Not Just A Hashtag: Recent Episodes
Nicole Escobar
Statistics tell us that we all know someone who has experienced some form of sexual abuse. On the “Not Just a Hashtag” podcast, Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, unpack how the trauma of sexual abuse can affect a survivor's life. Sexual abuse is the most personal and damaging form of betrayal, and healing from sexual abuse is one of the most intense and emotionally challenging forms of healing. Tune in on the first Thursday of each month to learn how to walk through the healing journey and find true restoration for your soul. Every story matters and hope is real. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this moving episode, Nicole and Deb have a candid discussion highlighting the stark contrast between superficial reliance on personal performance or external sources and a profound, biblical hope anchored in God’s unchanging nature. This impactful episode underscores God’s remarkable ability to bring about genuine transformation and rescue.
Are you in need of a podcast that bravely tackles the difficult topic of sexual abuse, shares empowering stories of healing, and offers valuable insights on safeguarding your children and loved ones from such trauma? Look no further - this podcast and episode are just for you!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
Get ready for an exciting episode! The team is finally back after a brief hiatus in April 2024. Don't miss out on their latest episode!
In this episode, Nicole and Deb discuss the challenges of maintaining a healthy lifestyle after experiencing sexual abuse. The good news is that you don't have to face these difficulties alone. The episode provides practical advice and tips on how to take control of your physical and mental well-being. By making simple changes such as starting a gratitude journal, eliminating negative self-talk and unhealthy relationships, and confronting your fears, you can improve your quality of life and continue to thrive. Don't let your past abuse hold you back - take back control of your life today!
To catch Deb on her Detour podcast, don't forget to check out this link: https://l.ead.me/bdXB5u
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
Join Nicole and Deb on the latest episode of "Not Just a Hashtag" as they delve into the complexities of dealing with sexual abuse, self-respect, and the importance of setting clear boundaries based on biblical principles of self-love and behavioral change. In this thought-provoking conversation, they share their personal experiences with anger and frustration, and emphasize the significance of accountability for one's actions. They also discuss the challenges of maintaining boundaries within familial relationships, the role of family dysfunction, and the freedom that comes with boundary-setting and emotional intelligence.
Listen in as they reflect on their inner conflicts regarding feelings of competition and inadequacy resulting from family dynamics, the dangers of placing someone on a pedestal in relationships, and the power of humility.
If you're looking to improve your relationships and gain a deeper understanding of biblical boundaries, this is an episode you won't want to miss!
To learn more about Deb Marsalisi and to read more of her articles, please visit her webiste at https://debmarsalisi.com/2023/10/is-self-love-biblical/
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
Join us for an important episode where our team addresses the sensitive topic of sexual abuse. We explore the need for survivors to prioritize biblical self-care over the self-care that the world promotes. Our experts offer practical tips on maintaining discipline in your daily routine, grounding your identity in Christ, practicing gratitude, and trusting God during difficult times. We believe biblical self-care is an effective tool to help you grow in integrity and personal growth when done right. This episode is the first of a three-part series that promises to be insightful and informative. Don't miss out!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
The podcast “Not Just a Hashtag” by Trees of Hope explores the multifaceted issue of sexual abuse, intertwining personal narratives with education on the subject. It features discussions on the prevalence of sexual abuse, recognizing its signs, and methods for prevention. The host shares the story behind the creation of Trees of Hope and details their “Shelter from the Storm” curriculum designed to facilitate healing while safeguarding personal information. The ministry was founded as a response to the founder’s own experience with sexual abuse, aiming to aid others in their recovery process.
The podcast draws on Christian faith, particularly the role of Jesus in comforting, freeing, and proclaiming hope to those suffering, and likens this to the impact of his sacrifice. The transformative power of God is emphasized as a means to turn the pain of sexual abuse into beauty and joy. The narrative underscores the importance of being grounded in faith, drawing an analogy between survivors’ resilience and the strength of trees, and introduces a 40-day devotional called “Reclaim Your Wholeness,” which is rooted in the speaker’s healing journey through faith.
The conversation further addresses the need for a compassionate father figure and God’s careful and gradual healing approach, using the story of the prodigal son and the art of Kintsugi as metaphors for divine mercy and redemption. It reflects on breaking generational cycles, the importance of faith, and confronting false beliefs with truth. The challenges of life, including parenthood, are discussed, emphasizing the necessity of addressing and accepting past trauma rather than diminishing it.
