Touch Tomorrow: Recent Episodes
Zakia
Something happens when we merge the part of us that believes that we Chose Life vs the part of Us that knows we were Chosen.
That actually I didn't chose or rather when I did it felt like heaven.
And when these two can no longer be separated, maybe that is the goal of the seeming journey- i have suffered out my suffering.
On our Way to this Realization, a huge aid are the activities that help us connect to ourselves. Whatever that looks like- speaking, writing, creating, building, playing, meditating, moving, caring-
the way that you know is that thing brings you into a higher place.
and that higher space makes you forget about all problems and actually reality itself. Reality doesn't exist in that space.
Sometimes we realize that we're fighting reality- and sometimes this realization only come when we fight less. Whatever brings you to this realization, be grateful, even if it is painful/uncomfortable- for that is how we make change.
When you connect to those things you love- the ones that bring you to a higher space- you find the truth of all things which is the frequency of love. Ever yet higher than anything else. The truth doesn't allow the existence of anything else. In that truth you realize the blessings of your life.
i do not give in to the trap of the mind because I know it very well as what it is- a trap
I have spent too long catering to it, dancing with it, playing with it, talking to it, to then doing the HEAVY WORK of COMING OUT OF IT to fall under another moment of delusion.
I will not let that VERSION OF ME BREATHE. I WILL SUFFOCATE THAT ILLUSION. I know the trap it in its entirety. I WILL NOT LET IT BREATHE.
This time calls for overwhelming insertion of Truth and Conscious Presence.
You will have to override your brain every moment. That Is Growth. The More You override it, the More you Grow.
In the true place, there is Only Love.
All other experiences, concepts, even understanding, belong to lower frequencies.
In the highest place, there is Only One.
There is only God.
Moving in the human body- and all the other experiences- whatever we come to know them as, can exist.
They don't register as anything. Because there is Only Love.
I have come here to be a very specific human being- I have come here to embody my Soul- which is Unconditional Love.
Despite the experiences with people, I am not meant to turn away or close my door. I am meant to Love- both myself, and others.
And I shall heed this. Because this is who I am. Who I have come here to Be.
I don't know how much of a difference this makes in the suffering we experience-
But knowing that every moment of our life really is following the order of the expanding Universe- THAT-
That there really is only Growth-
And that what we are experiencing is only what we are Ready-
It's amazing to think about it that way. That, every moment is really in perfect order.
Going deep into the experience of pain, suffering, mentally and physically and owning the opposite of it through it
i love you all thank you so much for listening
I hope these things help you- please let me know if and how they resonate.
trying to figure out what works for stabilizing myself in the new energy that's been released from decades of adhd- figuring out things as we go
thank you for being here. wishing you well and good health.
You've been seeking God- Truth- Love- Virtue-
Until one day God turns around and starts chasing You
What this is like no one can describe-
For a period of time- we run like hell when we discover
It just might be the most terrifying thing ever
But the running slows
The trust increases
It's a very slow process
But so is everything that's real and true
Much love to everyone on this journey-
Everything is happening for you.
Most play by the rules and don't know. The few that know the rules are powerful.
Dear Friends-
I've very often thought that all of life is a preparation-
Every moment for the next-
Literally
When you experience hate in the people closest to you, it really prepares you for what you may encounter in the world-
It's almost like- the thing that you experience at home is the thing that is meant to sharpen your sword-
And then, if you truly experience it in the World, that thing can never really feel the same. It can never really be of that extent.
You have the understanding- and the knowing now that all of it truly is, human nature.
Most play by the rules and don't know. The few that know the rules are powerful.
Continue on your journey- life is very intentional. It does not give anything we do not need. It does not do "waste."
Everything always goes to something.
Lots of love on this pursuit
Check out my New substack with A LOT about this- my poetry, recent happenings with my mother, and a different side I learned about Michael Jackson. So Excited to share all of this. Thanks so much for being with me on my journey.
For millions of people around the word, they were forced to face their subconscious mind that they'd been running from all their life during the pandemic. For many of us, if the pandemic wasn't enough or didn't affect us directly, we had our own personal circumstances and journeys.
Some of us went through both- we were directly impacted by the pandemic, and also had our personal journeys.
For those of us that were ill and also encountered and healed our psyche, we are emerging from this period as butterflies after a long awakening.
The period we spent in isolation is now coming to an end. And our new personality, depth, character, and integrity is showing.
The ways in which we were held back our entire life are now allowing- we are creating and building the purpose for which our life was intended.
If you are on this path, stay the course of your potential- prioritize building and creating, until you are fervently operating at the state of your potential longterm, and sufficiently operating on a daily basis in the form of morning routine to then go about your day in your potential state.
life is taking care of everything. Just stay the path of your potential.
Lots of love.
In the last few days I've been operating at my potential Consistently. It's not my thinking mind- in fact it requires me to let go of my thinking mind completely. It's just flow. and I've realized, that I need to start my day in this way and then go about whatever else I need to do- laundry, eat, even basic bodily functions. It's like- the most important thing is my potential. And when I'm calm, and regulated, I'm able to go through my day in a better way- more stable.
And life really is about this stability. The more you access your potential, the more you're in tune with this stability. It could be 3 hours that you spend at the start of your day to achieve your potential state, but at the end of those 3 hours you realize that the stability you access is actually way more stable than who you were before.
We're all working with a primitive caveman like brain- that literally is the complete opposite of who we are. Give your mind an outlet to channel its hoards of energy- and do it until you are cleared sufficiently and access this stability. Then go on about your day.
Much has changed. Can now see the fear based identity and the mistake. This evening my brother came and was calling my mom. Fear rose in the voice of saying, "She's in the shower." But I didn't. Fear only arises when I don't become the fear. How interesting. Mom came home an hour before and was talking to her nonstop- fear arose again when I didn't continue the conversation- it's like something said/knew this is "too much"- she's gonna think something about your new personality. The fear is there. It's in the body. Thank God life allows us the process to work it out, and to become it slowly. All of life is an awakening. If you've been on the journey with me, listen to this- about pleasing and waking up from a lifetime of distorting.
lots of love-
may the truth and clarity be yours-
Zakia <3
Accessing flow state in each moment of love means is found in approaching each moment with joy.
