Lalapolalaa Newb: Recent Episodes
Lalapolalaa Newb
Finding my ways to what things I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. It has never been easy, since wanting to achieve true happiness comes with big challenges. I'm just grateful for what I've achieved so far and hope for the best to whatever things I'll encounter in future.
Company Ground Updates:- Phase 3 to production (test phase still)- product multiple adds & overwrite- product's variant new fields (coming soon - waitlist feature, show in catalogue & search)- delivery time mapper (Prefix SKU formula based - supplier prefix)- catalogue banner updates- sub banner updates- discount additional message (giving out free stuff instead of adjusting discount behavior to support single SKU discount)- new pages created (Press Highlight, Pillow Comparison, New Arrival)Personal Gigs- new pages (Report, Landing)- update MLM points levels award (support for future use)- create bypass verification process when registering (temporary)- product module creation in progressPersonal Growth- learning new language. Not allocating any time. New routine makes me tired most of the time.
-
currently full time job tasks at hand & whats gonna be in future
-
self-build system update
-
client-based system update
-
new job opportunity arises
-
a bunch of pending stuff
-
able to figure out how to implement MLM feature into the system correctly
Current comp updates:
- :-)
Side gigs updates:
-
put a hold doing Order & User permission modules
-
switching to TailwindCSS
New tech test:
-
edge functions
-
$ rpc
Things won't go as expected sometimes. We just have to be prepared & workaround it somehow. That's what I always say to myself till this day.
We've been delaying doing shoot & taking marketing content for about 3 months now. So much happen during those time already. Now finally able to make them.
Started doing web development process right now. Things are moving quite slow & steady. Cause I'm code this by myself. Hahah.
But still on track, I think...
Although I'm a bit bored since I'm just doing what I already know currently. I do feel happy since I'm able to finally get involve in the industry that I want. Really hope this journey could be something meaningful for me.
Still in process of making things work well with each other. Kinda challenging since all have to be in Typescript which I myself very new to it. Hopefully able to make them work by today & can move on the next step.
I know setup process sometimes feel tedious depending on the complexity of your project. But it got more harder when we have to do it using language or libraries that we yet learn. Or learn & apply them at the same time. That's what we gonna do this week. hehe
Starting to upload Youtube videos again starting next week. Hope this time can see the end of it. Hahah
It's quite hard. Since I don't know how exactly the data gonna looks as. I just take a guess & later will have to modify them accordingly once I got the exact data.
Yet another tricky logic I've to create for our custom stepper component. It took me quite a bit of time to make it work. Still got some part need to be amended or updated later.
Yeah. It's quite hard for me to read or go through other programmers' code. Especially when it's not in the same framework and language. I bet every programmers will face this kind of issue some time in their life. However, things can be a lot easier when you've colleagues that can support you.
We're expected to finish this system by end of this June. I'm doing my best to complete all UI & any related logics for making the UI works as soon as possible. Took upon myself to handle the most biggest part of the features & pages. I also have to create & update system documentation along the way. Make it easier for the other developers that will be joining later sometime this upcoming week.
Done so much on the custom components creation this week. Bit of the largest portions of UIUX have been done to some of the pages also. I'm gonna continue this pace to the rest of next week & hopefully able to finish all UIUX part before begin to implement APIs into all these pages.
This is my way of pre-setupping a new project. Do the backbone features first like authorization, state management, database & server setup. After that, we should do any custom components to accommodate every variations that it has. Then, do every page UI & lastly incorporate actual data to that all that UIs.
Integrating live chat into the website is not the challenging part of this. But learning how to use their dashboard kinda hard actually. I'm still learning it tho.
I don't know why I just really don't like debugging someone else work. Actually I don't mind if I've some kind of reference of what I'm have to debug. Like previous documentation of said issue or whatnot. That would help me a lot & save a lot of time. But most just don't have it. That's why it's tedious job when trying to debug someone else work. Really not fun.
There's still one feature left we need to do before pushing everything to production. After that's done. We're ready to make the system live!
I've learn so much regarding devops stuff while doing this project. Especially about containerization with docker & CICD process with Gitlab. Previously, on my own project, every time there's an update that I need to push to production. I need to manually pull it from within the server itself. And the pre-setup server process also takes time and not flexible for the long run. WIth docker, everything changed now. Easy server pre-setup process, project get updated with CICD runner installed in server & dynamically change whatever services I want to include in my project with docker images & containers.