Acknowledging past hurts and seeking professional help are highlighted as critical steps in the healing process, along with building a support network and cultivating a strong relationship with Jesus for profound healing.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
On this episode of the Not Just a Hashtag podcast, host Nicole Escobar and guest Deb Marsalisi have a candid conversation about sexual abuse and its effects. They both share their personal experiences as survivors, emphasizing the importance of being vulnerable and the need for Christians to be seen as real people.The discussion covers a history of abuse within a dysfunctional family, which led to issues with body image, self-worth, and unhealthy relationships. The episode highlights the significance of teaching children about consent and boundaries and fostering open communication. It also mentions the importance of creating a safe environment for children. If you are a survivor, a parent, or both, this episode is for you! We hope it brings you encouragement and hope. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
As the team, Nicole Escobar and Kristen Torres, continue their candid conversation about the impact of sexual abuse on a person's life, they share how minimization plays a significant role in the healing process. Nicole shares her personal story of minimization and encourages listeners to take an honest and courageous look at their story and allow the truth of their abuse to guide them to a deeper level of healing!
This episode serves as a refresher of what sexual abuse is and what effect it can have on a person's life. While each episode offers a safe and welcoming space for survivors seeking the courage to share their stories, some of the content may be triggering. Therefore, the information provided through our podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment that can be provided by your own physician, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, therapist, counselor, mental health practitioner, licensed dietitian or nutritionist, member of the clergy, or any other licensed or registered health care professional.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the Trees of Hope team revisits its mission and the purpose of the podcast. They engage in a candid conversation about the impact of sexual abuse on a person's life. For both new listeners and long-time followers, this episode serves as a refresher on the organization's identity and offers a safe and welcoming space for survivors seeking the courage to share their stories. If you're looking for support, the "Not Just a Hashtag" podcast is the perfect place for you!
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team examines why many survivors struggle with self-talk and limiting beliefs about what they can or can't do, how they will heal, and if they will heal. So this episode gives some tips on prioritizing yourself and encouraging yourself when no one else will. If you struggle with insecurities, doubts, or disbelief that healing is possible, this episode is for you!
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
In this second episode of a two-part series, the team discusses the state of our children and youth. Like never before in our lifetime, the topics of childhood sexual abuse, grooming, and the sexualization of our children have been headlining the news and social media posts over the past year. Much of the discussion concerns children being exposed to content in the public school system with an overt sexual agenda that doesn’t protect their innocent hearts and minds. So in this episode, the team looks at the other red flags to look out for that groomers and predators use to sexualize or exploit children.
This episode is for parents and anyone who works with children or wants to be more informed on protecting children from predators and groomers!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
In this first episode of a two-part series, the team discusses the state of our children and youth. Like never before in our lifetime, the topics of childhood sexual abuse, grooming, and the sexualization of our children have been headlining the news and social media posts over the past year. Much of the discussion concerns children being exposed to content in the public school system with an overt sexual agenda that doesn’t protect their innocent hearts and minds. So in this episode, the team focuses on spotting an individual who is a sexual predator or a groomer. This episode is for parents and anyone who works with children or wants to be more informed on how to protect children from predators and groomers!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team talks about how we can choose joy in every circumstance, even when life isn't going the way we want or we are suffering. Of course, happiness is not the same as joy. We may not be able to choose happiness all the time. But we can always choose joy. We can overcome our fear, doubts, worry, and anxiety when we lean into God's joyful nature. We can grow through dark times instead of letting them paralyze us. When we suffer or have pain in our life, we can tap into the joy of the Lord that renews our strength every day. So how do we do that? By being present and patient in God's presence and leaning into His promises found in His Word. The reality is that if you believe in Christ, you can NEVER lose!
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team talks about the lie of shame which says, “I am what I am. I can’t change. I’m hopeless.”When we believe this lie, it makes us feel like we have no worth or value. When we feel hopeless, we might make choices that reinforce those feelings. We might turn to substance abuse or other reckless decisions to numb the pain. Or, we may self-sabotage because we have no hope for anything better. If you have ever struggled with feeling hopeless because of a wrong decision or the trajectory of your life, this episode is for you. We want you to know that there is always hope! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this third episode of our four-part series, the team covers lie number three from the book Search For Significance. This lie tells us that because I have failed, I am unworthy and deserve to be punished. This lie results in self-loathing or blaming others for our failures. Consider a time when you have failed. Did you look inward, or did you blame somebody else for it, and you became the victim? If you took it upon yourself, did you look at the failure as an isolated incident, or did you turn it into a character trait or who you are? Did you find yourself saying anything to yourself like:
- If I fail, then I'm totally unworthy.
