How to Stop Looking at Porn: Recent Episodes

Danny Poelman

Podcast by Danny Poelman

Bryan tells us how he uses Life Coaching vehicle to go from:

exhausted, worn out, depressed

to

Empowered, feelings-literate, kinder to self, more positive home-life/relationships, looking forward to things more, healing his mind

He says he looks forward to coaching calls, gains more energy and efficiency in life by taking time to do it, and says

"Coaching on the mindset around dread/procrastination of doing patient charts affected 5 other areas of my life that week too."

Tune in to get inspired by what Bryan created for himself.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of neuroplasticity—the brain's remarkable ability to change and adapt.

Join life coach Danny Poelman as he shares personal insights and scientific research on how believing in your brain's capacity for change can help you break free from old habits, heal from trauma, and achieve your goals.

Tune in for 5 actionable steps to start rewiring your mind today.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

In this inspiring episode, Danny Poelman sits down with Art Hock, a former client turned thriving coach, who shares his incredible journey of overcoming deep-rooted habits and finding true empowerment.

Art opens up about his struggles with people-pleasing and a phone sex addiction, amongst other things.

At first, he wasn't sure Danny would work well with a "gay man." Art realized quickly after a discovery Zoom call, that Danny absolutely has room for all of him.

Through the coaching process, Art was able to completely transform his mindset, embrace his authentic self, and reignite his passion for life.

Tune in to discover how you can tackle your own unwanted habits and step into a future filled with power, clarity, and fearlessness. This is an episode you don't want to miss!

if you're interested in Art as a career coach, whether or not you're an academic, email him at apattonh@gmail.com and say you heard him on Danny's podcast and want to learn more
if you're curious to learn more about Art as a career coach for academics, check out https://arthurpattonhock.com/

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Lessons from Camren Harris's story.

Rather than only focus on changing porn habit, Camren found it helpful to say, "Let's build Camren into who he wants to be." And that's what took care of the porn habit.

Rather than focus on trying to find the "right" way, find what works for Camren.

How he turned an unwanted habit from a "monster" to "an ant I can flick off my shoulder."

How he saved his marriage.

Camren is a Mindset Coach for Young Professionals, find him on Instagram: @camrenharris

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

In this insightful episode, we delve into the often complicated relationship with money.

Discover how familiar patterns from other areas of life can simplify your financial journey, the profound impact of belief on financial success, and the detrimental effects of self-deprecation.

We challenge the myth that making money has to be a grind and discuss the importance of self-forgiveness in achieving financial freedom.

Learn practical steps to cultivate a healthy and empowering money mindset.

Tune in and start transforming your financial life today!

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

In this episode, host Danny Poelman explores the critical connection between feeling safe around money and achieving financial success.

Learn how your thoughts and feelings about money impact your financial results and discover practical strategies to reduce money-related stress. Danny shares effective exercises to reprogram your brain for financial abundance and build a positive, empowering relationship with money.

👉 Tune in now to transform your money mindset and start feeling safe around money.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

To change a habit, you need to optimize learning in your brain.

To optimize you need to stop bringing so much heaviness, shame, and self-judgment and start bringing more fun and playfulness.

Danny is giving you permission to have fun while learning to do life porn-free. Even though you already had it.

A few ChatGPT jokes about quitting a porn habit.

Common ways seen with clients that make it not fun.

Practices/strategies to make it more fun starting now.

Listen to full episode now. And click below now for access to this high-value, high-impact free video training.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Don’t be so afraid of getting stuck in wallowing, or victim-mode, that you stay even more stuck avoiding your feelings, or wounds.

The world has trained many of us to avoid feeling our uncomfortable feelings. To think something has gone wrong if negative feelings are there for “too long.”

As if there is some “right” or “wrong” way to do feelings.

There is no right or wrong way to do feelings.

We’re going to talk about real concepts that come up regularly with real clients, that are common stumbling blocks for people wanting to train their brain out of a porn habit.

And how you might be so concerned with not being stuck as a victim (or stuck in wallowing), that you actually might be staying stuck longer. Doing it the slower way.

How to not stay stuck. How to address the real issues within you more powerfully and efficiently.

Listen to full episode now. And click below now for access to this high-value, high-impact free video training.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

When you know the real actual problem, you can address the real actual issue, which will allow you to create real, actual, lasting change.

