Keep Talking Revolution: Recent Episodes
Sharon Costanzo
Join the host Sharon Costanzo as she interviews communication experts, talks with real-life women about their own transformations, and provides her own insights on what it takes to create open and productive communication patterns in your relationship.
In this final episode before the break, Sharon Costanzo reflects on her year, the thought-provoking books and stories that are on her mind, and how it paints her unique perspective as a woman navigating a world dominated by patriarchal structures. Sharon reflects on recent events, including Blake Lively and Jason Baldoni, the overturning of Donald Trump’s sexual assault case, and the broader challenges women face when speaking out. With eyes toward the future, Sharon explores how patriarchy limits men, their happiness, their ability to connect deeply, and offers resources and insights for men and women to create equitable relationships and shared visions for a better future.
Connect with Sharon:
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
The holidays can be a challenging time for many women, who often find themselves feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed. In this episode of Respected and Connected, Sharon Costanzo explores why this is such a common experience and how to navigate it with grace and confidence.
Sharon dives into how phrases like "should" can reinforce harmful societal constructs—and why saying “It means a lot to me” can open the door to meaningful communication. Develop winning strategies for feeling more respected and appreciated, and what to do when you don’t feel listened to—before you get mad.
Whether you’re navigating difficult family dynamics or just trying to enjoy the holidays without resentment, this episode is packed with practical advice to help you feel more connected and valued.
Connect with Sharon:
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
In this reflective episode of Respected & Connected, Sharon Costanzo announces that the podcast will be going on hold and shares powerful lessons she’s learned along the way. Drawing from her own experiences in business and life, Sharon offers actionable insights on maintaining relational integrity and making aligned decisions. Sharon explores the importance of defining what you want, recognizing what’s not working, and breaking free from unhelpful patterns to create meaningful connections. Tune in for inspiration on stepping back, reevaluating priorities, and taking ownership of your happiness and success.
Connect with Sharon:
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
In this episode, Sharon discusses three levels of expressing your needs to your partner—invitation, request, and demand — and how each approach is based on how important the issue is to you. Consider these three tools to frame requests in a way that fosters collaboration and mutual respect, helping your partner feel engaged and successful in meeting your needs.
Connect with Sharon:
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Schedule a Gridlock Breakthrough Session and get the clarity and confidence you need to address a relationship challenge: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Would you be surprised to know that aspects of engineering can be applied to strengthen relationships? Our Guest today, Gabriela Embon, shares with us how the mindset of an engineer can help you set goals, troubleshoot issues, and show up with dedication and commitment when working with your partner. Join us today as Gabriela and Sharon dive into the insights gained from their engineering backgrounds, and how they apply it when working with their clients. Don’t miss out on a chance to pick up Gabriela’s new book “Becoming a Power Couple”.
Gabriela’s Links:
https://www.becomingapowercouple.net
https://www.facebook.com/coachingacademynet/
https://www.instagram.com/gabrielaembon/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/coachingacademynet/?originalSubdomain=ca
Connect with Sharon:
- Linktree: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/links
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Have you ever heard of Relational Life Therapy? It’s an incredible tool in couple’s therapy! In this episode Sharon takes a moment to describe what Relational Life Therapy is, how it confronts gender norms and empowers couple’s to approach each other on an equal field. Learn how RLT can help you show up with love and authenticity to deepen your connection with your partner, and yourself.
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Relational Life Therapy:
- Website: https://terryreal.com/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Have you ever wondered how your past relationships have shaped your emotional responses to your partner?
This episode explores the four different relationship attachment styles. Our Guest today is Bev Mitelman M.A., the founder of Securely Loved. Bev and Sharon dive into attachment styles, and how those subconscious patterns affect how we perceive conflict with our loved ones. Learn about the four key relationship attachment styles; Secure, Anxious Preoccupied, Fearful Avoidant, and Dismissive Avoidant; hear Bev explain how these attachment style form, what patterns they cause us to fall into, and how being aware of your style can allow you to connect more effectively with loved ones.
Bev’s Links:
https://www.SecurelyLoved.com
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Tired of feeling let down or resentful in your relationships?
This episode explores the hidden power of disappointment. Sharon dives deep into common mistakes we make when dealing with unmet expectations.
Learn practical skills like the "Feedback Wheel" and "Soft Startup" to transform conflict into connection. Discover how to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms and communicate your needs effectively, even after betrayals or during life transitions.
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a breakthrough call: https://respectedandconnected.com/gridlock
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
http://www.lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Is unconditional love a worthwhile aspiration or an unrealistic expectation?
In this episode, Zach Beach shares his insights on the concept of unconditional love and how it can be navigated alongside the necessary boundaries in various relationships. He emphasizes the importance of setting intentions and aspirations, the significance of integrating both the relative and absolute aspects of our human experience, and the necessity of maintaining boundaries as a form of self-love. Zach also explores the roles of the heart and mind in understanding life's challenges, accountability, and the evolutionary aspect of social connections.
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Connect with Zach Beach
- Zach’s Website: https://www.zachbeach.com/
- Zach on Instagram:
- Learn to Love Podcast: https://www.zachbeach.com/podcasts/
- Living front the Heart Podcast: https://www.zachbeach.com/series/living-from-the-heart/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Do you ever hold back in asking for what you want in your relationship because you’re not sure if your expectations are reasonable? I hear this all the time. And while I sometimes think that people do have unrealistic expectations of their intimate relationships, I also think that we’re asking the wrong question.
In this episode, we discuss:
- A few guiding principles for understanding and communicating your expectations
- How to be more thoughtful about how you communicate and negotiate getting your needs met
- The two types of partnership issues and how to address them
- Differentiating between needs and strategies for a more satisfying relationship
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Sharon’s Travel Agent - Jessica Facer
- https://www.wanderpodtravel.com/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Men…do you know what your partner needs to feel safe & provided for in today’s relationships? Because it has changed.
Kristal DeSantis is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in men’s issues. She’s the author of the book Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man. And she’s on the podcast today to talk about some of the ideas and concepts she’s learned from working with men and helping them navigate intimate relationships.
Topics discussed:
- How expectations for intimate relationship have changed
- What do women mean when they say they want a partner instead of a provider?
- Why traditional therapy has not adequately addressed men’s issues
- Specific skills for creating safety in today’s relationships
Website and Linktree:
Free Guide: How to Talk to Your Partner About Getting Help With your Relationship Respectedandconnected.com/coupleswork
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Connect with Kristal:
- Website: https://www.strong.love/
- Buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Relationship-Field-Guide-Modern/dp/1959099027
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
What do you do when you’re doing your best to use good relationship skills and your partner isn’t responding well? If you’ve ever felt like things go wrong no matter how hard you try, this episode is for you.
Topics discussed:
- Understanding relationship phases - love without knowledge, knowledge without love, and knowing love
- Identifying common reactions to unmet expectations
- Choosing healthier strategies for effective communication
- The importance of patience and persistence in the process of change
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Have you ever used a personality test to help you understand your partner or your relationship better? Today’s guest Laurel Roberts-Meese is a therapist who uses the enneagram with individuals and couples to help them understand their fears, motivations, and behaviors better.
Topics discussed:
- The nine enneagram types, their fears, and motivations
- The enneagram as a trauma informed personality typing system
- Understanding conflicts in a couple through the lens of the enneagram
- How understanding each person’s fears and motivations can help couples navigate conflict more effectively
Website and Linktree:
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Connect with Laurel
- Laurel Therapy Collective Website: https://www.laureltherapy.net/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
One question that I get often as a relationship coach is - when should someone see a professional for help with their relationship? A lot of us have an idea of the BIG things that end most relationships like abuse and infidelity, but what about everything else? What about couples that just feel stuck, aren’t feeling close, fight too much…but don’t know if things are bad enough to warrant investing in getting help?
As a relationship coach, I’m a huge advocate for getting help before you’re in crisis. And today I want to talk a little bit more about how to know if you need support, especially if you’re feeling stuck and there are no huge glaring issues in your relationship.
Topics discussed:
- When to seek professional help for your relationship
- Understanding common relationship issues
- The increasing occurrence of “grey divorce”
- Recognizing unhealthy conflict patterns
- The importance of early intervention for addressing relationship challenges
- The role of a couples coach or therapist
Website and Linktree:
Free Guide: How to Talk to Your Partner About Getting Help With your Relationship Respectedandconnected.com/coupleswork
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Hear Sharon on the other end of the mic in this conversation with hosts of the Couples Therapy in Seven Words podcast.
Topics discussed:
- Sharon’s personal journey navigating cultural expectations, pursuing a career in engineering, and advocating for a more equitable relationship
- Navigating gender role conflicts
- Advocating for yourself by “calling in” instead of “calling out”
Website and Linktree:
Free Guide: Five Skills for an Intimate, Collaborative Relationship: Respectedandconnected.com/skills
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
Couples Therapy in Seven Words Podcast: https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Have you ever wondered why you and your partner can view the same situation so differently? You can’t even agree about what happened and how you should handle it. Trying to make up that difference and get on the same page can be absolutely mind boggling. Today’s guest, Thais Gibson, is here to help. We’re talking about attachment styles and understanding your relationship through an attachment lens can help you understand each other better and handle your differences more productively.
Topics discussed:
- Moving beyond traditional EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) to address subconscious attachment wounds and programming
- Understanding your core wounds and communicating your needs
- Taking responsibility for your part of a relationship while also fostering connection and interdependence
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-142
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
Personal Development School Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Do you hate feeling resentful toward your partner and not knowing what to do about it? Resentment is a tricky emotion. It tells you that something is wrong, but it’s not very good at helping you move forward.
It’s not fair to you or your partner to stay stuck in resentment. So today I’m sharing five ways to overcome resentment in your marriage, so that you can start enjoying and appreciating your partner again.
Topics discussed:
- Balancing acceptance and advocating for change
- Understanding the underlying cause of your resentment
- Taking a holistic approach to moving past resentment
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-141
Schedule a free call with Sharon to explore how we can work together to overcome resentment in your relationship, respectedandconnected.com/contact.
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
We hear all the time that co-parenting with your ex is hard. And it seems almost inevitable that you’re going to be arguing and maybe even taking each other to court often between the time that you split until the kids have all grown.
Our guest today - Julia Hoffman - says it doesn’t have to be that way. You can choose to have a different kind of coparenting relationship, starting with taking full responsibility for creating the kind of experience you want to have.
Topics discussed:
- Challenging the shame and stigma around divorce
- Advice for navigating the co-parenting relationship
- How to support exes and new partners in coparenting
- Owning your part in the marriage
- Prioritizing the kids’ well being
- Benefits of coparenting
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-140
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
https://juliahoffmancoaching.com/book-a-call
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
We hear all the time that marriage is work. But nobody is talking about what that work is, how to work with a less enthusiastic partner, when what you’ve got is as good as it gets, or when to shift gears and try something else.
In this episode, Sharon breaks down her four part framework for realistic, lasting relationship growth.