It's always our own frustration with what and how we want our child to be. or anyone else for that matter that is revealed.
It's all about who you're supposed to become.
And you really don't know who that is- you're just here to experience life.
And what will you experience?
What insanity will you experience?
You will bear it ultimately- you are meant to.
Because the person that you're supposed to be is the one who has endured that suffering- who has been carved by it, softened by it, strengthened by it-
Only you will speak it. Only you will know it.
Only you will hold it- the capacity for that suffering-
So go on-
bear-
This journey of life adamants you to stand straight in it
Own your suffering
Until it becomes your service to the world
This has been the journey of my life even when I didn't know it.
But I knew the heartbreak the closer and closer I came to the end.
The more I could see the lies and truths.
No longer are there reason or justification.
so just sitting with these harsh truths. and being like
oh my god
my mother really is mentally ill. She is a horrible mother. she shouldn't be a mother.
sometimes the truth just is.
and there isn't a reason or justification.
then you can really let it break your heart and move closer and come to terms with it.
Healing Your Trauma is fundamental for your true life-
the one that feels the best to you. the one that flows. the one that feels right.
Energy has manifested in this body a million different ways. Now, even with thought gone, the vibration can be felt in the body. The personal energy has cleared so much- that at any moment, I can choose to pay attention to the body and I'll feel the sensation of energy that's moving through it or vibrating through it, through each call all the time.
How is this possible?
Once upon a time, all I'd be aware of was an occasional sensation of anxiety- I'm sure I experienced it more than I actually paid attention to.
Sitting and meditating for one year was the beginning of my attention to myself. After that first year, something strange happened and totally unexpected- the warm wash anxiety had concentrated into a single point where I'd most experienced anxiety my whole- my stomach. Then began the energetic contractions.
Ive' since become aware of energy in a way I never had been.
Because I now felt it in my body- moving and could trace it's movement.
With so much of the personal energy gone-
A different energy started to pervade- the vibration of being that had been covered up had now been freed.
I still often wonder about the bizarrity of this sensation of vibration in the body. Still sometimes scared, and just so new to all of it.
If you're experiencing it too, please reach out.
Sending love, today, and always
Zakia
The storyline is literally made of limiting beliefs.
Every thought that is playing- when you see it, you recognize is actually a limiting belief- not just the general statements we know to be limiting belief like "I can" or "can't".
But everything nuanced and specific.
Pay attention.
The quickest, most effective, most sustaining way to change our children's behavior or anyone's for that matter, is by doing the work on ourselves to be clear and present to make sure we are not coming from our our wounding.
Until we do this work- our wounding is enmeshed deeply into us and we are unable to tell and of course control our own behavior. That's what the wound/trauma does- it controls you because at one point, it was absolutely necessary for your survival to be this way.
The thing is, you're not that 4 year old or that partner in that abusive relationship anymore. But your mind doesn't know this until you heal.
Until you heal, your mind continues to interpret new situations as the old.
And then it takes over. In a moment, you become hijacked- your behavior completely changes.
Our children, parents, and partners, and those closest to us are the first line of our awakeners. They will consistently trigger us (an act of grace really) so that we can WAKE UP and look at ourselves.
Are you ready to do the work? Let's do it together.
When you start to understand how it works, you see that it was born out of an unnatural place and is just a specific way of telling the story that is not needed.
In this episode we talk about stepping outside of yourself to help another human being effectively- what does that mean?
Reflecting on what this means and how it's different than being a "mirror."
Affirming again- the mind's narrator is rooted in fear.
I didn't know this was a part of the process- something happens when you heal enough to where you don't just stop at neutrality- you become the antidote for the suffering that you formerly experienced- and you serve as this medicine for others.
I very easily could have continued with life as I had been doing. This journey that I went on- I was meant to take- to understand the underworld.
Revisiting the specific journey of awakening as it happened here- from the beginning until now.
The Change that occurred, although I didn't know it, was the answer to a lifelong prayer.
I had been experiencing the egoic play for a few days after visiting a family friend's house.. A powerful technique that broke me free of it, was going back to the very moment before I behaved the way my ego was fearing, and experiencing myself in those moments and realizing it was a conscious choice I made to behave in that way... Further confirming- it is all just the ego's play....But something in me was believing in the ego- that I WAS the ego- a totally separate energy in the body it seems- the one with this specific personality- Are we really it though?
In later stages of awakening, when you've done the healing to see clearly and not become emotionally hijacked in triggering situations, you develop preference for the kinds of emotions you would like to experience (and therefore the kinds of experiences you would like to have with people that limit negative emotions).
Since you are deeper into feeling any emotion, and more awake during all emotions, of course there will be a preference when you are no longer reacting- like any area in life where there is more space, more luxury, you decide.
It's unfigure-outable- i think that's the point- both the relief that comes from not knowing, even when you're healing, and the confusion that comes from not knowing. Ultimately, not knowing brings a certain amount of peace. And the more you deepen into unknowing, sadness, grief, loneliness, disappear. Within a few weeks, the sadness and confusion apparent in this recording disappeared.
Read after listening:
This was about a month ago- this recording.
I think I've figured it out- it's just an energy difference- which is why i was seeing this over and over- an energetic state that I've deepened in since.
I think what happened was when I asked my mom about if the delivery guy could come inside- the energetic state I was in, was not as confident as the one I've deepened into currently. It is not really what we say but how we say it- and the how really is the energy- i don't know if it would have changed the decision or the outcome- the energy seems to be in its own category and it's tricky to know any other difference- other than the way we feel and our inner experience.
I had come across Abraham Hicks's teachings before- but this was the first time I experienced them.
Hope you are all well and alive as ever.
Sending lots of love. Leave a comment if this resonates with you. Have you ever dissolved your limitations around money and experienced a flow of it into your life?
A Return to Ordinary Life, but with underlying presence. This time not working for peace- it does not always follow meditation.
The peace comes and energy moves out without a known pattern. Every day is just what it is. This stabilization has no trend.
