How do you navigate shame? What is shame? How do you have resilience and keep living fully? These are all questions we discuss today on the podcast with Melanie Bledsoe certified life coach with JRNI, virtual entrepreneur, and co-founder of The Red Bow Project.

Timestamp:

3:00 The Red Bow Project- founders took their greatest pain and turned it into their greatest purpose

(a community for single moms, blended families and so much more)

4:25 What is shame? Brene Brown’s definition

5:25 Shame makes you feel flawed and small

5:42 Shame spirals

7:22 What does shame look like? Shame triggers (social media, body image issues, happy families, women who can do all things)

8:45 We are raised in a society where women should do it all

11:33 Social media “skim coats” real life, giving it the perfect filter

12:00 What is your most passionate topic to connect with women on?

12:55 Shame is when you sit in secrecy, silence and judgements – this causes tremendous anxiety

13:10 Who is your lantern? Your safe people to talk too

14:25 Description of lantern – it is a person that will not judge you but meet you with empathic listening ears

15:30 Real “lanterns” who up for you during the hard times in your life

17:17 Brene Brown’s imagery for shame is vivid –

Petri dish that is growing shame – if you add, secrecy, silience and judgment it will grow and fester - EMPATHY is the antidote for shame.

18:18 4 steps to Shame Resilience

Name it – Recognize your Shame Triggers

Talk about it

Own your Story

Tell your Story- speak about shame- take action

21:06 Raising emotionally intelligent boys – Boys are warned not to be emotional and sensitive

22:04 Name and Normalize emotion

24:00 Parents send mixed signals

25:08 Be a lantern for your child

28:30 When is a good time to contact a coach to set your goals?

29:43 Coaching is about setting goals

32:10 Shame Resilience Exercise

Exercise to start building shame resilience:

  1. Who do you become when you are backed into a shame corner?

  2. How do you protect yourself?

  3. Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry and hides or people pleasing?

  4. What is the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

shame #shameresilience #shametriggers #groundedthepodcastbyinspiringthyme #grounded #lifecoach #coaching #lanterns #safepeople

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