Hunting down your BLACKBOX: Recent Episodes
Maria Lopez
We all want to have the “perfect” spiritual journey .. but in the spirit world we control zilch.. it’s ugly messy heart breaking & miraculous - we carry secrets hidden in a infinite universe we have no access to.. until the universe pushes us off a cliff..welcome to “the path” NOT
If you do plant medecines to heal trauma you get so much information about “the world” - the constant transformation of life - the dissolution of blockages - the truth of your fears - the limitations of apes - the world expands everywhere in your healing - as you heal the injury
Trauma fragments you - you’re shattered - in pieces - you need to be whole - in wholeness your power returns - you’re here again - that’s your healing
To heal you must be made whole - you you need to be accompanied into the dark by a force a light greater than the dark - the shattered pieces of you lit in the shadow - your fear dissolved - & your soul that goes returned
In trauma you have been evicted from home- from love - from divinity - the long arduous journey is to go home - whatever your vehicle slow or fast - it’s to get you home - to live to connection to divinity - it’s a journey from the dark to the light
Your trauma is not you - it’s a disfigurement - a shape that can be readjusted - cleansed but first you must meet with it before you get to your truth
You don’t get the Tesla after your healing - no - the gift is you - you value you - love you - connect to you - the lottery is the cleansing of all the trauma ‘ the reconnection to your soul - your authenticity - your wholeness .
In trauma there’s one “stuck” version of you - but there are many versions of you unfolding as you face each fear - each time you come head to head with a fear a wall is removed & a bigger version of you emerges - the plant world helps you remove the obstacles ..
Expect the unexpected if you’re healing from trauma - if you want it fixed completely it will be but not without paying the price of becoming someone new / are you willing to live without trauma?
You can’t see the trauma but you will - you’re immersed in the trauma & you can’t see it - but you will see all of it - like a zillion bacteria - you will see it all & then leave
No matter your trauma, you can heal & no it won’t be anything like you imagined - & you will ask for help - surrender, ask & let the universe take you on your healing journey - it might happen in other dimensions but you are not lost - just raw away from your true home
You think it’s an unseen trauma … but actually it’s always something sooo much bigger - it’s the battle between the light & the dark - love or no love - to release your child from its captivity you must return to the moment you were stolen & reclaim your power
You will heal - you just need to want it enough - to go into the dark - to rescue your child - to let the medecine heal you - on its schedule in its way - you won’t understand & it doesn’t matter - you don’t have to - you just need to surrender
You need to locate your child - yes - that’s the journey - they blacked out - shit down - disappeared - the journey is to go through the clutches of the trauma & find your child - therein the win
There are walls to get through to get to the prison of your trauma - the closer you get the more will rise - be scared keep going - you’ve trained for this with the medecine - you’re ready to be free
It’s ALL cooked together - you - the trauma - the predator - it’s all alive in a frothing sewer that’s ignited by fear - for it to be removed the medecine pulls you out - & cleanses the fueled sewer - no question it’s a sewer
If you decide to heal you will need to “leave” - collapse the blockage - “die” metaphorically - it’s a process - a long unknown mystery but it’s possible - you will return as “you” aligned with you - & then your journey begins
To heal trauma you must become the lotus flower - you need to dive into the dark to emerge resplendent - don’t turn away from the dark .. don’t numb - you’re nature - you can endure everything
We live in contradiction - we can do it easily but trauma is a monumental deceit & contradiction - to leave us an odyssey - a true journey of love
Trauma = blockage - freezing - a boulder in a teacup - it smothers everything - it’s dense energy - we are just energy either in the flow or not - you’ve been ambushed at the gates of life - but energy can be dissolved
You think a chip is the future ? That’s child’s play - the trauma revolution is the plant medecine revolution - it’s the most powerful technology available to heal trauma - if you’re stuck - you don’t have to be - the collective wants to make a buck - but trauma healing isn’t owned by apes - it’s directly connected to the true healers that get you to the trauma - but you have to enter that shadow
Healing with plant medecines is nature - you don’t have the answers or the schedule - but it’s happening - you will reach milestones until you finally meet the little sweetheart that got traumatized & reconnect ..
You’re the perfection of nature disfigured by trauma & then you’re perfect again - you just have to face the shadow .. you will re recreated returned to your perfection
It’s not the trauma that’s the damage - it’s the separation - the refusal of your life force - it’s an invasion - & accommodation of the dark - to heal you must see the process of the takeover & refuse it .
Of course you want to be on that yacht .. but you’re not .. you don’t believe you should .. perhaps you don’t deserve it .. your trauma is your spokesman .. your darkness festering .. you finally want out .. you finally acknowledge your in the sewer - that you been lost & then the healing begins
In trauma - you don’t exist - you have chosen the trauma over you - in this defrosting of the trauma you have chosen YOU - it’s painful, challenging - like an old creaking ship breaking apart - you will not play “a role” you’ll finally “show up”
Darkness can’t exist in the light - when the trauma happens it’s left in the dark - the light of the medecine & the love dismantles the “everything” of you & the voyage home becomes the expedition
You’re here .. stuck unstuck .. traumatized or not - it’s your path .. if you need to heal.. you will find your way out .. but never forget your nature you come from it - your trauma is an experience you heal it with “experience” trust the intelligence that lives within you .. & heal
You need to decipher & dismantle to release trauma - you’ve arrived .. helpless vulnerable - you’re counting on love .. you can’t count on those who you arrive to ..
Power goes hand in hands with fear - all fear no power - you’re a boat without an engine in a raging sea .. at the mercy of everything - to reclaim your trauma is to reclaim your power - fear eviscerates it..the aya returns it
Fear - it paralyzes - it’s a power to be reckoned with - a stealth bomber - a prisoner - how does your child overcome it? How do you understand it & leave - all possible in the aya world
You can’t avoid anything because all of you must be healed … how long how deep .. you won’t know if you’ve been blinded - the medecine if ata will extricate cleanse & put you in the car wash of her love
Trauma steals your spirit - your nature - you can’t deny it - but you have - in the healing with nature you are healing your spirit - the spirit of the plant heals your hijacked spirit - frozen by the dark
If there’s trauma - you’re a vault - in that vault lies the truth - the memory - everything oh but EVERYTHING is a defense system built to REFUSE that place that is too terrifying to open up - there’s only one journey into the depths - the dragon must surface
& then you face the first overwhelming wound - it will be the hardest moment of your life - & it will be in an altered state but it will be more difficult than this reality - you’re a rat in a lab being taken apart & you will know it ..keep sitting .. keep seeing & face the dragon - in its lair all wounds are healed
Nature is everywhere - we can’t see it’s magic it’s healing power it’s everything - unless we journey into it - it’s there where the ultimate healing can happen
Yes.. there’s only one place to look to heal inside - inside the vault of you - your a light body .. the aya aligns you & throws out the distorted energy .. it might be a few years but just be grateful she moved in
Your trauma if tricked is subtle sophisticated & sick., something is holding on because the subtlety of the trick is believed by the child - you are the heroine of your trauma & the victim - now you must leave
Meditation is awareness - the platform of awareness - rooting - with that tool you can sit through anything - see anything - you are the seeing - Niobe but the seeing - with that tool you can be completely dismantled & the poison or the dark exposed & expelled
You disappeared with the trauma.. that’s where your nuclear power is hiding.. you just got to go in..scared?? Absolutely .. going in Totally
The aya repairs you from top to toe … it replaces the broken parts - all navigational tools like a compass fixed - if you’re willing to sit in her emergency room she will put you back together like jump tu dumpty
Expose & expel is the raison d’etre of trauma - to dissolve it - you must see it - how are you going to see it if you’ve severed? By bringing in an ally … Aya is a great one
Your trauma has a root -an understanding -a character ..you need to u detest and all of it so you can separate the socks from the tshirt in the spin dry cycle - only then can true release happen
Don’t underestimate what you’re going into. It gets harder the closer u get to the origin of your wound - more entities will frighten you but you must persevere - it will frustrate you, frighten you challenge you .. but the diamond is not easily won - & that diamond is your soul - your exiled soul
Trauma is energetic imprinting that sinks deep into your system & holds you hostage - it’s energy - it’s dark - the medecine cleanses - locates the imprinting exposes and exodus’s its relentlessly - then reconnects you with the seed that got wiped out so it can blossom
If you ask for help it will show up & it will heal you .. but there’s no going back to who you were.. & you will have to face being the you you never knew wrapped in armor & that’s a whole other journey
Yes.. if there’s severe trauma you have to risk all of you to get ALL of you back - you will have to break with convention & challenge the collective - it’s just the nature of true conviction & will to heal - your oath is your reward !!
It’s your little munchkin you’re rescuing - your little trembling scared innocent little toddler .. child - it’s him/ her you need to connect with .. to do that you must overhaul the invaders
How do you know your healing? - the truth is bigger than the fear & yes you are feeling your truth - feeling the most difficult feelings that were always there but smothered & yes your healing
Evil is ether - trauma in childhood - a shutdown - an overwhelm - evil seeps into you - into your energetic bring & owns your - the aya is an ally in its removal & eviction
If you’ve been crippled by trauma you don’t need to stay in that state - that’s what the medecine of sta teaches you - she can heal that wound with her enormous love and attention - it doesn’t get anymore magical or powerful than this
Decode your whole system - beliefs emotions thinking ..trauma is a code .. Baked in childhood ..