Topics Discussed:
- How to figure out what relationship advice to follow and what to ignore
- Why trauma work and regulating your nervous system isn’t enough to have the kind of relationship you really want
- What you need to do to be able to execute good relationship skills
- How to create an environment that empowers your partner to show up for you
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-139
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Explore Private Coaching: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/blueprint
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
What should you do if you’re unhappy enough in your marriage to consider divorce?
Divorce is expensive, it’s messy, and complicated. And it’s hard for kids. But staying in a marriage that isn’t working is also a really hard and painful way to live.
Anna Howerton joins the podcast to talk about navigating the divorce contemplation phase. Listen to learn about what to do when you’re contemplating divorce, how to determine what can be improved, and when to walk away.
Topics Discussed:
- The importance of taking preventative measures to avoid turning into roommates
- Exploring and making peace with what can be improved and what is “normal” in a marriage
- The value of getting an outside perspective when you’re unhappy and struggling
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-138
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Follow Anna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annahowerton_/
Contact Anna: https://www.annahowerton.com/contact
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Would you like to learn how to set boundaries around difficult behavior without creating more drama?
In this episode, we dive into the often discussed but misunderstood concept of boundaries. Sharon shares some ideas for de-escalating and neutralizing offensive behavior without being punitive or provocative.
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-137
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Let’s face it. Most of us haven’t been taught how to do conflict well. And our lack of skill in tough conversations can really wreak havoc on our relationships.
In this episode, host Sharon Costanzo talks to Kat Newport about the principles from her book Smart Conflict.
Kat has done some brilliant work identifying and teaching the core skills for navigating conflict. Not only is her process simple and easy to understand, but it’s warm and compassionate and empowering.
Tune in for tips on how to think about conflict with the end in mind and Kat’s step-by-step process for staying on track in tough conversations.
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-136
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
https://www.smartconflictbook.com/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Feel like you’re doing too much work in your relationship?
Jessica Myers-Adams, a certified therapist and relationship coach talks about the power of being a relationship visionary. We explore practical strategies for improving relationships even in the face of personal challenges & disappointment.
We discuss:
- the importance of self and other differentiation,
- making every problem your own, and
- the significance of listening and positive reinforcement in relationships
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-135
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
https://couplesspeak.com/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Can too much stability in a relationship be a bad thing?
Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a psychologist with over 30 years of experience in couples therapy says that often couples get so good at stability in their relationship that they neglect their need for intimacy.
We discuss:
- The tension between stability & intimacy in relationships
- Bruce’s seven word formula for couples work
- Recovering from infidelity
- The importance of relying on faith to get through the hard parts
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-134
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
https://brucechalmer.com/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
A very casual conversation with Corrie Woods about our mutual dislike for the very common relationship advice to “let men lead.”
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-133
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
- Corrie’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/corrie.woods.12
- Corrie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/corriejwoods/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
What’s wrong with being a “Nice Guy” anyway?
Jason Lange, a specialist in men’s issues, particularly the Nice Guy Syndrome shares his insights on the evolution of men’s roles and the importance of being connected with one’s power, head, and heart.
We discuss:
- What is the Nice Guy Syndrome and how do men develop it
- Challenges and misconceptions about Nice Guys
- Advice for couples and individuals dealing with Nice Guy Syndrome
- How men and women can create more satisfying, authentic partnerships
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-132
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
- Jason’s website: https://evolutionary.men/
- Jason’s podcast: https://evolutionary.men/podcast-evolutionary-men-lead-in-life-and-love/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Have you ever felt hesitant to speak up and advocate for the supportive partnership that you want?
Dr. Julie Hanks, a licensed therapist, owner of Wasatch Family Therapy, and well known influencer, shares her insights on creating partnership families and the challenges that often come with this endeavor.
We discuss:
- The concept of aspirational shame and how it prevents women from pursuing their goals and advocating for their spouse’s support
- The importance of valuing unpaid work
- Key characteristics of a partnership marriage
- The importance of language and challenging assumptions
- How partnership and engagement in the home benefits men
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-131
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
- Julie’s Website: https://www.drjuliehanks.com/
- Julie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjuliehanks/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Have you ever felt hesitant to speak up and advocate for the supportive partnership that you want?
Dr. Julie Hanks, a licensed therapist, owner of Wasatch Family Therapy, and well known influencer, shares her insights on creating partnership families and the challenges that often come with this endeavor.
We discuss:
- The concept of aspirational shame and how it prevents women from pursuing their goals and advocating for their spouse’s support
- The importance of valuing unpaid work
- Key characteristics of a partnership marriage
- The importance of language and challenging assumptions
- How partnership and engagement in the home benefits men
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-131
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
- Julie’s Website: https://www.drjuliehanks.com/
- Julie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjuliehanks/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Would you like to experience greater intimacy and connection with your male partner?
In this episode, we welcome Eric Fitz Medrud, a therapist specializing in relationships and men's issues.
Eric shares his personal journey from struggling with his own desires and ethical values to becoming a specialist in relationship and sexuality therapy. He highlights common misconceptions women have about men’s emotional and sexual behaviors, emphasizing the importance of safety, consent, and compassionate communication. Eric also provides practical advice on creating more open and satisfying intimate relationships, and the benefits of becoming an 'erotic team.'
Topics Covered:
- Why men struggle to express their sexual desires
- Understanding men's relationship challenges
- Misconceptions about men's difficult behavior
- Navigating desire discrepancies
- How to explore new avenues for connection with safety and consent
- Encouraging emotional expression in men
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-130
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
- Website: https://www.drericfitz.com/
- Book: The Better Man - A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex: https://www.drericfitz.com/the-better-man/
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
What did you learn about sex growing up and how is it impacting your marriage?
In this enlightening episode, we sit down with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, an esteemed author and sex therapist, to explore the profound impact of sexual shame on intimacy and relationships. Dr. Sellers shares her extensive knowledge on the subject, drawing from years of experience in helping individuals and couples navigate the complex landscape of sexuality and shame.
We delve into topics like the roots of sexual shame, its consequences on our emotional well-being, and practical strategies for healing and reclaiming intimacy in marriages and long-term partnerships.
Topics Covered:
- The origins and manifestations of sexual shame
- The role of cultural and religious messages in perpetuating shame
- How sexual shame affects intimacy in relationships
- Steps to begin the healing journey from sexual shame
- Strategies for couples to reconnect and build a healthier sexual relationship
- The importance of open communication and vulnerability in marriage
.
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-128
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
- Main Page: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/
- Books: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/books
Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
What’s the best way to respond when your spouse rejects your carefully considered requests?
In this episode, we dive into the often overlooked yet critical topic of dealing with rejection in marriage. Sharon shares valuable insights on maintaining a healthy relationship despite disappointments. Listen to learn how to handle rejection with grace and foster a greater capacity for generosity, vulnerability, and risk-taking within your relationships.
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-128
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Do you ever wonder if your marriage would be easier if your spouse was just a little more like you?
In this insightful episode, we delve into the complexities and beauty of personality differences within relationships. Our guest, Erin Woodruff, a life coach who specializes in helping high-achieving women stay happily married to introverts, joins us to share her expertise.
Erin provides valuable tips for improving communication and understanding between introverts and extroverts, emphasizing that it’s normal to struggle with personality differences and that these differences don't need to be changed for harmonious relationships.
Website and Linktree:
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-127
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Guest Links:
Podcast: https://timeforyou.buzzsprout.com/share
IG: https://www.instagram.com/erinwoodruffcoaching/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/erinwoodruffcoaching
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Lconnorvoice.com
Music Credits:
Happy Growth - Music Radio Creative
Welcome to Respected & Connected the podcast dedicated to helping couples build more balanced and equitable relationships. Whether you're in the thick of raising kids and trying to establish a career or you’re considering what you want your empty nester chapter to look like our conversations are here to empower you and validate your experiences. In each episode, we delve into the complexities of marital conflict and partnership, shedding light on how gender biases and cultural pressures can subtly—yet significantly—impact relationships. Our goal is to provide practical, actionable advice to address power imbalances and foster a more collaborative and fair partnership. We go beyond surface-level advice by exploring the underlying dynamics that affect your relationship. From gender roles to societal expectations, we tackle the tough topics that most people shy away from, all while offering real-world solutions to implement in your daily life. Feel heard, seen, and understood as we navigate the challenges and triumphs of marriage together. Our discussions are designed to leave you feeling empowered, knowing you have the tools and insights to create a more harmonious partnership. Join us on this transformative journey and discover how to bring more fairness, understanding, and love into your marriage.
Tired of the old advice on the "right" way to get what you need in your relationships? Discover the transformative power of discovering your true identity and how your relationships can benefit with Megan Gibson.
We discuss:
- The journey from people-pleasing to self-empowerment
- How to identify and let go of false identities
- Practical tips for aligning your life & relationships with your true self
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-126
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Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Buy the glimmer journal on amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3VLWX23
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Send me a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/respectedandconnected
Many couples facing relationship issues are faced with the question - do we need help as a couple or do we need to do individual work first? In this episode we're exploring the differences between individual work and couples work and when you should consider each type.
We discuss:
- The risks and benefits of couples work
- The limitations of individual work when dealing with relationship issues
- How couples work can provide leverage for personal growth
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-125
===
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Buy the glimmer journal on amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3VLWX23
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Send me a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/respectedandconnected
In this podcast episode, Sharon interviews Lark Galley, a wife and mother who has experienced the profound grief of losing a son to suicide.
Lark shares the challenges this tragedy posed to her marriage and how it has affected both her and her husband's perception of success, personal achievements, and their relationship with each other. We explore the complexity of grief, the importance of allowing vulnerability in the healing process, and how Lark and her husband have worked through their grief individually and as a couple. Additionally, Lark highlights the impactful moments of realization and acceptance that have helped them both to find new ways to connect and support each other amidst their profound loss.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-124
===
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Buy the glimmer journal on amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3VLWX23
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Send me a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/respectedandconnected
Connect With Lark Galley
- Lark's Book - Learning To Breathe Again: https://amzn.to/4bARSOP
- Lark's website: https://larkdeangalley.com/
Working on your marriage without seeing any noticeable results is exhausting.
If you're running out of energy and motivation to work on your marriage, but you're not ready to walk away, this episode is for you.
We talk about three reasons we get burned out on working on our relationships and some ideas for how you can address them, so that you can still make progress in your marriage without feeling burned out or settling for less than what you really want.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-123
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Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Community call for couples & individuals: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Violetta Znorkowski is on a mission to close the gender gap from the inside out.
Listen in for an insightful conversation about:
- Recovering from hustle culture
- Self-leadership
- Recognizing and releasing emotions that don't serve us
- Redefining personal empowerment & success
- Navigating gender biases
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-122
===
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Connect with Violetta
- Expand and Impact on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/expand_and_impact/
- Happy, relaxed and successful woman, 21-day challenge: https://www.expandandimpact.com/offers/MzzbT3FK/checkout
Making the decision to get help with your marriage can be difficult, especially if you want help more than your spouse does.
