I had already entered this description already, but I guess I'll do it again.

Obviously, I'm off today.  BUT, that's what therapy is forrrr.

If you own other properties, pay a random neighborhood kid to mow your lawn.  Otherwise, angry neighbors like me end up caving and doing it.

If your car is slow, park it and buy a bus pass.  Otherwise, get in the right lane and at least try to do the speed limit.  Also, if you're in the left lane, do the POSTED speed limit, or I'll let ya hear about it at the next stop light.