Everything Always: Recent Episodes
Michael and Summer Mulder
We got married with children, together we have 4 kids! We want to share what works for us and what doesn't. For step-parents, co-parents, marriage, being your best self, managing work, family, friends & health... we're going to talk about everything, always.
Going through divorce and family troubles is incredibly personal and can be difficult to talk about on a public platform. However, by discussing these issues, we can help others navigate their way through these real-life hardships that so many people have to deal with. So, in this episode, we have Mike’s nephew, Anthony Ellsworth joining the show to share his story of divorce, co-parenting his kids in two different locations, and the struggles with dating as a newly single father.
Listen in as Anthony explains when he started to notice that his marriage was not as strong as it once was and how his mental health was impacted during his divorce. You will learn what Anthony did to ensure his daughter never had negative feelings towards her mom, why you must show up for your children consistently, and his advice for those going through a divorce right now.
5:00 - 7:00 - Anthony’s background and how his upbringing impacted his life.
7:00 - 10:30 - When Anthony realized his marriage was starting to fall apart.
10:30 - 14:05 - How Anthony navigated his way through his divorce.
14:05 - 20:25 - How Anthony made sure that there was nothing bad said about his daughter's mother in front of her.
20:25 - 23:05 - How to cope with the grief of divorce.
23:20 - 28:00 - How Anthony handled co-parenting from two different locations.
28:00 - 34:30 - If Anthony has any regrets from his divorce.
34:30 - 41:00 - The importance of showing up for your children consistently.
41:00 - 44:30 - The benefit of remembering that your life will go through seasons and things will pass.
44:30 - 49:02 - Anthony’s advice for others going through divorce.
Takeaways:
- The importance of not dragging out your divorce for the sake of your children.
- Why so many people follow the same patterns as their parents.
- How your upbringing can make a big impact on the way you deal with trauma.
- How Anthony handled going through a divorce during a pandemic.
- What Anthony did to help his mental health through his divorce.
- The importance of showing up consistently for your children.
Quotes:
“Show up for your kid consistently.” - Anthony Ellsworth
“I made sure that I never gave [anyone] a reason to talk bad about my daughter's mom because I didn’t want my daughter to think badly about her.”- Anthony Ellsworth
“Nobody is perfect.” - Anthony Ellsworth
3 Interesting Clips:
10:30 - 11:15 - How Anthony’s upbringing impacted his adult life.
15:45 - 18:40 - How Anthony’s mental health suffered through his divorce and what he did to work through it.
28:00 - 30:00 - The importance of setting a great example for your children through a healthy, happy relationship with your co-parent.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in Apple, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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How much pain are you experiencing because you feel less than warm and secure in your own home? If you feel like your family life has turned into a battlefield or that being in a blended family is non-stop fighting, this episode is for you. Dr. Patty Ann Tublin joins the show today to share from her wealth of knowledge as a relationship, communication, and emotional intelligence expert.
Listen in as she shares ways for your family to break free from the cycle of screaming and yelling at each other. Her insight into helping your kids to get along better is incredibly valuable, and she provides tools to help you manage your family better. You will walk away with actionable and WORKING ways to make your home a peaceful place again.
0:56 – 7:53 - Who Patty is and her expertise in successful relationships.
7:54 – 13:45 – Where to go when you’re feeling disconnect and tension in your home life.
13:45 – 17:45 - The difference between the romantic relationship and the family relationship working or not working.
17:55 – 29:29 – Setting boundaries and the security that comes with that.
29:30 – 37:24 – How to manage time and feeling like there’s just not enough.
37:25 – 43:15 – The importance of empathy and connection when parenting imperfectly.
43:16 – 49:35 – Patty’s book on entrepreneurship and how she navigated business and children.
49:36 – 101:32 – Finding the right way to do things and communicating well verbally and non-verbally.
Takeaways:
- Go into a blended family situation with aligned (and realistic) expectations.
- The romantic relationship often becomes a casualty of a blended family not working.
- You need boundaries and alignment on rules and expectations.
- It’s important to communicate about things that bother you.
- Be clear on who you are, what you want, what your core values are, and how you live them out.
- Parent imperfectly with connection and empathy.
- Do what works for YOUR life and don’t get wrapped in what other people think is the “right way.”
Quotes:
“The perfect storm comes whenever it feels like it.” – Dr. Patty Ann Tublin
“Pull yourself out emotionally, and your partner, and tell them you need to have a talk about expectations.” – Dr. Patty Ann Tublin
“The pace of the world is like a squirrel on crack cocaine. We have the responsibility to set our pace, and if we don’t, we’ve abdicated that to someone else.” – Dr. Patty Ann Tublin
3 Interesting Clips:
12:04 - 13:10 – Where to start when you see signs of trouble and how to go into a blended family.
18:35 – 19:01 – What to do when rules and expectations in different homes don't align.
22:34 – 23:00 – What to do when you “didn’t sign up for this.”
49:37 – 50:33 – How to do it the “right way.”
Links:
- Dr. Patty Ann Tublin: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
- Not Tonight Dear, I've Got A Business To Run! by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin
- Money Can Buy You Happiness by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in Apple, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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ListenNotes
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Talking about sex with your children can feel awkward for many people. However, talking about sex, sexuality, and bodies with your child from a young age can help your child understand that sex and sexuality are healthy parts of life. So, where do you even begin this conversation? And what do you need to say? Here to help us dive into this topic further and answer all of your questions is Andrea Brand, life coach and passionate proponent of comprehensive sex education.
Listen in as Andrea explains the right time to bring sex up with your children, as well as what you should do if your child is a teenager and you haven’t had “the talk” yet. You will learn how to make this topic less uncomfortable, how to ensure your children are staying safe during sex, and what to do if you are raising a child with an ex and you have different views about this topic.
02:00 - 3:30 - What made Andrea a passionate proponent of comprehensive sex education.
3:30 - 5:00 - How the way we were brought up impacts our thoughts about sex.
5:26 - 9:47 - The right age to start talking about sex.
9:47 - 21:00 - Simple steps to take to make the conversation less awkward.
22:00 - 28:00 - What to do if you’re raising a child with an ex and you have different views.
28:00 - 37:00 - Ways to start this conversation with your kids.
37:00 - 47:45 - The risks of not having this conversation with your children.
Takeaways:
- When you should start talking to your kids about sex.
- When it is too late to start talking about sex.
- How to bring the topic of sex up with your children.
- How to talk about sex with your children when you are co-parenting.
- What to do if you have different values from your co-parent.
Quotes:
“Take a slow, deep breath and know that you’re not alone [in feeling awkward about conversations around sex] and know that you’ve go this.” - Andrea Brand
“It’s never too late [to start talking about sex].” - Andrea Brand
“The more we walk about [sex], the less uncomfortable it’s going to get.” - Andrea Brand
3 Interesting Clips:
5:25 - 7:15 - When to bring the conversation of sex up with your children.
10:45 - 14:40 - How to make the conversation less uncomfortable.
32:00 - 35:00 - How to start the conversation with your child.
Links:
- Andrea Brand: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram
- Stop Sweating & Start Talking by Andrea Brand
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in Apple, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
No matter how great you are at handling behavioral problems with your child, there always seems to be more that you can learn. Today’s guest is Kimball Lewis, owner and CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. He dives into the reasons why kids act out and shares insight into how to find parenting solutions that address what’s going on beneath the surface.
Listen in as Kimball discusses the ways that parents can deal with difficult kids and offer problem-solving skills that allow for a better relationship. You'll learn the importance of having a unified front as parents and providing consistent consequences and enforcement. Kimball also shares incredible parenting insight and effective takeaways that can improve your parenting skills.
00:58 – 04:43 – Who Kimball is and all about the Transformation Workshop.
04:44 – 10:28 - The time when parents tend to reach out for help and why kids act out.
10:29 – 17:57 - Why you may need to adjust your parenting style for difficult kids.
17:58 – 28:12 - The importance of clear consequences and parents having a unified front.
28:13 – 44:15 - How to avoid the power struggle and quick tips for handling common parenting situations.
44:16 – 56:08 - Underlying self-esteem issues and how behavior is intertwined with that.
50:10 – 56:27 - The truth about our difficult kids and future leaders.
Takeaways:
- You don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to.
- Kids act out to solve their problems.
- The parent isn’t the problem—they are the solution.
- You and your spouse need a unified front.
- Explain yourself once and move on.
Quotes:
"You don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to." – James Lehman
"As a young person, you don’t know how to deal effectively with frustration." – Kimball Lewis
"The kids who are difficult are going to be difficult no matter what. You’re going to have to adjust your parenting style." – Kimball Lewis
3 Interesting Clips:
7:38 – 8:44 - Why kids act out.
11:39 – 12:11 – Why the parent is the solution.
22:04 – 22:43 – Navigating blended families: “The kids didn’t ask for this.”
Links:
- Kimball Lewis: LinkedIn | Website
- James Lehman
- Explain Yourself Once and Move On
- I'm 18 - You Can’t Tell Me What To Do
- "I Hate You Mom I Wish You Were Dead"
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in Apple, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
If you are separated from the other parent of your child, your experience with co-parenting could be anything from calm to very challenging. Oftentimes, with different houses come different rules, and these different parenting styles can make the already tricky time of co-parenting even harder. So, what do you do if you don’t agree with the way your ex parents? In this episode, we will be sharing our advice on what we believe is the best way to handle different parenting styles.
Listen in as we explain how to shift your thoughts and mindset around divorce and blended families to be more positive—because it doesn’t have to be a negative or bad thing. You will learn how to speak to your child about their other parent (even when you disagree with them), why it is not up to you to decide how your ex parents when you’re not there, and the benefit of always being clear with the rules you create for your kids.
01:40 - 4:30 - What to do when you hate the way your ex parents.
4:30 - 6:30 - What birdhouse parenting is.
6:30 - 9:00 - How to change your mindset around divorce and blended families.
9:00 - 12:00 - How to find common ground with your ex when it comes to parenting.
12:00 - 15:00 - The importance of never speaking negatively about your co-parent.
15:20 - 19:00 - How to discuss the different rules you may have with your child.
19:00 - 26:25 -The importance of good communication with your ex and your child.
Takeaways:
- What to do when you hate the way your ex parents.
- The importance of recognizing the difference between dangerous situations and situations you simply disagree with.
- Why being divorced doesn’t have to be a negative thing.
- Why you can’t control how your co-parent parents.
- How to communicate calmly with your ex.
Quotes:
“There is a difference between not liking what the other parent is doing and having your kids in dangerous situations.” - Mike
“Sometimes change is good and overcoming challenging things makes you stronger.” - Mike
“Life is always going to be throwing different challenges.” - Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
1:50- 2:30 - Why so many people struggle with this issue.
7:30 - 8:40 - How to shift your mindset around blending families.
11:00 - 11:50 - How to find common ground with a co-parent.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in Apple, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
It’s been a year since we last released an episode, and we’re so excited to say that we’re back! The past year has brought many ups and downs, all of which we will be sharing with you in this episode. We will be explaining what we’ve been up to, a refresh on why we’ve created this podcast in the first place, and a sneak peek at what you can expect to hear in the coming weeks.
Listen in as we describe our exciting new family member and why we don’t share certain personal aspects of our lives online. You will learn why we’re so passionate about sharing our experience with divorce and blending families, why we never bring our children into our adult matters, and so much more.
00:50 - 4:30 - Why we went off the air for a year.
4:30 - 10:55 - Our exciting new family member.
11:47 - 14:25 - Why we don’t get as personal on this podcast.
15:00 - 21:00 - What made us start this podcast in the beginning.
21:00 - 25:30 - The importance of finding help and support if you’re feeling unsure about how to get through divorce.
25:30 - 31:00 - What we plan on talking about on this show in the future.
Takeaways:
- Where we’ve been.
- The importance of keeping certain things private.
- The struggles that come along with blending a family.
- Why it is essential to be open to new ideas.
- Why you should never bring your children into divorce-related issues.
Quotes:
“Having a dog is as much—if not more—work than having a child.” - Mike
“We’re not experts. We’re just people trying to figure it out.” - Mike
“We’re not going to talk poorly about people in the family.” - Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
12:45 - 13:30 - Why we don’t share everything about our lives on this podcast.
16:00 - 16:40 - Why we’re so passionate about this podcast and sharing our knowledge on this topic.
18:20 - 19:30 - The importance of keeping your divorce-related issues away from your children.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in Apple, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
You probably guessed by the episode title that today is our anniversary! July is a big month: it’s Summer’s birthday month, we celebrate Independence Day, and the best part of July is the day that we celebrate our commitment to each other.
In this episode, we’re reminiscing about the past and sharing how our relationship has grown stronger over the years despite the many challenges and obstacles that life has sometimes thrown our way. We are also divulging our biggest piece of advice for other couples to remember when times are hard - because even the strongest relationships experience hardship, but it’s in the adversity that we can really grow together.
2:00 - 3:00 - Why we love July.
3:00 - 4:04 - Reminiscing about the past.
4:05 - 7:59 - What is the biggest difference between being married and dating?
8:00 - 11:39 - Adversity makes you stronger together.
11:40 - 16:44 - Summer’s favorite all-time family memory.
16:45 - 20:27 - Our advice for pushing through those hard times.
Takeaways:
- July is the best month.
- Perspective is everything.
- Embrace adversity.
- Love grows exponentially.
- Make time to be together.
Quotes:
“The longer I’m with you, the more I like you.” - Mike
“Adversity makes you stronger.” - Mike
“Those moments when everyone is disconnected but so connected to each other makes you feel so warm and fuzzy and puts perspective on all the things that we have gone through.” - Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
8:55 - 9:25 - Our love grows deeper and stronger with every challenge thrown our way.
14:00 - 14:40 - The importance of putting things into perspective.
18:00 - 18:20 - Make your relationship a priority, always.
Links:
- Everything Always Episode 02: The Story of Us. The Story of You.
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
Your family needs you at your best, but when conflict creeps in between your partner and their ex, it has a tendency to wind you up tight and cause all kinds of frustration and anxiety. So how can this be avoided? And how do you, as a step-parent, know where to draw the line when it comes to your involvement? In this episode, I will be talking about what you can do in these situations, what we have done, and what step-parents are not responsible for doing.
This is a one-on-one session, just me and you, where you’ll get a better understanding of what you can control, what you can’t control, and how to show up for yourself and others in the best way. My ultimate goal is to let you know that you’re not alone and that you shouldn’t be full of guilt and anxiety over these situations. After this episode, you will be able to breathe a little easier and have more clarity on what you can and cannot do as a step-parent.
2:20 – 4:22 – A thank-you from me to you.
4:23 – 5:57 – Why I’m talking about step-parent issues
5:58 – 10:45 – The disruption that conflict has on you and your family.
10:46 – 14:04 – What you can’t control.
14:05 – 21:17 – What you can do.
21:18 – 25:55 – The most important influence you have.
25:56 – 28:29 – How to bring positivity and perspective.
28:30 – 38:05 – The opportunity that comes with hard times.
Takeaways:
- How you are brought down, even by things that have nothing to do with you.
- Why you can’t change another person’s behavior.
- Why focusing on you will help you show up better for others.
- How to contribute to the situation without going too far.
- Why you should embrace challenges and treat them as opportunities for unity.
Quotes:
“If you are the step-parent and your partner is going through an icky, terrible mess, even if you think it is about you, it really isn’t.” - Summer
“You’re probably putting an overwhelming amount of pressure on yourself thinking that somehow you can control all of these outcomes, but all of these outcomes have little to do with you.” - Summer
“Be that sounding board for the anger or venting without inserting your judgment unless asked—and sometimes not even then!” - Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
5:05 – 5:29 – An important reminder about being a step-parent.
11:44 – 12:24 – Your role in changing other people’s behavior.
14:35 – 15:12 – The importance of a clear head.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
Bringing a new person into your child’s life can be confusing and difficult for both you and your child, but there are ways to do it with love and understanding. Karyn Glemaud joins us on the show today to give us some great ideas for how to make the blending process go more smoothly from the start of dating all the way through marriage and moving in together.
Karyn is an entrepreneur, student, and children’s book author who co-wrote a book with her son. She shares from her own experience in a very blended family and discusses how she encourages communication, listening, and empathy—but also firmness through the whole process. You will also get to hear about why she decided to write a book and the impact of this book on her own blending experience.
1:40 – 3:50 – Who Karyn is and her experience in business and writing about a blended family.
3:51 – 8:49 – Why she decided to move to New Zealand and write a book with her son.
8:50 – 11:07 – Insight on when and how to introduce your children to someone new.
11:08 – 14:39 - The importance of sharing relationships the right way.