In real time, it is the essence of life- the utter unknown.
But there are some changes-
How Deeply We Feel Emotion
How Much We Maintain Our Peace in Our Interactions
In this profoundly honest and poetic prayer, Zakia reflects on the sacred simplicity of being alive. Letting go of control, plans, and even the search for purpose, she surrenders to the present moment—where joy, suffering, and divine presence coexist. This episode is a raw meditation on experiencing life beyond the mind, where synchronicity, silence, and subtle miracles become the guiding force. For anyone walking a spiritual path of surrender, this is a moving reminder that sometimes, being is more powerful than doing.
In this raw, intimate reflection, Zakia opens her heart in prayer, sharing a sacred moment of connection with God. She speaks candidly about fear, faith, and the long journey of returning to divine truth after years of searching through self-analysis, meditation, and coping mechanisms. This episode explores what it means to walk with God through the quiet moments, the inner battles, and the radical clarity that follows spiritual awakening. For anyone who has ever felt lost in their mind and found peace only in surrender, this is a deeply moving reminder that the journey back to God is the journey back to self.
In this soft, stream-of-consciousness reflection, Zakia shares a quiet moment in New York—an 80° day that stirs memories of Florida’s skies and the soul-deep peace that warmth can bring. But as always, the weather is only the doorway.
This episode moves through the subtle layers of the human experience: fear that arises unconsciously, the pull of old conditioning, and the delicate recalibration of the nervous system after spiritual awakening. Zakia explores the difference between the conscious and unconscious mind, and how thoughts born from fear can seem like truth until clarity begins to grow.
There’s no resolution here—just presence. Just the raw noticing of how life moves, how healing unfolds, and how trust is built in the unknown. It’s about seeing fear, recognizing doubt, and choosing peace anyway.
If you're in a season of change, or simply learning how to be, this is a soft place to land.
In this intimate solo episode, Zakia opens up about what life looks like after a spiritual awakening — not the peak experience, but the quiet integration that follows. She reflects on the unexpected return of simple, grounding activities like talk therapy, creativity, and sitting in nature — not as practices to fix or become anything, but as expressions of a deep, abiding presence.
Zakia speaks honestly about the shift from effortful meditation to effortless being, and how healing the personal identity has allowed her to feel life — and love — more directly. She explores the difference between psychological suffering and embodied emotion, and shares how this transformation has changed the way she shows up in relationships, especially with her partner.
“I’m learning to walk again. I’m learning to breathe again.” The truth is, there’s no rule for how to “do life” after awakening. When you find presence that stays- Everything else now — creativity, love, money, service — can come from that ground.
So yes, take your time. Let this voice keep unfolding. And Live in the Moment — you are already home.
This episode is a gentle invitation to trust the intelligence of life, to meet each moment as it is, and to realize that awakening doesn’t end in silence — it begins in the heart of ordinary living.
If this resonates with you, reach out and share your reflections. I am looking for people who are on this journey.
Healing your past wounds changes in ways you don't know.
Like in fights or arguments where you used to let yourself go, pursue, be enticed.
There's something that doesn't participate anymore.
This is a transmission, not a lesson. It invites direct experience over explanation. The speaker is pointing beyond mind, beyond self, into the infinite silence of what is—and into the mystery of being God, as God, in God’s play.
A profound spiritual monologue exploring the nature of existence, mind, illusion, awakening, and ultimately God-realization. It’s poetic, nonlinear, and philosophically dense—less of a structured teaching and more of a stream-of-consciousness spiritual expression.
🕸️ The Core Thread: Connection
- Connection is the central theme and motivation behind all desires, struggles, and suffering.
- It is not just emotional or relational, but existential—the desire to reunite with the divine, the truth, the whole.
🧠 The Mind as Illusion
- The mind does not know and cannot know reality.
- It generates confusion and illusion, creating a false sense of self and understanding.
- Thoughts appear spontaneously—there is no thinker.
- The belief that "you" are thinking is the central illusion.
- True seeing comes only with distance from thought.
“You actually see that the thoughts arise on their own. So who is doing the thinking?”
🌌 The Nature of Reality
- Reality is not comprehensible. It lies beyond thought, beyond language, beyond perception.
- What we call “here” is everywhere. What we see is only the mind’s interpretation.
- To grasp truth, you must abandon all mental constructs: time, identity, knowledge, desire, even perception.
✨ The Divine and the Awakening
- Awakening is the realization that you are God.
- Not metaphorically, but experientially. Not as ego inflation, but as ego dissolution.
- The divine reveals itself in silent presence, in everyday moments, like watching a tree or hearing the wind.
- The divine rejoices in itself, through you, through everything.
🌿 The Shift: From Illusion to Experience
- Spiritual realization isn't about learning something new, but waking up from what you thought was true.
- When the mind subsides, clarity is no longer intellectual—it’s embodied.
- The senses open up: leaves, trees, light—everything becomes divine phenomena.
“Now you can't stop, because it's the divine rejoicing. Rejoicing in itself in its own creation.”
🌀 The Human Self After Awakening
- After awakening, the human self continues to act, but in ways beyond personal control or preference.
- Even confusion, rebellion, or contradiction is part of God’s unfolding.
- Personal identity becomes meaningless, behavior no longer needs tracking.
- Everything, even what appears “unspiritual,” is still God expressing itself.
☀️ Nonduality & Oneness
- There is only one—God, existence, the divine.
- All beings are not just from God; they are God in equal measure.
- There is no hierarchy, no true separation—just the illusion of it.
🔄 Delusion and Divine Play
- Suffering arises from a deluded “I” that seeks to change others or the world.
- This “I” is part of God’s divine spell—a necessary illusion.
- Even after awakening, one remains in the play—but now with awareness of its divine nature.
“Until you wake up, you are delusional. Because you are still in God’s play.”
💫 Final Understanding
- True understanding is not intellectual—it is unspeakable, unimaginable, uncontainable.