No you’re not a number - you’re a piece of this incredible divinity - divinity that cannot be calculated in a lab - seek what heals you not what some guy in a lab coat decided - you are the intelligence of the universe - never limit yourself by the fear of a group - you can heal completely wherever that medecine comes from
No-one gets a cup for healing - the gift is the healing however you get there .. that’s the holy grail
You will be ready .. when? Who knows .. but you will be returned home - you just have to take the treacherous journey back .. & it is a journey .. with an ally .. your true guardian .. in this case the universe via the great ayahuasca
Listen.. even if you’re down the coal mine.. someone’s coming to get you .. listen .. & listen again for the call to your healing ..
If you’re Traumatized your camouflaged .. trust the dissolution ..& reach the site of the wound .. there all the trucks will be reveaked
You might not hear the pounding if the universe .. it might take your house collapsing to start .. the surfacing will not be immediate .. sewers & airbags take a while to build .. but all of it needs to be removed .. the closer you get home the bigger the threat .. hold onto your hollyhocks for the ride home .. truly HOME
These journeys are into the unknown.. healing happens in something we cannot know ., but to heal we must ask something bigger to intervene .. we must trust & surrender .. & eventually heal
To go home is to dissolve everything .. to face the moment your soul left .. to reínhabit your soul completely - the trauma is the blockage ..your soul is your breaker switch that needs to be turned on
Trauma is a captivity of your soul .. starved of love .. injured by dark energies .. you are frozen & deformed energetically .. the aya dissolves it all in a long arduous process of reconciliation with your soul
To love is to breathe .. to be loved is to blossom .. trauma is the absence of love - the Will to power is a loveless path .. to find the nectar & heal is to rediscover love - the universe is bathed in it
In the end you’re a tree.. a bird .. a human .. nature ..an aspect of this one thing .. trauma paralyzes and calcifies that spirit - the aya releases you back into the wild ., back to your true nature back to the cekebratiin of life
Cleansing is a journey - depending on the strength of the trauma .. it’s in the dark - unloved alone - the aya will shed a light love & then you will decide whether you will surrender to it - that in itself is an act of love - surrender to the medecine 💝💝
Your trauma heals in the light and in love .. the ayahuasca pours the heart of the universe onto your wounds if you’re willing to surrender
There is a home waiting for you - your trauma needs to be removed so you can go home - reconnected with love .. reconnected with you
To heal trauma is to face it .. to relive & see the truth .. I thought that was it.. but it isn’t - life doesn’t stop growing expanding .. it’s always urging growth .. & so the next phase begins .. without defense mechanisms or armor .. exposed vulnerable at one ..
Trauma is the refusal of you.. you’re in conflict with your divinity .. it lives buried in the dark owned by the forces of the dark.. your recovery is to vanquish the terror that keeps you imprisoned - & the complete return - that’s why the Aya is the navy seals of your return
You want home badly but don’t know where home is.. if you have trauma you’ve been kidnapped from home - love / care safety You - trauma steals you from love light & your rightful home..the ayahuasca digs your fossil of terror out & release last you back into the light
As you’re dissolved .. as the ice breaks so the sewage floods .. all the truth emerges .. energy is elastic ..injury fragments you into a million pieces .. the Aya puts you back together like humors dumpy - the odyssey is the challenge - the final seeing of your sacrifice to evil the release of you ..
Don’t fail yourself yourself..there’s a truth bigger than your trauma .. that’s your divine magnificent self .. you just need to discover it beyond the injury ..disentangle & live again connected to you
Seeing the trauma at a distance after the ayahuasca has healed you…you’re a helicopter leaving the scorched earth of trauma ..
It’s been written about over & over - trauma & healing - like anything in nature it’s messy - but here are a few simple steps to your healing - always follow nature - that’s who you are .. she will guide you if you’ve been lost - your devotion to yourself will bring you home -but accept the journey - not always linear or organized .. but always in the road yo healing
The showdown between you & your trauma is the return to you - you’re energy - trauma is blocked energy - no love - the energy can’t flow there - you’re in captivity & don’t even know it..the aya with her battalion of plants & love is there to release you . You have to want to - you have to take back your courage - the battle is between the light & the dark .. but you will surface triumphant if you’re willing to fight for you ..in the end it’s a closed energetic system that’s in flow - your release returns you to the river - you’re moved by love not terror
You can’t heal with words - the trauma is an event - to heal you need to relive the event - it’s blocked inside your system - the ayahuasca takes you back so you can remove the poison - if you don’t fix it it the poison leaks into your system ..
Trauma is a place - you have to be willing to return to the scene of the crime - it’s a long challenging journey - full of militia .. but the goal is that frozen place where you & the predator are frozen ..
In trauma u freeze - that frozen energy contains the information - u can’t feel it - the weapon of healing is awareness - the light - meditation allows the awareness to surface .. the ayahuasca brings her Shea stadium lighting into the dark - little by little you defrost & the darkness seen… thus healing happens
The deeper you go .. the more u see… there’s ur soul waiting for you .. u just need to get to the other side of the terror wall.. it’s all disintegrating .. your in the other side .. keep hammering the wall of terror ..
There are many ways to get into the trauma - shamanic hypnosis is also a vehicle to get to first base - & yes even over zoom..
The process of the aya may appear “woo woo” but the end goal is simple - to cleanse you - to make you whole - & yes there are other learnings .. but the end goal is to release you from trauma ..
Fear is real - even if it happened a 1000 years ago.. your courage is real even if you can’t see it - the medecine is a guide .. your cheerleader your unconditional love - foreva ..she will make you whole again by making your a fearless knight in the dark…slay the dragon -go big or go home - it’s a winner takes all odyssey .. and your divinity , your wholeness the prize!
If you’ve suffered trauma you have suffered “el susto” - your soul disappeared - for your soul to come home you need to be more important than them - than the trauma .. than the perpetrator .. so begins the farewell
The surround sound of terror is YUGE .. it’s always there .. but you’ve muffled it .. you gotta take the elevator to the basement .. there you go ..the engine room needs a new technician .. take out the invaders ..
If you’re smothered in someone else’s crap ( & you have no choice as a child) clean it - you’re not Tupperware to hold someone’s darkness - if you get smothered you disappear - bleach the basement & turn the lights on
Trauma is a battle with the dark - get ready to be terrorized - dragons will fiery nostrils will terrify you .. the closet you get to your light the more they will surround you.. if you’re in hell keep going & going .. you will return home - to the light
A perfect platter is an empty one - one that allows you to choose what to put on it - do goes trauma - you need to empty
It’s a journey… a challenge .. a marathon .. but after you’ve battled the dark.. day in day out .. love shows up!!the medecine .. the holy grail .. divinity
The deeper you go into your trauma the clearer your mission becomes .. the closer to your mothership the stronger your courage
Good news .. you have helpers .. but they’re holding your trauma & they’re alive .. go meet them & unload them of your burden ..
Yes you agreed .. sorry.. it’s true .. you had no choice .. but you can remember .. they know that ..& you can’t remember .. of course because you’re frozen in trauma ..they’re subtle .. but you’ll get there
Game over is the destination - authenticity versus attachment - truth versus trauma.. you gotta keep facing the dragon / the battle is fierce / the rewards endless
You are Waldo.. but not a willing Waldo .. you’re in a spin dry cycle of crazy .. once you find you .. your growth begins ..
Every connection needs to be seen & sometimes it’s very difficult to see.. but keep going !!
Believe no-one ., nothing ..just go have YOUR experience …the universe is your guide .. your friend .. when you realize that the journey begins
Trauma is like a squid that spurts black ink into your divinity .. it hardens freezes.. like a Russian doll you can’t see the layers & then the Aya shows up to dissolve you .. watch out!!
It’s straightforward if you follow the path .. you’re the everything .. the soup frozen in terror .. once defrosted cannot hold you hostage ..
The piece that got broken is in pieces.. like a broken mirror..you don’t know.. & with the Aya you get glued back & made whole .. then you get integrated back .. WHOLE
Healing with ayahuasca is a practical path - you can’t fear consciousness .. you may not understand it but it’s only because we haven’t gotten there yet
Trauma is frozen terror .. frozen energy - that energy holds the information the event the feelings - you have to blow it up - the Aya dynamites it releasing the information .. the cleansing is refueling the grip of horror which keeps you trapped - terrified & frozen the predator owns your power - defrosted & faced your power is returned -
Time to return to the kitchen where you got cooked ...& yes the Aya can get you there .. but first she’s going to blast through the seven circles of hell..