If you're on the fence about getting help because you don't know if things are bad enough to warrant it or if you're afraid to rock the boat this episode is for you.
We're talking about:
- signs to look for,
- the value of third-party perspective,
- breaking free from passive relationship dynamics, and
- how to get past your initial resistance to finding help
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-121
===
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Buy the glimmer journal on amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3VLWX23
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Send me a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/respectedandconnected
If you're in a relationship for any period of time you're going to experience a major conflict or disappointment and that is not easy to deal with.
In this episode we share what it takes to rebuild trust and connection after conflict and disappointment so that you can grow together as a couple instead of slowly drifting apart.
We discuss:
- The importance of self-compassion and how it can help you heal and stay grounded during conflict and repair
- Simple ways to practice mindful self-compassion
- Practical steps for repair
- How to recognize when you're not approaching repair in a healthy way
- When to get help to repair trust in your relationship
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-120
===
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Buy the glimmer journal on amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3VLWX23
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Send me a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/respectedandconnected
Spoiler alert...safety in intimate relationships is a myth!
Many of us hesitate to discuss sensitive issues, even in our most important relationships. But relationships don't work longterm when you can't discuss concerns and issues openly and honestly. In this episode we're talking about things you can do to create more courage, curiosity, & humility in tough conversations so that you can have more honesty and transparency in the relationship without damaging your connection.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-119
===
Sign up for the next Thriving Together Couples Call: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/together
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Buy the glimmer journal on amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3VLWX23
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
- Send me a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/respectedandconnected
We're fooling ourselves if we think that every choice we make in our relationships is consciously determined.
But how to we access our subconscious so that we can make more conscious and aligned actions toward deeper understanding and connection?
Dr. Tonia Winchester joins us on the podcast to talk about how to slow down, question our triggered thoughts, and move forward with more patience and curiositywith ourselves and each other.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-118
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Sign up for the Respected & Connected women's retreat on April 13th at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/retreat
Get the Free Guide: Five Reasons Couples Get Stuck in Unproductive Conflict at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/unstuck
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Conflict in our intimate relationships is inevitable.
When we’re faced with a conflict in an intimate relationship we’re trying to achieve two goals at the same time. Maintain a connection with our person and our autonomy. It can be challenging to stay connected when we feel like our personal goals and desires are at risk.
And since very few of us were modeled what healthy conflict looks like, it can feel a lot like driving in a foreign country without a map.
In today’s episode, we’re sharing three strategies for addressing conflict as a team. When you can face your challenges with love & courage, you’ll feel a lot more appreciation and connection and less hostility and resentment.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-117
===
Sign up for the Respected & Connected women's retreat on April 13th at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/retreat
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
We all want happy, healthy relationships. And that can be hard to achieve when you're feeling disappointed or frustrated with your spouse.
Sharon shares a few ideas for approaching your partner when you're frustrated so you can address the issue and use a difficult conversation as an opportunity to connect and deepen your relationship.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-116
===
Sign up for the Respected & Connected women's retreat on April 13th at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/retreat
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Every woman from every walk of life understands the burden of invisible labor.
Laura Mickler, a mindset coach and yoga studio owner, joins us on the podcast for an insightful conversation about how to understand and share the burden of the mental load with your partner and family members.
We discuss:
- The concept of invisible labor
- Why it can be so difficult to share the load
- Practical tips and strategies for discussing and balancing home responsibilities
- How to empower family members to notice and take action
Follow Laura and learn more about her work at https://www.instagram.com/lauratakesabreath
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-115
===
Sign up for the Respected & Connected women's retreat on April 13th at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/retreat
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Dr. Marsha Martin, a spiritual empowerment counselor and best-selling author, discusses the importance of healing one's relationship with themselves.
We discuss:
- Acceptance and self love as the foundation for personal growth
- Taking responsibility to shift from blame to personal transformation
- The role of tools and resources in self-transformation
- Embracing imprefections to move past the fear of failure and experience more growth
- Cultivating self-love in difficult relationships and how self-love helps you navigate conflict
Learn more about Dr. Marcia Martin and her work at www.mmhearthealer.com
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-114
===
Sign up for the Respected & Connected women's retreat on April 13th at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/retreat
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Are you listening? Really Listening?
Laura Janusik, a trainer, coach, consultant, speaker, and researcher talks about the importance of listening in communication.
We discuss:
- How our listening habits shape our interactions
- The importance of quality listening and it's impact on the quality of our communication
- The concept of "listening intelligence" and how to improve your ability to listen well
- The four types of listeners and their strengths
- The role of empathy in effective listening
- How men and women are different (and similar) in their listening habits and strategies
- Advice for those who hesitate to speak up and be heard
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-113
===
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Does this sound like you...You know you want to communicate better, but you're not quite sure what to do differently?
In this episode, we're talking about:
- The goal of healthy communication (spoiler alert - it's not getting the other person to change)
- Unhealthy attitudes and behaviors that prevent good communication
- Five specific skills to improve your communication
- The one thing you always need to remember to avoid being manipulative
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://respectedandconnected.com/podcast/b/ep-112
===
Get the Free Guide: Five Characteristics of a Partnership Marriage at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/partnership
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
A heartfelt, hopeful, and practical perspective on how couples can make marriage work when one spouse has ADHD.
Kara Laws (the ADHD spouse) shares her story of how she and Jamie have navigated the challenges of marriage, specifically when additional support and understanding is needed.
We discuss:
- The importance of mutual respect in a partnership, regardless of differing challenges and abilities
- How to support your spouse in figuring out what works without taking over as a parent
- Specific examples of how executive dysfunction impacts daily routines and how couples can work together to maintain some structure in family life
- How to recognize and appreciate the special gifts and opportunities of relationships with a neurodivergent spouse
Kara's Website: Launched Academy
Find Kara on Instagram
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
If I were to give you my best advice about relationships and whether or not now is the time to put a lot of effort into your relationship development, this is the main question I would ask… “Would you be able to continue with how things are right now indefinitely?”
If the answer is no (which it has been for me several times over the course of my 10-year marriage) this episode is for you.
In this encore episode (first released in January, 2023) of the Respected & Connected Podcast, we're talking about how to set practical and inspiring relationship goals. We discuss... * Why you might hesitate to set a goal, especially a relationship goal. * Three questions to help you discover a goal that is both practical and inspiring. * What to consider when you're making a plan that will keep you moving forward in a positive direction. * Two big mistakes to avoid when you're working on goals that involve people who matter the most. * What might get in the way of your goal and how to recognize your "competing commitments."
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
Kamini Wood joins the podcast to talk about the interplay of imposter syndrome and people-pleasing among high achieving women, and how that can show up in intimate relationships.
We talk about:
- Kamini's journey working in the dot.com industry as a project manager and running a law office and how she discovered her true passions from her corporate experience.
- How motherhood helped reveal her perfectionistic and people-pleasing tendencies.
- How high-achieving women can regain a sense of worthiness and value to heal their relationships with themselves and others.
Connect with Kamini Wood on her website.
Find Kamini on Instagram.
===
Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
As women, we can have a tricky relationship with asking for and receiving what we want.
If this feels tricky for you, it can be particularly painful during the Christmas season.
This episode is for you! We're talking about three steps for asking for and receiving what you want - a concept originally taught to me by my mentor Terry Real.
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
This episode was originally aired on James Keddington's podcast "Overcome and Become."
Thanks James for a great conversation and for allowing us to share on the Respected & Connected podcast.
James and I talk about:
- Handling high confict situations in important relationships
- Some signs that your relationship with conflict is unhealthy
- How important our primary relationships are to our overall well being
- Mindsets that promote healthy relationships, and
- What you can do when your parents and in-laws are interfering in your marriage and family life
Connect with James Keddington and find the Better Me Nation on Facebook
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://www.respectedandconnected.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://www.respectedandconnected.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respected_and_connected
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RespectedConnected
- Schedule a free call: https://respectedandconnected.com/contact
In this special episode, I'm thrilled to share some exciting updates and changes with you.
The podcast is evolving. While these changes may feel significant to me, I acknowledge that they might not hold the same weight for you. But that's precisely what I want to discuss today: how we often overthink and assume that what matters to us matters equally to others.
As my work has evolved, I felt that the name "Keep Talking Revolution" no longer fully represents what we do.
This decision happened somewhat spontaneously and today I'm delving into the reasons behind this change and the lessons we can all take away from it.
Two key takeaways:
- Recognize that the changes you make may matter more to you than to others, and that's perfectly fine.
- Embrace taking action, even if it gets messy. Waiting for the "perfect" moment can hold you back. Trust that you have what it takes to figure things out as you go.
We're incredibly grateful for your support and invite you to join us on this exciting journey with our new brand. Thanks for being part of this transition.
Here is where we can connect:
- Website: respectedandconnected.com
- Facebook: facebook.com/respectedconnected
- Instagram: instagram.com/respected_and_connected
Elizabeth Tidwell, founder of My Club Red, is on the podcast to talk about how your menstrual cycle impacts your relationships.
We discuss:
- Why you can wake up hating your spouse for no obvious reason.
- The primary emotions and energies of each phase of your cycle.
- How to start recognizing the phases of your cycle and using this information to bring more care and awareness to your needs and your relationships.
Connect with Elizabeth Tidwell:
- https://myclubred.com
- https://www.instagram.com/myclubred
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
Boundaries has become such a buzzword in our culture, that it seems like the solution to all of our relational distress. But boundaries are really the first of three skills we need to create a solid foundation for our relationships.
If you’re feeling frustrated with something happening in any relationship, the three skills you need are Boundaries, Agreements, and Accountability.
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
Clint Callahan uses his wealth of knowledge as a therapist of over 20 years along with his personal experiences of loss, grief, and personal growth to help people make small but impactful changes in their daily lives.
We discuss:
- Clint's personal experiences growing up angry and detached from his emotions and then losing his mother to suicide.
- A simple 5 minute practice to re-gain your composure when you're feeling flooded or triggered in your relationships.
- A 15-minute daily meditation practice that helps you stay present, focused on your goals, and avoid burnout.
Connect with Clint Callahan:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchangesbigimpact.4u
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchangesbigimpact.4u
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clint-callahan-scbi/
- Free E-book: https://www.smallchangesbigimpact.net/free-ebook
Resources mentioned:
- Book: Atlas of the Heart (Amazon Link)
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
It's hard to know what to do when a tough conversation isn't going well, but you're afraid that doing the wrong thing will just make things worse. In this episode, we're talking about what to do when tough conversations get off track. We discuss: * Signs that more talking will just make things worse. * Ways to call a "healthy break." * Pitfalls to avoid when you've paused a tough conversation.
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
In this episode, we're talking about shadow discovery and how it impacts our relationships. Our guest, Catherine La O' says, "To create real change in your life, you must learn to face the parts of yourself that you have avoided until now."
