People have different standards, let them decide what they need help with and how. After all, try to help people the way they want to be helped not the way you want to help. 
Often is better to take other's request/comments at face value, not base on the previous experiences, otherwise its like eating in a dish that hasn't been cleaned up, you get the previous food flavor in the new one. yuck! 
Any change should be discussed and hopefully agreed upon by all parties, even if the change is for the better. 3 way communication is key. 
Repeat what you have been asked to do and wait for a yes/confirmed answer. 
Do you ask what and how you can help or simply help. Do you ask for help for clean up and why?