- Science seeks limits, but the divine has none. It is the
In this deeply raw and empowering episode, Zakia opens up about her lifelong journey from emotional struggle and dissociation to presence, purpose, and power. She reflects on the early pain of losing her father, the invisible burden of absorbing her mother’s emotions, and years spent chasing happiness without understanding why it felt so unreachable. After discovering the roots of her suffering—fear, disconnection, and the belief that she wasn’t enough—Zakia shares the profound transformation that began in her mid-thirties. Through healing, presence, and spiritual awakening, she reclaimed her truth and now stands in full authority. This episode is a rallying call for anyone who feels lost, unseen, or stuck in fear. Zakia reminds you: joy is your birthright, power is your nature, and now is the time to step fully into who you were born to be.
Back for another ride- full circle. One and the same with full healing- isn't that what full healing is? A true okayness with the dark? An okayness with BEING the dark?
The dark no longer considered, the dark-
In this episode of The Brilliant Mind, Zakia reflects on a group meeting after years of navigating identity dissolution alone. It is the first time she is in the company of those who have an understanding or at least know how unexplainable this process is. She feels energized after the meeting, but also wonders if she made it alone until this point because of her deep need for acceptance, approval and to be understood by others- all things she had to let go of and be conpletely alone on this journey.
She shares insights on the nature of the self, the mind’s need for control, and the deep surrender that comes with embracing the unknown. Through personal stories of transformation, misunderstandings, and letting go of the need to be understood, this episode explores the freedom that arises when beliefs and identities dissolve.
There is only one thing that allowed her to trust and stand alone.
Tune in to find out what that is- and for a raw and introspective conversation on the nature of awakening, the end of internal conflict, and what it means to settle into the unknown.
In this episode of The Brilliant Mind, Zakia dives deep into the nature of self-perception, conditioning, and the profound shifts that come with inner work. She explores how certainty can be a sign of a closed mind, while true openness allows for a spacious, fluid experience of life.
Through raw personal reflection, Zakia discusses the dissolution of identity—how letting go of who we think we are also frees us from rigid expectations of others. She unpacks the subtle yet powerful ways conditioning shapes our interactions, how we often listen through the filter of what we expect to hear rather than what is actually being said, and what it means to truly be present.
This episode is an invitation to step beyond definitions, beyond the stories we tell ourselves, and into a space of deep clarity and aliveness.
Listen in as we explore:
✨ The difference between certainty and openness
✨ How conditioning blocks us from fully feeling life
✨ Mourning the illusions of self and relationships
✨ The energetic release that comes with inner work
✨ Living in full presence—beyond definitions and expectations
If you’ve ever felt the weight of identity or wondered what’s on the other side of self-concept, this episode is for you.
🔹 Follow The Brilliant Mind for more deep explorations into consciousness, clarity, and personal transformation.
In this episode, we explore the intricate and often elusive nature of personal identity and its relationship with the mind. The personal identity, with its constant commentary, assumptions, and grasp for control, is an entity that forms as a result of being alive. But what happens when this personal identity begins to heal?
As we delve into the dissolution of personal identity, we uncover the profound realization that there is no entity truly in control—only an illusion that we have mistaken for ourselves. This episode examines how healing this identity leads to clarity, presence, and an experience of life beyond the mind’s constant narration.
The conversation touches on the irony of trying to control the mind, the necessity of surrender, and the ultimate power of being undisturbed by mental chatter. By examining personal experiences of shifting energy, increased fluency in speech, and newfound spaciousness in awareness, we begin to understand what it means to exist beyond the confines of personal conditioning.
Through reflections on presence, perception, and shedding conditioned ways of being, this episode invites you to question your own relationship with your mind. What would life be like without the weight of personal identity? And how does true freedom emerge when the need to control dissolves? Join us as we navigate the journey from personal entanglement to expansive awareness.
The discussion explores the nature of personal identity, ego, and presence. The speaker describes how thoughts create a continuous narrative about one's experiences, forming a personal identity that structures perception and self-concept. However, this identity can dissolve, particularly in experiences of deep presence or spiritual awakening.
The speaker recounts a transformative experience of oneness at age 34, where their usual sense of self disappeared, leaving only a boundless energetic awareness. In this state, there were no thoughts constructing a personal identity—only presence, a deep connection to everything, and a visceral sense of energy rather than mental activity. This shift fundamentally altered their perception, making even ordinary moments, like gazing at the kitchen stove, feel vibrantly alive and full of movement.
They describe how this dissolution of identity is neither good nor bad—it simply happens as part of life’s unfolding. The personal identity, which arises around age two or three, functions as an organizing force but can also create tension and suffering. Its dissolution, while gradual, can bring a lightness, a loosening of the need for control, and an ease in allowing life to unfold naturally.
The speaker also observes how thought processes change over time, sometimes appearing as a delayed reaction rather than the initiator of action. This growing awareness highlights how the mind attempts to construct meaning retroactively, revealing its role in shaping subjective reality. Through continued presence and relaxation into this new way of being, the speaker experiences a decreasing sense of attachment to thoughts and desires, leading to greater flexibility, playfulness, and an overall reduction in suffering.
This episode invites listeners to consider their own relationship with personal identity, thought, and presence, and to explore what it means to live with less identification with the mind’s constant storytelling.
The speaker reflects on the nature of thought, realizing how a single moment of egoic fear can generate an entire mental world—a chain reaction of thoughts and narratives that feel real but are ultimately just noise. They describe how their personal identity was once entangled in these thought loops, constantly creating meaning and clinging to knowledge, but now they see that all of it must dissolve to allow true presence.
Through recent experiences, they’ve recognized that much of their suffering stemmed from identifying with this personal world. Letting go of that identification has brought a deep sense of peace, clarity, and spaciousness. They discuss how this transformation has changed their relationship with desire—desires now arise from joy rather than need. They no longer feel gripped by compulsion, whether it’s eating, cleaning, or seeking external validation.
The speaker acknowledges that fears still arise, but they no longer have the same power. They observe these fears as passing thoughts rather than truths that dictate their experience. They also embrace the unknown in a new way—before, they were blind in delusion, but now they are blind in truth, fully surrendering to life’s unfolding without needing control.