14:40 – 24:44 – How to make sure everyone feels important and valued in a blended family.
24:45 - 30:49 – How to deal with the pressure of business, a busy life, and guilt while handling a blended family.
30:50 – 33:54 – The learning curve of business success and blending families.
33:55 – 38:48 – Where to find Karyn's book and other resources.
Takeaways:
- Figuring out the timing of allowing children to meet a new partner.
- The importance of location.
- Why it’s key to listen to the child’s feelings but also stand firm.
- How to ensure everyone feels valued.
- Handling the guilt and pressure that comes with being a mom and a business owner.
Quotes:
“I encourage people to not be afraid and to lead with love.” - Karyn
“Ultimately, I think it’s important for you to find love and be able to share that with your children. Your children should see a good example of a loving relationship.” - Karyn
“There’s no right answer, and every child will respond differently.” - Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
6:09 – 6:30 – How her son became her co-author.
9:42 – 10:24 – Validating your child’s feelings while still being firm.
11:12 – 11:45 – The importance of being an example and sharing the right things with your children.
Links:
- Karyn Glemaud: Website | Facebook
- Mommy’s New Friend by Karyn Glemaud
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
Being in a blended family and dealing with an ex that puts a strain on your marriage is something a lot of people deal with. In this episode, Kate Anthony joins the show to share her insight on surviving divorce and making key decisions that will help you deal with exes, a difficult second marriage, blending for a second time and more. She has helped women all around the world to make the most difficult decision of their lives and transition out of toxic marriages.
If you are trying to decide whether to heal your relationship or find a way out, Kate has an incredible way of putting things in perspective and shares key steps you should take in order to make a wise and thoughtful decision. Kate talks about things that a lot of us might not want to own up to and it’s so important to hear that and learn from that. She pulls from her own experience along with that of those she has coached and you will be able to gain some incredible insight from that.
6:34 – 9:12 – The "should I stay or should I go" conversation and how common it is for even 2nd & 3rd marriages.
9:13 – 14:59 – Kate’s experience in a volatile abusive marriage and what brought her to helping other people through divorce.
15:00 – 21:25 – Dealing with a dramatic ex and an interesting situation she got herself into with her ex.
21:26 – 27:02 - What the shifting of primary is and how to embrace and recognize it.
27:03 – 24:05 – Making things smoother for the kids and what it takes to get there.
24:06 – 41:25 – How to think clearly in a stressful state and make the best decision for yourself and others.
42:26 – 48:24 – The importance of knowing yourself well and how that effects our relationships.
48:25 – 56:03 – How to not drag your kids through the mud while you’re going through relationship problems.
56:04 – 1:02:06 – Do kids deserve to know the truth about the divorce?
Takeaways:
- How to know when to stick it out when it comes to a second marriage becoming rocky.
- The importance of doing the healing work and taking responsibility for your decisions.
- Advice on how to decide whether to blend a whole new family (the second time around).
- Overstepping boundaries when it comes to the ex and their new partner.
- The importance of navigating family dynamics with the kids in mind.
Quotes:
“You can sign the papers but it doesn’t mean anything if you keep up a relationship that continues the dynamic.” - Kate
“This person may be a total ahole but you picked the ahole.” - Kate
“If you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, it probably will. So protect yourself and have those boundaries.” - Kate
3 Interesting Clips:
4:15 – 5:20 – A little (important) secret that Kate and Summer share.
7:00 – 7:36 – The reality of 2nd divorces and having to blend again.
14:01 – 14:43 – How to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes over and over.
Links:
- Kate Anthony: Website | Blog | Instagram | Facebook Community
- The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
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A lot of our episodes are focused around the challenges that come with being part of a blended family and parenting, but today we’re doing a bit of a shift. In this episode, we're diving into what our children learn in school, how they learn in school, and how we can encourage them to realize their potential. We’ll be talking with an expert, Kelsey Komorowski, about the difference between teaching vs. learning and how we can ensure that we’re putting our children in the best position to truly learn.
Listen in as Kelsey discusses how we as parents can foster increased engagement and foster a stronger ability to learn in our children. She shares some of the key issues kids tend to have when it comes to actually learning and how their learning environment has a huge effect on that. Kelsey has a fascinating perspective on education, and we think that any parent will really enjoy this episode and get a lot of valuable information from it.
5:52 – 10:56 - The importance of paradigm shifts and why Kelsey stepped into the education space.
10:57 – 13:09 - What we can do as parents to encourage more effective learning and excitement for learning in our children.
13:10 – 14:23 - How Komo Consulting works with teachers to bridge the gap between classroom teaching and at-home learning.
14:24 – 20:59 - The reasons families want to work with Komo Consulting and the transformations that come from that.
21:00 – 33:41 - How the transformations actually happen and how parents can facilitate change.
33:42 – 47:16 - The feelings that happen when we are learning and how to teach problem-solving, resilience, and confidence.
Takeaways:
- Why we need to focus on the things that get kids excited.
- Why parents need to be taught alongside and as well as their kids.
- The importance of understanding what skill-building really is.
- Why we need to re-think the role of educators, teachers, and ourselves as parents.
- How we’re able to help our kids realize how much potential they have.
Quotes:
“There’s an assumption that being taught to in the classroom equates to learning, and that’s just not true.” - Kelsey
“You can be the best teacher in the world, but if the student isn’t tapped into themselves as a learner, it’s not going to matter.” - Kelsey
“It doesn’t matter what you’re being taught—what’s important is what you’re learning.” - Kelsey
3 Interesting Clips:
11:50 – 12:54 - What school is for and how we should view it.
17:45 – 18:35 - The problem of identity and grades.
23:21 – 24:22 - Why student achievement is greatly shaped by household dynamics.
Links:
- Kelsey Komorowski
- Komo Consulting
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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If you’re a step-parent, you know what it’s like to parent and to raise other people's children. Today we’ll be joined by Debbie Ausburn, and we're diving into the complexities, hurdles, and important needs involved with this. She will share insight that might shed light on the unrealistic standards we hold for ourselves and take some of the pressure off in regards to how we think things are “supposed to be.”
Listen in as Debbie shares from her experience as a lawyer, foster parent, step-parent, and caregiver of other people’s children. Her passion and experience are in working with traumatized children, serving as a board member, and representing youth-serving organizations. We talk about how you can make the most of your relationship with your stepchildren and have a rewarding relationship, as well as the number one relationship when it comes to having a blended family.
6:35 - 10:12 – An overview of Debbie’s history and why she wrote her book on parenting.
10:13 – 17:57 - The key to understanding a child’s perspective and your position as a non-biological parent.
17:58 – 20:38 - How to deal with guilt in your situation and embrace the journey the best you can.
20:39 – 27:01 - Where the true priority lies in order to make things work with your blended family.
27:02 – 30:28 - The responsibility of the child and how the commitment is one-way.
30:29 – 36:12 - How to have a more rewarding relationship with a teenager.
36:13 – 45:38 - How to deal with authority, setting rules, and being there the best you can.
Takeaways:
- The biggest life lessons that came with Debbie serving many children.
- The importance of understanding your position in a child’s life and setting up structure.
- Why we feel guilt and how to deal with that guilt as a step-parent.
- How to have a rewarding relationship with teenagers or more difficult children.
- Practical tips and tools for being a step-parent and helping raise other people’s children.
Quotes:
“Challenges arise no matter how skilled or how well equipped we are.” - Summer
“We are their second choice as parents, and that’s okay. We can still have a great relationship.” - Debbie
“From a child’s point of view, I am in their life because the world isn’t working the way that it should.” - Debbie
3 Interesting Clips:
10:22 – 12:00 - What to understand when it comes to being a parent to a child that is not yours biologically.
13:26 – 14:29 - An important tool to use when parenting other people’s children.
16:45 – 17:57 - Something that really helps put things in perspective when it comes to addressing challenging situations.
Links:
- Debbie Ausburn: Website | YouTube | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
- Raising Other People's Children by Debbie Ausburn
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Today’s episode is on high conflict divorces and our guest today is super fun, wicked smart and really helpful when it comes to navigating rough times. Matthew Barach, known as “the fixer” in Massachusetts family law. He owns his own law firm, over 20 years in family law experience, and is dedicated to excellence when it comes to family law
I love talking to an attorney who cares about all parties involved and that is definitely Matthew. He has a ton of insight and wisdom when it comes to dealing with a high conflict divorce. You will get some incredible information, tips and advice on how to navigate a challenging divorce in a way that does the least damage as possible.
7:26 – 8:42 – The truth about divorce and being a divorce lawyer.
8:43 – 14:56 – How Matthew ended up in family law and why divorce isn’t about winning.
14:57 - 19:01 – How to deal with parental alienation in the court and the role lawyers have in it.
19:02 – 23:58 – What to do when parental alienation happens and crafting a solution that works on both sides.
23:59 – 32:58 – Clarifying a father’s rights and the impact of changing roles on divorce outcomes.
32:59 - 41:35 – The importance of shielding your child from the divorce process.
Takeaways:
- What parental alienation means in the eyes of the court and how it might be different from what you see.
- What actually fixes parental alienation and how you can do your best to do that.
- Clarifying father’s rights and what you can do to prepare.
- Dealing with the stigma placed on parents who have less custody time.
- What’s really important when it comes to being a parent.
Quotes:
“Every single solitary study says that children that were exposed to the divorce, during the time when parents were getting a divorce, had long term effects. BUT children who were not exposed to the divorce process do not have lingering effects when they’re older.” – Matthew Barach
“It’s not really about the lawyers or judges, it’s about the parents making a decision, jointly or singularly to protect their children from the divorce.” - Matthew Barach
“Nobody ever wins a divorce, that’s a misnomer and it’s not how it works.” - Matthew Barach
3 Interesting Clips:
12:02 – 12:59 – The gratifying part that comes post-divorce.
16:03 – 16:48 – The difficulty of proving parental alienation in court.
20:02 – 21:02 - How to actually FIX parental alienation.
Links:
- Matthew Barach: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook
- A Family Law Guide to Appellate Practice by Matthew Barach
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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We are so pumped to share this episode featuring Tim Kellis with you! Tim is a coach who specializes in fixing the problems in marriages that cause people to break up and get divorced. You will hear about the number of second marriages that fail, the reasons that contribute to them failing and learn key ways to avoid or squash those issues if they crop up in your own marriage.
Tim has a great way of breaking down big problems into simple, bite-size pieces that really give us the ability to process them and understand them better. You will gain insight into common marriage issues that crop up and how to solve them in simple, effective ways. As Mike says in the intro, “If you’re hoping to get a divorce, don’t listen to this episode.”
5:00 – 9:08 - The scary number of divorces in 2nd marriages and why Tim is passionate about helping people stay married.
9:09 - 11:49 - The issue with current marriage therapy and what is missing from it.
11:50 - 19:57 - The common reasons why relationships are successful (or not) and the main reason for disagreements.
19:58 - 17:50 - Why spiritual transformation is important to your relationship and how to grow together.
17:51 - 34:58 - How to navigate the tension of finances and other sticky subjects you disagree on.
34:59 – 39:39 - How to not be controlled by fear and limiting beliefs while understanding equality.
39:40 – 52:16 – The important things in life and how our priorities got skewed.
Takeaways:
- The value of addressing marriage mentally vs. behaviorally.
- Why the love languages haven’t solved the marriage problem.
- The common factor in unsuccessful relationships.
- Why mental problems are mental-based.
- What you should be learning when going through the divorce process in order to move into your next relationship effectively.
- The importance of creating a judgement-free zone for your relationship.
- Why always seeking understanding first is so valuable.
Quotes:
“My approach is to understand how to make marriage work from a mental perspective and when I’ve solved the problem, the solution is equality.” – Tim Kellis
“There’s no psychological component to the 5 Love Languages.” - Tim Kellis
“The reason why relationships are successful is because couples get along. The reason why relationships are unsuccessful is because couples don’t get along.” - Tim Kellis
3 Interesting Clips:
8:43-9:08 – Why Tim addresses marriage mentally.
7:43-11:50 - The problem with love languages in an insecure relationship.
15:12-17:52 - The hierarchy of the problem and how that plays into your relationship.
Links:
- Tim Kellis: timkellis@happyrelationships.com | Facebook | Clubhouse
- The Marriage Support Group
- Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage by Tim Kellis
- Karl Jung
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Are you going through (or have you gone through) a custody battle? If so, and if you have questions about the processes, the money, the emotions, the risks and more, you’re going to want to listen in to what Renee Rodriguez has to say. She joins us on the show as someone who has been through all of this and will be sharing strategy, tips and wisdom on how to walk into that courtroom with confidence.
If you’ve asked the questions, “How long will this go on?” or “Wait, we already did this and it's years later and we’re doing it again?” in regards to custody proceedings, this episode is for you. You will learn about what it’s like to work with attorneys on a custody case and how to have a successful relationship with them. Renee also gives some really great guidance on how to be smart about the process and carry it out in a way that will benefit your child first and bring as little damage as possible.
7:19 – 11:34 - How Renee dealt with a high conflict relationship and custody battle and eventually decided to help others in the process.
11:35 - 13:00 - The unexpected situation of custody battles and understanding your role in the situation.
13:01 - 15:27 - The expectations people have for their lawyer and how that is a common downfall.
15:28 – 25:14 - How to know what kinds of evidence are valid, the role of communication and text messages and how to organize it.
25:15 – 30:31 - What to do if the other parent refuses to use an app.
30:32 – 55:10 - How to keep your calm in court and the mindset preparation you can do.
Takeaways:
- What a custody coach is and why it’s so impactful to custody battles.
- The importance of understanding the system and how to be properly prepared.
- Why documentation is so key and how to understand how people will see your ex.
- Communication with your ex and why you should keep it mainly to a parenting platform.
- How to reframe things when you are concerned about your ex and their wishes.
- How to move from texts to parenting platforms amidst push-back.
- The importance of how you appear in court and the need for mindset prep.
Quotes:
“There’s something so stifling and so debilitating when you’re going through [a custody battle] because it’s your CHILD.” - Summer
“You learn all these things in school, you think you know what to expect in life but you don’t learn how to be in family court – that’s not an expectation.” - Renee
“You don’t divorce the person you married. You never would have married the person you divorced.” - Renee
3 Interesting Clips:
8:13 - 8:47 - A key discovery that helped Renee’s recovery.
12:54 - 13:00 - 3 things you need to go into court with.
15:04 - 15:25 - The importance of being cautious with your evidence and using strategy.
Links:
- Renee Rodriguez: Website | Twitter | Facebook
- Template: Timeline of Disturbing Behavior
- Our Family Wizard
- Talking Parents
- Fayr
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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If you’ve just gone through a separation or a breakup and feel unsure of what to do next or stifled in your situation, this episode is for you. Sonia Frontera joins us today to talk about how the troubles that come with an ended marriage are NOT the end of the road, but a detour on the way to happiness. Sonia is a survivor of a toxic marriage and happily remarried, so she has really practical advice and insight to share.
Listen in as we discuss how divorce can cause us to label ourselves and our situation as permanently bad or troubled, as well as how we can avoid that. Sonia also shares her take on how these particular trials can smooth out along the way and how we can move onward and forward to a place of happiness and healing despite everything that seems to be pulling us down. You'll learn some really effective strategies to heal your heart from divorce and find recovery and happiness.
4:22 – 6:02 - Why Sonia is passionate about helping people through divorce and her story with it.
6:03 – 11:29 - What it looks like to have not moved on and how to start moving on.
11:30 – 16:38 – It’s a divorce from your ex, not TO your ex.
16:39 - 26:13 – Why your divorce and ex shouldn’t control your narrative and where your focus should be in order to be happy.
26:14 – 33:04 – Why you NEED to keep your kids out of the differences with your ex.
33:05 – 38:15 – Why Sonia was inspired to write and a special offer for listeners.
Takeaways:
- Divorce and marital problems are not the end of the road for you.
- The importance of intentionally going out and creating your own happiness.
- Where the focus should be when you’re going through a divorce (and even after).
- Who revenge is really punishing.
- Why compassion and forgiveness are key to your healing and happiness.
Quotes:
“You need to make an effort, and it’s all about baby steps. It’s not like you’re going to wake up and be completely over everything that happened in your marriage.” - Sonia Frontera
“There are so many things you can do to make your life better. Problems in your marriage or divorce are not the end of the road, but a detour on the road to happiness.” - Sonia Frontera
“You cannot love anyone until you love yourself first.” - Sonia Frontera
3 Interesting Clips:
6:22 – 7:49 - Why you may not be able to move on.
9:18 –10:10 - How to find fulfillment and healing.
14:50 – 15:50 – Why revenge shouldn’t have a part in this process.
