Today I’d like to talk about something that comes up very frequently in my sessions. It’s about apologies that don’t feel enough. What happens when someone says "I'm sorry" but it doesn't relieve us? What can be going on when we are the ones who ask for forgiveness and the other person doesn’t take it well? In your work or in your personal life, you’ve surely been on one side or the other.

It’s important to be well equipped to be able to ask for forgiveness with real intention. Writer Gilbert Chesterton said it very clearly, “A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.” The key is to help heal the wound with sincere regret.

So, if saying "I'm sorry" isn't enough, what are the ingredients of a real apology?