This process of awakening has been the most difficult yet profound experience of their life. They wonder about the nature of this transformation—whether it’s a spiritual journey home, the mind returning to its natural state, or an integration of the ego into the true self. They ultimately embrace the mystery, finding beauty in not knowing.
The full version of the episodes so far posted in Season 2, covering an array of topics including:
Awakening and the Seeker’s Journey
- The shift from seeking to simply witnessing
- How the ego and different thought personalities arise in meditation
- Questioning the self and realizing the illusion of identity
The Power of Daily Contemplation and Meditation
- The role of daily contemplation in self-awareness
- How meditation became an automatic process over time
- Witnessing the mind’s ability to meditate on its own
The Emotional Release & Healing Process
- How deep emotional wounds surface during meditation
- Recognizing fear-based thoughts and placing attention on them
- The energetic movements in the body and their connection to stored trauma
The Physical Manifestation of Trauma & Healing the Body
- How meditation led to physical sensations and contractions
- Experiencing nerve pain and its link to the ego’s dissolution
- The connection between trauma, energy release, and physical pain
The Long Journey of Healing & Returning to Love
- The slow, sacred process of deep healing
- The role of suffering in transformation
- The gradual shift from ego-dominated existence to presence and love
In this episode of The Brilliant Mind, we explore the dissolution of attachment—to work, identity, relationships, and everyday routine. When the psychological self begins to fade, what remains? A love that is pure, unconditional, and free from expectation- even our own.
Join me as I reflect on:
✨ The shift from needing work, routines, and validation—to simply allowing life to unfold, and experiencing freedom from previous ideas/constraints
💭 The loosening of the psychological self's dependence on external activities to feel better and the changing of our relationship to all activities
❤️ The experience of God’s love—a love beyond possession, control, or fear and how this relates to your partner
This episode is about surrendering to a deeper truth by changing our relationship to life, releasing the need to define ourselves through external and conditioned roles that our psychological self came to depend on, and discovering a love that exists simply because it does.
What happens when love and life are no longer something we hold onto—but something we let be?
LettingGo #Attachment #Healing #SpiritualAwakening #Freedom
In this episode of The Brilliant Mind, we dive into one of the most challenging yet transformative aspects of awakening—actually feeling the pain. Year two of my journey wasn’t about bliss or peace—it was about facing the deep emotional wounds, allowing old stories to surface, and experiencing physical pain as the body processed years of stored trauma.
I share:
🔥 How unresolved pain manifests as energy in the body
🌀 The experience of emotional contractions and their connection to healing
💫 The profound shift that happens when suffering is no longer avoided but fully embraced
This episode is an honest reflection on what it means to surrender to the process, to allow deep wounds to surface, and to trust that healing is happening—even when it feels unbearable.
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "You do not yet suffer enough to suit me."
What if the pain you fear is actually the gateway to your freedom? To the Person You've Always Wanted to Be? The One You Knew You Were, Somewhere Inside? What if it actually Became YOU?
What if the person you knew you were inside, actually became YOU?
Healing #Awakening #SpiritualGrowth #TraumaRelease #SelfDiscovery
In this episode of The Brilliant Mind, we explore the profound impact of daily contemplation and meditation—what may begin as a practice, even in one moment, evolves into our natural state over time.
I share my personal journey of sitting with every thought, witnessing the mind’s patterns, and experiencing the unexpected moment when meditation became automatic. What happens when the mind itself begins to meditate? Can we control this process? Were we ever really controlling it?
Join me as we discuss:
🧘 The shift from effortful meditation to being with every thought and experience
🌀 How the mind continues meditating even when you’re not actively doing it
🌿 Looking deeply at thoughts to heal and dissolve their energy
What happens when the "you" that was meditating, after some time becomes pulled in front of your eyes as a separate identity (the seeker)? Who are you now? And who were you then? Let’s explore this together.
Meditation #Contemplation #Awakening #Presence #SelfInquiry
In this episode of The Brilliant Mind, we explore one of the most profound gifts of returning to presence—unconditional love. This is love without reason, without attachment, without seeking. It is simply being.
I reflect on how the process of awakening dissolves old insecurities, transforms relationships, and frees us from subconscious agendas. When we no longer seek validation or approval, our interactions become effortless, our connections pure, and our experience of life profoundly light.
Join me as we explore:
✨ The freedom of not seeking anything from others
✨ The shift from mind-centered living to heart-centered presence
✨ How love and connection flow naturally when fear dissolves
What happens when you are no longer lost in thought, no longer bound by fear, and simply move through life from your heart? Let’s find out.
Awakening #Presence #UnconditionalLove #Freedom #LivingFromTheHeart
In this episode, we explore the fascinating and deeply intricate ways the mind adapts to trauma for survival. Trauma is not just an experience—it becomes an identity, shaping how we see ourselves and navigate the world. I discuss how the mind creates an alternate reality based on fear, leading to dissociation and the development of coping mechanisms that shape our personal identity.
We dive into the profound journey of healing—how suffering can be a gateway to freedom, the slow unraveling of the trauma identity, and the return to presence. This episode challenges conventional understandings of self and invites you to consider the ultimate question: Who are we beyond our conditioned identity?
Join me as we explore the mind’s brilliance, the journey from fear to freedom, and the return to the simple, yet profound truth of "I am."
Healing #Trauma #Mindfulness #SelfDiscovery #Presence
- identity-less relationships
- desire vs attachment
- more tricks of the mind
- What is unbearable for you?
"I’m Going to Oust You, Mind"
-Sleepiness
-Adhd as a distraction from the Truth, Not Focus
-My relationship experience of knowing the mind is not the truth
-My entire life my mind distracted me from the Ultimate Truth
-**Labeling thoughts as a distraction or just noticing them and moving on
-All of it was the Fire**
Hi friends. In my journey of self-expression, i find the truth so beautiful. that i give into it in each moment. through any expression. through the most raw, truthful, clear and simple words that i could find. the day i found out my partner knew, i asked him in simple words for clarification. sometimes i revel in my expression, in what comes through me, because I know that it's not me. I know that I have just chosen the truth, and then whatever comes through me i surrender to. In expression, i do know that i aim to find the deepest truth, the most core of the truth, and the simplest ways to express this most bottom of the truth that i strive for. it is this earnestness and this love for the truth that has completely radically changed my life. if you haven't tried it, i hope you do. Please leave a comment by answering if you are the following and what your life has been like so far: 1) Have you always been a full expression of your truth? 2) Are you like me and have denied your own truth before embracing it? or 3) Are you still struggling to express your truth.