- I'm a failure. It's just who I am.
- I didn't just fail once. I am a failure.
God's answer to this problem can be found in the Bible in a single word - proportion. So what does that word mean? It simply means God took on what our due punishment was for being sinners and released us from the debt of it. He came, loved us despite our failings and sin, and took our sins, shame, pain, and failures on the cross. He took all of that so that we could be released from it. He replaced our sin and shame with His love and righteousness.
So when we live this lie of wanting to place blame, whether, on ourselves or someone else, somebody has to be punished for it. But we can free ourselves from that because God says, "You don't have to live under this anymore! When you feel unlovable, when you mess up, or when you fail. You don't have to punish yourself or anyone else for that! I took all that on me so you can be set free!"
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this second episode of our three-part series, the team covers lie number two from the book Search For Significance. This lie tells us that I must have the approval of certain people to feel good about myself. This is the lie of the approval addict, which results in fear of rejection.
Many survivors find themselves in the trap of - I must be approved by others to be loved, have worth, and find identity. No matter how young or old we are, we are all just like the little child with the craving for acceptance and the hunger for approval.
We all want to know the following:
- Am I ok?
- Do you see me?
- Is what I have done good enough?
- Do I matter to you?
We all have two things in common:
- The need to be needed
- The need to be known by others
We all wrestle with questions like:
- Do people see me?
- Do people understand me?
This yearning in our hearts is why this episode is so important! We need to remind ourselves that God looks down upon us and says, "I see you, you are needed, you are known, and I am proud of you." We need to let God fill our hunger for approval and be our only source that meets all of our needs.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this first episode of our three-part series, the team covers lie number one from the book Search For Significance. This lie tells us that I must meet specific standards to feel good about myself. This is the lie of perfectionism or the lie that I must perform to be considered worthy.
Many survivors find themselves in the trap of - I must perform a certain way to be loved, have worth, and find your identity. In addition, this way of thinking makes you believe that if I'm successful, I'm good enough or worthy of love. The problem with this mindset is it forces you to focus your attention on yourself or the trajectory of your life against others, making you self-absorbed and focused on all the wrong things. This is a trap that keeps you bound and unproductive. To walk in true freedom, you must believe in who God says Jesus is.
Check out this episode to learn more about who God says Jesus is and what we receive when we believe in Him as our Redeemer.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This month we are starting a four-part series based on the book Search for Significance, which Robert McGhee wrote.
Self-worth is vital, but it's where we find our worth that is the most important. The world will try to tell us where our identity comes from. Most people find self-worth in the outward thing or what they have achieved. But what happens when we fail? Do we still have self-worth, and do we still think we have value? We have to be careful about where we find our identity. We must find our worth in the right place - in God and Him alone.
In this first intro episode, we look at four significant lies people believe about their worth:
- Lie #1 - I must meet specific standards to feel good about myself. This belief results in fear of failure.
- Lie #2 - I must have the approval of certain people to feel good about myself. This belief results in fear of rejection.
- Lie #3 - Those who fail, including me, are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished. This belief results in guilt.
- Lie #4 - I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless. This belief results in shame.
In this series, you'll learn how to find your true identity in Christ rather than looking for it in earthly things or lies that want to deceive us!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, explains the importance of understanding your story - where you've come from, what you've been through, and what you're going through now. We need to understand and wrestle through our stories to find true freedom. We can know our story factually, such as seeing that we've been through sexual abuse. But understanding it and working through the details of it and the effects that it's had on our lives is a whole different story. It's a much bigger thing to understand the facts versus actually understanding the impact of everything in our story. In addition, what is even more important than knowing your story is being able to look for the gospel message in your story.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In episodes 41 - 43, we talked about the lies that survivors believe about themselves and the abuse they experienced that prevents them from healing. In this episode, we get the perspective of our male facilitator, Justin Young, as he shares from the second recording from our men's study called Renew on how these lies have affected his life and journey from healing. Justin's story is highly relatable and inspiring! We hope this episode will encourage you to make yourself a priority and to get the healing you need and deserve!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This month we are wrapping up our three-part series on intimacy. In this last episode, the team looks at three critical barriers to intimacy - compulsive behaviors, need suppression, and unforgiveness. We often use these barriers to readjust or suppress our intimacy needs. Some people run out of ways to fulfill their needs, so they try to make themselves believe that they can live without intimacy. But, that's a lie! We were created to be connected to God and to other people. This episode is for anyone willing to take a hard look inside and ask themselves the honest questions of - do I have unmet needs in my life, and if I do, what could be the root cause of those feelings?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This month we are continuing with our three-part series on intimacy. In this second episode, the team looks at how a critical spirit or judgmental attitude can affect physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. We also talk about three different reasons people avoid intimacy and how those become barriers to genuine closeness with others.