This is a sneak peek into Danny's new Free Video Training that he created for YOU. The Fearless Freedom From Pornography Training: How to Achieve Ultimate Victory Over Porn.

Porn is not the actual problem in an unwanted porn habit. In the training, Danny goes through the 6 Real Actual Problems behind an unwanted porn habit. In this podcast episode, Danny goes through 2 of those Real Actual Problems.

Listen to full episode now. And click below now for access to this high-value, high-impact free video training.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Hear how Mike Beatty 10x-ed his results compared to previous coaches/therapists/methods he had tried.

Live interview with past client.

Learn from what worked and didn't' work for Mike. How he created tremendous new success.

START WITH THIS: Access Free Webinar Training (click here)

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

How to Release Worry & Achieve Goals More Powerfully (with an Exercise You Can Try while reading)
Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation by clicking here: Work With Me

Discover practical mindset shifts to reduce pornography cravings and hear Michael's inspiring journey of breaking free from the habit for good.

Whether you're struggling yourself or curious about the topic, this episode offers valuable insights and real-life client examples for lasting change.

Tune in now to explore some empowering new mindset shifts and reclaim control over your impulses.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

If you failed recently in your effort to quit a porn habit, and
you’re telling yourself “Nothing I do will make a difference.”
“What I do won’t matter anyway.”
Then you need to listen to this podcast episode now.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

So much of unwanted porn use has to do with escaping feelings. But which feelings?

The difference between emotions and an actual stress response.

Emotions vs. Physical Sensations

Trauma vs Stress Response

Healing/Processing From Trauma Happens

The 4 F’s and How Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn Might Show Up For You

4 F’s Sometimes Helpful and Sometimes Not.

Some of the less helpful ways stress responses show up.

How to implement this information.

How to Apply This Information to an unwanted Porn Habit.

Next steps.

Oh, and by the way, More Love is never a bad option. Spread the love.

Listen to full episode now wherever you get podcasts.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

The following topics help to understand Why Your Brain Overdesires Pornography:
-Motivational triad
-Upper brain and lower brain
-False pleasures vs. natural pleasures

Why it’s important to use upper brain more skillfully for decisions around false pleasures (like pornography).

If you find yourself in a hurry with your goals to quit porn for good, it probably means 1 of 2 things. And is this really helping?
What I tell clients is that you don’t have a “porn problem” you have a thought problem. How to avoid the unhelpful trap of searching for the “right,” or “correct,” way of thinking.

Click link in bio now to listen to full episode number 51.

Listen to full episode now wherever you get podcasts.

Podcast Title: How to Stop Looking at Porn and Win Back Your Freedom, with Danny Poelman

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

If you stopped measuring your progress toward quitting porn for good based on when you last looked at porn, what would you measure instead?

In today's episode, we discuss an example of a process that will help you to:

-measure progress more accurately
-learn more effectively
-accelerate your progress (toward quitting a porn habit for good)

Example from a real client session.

How to go from shame, self-judgment, and self-punishment to self-compassion, curiosity, science.

What questions to ask yourself.

What kinds of things to measure.

Some pro tips to help you in this process.

Tune in now to get the scoop.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

To experience more love, freedom, and empowerment, listen to this episode.

If you are not into those things (love/freedom/empowerment), tune out now. This episode is not for you.

Reminder: Steer clear of teachers who say they know better for you than you and who foster a continual dependence on them to know what’s best for you.

We are talking real client examples today.

What kind of self-talk actually helps you to reach your goals?

What to do when people around you talk to you in unhelpful ways for you to reach your goals (including 3 specific strategies).

You deserve to be spoken to, by yourself and others, in a way that starts from a place of worthiness, love, empowerment, belief.

Start speaking to yourself the way you deserve NOW. And give yourself grace as you practice, of course.

You are WORTH IT.

Questions to answer for yourself:

-What kind of self-talk is getting in the way of you learning to do life porn-free? (Watch out for shame-producing thoughts)
-What kind of self-talk actually helps you to learn, progress, and grow?
-Which people that you are around, make it easier to have the self-talk you want to have with yourself after being around them?
-Which people make it harder? (Even if you’d least expect it, blind spots)

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

After listening to this episode, you will know better:

-what is creating your current unwanted results
-what it takes to create new/wanted results
-the difference between the Automatic brain vs. the intellectual part of your brain, with a wild stallion analogy to make it clear
-How to make sure your actually retraining your automatic brain and not just playing around in intellectual land

Tune in now and listen to full episode.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

This week's episode gets more specific about what it is that makes coaching work (to give you ideas what you can aim for even if you don't plan to hire a coach).