Links:
- Sonia Frontera: Website | Facebook | Pinterest | Twitter | YouTube
- Relationships Solutions by Sonia Frontera
- Solve the Divorce Dilemma by Sonia Frontera
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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In this episode, we will be doing things a little bit differently. We have been getting a lot of letters from you guys, and we want to be able to read more of them and respond more fully, so today we will be reading through not just one, but multiple letters! You’ll hear a letter to someone who hopes their ex gets the help they need, a letter from a stepmother with a confession, and more.
As we read through these letters, we will also take the time to talk through them and discuss the situations. Listen in as we discuss how to better communicate with an ex and the importance of working and focusing on ourselves. You will also hear how we deal with sharing time, creating routines, and communicating about rules and routines.
4:02 – 5:39 - Our plan to read more letters.
5:40 - 7:47 - A letter to an ex who needs help.
7:48 - 9:14 - Why it’s so important to know you’re not the only one going through the things that come with divorce (and not be afraid to reach out).
9:15 - 13:39 - The difficulty in relaying helpful feedback in a difficult relationship.
13:40 – 16:42 - A letter from a step-mom who feels relieved when her stepkids are away.
16:43 - 19:02 - Knowing that it takes time to find your groove as a mixed family.
19:03 - 25:43 - How to know what can slide and when to be consistent.
25:44 - 31:17 - A letter to an overbearing father and what to do when your ex may be narcissistic.
31:18 - 37:55 - A letter about a TikTok dilemma and how to promote better morals in your home.
Takeaways:
- The importance of going to counseling and working on yourself.
- Why you need to be okay with feeling relieved when step-kids leave the house.
- How to handle an ex who is too hard on your child.
- Why it's crucial to document when a lot of issues are occurring with the other parent.
- How to express your concern about what children put on the internet.
Quotes:
“I used to think we were the only ones who couldn’t figure out how to get along, but then I started seeing people all over the place who were having issues. I really hoped when we got divorced that we could get along.” - Anonymous
“To let it out, to journal—it brings some type of relief.” - Summer
“Be the consistent parent that shows a good example and try to be the best you can for your kids when it’s your time and opportunity. Eventually, the kids will be attracted to that and they’ll want more of that.” - Mike
3 Interesting Clips:
10:30 - 12:27 - What to do when you want to give feedback to a difficult ex.
17:11 - 17:50 - The feelings of missing out on focused attention in a mixed family.
18:01 - 19:03 - What you can control in your home and the importance of communicating with your spouse when it comes to home routines.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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For those of you in a blended family with a special needs child, you know it can be very stressful coming together and there are very few resources available for helping you navigate through it. So to help us discuss this topic more in-depth is Dr. Lynette Louise, an international award-winning speaker, author, consultant, brain change expert, mental health advocate, and—most importantly—mother. In this episode, she will be sharing her expert advice on co-parenting, special needs parenting, and so much more.
Listen in as she explains what led her to adopt multiple children with autism or special needs and what she believes everyone should know before jumping into a blended family. You will discover how to help your children live with their mental health issues and why everyone is responsible for their own actions—including your children. If you’re struggling with parenting, whether your child has special needs or not, this episode will be a powerful tool for discovery and growth.
6:15 - 12:50 - Dr. Lynette’s journey to where she is now.
12:50 - 18:50 - How to know if you’re ready to jump into a blended family.
18:50 - 23:06 - How to have a successful relationship beyond just your children.
23:06 - 30:08 - How to help your child handle their own mental health issues.
30:08 - 40:05 - Why you must learn to make your own mistakes.
Takeaways:
- The importance of communication.
- Why everyone is responsible for their own actions.
- How to help your children learn to live with their special needs.
- The importance of teaching your children how capable they are.
- How to help the people around you flourish.
Quotes:
“I think it’s important to check on yourself and check on the person who is stepping forward and decide, yes, I can take on your package or your steamer trunk full of children.” - Dr. Lynette Louise
“It's a humbling experience to look at yourself, but you have to do it.” - Dr. Lynette Louise
“There has got to be something that cements you together as adults, not just parents.” - Dr. Lynette Louise
3 Interesting Clips:
12:58 - 16:42 - How to decide if you’re in the right position to co-parent or blend a family.
18:45 - 19:56 - The importance of being connected beyond just parenting.
24:00 - 25:55 - How to help your children help themselves.
Links:
- Dr. Lynette Louise: Website | Twitter
- Brain & Body
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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How many times have you heard the word "narcissist" thrown around? Most of us associate this word with someone who is only concerned with themselves, but there may be more to the story. To help us uncover what it really means to be a narcissist—and how to deal with these toxic people in our lives—is Dr. Ramani Durvasula, clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and narcissism expert.
Listen in as we discuss what to do if you co-parent with a narcissist and are concerned about them passing on these toxic traits to your children. You will learn how to identify narcissists, what to do if your ex is turning everyone against you, and what to do if your child is showing narcissistic traits.
9:55 - 12:25 - What got Dr. Ramani interested in narcissism.
13:05 - 15:25 - What a narcissistic personality is.
15:25 - 20:00 - How to identify a narcissist to protect yourself.
20:00 - 30:15 - How to deal with a narcissistic ex.
30:50 - 36:00 - What to do if your child is showing narcissistic traits.
36:00 - 39:58 - Why you need a twelve-month detox after ending a relationship with a narcissist.
39:58 - 46:45 - How to set boundaries with your ex.
46:45 - 51:00 - The roles children play in narcissistic family dynamics.
51:00 - 54:05 - How to get rid of a narcissistic person in your life.
Takeaways:
- How to identify a narcissist.
- How to deal with a narcissist in your life.
- What to do if you’re worried about your narcissistic co-parent passing on toxic traits to your children.
- How to avoid entering a relationship with a narcissist.
- Who narcissists attract.
Quotes:
“You are never going to convince a narcissistic co-parent to do it your way, and if you keep pushing you are going to take a tense situation and turn it into an explosive device.” - Dr. Ramani
“People who have a regular level of insecurity don’t feel the need to shout it from the rooftops. They’re okay. But because [narcissists] are insecure, their whole life is compensation.” - Dr. Ramani
“If you suspect that the patterns in your relationship are this toxic and recognize that the more toxic the patterns the less likely they are to change, the real heavy lifting you need to do is figure out what exactly are you going to do.” - Dr. Ramani
3 Interesting Clips:
13:05 - 14:33 - What a narcissistic personality actually is.
16:45 - 18:30 - How to identify narcissists.
32:10 - 35:04 - What to do if you see narcissistic traits in your children.
Links:
- Dr. Ramani: Website | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Going through a divorce can be a traumatic time for both parents and children. So what measures can you put in place to ensure the least amount of damage is done? Our guest today is J. Camille, a motivational speaker and host of The Shift, and in this episode, she will be sharing her takeaways from growing up with divorced parents, as well as the insights she has looking back on that time now that she's an adult.
Listen in as J. explains what she wishes her parents would have done when they divorced to make it an easier transition for her as a young child. You will learn the importance of open communication with your children, why you should create collaboration over competition, and how to create healthy boundaries for yourself.
5:39 - 7:27 - How J. learned to adjust to The Shift.
7:27 - 10:33 - The truths J. learned from growing up with divorced parents.
10:33 - 13:25 - What she believes would have helped her get through the divorce easier.
13:25 - 16:34 - The importance of collaboration versus competition.
16:34 - 29:45 - How the divorce impacted J.'s life.
29:45 - 33:42 - Why you are not a bad parent—you just have some things to work through.
33:42 - 41:33 - The importance of being slow to speak but quick to listen.
Takeaways:
- What it is like growing up with divorced parents.
- The things J. learned from her childhood.
- The importance of having open communication with your children.
- Why you should never make the child choose.
- The importance of collaboration instead of competition.
Quotes:
“I just wish there would have been a sit-down conversation of the truth… Even if it’s ugly, it would have helped me.” - J. Camille
“A foundation of truth is always the best place to start.” - J. Camille
“You have to create healthy boundaries for yourself.” - Summer Mulder
3 Interesting Clips:
6:00 - 7:27 - Why being adaptable to change is so important.
10:43 - 11:46 - The importance of having open communication with your children.
30:00 - 33:42 - Why you are not a bad person or parent.
Links:
- J Camille: Facebook | Instagram
- The Shift
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
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Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Today’s topic is a bit of a tough one, but it is something that is so important for anyone with older children as they start to experiment with alcohol and/or drugs. We will be discussing substance abuse and addiction with our guest, Richard Capriola, an expert on the subject. With over two decades of experience, Richard will be sharing how to identify the warning signs that your child is struggling and how to approach the conversation with them.
Listen in as we touch on the sensitive topic of eating disorders and self-harm, as well as what to do if you see these changes in your child. You'll learn the different substances that are more commonly used these days, how they differ from older generations, and how to ensure your child is feeling understood and listened to so that you can help them through their addictions or underlying issues.
6:02 - 8:40 - The letter of the day.
8:40 - 11:05 - How Richard got into the mental health industry with a specialty in addictions.
11:05 - 13:11 - The warning signs to be aware of that your child might be struggling with addiction.
13:11 - 16:52 - The different substances to be aware of.
16:52 - 22:15 - Why these substances are being used and abused.
24:03 - 28:30 - The difference between adult addiction and adolescent addiction.
28:30 - 34:03 - How to prevent your child from becoming addicted and help them if they are already suffering.
34:03 - 38:50 - How to support both your child and your family.
Takeaways:
- Warning signs that your child is abusing substances.
- How substances affect your child’s brain development.
- The importance of listening and understanding your children.
- How to discuss this topic with your children.
- Why addiction is so prevalent these days.
Quotes:
“You have to wonder why they are drinking alcohol or why they are using marijuana.” - Richard Capriola
“As parents, we’re always worried about something. There is just different worries at different stages.” Summer Mulder
“Most of the people that I was working with were using substances to medicate an underlying issue.” - Richard Capriola
3 Interesting Clips:
2:20 - 3:02 - The biggest eye-opener when having children.
12:00 - 13:11 - Warning signs to be aware of.
25:00 - 26:28 - How children are getting ahold of dangerous substances.
Links:
- Richard Capriola: Website
- The Addicted Child by Richard Capriola
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
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What if I told you that you have the answers to the things that can solve your problems, determine good choices vs. bad choices, and ultimately make your life better? Many of us don’t know how to trust it, access it, or take full advantage of it, but today we are talking with Sunil Godse about the incredible gift that is our intuition.
Sunil is the CEO and Founder of Intuitionology, and he has has dedicated a lot of his life to unpacking and harnessing the benefits of our natural intuition. Listen in as he shares some incredible insight on how to recognize your intuition and the importance of learning to trust it. You will hear great tips on how to use this powerful tool when navigating frustrating, stressful, and complicated situations.
5:54 – 9:17 - An anonymous letter from a sister.
9:18 – 14:39 - Sunil’s background in intuition and why he decided to pursue the path he’s on.
14:40 – 17:13 - The science behind intuition and when it starts.
17:14 – 20:06 – How intuition works for people.
20:07 – 23:10 - Applying intuition to the challenges of a blended family.
23:11 – 31:09 – The four types of intuition.
31:10 – 41:31 – How to be more in-tune with your intuition.
41:32 – 57:42 – How to pay attention to intuition over the noise of everyday life.
Takeaways:
- How to stop ignoring and discrediting your own intuition.
- The commonalities of successful people when it comes to intuition.
- How science explains the reality of intuition.
- Ways to recognize your intuition so you know what to pay attention to and what to ignore.
Quotes:
“I really needed to figure out this thing called intuition because now I’d lost time, money, effort, and now a good friend.” - Sunil Godse
“Intuition is all in the primitive area [of your brain], so all it knows is fight or flight. There’s no language associated with it. So no wonder I couldn’t find a definition. We all define it in our own way—we just have this feeling.” - Sunil Godse
“What intuition does really well is to make sure that people come back to their values of what they are and give you the signals to make sure those values are strong.” - Sunil Godse
3 Interesting Clips:
9:47 - 10:26 - What happens when you ignore intuition.
14:50 - 15:19 - Why intuition exists, according to neuroscience.
20:53 - 21:36 – The importance of trusting your intuition.
Links:
- Sunil Godse: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter
- Fail Fast, Succeed Faster by Sunil Godse
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Today’s topic is super real and important, as we’ve seen a lot of people struggle with this during and after divorce. Parental alienation is something that today's guest, Susan Shofer, specializes in. Susan is a certified divorce coach who will be giving us insight on the extreme vs. mild cases of this problematic situation, the damage it has on children, how to handle it, and much more.
Listen in as Susan shares key insights from the many cases she has dealt with over the years and sheds light on how to cope with situations like this in a productive and healing way. You will hear about some of the lesser-known effects and trauma that occur as a result of parental alienation, as well as how to properly identify it and deal with it. If you or someone you love is dealing with (or even causing) parental alienation issues, this is a very important episode to listen to and share.
6:26 – 8:23 - A letter about parental alienation.
8:24 – 16:29 - Susan’s journey with divorce and how she helps people with parental alienation and more.
16:30 – 19:49 - How alienation starts and what to do to head it off or make sure it doesn’t get worse.
19:50 – 30:00 – Understanding when alienation is actually happening and when it’s not.
30:01 – 42:52 - Why parents cause alienation, the rationalization they use, and how the child is an actor in their play.
42:53 – 56:05 – Whether parent alienators ever stop alienating and how children see it when they get older.
56:06 – 1:03:20 - What to do if you are the parent being alienated.
Takeaways:
- The importance of having an attorney who understands parental alienation.
- What an alienated parent can do to make the situation better.
- The mental illness and narrative behind alienation.
- How children realize what happened and the common outcomes of alienation.
Quotes:
“When you’re dealing with alienation, just about everything that we do that seems reasonable—is not.” - Susan Shofer
“It is not about the he said, she said—and most judges see it that way. It’s worse after the divorce. Once the watchful eye of the attorneys, parent coordinators, mediators, and judges are no longer in view, the alienator has a grand old time and it’s hard to fight it.” - Susan Shofer
“The alienator breaks down the trust and they create fear, and that’s what keeps the children from wanting to see the other parent.” - Susan Shofer
3 Interesting Clips:
13:31 - 14:13 - The unreasonable instincts that occur when dealing with parental alienation.
15:38 - 16:20 - The importance of writing the divorce decree with parental alienation in mind.
32:00 - 33:51 – The signs of truly abused children and how they protect the abuser.
Links:
- Susan Shofer: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Instagram | Pinterest
- Parental Alienation – Susan Shofer TEDx Talk
- Parental Alienation Study Group
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Going through the teenage stage with your children is a stressful time for everyone, but what if your teen was also a famous TikToker? Today’s guest is Kyle Kaplanis, a step-dad to four and father to a social media star. In this episode, he shares his amazing insight into using social media within the family and how to approach the needed open conversations around sex, alcohol, and everything else.
Listen in as Kyle shares his experience joining a family of four children without having any children of his own and the dynamic with his partner and her ex-spouse. You will learn why it is important to make your children feel safe and supported, the responsibility that comes with being a celebrity/influencer, and how to respond to “haters.”
2:25 - 5:05 - What Kyle’s family dynamic is like.
5:05 - 7:37 - What it was like joining a family of four children.
7:37 - 10:00 - Why Kyle let the kids come to him instead of trying to force the relationship.
10:00 - 20:20 - How Kyle and his family supported his step-daughter when she started gaining traction on TikTok.
20:20 - 27:40 - The importance of allowing for open conversations around tough subjects with your kids.
27:40 - 43:03 - The negative effects of being an influencer.
Takeaways:
- How Kyle entered into a family without any drama involved.
- Why he supported his step-daughter in her social media endeavors.
- How to approach the conversation of social media with your children.
- The importance of making your children feel like they can talk to you about anything.
- The responsibility that comes with being an influencer.
Quotes:
“I went into my relationship with the kids not trying to replace anybody.” - Kyle Kaplanis
“We have to remember that these kids grew up in the era of technology, so to tell them they can’t [join social media] is like saying they can’t play at the park with their friends.” - Kyle Kaplanis
“You have to remember for those who are looking for fame, it comes with a ton of responsibility.” - Kyle Kaplanis
3 Interesting Clips:
8:00 - 9:35 - Why Kyle found it so easy to join another family—without any drama.
13:19 - 14:05 - How getting involved together on social media brought Kyle’s family closer together.
20:20 - 22:00 - The importance of having open conversations with your children.