Intimacy involves being open and talking through your thoughts and emotions, being vulnerable, and showing someone else how you feel and your hopes and dreams. Intimacy is built up over time, and it requires patience and effort from everyone involved to create and maintain.
As humans, we all have areas that we need to grow in, and one of those areas for most survivors is creating true intimacy with family, friends, and a partner or spouse. If you are willing to be brave and explore behaviors that need work to achieve genuine intimacy with others, then this episode is for you!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This month we are starting a three-part series on intimacy and how sexual abuse can affect physical, emotional, and spiritual closeness. This episode will build the framework for the rest of the episodes by looking at what intimacy is and not. We will examine some feelings and related behaviors resulting from a lack of intimacy. Survivors often isolate themselves because their need for intimacy is not met. Anytime a personal need is not met, we experience painful feelings.
This episode is for anyone willing to take a hard look inside and ask themselves the honest questions of - do I have unmet needs in my life, and if I do, what could be the root cause of those feelings?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team looks at what sexual abuse is, the importance of terminology, and helping survivors understand its effect on their lives. When it comes to sexual abuse, terminology is fundamental for in healing process. However, if you have never been taught correct terminology, you can wrongly classify your abuse. The hard truth is that you cannot identify what you do not understand.
If you are a survivor, we hope this episode encourages you to share your story with others one day. Some people need to hear your story because your story has the power to give others the courage to face their truths and trauma. Many people will see God through your transparency and boldness!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
As we kick off a new season and year, we wanted to start 2022 with an episode about why a survivor should heal from sexual abuse. In this episode, Nicole Escobar shares her story of abuse and why she is so passionate about the work that Trees of Hope is doing. In this episode, we also share with you the first recording of our new men's study called Renew, that features our dear friend, Justin Young. Justin is a survivor of sexual abuse and our online men's facilitator. Justin's story is highly relatable and inspiring! If you are a survivor, we hope this episode encourages you to make this your year to walk through some form of healing, and we also hope this episode will be the sign you need that now is the time to take back your story and control in this area of your life!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Over the past few months, we have been talking about the false beliefs that victims believe about themselves or the abuse they went through. As a recap, the false beliefs are:
- It's my fault.
- I must have been a terrible person for them to do this to me.
- I wanted them to do this to me.
- It didn't happen! I must have made it up.
Last month we talked about having low self-esteem, which is one of the consequences of believing these false beliefs. The other two consequences that we cover in this episode are - shame and guilt.
Shame and guilt are consequences/outcomes of believing lies about your abuse. When victims believe these lies, they can have feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and undeserved blame for their abuse. All of these can keep you bound, and when you're bound, you cannot fully heal.
We hope this episode encourages you and helps you see the lies about your abuse for what they are - lies!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, Stevie and Nicole cover why a survivor should not reduce or downplay their abuse and the consequences of believing the lie that somehow the abuse was your fault.
Survivors often minimize their sexual abuse. This can be because the person who abused you made you believe that the situation was harmless. But it is so important that despite the messages you heard or the lies you believed, that you should not minimize the crime committed against you.
Often survivors feel that they don’t deserve the respect and love of others. They feel dirty and unwanted. Having these types of feelings, even if they are buried down deep, can leave you with emotions that will prevent you from protecting yourself and set you up to be abused again and again. Maybe even just emotionally.
