It’s awards time. Dave Meltzer carried the torch for so many years, but the elders have ruled that he doesn’t look sloppy enough any more to be the voice of record. With this in mind, Karl and Michael have bravely stepped into the fold to give out the only recognition worth getting in wrestling these days.

Awards include:

Best disguise Grimmest appearance Woman of the year Most disappointing finishing move for a man with huge tits Best exploitation of an oft-terminal medical condition for crass financial gain Best 1920s odd couple tag team Best ad-libs Best enormous salmon-pink formal attire Worst creative Most enjoyable racist tag team or stable Sexual predator turned WWE colour commentator of the year Greatest disappointment Rob Van Dam Best economics Worst kind of currency Best standard Best Irish wrestling podcast Best call Best thing in WWE this year Best wrestler named for a rude adjective Most serious indie wrestling promotion with no jokes, just wrestling and lots of mean faces Professional wrestling promotion most lost in space and time Least fucks given And of course:

Promotion of the year PPV of the year Match of the year Wrestler of the year Along the way, we also take in the entire history of the ‘Big Gold Belt’ and whether WWE has the right to imply it carries the NWA’s title legacy, Vince McMahon’s inflatable suit, the entire TLC pay per view, communing with the spirit of Pat O’Connor through Irish alive-dead chat forums, the missed opportunity in not bringing shoot-almost-dead Jerry Lawler back as worked-dead Jerry Lawler, libertarian eschatology and how Japan is the great hope of this thing we do.

INCIDENTAL MUSIC:

Bushido, Fler & Kay One - Die Ganze Galaxie Gucci Mane - When I Was Water Whipping (Instrumental, prod. Lex Luger) TLC - No Scrubz Minutemen - #1 Hit Song E-40 feat. T-Pain - Serious Joe Esposito - You’re The Best Around (Prince Devitt’s theme)