Links:
- Kyle Kaplanis: Instagram | LinkedIn |TikTok
- JaydeCanDance
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Are you recently divorced or separated and wondering what life is going to look like in the dating arena now that you’re no longer married or with the person you were with? If you have questions about returning to dating—whether it's after divorce, with kids, in a pandemic, or after a pandemic—this episode is for you. My guest today is Coach T. Anthony, and he helps people with online dating, including how to set up a profile, what to say, who to look for, and much more.
Getting back into the game, or learning how to date again after being out of that world for so long, is something a lot of people struggle with. So Coach T. will share some really helpful advice that will allow you to successfully date online and get rid of a lot of the fear, dread, or uncertainty around learning to date again in such an online world.
3:54 – 6:32 - How Coach T. got into the online dating world.
6:33 – 11:02 - Where to start when jumping into online dating.
11:03 – 12:45 - How to maneuver in the dating world during a pandemic.
12:46 – 21:09 - Red flags and how to not waste your time when online dating.
21:10 – 30:39 - What to put (or not put) on your dating profile.
30:40 – 44:35 - Mindset shifts, tips, and “rules” when moving back into dating.
Takeaways:
- The issues that come up when going back to online dating after not dating for years.
- How the pandemic has affected people in dating and what Coach T. has helped them with.
- Advice on how to not waste your time while online dating.
- Important mindset moves that you need to make.
- The dos and don’ts of dating profile setup.
Quotes:
“They don’t want to go through the frustrations and the horror stories that they’ve heard about online dating—and that’s where I come in.” – Coach T. Anthony
“Once you get on two or three different apps, then you get too overwhelmed and just stop doing it altogether. I would suggest sticking with just one app for now.” – Coach T. Anthony
“I help men and women maneuver through the jungle of online dating.” – Coach T. Anthony
3 Interesting Clips:
17:17- 8:03 - Not wanting to make the first move.
9:03 – 9:36 - Avoid app overwhelm and keep it simple.
16:01 – 17:58 - “Should I put single or divorced on my profile?”
Links:
- Coach T. Anthony: Website | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
- Bumble
- Hinge
- Match.com
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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As a blended family ourselves, we understand the ups and downs that come with co-parenting and divorce. We have experienced and learned from our own mistakes, taking every day as it comes and facing every challenge head-on. So today, I will be addressing high-conflict parenting and how to push your ego aside to ensure the safety and happiness of your children.
Listen in as I discuss why you are not alone in experiencing high-conflict parenting and why it’s not the divorce itself, but the way you handle the divorce that can make the biggest difference. You will learn the importance of making your children the focus, why we must acknowledge that everyone shows their love in different ways, and why you must keep your opinions to yourself. If you are a divorced co-parent, this is the episode for you.
1:30 - 4:45 - The everyday challenges of co-parenting.
4:45 - 11:45 - Why the way you are handling the divorce is the real issue.
11:45 - 21:15 - Why you must keep your opinions and your judgments to yourself.
21:15 - 30:55 - How to avoid drama in co-parenting.
30:55 - 40:00 - Why it’s never too late to make changes.
Takeaways:
- How to remove your ego from situations.
- The importance of making your children the focus, not the other parent.
- The ups and downs of co-parenting.
- How to address high-conflict parenting.
- Why we should never bring our children into our co-parenting fights.
Quotes:
“It’s really hard to put your ego aside and maintain the priority of the children.” – Summer
“It’s the conflict that you have as co-parents and the way that you show it in front of the kids—that’s the damaging part.” – Summer
“It’s not the divorce that’s the issue, it’s the way that you’re handling your divorce.” – Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
2:45 - 4:45 - Why you are not alone if you are experiencing high-conflict parenting.
6:30 - 11:18 - Why it isn’t the divorce that’s the issue—it’s the way that you’re handling the divorce.
28:30 - 30:55 - How to allow your children to have a relationship with the other parent without stepping in.
Links:
- Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Together by
Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond - Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Today I’m excited to welcome Melissa Wilson onto the show to talk about bonding with bonus kids and how to navigate bringing an “us” baby into the family. A certified fitness trainer who is passionate about health and nutrition, Melissa is also a step-parent with a lot of insight on creating a strong and transparent relationship with a stepchild.
Listen in as we discuss how to handle having different rules in different homes, as well as what to do when you are bringing a new child into the mix. Melissa has some really great wisdom to share when it comes to open and honest communication with children that I think will be super helpful for those times you may feel alone, frustrated, or guilty about feelings you have toward stepchildren and your “us” baby.
5:03 – 9:34 – The story of Melissa’s blended family and what it’s like to meet an older step-child.
9:35 – 12:52 – How she and her wife started their relationship with boundaries and setting roles.
12:53 – 14:20 – The co-parenting situation and what they make a priority.
14:21 – 24:26 – The process of bringing a new child into the picture together and how that affected the family dynamic.
26:19 – 44:39 – How Melissa's relationship with her wife has been stretched and grown since blending families.
44:40 – 49:37 – Her coaching work and what projects she’s working on.
Takeaways:
- How to navigate finding your role as a new step-parent.
- The importance of open dialogue between the step-parent and stepchild.
- The different feelings with an “us” child and dealing with guilty feelings as a step-parent.
- How to prepare for not knowing everything that comes with blending families.
- Why it's crucial to continue learning throughout the process.
- The value of having hard rules in your relationship.
Quotes:
“The big piece of what we intentionally did was that I opened up a really open dialogue and communication with my step-son from the get-go. We do talk about the things that are working or not working.” – Melissa Wilson
“It’s just about having the same shared goal. We work different—we have two very different households with four very different parents, but at the end of the day, we all share the same dream of having a blended family that works for Jaden.” – Melissa Wilson
“There are complicated feelings that come with a blended family because there are so many different types of relationships that are involved and different types of love that are happening.” – Summer
3 Interesting Clips:
7:30 – 8:00 – The hardest part of Melissa's relationship with her older step-child.
11:56 – 12:51 - Creating an open dialogue between step-parent and stepchild from the start.
22:49 – 24:26 - The importance of resolving the big feelings and building a positive relationship.
Links:
- Melissa Wilson: Instagram | Podcast | Website
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Today’s podcast is pretty serious because we're talking about something that is really important. We will be going through all the things your kids need to know before they turn 18. This is the perfect time to reflect on what you have (or have not) been teaching your kids and make a plan to prepare them for the world.
There are 18 specific things that will be highlighted as necessary for a kid to know in order to be prepared for the real world. Listen in as we go over them and discuss how you can help teach these concepts—even if you don’t feel very knowledgeable in some of these areas. If you’re hoping to give your children the best chance of thriving in their adult lives, this episode is for you!
2:55 – 6:10 – An anonymous letter to no one in particular.
6:11 – 11:11 – The importance of evaluating what kids need in order to be prepared for the real world and how that applies to step-parents.
11:12 – 18:20 – Communication, responsibility, and problem-solving skills.
18:21 – 26:48 – Household skills, time management, and money management.
26:49 – 29:31 – Transportations skills, car maintenance, paying bills, and scheduling appointments.
29:30 – 36:33 – Job-related skills, cleaning skills, and emergency situational skills.
Takeaways:
- The critical value of social and communication skills in the real world.
- Why taking responsibility is important in order to develop other skills.
- How money management and bills can make or break your child’s success.
- Valuable home skills and emergency knowledge could save lives.
- How taking the time to steadily teach a variety of skills will allow your child to get valuable experience and soak in important knowledge well before turning 18.
Quotes:
“Do you feel confident that your child, when they graduate high school, will be ready for the real world?” – Summer
“It’s important, as an adult, to not just spiral out of control. A really good skill to have as an adult is to argue effectively.” – Summer
“Take responsibility for things you do, and apologize when you’re wrong.” – Mike
3 Interesting Clips:
8:55 – 9:50 – The common issue when kids leave the nest unprepared.
12:20– 13:05 - The downfall of poor social skills.
30:31 – 31:21 - Why it’s so important to have cleaning skills.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Susan Guthrie is one of the top family law and mediation attorneys in the country. That's why I'm so excited to have her on the show today to discuss how you can avoid spending tons of money going to court as a divorced couple and do the right thing for your kids. For over 30 years, Susan has helped families and individuals navigate divorce, separation, co-parenting, and everything that comes along with divorce involving children.
Listen in to hear some of the incredible insight that she has gained over her years working with people going through divorce. You'll get really important tips and advice on going through this process in a way that is not only less expensive, but also less divisive and costly (in an emotional sense) for your children.
5:18 – 9:20 – An anonymous letter to a Facebook friend.
9:21 14:13 – Introducing Susan and how she got into her line of work.
14:14 – 18:06 – The biggest problems that come up in the early phase of a divorce.
18:07 – 23:27– The importance of what you model to your children.
23:28 – 31:09 - Dealing with a high-conflict ex.
31:10 – 57:50 - How to avoid court through mediation and have a better life post-divorce.
Takeaways:
- Why the choices you make at the beginning of a divorce are so important.
- How to manage a high-conflict ex.
- Why having a respectful divorce is so important for your children.
- The dangers of trying to hide divorce conflict from children.
- How to stay out of court and include your ex in that decision.
Quotes:
“I found that the adversarial and litigation approach didn’t work for me. My personal life very much colored my professional life, and I never looked back. I switched over to a mediation approach to divorce, and now I train other mediators.” – Susan Guthrie
“It is not the divorce itself that causes difficulty for children. It is the level of conflict between their parents.” – Susan Guthrie
“It is harder once you're caught up in the litigation cycle to move out of it, but you always can. You always can choose to go to mediation or go to a different process to try to work things through.” – Susan Guthrie
3 Interesting Clips:
14:53 – 16:36 – The importance of the way you start your divorce.
17:17 – 17:50 - What really causes difficulty for your children in a divorce.
20:25 – 21:10 - Why you need to be aware of what you’re modeling to your children.
Links:
- Susan Guthrie: Website | Facebook |Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube
- Divorce and Beyond Podcast
- Split film
- Our Happy Divorce
- Everything Always Episode 69: How to Have a Happy Divorce with Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
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Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Victim mentality is a trap that is really hard to get yourself out of. This past year has—understandably—been part of the reason why many of us have fallen into this toxic way of thinking. So in this episode, we’ll be discussing what it might look like to be in that mentality and how to get out of it.
If you’re going through something difficult or dealing with someone difficult, it can be way too easy to fall into a victim mentality. You’ll hear about the sabotage, the root cause, and more that play a part in this way of thinking. Listen in to learn how you might get caught in this and the mindset you need in order to recognize where you are and pull yourself out.
3:05 – 5:21 – Why it’s so important to address victim mentality this year.
5:22 - 10:47 – An open letter to all bio moms who keep their kids from their fathers.
10:48 – 13:19 – What it looks like to have a victim mentality.
13:20 – 16:25– Why we get stuck in negativity and who is really in control.
16:26 – 28:30 - What happens when you fall into victim mentality and what you’re really seeking.
28:31 – 35:15 - How to move forward from your difficulties.
Takeaways:
- Key signs that you fall into victim mentality.
- You are in control of yourself and nobody else.
- The importance of playing the long game.
- Why we fall into victim mentality.
- The mindset you need to be in so you can beat victim mentality.
Quotes:
“Sometimes, in order to get out of the thing you’re in that feels so negative, you don’t get to snap your fingers and be like, 'I’m out of here!' You have to play the long game sometimes.” – Mike
“A big thing about victim mentality is that when you complain about something with a friend or somebody and they give you advice, but you always have an excuse.” – Summer
“Negative strength is the least efficient fuel you can run on, but a lot of people get by and move forward on negativity.” – Mike
3 Interesting Clips:
12:30 – 13:42 - A key warning sign of victim mentality.
14:50 – 15:35 - How to get out of a bad situation and move forward.
17:22 – 18:47 - How victim mentality sabotages you.
Links:
- Text us: 760-389-3722
- Ep #51: All About The Addiction To Drama
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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Is this the year that you plan to implement boundaries and gain respect with your step children? We hear a lot of issues come up when it comes to disrespect from step kids, and as we break into a new year, it’s time to address them. You will hear about key ways that others have successfully dealt with disrespect and learn how to turn the tides toward a peaceful and respectful home.
In this episode, I will be drawing from strategies that have been used by step-parents to handle situations that have gone downhill and how they have fostered respect. You will learn the signs that it’s time to disengage from your step child or step children, the best ways to disengage, and the outcomes that are most important in order for you, your relationship, and the step child to get back to a good place.
3:43 – 4:37 - An anonymous letter.
5:33 – 7:40 - The change that often happens in step relationships.
7:41 – 10:46 – Second-guessing the whole situation and where to go from there.
10:47 – 14:10 – The process of disengagement and how to implement it.
14:11 – 24:00 – Situations that show it’s time to disengage.
24:01 – 36:04– What disengagement really means.
36:05 – 40:47 – The results of disengaging.
Takeaways:
- The small but significant things that can change your relationship with a step child overnight.
- What to do when you realize things have changed for the worse.
- How to disengage and why it’s an important thing to do.
- What other step parents have done to successfully change the dynamic.
- How to set the right intention in order for disengaging to be successful.
Quotes:
“It’s okay if you don’t love your step children as your own.” – Summer Mulder
“It can’t be just you enforcing the rules, and it will not help the relationship with your step child if you’re the only one nagging about things.” – Summer Mulder
“The only person you can control is yourself, so you have to do the things that are going to make you feel better and be at your best.” – Summer Mulder
3 Interesting Clips:
11:29 – 11:54 – The importance of giving a new relationship time to learn and grow feelings.
13:30 – 14:01 - The danger of thinking you have to love a step child as your own.
17:31 – 18:22 – The right intention to set when disengaging.
Links:
- Send us an anonymous letter
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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My guest today has an incredible and inspiring story that I think will be such a blessing for you to hear and learn from. Wendy Sterling came from a successful career in the corporate world and had her world rocked by a rocky divorce, and she joins the show today to share her story about ditching her “poor me” attitude and ultimately deciding to help both women and men get through divorce.
If you are going through a divorce and feel lonely or lost going through the process, Wendy has so much encouragement and support to offer. Listen in to hear her story and the insight she gained while going through the process herself. Even if you went through divorce years ago and are still feeling the trauma or difficulties relating to it, this episode is for you.
3:41 – 7:05 - An anonymous letter.
8:19 – 12:30 - How Wendy created her business and why it’s so important.
12:31 – 13:34 – The "I do, I did, I’m done" program and how it works.
16:13 – 19:18 – Going from quick fix to long-term transformation and recovery.
19:19 – 21:44 – What is keeping you stuck and what you need to do first.
21:45 – 36:01 – The role of mindfulness in your recovery.
36:02 – 43:37 – The goal at the end of your recovery and what it actually means to be recovered.
44:38 – 00:44 – Wendy’s best advice for those who are thinking about divorce.
Takeaways:
- The empowering side of the divorce process.
- Why it’s important to change the conversation around divorce.
- The key thing that got Wendy through her divorce recovery.
- Turning to the right sources for help.
- How to know if you’ve gotten over your divorce or not.
- The importance of mindfulness and pouring into yourself.
- What to think about when considering divorce.
Quotes:
“It’s really about just rooting yourself in the present moment. You don’t have to react right away.” – Wendy Sterling
“I love sharing my story because one of the things us divorcees don’t do enough is being authentic and vulnerable. I find that by sharing my story, it lets others know they are not alone in this experience.” – Wendy Sterling
“I’ve realized that my divorce happened FOR me, not TO me. I have a lot of pride in helping other people to get through this experience because nobody should do it alone.” – Wendy Sterling
3 Interesting Clips:
12:55 – 13:34 – What REHAB stands for in the context of divorce recovery.
13:35 – 14:20 - How the conversation around divorce needs to change.
20:25 – 21:30 – The importance of talking to the right people about your divorce.
Links:
- Wendy Sterling: Website | Wendy’s Facebook | Instagram | Podcast | Facebook
- Free 15-minute call with Wendy
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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We are all set to make 2021 our best year yet! We were able to squeeze time in our schedule to sit down together and do something that will set us up for success in the next year: vivid visioning.
Wondering what that is? Listen in to find out! You'll also learn what our process looks like, what we expect to get out of it, and our tips for making it fun and creative for yourself so you can keep the momentum going well past the new year.
1:15 – 3:59 - What we’re doing to prepare for 2021.
4:00 – 7:24 - What our process of visioning looks like.
7:25 – 12:09 - Why it’s important to share goals with our partners.
12:10 – 14:00 - Why it’s also important to celebrate your wins.
Takeaways:
- Allow yourself to dream.
- Get clear on what you want.
- Share your goals with your partner.
- Break your goals down and take action.
- Do regular check-ins.
Quotes:
“What you can conceive, you can achieve.”
“Allow yourself to dream about the excellence that you can make a reality.”