---I hope this helps you. i wish you nothing but the truth in your life.
logic vs heart------ there is a higher truth. it can be found in the silence and flow of life. in an openness to life and a deep trust in life. i hope you find it
sometimes that's through plan a, b, or z. Sometimes that's waiting it out. sometimes it's being present and listening. sometimes it's the other person not behaving in your desired way but still standing your power. the energy is what we are talking about
thanking the Universe.
My best friend is the reason that I am who I am today. in this very moment
His love and his truth that he’s lived his whole life- I was really privileged and God gave me a really special place in his life to be around him and witness that day in and day out.
It inspired my very first awakening at age 22.
Then at 31, his truth inspired by awakening again.
Then at 33, just months before my 34th birthday, the greatest awakening came to me through his mother. She brought me home.
Today, I shine in my own light. In my own truth. Today I flow.
It’s all thanks to my best friend.
Go check out his podcast The Stop Sinking Show. He is a phenomenal being and a speaker of the truth. And if you should be so lucky to meet him in his life, you will deepen into your own truth. You will know, undoubtedly, you are in the presence of truth.
Thank you.
what works in one relationship often works in another, often works with our youngest, often works with elders, often works across the board with humans
serenity. the izness. what is. i have found a new level of satisfaction and I cannot settle
it's amazing how our ideas come. im grateful
The Outschool teacher whose writing class I received inspiration from is called "Writing the Worlds You Imagine" and her name is Ms. Purugganan
trying to figure out how to price my classes and staying the course or pushing forward. both?
happy anniversary friends. telling the story of unconditional love and living it everyday. may our lives be an ode to it
reverse from yesterday. i'm so glad you're following me. because everyday i grow and change and realize the last day i was insane (which means flowing from the mind or my trapped level of consciousness at the time). today's a new day. love is greater than all. i'm human too. i don't mind.
Guess what- you're not actually supposed to want anybody in your life who doesn't want you in theirs. I know this in my head. The rest of me is about to catch up. This podcast has been insanely helpful and healing and has helped me gain so much clarity. Maybe none of this matters. Maybe I'll meditate later and none of it will matter. Maybe I'm waiting for people to cut me out of their life and leave me no choice. Maybe i'm supposed to take the choice in the meantime. I don't know. But this is where I am right not in this moment of time. And it's saying goodbye and hello to all the people and things i need to focus on. Lots of love and i hope this is helpful to you. Love.
It’s such a funny story. When we started living together, I HATED making customer service calls. I could feel the anxiety in my stomach. I HATED talking to people in general.
It began with an outright refusal by my partner make any of those calls.
He knew what we was doing. He could navigate himself through the deepest and most difficult conversations, and more so the heart of any human. His career had been built around it-
He knew what we was doing.
So he made me do each. one.
I probably hated him for it at the time. I'm sure I did.
But today, speaking, and the art of conversation has become one of my greatest strengths.
What I mean by this is, I’m not afraid to have any conversation. And even if I am, it sure as hell won’t stop me from having it.
This is Episode 128- a special one for Valentine’s Day. My partner always gave me the confidence I needed to speak, even though I was afraid to all my life. (it has also resulted in a lot of arguing with him and telling him things he doesn’t like to hear- but what are partners for? What's a best friend for?) I love you and I wish you the best day of your life.
Go check out my partner T's podcast The Stop Sinking Show after. Have fun!
So many of us give up too soon- perhaps the best thing in life is when we DON'T have an option? Can you take this option away from your life? By perhaps knowing, that you will have the greatest growth and learn the most if you play the game each day?
Follow up to Episode 68 of The Stop Sinking Show titled, "Limp Listening." I've struggled a long time with paying attention. I thought I had somewhat of an idea when I read that people who struggle to pay attention are more attentive when it comes to something that is important to them. But this episode talks about a situation where the mind takes an interesting turn.
is it okay if it's not the highest truth. I would say, yes, i have come here to experience
You think you want it but you have no idea. Inspired by The Stop Sinking Show Episode 67: Freedom Facade: The Lies they tell you about freedom.
Listen to Episode 63 of the Stop Sinking podcast first and then come right back to this one.
if you haven't listened to the episode before this, go back and listen and then listen to this
thank you so much for being with me.. i love you and i wish you an incredible, peace-filled, ease-filled, insightful, rewarding, truth-filled journey
learning so many things in the process of creativity.
sorry I'm releasing these at a later time! I usually upload for the next day but
everything and nothing. i hope this is helpful to you. I wasn't sure where to stop at the end. usually i get some kind of cue. this time i just wanted to keep going. i hope it is always helpful to you. i love you and i hope you know this life is nothing but a dream, gone in the blink of an eye. you are nothing that you see, only the thing that sees, continuously, infinitely.... you are
Life gives you every moment to make you the most of who you can be. Will you make the most of You?
This episode was recorded right after my ESL company was shut down in the beginning of August. It's a reminder to myself as I start teaching on Outschool and it will be a reference for the rest of my life.
Original recording date: 8/09/21
3T + 1L = 4T. \ Truth is unconditional love, the only thing that rises above... logic.//
trying something new- every Monday a meditation will be uploaded. Sometimes I talk and this is what it sounds like
This episode follows the last 2 episodes that talk about how routine, clean body and environment, and a to-do list help us to make the most of our day. You'll find more information on each of these in the last 2 episodes. This episode talks about being present for it all by engaging your senses, creating and doing more of what you enjoy, and setting yourself up to have ZERO thought. It is possible to go from not being "here" to being SO here. I am proof of that already even though my work is not finished. I'm constantly becoming more present, and I invite you on this beautiful journey of being here.
Use your Creative energy for good by keeping a short and simple mental to-do list. If you can remember it, the more your attention will stay on it.
