Consciously living means consciously parenting. Nobody is exempt from trauma. Even if I do my best, my kids will still be affected by traumatic events in their lifetime. I can’t protect them from it all. As parents, all we can do is the best with what we know and what we learn.
My goal is to heal myself and to offer those tools to my kids as well. I wasn’t offered that as a child because my parents didn’t know what wasn’t modeled to them. I am intentionally breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma.
As parents, we’re all learning as we go. We’re doing it for the first time. We’re going to make mistakes. It’s okay to not get it right all the time. I’m one human being loving, nurturing, and raising 3 other human beings as best I know how!
I want my children to know that I will be there with them as they feel big emotions that create overwhelm. I will be with them as they walk through their feelings. My kids will probably need their own therapy in the future, and I’m okay with that. I’m still purposing to do the best I can!
The more conscious and aware we become, the more consciously we can parent. Learn about your patterns and your mindsets - why you do what you do. Where did your underlying beliefs form? Allow yourself to wake up to what’s going on at the subconscious level.
Focus inward, heal yourself. Offer your children a different experience than you had. What our parents didn’t know they couldn’t model for us. When we transform from the inside out we can show the next generation another way.
There’s a child within each of us that needs attention, nurturance and love. We all need to consciously reparent our self. We have experienced varying degrees of trauma but we can all identify in certain ways, because none of us are exempt from experiencing the pains of life.
Empathy is KEY. When someone feels understood they also feel seen. It’s very important during the developmental years to know you are heard and understood. If you didn't receive that as a child, you can now offer that to your inner child.
You can become aware enough to recognize how other people may be feeling. Don’t assume; ask. It’s not always easy. In fact it takes quite a bit of energy to be a conscious parent! It's also worth it!!!
Don’t be a “know it all.” Kids don’t need to be lectured and taught all the time. They need to feel loved and understood. They need to know that we see them as intelligent. Be a learner. Apologize.
Here’s to all of us doing the best we can, with what we know and what we can learn!
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