I'm actually looking forward to learn more bout writing a linux script file after this. SImple script file running a bash command is easy. I'm talking about using function, loops and etc in there as well. The reason why I wanna do this is because I wanna send an email to my own gmail and get the status of my server's cpu, ram, storage usages & docker services status as well. Then put them in excel which later can be sent using mailutils package. Or using discord bot.
Anyway, that's all for this week update guys!
I'm currently learning how to use docker or containerization with gitlab pipeline. Why? I want to know the best way of how one can automate deployment of production ready website. Previously, I've to do a lot of setup on the server itself. Now, I just need to install docker & import any environment files use on the web itself. Other than that, all are being configured using docker. Much neater right? I'm really glad I've a great seniors that don't mind sharing what they know with me. If not, it will take much longer time before I can actually use this method on my own project.
Yup. I guess we have to wait another week to finally able to finish the web. But, the thing that excites me the most is the fact that I learned a lot about docker & containerization for the past few days. I'm able to test it myself on my own project and it works! Currently I'm trying to make use gitlab's registry & CICD to containerize my application project, mysql db & nginx webserver.
Yup. This current project is a small project actually. I already finished most of my part except the Live Chat feature. After that, I'm gonna start doing the pre-setup processes, same as this one to our new upcoming project. That should speed up our work progress by a good margin actually.
For this project, I'm given the opportunity to setup this project however I want. And have been told to do the same for the upcoming project. Because of that, I kinda busy currently since I've, to not just do the documentation for the setup that I've done. I also have to, from time to time, do a short meeting with other coworkers that handling the same project. To give them some sort of a startup guide on how to use some of the features I've brought or introduced into the project. That way, they will have a better understanding of the setup themselves.
Anyway guys, Happy New Year! Let's do our best & worst this year. JK
It's been more than 6 months I've done this audio podcast regarding the updates of every week of my employment. This episode I'm gonna do a bit of recap how I can to get this job, how I handle it & how I'm planning to continue moving forwards. Hope everything went meaningful for you. And will keep on being like that for the rest of our lives.
We just started a new project few days ago. This is exciting for me since I'm trying to use Next12 with latest version of MUI. Currently, I just use the stater Nextjs project from MUI github page. As of now, this starter project can't work with React18 just yet. Haha.
Yeah, I know it's still early for that since both Next12 & React18 features are still not yet stable. One still in alpha stage. The other one in beta stage. I just hope I can test any real project using these new features. Unlucky me.
Anyway, we still got 2 more projects incoming. So maybe they will be ready by that time. Hopefully.
Yup. Honestly I just don't care. Employers cannot expect their employees to care & work hard as them. It just won't makes any sense~
Yeah. We've two different themes being used since we've 2 portals created in one project. I don't know why in the first place we went and did something like that. Some parts of our UI just can't behave correctly maybe due to CSS being conflicted. One portal use Material UI theme, and the other one use Ant Design theme. As for the portal that use Ant Design theme, we got the global styling specified in two different file extensions, which are Less & CSS. Both are created by different developers to support their workflow. That also could somehow contribute to the same problem I think. I just hope that we able to finish this all by this month.
Yeah. We currently applying the new updated UI. It's going to take a bit of time since, on some pages the UI got change very much. Hence we have to change the current logic/s that we already applied on that pages. Right now, one of our developers currently creating a custom components. Once she finishes her parts, then we will use the components to make sure everything got synchronized and same across the portal.
Yeah. We still finalizing things this week. Next week, we will focus on the BSS (Business Support System) & OSS (Operational Support System) on one of the old portal we've.
Since we implement a new work flow, starting from this month, on every end of month, basically the last week of every month. We have to finalize every tasks given within that month. Any outstanding tasks that are not yet finalize or finished, then we will need to bring them up to the next month. That's what we are doing this week.
It is what it is. 2 of our main developers handling a project resign from their position. The last day for one of them was on Friday and the other one will be on the upcoming Monday. We just knew about this on the last Thursday. Why didn't they tell us sooner?
Everyone hired a full stack developer cause they want them to handle everything. I mean literally everything from the front-end, back-end & dev ops, basically everything until the system LIVE & operable. We get that! But those title should have matching compensation aka salary. We can do the work. But that doesn't mean we will do it. Unless we get paid more. Plus it's ludicrous to ask a full stack developer that currently handling a project that used, let's say, JAVA based program (desktop application) from the front-end, back-end & dev ops stuff to handling another project that used totally different language like maybe JavaScript Web based application simultaneously. Crazy huh?