We discuss:
- The concept of shadows and how they show up in our relationships
- How our personal history shapes the way we perceive different relationship dynamics
- The way to experience more freedom and connection in our relationships and communities
- Creating secure and resourced relationships that have the capacity to meet the demands we have for them
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Connect with our guest Catherine La O'
- Catherine's Website
- Catherine on Instagram
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
Our society is totally confused about the principles of apology.
Apologies are a necessary tool in a healthy relationship. But when they are misunderstood and used incorrectly they can make things worse.
In this episode, I'm breaking down three types of apologies. Including what you should never apologize about.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/podcast/b/ep-100
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Connect with Sharon:
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
Differences in parenting philosophies can create a lot of turmoil and friction in our relationships. Not only do we feel stressed and unsure of whether or not we're doing good enough as a parent, but we also often feel the need to get our spouse on board with our plan of action.
If you and your spouse aren't on the same page as parents, this will be hard on the couple and the kids.
Wanda Howard joins us today to talk about:
- Redefining success as a parent
- Letting go of false beliefs about our role as a parent
- Allowing our spouse/partner to parent differently than us, and
- How to get our needs and preferences met without becoming harsh or controlling
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Connect with Wanda Howard:
- Successful Parents Podcast
- Wanda on Instagram
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Get the Free E-book: 12 No-BS Rules for Navigating Relationship Challenges at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/nobs
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
When your partner responds negatively in a tough conversation, do you assume it's your fault or get blamed for "making things worse"? Are you compelled to backpedal, smooth things over, or even withdraw your complaint or request?
In this episode, I break down the fear many women have when speaking up - the fear of making things worse.
We talk about: * Where the fear of making things worse comes from. * How to recognize that it's time to make a change. * Three things you can do to overcome your fear.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/podcast/b/ep-98
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Connect with Sharon:
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
Walking on eggshells in a marriage is more common than you might think. And the best part is, when you stop doing it, your marriage can get a lot better.
If you've been walking on eggshells for way too long listen to learn:
- A simple formula for being more honest (and human) in your relationships
- How to deal with the inevitable fallout of disrupting the status quo
- Pitfalls to avoid when you stop taking responsibility for managing others' reactivity
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Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
Walking on eggshells in a marriage is more common than you might think. And the best part is, when you stop doing it, your marriage can get a lot better.
If you've been walking on eggshells for way too long listen to learn:
- A simple formula for being more honest (and human) in your relationships
- How to deal with the inevitable fallout of disrupting the status quo
- Pitfalls to avoid when you stop taking responsibility for managing others' reactivity
===
Connect with Sharon
- Website: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com
- Connect on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
- Connect on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeepTalkingRevolution
- Schedule a free call: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
As a coach who specializes in working with high-achieving men, Rhonda Farr has some great insight on how to help driven people have more satisfying relationships. Rhonda believes that the key to more connection and intimacy is a greater level of self-intimacy.
In this episode of the Keep Talking Revolution podcast, we discuss: * Why it's so much easier to blame our partner for a lack of connection than to see our part in our struggles. * The power of self-awareness ("self-intimacy") in opening the door to more relational intimacy. * How to take radical responsibility for your emotions without becoming cold or aloof.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-96
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More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Connect with Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Everyone knows that ultimatums are bad right? Not necessarily.
In today's episode, we're exploring when an ultimatum can be just what's needed to move a relationship forward and how you can know if you're communicating in a way that will damage your relationship or make it better.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-95
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More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Sign up here for my next 2-hour virtual workshop
Needy No More: Make it Easy For Your Partner to Understand and Respond to Your Needs
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We've all heard that boundaries are important, but it can be confusing to know where to start.
Our guest Sherralynn offers a great tool to get started - your boundary bill of rights.
We talk about:
- What a bill of rights is and how it helps you know what boundaries to set
- How knowing your "rules of engagement" helps you say "no" more easily and deal with boundary crossers and manipulators
- A few ideas to get you started creating your own bill of rights
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-94
Connect with Sherralynn Arnold & buy her book at deardreamer.com
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Workshop: Make it Easy For Your Partner to Understand and Respond to Your Needs, needynomore.com
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Read More Quick LinksGet Embed PlayerShare on SocialDownload Audio File
Join me on June 16th for "The Needy No More Workshop: How to communicate your needs without being needy or demanding." This workshop is about transforming how we discuss and fulfill our needs in our marriages. It's not a transaction; it's an opportunity to demonstrate generosity and support each other's well-being.
Sign up by June 15th at needynomore.com
Sign up here for my next 2-hour virtual workshop
Needy No More: Make it Easy For Your Partner to Understand and Respond to Your Needs
UPDATE: the date of this live workshop has been changed to 6.16.23
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One thing all good problem solvers do well is this: they know which problem to focus on to get the most out of their problem-solving efforts.
But, how do you know what the "right" problem is to solve?
In this episode of the Keep Talking Revolution podcast, we discuss:
- What kinds of problems are always a problem
- The difference between shame-based problems and dream-based problems
- The importance of focus and celebrating small wins when you're tackling tough relationship issues
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-93
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Workshop: Make it Easy For Your Partner to Understand and Respond to Your Needs, needynomore.com
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered if you missed something important when you started your relationship? Did you miss a red flag, and if so what now?
Dr. Yael Dubin offers a different perspective on these common "red flags" and instead offers the perspective that this may just be the trailhead of your healing journey.
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Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-92
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Do you often feel overwhelmed with everything on your plate? Your spouse wants to help, but deciding what needs to be done, when it happens, and how to do it is still your job.
In this episode, I'm talking about how to overcome this dynamic of parenting your spouse so that the help you're getting is actually helpful.
We talk about:
- How to recognize when you're parenting your spouse
- Two things to stop doing, and two things to start doing to move toward a more equitable partnership
- How to respond when you've been playing to your partner's demands for too long and you're ready to create a more equitable & intimate relationship
Resources Mentioned:
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky: https://amzn.to/3KKWUMK
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-91
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Weekly Partnership Checkup” keeptalkingrevolution.com/partnership_checkup
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Nobody talks about what to do when you love your partner, but you don't really like him. And when they do, the advice they offer is not particularly helpful.
In this episode of the podcast, I want to normalize the idea that it's OK to not like your partner all the time. And, there are things that you can do to not stay stuck in that state of what Terry Real calls "normal marital hatred."
If you don't relate to the idea of not always liking your partner, this episode is not for you. But, if you find yourself feeling like you're a little bit happier when he's not around listen below for some ideas of how to get out of your funk and back to a more peaceful coexistence.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-90
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
What do you do when an important conversation doesn't go your way? Do you give up, get angry, or tell yourself the issue isn't that important? Or, do you figure out what went wrong and try something different?
In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing how to recover from a difficult conversation, which is an important aspect of avoiding unproductive arguments and resolving ongoing conflict. Listen to learn more about how you can reflect on what happened and try something different.
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Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-89
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
It's easy to get sucked into an unproductive argument if you aren't prepared for it.
Learn the two big mistakes that lead to unproductive arguments and how to navigate around them so you can work through your challenges without losing your cool or getting shut down.
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Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-88
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
It's becoming more and more common that the standard for a good marriage is intimacy, not longevity.
How do you make the shift to a more intimate marriage after you've been hurt, rejected, or just slipped into the daily monotony of life, kids, and careers?
Listen to this episode for three tips to increase intimacy in your marriage and the one truth about intimacy that will help you move forward even when you aren't sure what your next step should be.
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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-87
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
How do you maintain intimacy in a long-term relationship?
This can be such a loaded question. But it's an important question. Because now, more than ever, couples want more than just a relationship based on sharing the responsibilities of taking care of a family plus sex in acceptable intervals.
Family life educator Amberly Lambertson joins us on the podcast to talk about some natural and comfortable ways to enhance your physical and emotional connection with your partner.
I ask her: * How do you define intimacy and why is it important to know what it means? * How do physical and emotional intimacy work together? * What can couples do to improve their physical and emotional connection? * How can couples work on their physical intimacy outside the bedroom? * What advice do you have for women who feel like all physical affection comes with an expectation for sex?
Follow Amberly Lamberston on Instagram at @aprioritizedmarriage and @daviscountydates
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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-86
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
Following up on last week's episode on differentiation, Sharon talks about some of her experiences working through mismatched expectations and conflict over household responsibilities in her marriage.
She shares:
- How being the "golden child" set her up for a habit of over-functioning in marriage
- How she focused on her own growth and personal work, even when Mario's behavior was unacceptable
- What's on the other side of the long and painful journey of making room for yourself in a marriage where you once felt exploited and unappreciated
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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-84
More Resources from the Keep Talking Revolution podcast:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
- Get the book "Everything Isn't Terrible" https://amzn.to/3JqpzHM
Not all couples therapists agree on the right way to resolve marital conflict
Traditionally the idea has been that taking a more accommodating stance will improve the relationship. But often, the pressure to accommodate each other can limit our growth and get in the way of true intimacy and satisfaction.
If you want a relationship where you feel truly seen, heard, and valued as an individual first you have to become a whole person. And then you have to have the courage to be that whole person in the face of someone who might not like or agree with you.
That's the basis of differentiation.
MFT student Brooke Rasmussen joins us on the Keep Talking Revolution podcast to talk about: * What differentiation means in marriage and family systems * Why a relatively peaceful marriage can feel stale or dead * How facing your anxiety in your relationships and becoming stronger from it is the key to a satisfying and fulfilling marriage
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Get the full show notes, podcast transcript, and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-84
More about Sharon:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
If I were to give you my best advice about relationships and whether or not now is the time to put a lot of effort into your relationship development, this is the main question I would ask… “Would you be able to continue with how things are right now indefinitely?”
If the answer is no (which it has been for me several times over the course of my 10-year marriage) this episode is for you.
In this episode of the Keep Talking Revolution Podcast, we're talking about how to set practical and inspiring relationship goals. We discuss... * Why you might hesitate to set a goal, especially a relationship goal. * Three questions to help you discover a goal that is both practical and inspiring. * What to consider when you're making a plan that will keep you moving forward in a positive direction. * Two big mistakes to avoid when you're working on goals that involve people who matter the most. * What might get in the way of your goal and how to recognize your "competing commitments."
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-83
More about Sharon:
- Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
- Schedule a free consult call: keeptalkingrevolution.com/contact
- Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
- Buy the Respected and Connected workbook on Amazon (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3WHNV3x
A year end wrap up for the Keep Talking Revolution Podcast. We talk about the Respected + Connected program, what I’ve learned in my business and how it impacts my personal life, popular episodes and posts, and what’s coming in 2023.
Schedule a 15-minute call to apply to join Respected + Connected by January 6th: respectedanconnected.com
Listen to this year’s most popular episode: keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-65
Join the conversation about why we need to stop blaming moms for raising entitled sons: https://www.instagram.com/p/CYUTnODr4ht/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-82
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Have you ever read a marriage book that came highly recommended to you and it just fell flat?
Maybe you start to wonder “what’s wrong with me…or what’s wrong with us that this thing that has been so helpful for someone else isn’t working for us?”
Today on the podcast I’m talking about a very popular and often misused marriage book.