Success really comes down to what you do in a day. "Let's Start at the very beginning, a very good place to start." - Sound of Music. Stay tuned for part 2 very soon.
My loves, I made it to 50 times hitting the upload button, each time cringing from the truths I revealed. I talked about the hardest things in my life- my father's death, my mommy issues, my broken relationship and my failure, my difficult relationship with my family, and everything I was afraid to- really all the meant to be things about my life that made me and that I needed to be the person I am today. Only this perfect combination could create the me that I am today.
If I was uncomfortable about something, I made sure to leave it in.
I lived my whole life worried about what "others" would think- and I saw where it got me. And didn't.
Most people never dare to stand alone in their truth.
They'll spend their lifetime swerving around, beating around the bush, restless, living in some purgatory of their own making.... just waiting-
waiting to ask out the girl they really like
waiting to join that band
waiting to travel
waiting to pursue their dream
waiting to say what they need to say
waiting to feel, waiting to claim their love, waiting to show SOME emotion.
You know you don't have tomorrow, right?
Like if you really think about it, you're banking on something that's not guaranteed- you DO understand that, Right?
Listen, I get it.
I was there too.
That's why I tell this story today
That's why I share my truth today
I think it's human nature to shy away from discomfort. Most of us shy away from the truth. We also shy away from emotion, from feeling, from hard work, from discomfort, from pain
Really the only thing you need to shy away from in this life is regret-
every moment you are alive you are either living fully or turning it into regret- ouch. You had the opportunity didn't you? You had breath. But You chose Less.
Choose love. choose yourself. choose this moment. Because honestly, this moment and You, are all you have, and when you use both of them fully, you garner your Self, and when you garner your Self, you garner the world.
Have You Ever Lost Your Identity? If you are going through this right now, know that it is an opportunity to build who you really are.
Make the greatest impact you can with your life- please don't worry about anything else.
i think if you're just aware of this, and you make the decision from the best place in your heart- whatever you choose, will be the right thing for you.
Who are you willing to give up? The reality of this is harsh- but it is the truth. You won't have to give up every single person, or you might have to- but the reality is, you have to be willing to stand alone.
Thank you for being here with me guys. I am truly honored and i love you all. I always hope and believe that my journey will benefit someone else. It always has, so i continue to share. i love you
This episode has a lot of ramblings about my routine. But it also has some important lessons I've learned about participating in the sharing of each burden in a relationship (25:00)- not just for the relationship- but most importantly, for your growth as a human being.
How these are all related. Other people are somehow involved in our decision to procrastinate when we feel something isn't perfect. Or good enough. Yup, perfectionism and perfectionism are forms of people-pleasing. And if you were like this before, you probably weren't living your truth. A lot of people are not going to like the new you, not even your old self. Consider that a good thing. Listen to this episode and accept not only your truth, but the truth of your new reality when you start living your truth- there is a price to pay. Find out what it is, and pay it gladly.
You can always change your relationship with someone. But it requires so much energy to put a wall up and hold that wall between you and someone. It will always require your energy. No one will suffer more than you.
So many ways I benefited in this dark time. So many things I learned. So many things I got to see and become for myself.
- Negative Recurring thoughts -What do they Reveal To You?
- Fear + Lack of Integrity = A Human Being not at Peace
- When People Reach Out to You, even if you're going through something, they may need you
- What You Didn’t Get as A child And How That Makes you Stronger than If you Had Gotten It.
What is the point of life if not to experience and release the struggle?
*original recorded date: 6/09/21
A few days ago, my ESL online company got shut down due to policy restrictions. Find out more about how I am continuing this journey, this time on my own.
*recorded 8/09/21
I thought about cutting this up- and posting it as separate episodes- but then again it came out like this so maybe I'm supposed to keep it all together. I don't know I'm still experimenting- i hope you guys are able to follow
Would you trade who you are today for even the worst experience of your Life? The Story of Accepting: Feelings of Inadequacy, Your Instinct & Heart’s Calling, That You Cannot Please Everyone, Death, the Coronavirus Pandemic, Your Current Reality & Unchangeable Past & How it is All Making You. Stronger. ***
3:30- Accepting your only control--- 5:47 What happens when you expect vs don’t expect something, how much you can appreciate something when you want it vs don’t want it---11:00- Accepting that your own desire is not an end to reality, your own wishing does not save you from reality, trying your best to accept the reality of today---34:00- we can’t see the illusion when we’re in it---39:40- the worst part of keeping yourself from connection with others---46:40 - what happens when i don’t trust the voice that tells me to do something- my mind creates neuroses---51:40- fear of not communicating right---1:00:00 - all the relationships in your life are serving you---1:03:30- Accepting the Reality of Today and How Life Is Hard But It is Making You Stronger for Tomorrow
When someone resists your ideas, even if you know they hold the very answer the other person is looking for- how do you encounter this resistance? How do you feel in yourself? How do you deal with it?
- Avoiding resentment
- The story of my Partner’s Jacket
- Breaking Down Lies- Why Do We Lie?
- The catalyst for my first awakening- What is it exactly, would you say?
- Feeling justified in Your LIES?
We are so good at pointing out the faults of others. But we are all guilty of mostly all the same things... right? So why don't we talk about ourselves? I've lied the most, I'll start.
Is there a way around it?
Grappling with this idea:
- I know what i didn’t get was what I was meant to become- but I still wish I had gotten it so I could avoid the suffering
- But then again, the suffering made me who I am today
- If you could avoid suffering at any cost, wouldn’t you?
- 2 Dark Nights of the Soul in increasing complexity- Does life bring you more complex experiences and suffering?
- 1st Dark night of the soul- becoming the emotional connection i needed after my father died
- 2nd Dark night of the soul- awakening into the part of me that dissociated all my life
You just might supposed to be the thing you don't get. And use it to make your life better than if you had gotten it.
Do you believe?
in the good intentions and magic of the Universe? in: "the Universe knows best"? in: the Universe teaches us things in the best way for us. Do you know this?
