Up until fairly recently, I thought that some people were just born perfect. That I was the anomaly and that I was not allowed to feel bad, sad, wrong, down… Negative emotions were the enemy, they had to be banned and replaced with a constant smile and radiant energy. Even looking at my friends or people from college, all I could see - or all I wanted to see - were kids my age that I felt were more accomplished than me, were smarter than me, prettier than me, skinnier than me. I labeled myself an outcast, the black sheep. I felt as if feeling bad and being sick meant being weak, so I internalized everything I was feeling, a bubble ready to burst at any point. I felt as if to fit in, I had to beat myself up daily, talk negatively about myself - to myself - and put on a mask. Every single day. Because without that mask, I wouldn’t fit in. Well, I would fit in even less. I would be an outcast amongst all the pretty faces and teenagers with the perfect lives. 

It is only through listening that I finally understood. That I finally saw how many people suffer from mental health issues. How many people internalise society’s standards and hold them true for themselves.