“If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you going to get there?”
3 Interesting Clips:
2:33 – 2:45 - Goals without a plan are just a wish.
4:40 – 5:20 - What a “vivid vision” is.
12:10 – 12:40 - Why it’s important to acknowledge your accomplishments.
Links:
- The Temecula Creek Inn
- Vivid Vision: A Remarkable Tool for Aligning Your Business Around a Shared Vision of the Future by Cameron Herold
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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We all have super hard times, but there is one thing that has really helped me to get through my own hard times, and it’s something that we’ve talked about a lot on this podcast. In this episode, I’m going deeper on this concept that has literally changed my life and has helped me feel like I had control in situations where I felt like I had none. The tool I’m talking about? The gift of not reacting.
This is such a simple superpower that has the potential to give each of us a different mindset and framework to work with so that we can regain control of our lives. Listen in as I get really vulnerable about my own journey through divorce and how this concept changed my whole perspective. Not only did it give me control back, but it also empowered me and opened me up to so much more learning.
1:40 - 6:14 - My personal hard times.
6:15 - 8:49 - Why battles often resurface.
8:50 - 18:04 - How I started to get my power back.
18:05 - 22:24 - The simple concept that changed my life.
22:25 - 30:14 - The shift that happens when you apply this tool in your own life.
30:15 - 31:20 - Other parts of your life where you could apply this concept.
Takeaways:
- You have the power.
- Take a deep breath before responding.
- Don’t get caught up in proving a point.
- You control how you respond.
- Don’t engage—unless you want to.
Quotes:
“Divorce came, heartbreak came, and suddenly I had all of these emotions stirred up that anything could make me cry.”
“The holidays bring out a lot of extra stress for some people.”
“You are determining your mood for the day based on what someone else thinks and what their mood is.”
“I would consciously take a deep breath and acknowledge the feelings that I was having.”
“You have control over yourself, not someone else.”
3 Interesting Clips:
1:40 - 5:30 - How easy it can be to feel terrorized by things outside of your control.
9:40 - 11:05 - Why divorce attorneys are so much more than just attorneys.
22:25 -23:30 - What happens when you’re in your ego state versus your receiving state.
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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In this episode, we will be addressing the challenging position of being a step-parent to a teen who is disrespectful and determined to run you out of their parent’s life. This is something we hear a lot about, so we will do our best to shed light on what’s going on and how you can handle this situation in a positive and productive way.
You will also hear an anonymous letter that was written by a mom to her daughter’s new stepmom. It shares such a raw side of the difficult relationships that occur through blending families and the importance of always striving to make the best of it. From being a parent dealing with a difficult step-child to being a parent struggling with the new relationships your child is a part of, we hope that today’s chat will bring some ideas and clarity that will upgrade your blended life.
2:26 – 5:29 - An anonymous letter from a mom to her daughter’s stepmom.
5:30 – 7:08 - The importance of writing an apology—even if it isn’t sent.
7:09 – 12:10 - Unpacking the step-parent and step-teen relationship.
12:11 – 15:40 - The role of setting and managing expectations from the start.
15:41 – 20:33 - Evaluating your relationship importance and managing roles.
20:34 – 26:17 - The difference between taking sides and incorporating discipline.
Takeaways:
- Taking the right steps toward an apology.
- Identifying where pain and ego are making you into something you’re not.
- Dealing with an intentionally disrespectful and confrontational step-child.
- Why your expectations are a huge part of your reality and how to find perspective.
- The importance of knowing that this could possibly never change and how that would play out for your relationship.
Quotes:
“I never wanted the divorce, but I’ve learned to take responsibility for why it happened.”
“The real strange truth is that my anger and hurt don’t stem from me not liking you. I don’t actually have a good reason not to like you—except for the fact that he loves you and not me.”
“It’s not your job to insert yourself into someone’s life and make it mandatory that you’re going to connect. Their feelings are real and you have to understand that.”
3 Interesting Clips:
2:59 – 3:15 – The value of thinking (or sleeping) before responding to things or speaking on things.
9:28 – 10:14 - Why issues with step-parents and step-children are at a higher level now.
14:05 – 14:21 – Expectations when it comes to connection and what your job IS NOT.
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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We know how hard it is to be in a blended family, and then you add in the craziness of the holidays and it takes the challenges to a whole ‘nother level. This episode is for all of you who are in the beginning stages of your blended families because it’s exactly the stuff that I needed to hear when we first blended our family—and sometimes I still need the reminder!
Listen in as I share my tips to not only survive, but thrive during the holidays and really enjoy the moments with your family, in whatever shape that takes. You'll learn how to let go of expectations, avoid drama, and redefine what your perfect holiday consists of so that this holiday will be one to remember for all the right reasons.
2:15 – 5:10 - Why the holidays can be especially tough for blended families.
5:11 – 7:07 - How to let go of expectations and shrug off judgment from others.
7:08 – 9:21 - How to manage different schedules during the holidays.
9:22 – 11:17 - How to overcome—or avoid completely—holiday drama.
12:15 – 17:45 - Why it’s important to let your blended family just be what it is and go with the flow.
17:46 – 20:34 - Why sometimes arguments are actually necessary.
20:35 – 21:39 - Everything happens for an opportunity.
21:40 – 27:03 - Tips to manage through the holidays.
27:04 – 28:29 - Don’t forget to make alone time for yourself too!
28:30 – 31:00 - Final thoughts on getting through the holidays.
Takeaways:
- Embrace the chaos.
- Let go of expectations.
- Look for opportunities in the madness.
- Redefine what perfect is.
- Don’t put guilt on yourself.
Quotes:
“Take the pressure off of what you think you’re supposed to look like and enjoy what you have.”
“It’s all about perspective, and you get to choose that for yourself.”
“Let your blended family be exactly what it is.”
“Redefine what amazing is.”
3 Interesting Clips:
10:30 – 11:17 - Finding calm amidst the craziness.
13:43 – 14:50 - How to accept the ebb and flow of life and family.
28:45 – 31:00 - Don’t let yourself feel guilty, embrace the small moments, and cultivate a connection with those who matter most.
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
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If you’re feeling totally helpless about your relationship with your ex, or are looking for inspiration and information on how to have a better relationship with them, this episode is for you. Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond join the show today for an incredible episode all about creating a happy and successful relationship post-divorce. They are happily divorced and have a ton of insight on how to navigate the tough emotion and business of it all.
Listen in to hear from two people who have been through a lot,but were still mature enough to come together and do what was best for their son. You'll learn how Ben and Nikki collaborated, as well as the various trials and triumphs that occurred while they worked on their own unique approach to divorce. Whether you are just entering into divorce and still separated, or if you’re years into it with a relationship full of drama, you will get so much out of this interview.
3:42 – 9:03 - Introducing Ben and Nikki and their unique approach to divorce.
9:30 – 18:13 - The difficulty of dealing with ego and truly putting the child first.
20:12 – 25:26 - The effect of divorce on children and dealing with the loss of control.
25:38 – 36:24 - How to deal with new partners coming into the picture.
37:25 – 43:30 - The best way to begin working on your relationship.
Takeaways:
- A new approach to divorce.
- Learning to put aside your ego in favor of your child’s best interests.
- Why your divorce is way more than just the two of you.
- How to build a good relationship even when new partners enter the picture.
- Why you shouldn’t text.
Quotes:
- “Because we dealt with the emotional side of divorce first, it made it that much easier to deal with the business side of it.”
- “When there is conflict, there are ways to not feed into the conflict and there are ways to control yourself and your emotions and your perspective—even when you can’t control the situation.”
- “We had to keep our son front and center. It wasn’t about us, so we had to take all of our garbage and keep it aside because, in the long run, the only thing that’s important is making sure he is happy and he is safe.”
3 Interesting Clips:
- 9:40 – 10:22 - The power of ego and how it hurts us and everyone around us.
- 26:28 – 26:52 - The importance of making amends and building a good foundation.
- 38:27 – 39:34 - The reality of a happy divorce and what got Nikki and Ben to that place.
Links:
- Nikki and Ben: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
- Our Happy Divorce by Nikki Debartolo and Benjamin Heldfond
- Connect with us: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
- Everything Always Podcast Website
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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Coming to you from Park City Utah, we’ve decided to unleash a number of issues on you. This episode, you’ll hear us ranting about the meanness we see all over social media, disrespected step-parents, entitlement and much more. We’ll also be sharing a new feature of our website where YOU can get your ranting out anonymously.
If you find yourself getting frustrated with social media these days or the disrespect felt in your parenting situations, this episode is for you. We will not only be sharing our rants but also sharing some insight and possible solutions that can make things so much easier for you and the people you interact with and have relationships with.
4:19 – 5:34 - Why we’re ranting in this episode.
5:35 – 7:25 - A safe place where you can rant and get things off your chest.
7:26 – 12:46 - The meanness we’re seeing on social media and what to do when you get fired up.
12:47 – 16:05 - How to deal with feeling disrespected as a step-parent.
16:06 – 23:42 - The entitled mentalities people have and expectations that ruin things.
23:42 – 33:38 - The problem with black cars, perpetually messy kitchens and other fun rants you’ll most likely relate to.
Takeaways:
- A place where you can write and rant anonymously – and the benefits of that.
- How to know when to engage (or disengage) from certain people or conversations.
- Why entitlement steals away appreciation and joy.
- How disagreement does NOT warrant insults or rudeness.
- Breaking away from the negative things that pull you down.
Quotes:
- “You have the ability to mute someone or just see less of their content.”
- “When you earn something you appreciate it so much more. Things that come easy that you didn’t struggle for, that you didn’t earn – you don’t appreciate. You’re literally stealing the joy of this thing.”
- “When you’re in a disagreement—when is it ever the right thing to do to insult somebody or cut them down? Why is that ever the right way to handle it?”
3 Interesting Clips:
- 7:50 – 8:25 – Protect yourself and your brain from too much of the wrong stuff.
- 11:45 - 12:42 - The irony in how the phrase “with all due respect..” is used.
- 18:42 - 19:24 - Why your ego and expectations are ruining things.
Links:
- Connect with us: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
- Everything Always Podcast Website
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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In this episode, we talk with Garret and Chelsea Zimmerman of Transformed Couples. As certified relationship coaches, Garret and Chelsea serve blended families and couples who are going through the blending process. Today, they will be sharing their years of expertise and experience working with all kinds of couples and blended families so you can learn how to transform from blended to blessed.
Listen in as we talk about the stigma that blended families face and how to not feel like a failure when something doesn’t work out the first time. You will hear some great advice on financial challenges, high conflict co-parenting, different discipline needs, and much more. And be sure to listen to the end, as well, because they have a ton of free stuff for you guys.
4:06 – 7:50 - Chelsea and Garret’s background and how they started their journey as a couple.
8:43 – 11:08 - Embracing your normal as a blended family.
11:32 – 26:42 - Typical challenges blended families face and how they have found solutions.
28:11 – 36:54 - How to bring your relationship together and get on the same team.
37:03 – 44:04 - Disciplining effectively while understanding unique situations.
44:21 – 50:38 - The free clarity call and couples coaching options Chelsea and Garret provide
Takeaways:
- How to remove the stigma that blended couples have.
- Dealing with high conflict co-parenting situations.
- What to do when you hit financial challenges.
- Looking at and understanding your money story.
- Disciplining children in different ways according to how they learn best.
Quotes:
“If you’re in disagreement with your spouse, you’re fighting for them to lose and you to win—and that’s not healthy.” – Garret Zimmerman
“Had it not been for failure, I wouldn’t be able to grow and move forward in this current blended family dynamic.” – Garret Zimmerman
“You have to acknowledge that the only thing you can control is what happens under your roof.” – Chelsea Zimmerman
3 Interesting Clips:
- 9:54 - 11:08 – How failure allows us to grow into the people we are today.
- 16:52 – 17:36 - How to deal with different co-parenting dynamics on each side.
- 38:31 – 40:32 - Examples of why different discipline methods may be appropriate.
Links:
- Chelsea & Garret: Instagram | Facebook
- TransformedCouples.com
- Connect with us: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
- Everything Always Podcast Website
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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If you’ve ever dealt with estrangement, you know how painful—or even shameful—it can feel. In this episode, we will be talking to Tina Gilbertson, author of the book, Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child. She has a lot of incredible insight and support to share when it comes to dealing with an estranged relationship in a positive and productive way.
Listen in as Tina offers support, understanding, and tools to help repair a relationship that has been cut off, distanced, or rejected. You will learn some really helpful ideas for reconnecting with estranged children and finding the necessary support to heal yourself and your relationship with an estranged child. If this is something you or someone you know is suffering from, we sincerely hope this episode will help bring you closer to peace and solutions that mend fences and lives.
0:54 – 8:25 - Who Tina Gilbertson is and how she helps parents navigate estranged relationships.
8:26 – 10:21 - Reasons that children reject and distance themselves from their parents.
10:22 – 22:50 - What parents can do when they have been alienated from their child.
22:51 – 27:40 - What to do when you’re the parent left in the picture or a step-parent in an estranged situation.
27:41 – 32:32 - Strategies and options to repair the estranged relationship.
32:33 - 42:16 – Success stories, reconnections, and what happens after estrangement.
Takeaways:
- Why parents have more power.
- The role parents play in alienation.
- What to do in an alienation situation and when to actually reach out.
- How to support your child during an alienation situation.
- How to make relationship repairs on your own.
- The options you have to repair the relationship
Quotes:
“It’s random who ends up with estrangement and who doesn’t. I don’t think you can draw a line between terrible parenting and estrangement.” - Tina Gilbertson
"Keep in mind, especially with people around the age of leaving home, there comes a time when they just need a little space, so it’s important not to panic. Give them space and trust that they will come back when they’re ready.” - Tina Gilbertson
"An apology is much more easily digested by the child than, 'Let’s sit down and fix this.'" - Tina Gilbertson
3 Interesting Clips:
- 10:20 – 11:10 - Why divorce isn’t always the reason for estrangement.
- 13:21 – 14:46 - The difference between alienating behavior and actual successful alienation.
- 16:05 – 16:47 - How to approach a child and the power of an apology.
Links:
- Tina Gilbertson: Website
- Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child by Tina Gilbertson
- The Reconnection Club Podcast
- Connect with us: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
- Everything Always Podcast Website
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
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We can all agree that we want the best for our children. However, when you are a co-parent, it can be hard not to feel competitive with your ex-spouse as to who is doing the better job. So today I want to discuss how to avoid conflict with your ex-partner to ensure you are not putting your children’s mental health on the line, and instead keeping your home a safe and happy place for them.
Listen in as I explain the different types of competition between co-parents, describing some that you may even be unaware of. You will learn the importance of remembering that your child’s opinion will form naturally of their other parent and it does not need to be influenced by your negative thoughts toward your ex-partner. Your children deserve to have both of their parents, and it is possible to make that work, so don't miss this episode!
1:54 - 6:24 - How to avoid co-parenting conflict.
6:24 - 11:45 - Common types of competition that are seen.
11:45 - 16:16 - Why it is actually up to the child to form an opinion of their parents.
16:16 - 25:25 - What if we didn’t have to label one thing as good or bad?
25:25 - 33:22 - How to create a healthy and loving environment for your child.
Takeaways:
- Common types of competition between co-parents.
- Why “buying” your children’s love is not healthy.
- It’s not up to us to decide a child's opinion of their other parent.
- There are different ways of parenting.
- Don’t taint something because it is not your ideal.
Quotes:
- “The thing that really breaks my heart is seeing a child that is suffering emotionally.”
- “Children already want to please both parents. That’s a natural thing to get that love and pride from their parents.”
- “Shouldn’t it be up to the child to decide their opinion of their parent as they get older?”
3 Interesting Clips:
- 2:33 - 3:00 - Why competing for the love of your children can be toxic.
- 12:20 - 13:16 - Why it should be up to the child to decide their opinion of their parent
- 18:10 - 20:20 - There is no good or bad—just different.
Links:
- Connect with us: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
- Everything Always Podcast Website
Subscribe & Review in iTunes!
Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always
And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast.
Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you!
Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen!