This episode is crucial for those who struggle with false beliefs and bear the consequences of insecurities. This episode is also for the person who thinks that the abuse they went through many years ago can’t possibly affect their lives now. We hope this episode will help set you free!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Sexual abuse almost always leaves victims with a damaging set of false beliefs about their value and worth. Held as absolute truths, these false ideas create mistaken guilt, destroy self-esteem, and assign undeserved responsibility for what has happened to those who have already suffered devastating emotional and physical trauma. Christians, who are survivors, often struggle with the contrast between what they know to be scriptural truth and the overwhelming emotions they experience due to the abuse. They long to believe all God tells them in the Bible, yet they have difficulty bringing the truth into their hearts and living it out every day. Sexual abuse victims struggle with the following four major false beliefs about the abuse: It’s my fault; I must be a terrible person for them to do this to me; I wanted them to do this to me; it didn’t happen! and I must have made it up. In this episode and the next, we will explore examples and causes of these false beliefs and how a survivor can overcome and be set free from the lies that keep them bound.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode of Not Just a Hashtag, we have a short clip from Kristan Torres, our mental health counselor, on the topic of how to find peace when you are overwhelmed with anxiety. The reality is that anxiety is real and common. We all face anxiety. For some people anxiety is a nuisance, for others, it causes distress, while for others it can be debilitating. But what does the Bible have to say about anxiety? In this episode, Kristan takes a closer look at what anxiety is, where it comes from, and how we can find peace in the Psalms to help us overcome! We hope you enjoy it.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, we have special guest, Stevie Estler, founder of Built by Stevie join us. Stevie is a South Florida native and now lives in Nashville where she runs her all-female run carpentry business. Stevie tells her story of sexual abuse, healing, and how her journey has created a passion in herself to see other people set free. She details the hurdles she struggled with, how she overcame enormous odds and inspired listeners never to let themselves be silenced or defined by their victimization experiences.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, Mental Health Counselor of Hope Christian Counseling, Kristan Torres, and the Director of Trees of Hope, Nicole Escobar, talk about how to let go of feelings of shame and guilt associated with being sexually abused. Shame is a natural response to feeling uncovered or exposed. During the abuse, your body was probably uncovered, but there was also the uncovering of your mind. Your sense of innocence was destroyed and trust was lost. Innocence and trust must be restored. Survivors of abuse are left with frustrated hopes and plans. Dreams for having a healthy relationship with a father, a mate, a mother, a brother, or a child have been demolished. The abuse leaves victims believing that they are insignificant, of no account, no good. As you become aware of and overcome shame messages, these messages will have less power over you. In this episode, we give nine tips to overcome shame and how to replace it with strong connections with genuine people and empathy for yourself.
Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Victims of sexual abuse experience severe violations of personal boundaries. Consequently, anger and anger management problems are common for survivors. We often fear anger or try to avoid it because of its perceived destructive effects, but it is possible to be angry about the effects that sexual abuse has had on your life and not let that anger control your life. In this episode, Mental Health Counselor of Hope Christian Counseling, Kristan Torres, and the Director of Trees of Hope, Nicole Escobar, take a look at how you can use anger to fuel your healing journey. The team also looks at the purpose of confronting your abuse and perpetrator, either in-person or through a simulated outlet, in order to release your feelings of hurt and anger.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Everyone has an inner child but not everyone associates childhood with fun and playfulness. If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, your inner child might seem small, vulnerable, and in need of protection. You may have buried the pain of your abuse through avoidance or allowed it to surface through anger. You may have done this to protect yourself — both your present self and the child you once were. Hiding pain doesn’t heal it. Instead, it often surfaces in your adult life, showing up as issues in personal relationships or difficulty meeting your own needs. Working to heal your inner child can help you address some of these issues. Healing your inner child can take time, patience and a willingness to go back to the traumatic event. In this episode, we provide five tips that can help you connect with your inner child to start your healing journey! Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this two-part series of "Not Just a Hashtag," Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres look at the stages of healing from sexual abuse such as the emergency stage, the remembering stage, the decision to heal stage, the believing it happened stage, and breaking the silence stage. The importance of knowing the effects that sexual abuse has had on a survivor’s life is a key step in the healing process. In order to heal deeply, a survivor must choose to heal and must be willing to change. Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Are you ready to heal from sexual abuse but don’t know where to start? Does change seem scary to you? If you are ready to begin the healing journey, what are some barriers that could prevent you from healing? In this episode of "Not Just a Hashtag," Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres look at elements of change, the stages of change, and ways to work through each stage so you can achieve your goal of beginning the healing journey. When it comes to healing from sexual abuse, there is no single solution that works for everyone. So do what’s best for you and don’t give up the fight! Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode of “Not just a Hashtag,” Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres connect hope and healing from sexual abuse into everyday life. Have you been sexually abused and want to know what healing looks like? Do you need a release from the inappropriate shame or freedom from feeling unworthy? In this episode, we will look at the importance of walking through healing from sexual abuse, what it looks like, and where you can begin. However, you define healing, or whatever reason you find yourself here, we want you to feel supported and encouraged as you follow the path to healing and begin to regain control of your life. Disclaimer: Please keep in mind what we say in this podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute or take the place of advice from your doctor or therapist. If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Sexual harassment and sexual assault are happening in our schools. It begins in elementary schools and occurs with alarming frequency in middle and high schools. Both girls and boys are victimized. What’s even worse is schools often believe they can protect themselves against legal action and bad press by simply denying or ignoring sexual abuse. In this episode, Nicole and Holly take a look at the prevalence of sexual abuse in schools, where it happens, laws and legal concerns for schools, reporting issues, and what we can do with parental involvement to prevent sexual abuse from happening. If you are a parent with a child in school, you don’t want to miss this episode.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In episode, host Nicole Escobar is joined by Victims Advocate, Holly, from Victim Services in Palm Beach. Together they take an honest look at the newly released Netflix movie, Cuties. Besides the apparent over-sexualization of young girls, the team looks at how this movie can be used as a tool to teach parents on how to prevent sexual abuse! Boundaries are a vital part of teaching the younger generation about self-worth, self-respect, and self-protection through a clear understanding of what constitutes appropriate vs. inappropriate behavior. How can we teach our children to feel empowered to protect themselves when they see a clear violation of body safety boundaries in the media? Films like Cuties, songs like Cardi B’s “WAP,” and so many other examples in today’s culture are driving the standard of acceptable content and sexual behavior lower and lower. If you are concerned about how to start the conversation with your child or teen on body safety and body empowerment, then this is the episode for you!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Our thoughts are powerful! Most of us know this. But many times, we continue with the same thinking patterns even though they get us frustrated, discouraged and sometimes feeling stuck. Join Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, as we show you some dysfunctional patterns of thinking and then some ways to combat or change these patterns so you can get unstuck, and start thinking thoughts that are more accurate and truthful about yourself and your life. What a difference this can make.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team looks at the eye-opening statistic that 66% of sexual abuse cases go completely unreported. Often, the victim fears the perpetrator, or they are embarrassed and ashamed and believe the lie that what happened was their fault. In addition, many victims do not view their abuse as a crime and fear that law enforcement will not do anything to help them. Many survivors report these feelings, while those who were sexually abused by a family member or a trusted individual - a teacher, pastor, a coach, or other leader - struggle with strong mixed emotions and may be confused about how they feel towards their abuser. Many survivors do not know that, even if they did not report the abuse when it first happened (no matter the reason), they still have options to report it weeks, months or years later. Dig with us in this episode into the importance of identifying and reporting abuse as an important step on the healing journey.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, Kristan, our mental health counselor, helps us understand depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. It is one thing to deal with normal life stress, but when you add in a pandemic, interruption to daily life, and a loss of income, anxiety may not be far behind. Anxiety can be summed up as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome — and that’s exactly what we’re dealing with when it comes to COVID-19 and the civil unrest in our nation. If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, this episode is for you!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This week the team looks at ways to help you move forward successfully on your healing journey. Life sometimes doesn’t go as planned - plans change, pandemics happen, injustices spark something in us that cannot be silenced. It’s been well said that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Having the right reactions lead to happiness and the wrong reactions lead to anxiety, worry, and fear. In this episode, the team covers 7 practical steps to live a happier life, which include taking walks, acts of kindness, and having a heart of gratitude. And while good habits can lead to a happier life, the team points to the ultimate giver of peace and joy. When your worldview gets clouded by trials, anxiety, and fears where do you turn?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In “normal” times, the prevalence of sexual assault in our society is astoundingly high. We know that at some point in their lifetimes, one in three girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused. Yet, despite the numbers, sexual abuse is known to be the single most under-reported crime in the United States and throughout the world. Only 12 percent of child sexual abuse is ever reported to the authorities. During and following a pandemic like COVID-19, it is likely that there is an increase in the perpetration of sexual assaults, but a decrease in reporting even more than during times when conditions for reporting are optimal. In this episode, the team discusses how a pandemic can increase vulnerabilities in children and the elderly, as well as intimate partner violence. Although the problem is very real, the team provides you with practical ways that you can help these vulnerable people groups. You can be someone's shelter in the midst of the storm.