I’m going to tell you why I think it’s so popular, when I think it’s useful, how it can be misused, and most importantly – how to love your partner better even if you don’t know their love language.
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-81
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
RESPECTED AND CONNECTED IS CURRENTLY OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT. Find out more and schedule a free 15-minute call to apply at respectedanconnected.com.
This week on the podcast, Sarah George shares her experience participating in the Respected + Connected program and how it’s changed her marriage.
Sarah shares:
- How she’s learned how to communicate with her husband in a more honest and unscripted way
- How the weight of having to know the right thing to say and the right time to bring things up has been lifted off her shoulders
- How having a target to shoot for makes it easier to stay on course, and get back on track
- How letting go of the need to control the conversation has helped her feel more validated and connected
We can assume so much about our people, especially when we have known them for a long time. But it can be so helpful to to let go of what we expect, speak up honestly, and let a conversation unfold naturally.
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-80
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
When a relationship feels like too much work the advice to “keep working on yourself” can feel dismissive and insensitive.
In this episode, we talk about what to do when working on a relationship feels like rowing a boat with one oar and how to keep up your end of the deal without overdoing it.
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-79
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Liliam Llanos is a trauma resolution coach who works with individuals on trauma resolution and trains other coaches and practitioners in scientific approaches to trauma resolution.
Working on trauma resolution has helped Liliam feel a sense of optimism for the future and stability in her day to day life. But before she could even do the work of trauma resolution, she had to recognize that what she was experiencing was a trauma response. With this knowledge and understanding of what was happening, she was able to learn how to revisit these memories and rewire her brain to have a healthier and more productive response.
We discuss how to recognize when you’re having a trauma response and some tips to resolve and rewire your responses.
Find Liliam Llanos on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/innergymaster
Schedule a free call with Liliam: https://bit.ly/FreeCallwithLiliam
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-78
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Trauma can make relationships tricky, particularly when we depend on those who hurt us to be part of our healing. If traumatic experiences are making it difficult to feel safe and connected with the people you care about, this episode is for you. I share a few non-expert insights on trauma, healing, and finding security and peace even when the people who hurt us aren’t able to comprehend their impact on us.
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-77
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
This week on the podcast I share an interview I did with Vauna Byrd for her Joyful Family Talks Program.
We talk about:
- How our fear and hesitation to speak up impacts our relationships
- The unexpected ways that I learned how to approach my husband with my complaints and concerns
- How I’ve learned to use my engineering skills to troubleshoot relationship challenges
- Why therapy might not work
- Where to start when you’re ready to change a relationship
- The first boundary to set when you’re working on improving your boundaries
- The problem with waiting for the right moment or searching for the right thing to say
Find out more about Vauna Byrd and her offers and programs at Vaunabyrd.com
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-76
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
The first question I asked Allyson on the podcast this week was, “What does it mean to lead with feminine energy and how is it empowering?”
Allyson shares:
- What feminine energy is and what it’s not
- Why men and women need both feminine and masculine energies
- How leading with feminine energy can help us to feel more present and fulfilled in our relationships
Get Allyson’s free gift: “Feminine and Masculine Energies at a Glance”
prosperityapproach.com/ataglance
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-75
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Every person who struggles with a difficult relationship wants to know what it really takes to save the relationship without losing themselves. Join me this week as I talk about what I have learned from my years of struggling with hostility and resentment in my marriage. And how we have gotten to the point where we can confidently work through any conflict.
Listen to this episode to learn:
- The difference between a healthy boundary and a grab for control
- The three questions I ask every client who wants to make their relationship better
- How to inspire your people to grow up and collaborate with you
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-74
More about Sharon:
Free Guide, “Five Key Elements of a Productive Conversation”: keeptalkingrevolution.com/5elements
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Do you find yourself overthinking what to say and how to say it in a hard conversation?
I'm releasing this bonus episode to walk you through my new free guide.
After I taught this recently at a women's retreat, one of the participants told me, "A few days after I learned this I had a conversation with my oldest daughter, that I could tell was not going to end well unless I changed something quick. I had the card right next to me and kept glancing at it to help keep me focused on listening and using the communication skills you taught.
"YAY!!! It worked!!!! So simple!!!
"Thank you so much!!!!"
Get the FREE GUIDE to follow along with the steps I share in this episode.
Is the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life” helpful or not? Today’s guest Arno Koch says “it depends.”
We do have a lot of influence on our partner’s happiness. And we have responsibility for how we feel.
Arno and I discuss the paradox of dependency in our romantic relationships, how we can support each other’s happiness, and what it means to depend on each other as relationships become more of a choice that we can choose to end any day.
More about Arno:
Website: https://imagine-evolution.com/about/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_arnokoch/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arno-koch
More about Sharon:
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-73
Do you ever hesitate to bring something up because you’re afraid of getting sucked into another unproductive conversation?
In this episode, you’ll learn how to approach important conversations so that you can talk about what really matters, solve problems, and focus on creating connection and understanding instead of arguing, shutting down, or running away before the issue is resolved.
When you consistently follow the principles of productive communication and take responsibility for how you’re showing it gets a lot easier to disagree and discuss your differences.
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Schedule a Relationship Reset Session: keeptalkingrevolution.com/resetsession
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-72
When you’re feeling frustrated in a relationship, it can be easy to assume that the problem is you. Maybe you’re just not lovable. At least not to your person.
This week’s guest Stacy Perry says that this type of thinking is not helpful. Instead, she suggests that believing you are lovable, just as you are, is the key to getting the relationship you want.
While some people may think that believing in your inherent lovability might make you overlook areas where you can grow, Stacy says that approaching yourself with an unshakeable sense of worthiness is the best way to overcome fear and frustration in your romantic relationships.
Info about Stacy:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stacyperrycoaching/
Website: https://www.stacyperrycoaching.com/
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-71
When I was 19 years old, I had a painful and tumultuous relationship that lasted about 8 months. Looking back, I can see that if I had known how to handle my disappointments in the moment I could have saved myself a lot of grief.
If I were to go back and coach my 19 year old self on how to handle these hard conversations, these five tips are what I would share.
- Know your message
- State your intention
- Take responsibility
- Assume positive intent
- Start talking (and assume that it will be messy)
These tips work whether you’re dealing with a new situation that has just come up or an old familiar pattern that you’re ready to break.
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-70
Vauna Byrd thought that everything in her marriage was going great. She had three little ones and was starting to feel like she and her husband were more financially stable and secure. Then, the police showed up at her door and she discovered that her husband had been involved with a teenage girl. Everyone told her that divorce was her only option. But something inside of her encouraged her to hold on to hope. After a three-year separation - and lots of healing and growth - they reunited their family and started rebuilding their lives together.
Listen to the full episode to learn:
- How she handled the pressure to leave,
- How she was able to heal and forgive, and
- What things are like now that this crisis is behind them
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-69.
We’ve all found ourselves in situations where we feel like we’re losing in our relationships. And maybe we feel a little bit better when we tell ourselves, “That’s OK. If someone’s going to suffer it might as well be me.” Or even, “That’s OK. I’ll get my turn next time.”
These are examples of win/lose mindsets and over time this approach compromises our ability to really connect with the people that we love.
In this episode, we’re talking about:
- Three types of win/lose scenarios that are common in relationships
- Why choosing a win/lose position is harmful
- What you can do to shift toward more win/win scenarios
- When you might want to choose a win/lose position
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-68
What does it mean to live life on purpose, how do we do it, and what happens when we do it?
Lara Johnson joins me on the podcast to talk about how to live a more joyful life even when the day-to-day things haven’t necessarily changed. It all starts with discovering your purpose - who you really are - and then living it.
Lara shares a few great questions to help you discover your purpose. You can get her free worksheet download along with info on how to connect with Lara on the episode webpage.
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-67.
What if you stopped worrying about the possibility of saying the wrong thing and instead learned how to recover from the inevitable communication mis-steps that come along with being human?
You can learn a lot from conversations that don’t go the way you’d like them to, which is why I believe it’s impossible to say the wrong thing.
So, instead of focusing on trying not to say the wrong thing, why not focus on saying what’s true and vulnerable? Speaking up gives you a chance to be real with people and that’s what creates real trust and connection in your important relationships.
Follow Keep Talking Revolution on Instagram: instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-66
One of the quickest ways to feel less stuck in a relationship is to evaluate how you're defining success. If your success is dependent on how the other person responds to you, whether you can convince them or get them to respect your boundaries, you're often going to feel frustrated and unsuccessful. If however, you redefine success to mean that you are satisfied with how you are showing up when things aren't going the way you want them to, then you have complete control over your success.
Decide ahead of time how you'll define success in your next tough moment and if you'd like my help with that you can schedule a free 30-minute call right here.
Have you ever tried to help someone that was being really resistant to your help?
You can see what they need and how you can help them, but they don’t really see or appreciate what you have to offer.
###### And when you keep trying to help someone who is resisting your help, it can create a lot of tension in the relationship.
Helping someone change something about themselves is very delicate territory, and it’s pretty easy to cross the boundary between being helpful and being controlling or superior.
In this episode, I share three elements of truly helpful behavior...the trademarks of the True Spirit of Helpfulness.
Did this episode resonate with you? Would you like to dive deeper into something you heard here? Schedule your free 30-minute session with me here.
Have you ever caught yourself asking your partner for permission to do something? Or have you found yourself trying to convince them to see something your way so that they will go along with your plan? Maybe you’ve received some feedback that paints you in a negative light and you’re catching yourself ruminating over whether or not the feedback is warranted and how to get that person back on your side. These are all signs that you’re seeking validation, and these behaviors can get in the way of your ability to connect and communicate effectively.
It’s such an interesting paradox how validation is such a connecting force in our relationships while seeking validation creates so much disconnection.
The best antidote for the disconnection created by seeking validation is to practice self-validation. I teach my clients a three-step exercise for self-validating.
- Acknowledge - Name what you are feeling
- Allow - Remind yourself that it's OK to feel any emotion
- Understand - Create a context that explains what you are feeling
As you move through the practice of self-validation, you'll often find that nothing else needs to be done. And, when there is a problem to be solved, you'll have a more open and helpful perspective for collaboratively approaching the problem. If seeking validation is keeping you from connecting more meaningfully, you can get my help here with a free 30-minute session
Do you struggle to give feedback, even when your feedback could help someone address an important issue? Or, is it harder to receive feedback...especially when that feedback isn't given in a careful and considerate way?
If giving and receiving feedback is a struggle for you and you'd like some support, you can get my help here with a free 30-minute session.
Women often have a lot on their plates. Too much most of the time. And often, it feels like a losing battle to ask for some help. In this episode, I share four do's and don'ts for creating a more balanced and supportive relationship. If you'd like some help implementing these tips, schedule your free introductory call with Sharon here.
Sometimes the communication dynamics that we grew up with are so familiar to us that we don't recognize how unhealthy they are. One of these dynamics is what I call "should-ing." You can tell that you're "should-ing" on someone when you've already thought of several reasons why this person "should" believe or behave the way that you do before you start a conversation with them.