Apple Podcasts (iTunes)
acast
Pocketcasts
ListenNotes
Spotify
player.fm
If you have been listening for a while, you will remember a few episodes ago when we had listeners send in questions for Summer to ask Mike. Well today, roles have been reversed. Mike is questioning Summer about what her ideal dating situation was when she was fresh on the dating scene, how she felt about dating someone with kids and more.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/64
Most of the time when you hear people talk about bullies, they’re referring to the typical schoolyard bullies, but the truth is that bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. So in this episode, we’re diving into a different kind of bully: the adult bully. Listen in as we talk all about how to know whether you’re dealing with an emotional bully and share some tools you can use to overcome the bullying.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/63
Your marriage is over and the divorce is final, but because you have kids, you still have to deal with your ex-partner. For most people in this situation, this is not always the most comfortable transition to make—especially when introducing a new partner to the family. So in this episode, I want to discuss how you can avoid letting these toxic ex-partners affect your current relationship and life.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/62
Beginning a blended family can feel overwhelming and hard to get the hang of, so today we've got Theresa and Corion Lucas joining us on the show to share their super valuable insight on creating a strong family dynamic. They open up about their story of bringing their family together and offer advice on how to take care of each other—as well as yourself—throughout the difficult and beautiful moments so each family member can adjust and thrive.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/61
If the word “divorce” is anywhere in your life, then this is definitely an episode you’ll want to make sure you tune in to hear! Love and empowerment coach Jennifer Joy Butler joins us today to share how she helps women who are going through a divorce or breakup to really love themselves and create the life that they deserve.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/60
Most kids under the age of 17 really don’t understand money or budgets, but it’s so important to start teaching them about this stuff early. So today I've got Benny Nachman, CEO of Jassby family finance app, on the show to share his expertise in finance, as well as his insight for helping kids understand money. We will be unpacking why parents often don’t talk to their kids about money and how you can help to educate your kids early so that they make wise decisions as they grow up.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/59
How many times have you heard the terms “unprecedented times,” “today’s climate,” “unsettling,” “the new normal,” and so on? There’s a lot of change happening right now and so many hard things going on that are igniting hard conversations with our kids. So today we're diving into how best to approach these important conversations—and other important conversations that will inevitably come up—in a way that they will understand.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/58
As the summer comes to end, it is around that time of year when families are normally getting ready for their children to go back to school. But given everything going on right now with the coronavirus, we are focusing less on the joys of back-to-school shopping and more on where and how our children are going to be educated. So today, we will be discussing distance learning and how to overcome the new challenges we are facing as we progress through this pandemic.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/57
This episode is full of important insight on co-parenting, guilt when dealing with divorce, conflict with your ex, and so much more. Today I am joined by award-winning divorce attorney Renée Bauer, who is committed to helping people find peace and a sense of purpose in their new life after divorce.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/56
We’ve had so much positive feedback on our previous episodes about narcissism that we’ve decided to do another episode on the topic. Except this time, we're flipping the script and talking about how to know you’re NOT a narcissist. If you’ve ever wondered about this, don't miss today's episode.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/55
This episode is a special one because we’re speaking our truth—or rather, Mike is speaking his truth on the questions that have come to us from listeners. You've asked us about dating with kids, dating someone who has kids when you don't, and the struggles with co-parenting after divorce, so Mike is going to tackle all that and more.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/54
In order to protect and thrive in your relationships, you need to set boundaries. This is something we have touched on before, but it's a really key topic that people are asking us to discuss more in-depth, so today we'll be diving deeper into why boundaries are important and how to set them up in your life.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/53
Do you fear being judged or find yourself caring so much about what someone else may think that you change the way you act? Whether you are going through a divorce or separation, have started dating again, or even trying to make decisions about how you are going to raise your kids—people feel the need to insert their opinion on everything. So today, I am going to discuss how to stop caring about what other people think.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/52
Do you ever ask yourself why is there so much dang drama in your blended family? Whether it’s drama from your ex-spouse, or drama about money, dating, feelings, remarrying, custody, child support, conflicting parenting styles—the list can go on and on. So today, I’m addressing all of it.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/51
Brian Mayer is a couples expert who focuses on remarried couples and blended families, and he joins me today to get super candid about the struggles both face. Brian is also a mental health therapist, so he'll be sharing his insight on how our feelings and reactions can either help or hinder our relationships with our exes and our current partners.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/50
We dive into why we chose the parenting style that we did, how we handle consequences with our children, and a few real-life stories from the parenting trenches. Although we’re not experts, we’re sharing the things that have worked particularly well for us as a blended family, and we hope it will work for you as well.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/49
Maneuvering through difficult relationships—whether it's with the kids or your ex-partner—is something many of us in blended families know all too well. It can be hard to know the right way to react when you are feeling ganged up on or taken advantage of. So here to help me dissect these topics and more is certified parenting expert and coach Dr. Sue.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/48
Everyone is different in how they go about parenting, whether their approach is influenced by culture, upbringing, religion, age, or all of the above. So how do we decide how to raise our children, blended family or not? Today I will be discussing parenting styles, specifically the three different styles identified by psychologist Diana Baumrind.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/47
In a perfect world, you and your partner would be on the same page about everything when it comes to raising your children. But what happens if your parenting style clashes with your partner's? Today I want to explain how you can find common ground with your significant other so you can raise your children without confusion or inconsistency.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/46
As most couples know, being in a relationship is not always sunshine and rainbows. There are disagreements and compromises that sometimes do not end in a productive or positive way. So how do you fight fair with your partner to ensure everyone walks away happy and comfortable with the outcome Today we are discussing how to have a healthy fight and the steps you can take now to prevent a negative ending.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/45
Today I’m talking about something that is really common but rarely gets talked about out loud: what to do when you don’t vibe with your step-kids. Listen in as I talk about the struggle of balancing the love you have for your partner with any negative feelings you have for their kids, some of the common reasons why step-parents and step-kids clash, and what you can do about it to keep your home’s harmony - and your sanity - intact.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/44
We’re well into this quarantine now, and we’re doing things a little different in this episode. The kids are home, we’re not worrying about any background noise, we’ve got our coffee and our pajama bottoms on, and there’s no strict topic for today. Instead, we’re checking in and sharing some of the positives that have come out of the pandemic because there has been a lot—despite all of the hard stuff.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/43
Christina McGhee is a trainer, speaker, and divorce-parenting expert with over two decades worth of experience. She is also the author of Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids, a book has helped many parents—including myself—get through divorces while maintaining a healthy relationship with their former spouse. Today Christina joins the show to discuss how you too can create a positive environment for your children while dealing with the struggles and hardships of separation.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/42
Today we're continuing the conversation on parental alienation. Last week, we discussed the signs, the damage this can cause, and the cultural effects of parental alienation, and in this episode, we’ll take it a bit further and talk about the triggers that are involved, possible solutions, the role of children in this, and much more.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/41
Parental alienation is a big topic—so much so that we have split this episode into two parts so we can fit in talking about all of it. In part 1, we discuss the signs of parental alienation and how to recognize the ways and areas where it tends to show up. We will also cover cultural shifts that have taken place and how they have caused an increase in parental alienation.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/40
Today I am speaking with the founder of a pretty widely known online platform: Stepmomming.com. Kristen Skiles is truly the ultimate stepmom, and if you have been following influencers and leaders in this community, then you probably already know who she is. We will discuss the hardships, as well as the beauty in being a stepmother and how to overcome the negativity placed on stepmoms.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://summerfelix.com/39
We have so many incredible episodes coming your way soon, but we decided to push this episode out in front due to the questions we have been getting and the importance of the current situation we’re in. Being about 2 weeks into the California quarantine, there are plenty of issues that have popped up that we want to work through and help others find solutions for in order to make this time more positive for everyone.
Listen in as we answer the questions we've received about COVID-19 and how to handle it. We try to get to as many questions as we can, and as the situation constantly changes, we are addressing them with the information and experience we have available at the time of recording. If you have questions regarding how co-parenting should work during this type of situation and what happens if someone gets sick, be sure to listen in because we have some great advice and tips for you.
1:51 – 3:20 - The goal of this episode and how we will be addressing these topics.
3:20 – 7:50 - How to address the issues of space, staying home, and sickness.
7:50 – 16:05 - Advice from the experts in family law.
16:05 - 23:45 - Reactions and how you can respond better.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: www.summerfelix.com/38
Most of the questions we have been getting are related to high-conflict co-parenting from people who say they're struggling with co-parenting with a narcissist. So in this episode that is what I will be addressing. And though I cannot tell you if you are actually dealing with a narcissist, I can help you with identifying narcissistic traits and dealing with them in a way that will move things forward and keep the peace as much as possible.
Listen in as I share how narcissists are affected by having kids, why what they say to you isn’t about you, and why it’s so important to have support in dealing with the related co-parenting struggles. You will learn strategies, tips, tools, and boundaries that will make the co-parenting process much smoother and more effective.
- 1:20 - 4:05 - Introducing narcissism and what it feels like to co-parent with someone who has narcissistic traits.
- 4:05 – 6:50 - How to work with a narcissist as a good co-parent.
- 6:50 – 9:00 - What a narcissistic parent looks like.
- 9:00 - 11:53 - What a great co-parenting relationship looks like.
- 11:53 - 29:28 - 10 tips to get through co-parenting as peacefully as possible.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://bit.ly/33gsUkX
We hear the word narcissist thrown around a lot–especially in the world of divorce or breakups—and it has come to a point where this word is trendy and used a little too lightly. So today we're going to sit down and talk about what narcissism really is, how to identify it, and the traits that people tend to misjudge as narcissistic.
Listen in as we break down the causes and signs of the disorder, as well as the types of people who are often targeted by narcissists. You'll gain a better understanding of what's really going on with narcissism and whether you or someone you know might actually be a narcissist.
1:00 - 5:54 - What narcissism is.
5:54 - 8:37 - Traits that are associated with narcissism.
8:37 - 23:30 - Identifying things that we naturally search for in life and comparing them to actual narcissistic traits.
23:30 – 33:12 - Traits that narcissists go after.
33:12 - 36:40 - The causes of narcissism and why it happens.
36:40 - 50:01 - A quiz to help you determine whether narcissism is present in you or someone else.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://bit.ly/2PuZw6y
When children in a blended family have to share a home, a lot of issues and complexities can come into play. Today I'm flying solo to share tips on making this challenging living situation a bit easier and helping the kids come to terms with sharing space in a fair and inclusive way.
Listen in as I discuss some of the issues my own blended family encountered, as well as things you can do to avoid problems with sharing a space. You'll learn how to make everyone feel more included and at home through creating a new space that the kids can share their input on, creating space when there's not much extra room, and more.
01:00 — 05:33 - The difficulties of sharing a space.
05:33 - 07:15 - Solutions to help prevent frustration, tears, and fights.
07:15 - 08:07 - Starting fresh and giving the kids input.
08:07 - 08:53 - How to create space when there's not a lot of extra room.
08:53 - 10:18 - How important it is to give children a voice.
10:56 - 13:07 - Another way to get that new ownership feel.
13:07 - 14:56 - Advice for TV and entertainment sharing.
14:56 - 16:50 - Eliminating challenge and threat.
You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://bit.ly/2P5zHtn
Today, I’m talking about a subject that I know many of you want to hear about… It’s a little thing called technology. Our little ones (or not-so-little ones) have access to a crazy number of devices these days—and it can all be a bit overwhelming.
I’m taking this episode to touch on all of it. Mike and I, like many parents, have had our concerns with technology. I think we all have the same fears. Is it making my child less active? Is it affecting their relationships with friends and family? Is it affecting their social skills? It’s hard to give a solid answer to any of those questions, but I think we all know that these devices do have an effect on our children.
In this episode, I discuss what kind of rules we should (or should not) be making around technology for our children. And let’s be real — technology isn’t all bad. I also touch on all the benefits of technology that we often overlook, and how we can teach them about all the good stuff they can do on their devices while limiting the bad stuff. It’s all about communication.
00:50 — 04:40 – The 4 concerns we all have with technology and our children
04:40 — 07:00 - There is value in these devices, until they become dependent
07:00 — 10:00 - When and how we’ve established rules
10:00 — 13:30 - The double-edged sword that is technology
13:30 — 16:00 - The value of open communication and having them hear it from you
16:00 — 22:00 – It’s all about balance
Mike and I had a squabble the other day. Ok, fine...it was a fight. We had some teen issues caused by our inconsistency with rules, and it caused us to have a conversation about boundaries and how to maintain them.
Gain access to all of the rules mentioned in the episode and more here!
In today’s episode, Mike and I will share the takeaways from our argument and why we actually found it to be extremely productive and effective. From it, we agreed to create an updated list of house rules that we both align with and will do our best to uphold.
Just because the rules may be different at your kid’s other home doesn’t mean that you can’t create your own. In fact, being clear and consistent with your rules maintains order in the home and gives your kids a sense of comfort and responsibility. Tune in to hear some of the rules we came up within our home and get some ideas for your own.
01:30 – 03:00 – Introducing today’s topic: A recent fight we had about boundaries
03:00 – 08:30 - The takeaway of our fight: Consistency is important.
08:30 – 11:00 - Why arguments can be productive and effective
11:00 – 21:30 - The Mulder rules, what inspired them, and what they teach
21:30 – 26:00 - A recap on today’s show
Today’s episode is with Mike Sherbakov, a friend we met through a house build we did in Mexico with our kids. Mike has some beautiful lessons to share about being a good parent, a good co-parent, and a great person overall.
In today’s episode, Mike will discuss the importance of allowing your child to communicate their passions, and he’ll share the starfish story that inspired him to help others – one family at a time. We’re inspired by Mike’s mission through Greatness Collective, we’re impressed by his relationship with his ex, and we feel his lessons are invaluable for any family – blended or not.
Mike describes his ex as a family member, and they’re extremely close and open with each other. This wasn’t always the case, but with open communication and the understanding that they both wanted a peaceful and supportive experience with their son and each other, a healthy relationship evolved. Tune in to hear Mike’s journey and what he has learned about kindness, boundaries, and taking responsibility.
00:30 – 07:30 – Introducing Mike Sherbakov and Greatness Collective
07:30 – 15:00 - Communicating passions, saving starfish, and practicing acts of kindness
15:00 – 18:30 - Providing the best possible experience for your child
18:30 – 23:30 - Mike’s journey, parenting style, and relationship with his co-parent
23:30 – 27:00 - How his relationship with his ex evolved over the years
27:00 – 33:00 - On boundaries and communication
33:00 – 40:00 - Determining what you really want and taking responsibility
40:00 – 45:00 – On unkind and hurt people
I’m doing something a little bit different for today’s episode. A while ago, I read an article on ScaryMommy.com titled “10 Things No One Tells You About Having a Blended Family” by Lindsey Mattingly. I’ve thought about it a lot since then and thought it’d be fun to share.
In today’s episode, I’ll read the article then discuss it – book club-style – in hopes that it’ll help shed light on some very real, very raw things that come with blended family life. I have to say, the 10 things Lindsey points out are spot-on and I can relate to each and every one of them.
Like the fact that blended family life comes with no road map. Even still, years after our marriage, Mike and I find ourselves writing our own road map for our blended family journey. And you will, too. Tune in to hear the 10 things no one tells you about blended family life, and hear how we’ve managed through them in our own way.
00:30 – 03:00 – Introducing today’s topic: An article I read on ScaryMommy.com
03:00 – 07:30 - The article “10 Things Nobody Tells You About Having a Blended Family”
07:30 – 13:00 - On prioritizing and being set in your ways
13:00 – 19:00 - On comparisons and jealously
19:00 – 24:30 - On loving your step-kids and observations about your own
24:30 – 29:00 - On forgiving easier and being disappointed about the big fuss
29:00 – 34:00 - On being private and having no road map
Today’s episode is from my recent interview with Melissa on The Blended Family podcast. We talked about all the funny stuff that comes up when raising teens and how the way boys and girls mature differently. What a roller coaster!
We also discuss my relationship with my ex and how I’ve handled negativity in the past. I’ve had to learn how to control my reactions – and it hasn’t always been easy. But it’s important to be cordial to my kid’s parent – not just for them, but for my own peace, too.
Having a harmonious blended family takes effort. And it’s always evolving. We work towards that harmony by spending quality alone time with each of our kids – biological and non – so we feel bonded and connected. Tune in to hear my thoughts on discipline, time management, and being an entrepreneurial blended family mom.
01:00 – 08:00 - Raising teenagers and the difference between boys and girls
08:00 – 14:00 - Summer’s relationship with her ex and how she handles negativity
14:00 – 19:00 - Controlling our reactions and learning to be friendly
19:00 – 25:30 - Spending alone time with the kids
25:30 – 29:00 - Dealing with different rules and discipline at different households
29:00 – 37:30 - How Summer harmonizes business and family
Mike and I took a bit of a hiatus, but we’re back at it and excited to share today’s topic: Staying connected. The truth is, whether in a blended family or not, it’s extremely important to stay connected to your partner through life’s ups and downs.
If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you know that it takes effort to keep your relationship fun, rewarding, and fulfilling. Without that effort, you or your partner can begin to feel resentful, unappreciated, and unhappy.
