Martin Luther called this a Haustafel, ‘house-table’ or ‘rules for the household’ Rules for relationships at home: husbands/wives, parents/children, master/servant Pattern: role, command, motivation The motivation here is not the state, not pop psychology, - but reverence for Christ – to follow Christ’s example. Live out what Christ has done in your life – especially in your home.

Ephesians 5:22-33 V. 22. Previous section ends: “submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.” The subject of submission is wildly unpopular, often watered down. Paul writes within the church, we should submit to each other. Consider others’ needs more important than your own.

Why does Paul addresses wives first? Perhaps the idea is that if a woman is unwilling to submit, it doesn’t matter if her husband is George Patton or George Washington, or some guy named George. Your husband cannot lead if you refuse to follow.

It does not mean that the wife has no voice in her home Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way… so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1Pet3.7a,c)

It does not mean that she is less important role or has less value The verb used here is used of Jesus Christ, our Lord too.

Motivation for the Love of a Husband and Respect of a Wife Wives Submit to Your Husbands • The motivation is out of reverence for Christ Husbands Love your Wives • The motivation is the sacrificial love Christ showed his church

The Love of a Husband and Respect of a Wife • Unify Christian couples in oneness o Husband and wife function together as ‘one flesh’ (v. 31; Gen 2:24), not as two autonomous individuals • Reflect (and honor) the relationship between Christ & his church (vv. 22, 25) • Foreshadow God’s intention of bringing all things into unity in Christ (1:10) The Love of a Husband for His Wife • It is a sacrificial love (v. 25) o V. 25. “…Christ loved… and gave himself…” o Paul used the same word about Christ’s love for him in I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Gal 2:20 [emphasis added]) o It is a love that loves dearly, favors, prefers, cherishes o Its use in the Bible is love that wants the best for someone else o We favor our wives. We include them. We want to know their thoughts and feelings. We desire interaction. We value the intellect of our wives. We value the gifts of our wives. We encourage and speak life into our wives. So we walk in mutual submission. • It is an initiating headship (v. 26) o Christ did not wait until we asked, pleaded, begged o He gave himself for our benefit before we asked o Leaders initiate what is good: finances, child discipline, spiritual leadership, your relationship as a couple (get the calendar and the check book and put priority on your marriage) • It is a selfless love (vv. 28-29) o Paul rips open our selfishness. “Love your wife like you love yourself”. I know a lot of men who love what their wives do for them more than they love their wives

Ladies, What do you do in areas where you are not on board with your husband? Is it immoral or unethical? don’t follow. Is it a difference of opinion? Be respectful, discuss your concerns, thoughts Work together to get on the same page. Stop fighting to win an argument, start fighting to for your relationship.

Husbands Are there areas that you have lorded over your wife? That’s sin. You need to talk with her, get her input, ask for her insight, use her gifts. Are there areas where you’ve been selfish, self-centered? You need to confess – own it. Practice sacrificing for your wife