Also, I'm betting more of you will want to hire a coach after hearing this.

And we dive into a client example to demonstrate a more effective way of managing thoughts around masturbating to porn.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Sharing client success stories, including a client saying "Nothing works quite as well as this." And trying to make it more clear what "THIS" actually is.

Some of Danny's philosophies on coaching that he uses because it just works.

A yoga analogy to describe what it takes to go through a process that works.

No matter how long you've had a porn habit, or how old you are, it is never too late to change your brain. Examples of this.

People often overestimate what they can accomplish from a few sessions of practice and underestimate what they will accomplish if they keep showing up to practice regularly for 1, 3, or 6 months. The results can be shocking.

Are you doing more consuming of awesome information or applying (acting on) of awesome information? Why this question is crucial.

Why this coaching process really shines when it comes to acting on/implementing awesome information into your life in a sustainable way.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Real client example today.

He thought the problem was that he just "really finds naked women attractive to look at."

I asked him why.

His response revealed 4 things that are the real issues. Once we address these 4 things, suddenly it's no longer a problem that he finds naked women attractive to look at.

Quitting porn for good in a sex-positive way means we don't make it a problem that we are sexual beings, with sexual ideas/thoughts/feelings along the way.

Instead, we reprogram our brains to reduce desire for viewing these pixels on a screen. All while embracing our sexuality in a way that allows us to feel great about ourselves.

Because the truth is, you are already whole and complete, as you are. You are already worthy.

Let's just learn to use your brain in a more skillful way that allows you to live life in line with your values.

Tune in to today's episode now to learn some new skills for retraining your own brain.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

“One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” -Bruce Lee

“Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away.” -Antoine de Sainte Exulpery, Pioneer of international postal flight, and author of Le Petit Prince (the little prince)

“It is vain to do with more what can be done with less.” - William of Occam, originator of Occam’s razor

A lot of the guys who come to me for help, are smart, driven guys. They try hard. laziness is not their problem.

A lot of them are very productive guys, or at least strive for productivity.

The hustle and the value of productivity aren’t bad, but the way they are expressed can get in the way of you learning to quit porn for good.

Remember, it’s not a porn problem, but a mind management problem.

Don’t try to solve your porn problem by starting with eliminating pleasure and self-care. It doesn’t work.

Busy-ness is one of the best things to start by eliminating.

Watch out for time-filling, in the name of productivity.

Become results focused. Learn to eliminate any time fillers that are doing nothing to create the results you want.

Learn to say no to others and treat that time you spend with yourself working on this as sacred. Your most important relationship is with yourself.

You may need to say no to spending your money on something, in order to direct it toward investing in the help that gets you the results you want.

What can you eliminate from your life, in a way that both simplifies, and enhances your ability to create the changes/results you want?

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

One of the lessons being that quitting a porn habit doesn’t have to be a big, hard, dark, serious thing.

It can actually be fun, easy, light, humorous and completely doable.

Tune into the How to Stop Looking at Porn podcast, with Danny Poelman, now to hear what other lessons were uncovered in this real life coaching session.
Available wherever you get your podcasts.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

To make decisions powerfully (which is required to learn to quit porn for good), understanding these 4 parts of you that come up in decision-making will make all the difference.

We are talking about these 4 parts:

-Lower brain

-Upper brain

-Intuition (body)

-Consciousness (you), awareness, power to exercise agency, or will

When you understand the strengths and weaknesses of the parts of your brain, and learn to become aware of which parts are doing what, you will be enabled to make decisions even more powerfully.

Listen to the full episode now (wherever you get your podcasts) and access more power within you right away.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Most people trying to quit a pornography habit for good do it by trying to avoid situations where they may have access to porn or be triggered to have urges to view it.

It's time to understand why you should go toward those triggers (and access) for pornography.

But only if you want to experience true freedom from this thing called "pornography."

Tune in to this episode now to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

How do you approach a problem if you don’t believe there is a solution to it?

How to recognize this mentality and the different forms it might show up in.

Why Voldemort wanted the Horcruxes to remain a secret.