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team discusses life, wisdom, and what they have learned during COVID-19. They also tackle how important it is to have inner strength when life feels uncertain. What does inner strength look like for you? The systems we create enable habits that support our goals and create inner strength. If you have a goal of healing from sexual abuse, you don’t want to miss this episode!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, we have special guest Holly Carotenuto, who is a Sexual Assault Outreach Coordinator at the Palm Beach County Victim Services. She shares with us about the Start By Believing Campaign, which is a public awareness campaign launched by End Violence Against Women International in April 2011. It was created to end the cycle of silence and change the way society responds to sexual assault. Start by Believing reaches friends and family members, as well as professionals who interact with sexual assault survivors. You don't want to miss this eye-opening episode that tackles how changing the response to a disclosure of sexual assault/abuse by expressing belief and support, rather than doubt, shame, or blame can change the trajectory of a victims life.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team looks at why survivors need a personal mission statement and how powerful writing one can be to give your life purpose and direction. You don’t have to be in a leadership role for this info to apply to you. Actually, we are all leaders in some way. Leadership doesn’t mean a title, it simply means being a person of influence. If you are a survivor, you have the great opportunity to educate parents or other adults on how to prevent sexual abuse from happening to their families. You also are a voice for other survivors who haven’t found their voice yet. These two roles are the greatest responsibilities we as survivors have.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team dispells several sexual abuse myths that are toxic and victim-blaming. Once a survivor is able to see that the lies they have believed about their sexual abuse, their role, and their abuser, a survivor will be better prepared to appropriate the blame off themselves and onto their abuser. No matter what they said about you, how your body responded, or what you told yourself after the abuse, the team here to encourage you that it was never your fault! Knowing the truth about this type of traumatic experience is the first step to finding freedom. Separating myths from facts is critical to stopping sexual abuse and for a survivor to get the proper healing they need.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
The team is back and joined with a new co-host, mental health counselor, Holly Fregin! In this first episode of season 2, the team looks at how to find joy in the midst of pain. Living as a survivor of sexual abuse can be emotionally confusing, and many struggle with the pain for the rest of their lives. But you don't have to stay that way! In this episode, the team explains the different hurdles they have faced all while learning to overcome and inspiring others to press on. You don't want to miss this first episode of the season that is packed with vulnerability, practical applications, and ways to thrive through the pain.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team looks at what an influencer is. Culture teaches us that if you have a large following on social media, you started a movement or you have a big platform, that you are a person of influence. The true and lasting influence we will have on this world is people and their stories. It will never be a platform or a movement. Although those are all wonderful things, it will be the people within those things that matter most. You have no idea how one conversation, one word of encouragement, one moment in time, one generous expression of love, or one simple “I believe you” “I am here for you” can change someone’s life. Over the past 18 episodes, the team has worked hard to teach you how to begin the healing journey and now we want to encourage you to be a person of influence by sharing your story. You don’t have to have it all together, have the right words or even tell every detail. To be an influencer, you just have to be willing. Are you willing?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the team jumps into the fifth and final installment of looking at dysfunctional families and how they affect a survivor from healing from sexual abuse. Children in dysfunctional families develop survival roles. These roles are either assigned by the family or unconsciously chosen by the child. A few examples are: Scapegoat—usually blamed for family problems; Hero—works hard to bring respect to the family name; Surrogate Spouse—often takes the place of the emotionally absent spouse and becomes the child counselor for a troubled adult parent; Lost child—never gets in the way or causes trouble because this family already has enough problems; Surrogate parent—takes over responsibility of parenting tasks; Clown—avoids the pain by being the center of attention. When you think about healing from sexual abuse, it’s important to know what effect your role(s) in the family had/have upon how you coped with being sexual abuse.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, the ladies dive into the second part of the three-part series on common characteristics of a dysfunctional family. Many families transmit messages that say, “Don’t express your feelings. Don’t cry. Don’t get upset. Don’t get angry. Don’t ever tell any outsiders any family secrets because that is betraying the family.” A healthy family permits and models on how to express emotions. In a dysfunctional family, certain or all emotions are forbidden. These unspoken messages or directly stated messages affect your recovery. The team wants to help you understand how your past affects your healing from sexual abuse. As you better understand your family, you will better understand yourself and your reactions.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
