Apparently now Google requires you to give them a lock of your hair before allowing you to file a DMCA fair-use counter-claim to a spurious content-ID rejection. "Build history as you grow: Once you have enough history, we'll automatically unlock features." Apparently my 14+ year old youtube channel has not yet reached 2 months of active use, according to the vibe-coded math of Google's robots.

Since, as you know, arguing with robots is something of a hobby of mine, I uploaded my traditional driver's license. You can't just "upload" it, of course, they require you to scan a QR code with a phone and take a photo from within the browser, for maximal tracking. So I used one of my burner phones for that. They say their response takes 24 hours, so presumably some dollar-a-day call-center gig worker in India is going to put eyeballs on it, so we'll see how that goes.

In case you're wondering what stupidity I'm up to this time:

Bonnie Tyler died last week, and so the glorious "Total Eclipse of the Heart, Literal Version" by Persephone Maewyn and dascottjr was making the rounds again, dodging takedowns. (This video is a textbook case of fair use, since not only is it a parody song, but the lyrics are direct commentary on the video itself, I mean come on.) Anyway all extant copies of it are shit quality, so I reconstructed it from the official HD video plus the "literal" audio, and re-built the subtitles by hand. Immediate takedown. I appealed. A week later, some intern or chatbot at BMG said "fuck you no". Now I'm trying to counter-claim.

Anyway, maybe someday you'll get to see this higher quality version of the video. It's still pretty funny. You can go request it on the DNA Pizza music video stream I guess.

Update: Oh no. Anyway

Date: Fri, 17 Jul 2026 02:28:12 -0700
Subject: Your YouTube ID verification was unsuccessful
From: YouTube youtube-noreply@google.com
To: jwz@jwz.org Your YouTube ID verification was unsuccessful

Your ID verification was denied

Google couldn't approve your ID verification. You can try again to get advanced YouTube features with your ID or video verification in 30 days. In the meantime, you can continue to build your channel history by uploading videos or live streams and following YouTube's Community Guidelines. After 30 days, this history may help you get access to advanced YouTube features. Learn more

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