Often, our defense strategies can be destructive in a lot of ways, both to ourselves and others. These defense strategies can look like finding emotionally unavailable romantic partners because you have an open wound of abandonment - so you are able to be safe by not getting close enough to another person, sometimes it looks like never taking risks because you have an open wound around failure that made you feel unworthy and unsafe, so you stay safe and don’t strive to achieve goals or fulfill your purpose. In terms of binge eating recovery, the act of bingeing is often a defense mechanism or protector coming online to put out the fire of our inner wounds so we don’t have to feel them. Which is why food is often numbing or distracting.

The benefit of healing our deep inner wounds is a life lived authentically. There are a lot of ways to describe that, IFS calls it to live in your Self energy (capital S Self) and tp be Self led. Other practices call it being in your Essence. Being true to your Core. Living from your soul. So if we healed these wounds, we wouldn’t have to have these defenses at all. And we could live a life that’s more authentic, more real, where we’re able to live in our essence more of the time so our actions aren’t driven by fear. Instead of living out of fear; instead of having your pain and anxiety leading your decisions in your life, you’d let your Self lead your way in the world, which would not only be the most authentic, but the most fulfilling way to live. Its been said that our greatest contribution to society will come from the healing of our deepest wounds.

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