Thrive: Recent Episodes
Louise Heite
I’ve created this space to help you fuel your best and then make your best much better.
louise.substack.com
Top Of The Morning To You!
There is nothing I love more than getting up at the crack of dawn to luxuriate in the peacefulness of the rising sun. Curled up under a soft white blanket. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the room. Holding my book in one hand while caressing my purring little 'Noushie'. What's your favorite morning ritual?
This week:
💡 6 Zen Principles That May Change Your Life
✍ 5 Questions To Power Up Your Day
🧠 Thought I’m pondering on
💡 6 Zen Principles That May Change Your Life
The more years a book has lived the more I adore it. Ah, the smell!! Most recently when visiting our local second-hand book shop, I picked up an absolute gem on Zen Buddhism.
What is Zen Buddhism and how is it relevant to my life?
The challenge Zen poses us is to reach deeply into the experience of being alive to find something authentic, some real light. Even if, it is only the light of a small glow-worm, the effect can be profound. What makes Zen Buddhism so unique is the emphasis on learning by doing, instead of studying or intellectualizing its teachings. This may be one of the reasons why Zen resonates so deeply with today's entrepreneurs.
Today I want to share with you six Zen principles that you can incorporate into your daily routine to bring focus and clarity back into your life.
Adjust Your Posture, Adjust Your Breathing, Adjust Your Mind.
It all starts with good posture. When you sit up tall, your gut and organs expand, allowing you to take deep, restorative breaths. This leads to heightened focus and clarity. According to Zen teachings, the mind and body are inextricably linked – you cannot achieve mental clarity without making physiological adjustments. This is why Zen Buddhist monks – no matter how old – tend to have impeccable posture.
Be Light Like Water In Your Social Interactions.
Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zi once said that relationships should be light like water. Though we now live in a time of oversharing and hyper-connectivity, the most sustainable way to cultivate meaningful relationships is to tread lightly into others’ lives and delineate between yourself and others. This protects you from being swayed by others’ needs and allows you to make space for your own vision and long-term goals.
Align Your Words With Your Actions.
Zen Buddhism places a heavy emphasis on the alignment between your words and actions. In other words, don’t just talk the talk – walk the walk. Those who speak in a way that is consistent with their actions invite progress and clarity into their lives – not to mention meaningful relationships based on honesty and trust. Pay close attention to the way you speak and how it coincides with your actions.
Cultivate Your Inner Safe Space.
A folktale from the Later Han Dynasty describes an old medicine vendor who gets sucked into a large vessel. A passerby follows suit, only to discover a hidden paradise where he is showered with kindness and time flows slowly. When he returns to reality, he discovers that he has been gone not for days but for an entire decade. The moral of this story is that we can all cultivate an inner paradise to which we can return, unbound by time or obligations.
Cherish Every Encounter.
Widely used in tea ceremonies, this Zen principle – and fundamental cultural concept in Japan – describes the ephemeral nature of human encounters. When tea masters Sen no Rikyu and Ii Naosuke served tea to their guests, they moved with remarkable deliberation to honor the fact that the meeting could never be repeated or replicated – it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. In Zen, we are encouraged to treat all human encounters as sacred and irreplaceable.
Surround Yourself With People You Admire.
Back in the day, clothes were stored away with an aroma pouch to keep them fragrant – so when you put on a robe that had been stored away for a while, you were enveloped in a fine aroma. The robe itself was odorless, of course – but the fragrance that it inherited elevated the experience of getting dressed in the morning. This principle can be applied to interpersonal relationships: surround yourself with people you admire, and soon you too may inherit their fine qualities.
✍ 5 Questions To Power Up Your Day
One of the greatest gifts of being human is our ability to choose what to focus on. If you are perfectly calm and still on the inside, you can handle anything. For those of us without Zen training, here are the 5 questions I ask myself every morning to power up my day:
How Do I want To Feel Today?
What Am I Grateful About In My Life Today?
How Will I Make A Difference Today?
In What Ways Will I Cultivate Vitality Today?
What Will I Do For Myself Today?