There always gonna be work. When holiday came, we should just rest & spend our time for whatever that we want to. It surely don't have to be about work. If you want to do them, then it's okay. If that's how you wanna spend your time. Just know that you don't have to. Unless you're the business owner yourself. That's a different story then~
We just have too. Since we work for somebody else, where we don't have the power to have a say in it. We just need to be prepared. It is what it is.
Don't know what to write here. I'm not a good writer. And also not a good speaker. But I'll try my best to improve that. Anyway, you're welcome to listen the episode to know more.
Sometimes people said you've to just do whatever your company wants you to do. Yeah, it could makes you be someone important. But you don't know that for sure, right? We don't have any control of that. Only the company does. So that's why I think its good for you to be firm on your stand or belief. Mine? I want to focus myself on React framework. Both for web & mobile app. That's why I won't do any Java code for desktop app. And might also won't do native android app using Java. That's not what I'm trying to aim. The reason is because even if I've to do that, it's not that they will pay me more, right? Same salary for more jobs or more techs to learn. Just know that we are replaceable.
Yeah. It is what it is. Most company will definitely looks after itself first before their employees. That's why not everything that the company does it's good for you all. You should be the one who knows how to differentiate which is which. If you don't, ask someone who you can trust or you will be played by your company later if you don't. Just my 2cents.
Yup. It's true since I've been waiting for this. This one of things on my list that I want to learn and get good with it.
For the rest of the months in this year, we (my team & I) are expected to finish two more projects. One web & one mobile app. I'm actually looking forward to start doing the mobile app asap. I've been eager to learn them anytime now. Anyway, I thinking of spending this weekends starting to learn about mobile app development using React Native on my own first. Before we or I actually build one for the company.
Anyhow, I hope you guys are doing well too. If not, just keep on grinding, find & do what you love. You can never gain back the time you've spent doing something for someone else or just plainly doing nothing. But, we can always try our best occupying our time now doing something that we actually like. Just my two cents tho. Bye guys!
To future me, if you at that time have work in a lot of company other than this or still work at this company. Please hear this. I wanna know what you think of this during your current time or with the experience you have right now.
I just have one thing to say. Do a proper documentation. Make it easier for everyone else to do their job properly.
There's a lot of time where I feel like having a proper documentation could really speed up our process of doing our work. Especially when doing 'bugs fixing' on other people code.
I've to admit that this is true to some level. But that doesn't mean you can't do anything about it. There always gonna be a way or two you could improve your workflow even if you can't directly speak or communicate with someone. That's why for me, knowing how document everything correctly could save others than wasting their time doing something that they shouldn't be doing in the first place. This is just my 2cents by the way. Everyone got their way of doing things.
After a while working here, I thought I wouldn't get any chance learning something new or just basically doing something fun. But this week I got them. Even if it's not something big, but enough not make me feel bored. I'm not gonna lie. I do feel bored from time to time. But this is how work life is. You don't get to do what you love if you're working in a field or environment that you don't exactly like.
I truly believe that if wanna get like a better salary option later, you need to educate yourself to always be learning something new or improve yourself in the area that you already good at. Later, if you want to find a new environment or wanting to climb up to a better position, it would be much easier for you to do so.
Yo guys!
Hope you guys doing fine. This week I got just a little update regarding the work itself. Everything now just basically doing the same thing over & over again. But, that actually depending on your knowledge and skill. If you know a lot, then there's not so much new things you able to learn, right? For me, I still have a long way to go. And the job itself still excites me everyday whenever I get & do any tasks. It will stay that way until I get what I want at least.
So guys, happy working!
You guys know the feelings of trying to center a div and not able to get it right even after a while of testing and researching on google of what could be the reason as to why is it not working?! That's how I feel every time when I do the UI. It's not like I've to come up with the design of the system. It's just that for me, doing the UI is very tedious thing and you won't get a clue whenever you did it wrong. But, when you do the back-end, all the API stuff and the server, you will know for sure when you make a mistake. With that, at least you got some message saying something that you don't actually know, but you can still search for it. And hopefully able to understand them, then later able to fix them.
