Are you curious what it looks and sounds like to self parent (aka reparenting)? Listen to one of my own experiences had recently!
EPISODE NOTES:
I want to talk to you today about reparenting and what that looks like in real time. Some people call it self parenting. It's a way that we look at the little kid we once were and take care of that child that didn't receive all the nurturance, love, and attention that was needed.
Even though there are many ways we reparent, this is a prime example of how I especially find comfort. I was having a hard day. I was so energetically low, I felt depressed. I was having a hard time all day. I remember heading to my home office and I paused in front of the door. I felt a sense of no, don't do that right now. Recognize your inner child—little Corinne. So I sat on my bed and placed my hands over my heart and recognized I was emotionally flashing back. What I was feeling that day was actually similar to how I felt as a child.
I grew up homeschooled until high school. The home I grew up in was dysfunctional and chaotic. My mom was overwhelmed doing the best she knew how, but it was a really stressful environment. I remember having chest pains and stomach aches often. The chest pains and stomach aches were a manifestation of the stress and anxiety that was in my surroundings. It was a lonely existence. I didn't realize that as a kid. As a teenager, I thought I had a pretty good childhood. It wasn't until I moved deeper into doing the inner work that I realized wow, I actually experienced a lot of traumatic events. Sometimes emotional neglect is what's traumatic. Sometimes it's outright abuse. I experienced both.
So I realized what I as feeling that day was what the little girl in me knew. Little Corinne knew this feeling. I sat there and let the tears flood me. I was sobbing. I was feeling for that little girl and I was speaking out loud to her, visualizing her in my mind's eye. Giving myself a hug. Rocking back and forth as I sat on the bed. All of these are ways our body is able to release some stored trauma and experience some of the nurture and care from our own selves. We've always lived in the same body. The body you had as a little kid is the same body you have now. As a grown adult, I was able to give attention to that little girl and to express that I'm so sorry and sad that you didn't have the attention you needed. I'm sorry that your mom didn't know how to be the mom that you needed. I'm sorry that your every day was so often lonely and sad and depressing.
I was in the moment. I don't know all the things I said to my inner self. I spoke the words that I thought the inner little girl needed to hear. It was soothing. It was calming. It was cleansing. As I sobbed and held myself. This was a prime way I was reparenting/self parenting and taking back time. Time is relative. I could step back into that past memory in the apartment I grew up in. I could visualize it so clearly. I could visualize the pain my heart and psyche knew. It didn't get immediately better, but I did feel a sense of cleansing. I felt a sense of comfort. I felt like I had acknowledged a part of me that I never knew needed acknowledgement. I felt like I understood a part of me that hours before I didn't understand. Healing is layered. My entire being was able to soak up that love and care.
It can be such a touchy subject saying what am I saying about my parents. This is not me in any way saying I didn't have good parents. They did the best they knew how, but that doesn't mean I received everything I needed. You may have wonderful parents and they may have done the best they knew how, but it doesn't mean you received everything you needed either.
To experience this for yourself, participate in the next group session. Go to https://changeradicallyscheduler.as.me/ to register!
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/corinne-guido-powell/message