🧠 Thought I’m pondering on
As we welcome crisp fall days, I am committed to keeping you fired up, feeling strong and inspired from the inside out.
Let’s go!
Thank you for being here today. Sending so much love your way. ♥
Louise ~
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Hello Dears,
Earlier this week I was experiencing an episode of crippling self-doubt. With a deadline fast approaching I started to panic, I doubted my competence and ability and debated to opt for the easy way out. To quit. I felt like an unworthy pretender waiting to be caught out.
Has did ever happened to you? That feeling of not being smart enough, being terrified of making mistakes and worried about being exposed as a fraud, despite your successes or expertise.
The loud voices inside our heads can be confusing and overwhelming at best and can totally stop us in our tracks at worst. Leading to procrastination, self-sabotage, and leading us to quit.
Every morning when I wake up, I tell myself that I am a winner.
Winners do quit but only the right stuff at the right time.
Every time I begin a new project, I go in with the mentality that I will succeed.
Whenever a new stream of unhelpful thoughts arrives, I gently remind myself I am a winner, I will succeed.
Every time I face rejection or failure, I am grateful to have learned the lessons I needed so I will be even better next time.
Discomfort is a catalyst for growth. It forces you to change, stretch, and adapt. And I believe it is my duty to always strive to be the best possible version of myself.
The "magic trick" to consistently motivate yourself through this is believing you are born to win.
By adopting the attitude of a winner you will become a winner.
It is one of the most powerful mental switches I ever made.
Winning to me means embracing my power to uplift other people.
While it takes dedication and commitment -if you can shift how you see yourself, you'll start to notice some of these benefits that aren't obvious to most people:
You'll stop doing the behaviors that you used to do. Like procrastinating, sabotaging your own success, fearing failure.
You'll make the behaviors you want to become a given. Like embracing the discomfort as an opportunity for growth.
Things that you have to debate yourself about... become not a question. This saves you a lot of mental energy. It becomes much less of a daily struggle.
You can change some long-standing beliefs about yourself. That you can't do this, that you're no good at this, that you aren't someone who does this. If they're not serving you, toss ‘em!
You begin to get a mindset that you can change anything, That you're not stuck in old ways, but someone who can grow and become a new possibility.
Adopt the attitude of a winner. Feel it in your being. Stand as this person. By embracing your own light, you give others permission to shine as well.
Thank you for being here.
Love 💛
Louise
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.
(Zig Ziglar)
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Hello My Dears,
“Does anyone else find it so difficult to invest in themselves?”
Yes!
100%
Omg, me.
This sucks. And I know you’re not alone in your struggling.
In fact, I see it in many of the leaders I work with.
In the past, I would have echoed a similar sentiment of guilt and fear, but now I know better. I used to be cynical and nervous about investing time and money into myself but not at all anymore. The term ‘invest’ is more often than not used in reference to property, shares, some kind of financial commitment, or the purchase of an asset that is intended to increase in value over time or improve an outcome.
But investing can also refer to ‘effort’ and ‘time’. We can also invest in people, not just ‘things’. We can invest in relationships (including the ones we have with ourselves) as well as our personal and professional selves.
However, investing in ourselves is not often something we naturally budget for or make a priority, well not yet.
I’ve realized that there are at least 3 totally legitimate-seeming thoughts that stopped me in the past from investing in myself.
I don’t have time or I’m not sure this is the “right” time.
The plague of our time is our busier-than-thou attitude. We’re all over-the-top busy and over-committed, and it’s never going to feel like the “right time” to invest in yourself. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t the best time.
What I’ve noticed though is that the right kind of investment (coaching, training, etc.) actually makes time, rather than absorbs it, because it clears your mind of the superfluous and skills you up to achieve something quicker.
I’m not sure it’s worth my while.
We worry, “Will I get enough out of this? “Will this be a mistake?” Can you relate? What if a healthy return is your choice, what if it is based on your actions, your decisions, not some random act or occurrence? More than anything it requires a level of confidence and commitment, the time and money you spend on yourself is well worth it. If you don’t invest in you - who will?
