If you've talked to me in the last few years you've probably heard me whine about judgement.

By judgement I mean labelling someone or something as a worse than yourself.

I'm allergic to this kind of thinking. The more I do it the sadder I get.

Judging is useful for making sure we don't waste time with people that we won't get along with. It allows us to separate into tribes and, in that way, has an evolutionary advantage.

However, knowing this doesn't help me feel any less bad to do it. Yes, even if that person is a) flouting their privilege b) being racist or c) literally pumping CO2 directly into the atmosphere.

I figured it was time I do a little essay to explain why I get so uncomfortable when judgement starts to happen

The primary reason is because I know that I'm just as bad as the person being judged

Yes, although I try not to flout my privilege, I'm really just as bad as the SF tech bro who tweeted about the homeless guy sleeping in front of his Porsche

Yes, although I haven't verbally or physically assaulted someone because of their race, I'm really just as bad as the people who post racist comments on Reddit.

Yes, although I haven't driven a car in years I'm really just as bad as the person who takes their Hummer to work each day.

It's easiest to explain why I think this using examples:

When I watch a movie I use about 3 hours of time doing nothing but staring at a screen. Now, if that screen had code on it instead of a movie I could have made money during those three hours. The amount of money I make in 3 hours of coding is enough to save a life in many parts of the developing world. Yet I choose to watch Tron: Legacy for the 37th time. I choose my own comfort over saving a life.

When I was 25 I spent a year teaching in low income schools, mostly working with students of color. Then I stopped, because, as much as I cared about making an impact, it was exhausting, demoralizing and draining my savings fast. I could have contributed to education equity. Yet I chose to leave and found a company. I chose my own comfort over making an impact.

Every evening I take a hot shower. If I took a cold shower instead I'd reduce my daily energy usage by about 25%. If everyone did this the US would immediately meet it's climate goals immediately. However, we don't. Not one of my American friends takes a cold shower, including the ones who work full time trying to solve climate change. We choose the simple comfort of a hot shower over solving global warming.

From an utilitarian standpoint, the cost to society of me deciding to watch a movie or take a hot shower is at least as much as the person who posts racist rants or drives a hummer to work. Furthermore, the reason why I do these destructive things is the same— habit.

People post racist stuff because that's how they're used to thinking, that's the environment they exist in. People drive gas guzzling cars because that's the car they own, that's the routine they're used to.

If I can't muster the willpower to take a cold shower, then I can't really expect someone to sell their car and change their schedule for a similar goal.

The reality is, we're all the same. We're all weak-willed products of our environment and it's a miracle if we manage to make a change every once in a while. So, when I think about other people being bad, I can't help but think I'm bad, and that makes me sad.

This doesn't mean that I agree with the actions everyone takes, or don't care who has power. I'll work to remove a leader who's racist. I'll avoid spending time with someone who goes on about how hard it is to maintain five Lambos. I won't take lifestyle advice from someone who doesn't believe in Global Warming.

I try to remember that someone can be harmful to me and others without being a bad person. I try to dislike their behavior while not having contempt for them as a person.

And then, when I fail, I judge myself for judging others. I suppose, after all, judgement is another way we're all similar.

P.S. I know that most religious texts basically include this whole "do not judge" thing in paragraph one, but hey, never said I was an innovator.

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