There is no “to be or not to be” if there’s terror - you can’t show up.. you’re owned .. they’ve moved in .. & you can’t see it..there is no one here but the terror .. you’ve fled .. they’ve taken over .. the Aya is the collider that will rip you to shreds ..the soufflé will be uncooked .. all the ingredients put in the table z finally you get to be back in the kitchen
You’re not doing this alone .. you can’t .. the ayahuasca is always in the wings to catch you .. to support guide & lead you into that dark room.. will you like it? Not one bit .. will you be ok .. of course you will... & ultimately dissolved .. next
You are already perfection.. the perfection you’re struggling to be is not YOU.. if you’ve been ambushed by trauma you won’t recognize your innate truth .. you’re frozen in the dark.. there is an original unequivocal you that has always been perfect .. that knows .. that flows .. that is .. whatever mode whatever channel .. return home
Don’t refuse yourself ... heal yourself .. find the root of the trauma .. however long & arduous the journey .. heal .. heal heal.. the culprit lies within you .. the horror inscribed on your energetic field .. find it .. find allies .. find love to guide you in.. the plant medecines are the new cern colliders.. once pushed through that you will finally dissolve
You.. the injury & the coverup .. trauma is simple - you the energy of the universe .. the injury ( the poison) & then the frozen state ( the coverup) - the Aya dissolves you back to your original state - death no longer matters - you’ve located home
Don’t get limited by the limitations of others .. we’re apes .. smart but still apes .. science is a constant funeral .. change is happening all day every day .. tread into the unknown .. you don’t get healed on an excel sheet .. heal in the spaces that work
You’re not the trauma .. you’re not your defense mechanism ... your ego.. you can’t be .. it’s a tiny piece of you that’s grown out of control like weeds .. all you need to do is clean up the garden
The doctor can’t locate the sure of a psychological injury .. the Aya can .. she can burrow into the psyche & gps the injury
Everything looks like it’s a “big deal” but life is a little ask.. it’s always in a state of Construction.. & then dissolution.. in trauma you don’t get unbuilt .. you’re in a bad 70’s Construction.. stuck in time .. the Aya ensures the demolition crew shows up
If your stork got hijacked on arrival & you got diverted to the gulag then it’s time to leave - but you can’t leave without the help of healing ie plant medecines ... don’t take it lightly - call on the powerhouse for rescue - the great Aya!!
Yep .. you’re a frozen wave mid air - in that freeze all the injury .. the truth .. terror is a tranquilizer gun .. you’re out .. it’s in .. dark energy - the ata is the dissolver .. live .. her tranquilizer gun freezes the personas .. the protective armor ...
Who needs a middleman? Who needs a shrink ? You can get the whole Shabang on your own .. a direct connection that heals psychologically & connects you with “the one” - it’s not a 1 800 con.. it’s you as the universe .. one thing one soup HOME
Trauma happens as a sequence - to unfreeze you need to follow the sequence back to its origin - it happened in a past that is present - but you can’t see it - here I try to break it down as logically as I can & take out the “woo woo”
Go.. get washed out .. hollowed out ..spin dryed by the universe .. you’re nature .. it knows what you are.. heal the injury by excorsizing with the universe ..
It’s not a thought .. thought comes later .. first the abuse is graffitied on your physicality .. it’s energetically inscribed .. thinking happens later as an outcome ...
You can heal.. just not here .. not in a doctors office .. in the outer realms .. with other medecines like plant medecine .. of course you’re scared .. you should be .. they’re one of the most powerful medecines out there .. but then for big trauma you need the top energetic surgeons in nature ..
To heal is to reconnect - to reconnect with your soul that was stolen through trauma - to heal us to shed - shed energetically .. to collapse like a soufflé over time - one explosion then another - to return to live to return home to reconnect with source - to know unequivocally who you are - Home - the greatest love story ever...
Yes .. it’s weird .. crazy .. terrifying but in the end it’s a beautiful love story - home - your souls will & the will of divinity reconnecting - you were ambushed - your true mother sends a search & rescue mission to find you - to bring you home - to what? The true home you forgot existed..
There was a “you” before the trauma.. there was a something before the Big Bang .. if you want to heal you need to trek back to the beginning .. you have to return to the you that existed before you were thrown out into space by the trauma & frozen there ..
Children have endless hopes .. that somehow the predator will change ., that someone is coming to rescue them .. the only real rescuer is the plant medecine that helps you discover your frozen trauma & the child that got frozen there
If you’re exploring energetic territory .. you’re gonna need energetic guides ..allies in that territory ..if you’re trapped frozen there .. there are allies everywhere ..
When you overhaul the system everything must go.. it’s an all or nothing game .. nothing can be left on the table .. which is why when there’s powerful trauma the journey is challenging .. in the end all the squatters need to leave .. all of your energetic landscape free
You’re energy - you’re sculpted by energy .. your shadow lives in a present energetic vault even though it feels like “the last” access happens through the beak in energy - it’s a huge gravitational lock .. but yes you can unlock it —
If you’re traumatized as a child you are injured in a frequency - an energetic frequency which you will close off from - to heal you need to go back to that frequency - it’s there that you heal
If you’re little you’re living in theta brain waves .. imagination, dreamlike, closer to consciousness .. if you’re traumatized there you’re thrown out - you shut down - to repair you must reenter that frequency - we heal in the frequency we are injured
Healing & divinity? In one connection? Yes.. all of it ..you can contain the vastness of all the dark & all the light .. and heal... it’s miraculous .. beyond all our tiny reality .. you can heal your trauma & find a divine connection .. 2 for 1.. what a gift
Your life is the gold.. all of it.. it can’t live inside someone else’s chest...you’re never the beggar .. you’re always THE KING/QUEEN.. if you can’t see it you’ve been tricked early on .. trauma is the ultimate fraudster ..
We don’t know it we fear it .. it’s woowooo .. can’t add it up? Doesn’t exist .. this is all one big soup .. swim all of it .. find the medecine & heal...🚀🚀
Trauma scorches you .. throws you offline - mines buried in your fallow soil., nothing grows here .. it’s in the dark frozen - the Aya replanted it all .. seeds it . Nurtures it .. you’re crippled blind .. that’s what the injury creates paralysis . You don’t skip classes in nature .. you can’t live without 80% off line - the Aya is the living farmer
Who wants to be uncomfortable? No one .. I hate discomfort but I hate being a hostage more .. and that’s how much I need to wade through my self storage of darkness .. I thought it would be a quick trip but then again I didn’t think it was a continent that needed cleaning..
You’re not here to be a prisoner ... you’re here to overthrow & thrive ..”the cup fileth over” -if there’s some dark energy hanging out .. dump the soil & start over
You feel solid .. bundled frozen .. trauma is a no hold barred captor .. but love is the dynamite .. you won’t want to dissolve but you must .. the universe is the battle axe the explosive that will carpet bomb you until you surrender . You will resist until you can’t .. & then like the river flow with an power unbeknownst to you / it’s the power of your truth
You are one magnificent piece of energy - if you’ve been broken , injured & interfered with you are the fragments of your beautiful self - go in & make yourself whole .. return to your original state..
It’s a face off - you & your trauma - tienem square - you in front of the tank - it’s not a one note universe - it’s a plethora of notes.. if you’re living in one your frozen in trauma .. unconditional love is the companion of freedom.. blinding terror is the dungeon keeper
You can’t always see the change .. it’s like a flower on fast forward ., only then .. we have a limited view of what’s happening.. but it’s happening ., just by watching the world around you
You are the end result of a recipe .. a code .. figure out the original recipe .. the disfigured field .. the crappy cook .. & leave the kitchen .. if you’re the chicken that got cooked .. run for the fields you came from .. a bloody men
You are IT .. huge loving sane .. darkness is a coward .. it moves into innocence .. but your soul is ohhh soo much bigger .. don’t believe me .. take a trip into your shadow
Trauma is your fish on land - it needs the ocean - the soup of everything - where it came from - you have to disentangle from the net to get back into the ocean .. dissolve your trauma ..& return to you
There’s a way back .. you might be lost but there’s a path home .. the aya lights it up..you will struggle .. you will be shocked .. you will know nothing & then everything will be seen - at last love arrives like the oil tanker at sea when you’ve been out alone on the ocean your whole life
You were supposed to get the penthouse but you ended up in the basement .. trauma .. it’s a trick .. you’ll think the basement is paradise because you didn’t read the contract .. it’s time to undo the spell & rightfully get room service
Put your breaker switch on - switch on .. healing is. Being 100% in life - here like ALL THE TIME - there’s nothing to be afraid of here - everything bad is percolating within
There’s an original blueprint of you- you don’t need to be one anything worse - in trauma you lose track of your way home - the Aya guides you back to your original blueprint
It’s ok to be you .. no ..it’s divinity to be you .. but in trauma your YOU has been buried - you have authorized someone else ..you have abandoned you .. that beautiful diamond of You.. to reach it you must tear down the dungeon keepers that made YOU wrong....