Addressing the roots of the weed rather than just continually cutting the top off, only to find it growing back again and again.

What happens when we really clear out these limiting beliefs and lean into believing a solution exists, and staying engaged with solving it.

The solution is more readily available than you think it is. Is more doable, more easy, more fun, and more energizing than you might realize.

How to identify clear next steps for you to implement a powerful mindset shift, leading to actual solutions.

Your KNOWING is the key.

The solution is available now.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

What chains are we breaking today?

The message “I’m bad.” Where does this come from?

Does it help to think this way?

What helps create forward movement for you?

In this episode, I’m talking about a message that, if you are like a lot of us, you have probably internalized (whether on purpose or not).

And it just might be holding you back.

A couple client examples of transformation/possibility.

Some personal experiences of mine.

An invitation for you to up level your life in this way, using this lesson, starting today.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Many of us have learned that more shame and self-punishment is what is required to create more power/motivation to change our habits.

The truth is, less shame helps us to access even more power/motivation to change our habits.

Why do we do this?

How do we start picking up on our unconscious patterns?

How do we make it easier to access more of your already-existing power to change your habits sustainably. In a way that lasts.

Also, Danny vs. A.I.. Danny shares a secret about his new book release, what it took to make it, and something surprising he learned about the advice A.I. has for quitting a porn habit for good.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

I teach guys powerful, useable, practical, hands-on tools for managing their mind.

Some of those tools include:

-Thought Work
-the Self-Coaching Model
-Impulse Shifting

Why is managing your mind important?

Because thoughts create results.

A lot of my clients first learn about these powerful mind-management tools because they have a porn habit that they want to quit, once and for all - FOR GOOD.

So they practice with the mind-management tools and see that it helps (very effectively) with their initial problem.

Sometimes, they begin to attach the “need” for using these tools to whether or not they looked at porn recently.

This can be problematic. Why?

For a few reasons that we are discussing in this episode. Tune in now.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Past client updates me, saying:

“I am very satisfied with the progress I've made and continue to make. Urges are way down, short lived, and manageable.”

Why can habitual behavior around porn feel so automatic?

Your lower brain wants to avoid pain, seek pleasure, and be energy efficient.

One of the ways your lower brain is energy efficient is by automating patterns that bring you a big dopamine hit (pleasure).

It does this by skipping steps for you, and by repeating patterns it has already practiced a lot.

Until you have rewired your brain to the point that your porn habit patterns have faded completely, if left unguided, your lower brain will drift toward porn a percentage of the time.

It’s important to guide your lower brain with your upper brain (prefrontal cortex) when it comes to decisions about porn.

Also, tracing back when the decision to look at porn actually occurred, will clarify your power, and give you more power to change your patterns going forward.

Listen to this podcast now to learn how to start doing this.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Common ways we have learned to interact with feelings that make it harder to quit a porn habit.

The difference between avoiding, resisting, and reacting to emotions.

What it means to allow and process a feeling (a skill required to sustainably quit pornography).

How to start identifying some of your less helpful patterns around feeling your feelings/urges.

Some questions to help you start identifying your learned patterns.

Sample thoughts that are helpful to think while feeling your feelings.

Signs you are resisting and urge vs allowing.

Along with some other favorite/recommended tools and resources.

Allowing and processing feelings/urges is something you can do.

This is a built in capability that has been trained out of us.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Did you know people hire Danny for General Life Coaching? Not just for quitting pornography?

Bruce is a high-achieving, successful, powerful guy in many ways, but was feeling disempowered when it came to relationships, creating space for himself, having boundaries, and saying “no” to loved ones.

He shares some of his journey to becoming more empowered in his approach to relationships.

He now does it in a way that allows him to feel free and to live life on his terms AND benefit those he loves at the same time.

“I’m living the life that I want,” he says.

And he’s here to share with you some of the wisdom he learned along the way, as well as inspire you with the new results he has created for himself.

We touch on the benefits of General Life Coaching.

As well as the difference between therapy and coaching (Bruce has been using both at the same time).

Why Bruce now is training to become a life coach himself.

And why he keeps hiring Danny to help him along the way to his goals.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Instead of the typical self-judgment many guys use when interacting with one of their urges for viewing porn, try this more neutral approach. A concept called "sexual relevance."