I can’t afford it
A tricky and, I believe, very feminine struggle is spending on yourself over others. Anything I spend on myself, I can’t put towards the family.
I was never told not to invest in myself, but I was shown in a hundred subtle ways the family’s money isn’t quite for me (even if I earn it) and that I should ask permission to spend it and feel just a little guilty if I do.
It took me years to come to this realization.
“I am my most valuable asset.”
Not my bank account, not my job title, not my social media accounts.
“I am my most valuable asset.”
And that means my growth, self-awareness, energy, and development comes first.
“I am my most valuable asset and I am worth it”
I used to not invest in myself because I thought I should save money for others. I also thought I did not have enough money to truly invest in my education, coaching, development, etc. I thought that I only had enough money to invest in my children. I thought I was too busy and did not have time. I thought I had to live up to someone else’s expectation of me. I thought it was too expensive.
I was so wrong. And I didn’t even realize how that “way of thinking” negatively influenced my loved ones. Because if I don’t choose to invest in myself, then I can’t be the BEST I can be for the ones I love.
When you invest in yourself you are doing more than spending time and money. You are putting yourself higher up your priority list. When we take the time to invest in ourselves we share a message.
It’s OK to care about yourself, the value you place on your potential is important enough that you are going to give it time, space, and energy to grow.
When I don’t invest in myself, I lose energy, I lose direction, I waste time in the small stuff, I get scared to take risks and I start to dislike myself, my life.
We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve to make sure we’re skilled up, energized, and able to challenge our boundaries.
And we cannot do this alone.
If you’re on the fence about a new venture or opportunity that would enrich your life, don’t pass it up, telling yourself that you’ll do it “someday.” There will never be a time in life where we’re not busy or don’t have other things to spend money on. Instead, ask yourself if it’s something that you’ll enjoy or something that you’d like to try. If the answer is yes, then go for it! Don’t let anything hold you back. You’ll be able to reap both immediate as well as future rewards when you make that investment in yourself, whatever it may be.
If you resonate with what I’m saying and want to be one of those leaders who invests in him/herself to create a strong and secure foundation to build on throughout your life and will impact your ability to prosper, perform, achieve goals, live to the fullest, and be capable of bringing about change, that’s where I can help.
If you are ready to INVEST in yourself, drop me a note here and I’ll happily tell you more about how we can partner together.
Much love,
Louise
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second-best time is now". -Chinese Proverb
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Hello Dears,
Thank you for tuning in this week. Today’s episode is dedicated to those of you who are feeling a little lost.
If you’re feeling lost, I understand.
I was there.
Sometimes, I feel like I am there.
Feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing with your life or your business, your career, your relationship,...is one of the most frustrating feelings ever.
You start out on fire. You’re high on passion and possibility. You could not be more pumped about your new business, job, relationship, workout regimen, spiritual practice, life philosophy, eating habits, etc.
This is it. That thing that was missing. That what you have been waiting for. That life-transforming pivotal moment that’s going to change e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
But then, you hit a rough patch. Unexpected challenges and unforeseen obstacles take you off track. Your energy dips. The voice of doubt creeps in. You can’t help but think…
“Maybe this wasn’t it after all”
Sounds familiar?
It should. It’s the painful arc that practically every person I know experiences on a regular basis (myself included 👋).
Life is not a straight line that goes from A to B.
Life is a canvas of circles and waves, ups and downs, highs and lows. It’s a journey of self-discovery and creation. Just like the ocean life is always in motion.
So how do you go about relighting that fire in your soul, and regaining that zeal that has you shouting “YES”! This is it!?
Let’s agree on one thing first.
Absolutely no one has it all figured out. We’re all on a journey. We’re all a work in progress. No one needs to have everything figured out, and honestly, nobody really does, if even social media posts present a different picture. Everyone is figuring it out as they go - just like you, so stop being so hard on yourself.
About the how.
(Re)define Your Why
“Why” is a loaded question, in a small, sweet, three-letter package. What we do and how we do it can often be answered more simply, and definitely. When we get to the why though, that’s where things get a bit more ambiguous.