Listen to the School of Greatness podcast EP. 1094 (&1093 if you wish) w/ Jordan Peterson then come back and listen to this. It's a whole lotta truth.
nobody said it would be easy. but, it is the most inner peaceful. when you start being your truth, you realize there's no other way to be. there's no other way you CAN be.
Born in the most difficult times in my life, these two prayers continue to serve me, and I hope they will serve you too.
- How To ask so that People want to actually give it to you (What + Why)
-The Most Vulnerable Question Perhaps Ever Asked By a Human Being (From My Soul Sister)
- Meeting Our Child’s Emotional Needs & Building Healthy Emotional Foundations
The way in which we Ask for What We Need Influences:
How Likely We are to get what we need, if the other person actually wants to give it to us, How the Other person feels about us..
And a BONUS: *When we Make them Understand Why We need it, They might Understand if They Need it Too
From a 5 min SCAM to 30 years of Self-Betrayal, one of the greatest lessons I have learned.
Why is it so hard to SAY OUT LOUD the GOOD we see in others? Why is it even harder to say good things about OURSELVES? Even when it’s true?
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Some people feel that, when they call out the GOOD in others, it makes them less than the words that leave their own mouth. But it’s JUST the opposite. It actually makes you EXPAND. Because when you accept, when you acknowledge, You incorporate that good on some level-even without any action currently. Still, in this moment, You become more GOOD. You become GREATER. you become more beautiful. Just by seeing. And Saying. And acknowledging.
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What does this do for your children? Well, infinite. That’s what this does. It has an infinite and immeasurable impact that surpasses just this moment. Because, if your child thinks about your acknowledgement any time- tomorrow or twenty years in the future, it motivates them internally.
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And the same thing goes for ANYONE that you CALL OUT THE GOOD IN- your partner, your mother, a STRANGER… the effects are infinite and cannot, i repeat CANNOT be MEASURED.
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So, you wanna create MAGIC?
.
CALL OUT THE GOOD. CALL IT OUT, CALL IT OUT
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SHOUT IT OUT. SHOUT IT OUT
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SPEAK IT. SAY IT. SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
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You are so beautiful. You are so kind. You’re an amazing DANCER. You’re an INCREDIBLE SINGER.
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YOU ARE A PHENOMENAL WRITER.
You are so KIND.
YOU ARE A REALLY HONEST HUMAN BEING, YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU SPEAK REALLY WELL, YOU KNOW THAT?
YOUR FUNNY AS HELL, YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU RIDE THAT BICYCLE AWFULLY WELL, YOU KNOW THAT?
SAY IT. SPEAK IT. I DARE YOU.
AND WATCH, WHAT BECOMES OF YOU-
….. The entire UNIVERSE
Your journey, experiences, and stories are SO unique to you. Is it really fair to compare yourself to anyone else?
We tell stories all day everyday each day of our life.
Let the stories you hold get you to the end of your life with the least regret as possible.
Own the dream. It was given to you and no one else for a reason. It is yours. Are you ready to own it? To protect it? To see to it? To show up for it? To be the PERSON who LIVES it?
You could paint the best picture to the person you are closest to in the world. They still might be so far away from it. Who’s going to be able to see what you see in your mind? NOBODY
You are responsible for showing UP and making it happen. And if anyone else jumps on your wagon, it’s going to happen with or without them. But it’s not going to happen without you.
You have to be willing to look like a fool to yourself. You have to be willing to suck in your own mind. You have to be willing to put out things that you don’t necessarily feel the best about. You have to be willing to go against all of your own judgements of yourself.
THIS IS OUR COMMITMENT:
MY DREAM, my responsibility. MY BEING, my responsibility.
Dreaming is easy. That's why everyone does it.
Why do so few manifest it?
Because they connect to the feeling.
I am living proof of the saying, “Better late than never.” But maybe even more, “You can’t rush the blooming of the flower.”
I wanted to start a podcast 10 years ago. So whoever you are, wherever you are in your life, no matter how old you are, or how long you have spent thinking about doing something- (it’s probably not longer than the time I have spent thinking about things without taking any actual steps towards them),
It’s never too late. I promise.
For so long, I was just a seed. And I needed a lot of water and sunlight before i could grow.
Maybe the conditions weren’t quite right, but they taught me to weather a storm, they taught me to become so resilient.
And, those conditions taught me to find the sun if there was just one ray in the entire sky. I would find it. I would cherish it. I would see it. I would bask in its warmth. I would survive off of it.
You should see what I do with the entire sun’s warmth now.
But I had a journey to get here-
My whole life I had just dreamt and not done.
Today, I do. Today i put these beautiful dreams into words, speech, writing, art, music, shows.
I hope in this podcast and in every medium that you consume my expression, that you will feel my heart-
Because my friends, my heart is the reason I am here
I try my hardest to let it lead and i try my best to let my mind take the back seat
Because, even the most beautiful minds are not good for everything-
Especially going into the unknown. No mind is good for that. Every mind will scream, STOP! DON’T DO IT! DANGER!
But I become better and better at not listening to this beautiful yet fearful mind, sometimes.
I know it’s just trying to protect me. But i need the life i deserve. The one I'm supposed to live. The one only i can live. And i am getting it. It is already mine
That’s what i protect now above all else. TOMORROW... The life I DESERVE.
All my life i have just thought and thought without taking action- Because action requires courage- courage is the action of the heart. And I have been so afraid. But in allowing myself to pursue, giving myself what I deserve, sticking to a schedule and doing what i say i will do, I have discovered a heart whose beauty is beyond anything I could imagine
Today, i’m so glad and i’m so honored to share with you another beautiful expression of me
The podcast is called “Touch Tomorrow” because my whole life I have waited until tomorrow.
Until today.
I love you. See you today.
You have a Great Dream. You have a great vision.
But it's in here.
And you really want it out there.
But time flies, and you still don't see your vision out there.
**But you know that it will come true one day. But that day is not today. And you think it will be tomorrow.
But you said tomorrow yesterday. And ten years have passed.**
What role do you have to play in order to see your vision in this world?
Who do you have to be in order to manifest this Great Dream?
How should you think, behave, act?