Romans 12:17-19 - Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
One of the hardest things to do in this life is to respond well to all of the various evils that come against us each day. The most challenging of all is when other people hurt us, especially if they do it intentionally. Whether it is an abusive parent, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister or friend, having evil done to you is painful and oftentimes deeply emotional. Sadly, these types of situations even occur within God’s church, and since the church is a family, it hurts all the more.
What then do we do when we are on the receiving end of evil words or actions from others? Maybe someone is gossiping about you or speaking of you in a way that paints you inaccurately. Perhaps someone has spoken harshly to you or lied to you, or maybe someone has totally shut you out and abandoned you. As you can see, the possibilities are sadly endless as to what kinds of pain we can cause one another.
According to Paul, one thing that we must not do in these circumstances is respond to evil with doing our own evil. You will never solve a conflict or resolve a painful situation with a cutting tongue, a swift hand or a slammed door. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." Our goal should be to bring as much light into the situation as possible, drowning out the evil so that peace may come.
If your motive in these circumstances is to retaliate, then you are missing what Christ has called you to as a Christian. We are meant to be peacemakers, and our hope should always be that peace would come. That can’t happen if we have wrath and vengeance in our hearts towards others. We may have been wronged, and we should address those wrongs through various means, but our goal should always be peace, not more wrath, violence or pain.
The Lord is the one who will bring justice to those who are oppressed, abused and disdained. This is his role, and he will always do justice perfectly. Our role is to trust in this promise and pursue peace with all people, especially those in the body of Christ. You may be thinking right now of difficult situations where gaining peace seems an impossibility, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pursue it.
As you think about what this may mean for today, think of the forgiveness that Jesus brought to you, even though you were an enemy of God. Think of the peace that Jesus secured between God and you, and how he secured it through tremendous sacrifice. God can bring peace to our relationships, but it won’t be without effort on our part. Consider where you may need to forgive, where you may need to sacrifice, and consider how you can love those in your life who may not love you well. As far as it depends on you, seek peace, love well, and trust God with the rest.