You’re energy .. if you’re built in hell .. that’s who you are .. but like any energy it’s a momentary appearance .. it feels real & it is energetically but plant spirits are energy doctors .. they fix energy - welcome to the energy hospital.. here you’ll get deflated & rebuilt
The gift of healing is just life - you get into the party .. no more bouncers .. life time pass.. no more dressing up for nothing .. you get to the carnival from your accounting life .. it’s just life .. party hard until it’s over .. it wants you to squeeze it dry ..
Trauma is a torpedo - it wrecks your ship - you’re a shipwreck at the mercy of the wind - to regain your energetic compass you must be made whole - that’s how your journey into the dark works - to see the fragments - to see your original recipe .. & regain your power
Now - you’re the end result .. in trauma you’re the “end of the equation” after all the fragmentation - the fragmentation lives in the dark & in that darkness the truth & the real story - that’s where you’ve been captured - you’re layers of energy - defensive mechanisms to keep you hidden - the Aya locates the lost treasure of you
Of course there’s a you that got wiped out .. you haven’t met him/her .. but once the swamps drained you’ll reconnect - you won’t recognize them .. but you’ll get to know them .. finally your soup is home
Shucking oysters .. caterpillars into butterflies .. it’s messy .. no Marie mondo tidy here.. get messy .. muddy & stop trying to “work” it.. a rent less catwalk gets boring .. go have the adventure of your life & tear it up.. traumas just another diva..
Seriously what’s with this shadow stuff? Simple .. no one was there to hug & love you when it happened - why would I need to fragment if someone was there to make it all better .. You just stuff it under the mattress & carry on until the pain becomes unbearable
You are the universe .. you are the injury .. you are the everything .. how all of this works is a mystery .. you won’t just heal your trauma . You’ll discover your true home
Who knew that you were a master builder - if you’ve survived your trauma you’ve built your armor brilliantly - problem is you forgot you built it ..forgot your original craft .. now you have to own it & dismantle it .. good luck with that
Don’t underestimate the power of truth - the complete acceptance of everything - however ugly .. vile .. if you pretend it out of existence it still lives - it’s still acting out in your life - you’ve just put a disappearing blanket on it - just cos you can’t see it - doesn’t mean it’s not everywhere ..
There is the gift after the battle ..you .. without the trauma.. you with a fading memory of hell & finally you as the valued respected loved divinity ..that you arrived as
Security is a superstition - life is an adventure or nothing - if you’re dealing with trauma the universe is asking you to grow .. to resolve .. you’re being challenged to blossom .. see it as that .. some are building companies others are forced to disentangle energy .. it’s all the adventure
Healing is seeing - reliving .. lighting up the dark.. it’s long arduous but not impossible - the aya will remove every last thorn ... until suddenly here you are again as if fir the first time
Love is the healing .. & cutting down the forest of crap in your shadow .. don’t worry .. you didn’t die .. you can’t .. you’re just smothered in shit.. energetic debris .. your way out is through accompanied with the vast symphonic love of the universe
It’s not impossible - trauma is an oil spill - you are the crystalline water before the spill - it’s an energetic clean up job - you were wired with the spill .. there’s a powerful authentic you that still exists
You are a someone before the trauma - the injury .. a beautiful being aligned true at one with the universe - the injury is an interference a capture .. but you just need to get to the event & move back into your kingdoms
I know .. it sucks .. trauma is work .. & no it’s not a movie part .. but it’s part of your destiny .. the universe has challenged you in a different way to grow .. to evolve .. don’t argue .. accept surrender .. trust & grow .. that’s your destiny ., you challenge .. your odyssey to blossom only the most powerful version if you
It won’t be straightforward at first .. the same way tribesmen see a plane overhead & think nahhhh .. must be a god..the Aya is a “no nonsense let’s get this sorted “ medecine - it might seem different but it’s just another modality .. a deeper honest unique one one medecine- it’s a roterooter - practical relentless & magical - everything you’ll learn will be straight up you .. that you had no access to
There’s a method to the trauma - it has a reasoning - to get rid of it you need to understand how it lives .. where it lives .. why it’s still there ..follow the fear ...
The dragon is the hidden trauma .. the eternal battle of the light over the dark.. the connection to the sacred .. all this to come home .. get your Wellies on fir the journey
At first the long journey to your frozen trauma is the destination .. but then you realize ( no matter the weight of the trauma) that it’s just a stop along the way ... there’s another “you” that existed beyond the injury - another stop on the road
Ya think? .. if you’re traumatized the event lies in a vault far away from YOU .. you are the armor & the landfill a million miles away from the “event” - you’re neither the armor nor the trauma - go get your machete to cut through the dark
Ok .. it’s not all a shit show.. the path of healing is smothered in pain ., but also learning .. yep.. lessons .. once you’ve cleared out the muck .. you’ll learn a thing or two about the universe & the people that hurt you .. who knew?
You won’t know .. you’ll just suffer & won’t see the origin.. you’re in the forest ..in the dark .. running from the pain .. but the pain needs you . It needs you to find it .. illuminate it & release it.. your heart is broken there .. go find it
intellectual knowledge will not heal you..it didn’t happen in the head it happened in the heart.. that’s your destination ..you need to cut down the emotional jungle ..dethread .. shed .. stumble through your shadow & unlock the fear that has frozen your heart
It’s not just “one” event in trauma .. it’s a whole epic saga.. littered with layers ..each layer needs to be dissolved .. some more difficult than others .. but each layer means less fear .. you want ALL fear gone so you can finally BE all of YOU
If you’re visiting the “shadow” to heal - pack appropriately .. surrender be in “don’t know” leave your ego at home or bring but will be destroyed .. let it take you like the current if a river & be GRATEFUL Very GRATEFUL.. you just scored ..
You gotta go THERE ... where? There .. to the place you’ve never known ...to the original scene of the crime buried in a past you have no access to through layers of resistance you have built...
You need to get THERE .. to where the trauma lives / in your past .. it’s that kingdom where you live frozen that you need to rescue your soul.. the odyssey is long & treacherous but everything is on the table for your freedom
For each dissolving that gets you closer to the trauma you will be tested to leave .. it’s like a chamber of walls that you’ve built until you reach the final demon .. that somersault will require extra attention
Go ahead .. tell the universe your schedule .. how you would like her to “handle” your trauma .. she doesn’t care .. about your ego or your schedule .. everything happens on HER terms
Energy is like a huge layered cake - each energetic layer needs to be dissolved .. the ayahuasca will burrow into each layer to rehearse your spirit
If you want to heal trauma you’re gonna get down and dirty ..it’s like cleaning a boat that’s been rusted & refused - you want home again? You gotta enter the dark ..dive into the depth of a dark ocean that carries all the secrets .. fun naaah but liberating oh shit Yes..
Would you argue with a tiger when it’s in front of you ., naahh don’t negotiate with the thing that knows everything . .. you will but you’ll lose & suffer ., give it up & heal the trauma
Dirty is real - sewage is not a joke - trauma creates a toxic landfill of energy & you are trapped in it - Cleansing is imperative - the cleansing of unprocessed blockages bundled with terror - all of you in every dimension needs cleansing .. nothing woo boo here just a leap of faith into nature -
Trauma is solid - it’s solid frozen energy disrupting the life force in your system.. it’s paralyzed with fear .. another powerful magnetic force .. to clear it you must first see it .. then face the firewall of fear .. then release the memory & the feeling - if you have trauma you’re a field of landlines that must be detonated
Everything is a chemical concoction - you are the egg baked into the cake of trauma - you arrive to everyone’s energy - the trick is to uncook you - to extricate your energy from theirs - you have to get past firewall of fear - to memory & feeling - that’s the genius of the Aya - you get back to bring the ingredient before the energetic cake was baked
You’re an egg .. the egg gets cooked into the cake - the cake is riddled with trauma... how do you uncook yourself &return to your original state - the egg? You can .. you can rewind reveal relive .. it’s an overgrown jungle that requires additional assistance in another dimension - the repair shop you get fixed in is in another field ..
Egos know everything.. they have to.. they’re like the sentry on the turrets.. but that’s your downfall.. to know is to live with limitations ..you can’t heal trauma if you’re wedged in limited egos.. great for early survival a crypt for existence .. know nothing & open the crack into the shadow .. the rest is history & healing...