To be asked “Why do you do what you do?” necessitates a deeper answer and therein lies a harder question.
What drives you, what inspires you, and what motivates you?
Who do you want to become?
What does your heart so ferociously seek?
Ask yourself these questions. And then lean into them. These are the answers we’re searching for.
So Why do you do what you do? What’s the compelling reason behind your driving force?
Be Focused Solely on The Process Not The Outcome
Every extraordinary and successful person began where you are today: Feeling like they have no idea what they’re doing with their life. What they did, however, was not staying stuck in ruminating thoughts. They focused on their task at hand and doing the best they can. They focused on the process, not the outcome.
Set the destination but focus on the journey. It makes life so much better.
Take Radical Responsibility for Your Life
Stop complaining and belittling yourself. What good does it bring you? It merely drowns your motivation in the well of self-pity.
Instead -
Start brainstorming some ideas and coming up with actions you can take to move you in the direction you want to move into.
As you walk, the path appears. As you move in a direction, the answers unravel. And as you continue to step forward, you will begin to see the possibilities. They are there and present just as the moon is the whole in-spite of its crescent.
Indecision leads to inaction. Motion leads to clarity.
Achieving personal and professional fulfillment begins with a journey of self-reflection, honesty, and a willingness to find (or redefine) your purpose. There is no one-size-fits-all strategy - your journey is as unique as you are. What will be the motivator that drives you as you leap forward?
You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be fulfilled but more importantly, our world needs what you have to offer.
With all my love,
Louise
→ Get In Touch / Work With Me
P.S. Know of anyone struggling in this process? Please forward this email/ episode to your best colleagues, clients, and friends — anyone who could use a boost of encouragement and direction.
Loneliness, procrastination, imposter syndrome, a constant stream of excuses Dominating Your Thoughts.
... without a doubt, most of us have experienced some or all of these obstacles at some point as we power through our personal and professional endeavors. And it's absolutely one of the hardest, tiresome, and frustrating things ever. The voice of self-doubt creeps in, your energy dips, and your motivation withers.
To get the big work done - you just need consistent accountability and people to talk to so you no longer get stuck in your own head.
The essentiel question is not, “how busy are you?” but “what are you busy at?”
Links:
Define Your Why
Join AVANTI
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Hello My Dears 👋
I am struggling today. If you’ve ever struggled to be consistent with something you care about, maybe my struggle will resonate with you too.
It has been 373 days since Feb 3, 2020. That’s the date when I first published a post on louise.substack.com. But today? Well, today I am struggling. Today, I don’t feel like writing. Today, I don’t feel like sticking to the routine. Today, I don’t feel like I have any great ideas and I don’t feel like I have the mental space for good ideas. Today, I feel like giving up.
If you’ve known such days or are right there with me, here’s what I try to remind myself of when I feel like giving up…
EVERY THOUGHT IS NOT AN ORDER
Right now, my mind is whispering in my ear that I’m just not feeling it today, that perhaps I am tired, and maybe I should take a break and see what tomorrow brings. It is suggesting to look for the easy way and choose the path of least resistance.
However, if I pause for a moment, I also hear other suggestions. My mind is also suggesting that I will feel really good once the post is published. It is suggesting that the easy way won’t take me to where I want to be. It is suggesting that even if I am just going through the motions - I have the ability to go through the motions.
But none of these thoughts are orders. They are merely suggestions and I have full power to choose which option to follow. The latter it is!
IT’S OK TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
Overcoming obstacles will not happen by itself, it will not happen by cutting corners, taking shortcuts, or looking for the easy way. We all face hurdles and obstacles we must overcome, it is all part of the journey. So it’s absolutely OK to step into this moment of discomfort, let these challenges raise you up - let them elevate you.
THERE WILL BE NO REGRET
Despite feeling the resistance, I have never found myself feeling worse after the work was finished. There are days when it is hard to start, but it is always worth finishing. The simple act of showing up and having the courage to do the work is a victory worth celebrating.