This is just a preference. Different people like to do different thing. Yours might or sure gonna be different from what I want. Nothing wrong with that. But not acknowledging could later give you a big headache of having to cover up everything by yourself until you get worn up. Don't do that guys. Just be yourself.
Yup! Already in my third week working as a Full Stack developer. Still till now, I'm not yet feel bored. Got lots of things that I need to learn and get familiar with. Right now, we are doing the customer part of the web app using NextJS environment. Once we finished that, we gonna move on to the React Native part of the system. Eager to learn bout that too!
This week I learnt new stuff instead of just coding something that I already knew how. We currently in the phase of building the customer part of the system using NextJs. Soon we will start on coding the mobile app version of the system. I honestly don't yet know when that's gonna be. Nevertheless, I'm just excited since I get to learn new stuff and have confidence that most of my codes were actually production ready.
Anyway, third week podcast is coming. This one will be a funny story to tell. Make sure you guys are here to hear them
This will be my 1st episode for the season 3 of this Full Stack Wannabe Series. Mainly the topic would be anything regarding my experience working first time as a full stack developer. Hop on if you guys in the same process or progress as me. Let me know how your first week went.
I've been planning to get a job since the beginning of becoming this full stack developer. Have been at it almost a year now or maybe more than that already. Finally, able to land the job. Will be starting by tomorrow morning. How long you might ask? I don't know. My aim is to get better at full-stack development. If being there able to shape me into that, then I will be staying long. Just until I get what I aim for and if I don't feel bored. :-p Anyway, let's just hope for the best!
For you guys, I hope you guys in better situation than I am right now during this covid pandemic. Just don't give up, stop blaming yourself & keep moving forward!
It has been almost 3 months solid I didn't do any major changes to my Full-stack development endeavor. But luckily, I'm still able to tweak a thing or two here and there on my Portfolio V4 that should be live now. Unfortunately, there are some problem arises in production mode. In development mode (before doing npm run build), everything works just fine. I've tested a bunch of ways to tackle this problem of mine. But till now, no avail. Right now, I'm prioritizing learning the authentication process again. Hopefully, this newest portfolio version 4, could be published before mid of this year.
Once you have taught yourself how to do business. It's hard not to do them again when an opportunity comes. Calling for you to do something with it and make something happen. For me at least, the feeling of having total control over how I want to spend my time (my life actually), the way I want it to be - I always feel like I could never achieve it by just working for other people. I have tried it many times. Each time could last only up to 3 months max. I kept on thinking what business should I do or try next with what I've learned through all these experiences. From time to time, I came up with a bunch of ideas and test them out to see whether it can go far & beyond or not. Now, I think this could be it. But who knows right? If it isn't what I thought it could become, then I will try my best to do something else until I find my way into the life that I so dreamed of.
Deep dive into hurdles occurred during the past 3 weeks into year 2021. Why my Portfolio V4 still not finish yet & what I've decided to do for the rest of this year 😁
There's a lot of things I wish I could've done this year. You might feel the same way too. When we look back, sometimes we just feel lazy to do anything. Or other things should matter more than this & that. Maybe if I wasn't so lazy, will I be more than what I am today? I don't know about you guys. But at least for me, this year have been so hectic & productive. I learn so much & try a lot of new, never before things that I personally haven't done or even think of doing them before. It's exciting & scary at the same time. Though, some of my to do list I weren't able to finish them. Instead I learn something else that can help me grow more in return.
I hope you guys have a meaningful and satisfied time spent throughout this year as I am. Let's hope that this upcoming year would be more meaningful for us all. Happy New Year guys & gals!
At last, after almost 1 year learning to be a full stack developer. It's time for me to look for a job. Preferably landing a job as Software Engineer or Full Stack Developer.
This gonna be quite a challenge for me as I don't have any prior job experiences related to this field. Except my internship 3 years ago during my college days. After that, I've been freelancing and doing a lot of odd jobs.
Anyway, this journey was never been about anybody else but me. Searching for what should I do with my life this whole time always have been my top priority. I just feel excited and anxious at the same time. The more I stumbled, the more things I get to learn and reflect on it. What left to do is just keep hustling until I get to where I needed to be. :-)
Let's just try our best then!
It could be something good & bad at the same time in my opinion. If you are in the middle of learning new things, then over engineered is good. There's no 'too much' when in the process of learning something. The more you know, the better you gonna get.
