Yemoja Speaks: Recent Episodes
Shalonda Swanson
Hey Hey Hey, my name is Shalonda, your host. This podcast is about foster care and our experiences growing up in custody. We want to highlight success stories to give the next generation tips on how they can survive foster care and thrive after. I share my experience and advice for what I did and didn't do while giving the lessons that I learned. I look forward to interviewing foster youth, foster parents, caseworkers, and biological families to understand the full story so we all can understand how to work together to create a better system. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
Foster youth have resources that need to be discussed and Ohio Action and YAB is hosting its annual youth summit to discuss the resources. If you would like to attend please visit the website at --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Many times what holds us back is the belief that we aren’t worth it. We have been told that we aren’t good enough so we believe it and treat ourselves according to the thoughts of others. Don’t hold yourself back. You are worth it and you deserve it! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
You have rights and amazing perspectives to give. Listen to other foster youth and alum give their perspective and experience in foster care. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Unfortunately Darnell T. life was taken by his temporary foster mother February 2024. We are discussing his case. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
We want to be successful but sometimes the fear holds us back. We fear success, opinions, or failure but that doesn’t mean we cannot accomplish our goals. We can do it through the fear. Let’s talk about it. Follow me on Instagram @yemojaspeaks --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Many times we say we want the truth but honest can be hurtful and we want to resist it. I find myself resisting the truth when someone calls me out and holds me accountable. I want to become better but listening to my flaws is difficult. Let’s discuss it. Follow on Yemojaspeaks on IG. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
I deleted emotional regulation and uploaded affirming emotions in its place last week. If you haven’t listened to that episode please go listen. Bonus there is another episode being released today at noon. Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
As we recognize how we feel we are able to affirm that we have those emotions to work through them. I deleted my previous episode about emotional regulation but within this episode we discuss social situations that we can find ourselves in where we need to regulate our emotions by naming them, or biting our tongue in intense emotions. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Many of us have areas where we have been neglected by our caretakers but as we step into adulthood, we take on the responsibility to parent ourselves. I discuss 9 ways to start I. Your self-parenting journey. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
When we reach 18 years old we think we are grown and can do what grownups do. However, sometimes we aren’t prepared to really discipline ourselves like the adults have done. I talk about my experience with the adulting process. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Talking about the supportive circle that I had to create around me which being in foster care and how it helped and hurt me. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Being surrounded by--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
My parents decisions reflect their upbringing while mine reflect the endless possibilities because the overwhelming support given to me. We have moments in our lives that we can choose to take the advise from others or choose the same situations as our family. What is your decision? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
I don’t allow others to join in my quiet moments of reflecting but I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I invited someone to join me to reflect and plan our futures together. It turned out nice and it helps both of us to be accountable. Find someone to share your goals with so they can hold you to them. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Many times we don’t believe in our journey because we are too focused on others. I had to slow down and appreciate my journey and who I am becoming. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Silent tears poem. Sometimes our pain is what pushes us into our purpose. I have used writing as a way to express my pain and connect with others. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
Our mental houses are clutter while we look to find our missing shoe we thought we put in the closet. Organized chaos is a contradiction, attached to traumatic experiences. Diving deeper into my trama by addressing it by the name, my failed relationships with my siblings due to being in foster care. Being in foster care is traumatizing but not being able to share a connection with your family is more hurtful. Let’s talk about it. This episode is dedicated to Sharonda Swanson, my mother may she rest in peace. Nakupenda mama!