Life is a constant balance between giving in to the ease of distraction or overcoming the pain of discipline. Discipline defeats the infinite excuses that say: Not today, not now, I need a rest, I will do it tomorrow.
So, what do I do when I feel like giving up? I show up. 🚀
Helping people and organizations fuel their best. And then make their best much better.
May your weekend be filled with good energy! ☀
Love,
Louise
→ Get In Touch / Work With Me
THE PRICE OF DISCIPLINE IS ALWAYS IS ALWAYS LESS THAN THE PAIN OF REGRET
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We’re living in an age of speed and rapid acceleration. A rhythm of rush can be found all around us: fast food, fast fashion, fast internet, fast delivery.
Our schedules are hectic, busy, and packed full of personal and professional responsibilities that swallow us up and then spit us out on the other side, feeling empty, overwhelmed, exhausted, and often lost, at the sense that there’s no way out.
We’re all wired up, but we’re melting down.
I like getting more done, faster, and I lived most of my life in the fast lane, but I also recognize how costly it can be to fall for this emotionally-wrecking trap of the hurry-up life philosophy.
Speed is the enemy of depth, nuance, attention to detail, reflection, learning, and rich relationships.
It wasn’t until two years ago when I decided to trade speed for the path to depth, and excellence.
Honestly, how would you feel if you knew the surgeon operating on you was racing through your surgery while checking email, and writing texts along the way?
My focus is no longer on speed but shifted to doing what’s most important to me and my growth. It’s no longer about going as fast as possible but all about doing the best I can.
The faster we move, the less we feel, which may be a primary reason we move so fast.
Why would you want this too? Why is moving away from a rhythm of rush and shifting to the think slow to move fast way of life exactly what we all desperately need? My key takeaways:
You’re putting yourself first, which means that you’re prioritizing your own emotional and mental wellbeing before anyone else’s because you realize that you cannot give from that which you don’t have.
You’re becoming more intentional about how you want to live your day-to-day life and the kind of lifestyle you want to lead, so you’re not doing more—you’re doing less of what doesn’t matter so you can do more of what does.
You’re not rushing in the mornings. Instead, you’re giving yourself the time to discover how you want to set the tone for the day, so you’re creating rituals that work for you and are tailored to your needs rather than to what society tells you a self-care plan should look like.
You’re meditating and reading books to nourish your mind. You’re journaling and making time to practice hobbies that you love so you can feed your soul. You’re treating your body with the respect it deserves. You stretch to stay flexible. You move and exercise regularly. You try to eat healthy wholesome foods, but you also allow yourself the fun of indulging in sweet delights.
Anytime you’re faced with a dilemma, you ask yourself this question: “Does this matter to me?” If the answer is yes, you give it your attention. Otherwise, you let it go.
You’re saying “no” more than you’re saying “yes.” You’re protecting your time and safeguarding your energy. You’re not jumping into things just because they sound cool—you’re going back to that question of “does this even matter to me?”
You’re learning how to design an environment that is conducive to your growth; you’re choosing to move away from people with negative energies and closer to people who uplift you. That’s how you’re creating more space for wonder and inspiration.
You’re starting to accept that struggle is simply the refusal to accept what is. So now you’re teaching yourself how to surrender to the flow of life. You’re learning how to trust the process and you’re becoming more aware of the benefits of focusing only on what’s within your control.
You’re slowing down to become more observant and conscious of the beauty all around you. You’re becoming more grateful for all that life has to offer you: The sun in the sky, the soothing sound of the waves kissing the shore, the comfortable bed you get to sleep in tonight.
You’re recognizing that the sanctuary is found within you and the only way to reach it is to be kind to yourself first, so you can then be kind to all other humans around you.
It’s a way of being, a mindset that values mindful, intentional decision-making over rapid, intense, and aimless acceleration. So instead of living a life of escapism where you run from what’s wrong, you consciously create a roadmap that poises you for success. When you shift from living in a state of flux and focus on finding your center you can get from where you are to where you want to be.
To thinking slow to move fast.
Helping people and organizations fuel their best. And then make their best much better.
