Russian Dictator: “Boy, is this going to be good!”

Hispanic Dictator: “Oh, yeah? What’s cooking?”

Russian D: “Only the best stew ever! I’ve cooked up a nice, fat, juicy virus. Haha. Want a taste?”

Hispanic D: “Ah, no thanks. I’m on a diet. Deadly viruses are strictly off-limits. Who’s it for?”

Russian D: “It’s a gift for my freedom-loving friends.”

Hispanic D: “Haha! Nice gift! How will you give it to them?”

Russian D: “Well, it will have to be a secret, of course. I love secrets. Don’t you?”

Hispanic D: “Are you kidding? Secrets and lies are my stock-in-trade! But I still don’t understand what the purpose of your virus is.”

Russian D: “Why, to wreak havoc, death, and destruction, of course!”

Hispanic D: “Nice! But how do you intend to pull it off? Deadly viruses can be tricky to work with. Not that I would know, of course. We would never deal in such atrocities.”

Russian D: “Right, right. Your morality shames me. At any rate, the key is the pre-made cure. First, the virus will be released right here, in my own backyard. Being a repressive regime, I can declare an emergency and lock down my citizens immediately. People will have to comply. I am a repressive regime, after all. By locking down, we’ll be able to limit the damage. But since the virus is very contagious, inevitably some infected people will make it to other countries.”

Hispanic D: “Hey, wait a minute! What about my country?”

Russian D: “No problem! You are a repressive regime, too! You can lock everybody down the same way I can!”

Hispanic D: “True, but we can’t be locked down forever.”

Russian D: “That’s where the pre-made cure comes in! After a while, we announce that we’ve miraculously invented a vaccine to protect against this dreaded virus. We will inoculate our population first, and then generously offer the cure to other nations. Think of the positive publicity!”

Hispanic D: “Ah, put me first in line for the cure please!”

Russian D: “No worries! After all, we repressive regimes need to stick together!”

Hispanic D: “And what about those freedom-loving countries? What happens to them?”

Russian D: “That is the best part! They will be in total chaos. You see, they can’t lock down. Their citizens won’t listen to scientific reason. And not being authoritative states, the populace will spread the virus like crazy! They will squeal about their freedom, which in this case includes the freedom to die.”