If you feel like you might be “should-ing” on people when you’re trying to resolve something that’s bugging you and you’d like some help untangling that dynamic, you can get my help here with a free 30-minute session.
I started hearing people use the word “surrender” a couple of years ago and I thought to myself, who wants that? I see myself as a confident and assertive woman and surrender feels weak and disempowering.
For a while, I’ve been thinking there must be something that I’m missing here. Because people I really respect are finding value in surrender…so what is it?
Listen to this short episode on the differences between control and surrender to learn just how empowering it can be to let go and trust the process.
Want some help with a challenge you're currently facing in your relationship? Book your free strategy call here.
So often, we feel stuck before we even have the conversation because we’re trying to figure out the right words to say. But saying the right words isn’t what makes a conversation go smoothly. It’s more about what’s beneath the words we say that really matters. Listen to this episode to learn what three things are most likely to cause you communication problems and what you can do instead. If you’d like more help learning how to navigate some of your hot-button issues more smoothly, you can get my help here with a free 30-minute session.
Are you always running short on time? Do your priorities always seem to take a back seat to everyone else? Listen to this episode to learn three important lessons from those who master time management.
You'll learn three questions you can ask yourself to get the insight you need to take back control of your time.
We're trying out a new "Five Minute Friday" series and this is our first episode.
Today I'm sharing some insights and experiences with asking for what you want. So often - too often - we give up or get frustrated when we aren't getting what we need.
That doesn't have to be the case. I'm helping my kids and my clients learn how to be both patient and persistent in asking for what they want.
Is this something that you'd like some help with? Schedule your free 30-minute call and let's get this figured out for you!
Mario and I started meeting with Sara Thingvold at the beginning of the year to create our couple & family portrait. In this episode of the podcast, Mario and I share our portrait, what our experiences were creating the portrait, and how this guiding document has already helped us move through some previously sticky situations more gracefully.
I shared the image of our family portrait on social media a couple of weeks ago and I’ve already gotten a lot of questions about how you can do a portrait for yourself.
Whether you’re single and contemplating a future relationship, just want to get clear on your own vision, purpose and values, or are in a long term relationship and want to work on your couples portrait, Sara can help. Get in touch with Sara at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-55
A family portrait - as described in this episode of the podcast - is a tool for determining the shared vision, values, dreams, goals, and purpose of your family relationships. “Envisioning with the end in mind and leaving a legacy we are proud of is really what a family portrait is all about,” Sara says.
Four outcomes that a portrait can bring for a couple is increased: * self-awareness and awareness of your partner * clarity of roles and personal responsibility in the relationship * commitment to the relationship * peace, harmony & joy in the relationship
In Part 2 of this two-part series, Sharon & Mario share their family portrait and their experience creating the portrait. Get the full show notes and links to resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-54
If bringing up a need or making a request feels hard and heavy, listen to Nathan Schechter describe how the simple formula for Non-Violent Communication (NVC for short) can help you navigate both the emotion and logic of any conversation. NVC is an approach to communication, based on principles of nonviolence. It is not a technique to end disagreements, but rather a method designed to increase empathy and improve the quality of life of those who utilize the method and the people around them.
The four main components of NVC are OFNR:
- Observe without judging
- Express feelings
- Share your needs
- Make a request
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned here: https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-53
I have an ongoing fantasy where my partner does something that bugs me, I calmly tell him, "That was lame" and he looks at me and says, "You're absolutely right! I understand why you feel that way. I can't believe I didn't realize that."
And if you're like most of us, you realize that my communication fantasy is about as unrealistic as most other fantasies we have for love and romance.
Addressing bad behavior can be tricky, but if you follow the three rules I share in this episode you can avoid the biggest land mines in most hard conversations.
Get the full show notes and resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-52
This episode is part 2 of a two-part series on the differences between complementarian and egalitarian marriages. I invited Bruce Pagano to come back on the podcast and talk about an idea that is prevalent both within religious communities and in everyday life - the idea that men and women are better suited to specific roles within a relationship and within communities. Often these beliefs aren't so clearly stated, but they manifest in the way that men fail to accept the influence of their spouses, don't give the same respect to their female peers and managers at work, and act in ways that prioritize their needs and experiences.
Bruce and I talk about our own experiences in our relationships and the conflicts that arise when couples are playing a role rather than embracing their strengths.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-49
Most of us enter relationships knowing less about what we want in a relationship than we know about what we want in a house, a job, or a car.
In this episode, I share an analogy for relationship growth and a few tips for creating a clearer, more compelling vision for your relationships:
- Identify a relationship to focus on.
- What do you like about it?
- What do you want to be different?
- How will these changes make you feel - what feelings are you looking for in this relationship?
- Choose three words to describe the feelings you want and describe each one in detail.
- Decide who you need to be to initiate these changes in your relationship.
Giving someone a clear definition of what you want make it so much easier for them to fulfill your requests...especially if you invite them to do the same!
Get the free Relationship Vision Worksheet here.
Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-50
This episode is part 1 of a two-part series on the differences between complementarian and egalitarian marriages.
I invited Bruce Pagano to come back on the podcast and talk about an idea that is prevalent both within religious communities and in everyday life - the idea that men and women are better suited to specific roles within a relationship and within communities.
Often these beliefs aren't so clearly stated, but they manifest in the way that men fail to accept the influence of their spouses, don't give the same respect to their female peers and managers at work, and act in ways that prioritize their needs and experiences.
Bruce and I talk about our own experiences in our relationships and the conflicts that arise when couples are playing a role rather than embracing their strengths.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-49
Liz Solar and I share a conversation about the power of slowing down and taking time to understand each other, giving second chances, being curious, and not letting disagreements ruin our relationships.
Get the full show notes and links to resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-48.
Bad habits creep into the best of relationships from time to time. What if you treated these red-flag moments like an opportunity to "re-calibrate" instead of getting stuck in resentment, frustration, and blame?
According to Dr. John Gottman, these are the six most common signs that a relationship is headed for trouble. 1. Harsh Start-ups: When one or both individuals bring things up in a negative or critical way 2. The Four Horsemen: When interactions are filled with criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling 3. Emotional Flooding: When disagreements lead to a feeling of emotional overwhelm 4. Physiological Stress: When one or both individuals are physically stressed around each other (emotional flooding is constant) 5. Failed Repair Attempts: When it's difficult to de-escalate conflict and restore peace and connection 6. Rewriting the Past with Bad Memories: When all your memories of earlier times are cast in a negative light
Not all relationships are headed for destruction if these signs of trouble are present. Some couples simply choose to emotionally detach from each other and lead parallel lives. And some couples are able to recognize they have gone off course and find ways to reconnect and get back on track.
Getting back on track doesn't have to be hard or painful, but it does take a commitment to prioritizing your relationship and learning new ways to connect and communicate. Workshops, like the Happy Couples Workshop happening in January, are a great way to get started and decide what to do next.
Sign up for the Truth About Happy Couples Workshop at keeptalkingrevolution.com/happycouplesworkshop.
Has your view of what makes a happy relationship changed with experience? What if you're focused on making your relationship better and you feel like nothing is changing, or things are even getting worse?
If you focus on:
- Correcting your partner's character flaws
- Creating more shared activities, and
- Doing conflict the "right way"
at the expense of embracing the fact that two imperfect people can have a perfectly happy relationship, you'll find yourself stuck in unnecessary frustration and discouragement.
Learn what really makes relationships tick so you can focus your efforts where it counts.
Why do men avoid relationships in favor of video games?
Our guest, Chris Marhefka, shares some insights into the masculine brain and how women can motivate and inspire their male partners to engage in their relationships instead of disappearing to play video games or other “zoned out” activities.
Taking a deep look at ourselves when we're already in pain in our relationships is hard, courageous, and it can be just what we need to flip the switch in our relationships.
"Playing to Win" means giving our partner a chance to be victorious, to feel valued, appreciated, and acknowledged. When you "play to win" you clearly communicate what you want from him and where he is doing a good job.
Without a little help, our guest Dr. Tom Murray proposes that we lose our lust for our partner twice as quickly as we lose our like for our partner. In Dr. John Gottman’s work, a huge focus is placed on friendship and fondness for one another. But Dr. Murray suggests that friendship and healthy intimacy don’t always go hand in hand.
Listen to this episode for new insights and perspectives on how to keep the spark in your relationship so that you avoid the “beach effect” that happens with too much familiarity and too little novelty.
Get the full show notes and resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-44/
Can a relationship recover from infidelity? Our guest Dr. John Fite says, “It depends.”
Like most things in a relationship, there are forces outside our control. But don’t give up too quickly because there are proven tools for making a marriage or committed relationship even better after a significant betrayal such as infidelity.
In this episode, Dr. John Fite talks about what each partner has to lose when they take a chance at repairing their relationship and how Gottman’s method of atone, attach, atune can be used to repair and strengthen a relationship that has been harmed by betrayal.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-43
What is the purpose and meaning of your relationship? In the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - Gottman finishes the seven principles with the principles of Creating Shared Meaning.
There are four pillars described in the Seven Principles Book: 1. Rituals of Connection 2. Support for Each Other's Roles 3. Shared Goals 4. Shared Values and Symbols
Our guest, Alicia Montemurro, explains so well how creating shared meaning is an important component of our well-being both as individuals and within our relationships.
Listen to episode 41 of the Keep Talking Revolution podcast to learn: * Two components of meaning and their benefits * Five benefits of living with purpose * How you can create and support the roles you play in your relationship beyond a prescribed gender role orientation * Why tension builds when there are conflicting views over values, goals, and goals and how to achieve more unity and harmony
What do you do when the same problem keeps coming up over and over again in your relationship? This is a sign that you are either headed toward gridlock or you are already there.
Whether or not you’re in full gridlock, there are some helpful tools for dealing with the perpetual conflicts that come up in every relationship. So while you can’t necessarily stop your mother-in-law from dropping by unannounced and spoiling the grandkids with unwanted treats and gifts, you can come to a place where you and your partner have each other’s backs and understand why things that feel like no big deal to you really matter to them.
Rules of Engagement for Healthy Conversation about Unsolvable Differences:
- Don’t start a sentence with the word “you” (use "I" statements in conflict and in everyday language)
- Reflect back to your partner using their own words so you can tune in to what’s going on for them
- Look for cues pointing to what dreams aren’t being met (e.g. sense of freedom,
- Know your partner's backstory
- Keep your focus on the long-term success of the relationship
--
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-41
Every couple has irreconcilable differences in their relationship. Often these issues are avoided or result in frequent arguments and disagreements.
In this episode, Janika Veasley joins us to talk about managing perpetual conflict without sweeping things under the rug or constantly caving to your partner’s preferences and perspectives. We discuss the nuances of compromise and the difference between agreeing to disagree and putting a band aid on our differences.
