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I need to tell you about this chick named Ingrid.
I met her a long time ago, at my first corporate internship in NYC. It was my first time working in a glimmering, glassy office building, with the first professional ID badge I got to swipe in the lobby.
Poised at my desk, with a view overlooking the Union Square farmer’s market, my supervisor had just given me my first solo assignment. I was buzzing.
Until I heard Ingrid say to me under her breath, “You’re gonna screw this up.”
Wait, what?
“You don’t belong here, and we both know you can’t do this.”
Her voice was low, but biting, and she spoke with such snarky conviction that I actually paused and thought,
“Maybe she’s right.”
I indulged in her words for a moment too long, starting to second-guess my abilities and whether I deserved this amazing opportunity. How did Ingrid know I’d spent that morning trying to avoid those very thoughts?
Somehow, I’ve run into Ingrid at every job since that first internship, even at grad school, and she’s always had something nasty to say to me:
“You don’t have what it takes to be successful.”
“People will never take you seriously.”
“You’re way too sensitive, it’s pathetic.”
Ouch.
Ingrid is my inner critic.
She may not be a real person, but “her” words certainly poke at my realest insecurities.
I gave these critical thoughts their own name in order to separate them from my helpful self-talk. “Ingrid” may think these things, but I know that I don’t really think them about myself.
Now, when I hear that cruel whisper in my ear- during the work day, when I’m falling asleep at night, even on a casual walk around the block- I recognize it and say, “LOL, that’s just Ingrid. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. BYE, INGRID.”
And I remember who’s really in charge of my thoughts and how I feel about myself in any given moment- me.
What name would you give to your inner critic?
KEEP GOING
📖 Read: I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), by Brene Brown. This book was my introduction to the goddess that is Brene Brown. Here, Brown shares the results of her extensive research on women and shame and how painfully common our deepest insecurities actually are. One caveat: I prefer to listen to Brown speak, as I find that her books can get too academic at times. This was true at some points in “I Thought It Was Just Me,” but it was still worth the read.
🌟 Revisit Your “More Me” Treasure Chest. Remember this gem from Issue 1? Open up that capsule of tokens and treasures that remind you of your you-ness, the real you, the you that you’re most proud of. I just updated my playlist this week, filled with songs that just make me inexplicably happy. I titled it “Trust” as a reminder to trust the timing of life.
⚙️ Play with potential career pivots. Did you catch LinkedIn’s new beta tool, Career Explorer? It’s the perfect starting point for those of us wondering where our current skills can translate to new roles. I put together a short how-to video for you here.
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