We all come into marriage with great expectations. She’ll always be impressed with me. She’ll always love my sense of humor. She’ll always feel this way about me. He’ll treat like a princess every day. He’ll always make me happy. He’ll always feel this way about me.

But then reality hits. When we don’t meet each other’s expectations, conflicts rise We can be disillusioned, wonder, “what happened to the person I married?” She’s not so impressed, stops laughing at your jokes. He treats you like a commoner. Your happiness is fading. You stop feeling butterflies in your stomach.

What happened? You started with great expectations. Were they the right ones? What if there are even greater expectations for marriage?

We are tempted to make ourselves god and our spouses an idol. • When we make marriage about us, focused on our wants, meeting our needs, we put ourselves in God’s rightful place. • When we expect our spouse to give us meaning, purpose, or fulfillment, we idolize them.

In his mercy, God shows us, that the opposite sex is a terrible substitute for God.

God designed marriage and sets his expectation for it as a reflection of Christ’s redemptive work to love and save his bride, the church.

Ephesians 5:22-27 Wives – willingly submit to your husband, just as you submit to Christ Husbands – show Christ’s self-giving love to your wives

Love and respect. Submission and headship. Submit and sacrifice. These are greater expectations than the ones you brought into your marriage.

These are not just about getting what you want out of marriage, but the idea that marriage has an even greater and eternal purpose: to glorify Jesus Christ for his selfless love for us that he served us, sacrificed for us, and gave so personally.

When we go against God’s design and make our marriages about what we can get out of them, we make marriage something far less than it was designed for. When we try to squeeze meaning, significance, or purpose out of our spouse, we forsake God and make our spouse miserable.

How do we make Jesus Christ the focal point of marriage? • Repent from making your marriage only about your own happiness • Realize that God created marriage and has a design for it • Recognize that the goal of your marriage is to glorify God

Ephesians 5:28-31 Husbands and wives are to submit to Jesus Christ and love and serve each other • Wives, willingly submit to your husband o As to the Lord (v. 22) o For the husband is head of the wife (v. 23) o As the church submits to Christ (v. 24) • Husbands, love your wives o As Christ loved the church (v. 25)  Giving himself – personally and sacrificially  “For her” benefit o As his own body (v. 28)  Nourishing and cherishing her  See “love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev 19:18) • His wife is his nearest and dearest neighbor That there might be oneness between husband and wife (Gen 2:24).

v. 31. In describing the love of a husband for his wife, Paul intertwines the creation ordinance, a command from the Law, and the redemptive work of Christ. • The creation ordinance of oneness of marriage (v. 31, Gen 2:24) • The great commandment to love your neighbor as yourself (v. 28; Lev 19:18) • The redemption by Christ of his bride and his body, the church (v. 25)