Also, a real client example of someone learning to interact with their urges in a more empowering way. A way that actually allows for change and retraining his brain to not want porn.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Ben, who is single and an entrepreneur, shares with us how he went from:

-a porn habit
-some hangups about his past
-shame
-fear
-lack of confidence

TO

Total self-control with Porn
Healing his past
Releasing shame and fear
Confidence in all aspects of his life
Making life so good that porn becomes irrelevant

Our hope is that Ben's story will inspire you to set your sights high, and never give up on your goals that you believe, or hope, are possible for you. Helping you to create an authentic drive to move forward toward your next steps of creating a porn-free life for you.

Ben shares some of the things that helped him to experience breakthroughs every single week we had a call together, and many more breakthroughs in the year since we stopped working together, including doubling his salary in his business.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me
Website: https://www.dannypoelman.com

Danny's pissed today. But it's a Love-Anger. He's glad to be angry about this.

Stop slowing your success with this limiting belief. Stop creating unnecessary suffering for yourself.

A more efficient way.

You deserve better.

More ease with success is allowed.

Listen to the full episode now!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, Danny discusses common pitfalls guys run into with the way they are directing their willpower energy when it comes to quitting a porn habit. He covers topics such as:
-over-reliance on external locus of control
-inefficient uses of willpower energy when focusing on your internal locus of control
-willpower is a limited resource
-if not all toward fighting directly against the urges/cravings, where to direct your willpower energy

And he even gives you a strategy you can start experimenting with that will not only conserve more willpower energy for those times you really need it, but also improve the quality of your day to day life in general. Leaving you with more energy to focus on the things you love.

Listen to the full episode now!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, Danny interviews past client, Justin Mathews. Justin shares how he went from "stuck" every day to living life porn free and totally in control. It hasn't only helped him leave a porn habit behind, but has transformed him in other areas of his life as well. Even his friends and family have said, "there's something different about you."

Listen to the full episode now!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny shares a client win in his chain breaker program as well as methods and lessons he's learned and used to move forward from being results driven, to process driven for a more sustainable path to healing and growth.

Listen to the full episode now!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, host Danny Poelman talks about absolute expectations and letting go of the How Hungry mentality. He talks about the benefits of finding a system that works for you when trying to reach and goal, and staying committed to the process instead of the outcome.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, Lindsay Poelman, life coach that focuses on trauma informed coaching methods, dealing with pornography from a woman's perspective, feminism for Christians, and Danny's wife talks about her story and perspective of learning and growing from Danny's porn use.

She talks about self advocacy, understanding accountability, and most importantly, showing up for yourself and your partner with grace.

Listen to the full episode to learn more and share with someone you think may benefit from this information.

Learn more about Lindsay and her work by checking out her website and instagram.

Website: https://www.lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindsaypoelmancoaching/

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman shares wins, successes, and lessons learned from his clients, along with methods and strategies to find the best path of healing for you. He also talks about the need to slow down to move forward and speed up the healing process and what that means and is required from you.

Listen to the full episode now.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman shares wins, successes, and lessons learned from his clients, along with methods and strategies to find the best path of healing for you. He also talks about the need to slow down to move forward and speed up the healing process and what that means and is required from you.

Listen to the full episode now.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

You are worth not giving up on. I hope that this story about the impossible inspires you to do the impossible things.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

You are worth not giving up on. I hope that this story about the impossible inspires you to do the impossible things.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman shares 3 inspiring real life stories of guys you might be able to relate to who felt stuck and were looking for ways to empower themselves or change their habits.

His discusses honesty, vulnerability, how to consciously choose, why it's important to prioritizing your health and well being, and dispel shame about pornography.

It's ok to be not ok and knowing that you are enough is one of the key pillars in growth and and healing. This is something many of his clients realized and talk about when discussing their personal journeys.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman discusses some lessons and thoughts that come up during his group coaching calls with his clients. He celebrates the wins, shares the difficulties that came up, and proves that companionship in your growth journey can be a powerful tool for change.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman discusses some lessons and thoughts that come up during his group coaching calls with his clients. He celebrates the wins, shares the difficulties that came up, and proves that companionship in your growth journey can be a powerful tool for change.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman discusses some lessons and thoughts that come up during his coaching calls with his clients. He discusses the importance of committing with freedom, with choice, without fear. He talks about the importance of recognizing why it is you feel bad when you watch porn and how to work around those negative emotions.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman, talks about the lessons he's learned from his new dog about quitting porn and fighting urges. When we are first learning to quit porn, or anything really, like unhealthy food habits, or alcohol, etc. we give in to our urges. It is our lower brain that pushes us to follow through with those urges.