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Have you felt that you were being rejected by your biological and foster family? Maybe you felt like you didn’t fit in their square box because you are a circle. I have too but didn’t know how I felt about until I became an adult. Rejection hurts but should be acknowledged. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @yemojaspeaks
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When difficult times come what do you do? I find myself on the verge of giving up until I remember my purpose. I reflect over my journey and all of my decisions. While I do not make excuses for my choices I do understand that my decisions were made based on my emotions and limit information. As I think about my future I know that my past will always be there to remind me of my decisions. However, I will be emotional mature to conquer my future reactions to the choices of my past. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yemojaspeaks/support
When out physical environment is out of order our mental is usually in the same state. The first thing is to have a focus that is so strong that you don’t want to pull away from it. I had to clean my house and breathe to slow down. I needed to be still to find clarity. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
It requires us to look at ourselves in the mirror to be honest. We have allowed people to walk all over us but now we are taking our power back through reflecting. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
Foster parents post COVID is difficult. Many foster parents were concerned about transmission of the virus but now we are still facing an issue with limited foster parents signing up. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
The challenge of being a foster is rewarding. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
Did you know we can develop an emotional addiction? It is the emotional connection that we have with others knowing that the relationship is unhealthy but we stay because it is familiar. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
Emotional habits are unconsciously formed based on the freedom or restriction given to us. If our caretakers validated our feelings we develop healthy emotional habits, however, many times we need to learn it in adulthood. Follow us on social mediaYemoja Speaks InstagramYemoja Speaks Facebook--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yemojaspeaks/support
Too many times we hear about other people matching energy but we don’t hear how that might have gotten someone killed or harm. It might look cool but some people don’t stay at the same level they go to 100 real quick and expect to fight. Are you ready for a fight over something minor? Let talk about it.
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Hamjambo? Sijambo Leo!
It can be hard when we realize that our friend that we have known over 10 years is really a long-time acquaintance instead. An acquaintance is a person that we share a surface level relationship with but really don’t have trust in establishing a real relationship. I have realized how private I am which means that I don’t share much of my personal information anyways, however, the people that I have had around me for years should have more personal stories. Many of the people I have known for 10 years, we don’t know personal details about one another. I figured out that our friendship was not mutual the hard way and now I am figuring out what I should do next.
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Some people don’t care about what you are going through they only want to have access to you. Check to see if they are true or not. Do they tell you all the things wrong with you? Do they only talk to you when it is convenient for them? Do they not show up for you but want you to show up for them? Hmmmm 🤨 they are only there to use you.
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Poetry has helped me get through emotional traumas that I wanted to hold on to but have been able to release. Many of us find it hard to express our feelings in a traditional talking way but we use our art to express it all.
Art is not supposed to be understood by everyone, yet when people can relate we have find our tribe like us.
If you want me to figure your poem on Yemoja Speaks Podcast email it to yemojaspeaks@gmail.com
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Sharonda or Lolo as she was known as was my beautiful mother. Many people are surprised by me when they meet me and know my history of being in foster care but I give the award to my mother for the strong foundation she set for me. This is my open ended letter to my mother, thanks you for taking the pain so I could be free.
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“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” Neil Gailman, Coraline
What are your dragon?
Our dragons can be: toxic thinking habits, anxiety, procrastination, childhood trauma, emotional trauma, and relationship trauma. It is okay to cry to get through it. Although I have not tame all my dragons I am learning my emotions and how I can use them rather than them using me.
How do you tame your dragon?
- Know your emotions
- Know your goals and where you are heading
- Find balance through; mediation, writing, poetry, dance, sewing, etc.
If you liked this episode, let us know by leaving us a message or liking it.
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What to do daily for behavioral change
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We have all had questions about the process of becoming a foster and adoptive parent. As a former foster youth, I have questioned the process due to my personal experience and hearing the experience of my friends. I also see in the news where the system fails the child, so I wanted to understand how foster parents are screened. Join the conversation with Zina K, a foster parent recruiter for Pressley Ridge.
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Mental health discussion with Dr. Sonji Kenyatta, a licensed professional clinical counselor. Dr. Kenyatta practice cognitive behavioral talk therapy which means we do what we think. She has worked as a professional clinical counselor for well over 20 years and now has her own practice counseling individuals each day.
Therapy is becoming more popular in conversations because many of us understand the power of our trauma when used effectively. We discussed how some of us break the generational curses by bettering our lives, which impacts our relationships with family and friends. Join the conversation, how are your relationships impacted by you learning and healing?
