Proverbs has wisdom passed down from father to son. Chapters 1-9 are King Solomon's wisdom passed to his children.
Three kinds of parents 1. Uninvolved - not engaged in teaching, discipline, play 2. Over-involved - takes over the child's life and decisions; rescues from every struggle 3. Involved - balanced in child's life - playing, teaching, discipline, but allows child to be his or her own person; allows child to learn from mistakes.
Three kinds of Parenting: a. Permissive Parenting – loving, accepting, but not holding standards b. Authoritarian Parenting – heavy on rules, accountability, punishment, but light on love, encouragement. c. Authoritative Parenting – brings the strengths of both, provides structure, rules, firmness, accountability, but balanced with encouragement; focused on the relationship.
Rules without relationship result in rebellion; relationship without rules results in chaos.
The goal of Christian parenting is to raise adults who love & glorify God with their lives.
Discipline Children are sinful and need correction and discipline Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. (Proverbs 22:15)
Discipline is loving to your child Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24)
Steps in discipline 1. Be clear about your expectations - you cannot discipline if you have not told them what you expect and what they can expect
Give a warning or reminder if appropriate
Give appropriate discipline - Be consistent, follow through, be loving, not angry. The goal is correction and teaching. Discipline maintains the relationship. Punishment excludes relationship.
Discipline and age Infants and toddlers - Focus is on meeting needs. No concept of disobedience, only redirection is appropriate. Preschool age 18 months to 5 years - Focus is on discipline. Use redirection, timeout, physical discipline is light. An 18 month to two year old understands "no", some things are off limits. A 4-5 year old understands rules. School age 5-11 - Focus is on training, teaching how to be responsible. Corporal punishment reserved for outright defiance or harming others. Loss of privileges increases as children approach adolescence. Teenagers - loss of privileges.
Speaking of teenagers, King Solomon in those 1st 9 chapters to his children spent 2 1/2 chapters warning his sons against sexual sins. We have to discuss how God intended and did not intend sex with adolescents. "The talk" needs to take place between you and your 10 yr old, then in more detail at 12ish and 14ish.
Spiritual maturity - sin, confession, repentance, faith 1. When they make mistakes, usher your child to the cross. Tell them of your own sins, that we all sin and are in need of forgiveness. 2. Help them understand that sins hurt relationships and reconciliation is needed by confession and repentance. 3. Help them find relief from sin and shame by faith in Jesus' sacrifice.
We are presenting God to our children. God is using you to prepare them for their own relationship with Him. Teach young children the beauty and majesty of God, his power and creativity. Teach school age children about the love that Jesus demonstrated for them. Teach adolescents about the mercy and forgiveness found in Jesus. Walk them into God's presence.