To constructively address any perpetual conflict, you need to first understand its cause. Under every gridlocked issue is a dream or hope that is unfulfilled. Uncovering the dreams within a conflict is a very effective way to create more understanding and less friction in your relationships.
Listen to the episode to hear how you can find the dream within a conflict and other great tips for disagreeing without losing your friendship.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-40
Even though most relational conflict is perpetual (69% according to Gottman’s research). There are times when problems can be solved and you can move on.
In this episode of Keep Talking Revolution, Josh Greep joins me to talk about recognizing solvable conflict and some tools to use for effective problem-solving.
The skills that work are:
- A softened startup – complain but don’t blame
- Making and receiving repair attempts – quickly get the conversation back on track
- Soothing yourself and each other – recognize and respond when flooding happens
- Compromising – yield without giving up your core needs
- Processing grievances so they don’t linger – fight fair & seek understanding
Want to address conflict over household responsibilities without sacrificing your friendship? Get the free guide to learn why most approaches to resolving this conflict don't work and what to do instead here: https://keeptalkingrevolution.com/getpromotingpartnership
Get the full show notes and resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-39
Not all relationship conflict can be resolved and when that becomes the goal, your relationship is headed to conflict gridlock.
In this episode, we talk with Gottman Therapist Laura Silverstein about two kinds of relationship conflict. Some conflict can be resolved, and some problems are perpetual. For perpetual problems, the skill of managing conflict with openness and curiosity is your key to maintaining trust and intimacy.
This episode is an overview of the different types of conflict. For more tips and strategies on managing conflict, stay tuned for the upcoming episodes.
Laura wants to remind the audience that working on your relationship doesn’t need to be hard. Make sure to keep things fun by spending time together, keeping it fresh, and taking care of the fun in your relationship. Get her free 52 dates workbook on her website.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-38
When you approach your partner with a need, do they respond openly or do they close off?
This week’s guest Dianne Presley joins me to talk about sharing needs in a way that invites collaboration instead of competition. She uses the CPR formula for sharing a need:
- C – Compliment
- P – State the Problem
- R – Make a Request
Sometimes these formulas don’t work because:
- Compliments are only given when a request is soon to follow
- Problems are shared with more blame and less personal responsibility
- Requests are rigid and demanding instead of open and exploratory, or
- All the baggage of past hurts and emotions doesn’t have time to air out before you expect a big change
Listen in to learn how sharing your needs really can be inviting and collaborative, even if it takes a while to create new patterns and habits of communication in your relationship.
Who gets the final say when you and your partner disagree?
In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Gottman calls the ability to discuss and decide as a team “Accepting Influence.”
Bruce Pagano joins me on this episode to share his personal experience navigating this issue as well as his professional insights as a couples therapist. Bruce shares, “For me, I had to really learn to just be quiet and listen to what she was saying without trying to fix things. And then she had to learn to speak up.”
Whether you need to work on your listening and willingness to be influenced or you need to work on speaking up and offering influence you’ll find some great insights for you and your relationship in this episode.
Connect with our guest Bruce Pagano II
Website: Growing Hope Counseling
Facebook: brucepagano2
Instagram: @bpags2 and @growing.hope.counseling
TikTok: @bpags2
Twitter: @bpags2
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-36
In satisfying relationships, people look for ways to connect with each other all the time. Gottman calls this a bid for connection.
Sometimes bids are obvious, like reaching out to hold hands, and other times they may be so subtle that they aren’t even recognized as an attempt to connect. When a bid to connect is received, one can acknowledge the bid and turn toward the bidder, turn away, or turn against. Turning toward, even in small ways, builds a deep connection over time.
In this week’s episode, Mandy Mitchell joins me to talk about what it means to turn toward each other and how to recognize your partner’s bids for connection – even when they are masked with negativity.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-35
We can mentally rehearse positive things about our partner’s qualities or we can rehearse annoying, irritating, and negative things about their personality. Choosing to find and focus on what you like and admire about your partner is the key to nurturing affection and closeness in your relationship.
In this week’s episode, Estrella Rogers (aka “Miss Star”) and I talk about why it’s so important to nurture fondness and admiration for your partner and a few tips for getting started.
Estrella’s first question is always, “Tell me about when you first started your relationship.”
Make sure you follow Estrella on Instagram for her “Make them Smile Monday” prompts to continue the habit of nurturing fondness & admiration.
Connect with our guest Estrella Rogers and get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-34
The foundation of a relationship is friendship. Gottman’s Principle “Enhance Your Love Map” is basically an ongoing effort to know your partner and get a glimpse into their inner world. Using the map analogy, some people only have a very general understanding of another person. They know the basics, but not the details. As you get to know your partner more deeply you will each feel more valued, appreciated, and cared about.
This week on the podcast, Sara Thingvold joins me to talk about getting to know your partner better through asking open-ended questions and having “agenda-free” conversations.
Great practices for asking open-ended questions:
- Get permission – “Would you be willing to have a conversation right now?” Asking an open-ended question when your partner is distracted, upset, or not present can lead to disappointment.
- Use a great lead into an open conversation. Share your responses to open your partner up. “Can you tell me about…?”
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Give your partner permission not to respond
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Take time to tune into yourself, your feelings and your opinions so that you can become more tuned into your partner
- It gets easier with practice. Give yourself permission to be messy.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-33
Most of us try and resolve conflict in the worst possible moment – when emotion is high and cognition is low.
This high emotion, low cognition state is defined by Gottman as flooding. When either partner is flooded, staying in the conversation will only escalate the conflict.
This week on the podcast, Julie Benoit joins me to talk about flooding and what makes us vulnerable to flooding. Listen to this episode to learn:
- What flooding is and how to recognize it.
- What to do when either of you is flooded.
- How to proactively prevent flooding so you can have more productive communication when the potential for conflict is high.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-32
Brooke Rasmussen, a fellow Gottman Educator and mother of 7 is on the podcast this week to talk about the Four Horsemen, the four most common attitudes and behaviors that harm relationships.
These horsemen show up even in healthy relationships, but when you’re struggling the Four Horsemen seem to take over:
- Criticism – when a complaint becomes a personal attack on your partner
- Contempt – when you take a position of moral superiority over your partner
- Defensiveness – using excuses, a victim position, or reversing blame to get your partner to back off
- Stonewalling – avoiding your partner by tuning out, turning away, or acting busy
The good news is there is an effective antidote to each bad habit:
- Replace criticism with a soft startup – talking about your feelings using “I” statements and expressing a positive need.
- Replace contempt with gratitude – remind yourself of your partner’s positive qualities and find gratitude for positive actions.
- Replace defensiveness with taking responsibility – accept your partner’s perspective and offer an apology for any wrongdoing.
- Replace stonewalling with self-soothing – take a healthy break and spend that time soothing your emotions.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-31
According to Dr. John Gottman, most relationship therapy fails because the therapy is focused solely on helping a couple improve their communication, using a commonly accepted communication technique called active listening.
Since Mario and I have seen so many therapists (ahem...at least 6) in our 9-year marriage, we feel particularly qualified to take on these 7 marriage myths that Gottman has debunked.
Listen to our conversation about these 7 common relationship myths:
- Personality problems ruin relationships
- Common interests keep you together
- You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours (aka "the fairness trap")
- Avoiding conflict will ruin your relationship
- Affairs are the root cause of divorce
- Men are not biologically 'built' for monogamy
- Men and women are from different planets
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-30
A review of the first 6 months of podcasting here at the Keep Talking Revolution.
What's happened since the podcast was launched and what is coming up?
Looking back:
- I started working with my first private couples clients. Now that the nervousness has faded, I'm seeing that coaching couples is not so different than coaching individuals.
- I re-launched community calls. I love connecting with women in small groups to support one another in our challenges and celebrate each success story.
- I participated in the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work leader training and can now present couples programs with the curriculum provided by the Gottman Institute.
What I've learned:
- Becoming a relationship & communication coach is the best thing that has happened to me and my relationships.
- I like to do many things - trying to focus on just one project or priority is suffocating to me.
What's coming up:
- I'm going to start offering couples courses and programs based on the 7 Principles programs.
- I'm re-evaluating how I show up on social media - where and what I share. I'm not sure if I'll continue the Keep Talking Facebook Community or stay as active on Instagram. Let me know what you think!
- I'm starting a new series on the podcast - a collaboration with other Gottman professionals on what makes relationships work. We'll talk about various concepts and perspectives from each part of the book.
Drama is great for TV, but it wreaks havoc on relationships.
In this week's episode, I share three common roles we play in a drama dynamic and what you can do to ditch the drama and create more loving partnerships.
It all starts with vulnerability.
As Brene Brown says, "Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome."
When you can't control the outcome, there are still three things that you can control to keep drama at bay:
- Your story
- Your response
- Your follow-up
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-28
Have you ever opened up about something you were struggling with only to find out that everyone else was feeling the same?
The funny thing about human nature is that we don’t often realize just how normal the things we don’t talk about are.
In this episode, I share six things that are challenging, but VERY NORMAL in romantic relationships.
- It’s normal to react negatively when you feel threatened…and to think that your response is justified while your partner’s is not.
- It’s normal for one person in a relationship to bring up most of the issues (and usually it’s the woman in a heterosexual couple).
- It’s normal to feel uncomfortable, even when you’re on the right track.
- It’s normal to feel the tug of war between a need for independence/autonomy and a need for connection/intimacy.
- It’s normal to have issues that never seem to be resolved.
- It’s normal to need help when you’re stuck.
NOTE: This episode does not apply to abuse of any kind. If you suspect you or someone close to you is a victim of domestic abuse, call the US national hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).
You can’t partner and parent at the same time.
In this episode, I talk with Daniel Adams – the premiere relationship coach in the marketplace for connective sex, fulfilling intimacy, doubling your revenue, and most importantly growing creative confidence.
We talk about why it’s so easy to fall into a mother/little boy dynamic with your partner, the disconnecting impact that this has on relationships, and how to shed the pattern and shift into a connecting and intimate partnership.
How to shift the dynamic away from mothering and into connected partnership:
- Notice the dynamic is happening
- Tell the truth (about what you see, feel and desire)
- Get comfortable with emotion
- Come from a shared vision
Do you recognize this dynamic in your relationship? What are you ready to do to change it?
Resources Mentioned:
Keep Talking Workbook – http://keeptalkingframework.com
Join the free Facebook Community – https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-26
Bringing up disappointments, missed expectations, and unmet needs is hard for nearly all of us. But for some relationships, it’s almost impossible. In this week’s episode, I share a few tips for getting more cooperation and agreement when it’s time to bring up these tough topics.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-25
Bringing up disappointments, missed expectations, and unmet needs is hard for nearly all of us. But for some relationships, it’s almost impossible. In this week’s episode, I share a few tips for getting more cooperation and agreement when it’s time to bring up these tough topics.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-25
What's the self-talk in your head? If you go to a mirror and speak out loud the same words to yourself, is it something you would repeat to someone else?
About 5 1/2 years ago, Dr. Lori Monaco hit rock bottom at 46 years old. She had to restart financially, personally, and in her career. At one point, she considered suicide.
