The time has come to move beyond the references and write the actual paper. Unfortunately I was only able to write the introduction, and while I do recognize that progress is progress, sometimes we really are just expected to progress at a minimum rate, which I feel I have been unable to meet.
I kept getting stuck in writing one part, while the rest waits in a long, unmoving queue. But then when I took a break and washed the dishes, I was immediately able to think of a new way to approach my paragraphs.
I have long recognized the importance of breaks, but I don’t think I have been doing the right kinds. True, the body needs to rest, but I end up sleeping more than actually working, because when I go to bed for a nap and return to the same task, it’s like I never left the page and no new perspectives have been added. So I’m still tired.
In contrast, washing the dishes required a different kind of attention, I was exercising different muscles, and obviously there were different senses being stimulated — my hands being submerged in soapy water, the sounds of plates and utensils hitting each other as they parked at the strainer — different sights indeed, and this allowed me to meditate on what I was feeling and look back at the thoughts I had earlier from a more detached perspective. I returned to my room still physically drained from exerting myself in writing, but now with refreshed perspectives on how to proceed with my work.
In our daily lives, sometimes we also need to take a step back and look at things from a detached perspective. Changing our perspectives is admittedly hard, and sometimes we might already be on okay paths, but to zoom out a bit and see where our sights were set: that allows us to evaluate what we were doing then and judge as to whether we need to make any changes. If so, what exactly are those changes that need to happen? What is the direction we need to change into? And what areas need a bit more help or improvement?
I admit I do not take these important steps in reflection as often as I thought I did, but it would be great to integrate them more often as we continue this final stretch for the semester. And maybe then can I have a real break from things, free from worrying where I could have done better, and rest towards building the better me tomorrow.
Music used: Inawashiro by Crownie Lofi
https://www.youtube.com/c/CrownieMusic