And it’s not all your partner’s responsibility. Each person needs to make the choice to have a successful relationship – and that choice comes with ownership, actions, and personal development work. Tune in to hear Mike and I reflect on the things we’ve learned, the things we’re working on, and the things that can help you, too.
01:00 – 03:30 - Introducing today’s topic: Staying connected
03:30 – 8:30 - What it takes to make a relationship succeed
08:30 – 14:00 - What Summer has learned about taking ownership
14:00 – 18:00 - Schedule private time with your partner
18:00 – 23:00 - Be nice to each other
23:00 – 26:30 - The takeaways
Today I’m proud to present The Gipford Moms! Erin and Tina are co-parenting moms – Erin is the biological mom and Tina is the step-mom who also has a child from a previous relationship and two with her husband (Tina’s ex). Although they’re very different, they stand on common ground when it comes to the most important thing: How to co-parent.
One glance at their website and you’ll realize that they’ve got a big crew – and they’re happy taking a family photo together! Not only that, but some of the kids are teenagers. Wow. They have an extremely unique relationship and have even written a book together about their experience.
The Gipford Moms and I discuss the different perspective they offer in their book and how they hope it’ll help other co-parents. We’ll talk about very real possibility of harmonious co-parenting if respect and communication are practiced and anger is released. Tune in to hear Erin and Tina’s co-parenting advice and get inspired to explore a better relationship with your co-parent – for yourself and for your kids.
01:00 – 05:30 - Introducing The Gipford Moms and their new book
05:30 – 10:30 - The family dynamics and the journey
10:30 – 14:30 - What their relationship was like in the beginning and how it has evolved
14:30 – 16:30 - Takeaways for successful co-parenting
16:30 – 21:30 - Co-authoring a book and what the kids think
21:30 – 25:00 - The book’s takeaways and feedback
25:00 – 29:30 - Advice for co-parents
29:30 – 32:00 - Their future plans and the possibility of a sequel
Today we’ve got a special guest on the show. Shana Pennington is an adult child of a blended family who is passionate about sharing her story. She’s almost 40 now and has a family of her own, which makes her insights into the blended family experience especially interesting.
When Shana’s parents got divorced, they moved far away from each other, suddenly making it so that Shanna only saw her father a couple times a year. However, Shana reflects on the distance as something that was actually good for the family, as now they all come together happy and healed without animosity.
Shana and I discuss the importance of being intentional with your relationships – both the new ones and the old. We’ll talk about the beautiful side of divorce that creates the opportunity for children to be around more love – which is always an awesome thing, right? Tune in to hear Shana’s thoughts on happiness, responsibility, and harmony – and hear what she’d tell her younger self.
01:00 – 04:00 - Introducing today’s guest and her blended family experience
04:00 – 07:30 - Her relationships with her siblings and parents over her lifetime
07:30 – 10:00 - What helped Shana see things differently
10:00 – 15:30 - Seeking harmony and some tips for parents
15:30 – 19:00 - Reframing divorce and handling new family dynamics
19:00 – 24:00 - Advice for divorced parents
24:00 – 27:00 – How her experience has affected her marriage and parenting
Today we’re talking about money. Stop! Don’t run away! Hear us out. With blended families, there’s bound to be talk about money. Whether it’s a savings account for the kids, child support, a prenuptial agreement with a new spouse, or splitting things with an ex – money conversations must be had.
And for many of us, they’re uncomfortable. We’re taught that talking about money is rude or should be kept private, and this often leads us to avoid the conversations altogether. That’s when things get sticky. What if your new spouse didn’t know what child support you paid, despite the fact that your finances are now consolidated? How about that savings account you and your ex started for your child when they were born?
Today, Mike and I will talk about what it takes to have a successful, transparent, and trusting relationship where you can talk about everything. Always. We’ll bring up some thoughts on equality between siblings and how love for a new step-child naturally grows. Tune in to hear our thoughts on true commitment and what really matters at the end of the day.
00:45 – 07:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Money
07:00 – 11:00 - Transparency, trust, and taking responsibility
11:00 – 17:00 - Equality among blended family kids and prenuptial agreements
17:00 – 20:00 - Allowing love to grow and having realistic expectations
20:00 – 25:30 - The family budget and committing to it all with your partner
25:30 – 30:00 - What you really need at the end of the day
Today’s episode is an interview with Melissa Valder, a woman who grew up in a blended family and is passionate about sharing her story and insights with families now going through the experience themselves. The blended family experience from the child’s point of view offers insight into how our children may process this journey later as adults.
As Melissa reflects on her parent’s divorce, remarriages, custody arrangement, and communication, she recognizes the things that impact her still today – both as challenges and strengths. Children learn through their parents and how they handle situations, and the children of blended families are no different.
Today, Melissa and I will talk about the challenges she faced growing up in a blended family and what she’d say to her parents of 20 years ago knowing what she knows now. She’ll also give some tips on how to better handle adult conversations, money management involving the kids, and communication with your co-parent – even if you don’t like them.
00:45 – 05:00 - Introducing today’s topic: A child’s experience within a blended family
05:00 – 11:00 - Melissa’s relationship with the members of her blended family
11:00 – 16:00 - The beauty of a step-parent’s role and how your child might feel
16:00 – 21:30 - How Melissa processed the struggles she faced within a blended family
21:30 – 28:00 - The dynamic she witnessed between her parents and step parents
28:00 – 35:00 - Taking care of yourself and the good/bad of custody arrangements
35:00 – 41:30 - Choosing to learn from your experiences whether good or challenging
Today’s episode is a crash course on the top assumptions people tend to make about their new blended family. It’s important to manage these unrealistic assumptions because the truth is, things probably won’t be fine and dandy from the get-go! And that’s ok.
Nothing in life comes easy. The relationship between you and your new step-child – or between new siblings – may not be exactly how you dreamed it would be before you moved in. Don’t stress. That’s normal. As with any relationship, it takes time to build trust and connection.
Today, Mike and I will talk about the process of gaining trust and respect within your new family dynamic. Listen in to hear some tips to get on the same page as your spouse, and learn how communication can get you that much closer to the blended family experience you first had in mind.
01:00 – 05:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Managing assumptions and expectations
05:00 – 09:30 - Expecting your new family and step-family to get along perfectly
09:30 – 13:00 - On earning trust and respect
13:00 – 20:00 - On step-kid behavior, empathy, and taking responsibility
20:00 – 29:00 - On the relationship between spouses and active communication
29:00 – 34:00 – Some final takeaways
Today’s episode is about NOT using your child as your counselor. This topic has come up frequently with friends and family, so we’re excited to share some bits of advice. It’s easy to forget that your child cannot process or relate to the things you’re going through, and it puts them in a tough position to even try.
Your children aren’t your counselor or your friend, listeners. They’re not equipped to be on the receiving end of your vent and they don’t want to be in the middle. Sharing your problems or venting about their other parent isn’t helping anything, in fact, it’s damaging their relationship with you and others they love.
Today, Mike and I will talk about a teenager who was in the middle of something devastating between her parents – and she knew because her mother was narrating every painful detail. Listen in to hear the lasting impact that venting too many details has on children and what every parent can do to avoid using their child to justify their feelings.
04:30 – 06:30 - Introducing today’s topic: Using your child as a counselor
06:30 – 08:00 - Your child is not your friend; they need your stability
08:00 – 13:00 - An example of a child being given too many details
13:00 – 15:30 - The long-term impact of putting your child in the middle
15:30 – 17:30 - Some tips for parents
17:30 – 21:00 - Protecting your child’s experience and setting your ego aside
21:00 – 25:00 – Final thoughts: Your child isn’t there to justify your feelings
To honor all the moms and step-moms for Mother’s Day, I wanted to do an episode on what we think but don’t often say about our blended family experience. When I speak to new step-moms, I often get an exasperated sigh followed by some version of, “I didn’t sign up for this!”
The truth is, you did! But it’s also true that you couldn’t have possibly known all the complexities that come with step-motherhood before you signed up. Now that you’re in, breathe. It’s okay. You aren’t alone.
Today, I’ll discuss the most common concerns I hear from mothers and step-mothers of blended families. As a gift for that special woman on Mother’s Day , I’ll also give you fathers and partners some tips to show that special woman that she is loved, appreciated, and acknowledged. Listen in to hear some step-mom fine print and learn how to navigate through the crazy (but totally worth it) journey of step-motherhood.
02:00 – 04:00 - Introducing today’s topic: What moms and step-moms think but don’t say
04:00 – 08:00 - Accepting the complexities that come with step-motherhood
08:00 – 12:00 – Love, respect, and reprioritizing
12:00 – 15:30 - The importance of help, acknowledgement, and appreciation
15:30 – 22:30 - Pressure, responsibility, and navigating the extended family
22:30 – 27:30 - Boundaries and understanding that you aren’t always the priority
27:30 – 29:00 - A final takeaway and communication tip
I recently saw a quote on Instagram that read, “I had to forgive someone who wasn’t even sorry. That’s strength.” The concept of forgiveness can be a difficult one to grasp - especially in blended families where relationships have ended in pain. How do you forgive? When?
Forgiveness can relieve you of the burden of hate, anger, and pain so that you can move on. Because really, forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the person you’re forgiving. It allows you both to come away at peace, complete, and ready to take your next step.
Today, we’ll discuss how to forgive when the other person isn’t sorry. The thing is, you can’t let someone else or their actions determine how you go through life. At some point, you’ve got to make the decision to take control. Listen in to hear how boundaries, patience, vulnerability, and self-awareness all strengthen your ability to let go.
01:00 – 04:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Forgiveness
04:00 – 08:00 - The natural course of emotions and understanding that things take time
08:00 – 14:00 - Forgiveness as a process and boundaries
14:00 – 18:00 - The role of vulnerability and self-awareness when forgiving
18:00 – 21:30 – Final thoughts: Always be kind and join our community
On Friday mornings, at 7am PST, we do a Facebook Live that we call Brewing with the Moulders. Basically, we roll out of bed, brew some coffee, go live, and talk about all kinds of things that come up in life. Like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you’re gonna get – whether it be funny, serious, intellectual...or not – but it’s always a good time. Join us sometime!
We sparked up a conversation a couple weeks ago has that continued via direct messages and personal conversations, so we decided it’d be a great topic to discuss here. The topic – having different values than your co-parent – is clearly one that blended families are begging to have brought to the limelight.
Today, we’ll discuss the common issues that arise when there’s a difference in values and how to move past them. The thing is, you probably aren’t going to change your ex’s values, so the real hurdle is changing the way you see them. Listen in to hear how consistency, communication, respect, understanding, and appreciation are the keys to a happier co-parenting experience – and learn why your kids will be so much better off when this is the case.
02:30 – 04:00 – Today’s topic: Having different values than your co-parent
04:00 – 08:00 - Values and the complications that arise when they are misaligned
08:00 – 12:30 - Emulating the same values you try to instill in your child
12:30 – 17:00 - Allowing communication, respect, and understanding
17:00 – 19:30 - A letter from a listener to exemplify co-parenting with misaligned values
19:30 – 22:00 - Allowing your kids to form an opinion and asking them questions
Many Everything Always listeners are writing in to let us know that they are childless step-parents seeking better ways to navigate their new role. That’s why I’m so excited to have Heather Stewart on the show to talk about all the different facets of this rewarding – and sometimes challenging – position within a blended family.
Before she met her husband, Heather lived a life for herself. After all, she was single with no kids! But, when she fell in love with a man who had two young boys, everything changed. She naturally moved into a parental role to help her husband and discovered everything that comes with blended family life.
Today, Heather and I will discuss how she moved into the role of step-mom and the things she, her husband, and the bio-mom do to communicate courteously and effectively. We’ll also get into parenting involvement and letting go of resentments for the sake of the kids. Listen in to hear how Heather connected with her step-sons, why they call her “mom”, and what she has realized about mini parent fails.
00:30 – 07:30 - Introducing Heather and how she became an insta-mom
07:30 – 13:00 - Navigating the relationship with step-kids and the bio-parent
13:00 – 24:00 - Knowing when to get involved and keeping emotions in check
24:00 – 30:00 - Heather’s connection with her step-kids and why they call her “mom”
30:00 – 36:30 - Putting your child’s happiness first, letting little things go, and staying positive
36:30 – 42:00 - Heather’s blog and her voice for “wicked” step-moms
Today I’m interviewing Toby Hazlewood an author, freelance writer, father, husband and project manager. He has written on topics including parenting, personal development, modern-life, culture and entrepreneurship. As founder of Divorced Lifestyle Design, Toby is passionate about inspiring those who are working through divorce or separation to choose to thrive rather than merely survive after divorce.
Toby exemplifies that a post-divorce life can be awesome – which can be hard to imagine when you’re in the thick of it. He shares tools and mindset hacks that you can use to reframe your situation and push forward happily and healthily.
On today’s episode, Toby will talk about “bird nesting”; an unconventional living situation where the children live in their own home full-time and their divorced parents live with them in turns. That’s very different from the traditional way we have the kids move back and forth, right? Listen in to hear why Toby is so passionate about living a post-divorce life by design rather than convention.
01:00 – 06:00 - Introducing Toby Hazlewood and today’s topic
06:00 – 13:00 – Toby’s journey and “new start”
13:00 – 19:00 – Tips from the “90-Day Playbook for Thriving After Divorce”
19:00 – 28:00 - Toby’s blended family dynamic and “bird nesting”
28:00 – 33:00 - How “bird nesting” impacted the new spouses and families
33:00 – 36:00 - Uniting the whole family in or out of the nest
36:00 – 41:00 - The biggest challenge of “bird nesting”: Changing rules, same home
41:00 – Going outside the box to create a life by design and thrive
Resources:
- Divorced Lifestyle Design Facebook community
- Toby’s Website – Divorced Lifestyle Design
It’s hard enough to manage the dynamics of one family, not to mention doing it as a blended family! From different preferences, to habits, to diets, to bedtimes, to personalities – the list goes on – when two families become one it adds a whole new set of challenges to the ones you’ve already got.
Creating a happy and healthy family unit requires work, dedication, and major commitment – whether it’s your first, second, or third rodeo. That’s why it’s so important to anticipate the common feelings that may come up and challenge the success of your blended family.
Today, we’ve got a list of eight feelings that you’ll probably feel at some point during your blended family experience – and, by the way, they’re normal. But, if you don’t acknowledge and move past them, it could be detrimental. Listen in to hear how resentment, ego, needing control, lacking grace, jealousy, unfairness, faking it, and giving up can ruin your blended family – and learn how to move past these things to reach a happier family unit.
01:30 – 07:00 – Introducing today’s topic: Why blended families don’t work
07:00 – 11:00 – Resentment and ego
11:00 – 16:00 – Let go of needing control and give grace
16:00 – 27:30 - Get over jealousy, keep things fair, and don’t fake that it’s easy
27:30 – 30:00 - Giving up on making it work
30:00 – 34:00 – There will always be ups and downs; be grateful for moments of growth
Resources:
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Today I’m speaking with Naja Hall, a family and life coach dedicated to promoting harmony and restoring balance in mending, broken, and blended millennial families. She is the Founder of Blended and Black, a thriving online community complete with support groups, online courses, and a popular blog. She’s also launching her new podcast, “I know I’m Crazy”!
Naja knows how easy it is to stay in the land of victimhood. That’s why she helps new step and co parents get past projections and be unbothered so they can have peace with themselves – regardless of whatever wild roller coaster someone else is on. The truth is, when it comes to navigating a relationship with a new co-parent, we can only take accountability for our own actions and emotions.
Naja will also get into boundary-setting and conscious, intentional interaction with your new co-parent. Although you’ll probably never become BFFs with your partner’s ex, it is possible to create a relationship with them that is built on boundaries and respect. Listen in to hear how to keep a stable home for the kids, maintain loyalty binds without taking it to the extreme, and connect with other families that are in the same boat.
01:00 – 05:00 – Introducing Naja, her mission, and her journey
05:00 – 10:00 – Steps to swerve past projections, be unbothered, and have peace
10:00 – 12:30 - Seeing instability, taking accountability, and getting off someone else’s ride
12:30 – 17:30 - The importance of boundary-setting and conscious interaction
17:30 – 23:30 - Navigating the bio and step relationship with boundaries and respect
23:30 – 28:30 - How to keep stability in the home for the kids
28:30 – 34:00 - Loyalty binds versus enmeshment and the outcome of each
Welcome back to another fabulous episode of the Everything Always podcast! Summer here, and today I’m speaking with Rochelle Long, MA, LMHC, an expert who counsels couples and families through all kinds of challenges like divorce, separation, new marriages, life changes, and co-parenting.
