Parshas Nitzavim: Life Love Life

(Dedicated to a refuah shelaima for Chaya Sofya Sara bas Mera)

With Yom HaDin (the Day of Judgement) imminently upon us, the end of Parshas Nitzavim is, one might say, rather comforting. Love Hashem and live… More specifically: “To love Hashem, you God, to listen to His voice, and to cleave to Him because He is your life and the length of your days” (Devarim 30:20).

This should not be difficult. One should logically be able to easily recognize that Hashem provides for all of our needs, and this should be the natural source of love. It seems so simple, as does what would be the obvious next step: Since we love Hashem, we want to do His will, and so we listen to Him and cleave to Him.

For something so simple, it is taking an awfully long time to achieve success. Generations of men and women have come and gone, and we still await the day when the majority of us succeed at loving Hashem on this fundamental level.

The key to this puzzle is the previous pasuk, when Moshe calls upon the heavens and the earth to witness the covenant, and he tells Bnei Yisrael: “Life and death I have placed before you, the blessing and the curse. And you shall choose life in order that you will live, you and your descendants” (30:19).

What does it mean to choose life so that you will live, why is love the key?

Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe (Rav Wolbe on Chumash 2, Rabbi Yitzchak Caplan) notes that “serving Hashem with ‘love and favor’ is reserved solely for humans.’ He compares this to how it is pointed out in Bircas Krias Shema (the blessings of the Shema) that all of Hashem’s creatures do His will with “fear and trepidation.” Rav Wolbe explains that the human ability to love is what sets us apart. Animals may have loyalty and faithfulness, but it is different than love.

Love is, perhaps, the most complex emotion. We crave to have it and we crave to give it because, I think, ideally love is the absolute balance of give and take. Finding that balance, however, is not easy. For individuals, every relationship has a different dynamic that strives to create that balance, which, even when achieved, remains precarious.

Hashem is asking Bnei Yisrael for eternal love, for maintaining the balance of give and take forever. Hashem’s giving is the ultimate give – it’s life. It isn’t just food, clothing, and shelter. It isn’t just breathing and thinking. It is more than ease in this world or happiness. If one can get to that ultimate balance, to true ahavas Hashem, one will be able to view the world in a completely new way, to rise above the physical and thus truly live.

What is the take to achieve that balance? What is it that Hashem wants from us in this give and take? Hashem wants us to want it fully. He wants us to want to take all that He gives properly, with joy and gratitude.

It sounds easy, but the balance of love becomes unbalanced when one feels forced. The balance of give and take becomes unbalanced when one side feels as if they are indebted to the other. It no longer feels like love, it feels like obligation.

This is perhaps the root of why the simple mitzvah of loving Hashem is so incredibly difficult. We think of being a taker as being something negative. But when we take something properly, something given out of love, we are not actually taking. Rather, we are receiving. Being a receiver – accepting what is given in love – is an extremely powerful act of giving. But if we feel we are taking or if we feel we are being forced to receive, we resist. Then we seek to claim our might and our autonomy, because it proves that we are not a taker.

This is why Moshe challenges the people with the need for bachira, the need to choose. To ...