The team starts another three-part series! In this episode, they discuss two common characteristics of a dysfunctional family. No family is perfect, and the girls want to help you identify unhealthy patterns in your family relationships that are keeping you from thriving.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
We have a special guest this week, Holly Freggin, a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in eating disorders and recovery. She shares with us her own personal journey with an eating disorder, choosing recovery, and the easily misunderstood link between sexual abuse and eating disorders.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This is the third and final part of a three-part series! The crew discusses how denial may have helped them cope, but ultimately harmed them when it caused them to ignore problems for which there were solutions. Let’s stop denying reality, and live presently and honestly!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
This episode is the second installment of a three-part series that challenges survivors to confront common issues. The team examines the specific ways in which you were betrayed when you were sexually abused and the people who may have played an inadvertent part in betraying you.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
The team starts a three-part series that challenges listeners to confront common issues that survivors can face and starts off with this episode on misplaced responsibility. First and foremost, all survivors must give total responsibility for the abuse to the perpetrator of the abuse and the ladies cover the importance of doing this as soon as possible on your healing journey.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Special guest and long-time volunteer with our nonprofit, Sue Koegel shares about her longterm abuse growing up, why she finally chose to heal, and how she’s used her story to connect with others and help them change their own stories. Sue explains the different hurdles she faced and overcame and inspires listeners to never think it’s too late to heal, change, or make notable positive impacts on the lives around them.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
In this episode, we have two very special guests: Nicole and Anisa’s husbands, Rafael Escobar and David Mellinger. Raf and David answer tough questions revolving around what it’s like to be married to a survivor of sexual abuse. They go over how they handle triggers, how they celebrate recovery and progress, and what love looks like in the midst of a lifelong journey.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Going off of the last episode, the girls discuss the potential consequences of living in the warped reality false beliefs can give you. The most common repercussions of believing lies about yourself or your abuse are low self-esteem, guilt, self-blame, and shame. Where you can find hope though is in the truth that these false beliefs are all learned and can, therefore, be unlearned. You can begin to correct these beliefs and stop their effects!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
The team wants you to be able to recognize and learn to replace any false beliefs you have about yourself and your abuse. The experience of being sexually abused almost always leaves victims with a damaging set of false beliefs about their value and worth and ultimately complicate true, total recovery.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Special guest, Dee Proietto who founded our nonprofit, Trees of Hope, tells her story of sexual abuse, healing, and how she has made an impact that she could have never anticipated. She details the hurdles she struggled with, how she overcame enormous odds, and she inspires listeners to never let themselves be silenced or defined by their experiences of victimization.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Nicole, Anisa, and Myriah go over what never to say to a victim of sexual abuse regardless of it maybe being well-intentioned. They then go over ways to encourage, support and speak to survivors. They share some of the negative and positive things that have been said to them and how to best respond. In this, they also hope to show sexual abuse survivors that they identify with them even in interactions with others.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
The team discusses the typical emotional, physical, and sexual symptoms that a survivor of sexual abuse can experience. They share some of the symptoms they personally struggled with, being on the other side of the symptoms, and the reality of being triggered even after being on the journey to healing and wholeness.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Special guest Desmond Foong from Broward County’s only Certified Rape Crisis & Accredited Children’s Advocacy Center answers questions on what your next steps should/could be if you are a victim of sexual abuse. He goes into the immediate services available, forensic medical examinations, reporting, counseling, and statistics.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Maybe you’ve decided you’re ready to share your story of what happened to you. The team expounds on what exactly makes a person safe or unsafe when it comes to sharing your story of sexual abuse. They give characteristics of a safe person, examples of who that might be, and what you should share when you do disclose information.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
The team gets into the importance of knowing, understanding, and sharing your own story. If you have never been taught correct terminology, you can wrongly classify your abuse. You will never be able to do justice to your story or heal if you don’t fully understand it. Not only is it important that a survivor know their story, but it’s just as important for them to find the courage to speak out about what happened to them.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support
Nicole, Anisa, Kristan, and Myriah give a little background information on themselves, their stories, and why they’re so passionate about discussing sexual abuse prevention and healing.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/notjustahashtag/support