You may think “this” is all there is.. but what creates trauma lurks in a energetic bodies of darkness .. you can’t see them but they hide in the dark .. to heal you must pull them into the light where like gush out of water they writhe & flap.. it’s there they come to die.. it’s there that you heal .. move into that dimension & let the Aya bring her she’s stadium lighting to pull them out
The universe is the candy shop .. but fear is the bouncer that will never give you access.. no matter how “good” you look - if there’s fear/trauma the party’s happening without you .. you gotta face the bouncer .. you gotta face the fear & yes it’s just like the fairy tales .. agonizingly YUGE...Energetic squatters that have accommodated themselves for too long in your home
Trauma .. not so complicated .. if you drip poison consistently on ANY living thing eventually it will perish or build something to lIVE WITH IT... that’s what needed to be erased .. plunge into the darkest corners of your psyche where it feeds .. & starve it
Everything is energy - Your trauma is an active injury - it’s not a dead yesterday .. it’s an “alive” terror that’s affecting an “alive” child stuck in an energized field - if you want to heal it you need to enter that energy field but it’s not another ape that gets you there it’s a plant - get out of the limited ape head & surrender to the vast universe
If you have trauma you have tons of fear - to heal trauma you must reach the fear - it’s the nuclear power station the gravitational pull of trauma - that’s your seal mission
You want to really “see” your trauma .. ? Look under the microscope of ayahuasca.. like an X-ray.. it will show you everything .. it’s a subtle energy state .. whatever .. look theres a chair .. ok ..can you see the gravity? No can you see the atoms bombarding inside ? No..but you can under a microscope & do the math for gravity .. to heal trauma you need to be the detective, the scene of the crime & the victim .. in the subtle realms everything is revealed
Yes.. trauma evicts your soul... yes that elusive undefinable you.. trauma is like a blunt weapon to your whole existence ..you disappear .. something shows up .. but it’s armor.. it’s not you.. you’re somewhere “out there” .. bring it home
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How are you going to know you’re a prisoner .. you don’t .. it happened in the twilight of consciousness .. travel back with an army & face the horror.. & yes an army .. allies await .. just commit to healing
Someone’s on your throne .. they tricked you out early on.. you’re living in a shack in the forest complaining & scared whilst someone rules your kingdom from your throne .. time to unload .. trauma pumps you with fear .. you need to drain the swamp
Everything is a mystery... but you can access it for healing ..therein the great gift.. all you need to do is tear down your version of reality by sure being to something oh so much bigger .. you won’t understand it .. you’ll fight it.. it will have its own agenda .. but you will heal
Trauma is a clean up job - a poisonous oil spill on your entire energy body - the firewall to the truth is fear .. raging fear the electric fence you must surmount to see the truth - if you’ve built a defense mechanism as a cover up that too must be dissolved - THe aya has a huge job!
How do you remove the enemy you can’t see? How can you retrieve a child that’s captured ? You can’t not here .. not amidst other apes .. nuclear warheads of nature are required ‘ even then it will be a battle.. go in & never give in until everything has been reclaimed
There’s a firewall of fear of there’s trauma - the mastery is to meet it because behind it are many secrets that you have closed off in the dark ..
If you’re traumatized you’re in the wrong location but you’ve agreed to it.. it’s ALL wrong but daily you make it right .. wrong destination .. but you’ve built a system to make it right - the contradiction is paralytic - time for dynamite !
Trauma is the injury of no love .. it’s the cocktail of someone else’s poison .. you being part of its stampede .. like the famous pic of the gurl on fire in Vietnam it’s on the run & you may be on its path..in its clutches you will wither - to return us to release if you even know you’ve been caught ..
Trauma .. what’s your healing? An ape or the whole universe? & yes .. if you do plant medecines - ayahuasca / the whole universe will show up to heal you ..will it be messy uncomfortable - a resounding yes.. but unlike ape work she will reach your core wound - all you need to do is show up
Darkness is ether .. a trick .. a powerful gravitational pull.. how do you undo gravity? A pill? A shrink? A book?... fuggedaboutit.. don’t kid yourself .. a bandaid on a slaughter is not going to work... a bandaid against darkness is just that - a joke .. the darkness laughs as you question why you’re on a leash ..
There’s one trauma .. one gravitational injury around which you have built a self .. & the. Layer upon layer of soundproofing .. ego building .. you have to dissolve every layer .. get to the outer ring of fear & terror & then dissolve the relationship .. then the magic of feeling again happens
You better not show up with a fantasy of rose petals and angels - it’s hell in the shadow .. dark entities & evil .. the dark.. but also massive amounts of divine love .. guides .. real loving unconditional parents ..it’ll take everything to reach the inner circle of hell - the coliseum where you will fight for the deliverance of your traumatized child - & you will win if you commit - for eternity
It doesn’t get better . First it get REALLY bad .., it has to for you to recover ..trauma makes “someone “ not you - the you is the you blossomed with love .. that’s the ultimate destination ..
Dragons, demons, evil..... yes.. you can overturn it all.. yes it’s your prison if you have trauma but there are plant medecines that will tear down the prison walls - victory will be your ally
Everything is “IT” - the dark & the light work in this cauldron... everything is a reflection of the everything & trauma is something that can be healed in “IT” - you just need to see yourself as the wave in the ocean..
You won’t like everything you see or feel .. but you either purge it or it takes up your continent ...
If you do the plant medecine it will take over.. you will have no oars .. you will not know where you’re going ... & it will suck because all traumatized egos need extra control ..as they say we’ll take it from here & you will fight until she wins good luck
You will never know what’s next on this journey - & it will be nothing that you imagine - so relax & surrender .. NEXT
Like an old nuclear submarine your defense mechanisms are not you.. you’ve got to bring you back..
You’re not “here” if there’s trauma - you live on the other side of it - trauma is the refusal of you - it’s recipe no love +fear - it’s like life on the moon - it lacks the ingredients to LIVE. - you’re refused from existence - from the nutrition that makes you live - tear down the structure that imprisons you
It’s tough.. it’s a pain.. it’s a huge roaring monster .. but if it owns your soul your fear fuels it..the fight is the return of your soul from the clutches of evil.. trauma can only happen if you continue asleep - demand to be woken up & slay the hijacker
The summit is real - but it’s not an odyssey to the moon or to the Himalayas .. it’s an inner odyssey home - it’s the release of trauma - the release of you from a hostile take over - evil is real - the fortress you built electrified - if you’re homeless & lost ... you’ve been hijacked by trauma & terror - start the crusade home in the silence of meditation - you can summit your life by being home & facing the dark
If there’s trauma there’s a landscape of injury not a corner - injuries bleed into everything like poison- the aya brings a construction crew not a band aid - you don’t get a little back you get all of you back ..
Don’t get lost in theories - books words promises - you’re it - you’re the discovery the ephemeral divinity- just find a way into you as an energetic experience - everything lies there .. plus all your healing ..
If it engulfs you it’s because it’s packed with the energy of your fear- it’s become a sumo wrestler in the dark.. you’ve fed it Twinkie’s & Big Macs to keep it hidden - starve it - face it - even in pure terror ... face it ..& dissolve it all.. it happened & then it didn’t
If you’re traumatized you have a battalion . A league of defense mechanisms - They’ll defend the fort & also bury you - all of it needs to be torn down if you want healing .,
It’s ALL life .. heavy light black pink.. don’t get stuck in “heavy” & if you are get out .. you can .. it’s a dance .. don’t sit in the side lines & groan .. you can fix it even if you have no idea how to.. just keep probing .. even in the greatest ignorance s your intention to heal will be answered
How the mere act of sitting can get you into an odyssey you never planned to heal your trauma
You can trace trauma - even if it’s deeply embedded .. there’s a place of origin like the Big Bang .. there’s a round & then an airbag built to hide the would .. keep tracing it back to its origin .. there you’ll find all the answers & the healing ..
You’re miserable ... you’re pissed .. you’re unhappy ... face it .. face it all...don’t hold back .. that’s where U heal.. not that complicated ...tough challenging a shit show but let the sewage rise through you .. you are the container the channel ...let the poison rise ... & Let the healing begin
Trauma lives in one place .. it’s faraway .. & can only be reached by scaling the Himalayas of your psyche..you need to return to the scene of the crime .. the original domino .. then everything will collapse .. you are what happened & what is happening ... raze it to the ground
We’re smart apes .. with the dna of a fruitful .. no we don’t have all the answers .. the world is magic YUGE & simple .. you hold everything within you .. you don’t need a daily horoscope reading to tellyou what’s happening .. just defuel the ego .. plenty going on & tons to heal when it’s not playing court jester - & heal
It’s not that complicated - trauma is distraction / terror / running from an unknown terror that has flourished in an early wound - the journey back is simple - sitting .. sitting sitting .. see it .. watch it move out of ether .. keep watching it balloon into life .. it’s like a vampire .. it cannot survive in the light
Yes .. you can put yourself back together again.. & no it’s not a 1-800 gimmick .. or “the premium package” it will take a sheer force if will that can move mountains - all you need to bring is your commitment .. your belief - Humpty Dumpty the 4.0 version
Yep.. the dragon has over stayed its visit in your celebrity home.. who will stay & who will leave .. it’s up to you..
No.. you can’t get there alone .. it’s a smothering a trick - the archetype that dominates the path.. there’s always help but you might need a leap of faith .. take it
It’s you & then you again..you’re not going anywhere - the captivity is inside of you as is the free soul .. it’s an imbalance of power an internal coup.. get ready for a showdown
Addiction - serial killers - penthouse lives - trauma creates many different outcomes - compensations - the homeless person or the high flying executive might both be affected by trauma - they both had different outcomes - the trauma remains - no penthouse can fill the emptiness.. it needs to be vanquished entirely
Yes .. your here in this dimension but your trauma & captor sits in another .. there’s no train to it ..no plane .. you get there through the plants .. that there is affecting this here ..& then beyond other dimensions .. affecting this one .. no it’s not gobbledegook - it’s more real than this .. you want healing go “there”
The story is bigger than you - you were swept up in it.... like a fishing net ..but once you’re in you don’t know it.. to see it you must become the drone ..perspective distance dissolving ..for trauma to disappear you must walk off the stage..
