So I’m reading this book called Journey of Souls, which dives into the idea of connected life across our many lives. Mostly, it talks about death — AKA, where you will go when you die and what it will be like when you get there. Highly recommend this book to anyone with a passing interest in spirituality, particularly those of you who, like me, love to have your woefully limited consciousness blown out of the f*g water to a state of further spiritual expansion and awareness.

In the book, the author touches on something called “soul groups.” Basically, everyone has a group of souls who are always with us, throughout each and every incarnation of our lives. They can be friends, romantic partners, family — anyone in our close circle. Each new incarnation of life shuffles the group in a different way. In other words, your best friend now may have been your sister in a past life. Your brother may have been an important teacher. The love of your life today may have once been, several lifetimes ago...your mom.

I know.

I love the idea of soul groups, only because it provides a framework for how I’ve met and held onto the closest people in my life. My past is pretty segmented, in more ways than one. I’ve lived in many different places, across continents and time zones. My value system and identity have shifted in extreme ways. My work life has, too. For whatever universal reason, I just haven’t lived a very consistent life. Sometimes I think of it as a bad thing, like I’m just a chaotic disaster goat jumping from rock to rock, but I’m realizing now that inconsistency and discomfort are somewhat necessary for my survival; without a challenge to toil over and pick apart and chew on and figure out, my brain goes flat.

Anyways, throughout these experiences I’ve somehow amassed a particular group of people that, because of life’s many twists and turns, I kind of had no business meeting, but met; have no business still knowing, but do. And, when things go sideways, or when things feel scary, or when I just need someone to kick it with and have fun, the person or persons from my soul group uniquely equipped to be there for me in that situation show up. And it’s not always pleasant, either; sometimes, someone from the eternal soul squad shows up to teach me an important, painful lesson that I haven’t yet had to learn. And sometimes, it means someone has to go, at least for awhile. Lesson or no lesson, that always hurts.

I know what you’re thinking: people come and go out of our lives and it’s all very normal and standard and there’s not much more to it than chance. But think of it this way: don’t you have people in your life who always seem to show up or send you that text, exactly at the right time, for no reason in particular? And when people leave your life, don’t you notice a difference in the level of emotional intensity with which you react to that loss? Some people can just go ahead and go — bye! Others, you think about a lot, perhaps even once a day. No matter what transpired between you, you feel connected to them and have compassion for them and never quite feel like they’re gone. One day, when you least expect it, there they are again, right at the time you need them. There’s got to be something more to it than chance, don’t you think?

Anyways, I encourage you to consider who in your life might be part of your soul group. Think about the particular set of circumstances it took to find each other, what you’re gleaning and giving by currently sticking with each other, or what you didn’t realize you’d learn when they left. Connecting these dots is a really interesting exercise, and for me, it’s brought a level of peace and rootedness in a time when I feel untethered from most of the world around me.

One more interesting thing to consider about souls, and soul groups, particularly as we enter an age of emotional enlightenment and dismantle the rigid expectations and social structures of the patriarchy: souls have no gender. In other words, I wasn’t kidding when I said your husband could have been your mom in a previous incarnation, though I certainly encourage you to pretend like soul groups do not exist whenever it’s time to see his penis. My point in saying this, though, is that as our world changes and grows and creates a softer, more open-minded model for people to exist and present themselves, particularly with regards to gender, we’re actually getting closer to existing as freely as our souls do. I’m not saying that in order to be enlightened, you have to reject your gender — I’m saying that opening your mind to the idea that everything is fluid and evolving according to a divine plan could actually bring you closer to understanding yourself and the people around you. And, ~now more than ever~, isn’t that the whole point?

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