Although we often talk about co-parenting, there is another way: Parallel parenting. If you and your ex have a high-conflict relationship, parallel parenting may be best for you and your children. In either case, the relationship with the other parent should be strictly business. Focus on what’s best for the children and make decisions when in a rational – not emotional – state.
Rochelle will also go into the ugly truth about parental alienation. Unfortunately, even though parental alienation rarely has substance or is validated, it can seriously damage hearts and relationships. Listen in to hear how to better navigate blended family life, and learn the telltale signs of parental alienation so you can re-focus on what is best for your children.
01:00 – 05:00 - Introducing Rochelle Long, her journey, and the topics for today’s show
05:00 – 17:00 - Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting and parental alienation
17:00 – 24:00 - The complexities that arise in blended families and some tips to navigate them
24:00 – 36:00 - Examples of parental alienation and how Rochelle deals with it
36:00 – 40:00 - The steps she takes to heal parental alienation
40:00 – 42:00 – Contact Rochelle and get her free eBook here
Welcome to the Everything Always podcast! Summer and Mike here, and today we’ve got two special guests on the show. They are doing family in an unconventional but extremely loving and supportive way. Aaron and Linnea Weikleenget have been together for 10 years – since his kids were babies – and now have a child of their own.
They had their child 6 years into the relationship and travel a lot – which has offered challenges when co-parenting with his ex. However, they have a great relationship with her which has allowed for flexibility and understanding when their schedule unexpectedly changes. They’ve worked towards this, and it really required an understanding between Linnea and Aaron’s ex.
Aaron and Linnea have some great insight into blended family life and touch on the experiences they’ve had while balancing his 2 pre-teens and their four-year-old. Linnea also discusses what it was like to start a relationship with a man that had two babies from a previous relationship when she wasn’t exactly ready to play mom. Listen in to learn more about Aaron and Linnea, and see what tips you can glean to navigate your own blended family experience.
00:45 – 05:30 - Introducing today’s guests: Aaron and Linnea
05:30 – 10:00 – How their co-parenting works and how they separate the “adult stuff”
10:00 – 18:00 – The evolving dynamics of their blended family
18:00 – 22:00 – Challenging moments when first navigating their new family
22:00 – 29:00 – When one child is home full-time and the others aren’t
29:00 – 37:00 – Starting a relationship and prioritizing with a new partner and his/her kids
Welcome back to the Everything Always podcast! Today, we have a guest on the show that will have all you step-parents nodding in agreement – Ashley Coleman. Ashley is the content manager and writer for stepmomming.com and has a ton of great insights about the step-parenting experience.
Ashley has two step-daughters, no kids of her own, and is a certified life coach. She’s also pursuing her Ph.D. in Higher Education Administration and works at a large university in Virginia. She is a busy woman, but this hasn’t stopped her from consistently sharing invaluable advice, information, and resources with the Stepmomming community.
On today’s episode, we touch on a ton of things that we step-parents can relate to. Specifically, Ashley discusses coping with second-wife insecurities, dealing with small parenting differences, and handing big-ticket parenting decisions. Whether you bring kids into the relationship or not, this episode is sure to provide some perspective to your new parental role.
01:00 – 09:00 - Introducing Ashley Coleman, her background, and her journey
09:30 – 18:30 - How to cope with second-wife insecurities
18:30 – 28:00 - How to deal with small parenting differences
28:00 – 33:50 - Being empathetic towards the other parents and breaking the “step” stigma
33:50 – 39:30 - Letting the biological parents deal with the big-ticket parenting decisions
39:50 – 47:00 –Taking responsibility and being accepting of the whole package
Summer and Mike here for another fun episode of the Everything Always podcast! Today, we’ve a special guest on the show – Mike’s best friend, college roommate, and our officiant – Kyle McGregor. Kyle was in a relationship with someone who had an 8-year-old, and the relationship ended eight years later when the (not-so-little) girl was 16.
When Kyle met his ex, he didn’t meet her daughter until 6 months into the relationship. This was a good thing and allowed for his ex to determine whether he’d stick around before bringing her daughter into the mix. And, over the next eight years, as his relationship matured with his ex, he bonded with her daughter.
When things didn’t work out, his relationship with both ended and it was extremely hard. If you’re a step-parent, dating someone with a kid, or parent who is thinking of bringing someone new into your kid’s life, tune in. There are some important lessons we can all take away from Kyle’s story.
01:00 – 10:00 – Introducing today’s topic and guest
10:00 – 18:00 - Kyle’s experience when dating his ex and getting to know her daughter
18:00 – 25:00 - What happened when Kyle’s relationship went south
25:00 – 35:00 - The lessons Kyle learned through his experience
35:00 – 43:00 - Being empathetic, being emotionally mature, and looking inward
43:00 – 48:00 – Summarizing the takeaways of Kyle’s story
Summer here for another episode of the Everything Always podcast! Welcome back! Today, I’ve got my dear friend, Kelsey Holohan, on the show to discuss blending families when one partner doesn’t have any kids. Kelsey has three kids and her soon-to-be husband doesn’t, so this brings up some interesting advantages – and challenges.
She’s been with Jeff for 6 years, so her kids have come to see him as another dad. At first, this brought some hard feelings from the kid’s biological dad, but over the years, things changed. The fathers acknowledged what the other brought to the table – and now the kids get to feel secure and happy with all their adults.
We hope this conversation sheds some light for parents, step-parents, and adults coming into a relationship with or without kids. It’ll never be perfect, but the goal is to create a peaceful environment for the kids while strengthening the bond with our new partner. So, tune in, hear what Kelsey is going through, and take away some valuable insight to consider in your own life.
00:45 – 5:00 - Introducing Kelsey and today’s topic
5:00 – 11:00 - The challenges that come with having a new dad
11:00 – 18:30 - Unique situations when a step-parent has no biological kids
18:30 – 27:00 - Balancing a relationship with your ex and new partner
27:00 – 31:00 - Being confident in your parenting choices with your new partner
31:00 – 36:30 - Shifting from person to parent in the kid’s eyes
It’s another perfect day for the Everything Always podcast with Mike and Summer! Today we’re going to talk about something we all go through: Change! Although things are always changing, we’ve got some bigger-than-normal changes happening in our life right now that make this the perfect topic for today’s episode.
So, how do we deal? Change can be scary or exhausting but, really, it’s all about how you deal with it because change is always going to be there – whether you like it or not. Sometimes change is controlled – and sometimes it isn’t. But if you know in your heart it’s necessary, act and push past the fear that’s holding you back.
Easier said than done, right? Well, we’ve created a four-step process to effectively deal with change that can help. See how you can use it – whether it be in business, life, health, or your relationships – to manage change and improve your life. Get comfy and listen in to hear why not coping isn’t a coping mechanism, how to manage what you can control, and what a difference patience and a plan can make.
1:00 – 5:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Change
5:00 – 8:30 - Embracing discomfort, taking positive action, and how we manage change
8:30 – 16:00 - Proper coping, clarity, and choosing the feeling you want to have
16:00 – 22:30 - Creating a vision and remaining patient
22:30 – 26:30 - A recap: Cope, choose your feelings, have patience, and accept/make a plan
26:30 – 31:00 – Some exciting new things for Everything Always
Hello everyone! Mike and Summer here, and welcome back to the Everything Always podcast! Today, we got our daughters together to talk about their blended family experience. Before the show, they gave us some topics they wanted to talk about so we parents could learn from their perspective.
Our kids went through their own set of challenges when we blended our families, and that can be easy to forget when we’re busy battling our own struggles as the adults. Our girls are closer than ever – which wasn’t always the case – but, like any other relationship, theirs will continue to grow and evolve.
The girls talked a lot about empathy – especially with each other and the youngest siblings of the group. We also chatted about their initial feelings of awkwardness and fear when navigating the relationship with their new step-parent. Join us to hear from another side – the kid’s side – of the blended family experience.
01:00 – 5:30 – Introducing our girls and the beginnings of our blended family
5:30 – 9:00 - The most challenging part of being in a blended family
9:00 – 13:00 - The ins-and-outs of the step-sister experience; drifting apart then back together
13:00 – 18:30 - Advice from our daughters – “be easy on the other side”
18:30 – 20:30 - Awkwardness and initial fears our kids had
20:30 – 23:00 - What our girls think about marriage and healthy relationships
23:00 – 29:00 - Sharing issues and protecting the younger siblings
It’s another beautiful day for an Everything Always podcast with Summer and Mike! Today, we’re going to dive into blended family house rules. This will probably speak to step-parents the most because we know it can be challenging to set rules with your step-kids while trying to maintain (or create!) a bonded relationship.
How and when should you discipline a step-child? Is there a way to maintain peace in the home without being a pushover? How do you keep an effective disciplining style and avoid backlash? These are common challenges that send step-parents into panic-mode, but the good news is that there is a way.
We aren’t perfect, but we have learned some house rule do’s and don’ts along our journey. Things like family meetings, being a team, and establishing clear rules has helped us avoid some major meltdowns in our house. Listen in to learn the do’s and don’ts of blended family house rules so you can better align with your spouse, establish peace, and make your home a loving and supportive space for parents and kids alike.
03:00 – 08:00 - Introducing today’s topic, why it’s important, and our experience
08:00 – 13:30 - Establishing a relationship before implementing disciplinary action
13:30 – 18:00 - Family meetings, house rules, and creating a team
18:00 – 25:00 - Aligning with the bio-parent and being a parental figure/role model
25:00 – 28:00 - Creating balance, avoiding blame, and fighting away from the kids
28:00 – 30:30 - Handling backlash and taking each opportunity to make things better
Welcome to the Everything Always podcast! Summer here, and today we’ve got a special guest on the show. Samantha Waltz is the author of a book I recently read called “Blended: Writers on the Stepfamily Experience”. It calls on her experience as a stepparent, family therapist, and teacher of classes and workshops on parenting and child development.
The book features thirty writers who know what blending is like first-hand, and their stories truly capture the complexities of the journey. Oftentimes, people are afraid to put their situations and challenges out there, but these authors bore it all so we could relate and learn.
Samantha has some great wisdom to share with us about prioritizing, managing expectations, and communication. She also has a Facebook page for the book so we can continue the conversation and connect with others on a similar journey. Listen in to learn more about Samantha, her book, and her tips on how to navigate the stepfamily experience.
00:45 – 06:00 - Introducing today’s guest: Samantha Waltz
06:00 – 20:00 – The book’s stories and Samantha’s personal experience
20:00 – 23:30 - Putting ego aside to appreciate our children’s parents
23:30 – 26:00 - Samantha’s biggest take-away from the book
26:00 – 32:00 - Scheduling and seeking harmony
32:00 – 38:00 - Communicating and acknowledging feelings
Summer here for another episode of the Everything Always podcast! Welcome! Today, I’m going to talk about some things you should know before blending your families. What I mean by “blending” is when you officially turn your, and your new partner’s, families into one by co-living and co-parenting.
To be honest, when Michael and I officially merged our families into one, there were some things we did wonderfully – and some things we could’ve done better. Now we want to share the five main things to be clear on before blending.
We hope this list saves you some trouble and allows your family to blend as beautifully and seamlessly as possible. By building a foundation for your family, your kids will feel so much more love, confidence, and security. So, grab a pen and listen in to find out the five main things to establish before blending families.
00:45 – 03:00 – Introducing today’s topic: The 5 things to establish before blending
03:00 – 06:00 - Making your relationship a priority
06:00 – 10:00 - Empowering the kids and creating a secure space
10:00 – 12:00 - Being on the same page about finances
12:00 – 13:30 - Understanding the living situation
13:30 – 18:00 - Building tradition as a new family
Welcome to the Everything Always podcast! Summer and Michael here, and today we’re going to talk about bonding with your step-kids. The relationship with a step-kid can be a tricky one to navigate, but there are some things you can do as a step-parent to show them that you care.
You can’t force your step-kids to like you. And the journey to reach the relationship you want may be longer than you’d hoped. But what you can do is foster an environment of respect, openness and love so that, when they’re ready, they see you as an ally – and even start to like you a bit!
We’ve got some tools that will help you create a bond with your step-kid that is powerful and lasts. So, listen in, look at our checklist, and find out how to be a calm, consistent, and kind adult that your step-kids can count on.
00:45 – 05:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Bonding with your step-kids
5:00 – 15:30 - Be available, show interest, have patience, be empathetic, and be mindful
15:30 – 17:00 - Find a common interest with your step-kid
17:00 – 22:30 - Alone-dates with your biological and step kids
22:30 – 27:00 - Maintaining consistent rules and values; resisting the urge to hide
27:00 – 33:00 - Support your step-kid’s love for their other parent; the checklist
It’s another great day for the Everything Always podcast with Mike and Summer! Today we’re going to talk about a heavy topic that has been brought up often: Badmouthing your ex-spouse in front of the children.
We know this may not be the funnest topic to talk about, but we promise you, you’ll want to hear this – especially if you or your ex are guilty of doing this. Badmouthing happens a lot in blended families and, in the end, it hurts the kids most.
When you’re upset, it’s easy to forget who you should be putting first. It’s easy to forget that what you’re saying will impact your child – and their relationship with their parents (yes, you too!) – for a lifetime. Listen in to hear how to stop badmouthing, how to handle a badmouthing spouse – and finally realign with the fact that the kids are, and always should be, number one.
1:00 – 5:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Badmouthing
5:00 – 9:00 - How badmouthing starts and how it impacts the kids
9:00 – 17:00 - Understanding that your ex-spouse does things differently – and that’s ok
17:00 – 22:30 - Allowing your kids to develop their own relationships without your input
22:30 – 28:00 - Responding to your spouse’s badmouthing in a controlled way
28:00 – 31:00 - How to address badmouthing with your ex
31:00 – 37:00 - Questions to ask yourself and an example
Hi, everyone! Mike and Summer here, and welcome to the Everything Always podcast! Today, we’re talking about boundaries – specifically with your ex-partner. Clear boundaries are so important to maintaining a healthy relationship with your new partner and family.
We’ve followed three rules to keep healthy boundaries with our ex-partners. The first rule is to put your partner and family first. Always. The second is to keep your communication with your co-parent all business, and the third is to create guidelines for your communication.
The creation of these rules came through experience. Lots of it. But by following them, we’ve kept respectful relationships with our exes without crossing the line and creating uncomfortable situations at home in the process. Join us to learn more about these three rules, and see how you can implement them ASAP!
01:00 – 4:00 – Introducing the three rules to maintaining boundaries
4:00 – 9:00 - The first rule: Putting your partner and family first and an example
9:00 – 16:30 - Rule number two: Keeping it business
16:30 – 21:00 - Rule number three: Making communication rules
21:00 – 26:00 - Why boundaries are important and what happens if they aren’t exercised
26:00 – 31:00 - Summarizing today’s takeaways and some questions to ask yourself
Welcome back to the Everything Always podcast with Mike and Summer! Today, we’re opening up and sharing our story with you. Now, we know that sometimes when there are divorces and remarriages there can be some difficult parts of the story to share – so we’re going first!
We all have the opportunity to be proud of our story – no matter what – because it’s what got us here. It’s normal to feel guilt, shame, hurt, or wrongdoing, but remember that through struggle comes strength – and at some point, we’ve got to let all that go.
We believe in honoring your story, being grateful for what was, and looking forward to a future you’d like to have. To do that, we’ll share some actionable tips to improve your mindset, be grateful, and elevate your relationships at home. So, listen in to hear our story, our backgrounds, and what we’ve done to create a family we love.
2:30 – 6:00 – Introducing the episode
6:00 – 18:30 - Our story and background
18:30 – 19:30 – How you can submit questions
19:30 – 27:30 - Our first kiss and beyond
27:30 – 36:00 - Takeaways, tips, and goalsetting
Welcome to the very first Everything Always podcast with Summer and Michael! On the show, we talk about how to successfully manage a blended family. Why? Because it’s a challenging, fun, crazy and beautiful journey.
We are a blended family of four. We each came into our marriage with two kids and it hasn’t always been easy. But we’ve navigated through it and are excited to share our journey and experiences with you. We look forward to your participation, too!
Our goal is to help people navigate a healthy family dynamic, and we believe our dialogue and wisdom from incredible guests will help provide the tools to make that possible. So, get comfortable, tune in, and learn more about us, our story, and our plans for the season!
00:45 – 03:30 - Introducing ourselves and our family
03:30 – 05:30 - The peaks and valleys of life
05:30 – 10:30 - The purpose of the podcast and what to expect this season
10:30 – 16:30 - Our beliefs and goals
16:30 – 22:00 - Having kids on the podcast and joining the Everything Always community