Your shadow lives in another dimension but your existing in this one.. you are the outcome of your trauma & not.. it seems real but is it you? There are battlefields & narratives happening on other planes ..& you are an outcome of them too... wtf is all of this? You’ll find out & still make no sense...
The universe will push off one cliff ... & once you’ve been pushed down the river prepare you to jump off the Niagara Falls .. will you cling to the branch as the momentum of the river forces you to jump? Everything has to be released oh but EVERYTHING ..
How this works... no one knows .. Does the universe get built in a day ... naahhh? Is there time ? WTF is all of this .. clueless ... but it works & it’s all working through u.. you only get to see after it’s happened .. surrender to it .. seriously you never had a choice anyway
Dare to dig up your shadow .. the truth & the dragon keeping your innocence will be confronted.. it’s breath terror .. it’s demeanor your death... you will grace it .. & you will surface .. but it has background radiation that like a gif will show up .. keep marching forward & practice the return to life
You don’t get a refund if you go down the rabbit hole.. there’s no getting off the rocket once it’s ignited .. if you get scared .. because you’ve never been here before if you’ve been traumatized - just keep surrendering - you’re blowing down walls .. you’ve never been here before & freedom looks like nothing you’ve ever known ..
There are many pit stops to this recovery of self .. many demand your courage .. the reboot of you .. at each stop you will be forced to surface .. to spread the truth .. telling your family is like coming out .. will they accept your truth or not? It doesn’t matter .. your truth always comes first .
Honesty is the new technology - that’s all trauma is - wounding injury & then burying all the hurt in a storage box called “the shadow” - you’re living in the periphery of your Versailles .. in the forest asking where home is - Go do some honesty .. it’s a great light in the darkness on your way home
You can’t “half heal” .. like being “half pregnant” to cut off the head .. you need to cut down the whole weed.. in a crime there are accomplices .. you can’t pretend the others innocence if they were involved - healing requires a complete power wash .. therein the rub
Of course you will win.. of course there will be victory .. but you have to commit - commit to the cause of YOU.. make that your first mission.. your first crusade.. once you’ve freed yourself then your light gives others the power to be healed .. you will always be victorious because you are the infinite divinity .. just commit to coming home
You’re either pregnant or not - trauma is a simple equation that you can’t see if you’re in it - Here I distill it into a simple equation of energetic compartments that are severed .. & how to restitch & become whole - you don’t need to have done anything - just to see the clarity of what happens
The aya is the navy seals of the healing army - you want nothing less on this mission- the aya has the smarts & the skill to take you into the lair of evil where trauma happens .. if you’ve been trapped by evil .. & trauma to a child is evil .. her stealth, precision & love is without measure - she will not stop until you are out - debriefed & home
I get it .. I’m radiant light .. you’re radiant light .. we’re all it .. but how can I know it if I’m cowering under the threat of extinction.. like in “every moment” if every moment is a threat?? Trim the carbuncles .. dive into the sewer.. & pull out the roots .. yep .. all in a lifetime & clear up your divine real estate ..
You’ll complain & be uncomfortable the whole way.. you want to go home but return means revelation.. of everything you have hidden .. you will have to see the truth.. tell the truth .. accept it .. & yes dump it.. freedom is you before you ejected..
Yes it happened... it was a monumental healing from Peru .. across continents.. no time or space when healing happens .. you can heal in the time that the trauma happened...
The scene was happening before you arrived - the characters playing their role for a long time .. the cauldron on high heat .. & then you showed up.. the rest is cooking time .. until the universe showed up..
Life isn’t a hammer blow .. it’s a series of intricate tributaries .. subtle connections .. it doesn’t get healed with a 5 step plan.. it moves at its own speed/direction.. so don’t get fooled by “the plan” - there is no “one way” - it’ll be your healing.. your journey .. the roads will split & split again until everything is revealed
What do you compare yourself to .. the guy with the Porsche or the institution that judges your very existence? Is the turbulence inside throwing you into the turbulence outside .? Where’s the refuge .. trauma requires refuge & healing ..YOU need to become the refuge & healer
There are many stops on the way back home from trauma .... the softening of your armor.. the return to your heart .. to feeling love is not easy.. in trauma you have been geared up for an endless fight .. for a relentless threat .. in trauma there is no space for love .. & then you get to that one watering hole .. & you know your close to the end...
Yes .. you’re human.. if you hit the floor you’ll bruise .. there’s no getting out of “this” but you’re also much more .. you’re a container for a zillion years of info.. you’re trauma is coded in or not . From this lifetime or another .. if you’re healing trauma .. you need access to information .. the aya opens the door
Which way to Nirvana ? Ya think? After the rollercoaster ride you get angels in clouds ? Is that it? Who the f**k knows.. it’s just another door.. another challenge..another divine moment .. there is no final destination.. just this divine moment
There’s nothing “spiritual” about life or healing .. it’s all baked in & a perilous road of recovery .. there are no dreamy butterflies or angelic choirs .. that’s why it’s the shadow ., it’s dark dirty demanding very challenging .. will you lose your mind? Depends on how brave you are !!
Heal it .. feel it.. yep.. that’s essentially it ..such a simple saying but when you’re smothered in fear & trauma you’re in a vat of terror.. connected by a thousand wires to the assailant ..& a thousand guards.. behind one feeling another .. let the dominoes fall ., let the castle collapse ... & surface fro the rubble .. let’s yourself feel
Everybody wants you to create “their shape” - their version .. believe none of it.. divinity offered you the challenge .. it’s your trauma .. your pilgrimage .. your privilege.. only YOU get to walk it on YOUR terms - you are IT ... dont get tangled up in someone else’s shadow
Don’t fool yourself.. the next promotion, the cute boyfriend .. won’t quell your yearning.. only one thing resolved trauma .. LOVE.. as an ally it will create the cushion, the protection, the light into the darkness.. the aya will shower you in love to guide you home
The trauma is the destination.. but when you get there it might be the opening onto a bigger stage .. in another dimension.. & another narrative happening somewhere else..be prepared for everything .. the universe is YUGE
The momentum of trauma is like a carnival cruise liner .. it’s ploughing through the water with or without you.. you’ll need help to stop it, dock it.. dismantle it.. that’s a whole lotta work..
Trauma is the breaker switch to your life.. it’s energetic hold seismic.. a toddler & a gladiator in the coliseum ... your terror will freeze your soul out of you, submitted obedient the evil moves in..go back .. go hole
You arrive to an energetic cauldron that’s full on.. you can’t “escape” it...you will be cooked in it.. to know you’re even in it is the first step.. the next is more delicate .. the full on extrication ..
The aya is a tractor for your manicured ego... no matter how perfect your lawn she will dig it up until everything’s unearthed .. & no .. no more manicured ego but yes .. the dead bodies can now be removed & yes .. you get to live above ground YAY
In trauma you have a teeming shadow.. it has a grip on you that’s more powerful than the magnetism at a black hole .. to break through it will require a delicate extrication .. it’s a singular voyage into the dark .
The tunnels of the shadow is like a haunted house .. what you’ll find there you won’t know.. but it’s all the damage you refuse to admit.. what you’ll find & experience is bigger than what you can ever imagine ..
Your energy is your grail .. your everything .. if anyone interferes .. injures that divine powerhouse early on your fucked.. you’re imprisoned .. you’re left out of the playground of life.. to heal that injury is complicated.. especially if it’s your parents that injured you
If you’ve been traumatized you become a host for evil .. a petridish that replicates the energetic wounding.. it can seep into your whole field & take possession.. it’s the stuff of Harry Potter & fantasy narratives .. but it’s ALL real..
Fears, concerns about the ayahuasca & actually doing “the medecine” & yes it’s a “medecine” not a party drug ..
You’re playing in a much bigger stadium of consciousness .. the trick is the delusion of “this” - this reality - energetic forces are like ether .. you can’t feel it inside your tiny relative cubby hole .. the aya pierces the veil by tearing down the defense mechanism you’ve built
Yep.. it’s crazy... every moment lives on within you & yes you can access all of it ..that’s what the aya does.. return you to the blockage real time & heal..
