Chapter Two: Finding Rationality

It’s common knowledge that some fears are more rational than others, but we still feel the irrational fears nonetheless. Describing these fears as ‘irrational’ does not, however, mean to say that the fear is not ‘real’ or that it’s ‘wrong’ to feel such a fear.

Irrational fears tend to be personal to an individual and can often feel just as bad, if not worse than many fears which would be described as ‘rational’.

A big mistake that many people make is thinking that their ‘irrational’ fears are silly. When you are determining the causes of your fears, it’s crucial that you don’t overlook any fears which you think are not really a big deal or something that you shouldn’t really be scared of.

After all, it’s often the irrational fears which hold us back the most. Be kind to yourself, and be assured that no fears should be embarrassing – usually, there’s a good reason for why you feel them.

What are Rational Fears?

In general, a fear would be described as ‘rational’ if you have a good reason to be afraid. If something is going to cause harm to you or others or could even result in death, it’s perfectly rational to be afraid of it – think back to the charging bull example which we used in the introduction!

Rational fears are fears of real, possible consequences – fears of genuine danger. For example, a person with a fear of heights – or indeed even a person who isn’t scared of heights – would never jump of a high cliff, as such a jump could potentially be highly dangerous.

Some fears have a finer line between the rational and irrational. For example, if you are afraid of spiders this could be both rational or irrational depending on the type of spider. Whilst there are dangerous spiders in the world, for the most part spiders tend to be relatively harmless.

Once you have identified a spider as being harmless, any remaining fear of the particular spider becomes irrational. On the other hand, if a spider is identified as dangerous, it would be perfectly rational to be fearful of it.

Realness of Irrational Fears

When you are determining whether or not your fears are rational or irrational, it’s vital that you understand that irrational fears are no less real than their rational counterparts. No matter how irrational a fear may be, it still has the capacity to affect us in a physical way, causing shaking, nausea, sweating or shivering.

A big mistake that many people make is thinking that their irrational fears are ‘bad’ fears. Believing that irrational fears are ones which you should feel embarrassed to have is one of the biggest obstacles which could get in the way of your conquering your fears and overcoming them.

Because in order to truly overcome your irrational fears you will need to learn to accept them, feeling embarrassed of them will do nothing but hold you back. Instead, it’s crucial that you understand that there is nothing wrong with irrational fears; no matter how silly they may seem to you they are both normal and perfectly acceptable.

Understanding where your irrational fears come from is crucial to accepting them and learning not to be embarrassed or feel silly because of them.

For example, somebody who has been bitten by a spider and fallen ill as a result is well within their rights to develop a fear of spiders, even if it becomes irrational.

Shyness

Shyness is something which very often crosses the line of both the irrational and rational when it comes to fear. For example, a bullied schoolchild or employee may feel perfectly rational fear when speaking to a classmate or co-worker – the fear that they feel is backed up by their past experiences which prove that it almost always doesn’t end well.

However, what may well be rational arguments when approaching some people may become irrational with others.

Take for instance a child who is bullied at school – fear of speaking to the perpetrators may be completely rational, however it will become irrational when the child begins to feel fearful of speaking to almost anybody,

including people who have always treated them kindly.

Irrational fears very often start off as perfectly rational fears which eventually grow out of proportion and become irrational in many different situations. This is important to understand when you are determining which of your fears are rational and which are not.

For example, if you were teased as a child at school, your fears to speak to classmates then was both justified and rational. However, still experiencing this fear as an adult when speaking to co-workers or others who have never teased or made fun of you means that you fear has crossed the line over into the irrational.

Understanding that irrational fears often have a rational source is vital when you’re trying to develop a better knowledge of your fears in order to accept and conquer them.

Example – Public Speaking

The fact that many people fear public speaking more than they fear death is just one of the biggest examples of irrational fear. Experiencing physical responses such as uncontrollable shaking before speaking in public is the type of reaction which one would expect from a truly terrifying situation – for example, a parachute jump – and is clearly not a response which is either rational or helpful.

But, many people who do fear public speaking cannot help the way in which their body responds to the level of fear and anxiety which they feel.

Some fears and anxieties regarding public speaking are perfectly rational to feel. In short, fears of public speaking all tend to amount to one big issue – the idea that speaking in front of a person or group of people has the potential to seriously embarrass you and could even have an effect on your success or even your career.

If the people which you are speaking to hold an influential part in your life, the chance that you could perform in such a way that could cause these people to want to influence your life in a negative manner is a rational reason to be anxious.

However, this crosses the line when your anxiety begins to take control of you. Ironically, becoming too fearful of public speaking could end up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy and your fear could be the one major factor which causes you to perform badly and results in the one thing which you were afraid of – embarrassment.

Tackling Irrational Fears

When you begin to tackle your irrational fears, it’s vital to build up your confidence with baby steps. Looking back to the public speaking example, if you’re terrified of speaking in public it is probably not going to be of much use to you if you force yourself to make a speech or presentation in front of hundreds of people.

However, practicing in safe environments that have no consequences no matter how you perform can help you to build up your confidence and eradicate your fears. For example, speaking in front of supportive friends or family members can help you to realise that public speaking isn’t all that bad and provide you with the confidence that you need to speak in front of more important audiences.

Self-confidence is often the key to conquering fears such as the fear of public speaking, which is why it’s important to determine which fears stem from a lack of confidence in yourself. Then, work on your self- confidence – improving it will help you greatly when it comes to conquering this type of fear.

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