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Mental health is important yet many times goes unnoticed until a major event occurs. It is equally important to listen to people around us when they think that something can be corrected about our behavior.
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We must look at the relationships that we have to understand if they are hindering or helping us to succeed.
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Our journey requires reflection and preparation. To prepare we must know what we have already done and what others have done so that we can try new attempts instead of repeating old habits.
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Being okay that I have overcome so much in our lives. I thank myself and you should too because you made it!
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Understanding how your dad impacted your emotional and mental well-being is important. Many people talk about daddy issues but don’t explain how their dad impacted them emotionally. I explain my complex relationship with my dad.
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I have been looking at my behaviors and journey so far. I have made many of mistakes but have come to realize that I share traits that my parents have or had that I want to get rid of. Some of the things that I do isn’t right and doesn’t make sense. Healing myself means that I must look at the behaviors that mom had and how I use them or release them. I know that some of my traits need to go but at least I was able to look at them.
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Have you been told that you were just like one of your parents? Yes many of us have been told that once in our lives. I told the time to do an overview of my parents and understand the qualities that I have too.
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Walk away from people who are intentionally triggering you and trying to bring you to their level. It prevents you from growing when you match the energy of others who aren’t aspiring to better themselves.
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What does vulnerability mean, and are you willing to be vulnerable to strengthen your connections? Vulnerability means that you are willing to be yourself by disclosing difficult things about you knowing that there is a possibility you could be hurt. Are you willing to be open and hurt or does being open come with fear and shame for you?
Research says people who are vulnerable live happier because they have deeper connections. Is it truth or worth it?
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Having great friendships, where we can truly be vulnerable and open is a blessing. We share great laugher and ideas. Although it is great to have wonderful friendships, sometimes boundaries get overlooked and lines gets blurred. We take this healthy friendship and want to deepen the relationship to being romantic. Growing up I didn’t see many healthy relationships, rather being platonic or romantic, so having them in my life means learning how to make lasting bonds. However, how do we navigate a friendship when someone develops romantic emotions ultimately complicating the relationship? Resources Follow us on social media Yemoja Speaks Instagram Yemoja Speaks Facebook
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I had to understand how I had healthy relationships in my past but could not see them because I could not recognize my struggles. I allowed my efforts to get in the way of how I showed up in relationships. My need for control hindered how I interacted with friends, which created complicated relationships from my side. I received an email from a fantastic friend explaining our relationship; however, I could not explain my side due to an unfortunate loss. This situation allowed me to think how important it is to be vulnerable with people that want to be supportive and open. It saddens me that I waited until it was too late to let go of old emotions. You must deal with old emotions to fix relationships before you miss the opportunity. Follow us on social media Yemoja Speaks Instagram Yemoja Speaks Facebook
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This sneak peak episode gives you insight to my poetry that helps me transmute my negative experiences into beautiful words that shed light on all of us.
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This episode we talk about how parents are controlling our lives. We discuss the signs of a controlling parent, what type of controlling tactics that are used and how it impacts the live of the children to grow up with a controlling parent.
Things to think about: Who do you think is controlling in your life? How does their controlling behavior make you feel? What can you do to minimize the control over you?
If you enjoy this podcast be sure to leave us a review or check out our social media and leave us a comment. Follow up on social media Yemoja Speaks Instagram Yemoja Speaks Facebook
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This week’s episode we discussed how goal setting is important. Usually people set their intentions when the new year begin but we all know that goals get accomplished all year. Don’t wait until the new year to become a better version of yourself or to see goals, set immediately. We know that sometime trying to accomplish a goal when we aren’t mentally strong enough to get out bed but making small goals are just as important.
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In this episode we discuss how relationships impact how we think about ourselves and overall our goals in life. Many of us want better for ourselves yet something, someone prevents us from accomplishing it. We listen to the discouraging words, hangout with friends too much, or spend too much time thinking about what other people are doing. We hinder our success by staying involved in relationships that do not help us get closer to success. Let us look at our actions and interactions with our friends and family to see if it helps or hinder us to attain the success we desire.