It’s not what happened .. it’s what you refused to feel.. that’s how you are stolen .. you are made”wrong” so that you authorize their abuse .. & with that refusal of your feelings you self hate .. it’s a downward descent until the breaker switch of your life is turned “OFF”
Trauma is shriveling... yep.. you’re in a pothole on a vast landscape .. you’re stuck .. the way in is to be a drone .. yes the aya pulls you out of your trench & gives you an aerial view of your landscape & life.. here’s what happened furreall .. now you can heal
It’s a much bigger field than you think.. consciousness that is.. there are powerful narratives happening in both planes.. it’s a map you need to unfold .& a journey that will take you to the origin of everything
If you’ve been traumatized .. you’ve been annexed by another “country” & the generals will show up to ensure you’re injury paralyzes you inside “the mother ship” .. Rome couldn’t last because the generals were overthrown .. you get the picture
It’s a rescue mission .. a construction site .., a quarantine .. if you let her in the aya will bring you to a halt until you heal.. it’s a miracle.. a crazy ride.. a imaginative leap into the unknown..surrender & heal
Why?.. all this unfolding .. all this seeing.. all this trauma ..? It’s time to clean your garden.. for you & everyone else.. reconnect with your hardened soul.. there’s no toughness in a “shredded soul” .. there’s power in sweetness tenderness & connection ..take out the hose..
Eventually YOU will show up.. there’s no you in trauma.. there’s someone built in relation to trauma.. it’s armor, strategy, a trench .. built to avoid death when your defenseless... once the veils been torn, the dragon slayed, the truth seen.. YOU yes YOU actually shop
It’s a long road to the reveal .. it might take decades .. but the dragon is filing its nails whilst you stumble back...& before you know it .. there you are locked in battle .. the final truth guarded so closely by the dragon .. the dragon you employed to survive .. you must finally tear it down & set yourself free..
Going home is the journey .. if you’ve been stranded .. locked out .. you want to get back in.... one step at a time & the journey opens up..trauma is the squatter ..
Yes .. you built that lumbering energetic tyrant to find a shard of connection in the dark.. dredge it up .. let it run through you over & over until it’s expresses itself in every cell of your body.. when it’s seen it begins to lose powe
Yes .. you will get cooked into the pie early on & you won’t even know... the journey is extrication .. perspective .. clarity ... otherwise you’re stumbling in the dark.. leaving the toxic dump is a burrowing job.. the ayahuasca is the digger
It’s a conundrum .. it’s a scene in a play .. it’s a relationship .. a threading.. an avalanche .. to get out you must see it all .. the dynamic ..disassemble the machine .. with the help of consciousness .. with whatever takes you out of your paradigm .. no more visits to empty wells when there’s the healing of love
No.. you can’t sign up & get an itinerary .. it will never be what you expect & there’s no going back.. so buckle up for the ride because this roller coaster has no end or schedule you will ever recognize ..welcome yo the miracle of aya ..
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Freedom is lost “on arrival” .. but you may not know it.. relentless discomfort might demand revolution but it’s not external.. it’s an inner collapse against everyone that built you.. get ready for the ride
As you “wake up” “come on line” your Antena will unclog.. the signals will be clearer .. after the unearthing of memories .. of your physical defense system .. & a refueling of love the message will be clearer..
Power.. do you have it? Why don’t you? Where did it go.. how do you get it back? Trauma means you’ve been shanghiad ..
Ode to the eternal love of the universe .. to those wandering in the dark .. to those held hostage underground .. to all of us on the journey home .. thank you to the great great ayahuasca 🦋🦋🦋
There are lots of dead ends on this pilgrimage ... you’re going to give up hope .. get frustrated .. think it’s over when you’re still at the bottom & nowhere near the end.. do it all & keep going.. it may look pitch black .. but it’s only because you don’t want to look around it ... keep piercing the dark.. each wall is only the beginning of you ..
Darkness is real.. it’s not “just over there” it’s also “right here” - don’t walk away from it - don’t smother it ... walk through it .. know it.. face it.. it’s main ingredient suffering - hurt.. if you don’t accept it .. it will own you .. love it & heal it.. & get on the highway
Don’t run.. stay home .. don’t yearn... stay home .. sit in the shitshow .. you’re a divine warrior ..nothing can pull up your roots .. so stay home .. face it .. don’t find an excuse to run .. don’t run.. just feel.. watch .. experience .. relive .. & yes .. one day it will be all over & you will fly🌼🌼
Endless opening until you disappear.. & then even more opening when you reappear as all of it..
Distance healing? WHAAAA? Divine love summoned by the shipibo .. through ayahuasca ? take a bow Harry Potter - the ayahuasca beats the wizard every time .. & this is real.. to be loved or not.. to be picked up from trauma or not - welcome home ..
You get cut .. you wound .. you don’t accept it you don’t heal..No-one wants to tear down the “kingdom” .. you need a cause - a crusade to upend it - what better cause than your spirit .. than the you that lays buried in the rubble - follow that - your beautiful child - your beautiful soul - the divinity of you ..
How long will you live on top of the volcano? How long can you live in contradiction? Don’t .. let it all hang out.. & I mean all of it.. stop rearranging the furniture .. let the boat sink.. let the water drain out of the bath tub & see what was making you uncomfortable ..
It’s not just that you’re traumatized .. it’s that you’ve been taken over.. the predator has replicated themselves in you .. creating mechanisms within you that refuse your exit.. you can’t over turn you... but you must .. vacate the code & return the divinity that left from terror - your true spirit
To fool or not to fool yourself.. to know or not to know..we want to believe it’s over.. the “you’ve arrived at your destination”- be wary of delusion & desire .. the darkness has many tricks ..keep lighting the torch🤪🤪🤪
There’s nothing “perfect” about trauma - it’s a writhing shitshow under a yearning for perfection facade - there is no stability as the two forces fight to dominate - let the shitshow smother perfection .. & return to calm.. nothing can frighten you once you’ve see the monstee
Of course you don’t want to disappear .. break up.. dissolve .. but if you’re in trauma you’re caked in energetic yukdom.. buried .. crawl out & grow your new self rom the mulch👏👏
The universe is never ending... as are you..you will be challenged to grow .. you have a choice .. to suffer on the autobahn or hit the untrodden tracks .. knowing nothing .. guides by forces you cannot know .. but that will guide you home.. to go or not to go.. that is the question
It’s all a mystery... yep & it’s YUGE.. don’t let your mind limit the vastness.. tiptoe in & never look back .. it will take you into the vastness.. it will decipher & unlock all of you.. keep going ..
It’s hard to show up.. to really show up.. to dynamite all your illusions & accept your shadow.. but you can’t pretend it out of existence forever because it will devour you.. throw open the gates & get smothered..
The universe will take you off the highway.. the back roads will suck.. you will understand nothing .. you will be forced to surrender .. but the prophesies will come & you’ll understand nothing until you understand everything ..
What’s inside is happening outside... the magic hospital ward is ayahuasca .. surrender & let her into the engine room ...
A little toddler stares up at a towering monster of a parent raining down its energy upon it.. you’re barely here a sponge a container above you darkness. Anger pouring down .. it seeps everywhere the ayahuasca is a powerwash
How many moments were your childhood .. ?? & in each of those moments what did you feel ? Did you allow yourself to feel?? Where is it hidden?? The ayahuasca will uncover then again & return you home
Trauma builds an army of tanks .. there’s no “you” there... you can’t be.. it devours you whole & builds armor out of the debris of someone else’s shit..in the end it’s built without love.. a samurai warrior needs to find its way home to source .. to love
If you built “you” you can unbuild it .. with the help of the universe...it’s like an ikea shelving unit .. the instructions for building need to understood .. ( I’m crap at ikea) which is why the universe offers tools - meditation .. ayahuasca etc.. go unbuild
You think this is it?? Naaaahhh - healing happens on so many diff dimensions - the battle between the light & the dark is playing out on your energy field! Give it a whirl!!
The ayahuasca will take you into other dimensions .. get ready for take off..& for healing
Fear is a mighty bully.. it owns you if you keep disappearing from “this” reality.. when it shows up .. don’t leave.. sir stay .. feel every last resonance .. keep staying “here”.. & eventually the fear loses its power & finally you CAN show up!
Why bother to go with all of this... too much work .. in the end it’s not “to be or not to be” it’s “to be free or not” because someone will own you when you’re not looking ...
In trauma you’re always leaving .. attaining .. on the run.. without it.. it’s simple ..you are perfect just as you are
We are either flowers grown in the wild or tampered seeds grown around a trestle if there’s serious trauma.. to return to the unborn the unconditioned is the journey of truth .. to finally live separate to the trauma .. to the stew .... that’s the gift
Everything is energy - nothing “goes away” & YES we can traverse space & time.. which is why we can heal.. we can go back & untie the knots that keeps us imprisoned .. it’s insane miraculous & def was not on my “high street” life calendar ...go unknot yourself .. yes it’s possible 🙏🥳🙏
If you have trauma from childhood ( about 70% of the universe) then you have illegal squatters at home.. you’ve been evicted & are roaming a strange place.. to get rerooted you have to repossess your soul your home your roots.. the aya is a huge guide home ..
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The darkness has many tricks to keep you imprisoned .. self hatred is one of their personal favorites .. go.. find it in my messy attic & smother it in love.. the aya is the medecine
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Yep.. you’re a vessel.. a container .. you got the good the bad & the ugly & the ugly is verrryyy UGLY indeed .. some would say evil... so if there’s any “evil” jigging around .. taking up any space due to trauma .. then you need to clean up the internal oil spill...