She decided that her life was worth living and started to work on herself and learn about herself. As she changed the way she spoke to herself, her new relationship with herself reflected in how she communicated with others.
Now Lori starts coaching her clients by having them list out what they like, love, dislike, and hate about themselves. Then, she guides them on a journey of learning to love themselves and change the things they aren't happy about.
Lori's tips for your self-love journey:
- Practice everyday mindfulness to create more self-awareness
- Accept the parts of you that you don't like and work on improving them
- Smile and laugh
- Seek out eye contact in your day to day interactions
- Reflect on the feedback you are receiving from others
- Trust that all will be as it should be
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-24
What happens when a tiny disagreement or misunderstanding turns into a huge fight? Usually, at least one of you is assuming the worst of the other. It’s easy for this to happen in our close relationships because our history is long and deep.
If you assume negative intent, your focus is on fixing the person instead of the problem. There is a victim/villain story playing out and the best you can get is a win/lose outcome. If however, you assume positive intent you can focus on fixing the problem instead of the person, and your chances of creating a win/win outcome are maximized.
In this episode, Sharon shares 5 tips for breaking the habit of assuming negative intent:
- Remind yourself what it feels like to be criticized when you’re doing your best
- Ask rather than assume
- Learn how to filter facts from interpretations
- Create opportunities for no-agenda connection
- Be patient as you create new relationship dynamics
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-23
When Celia was in college she started to recognize the ways that she was apologizing for taking up space. She started an experiment where she decided to stop apologizing.
This isn’t a story about failing to acknowledge our faults and shortcomings. It’s a story of empowering ourselves and our relationships with more intentional communication.
Celia shares – What happens when we say sorry, what to say instead, and how to implement your own “no apology” experiment.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-22
Do you own your wants and needs and ask for them directly, or do you spend a lot of time trying to earn the care that you need by being everything to everyone? In this episode, Sharon shares how she made the transition from trying to earn the care she needed, to openly sharing her wants and needs.
Sharon shares a simple phrase that can be used when expressing your needs to avoid the habit of trying to earn support or justify your point of view.
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at sharoncostanzo.com/ep-21
This week’s guest on the podcast is Margot Zaher.
Margot came on the podcast to share her tips for having more empowered conversations.
Get in touch with Margot Zaher!
Margot’s Website - https://MargotZaher.com
Relationship Reset Bootcamp - https://www.margotzaher.com/program
Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-20
Hard conversations are rarely resolved in a single event. When you have a linear approach to communicating, it can be very frustrating when those blow-up, suck it up, or walk away moments happen.
However, when you follow the 5 parts of the Keep Talking Framework, you have all the time you need to correct misunderstandings, think through unexpected responses, and continue along a productive path.
The five parts of the framework are:
- Initiate: Start with sharing what you want to communicate and what you want the outcome to be.
- Pause: If your Conversation Kryptonite creeps in, take a healthy pause to calm your emotions (or allow your partner to calm down) so that you can continue when problem-solving is more likely.
- Repair: Get clear on your part in the communication breakdown. Create space for your partner to own his part.
- Resume: Once misunderstandings and communication breakdowns have been repaired, resume a healthy discussion about the original topic.
- Resolve: Reach your conversation objective in a way that both partners feel seen & heard.
Get a jumpstart on using this framework by purchasing the Keep Talking Workbook.
Find the resources mentioned and get full shownotes at https://sharoncostanzo.com/ep-19/
Before you start a win/win conversation, you need to know who your partner is and why he is responding the way he does. Or at least be open to considering that the story you're telling yourself might not be true.
Why is it so easy to skip this step?
As human beings, we are wired to protect ourselves and our views, even at the expense of our relationships.
When you approach a conversation with judgment or an unflattering view of your partner, you are almost guaranteed to fall into a dead-end trap and be disappointed with the outcome.
I first learned this principle when I ran a math tutoring center and I helped hundreds of students who struggled in school not only catch up and gain confidence in math, but also completely transform from difficult kids with behavior problems to cooperative and enthusiastic learners.
The same concept of seeing someone for who they are and accepting where they are right now applies to every relationship and can completely transform the relationship you have with your partner.
This episode is part 2 of the three-step process I teach my clients in my 1:1 coaching program. You can solve problems, communicate more effectively, AND feel closer to your partner when you follow the steps outlined in this mini-series.
LET'S CONNECT:
Discover your Conversation Kryptonite
Join the Keep Talking Community
Schedule a free Strategy Session
It's common to try and solve problems and communicate without first getting to know exactly what we want to communicate and why. This leads to confusion and resistance from our partner.
In this episode we talk about:
- Why it can be so hard for women to turn inward and reflect on what they want and need.
- Why it's essential to reflect on what you want and don't want and why.
- How to get a clearer picture of what it is that you do want so you can be clear and confident.
You can solve problems, communicate more effectively, AND feel closer to your partner when you follow the steps outlined in this mini-series.
Listen to learn what it means to communicate for a win-win.
LET'S CONNECT:
Discover your Conversation Kryptonite
Join the Keep Talking Community
Schedule a free Strategy Session
Looking for some advice to improve a situation in your relationship? Most people will tell you:
- You have to get mad. No one listens until you lose it and let them know you're serious.
- Just tolerate it. This is what marriage is and this is how men are.
- Time to look for another man. Your relationship is obviously broken beyond repair.
All of this advice is BS. You can solve problems, communicate more effectively, AND feel closer to your partner when you follow the steps outlined in this mini-series.
This episode is an outline of the three-part process I teach all my 1:1 clients. Listen to learn what it means to communicate for a win-win.
LET'S CONNECT:
Discover your Conversation Kryptonite
Join the Keep Talking Community
Schedule a free Strategy Session
How to talk to your partner about sex, especially when you want something to change, starts with understanding yourself.
Dr. Melissa Ming Foynes shares great insights and tips for communicating with your partner about your sexual preferences.
- Do an inventory about what you want.
- Prioritize what's most important or what seems easiest to talk about.
- What do you want to result of the conversation to be?
Melissa also shares her perspective and some great advice for women who feel that they've been carrying the weight of the relationship on their own for far too long.
Get in touch with Melissa:
Free 4-part video series - The Science & Soul of Building Resilience: https://unique-trader-1040.ck.page/0a3a623dbd
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drfoynes/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-science-soul-of-living-well/id1545063811
Is it possible to talk about your sexual preferences and desires without being feeling awkward and uncomfortable?
Melissa Ming Foynes, a licensed psychologist and host of the Science & Soul of Living Well Podcast says it starts by looking inward and getting clear within ourselves about what we actually want sexually.
We discuss:
- The conditioning and high emotional charge that can create differences
- Common conflicts in couples
- Differentiating the goal of sexual intimacy to create more satisfaction
- Recognizing context that contributes to sexual function, and
- Effective communication related to sexual intimacy
Get in touch with Melissa:
Free 4-part video series - The Science & Soul of Building Resilience: https://unique-trader-1040.ck.page/0a3a623dbd
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drfoynes/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-science-soul-of-living-well/id1545063811
Most people don't fall into their dream home on the very first try. And most relationships take effort and intention to smooth out the rough spots and build a solid foundation of trust and affection.
Sharon shares 3 lessons she learned when choosing and remodeling a home that illustrates how a "dream relationship" really comes about.
- Decide what you want and what you can't live without (your "non-negotiables")
- Look around and figure out how to make something your own
- Keep your eye on the finish line and persevere through the challenges along the way
Connect with Keep Talking Revolution
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SharonCostanzoCoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
Website: http://keeptalkingrevolution.com
Sherry was a stay-at-home mom to 5 kids for over 20 years when she returned to full-time work. She shares some of the significant turning points in her relationship with her spouse and her relationship with herself as she learned to hear her inner voice, trust her personal authority, confront social norms, and create an equal partnership.
Sherry credits her transformation to understanding and advocating for her needs, diagnosing and treating her ADHD, and gaining confidence in herself and she became more of who she is.
A special guest this week! Sharon and Mario talk about their marriage history and what they had to work through to create a "got your back" kind of partnership.
Don't miss the free masterclass Sharon mentions at the end of the podcast. Go to keeptalkingkickstarter.com to register.
When it seems like your partner is making all the important decisions for your relationship. You don’t have the freedom you need to spend time on rest and leisure activities. And if you disagree on a financial decision, he gets the final say.
What can you do?
You can try and convince him that he is wrong and he needs to give you more power and autonomy, or you can shift your relationship from a permission-based dynamic to a relationship based on mutual support.
Sharon shares 4 keys to making this shift:
1 - Give yourself permission to decide how you want to spend your money and your time.
2 - Be creative about getting your needs met.
3 - Expand your circle of support.
4 - Create a mutual understanding that you won't always value or need the same things.
Schedule your free one-hour session at sharoncostanzo.com/strategy-session
Things can get better in your relationship when you learn and practice these three keys for managing defensiveness:
1 - Your thoughts, feelings, and needs are valid.
2 - His perspective is valid, even when you don't agree.
3 - You can find a win/win path forward.
LET'S CONNECT!
Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
Sharon talks with her childhood friend, Amanda Belshe, about marrying young, having a family, divorcing, and then remarrying a year later.
We talk about Amanda's mental health struggles, learning to take care of herself, and then reuniting her family.
Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
Sharon shares 3 ways that you can stop having the same argument over and over again.
1 - Define the pattern
2 - Remove barriers
3 - Envision a different future
LET'S CONNECT
Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
A conversation with Sharlee Glenn and Emily Taylor, members of the organization Mormon Women for Ethical Government (MWEG). They share how the organization started, how they created their foundational principles and guidelines, and what you can do to be a proactive creator of peace in your home, community, and government.
- Join MWEG https://www.mormonwomenforethicalgovernment.org/join-us
- Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
- Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
Sharon Talks with Erin Nielsen, a conflict resolution expert about new approaches to navigating political differences. Erin shares her views and expertise on:
- How people arrive at such different views.
- What to do instead of framing our differences from the lens of hero/villain.
- Why compromise doesn’t work in politics and what can be done instead.
- Choosing curiosity over criticism.
Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
Read Erin's articles
https://www.deseret.com/authors/erin-nielsen
Kara shares her perspective on overcoming her anger, being a force for change, inviting others to share their story, and creating collaborative solutions.
Find more funny, insightful, and heartfelt anecdotes from Kara at https://www.instagram.com/karawritesstuff/ and https://www.facebook.com/karawritesstuff
Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution
Sharon tells her story of learning to communicate more effectively with her husband.
Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
What do you do when you're tired of having the same conversation over and over again, but you really need things to change?
Sharon shares 3 tips to get past these dead-end conversations and start having more productive, collaborative discussions.
- Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
- Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/
What can I do when I don't get the response I want from my husband? A laser coaching session with Hanna where we get to the heart of her resistance to making suggestions or requests and asking for support.
- Join the Keep Talking Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/keeptalkingcommunity
- Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/keeptalkingrevolution/