Episode 241Also Available On:Forced MaturityJuly 31Leader NotesCo-Dependent Definition: Emotional or psychological reliance on a partner. Tendency of leaders to set-up their leadership as co-dependent. + Small Ways: Can’t make a decision because the Boss it out of town. + Big Ways: “We left the Church because the pastor left, it’s just what you do” * Issue: The test of great leadership is what happens when you’re absent*.

Why Do We Do That? Kindest Way: We don’t even realize we’re doing it and we don’t know how not to. + Where tools like vision, values, systems come into play when they’re being used to empower, not create bureaucracy. * Realest Way: We feel like imposters, we’re not secure in our role, we want to feel needed*. + Acknowledge that it feels good to need your opinion to make a decision. + Acknowledge that it feels good for people to leave because you’re no longer there because it’s not the same. * Point + We want to feel wanted. + When a leader leads to feel wanted, they become needed, and create co-dependency.

Co-Dependent LeadershipThe Impact of Co-Dependent Leadership1. Hurts longevity. No momentum beyond current tenure. 2. Cripples Development. Think of like a parent who needs to be needed by their kids. The result is the kids never become adults. Here: The followers never become leaders in their own right.

Antidote You antidote to co-dependent leadership is security. * Security is built on: + Awareness of Gifting. - Don’t need validation of your competency. - Security is built on testing and trial, not just affirmation. - Amateurs want to know they did well, professionals want to know how they can get better. Donald Miller. + Commitment to Calling, not assignment. - Security will never exist if all you have is a job. - What I do supercedes the person I’m doing it with’s opinion of me. + Effectiveness that is built on your willingness to adapt*. - Key is listening and adapting. - People will tell you how to lead them, not because it’s a perfect match.

Conclusion* The danger of co-dependent leadership. * Cultivate Security. Share This Podcast!Never Miss A Thing!