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You are the crystalline Aegean - the trauma an oil spill on your purity.. don’t make the oils spill “work” - darkness can never coexist in your light ... dive clean -wash rinse REPEAT... over & over ..
How much are u willing to see... ? All of it.. the scramble of wires in your shadow room are a pain.. thousands keep you programmed to refuse you .. go unscramble .. & grow.. the aya is a powerful navigator ..
Imagine your little munchkin.. your little vulnerable child...& then move your whole life.. your destination .. oh but everything towards them...
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If you need to rehearse “your lines” to exist.. to show up.. to be seen.. then no.. you can’t be “here” effortlessly .. unabashedly you...the path is the release of “the show” & the arrival of you.. in all its truth .. no script no lines no struggle.. no show for Houdini...
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You gotta keep badgering your ego... yes it will find you the most annoying person evaaa but eventually it will let up its little strategies..
It’s not just the trauma that stampeded you.. it’s the whole hot house of beliefs... & by extension institutions ...to release yourself from bondage is an all or nothing affair ..
Yep.. very thing will seem wrong in this path.. every step of the way you will meet obstacles that push you away.. guilt shame .. all the perfectly “wrong” emotions - the dungeon keepers will refuse you.. keep knockin’ ‘em down.. the light shines brightly behind them
Once the trip into hell is over .. the truth seen.. the apocalypse dismantled .. there’s an arriving.. once an orphan of yourself .. the breaker switch can now be turned on .. but who are you now? You’ve never known yourself here.. so begins a new odyssey .. hold into your hollyhocks !
Yes... you can own all of you.. all the pieces put together.. exit the Houdini jacket .. crazy miraculous ...this incredible medecine of ayahuasca... hallelujah .. time to go home 🥳💝🥳💝
I wish I could help.. but all I can do is share my experience & offer you a few brick walls I smashed into.... hopefully these will help if you’re on “the path” NOT:) more like the side road into another dimension... bon voyage
There is no “1 800 let’s get this over with” in the healing journey - it’s a commitment to yourself that has no time - the healing evolves as emotions are released .. truth seen ..you’re are dismantled, dug up & replanted...it’s not your schedule ..if you’re doing ayahuasca don’t count on “any” schedule ..
Yes... Act one scene one was going on well before you arrived.. everyone was loaded with their own baggage ...just waiting... you’re like the billiard ball ready to be “acted upon” .. will you show up or disappear? Will they blossom or devour your.. who knows?? But if your ambushed the ayahuasca is the navy seal team to pull you out..
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How much of you is hidden? Your ego will proclaim NOTHING ..:) the AYahuasca will show you exactly how much ... & sometimes that’s a continents worth of “drag” ... who knew?? & Thank god.. the journey is treacherous magical & enlightening - next...
The unknown terrifies us so people use that fear to “idolize” it.. meditation plant medecines ... there’s a “holier than thou” pitch .. fugaadabout it.. embrace it.. humanize it.. make it yours .. yes anything new is “scary” - so is surgery but it doesn’t stop you from believing a “doctor”... go make the world your & let it heal you ...
Shedding keeps you flowing.. egos don’t want to budge.. like the stock market they like predictable safety .. but if trauma owns even a tiny part of your energetic real estate you will stay stuck .. the sandcastle that refuses to be transformed by the wave will suffer.. shed!
Once you start dissolving fear will show up.. your beliefs melting you will enter other dimensions .. keep dissolving ...you will be scared you will continue to trust & be healed ..
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The path is never really clear..how it starts .. where you’re going.. it takes you..this is a look back at the map that now begins to make sense .. a little bit for now on a journey that started with “the perfect life:)
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In the world of trauma you’re “wrong” “unacceptable” - if you’re being hurt the message is “it’s you” - you need to change to accommodate them .. the ayahuasca will reveal your authenticity.. will love & accept all of “your” truth so you can live “that”
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In the end we want that sweet infinite taste of love.. vulnerable unconditional eternal divine.. to bathe in its infinite glory.. in trauma it is shut down and locked away.. the ayahuasca guides you too it after you’ve crossed the moat:)
The way home is the way back to love .. yes horrific things happened .. ( I pretended they didn’t) but it’s not the horror that’s the hell its the eviction from love ... the ayahuasca is the great guide back through the darkness.. stick close to her & she will return you home
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If you’re in .. you can’t be half in.. the ayahuasca is going to take you deep into the wound - the mission is “expose & expel” - however long, deep... dark .. none of it can be excused organized .. half chewed .. every inch must be scoured ... every speck of darkness dynamited ... go in go deep .. shine bright :)
You never wanted it to be “that” which is why you’re always running from “it”... you will never want the “truth” - it’s got nothing to do with your magnificently manufactured self - the ayahuascas dynamite is the gift ..
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You have a zillion bacteria crawling in every orifice that you can’t see keeping you alive .. when you enter other dimensions you will meet the “cheers” crowd of darkness & demons that fuel off your fear.. go in with the light of love & meet them.. the ayahuasca is the great guide to everything you never knew existed in your energetic realm
If you’re looking for a little fun.. don’t do this medecine... there’s not a single moment of “fun” - it’s a nuclear explosion that will tear you down .. there’s nothing politically correct or even “correct” about it.. it will drag you screaming & kicking & you will resist.. & then you won’t & you will know a love that you have never known in any universe Evaaa:)
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Trauma creates energetic wormholes - traps - that are fueled by trauma ... they will take you without you knowing - the ayahuasca defuels them & gives you clarity .. once in you can ease out gracefully .. the more you do it the more of you is recovered
When you’re parachuted in to your family you’re ready for a space .. but in trauma the stage is overcrowded .. there is no space for you.. you’re tossed into a spin cycle that started way before you arrived .. there’s nothing to do here other than leave
We give everything so much fuel - our identity ( the armor) & the unknown ( the shadow) - once all the truth is revealed... it will lose all its power ..then what .. who knows .. but at least your off the cliff face
Somebody lobs a Molotov cocktail into your life if there abuse.. you will shatter everywhere & build a crust.. a thick crust of refusal... once you begin to melt the crust you can put all the pieces back together
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Ayahuasca will guide you through hell to love ... you will encounter the darkest night the writhing evil.. you will be terrified .. but she will cushion it with her love .. she will guide you & chastise you .. but love you like a fierce mother protecting her child..
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Trauma puts us on a leash.. we think we’re free .. distracting.. anxious .. always looking for “the fix” .. but we’re terrified & at the mercy of “it” - you choose ... & you can .. to topple it.. there’s no choice .. it’s your life ... do it .. with all the fierce love your little child deserves... go find them .. go bring them home & finally be free
You’ll reach a crossroads .. love or fear? At some point the tipping point .. the bucket will be overflowing with love & the fear .. the dungeon keeper will be drowned in the overflow of live .. you have to choose...
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If you’re up to facing your dragon .. it will threaten you.. of course it’s a dragon that is unloved .. & held you captive .. so keep moving into its threats... over & over .. its just a ploy to keep you imprisoned .. smile love .. accept it & keep embracing it💖💖
You won’t know the path... say yes.. to knowing nothing .. let her take you home on her time - the ayahuasca will take you .. don’t resist ...
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Returning home is an unknown .. you cannot map the journey.. it will happen with “you” - the person refused will finally show up once the veil has been removed .. it’s unsettling .. new... & unknown .. that’s the sacrifice in coming home ... not knowing the route
Hey whatever your distraction addiction it’s just covering up seeing the pain & the truth... but you are oh sooo much bigger better & stronger - it can never own you.. you just have to sit it down & FACE it .. you can because all of you is DIVINE
The microscope of ayahuasca .. the X-ray of yourself in another dimension ...
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If you want to “leave” ie leave your own code you have to dive into the underworld of your psyche & encounter the goblins that Keep you coded & it’s not happening in this dimension ..
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The greatest thing you can do is to commit to the ayahuasca .. she will return the gift a 1000 fold
Yep.. the evil is sitting on your house... the abuser is your parent... you spend your whole life making amends for the predator.. perhaps you have refused it.. you were a child.. you’re holding the secret ..crack the code NOW
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The inward journey is not just about healing it’s about owning EVERYTHING that’s rightly yours.. YOU with all the goodies in the divinity goodie bag.. it’s worth every demon every crazy goblin on the way in.. go get it!
It’s take courage to go meet your dungeon keeper .. or the evil that lays hidden .. ayahuasca will guide you home & YES you survive the journey 🥳🥳every time.. just surrender
You can run but the demons will eventually catch up & smother you...obese from being refused ..don’t get flattened .. bring your torches & light up the shitshow...time to move on
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Yes... you & only you can go in & heal everything.... the ayahuasca is your torch.. she’ll take you back if you’re ready to heal .. be the warrior you have surging you.
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The return from ayahuasca & the deepening of the journey
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Once the journey begins .. you will surrender & be terrified .. I was terrified every minute ..& then I met the ayahuasca ...
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Once you’ve finally decided that “it’s” not working or the universe casually throws you off a cliff - you will find the first door inward - mine was meditation - this is about the power of meditation to clarify your path
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