So that's where I'm right now. If I always just gonna feel like it's enough. Then, I won't get to learn a lot of new things in depth. And do it correctly. Instead, all my work gonna be left like just enough. That's why I put all my efforts when doing something. Even when learning new things. So when the time comes for me to build a website, I want it to be a very awesome website than just a website.
Anyway, this is just my way of doing it. Yours could be different. My advice would be, learn at your own pace. You're not competing with anyone else but yourself. So be yourself and embrace it dearly :-)
There were a lot of things which I think I wish I knew about them back when I was a student. But among all those, I keep on wondering what if I knew just some of the most beneficial out of many. Will my life be in much better place than where I am right now? No one's know. Cause I've never been there myself.
However you might be different. If you're still a student yourself. Then this might be the most important thing that could ever happened to you. You be the judge of it.
Nevertheless, I'm grateful of the way I am right now. Still hoping and try my best at everything that I do.
Anyway, I hope this could be your it for the next remaining years of being a student. Or maybe even after you make your own life after this. Happy learning guys!
Guys! I'm taking back what I said earlier in the previous episode regarding the current looks of my Portfolio Version 4 being suck. Just wanna told you guys that. No need to listen to the podcast. Unless you love hearing my voice or listen to me talking about my life. :-D. Love you guys!
-
Update regarding recent learning process of React Front-end Framework & GraphQL.
-
Sharing thoughts on how everyone could be a teacher or basically share knowledge or valuable information at any stage they are right now.
This is just my 2 cents. Anyway, keep-up on doing things that you love. It's definitely gonna take time to achieve that. But, don't give up guys. Just keep moving forward and don't beat yourself up too much. :-)
You can't deny that this is very true. Doesn't matter what it is. As long as it is new. Then definitely it's gonna be exciting right?
Right now, I'm very excited to learn more about React and what it can do for my future web app designs. It has been like 3 days since I started learning them and I already know much about it. Currently in the middle of building my 4th version of my portfolio using this React front-end framework. And it works like a charm :-D.
Just some insight on where i am right now learning to be a full stack developer wise and what I'm planning to do for the last 3 months of this year.
ps: the last minutes of this podcast audio, I'm talking over a heavy rain on my side. Pardon the noise on the background. :-D
It doesn't matter whether it's for business or personal achievement when it comes to "todo's". You might not have one for both of the options.
Why?
Then you should start diagnose and asking yourself why would you not have one at all.
There's a lot of reasons why you should start you own business now actually. But mine were actually not so entertaining :-p. Nevertheless, if it could give someone the idea of why they should start ASAP. Then, I think it's a good think for me to share some of my experience how did I start my own business 3-4 years ago. Hope it helps those who in need. :-)
Learning to code a website from the scratch itself already have been very exciting journey for me. But this time, I'm able to setup my own live server to host a multiple website of my own creation, just blow my mind of how I finally managed to do it right. This is my 2 cents - start now and don't procrastinate cause you won't know what you capable of until you try. :-)
I always knew that starting up business is not easy. Have been trying to do it since my college days. The main and only reason why is it hard is because of sustainability. Even if I were able to do it for 1 week or 1 month. That does not mean I can survive doing it with the same method, same thing all over again if I don't have planning on how to manage it for a long period of time. This time, I do it differently. I make myself ready for expansion, ready for changes, new methods and ideas. So that when the time actually comes for me to decide which one I should go the best, I would just pick any of it and won't waste my time dwelling and thinking what could the other ways benefit me. I would just keep moving forward with the lessons I've learned or will learn in the future. That's what I will be doing for the rest of my life.
For me I think the best way to learn something new is to decide fast, don't dwell on failures, don't give up and just moving forward. Let go your fear of losing or failing, embrace them instead, and hopefully you will get enlighten by new ways of life.
I need to be strong and get familiar with failure. And not be upset when things actually failing.
My Portfolio V3 postpone again! 😅 But no worries. I got great news to tell you guys. 😁 Hope on and listen to them. Who knows it can bring values to you guys. Hopefully 😉
Little updates on my Portfolio V3. Most of the updates on the E-Commerce project itself. Happy listening :-)
Will be postponing the completion of my Portfolio V3 for the time being. Anyhow, I have great news! New project in motion. Will be LIVE this Monday. Can't wait to see how people or potential customer respond to this. I hope it's gonna be good.
