This is an excerpt taken from a recent group session.
EPISODE NOTES:
Learning to love ourselves and really take care of ourselves changes life so profoundly. If we have a parental figure who is not emotionally capable of taking care of themselves or to take care of us, we can learn to put our own needs aside. We learn how to make sure everyone else is ok. If mom or dad isn’t angry, we feel safer. Sometimes as grown adults, the byproduct is that we don’t honor our own needs because we’ve learned so well how to put ourselves aside.
That’s where we need to go on this journey to keep promises to ourselves. When we feel like we need to do something for ourselves, it means honoring that. Honoring your needs in a small way is still ok. If you’re needing a bath and sit in it for 2 minutes, that’s better than disregarding something your body is saying you need. It’s better for your brain and body if you say “I honored it and did what I felt I needed to do.” It doesn’t matter the length of it. You can grow in how long you do something.
The act of doing it is extremely powerful. It’s really important for our brains to not give in to the cognitive dissonance—to say one thing, but do another. To do what we say we’re going to do is really important and good for our brains and bodies. Take notice of how your body feels when you do that. It’s a release of tension. If all day long I say I want to go for a walk, and I never do, I feel this agitation inside. If I say all day long I want to go for a walk and I make a point to take even a short one, it’s so worth it on so many levels.
Have reasonable expectations of ourselves. It’s not helpful to list 10 things we need to do. It’s not helpful when we set the bar too high. Baby steps. Set reasonable and manageable goals that we can accomplish and feel very satisfied. If we’re reasonable with ourselves and follow through—we can build on that. We have to start small if we’re not keeping promises to ourselves right now.
We should be able to trust ourselves most out of anyone. We can’t decide who’s going to show up or how dependable they’re going to be. But if we know we’re going to show up for ourselves and we’re dependable, that’s a big deal! When we follow through on things, we can fine tune them.
It can be really hard if you are someone who is intuitive and you bring things up to people and they deny your senses because of their own guilt or experiences. It can really disrupt your trust in yourself. It doesn’t always mean you were wrong. Sometimes the other person isn’t in a place to open up.
To connect with me further, contact me at corinne@changeradically.com.
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/corinne-guido-powell/message