Communication of a pathological nature- An epidemic
"I just blurted it out! It just came out unexpectedly."
Accompanied with shouting, inability to address the problem directly with the person, judgemental attitudes.
Walking on eggshells, saying yes instead of no or vice-versa, shutting down, repeating what someone said no to, saying things one cannot take back.
Instead of communicating with people, we hide behind texts to say the most challenging things.
When someone wishes to discuss in a relationship, we shut down, then get aggressive in future.
When we want to talk, it is now and it is pressure.
We then want the other person to accept how we communicate and if they leave, we become victims of their "discarding!"
Perhaps they did not feel safe. Because mother too used to shout at them, and they left home because of that.
Yet, if we can recognise that we are not in danger, we can sit with our Unmet needs, process how we feel and schedule a discussion.
What is the rush? Is there any rush to say or do something now? We can then let them choose what is best for them. Without repeating ourselves every Friday. Let them choose. We also need to choose whether this is what we want. The idea is to create a sense of safety around each other.
Blog post here
https://www.friendsabroadrelationshipschool.co.uk/post/when-communication-becomes-pathological