Schedule your FREE 30 Min coaching call.
May your week be filled with good energy! ☀
Love,
Louise
→ Get In Touch / Work With Me
ALWAYS BE AT WAR WITH WHAT’S IMPOSSIBLE
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Listen now | It was a bright early morning in April when I and thousands of other marathon runners, tightly nestled together, were led to the start of the race. High on adrenaline yet extremely nervous, I couldn’t stop contemplating “Will I make it to the finish line?” Dare I think I wasn’t the only one.
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How are you hanging in there?
Today, you, me, and everyone in this world is seeking a sense of hope. We’re all searching for ways to fortify ourselves with the will to carry onward in spite of all the continued uncertainty.
We’re searching for a sign to remind us that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Living with so much uncertainty is unquestionably hard. It can leave us feeling stressed, anxious, and powerless and can quickly trap us in an endless downward spiral.
So how can we best maneuver through a world of uncertainty?
We must stay hopeful about the future, even when the present seems woefully negative.
We must work through our negative emotions (not ignoring them) to better understand what they are trying to tell us.
We must acknowledge the troubles of today, while also giving ourselves permission to hope, even if we feel extremely anxious, restless, or fearful.
It’s not about ignoring our negative feelings about the crisis at hand, but about finding a way to keep those feelings from overwhelming us.
It’s not about suppressing, it’s about rising above.
Don’t resist
Resisting this current reality won’t help us recover, learn, grow, or feel any better. Ironically, resistance prolongs our pain by magnifying the challenging emotions we are feeling. There is real truth to this pearl of wisdom ‘what we resist persists’.
So what do we do instead? We can learn to accept the things we cannot change. Acceptance is about meeting life where it is, accepting whatever is actually happening at the moment, and moving forward from there.
Ask yourself:
How can I turn the current situation to my advantage?
What resources can support me to overcome the obstacles I am facing?
Do invest in yourself
The best resource that you have right now for making a contribution to the world is YOU. When that resource is depleted, your most valuable asset is damaged. In other words: When we underinvest in our bodies, minds, or spirits, we destroy our most essential tools for leading our best lives.
Ask yourself:
How am I caring for my body?
How am I fueling my mind?
What do I need to show up as my best self?
Don’t believe everything you think
Perhaps the most essential stress-reduction tactic is not to believe everything you think. In uncertain times, it’s particularly important not to believe thoughts that argue for the worst-case scenario.
It can be helpful for us to consider worst-case scenarios so that we can weigh risks and actively prevent disaster. But when we believe these stressful thoughts, we tend to react emotionally as though the worst case is already happening in real life, rather than just in our heads.
Instead of buying into every stressful thought, we can actively imagine the best possible scenario. This counters our natural tendency to overestimate risks and negative consequences.
Ask yourself:
Is it true?
Can I absolutely know that it is true?
How do I feel when you think that thought?
What is it costing me to believe that thought?
Who would I be without that thought or belief?
Do pay attention
The opposite of uncertainty is not certainty; it’s presence. Instead of imagining an unknown future, we can bring our attention to our breath. From there, we can check in with ourselves. Every time we wash our hands, for example, we could ask ourselves: How am I doing right now? Notice what emotions you are feeling.
Even when it feels like everything is out of our control, we can still control what we pay attention to.
We can turn off our alerts to keep the news or social media from hijacking our awareness. We can drop our ruminations and negative fantasies by attending to what’s actually happening in our inner world, right now, here in the present.
Attending to what is happening within us at any given moment keeps a crappy external reality from determining our inner truth. It allows us to cultivate calm, open-mindedness, and non-reactivity.
So, don’t hide under the duvet waiting for all of it to be over. Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive transformations in your life experience.
Committed to keeping your vibrations high and here to move you, inspire you, and amplify your power.
Let the light in - have a magical weekend! ✨
With love,
Louise Heite
→ Get In Touch / Work With Me
Dare to believe the whispers in your ear, that you might be special, that you might be meaningful, that one day you might change the world. It's us you see, the ones who listen, that will change everything. – Atticus
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