On todays episode we are going to talk about friends, not the show, but the title is a little nod to if for those who are fans of the sitcom.

I think that this is a really important to talk about as the new year is approaching because as much as we want to focus on ourselves and our goals, we also need to think about the people who surround us. There is a proverb that my dad taught me that I never had a shortage of listening to, it goes: “If you want me to tell you who you are, show me your 5 closet friends.”

Thinking back to who I was when I was younger, I think that this saying especially holds true. I remember when I was in high school I surrounded myself with the students who were in the top 10 percent of my class. Being friends with them made me driven and competitive but also anxious and insecure. We’d compare test scores and study together, while also agonizing over missing the one question that got in the way of a perfect score. My closest friends were also really into organizing like me, and we’d go to non-profit organizations together after school every single day. Id organize rallies for better equity in education and deliver keynote speeches in front of the state house...and so did my friends.

Now I’m not saying that I only enjoyed these things because my friends did, that would negate the fact that I’m my own person with my own interest. But it did play into how invested in these things I became and how I navigated my personal, academic, and professional life. Heck I even went on to start a successful business with my best friend that is now completely up and running in multiple states when I was 16. Sigh The power of friendship is incredible.

Then I also had a friend group of all first generation West African baddies. In a sea of differences all around me they were kin. My most familiar self outside of my body. This group helped me to reconcile with my Nigerian American identity and also my identity as a certified baddie.

The thing about friendship is that they help define who we are. The choices we make. The people that we become. And thats hella important. But something that we need to talk about is how friendship dynamics have changed since the pandemic and for many of us...since Entering college.

Raise your hand if in 2021 you felt alone and like you didn't know your friends that well. Raise your hand if the dynamics within your friendships changed or if you lost friends who were once meaningful to you.

If you didnt raise your hand at all, you are one lucky person. But for the rest of us, we really saw a big shift in our relationships with our friends this year. So in this episode I’ve decided to talk about all the reasons this may be and how to cope so that so that we feel less alone and know that we are not the only one going through a transition phase with friendships. I’ll also try my best to throw in a few tips about how to navigate this time so you walk away feeling empowered in your ability to meet and make new friends. And if you have any advice or comments you would like to share on the topic that I have missed, reach out to me @transitionphasepod on instagram and hit me up. Maybe you’ll be featued in the next episode!