What are boundaries, why are they important and how can we start implementing them?
EPISODE NOTES:
Today I want to discuss boundaries with you—why it’s important to set boundaries, what it looks like to set boundaries, and how it can benefit your life. Boundaries are a way to honor your needs and yourself. They are a way of taking care of yourself. Boundaries are not necessarily to be used to protect yourself from things.
Boundaries can be as simple as saying “I’m not going to do this, but I am going to do this”—and sticking with it. Boundaries are and look different for different people. You’re going to evolve and change. Some of the boundaries you have now, you won’t need in the future because they will become a lifestyle. Initially you’re going to need to hold yourself to whatever promise or commitment you make. It’s actually very good for your mind and body to be able to depend on you. It’s super important to honor your promises to yourself.
It’s never a child’s job to help the adult to be ok. A child is not supposed to have to be the parental figure.
Boundaries become a way for our bodies and psyches to know that we will actually be there to advocate for and ensure the wellness of our own self. Boundaries are also a way for other people to understand us and what to expect from us. People become very accustomed to what we do and how we show up. If you feel like you’re often taken advantage of, I encourage you to start evaluating what you’re doing, the way you’re living, the patterns that you’re keeping that allow people to take advantage of you.
I’m a big proponent of shining the spotlight back on ourselves to discover what it is in us that we can change to affect the reality around us. Ask yourself “What have I been doing that’s been encouraging this person to take advantage of me?” There are situations where we feel like we’re being taken advantage of and it’s because we allowed ourselves to be. We go the extra mile, we do all the things, we say yes, we host the events, we don’t let people help us, over and over again. In that case, we have allowed people to take advantage of us. By saying no to things, we train people what to expect from us. It may be a shock to some people at first for you to start saying no, but overtime, they’ll learn. If they can’t handle the relationship changing, then it’s for the best. It’s important for the people closest to you to respect your boundaries.
If we want to live in an emotionally well place, then the type of people we want in our life will be the type of people who respect us.
Start with one or two boundaries for the most important things and practice getting used to them. Slowly bring in more. Be consistent. When you see you’re being consistent, bring in another boundary.
If you want to talk more about this, reach out at corinne@changeradically.com.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/corinne-guido-powell/message