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We set goals for the year but when we accomplish them we don’t celebrate, however on the opposite end we are hard on ourselves when we don’t reach them. We must review our goals and how close we have come to achieving them so that we can reevaluate the plan. This is a causal conversation about me reviewing my goals from 2021.
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The new year is approaching soon. Are you ready to be renewed, or will you work from an old version yourself?
S.M.A.R.T goals are a way to help us be develop realistic goals that have dates and ways to measure how close you are to reaching them. Personally, I make goals for different areas of my life; financial, health, mental, business, personal development, family, etc.
You must understand what areas of your life you wish to improve and write down your goals to help you focus for the new year. Once you accomplish your goals the process starts all over.
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Foster youth age out at 18, after graduating high school or maybe 21, yet many of them don't have a transitional plan. Adulting is hard for anyone, but it could be more difficult to transition if you aren't taught how to shop, budget, maintain employment, fill out college applications, or even have a supportive team.
From different mentors to my high school guidance counselor, I had an excellent support team to help me understand my plan after graduating and being emancipated shortly after.
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Mentorship Programs
Mentoring.org
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Depression is a topic that has been getting a lot of attention lately. More people realize that mental health is important because it has the positional of turning our lives into an emotional roller coaster. This up and down emotional adventure can be caused by trauma inflicted by our family, friends or situations that we have been through. Join the conversation with Alexis Smith, founder of Talk It Out nonprofit organization.
The mission of Talk It Out is to help aged-out foster youth get connected to resources. This non-profit helps young adults transition into adulthood through understanding financial literacy, mental health and accountability.
Talk It Out works with community programs that helps young adults make a plan, enroll in school, childcare assistance, mental health, housing and more.
Donations
Collect a coat drive is to help young adults and homeless youth to stay warm this winter. We are collecting baby coat up to adult men size. You can contact alexis Smith via social media, email, or by phone; information listed below. As always we appreciate you listening and supporting.
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216-882-8768
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Resources
Better help.com
- helps to connect you with a trained professional
SAMHSA’s national hotline
1-800-662-4357
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I struggled with mild depression without knowing it until my mentor mentioned not being okay. I have been in therapy most of my life being in foster care so I setup an appointment to understand why I was feeling sad. In this podcast I break down the symptoms and give advice for treatment. It is okay not to be okay all the time but we must take ownership of our emotions. Yemoja Speaks is a program to help youth and young adults understand their trauma and actively heal through artistic expression. IG: yemojaspeaks FB: yemojaspeaks Resources: Better help.com - helps to connect you with a trained professional SAMHSA’s national hotline 1-800-662-4357
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It may look like we have everything held together nicely because we have busy lives, but sometimes we stay productive to hide the real issues. Sometimes we don’t want to face the problems but the reality is that we hide parts of ourselves so that we can accomplish things within our lives.
Mental health is important but also many of us don’t know how to deal with our own mental health let alone another person’s. We let our emotions build up until we explode, many times on the wrong person.
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I grew up not being taught how to properly handle my emotions. This caused me to suppress how I felt and push through situations to be successful. I realized that not knowing how to express how I felt. I still struggle with expressing myself but I am learning how important it is and how to ask for help when it comes to my mental health.
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This episode explains how foster youth are taken away from their families and put into a stranger home. This process of placement is unstable which makes youth highly anxious and scared. Usually, youth has no information about their new foster parent, not even their name or identity.
I was a 10 year girl not knowing the name of the stranger who would become my guardian. I was fortunate to have my brothers when I walked in the house late at night. However, I was still frighten by the unknown. There are many scared foster youth entering new homes and don’t even know the names of the people they must stay with. Imagine how foster youth feel if they don’t know their fate.
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Forgiveness is about our healing process rather than letting the other person off the hook. We often believe that forgiving a person means forgetting their past behavior or excuse it; however, that is not true. Forgiving others means we are letting go of the pain that was caused. We are permitting ourselves to live our lives without the guilt or pain of old situations.