We need to be better about activating our upper brain and being in control of those urges. Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode your host Danny Poelman, talks about the lessons he's learned from his new dog about quitting porn and fighting urges. When we are first learning to quit porn, or anything really, like unhealthy food habits, or alcohol, etc. we give in to our urges. It is our lower brain that pushes us to follow through with those urges.

We need to be better about activating our upper brain and being in control of those urges. Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, your host Danny Poelman discusses the importance of decision making and why deciding when you will make a commitment is imperative to the success of your journey. The brain uses up a lot of energy just thinking about what decision it needs to make, and by pondering on your commitment to change for too long you may fatigue your brain.

Listen to the full episode to learn more about why making a commitment to yourself in a timely manner is helpful to your overall journey and how you can start integrating this into your practice.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, your host Danny Poelman discusses the importance of decision making and why deciding when you will make a commitment is imperative to the success of your journey. The brain uses up a lot of energy just thinking about what decision it needs to make, and by pondering on your commitment to change for too long you may fatigue your brain.

Listen to the full episode to learn more about why making a commitment to yourself in a timely manner is helpful to your overall journey and how you can start integrating this into your practice.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, your host Danny Poelman talks about the chain breaker process, his new group coaching program, and how that has helped the people who joined.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman shares lessons learned from his client Ben, and the successes he has experienced. It's an episode to celebrate wins and to show that coaching really does work.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman shares lessons learned from his client Ben, and the successes he has experienced. It's an episode to celebrate wins and to show that coaching really does work.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, Danny Poelman talks about the feelings and thoughts we may experience after watching porn during our healing journey. He breaks down myths about progress being linear, gives actionable advice to continue sustainable progress, and how to adjust your thoughts and confidence during this time.

Listen to the full episode to hear Danny break these concepts down even further and help you get on the road to sustainable habit change.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

Habit change is a process that is refined over time. It is literally the consistent work that is put into the process of changing habits that yield results. In this episode, your host Danny Poelman breaks down the Triangle Offense to Habit Change.

The 3 pillars of this process are:

1) Love and accept yourself
2) Feel your feelings without reacting to them
3) Commitment to your purpose

Listen to the full episode to hear Danny break these concepts down even further and help you get on the road to sustainable habit change.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

You are not alone. If you feel stuck in your journey to quit porn, or like nothing you do is working, I want this episode to serve as inspiration that things can change and be better. That there are ways to work on your growth and healing that are sustainable and productive. That you're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you.

That you are here as you're meant to be.

Listen to the full episode to learn more

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

Are you people pleasing? Do you find yourself giving in to your urges too much? Are you afraid of the consequences of your "no's"? It's perfectly normal. When we are on the journey of healing, one of the hardest things to practice is enforcing our boundaries. In this episode Danny Poelman talks about the importance of enforcing boundaries and how to get out of the unhealthy habit of people pleasing.

Listen to the full episode to learn more

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman discusses joy and how that can be an excellent way to create change and success. By thinking of the things we need to do in joyful ways, it'll create a shift in the ways that change happens.

Listen to the full episode to learn more

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

Are you asking yourself the right questions? In this episode, Danny Poelman goes through the questions he has had to ask himself to facilitate change is his mindset, habits, and life. He offers the questions that can be helpful for thought work and accountability as well as questions to define the 'why' in your journey.

Listen to the full episode to learn more

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

How often do you check in with yourself? Did you know that checking in with yourself is an important practice to help you change habits, stay happier, feel more fulfilled, and determine what areas of your life you can work on.