Just know how to explain it in more details after looking at the code. Hope you guys understand. 😅
Blog implementation complications. Explaining why didn't I include Blog section into my previous and current version of my Portfolio Website. And how can I adjust and mannuver my code around that.
New updates to inform you guys in this audio podcast. Documenting my progress at becoming a Full Stack Developer. The link to my first series of sharing session or tutorial videos on Learning How to Code JavaScript Properly on my YouTube channel (https://youtu.be/UcSg9OXRqMo). The links to my Portfolios Website (Portfolio V2 - lalapolalaanewb.com | Portfolio V1 - lalapolalaanewb.github.io). Hope you guys all in good health and as always, thanks for listening. Until next time. Chao! Salam.
Update on my future planning as a freelance developer. How I think I'm gonna make money doing what I loved. And why I decided to do this all.
Finally able to implement EJS package even though this just the beginning 😜. Troubleshooting what could go wrong while applying it and able to make it work at last.
This year we gonna have a very different yet unique Ramadan because of the pendamic. Anyway, I just wanna wish you guys all the best and always safe and healthy.
Finally finished the Budget Web App and able to push it to the Github here, htpps://github.com/lalapolalaanewb/Budget-2.0/. You guys can have a look at it if you want. Thanks! 😁
Use of Event Delegation to handle Logout action. And before I forgot, here is the link to the Udemy JavaScript Course from the YouTuber that I learned from, https://www.udemy.com/course/the-complete-javascript-course/. And btw, don't mind this episode picture. Lazy to get more related pic to today's topic. Haha 😁
10 US dollars everyday target. Update regarding paid online tasks you can do to get extra 💰 or side income 😁
Doing what you love is hard. It was never easy to begin with. I know that. But that never stop me from sometimes, from time to time get stressed and depressed along the way. I'm not perfect. Just a human being. Like all of you. I'm here to be the best version of me and not regret of not trying at all.
Finally know about API and what make it different from just normal system that made up from front-end and back-end and also client side and server side.
Sharing with you guys a site that pay you once you complete tasks provided by the site. But there's a catch before you able to start getting paid. Have a listen then 😁
Perks of having a job from home. 2 ways of my knowing how to get side income doing jobs from home.
Just sharing with you guys my thoughts on how I live my life and what I do on my free time.
A little side story how I came about doing some side business with my uncle. And why did I go with WordPress Website instead of building one from the scratch since I'm a website developer. Isn't that what I do?
Implementing localStorage and sessionStorage in my Budget Web App project and see what's work and what's not. And a little bit info about side business I do with my uncle.
Updating about JSON Web Token. Create a custom Header in Node.js and understanding CORS (Cross Origin Resource Sharing) to be applied and use with Token-based approach.
Discussing about token-based approach specifically regarding JWT (JSON Web Token) and session-based approach. Which one would be suitable for my current test project.
Intro on what I've been doing for the last few months and what I'll be doing for the rest of the months this year.
Telling you guys what makes ME and how did I went to know I should do ME instead of anything else 😁
Discussing on whether it's possible or not for the kids nowadays to self taught themselves some programming as compared to those who growing up in the 80's or 90's
Know how much each cert value nowadays and how you can apply for a better job (tips and tricks). Additional self business sharing session particularly about digital marketing and how it can benefits you as a new business owner or 'new' to online/digital marketing.
Updates on course that will be uploaded on Skillshare. Reasons why such course could be for you and what could you expect when enrolling to this course. Help this might help you with your endeavors of self managing your own website!
Just sharing my updates on my 1st cheque I got last time. And new updates on upcoming story I'll be telling you guys in this year 2020 😁. Hope you enjoy listening.
It's been a while since I got my paycheck doing my own business. I stopped for like one full year doing something else. Then now, I decided to start it all again and got my first ever paycheck through 'cheque'? What am I supposed to do with this? 😅
The things that I believed since I was a kid, and I'm really much appreciated that I able to realize and re-engineered it ASAP.
Unbelievable thoughts and presumptions that I made when trying to help someone that have different skin's color than mine, terrify me the most since I've never thought myself to be racist.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don't listen to other people's judgements. Toxicity just will do you no good. Cast it out guys.
You can be anything you want to be. The choice is yours. Don't let other people's POV & JUDGEMENT dictates your ACTION or DECISION MAKING. BE YOURSELF and be HAPPY.