I learned that I needed to forgive and set clear boundaries with people. My boundaries are a way to protect myself and to inform people their actions have consequences if they cross the line. I can remove myself from a relationship if it is unhealthy or someone violates me by not respecting my boundaries. If you struggle with forgiving someone, listen to this podcast about the process it takes to forgive, even when it comes to forgiving ourselves.
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Do you look at your current success as not being good enough because it not your ideal version of your success? We look at the success of others and believe that they have arrived while we are still in route. This cause us to feel defeated but I’m here to tell you that your ideal road of success is without faults while your reality bring lessons to learn and grow from. Your journey is unique so take time to understand how your decisions are shaping your reality of your success.
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Welcome to Yemoja Speaks Podcast, I am your your host Shalonda. This podcast is about the truth behind foster care. We share the stories both good and bad about the foster care system to help spread the word to the world about our challenges and how some of us overcome them. This episode is about how we, as foster youth can understand our worth. I explain how it took time to know my worth and ability instead of measuring myself to my family and their shortcomings. To be successful we must see it and surround ourselves with successful people who spoke life into us. I am happy to share how you can get connected with people that want to help you become YOU!
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We are discussing the toxic family relationships that we have and why we go back to toxic family after being taken away from them. We make decisions to go back to family members who were the cause of us being in foster care because we want to know where we came from and our identity but what happens when it isn’t what we thought? If you enjoy this podcast, please support us by sharing with youth in foster care, aged out, or caseworkers. We are accepting donations to get Heal Through Art program started for foster youth. You can make a donation at Donations-to-Yemoja-Speaks-Made Here. All donations will be used to buy supplies, support foster youth, and hire staff to keep the production going. Yemoja Speaks accepts to give job opportunities to foster youth. Thank you for supporting.
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This podcast is about understanding and denouncing fault for being placed into foster care. I was not placed in foster care because of what I did but as a result of what my parents and family have done or haven't done. Once we understand that being in foster care is not our fault we must then look at how we react it our situation. We have complete control over how we choose to behave as a result. As a former foster youth I take full responsibility for my actions, and looking back on them I acted a certain way as a result of how I felt. I was hurt and felt neglected and unwanted at times which made me act in ways that demanded attention.
As a community, we must look at behaviors as reactions to the emotional trauma. We must be forgiving to the youth, especially teenagers who aren't able to express their hurt or emotions due to the lack of trust. We must try to understand each other to better one another.
If you enjoy this podcast, please support us by sharing with youth in foster care, aged out, or caseworkers. We are accepting donations to get Heal Through Art program started for foster youth. You can make a donation at Donations-to-Yemoja-Speaks-Made Here. All donations will be used to buy supplies, support foster youth, and hire staff to keep the production going. Yemoja Speaks accepts to give job opportunities to foster youth. Thank you for supporting.
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Being in foster care has taught me that relationships matter. I discuss my experience with creating relationships with people helped me create opportunities for myself. As youth in foster care we are trying to figure out life without a manual but when we use the people who were sent in our lives to better us, we become who we were supposed to be.
I thank all the people who encouraged me, my mentors, my family, the community organizations, collaboratives, case workers, and community supporters. If it wasn’t for the people around me telling me the truth I could have made terrible decision that could have changed my life.
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Hi my name is Shalonda and I am a Social Media Strategist. I have been working with a nonprofit organization for a couple years now and thought that I really need to share my foster care story. This podcast is to share my experience and things that I did to make a smooth transition out of foster care. I want to create a community that share their success stories to strengthen the youth. We will discuss the programs that help foster youth all over the United States and interview different organization who are dedicated in changing the lives of foster youth.
I hope that you enjoy this podcast and I said that I would not edit it because I have always stopped myself from doing thing in the past due to wanting it to be prefect. Guess what, nothing is ever prefect so yes I know there will be mistakes in this podcast but going I really need to get it out NOW!
Thank you for listening.
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