Our thoughts are independent of our situations. They are not caused by our situations, they are independent of them. They're optional. We get to choose them. Two people could have the exact same situation and each could think entirely different thoughts about that situation. We get to choose our thoughts. Which, trust me, is a powerful, lifechanging tool to master. However, there are some things to note:

1. Your thoughts can’t be intentionally chosen 100% of the time
2. This isn’t an excuse to victim blame; trauma is real and needs healing.
3. You can’t force yourself to believe a thought if it doesn’t feel right in your body. Ladder thoughts, or neutral thoughts, are conduits for believing the thoughts that you want to believe.
4. There’s a difference between true thoughts and helpful thoughts. Thoughts that serve you are way more impactful than ones that feel the truest or loudest.
5. And finally, changing your thoughts to bypass negative emotions is wasted energy. Lean into the discomfort, process the pain, learn from it and move on.

Choosing your thoughts, intentionally, on purpose, is the secret to achieving your goals. You want to stop binge eating? Believing you can is the first important step. Believing that you don’t need food to numb your emotions is an important belief to have. That belief will cause you to feel empowered, capable, loving, patient. These feelings will drive the actions of: processing emotions instead of numbing, healing old wounds, bettering your relationship with yourself, knowing yourself more. Which will ultimately lead to recovery.

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