In this episode Danny Poelman offers some helpful questions to ask yourself when you are checking in.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman shares some of the lessons and successes his clients have shared. It's an episode to celebrate wins and to show that coaching really does work.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

Decision fatigue affects us all and it can make it very difficult to move forward in our goals. In this episode Danny Poelman talks about decision fatigue, how it affects us, and how we can counteract it to make better, healthier, and more impactful decisions in our day to day.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman talks about the humanity in feeling depressed, and how it does not mean you aren't healing or improving your life. We can often feel like our sadness and depression means that there is something wrong with us, but on the contrary, it means that we are human, feeling human emotions.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman discusses how our thoughts drive our actions, and how we can best use them to create genuine change in our day to day lives. He talks about the differences between the upper and lower brain, how we can restructure our thoughts to create meaningful change, and how we have more power over our habits than we think.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode Danny Poelman discusses the rule vs tool principle. He breaks down how we can rethink the way rules are presented to us to create sustainable habit changes. We use rules as tools to get the results we want.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, Danny Poelman talks about a problem he often sees with his clients. He talks about measuring progress and how it can be helpful or harmful to reaching our overall goals. There are many ways in which we measure progress, and if we measure them by how many times we fail, it will leave us feeling discouraged at the work we've done.

Listen to the full episode to learn more!

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

If you want to truly experience the power of your own agency, you need to understand that that you have the freedom to choose. In this episode, Danny Poelman breaks down the freedoms we have in our thoughts, actions, and decisions, and how we think about those things affect our agency.

He breaks down how agency applies to habit change, how mindset can be liberating, and how to change our thought patterns to work for us.

Listen to the full episode to learn more.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

If you have a difficult relationship with porn, more often than not you will blame porn for the things that are happening in your life. The truth is, our thoughts have a huge impact on how our lives look, feel, are, and porn has very little to do with it.

Listen to this episode to learn what we blame on porn, why it may not be as helpful as you think, and what we can do to stop the cycle.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

It's a brand new podcast! In this episode Danny talks about the new direction the podcast is taking, the importance of understanding trauma when changing habits, taking the hustle out of life changes, and how to be reformist. It's the start of whole new era in the How to Stop Looking at Porn Podcast.

Danny Poelman is a certified life coach and helps guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. He created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives.

Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoaching
Ready to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With Me

In this episode, Danny Poelman opens up about how trauma has affected his life, and the importance of hope when dealing with trauma. Danny gets candid about the experience of trauma and its correlation to falling into despair or loss of hope. This episode was created in hopes of inspiring and reminding those who are falling into despair of the state of the world, especially during a difficult time of the year, that where there is hope, there is the possibility for change.

To learn more listen to the full episode now!

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode Danny Poelman discusses why status matters in quitting porn. Not material wealth or societal status, but that status of our mindset. This episode is coming in a time (the holidays) where many of us may struggle with our mindset. I know I definitely struggled, and continue to struggle today.

To learn more listen to the full episode now!

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode, Lindsay and Danny talk about the power of intention. Although we may feel inclined to work extremely hard and hustle even harder to get the results we are looking for, that may not be the most sustainable way for change in the long term.

Intentions are what allows you to make sustainable changes in your life, without feeling the burnout. Why? Because they are a reminder of why you are doing what you are doing in the first place. If you don't have proper intentions set in place, you can find yourself lost when things get difficult.

You can learn more about the power and importance of intention by listening to the full episode.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode, Lindsay and Danny talk about your body's intuition and how to know when we are ignoring it. Our bodies and brains are here to help us survive in the moment. The main goal is survival, not to thrive. This leads us to ignoring a lot of what our bodies are trying to tell us when we are in certain situations.

This episode talks about how you can recognize those overrides and what you can do about them.

Listen to the episode to learn more!

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode of Latter-Day Saints Dealing with Pornography in Marriage, host Lindsay Poelman talks about the differences between abusive behavior and abusive attitudes. She talks about how behavior always trumps the intention someone has set, and how we can navigate these problems in marriage.

Listen to the episode to learn more!

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode of Latter Day Saints Dealing with Pornography in marriage, Danny and Lindsay Poelman share some of their past client's success stories. They celebrate the wins and accomplishments of those who have gone through their program.

They also talk about 3 strategies to deal with negative thoughts and beliefs. They break down what thoughts are, how they affect our belief system, and what we can do to break those patterns.

Listen to the episode to learn more!

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode, host Danny Poelman talks about the importance of shifting your identity when changing a habit. He discusses the subtle differences between being a person who is "quitting" a habit, and a person who "quit" the habit. He discusses the importance of inward change and how that affects our habits externally.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this week's episode, Danny gives us his insight on why feeling unmotivated doesn't make you an unmotivated person. We are so quick to put labels on ourselves, or are really hard on ourselves when we have shortcomings. This is the easiest way to fail, because we are already telling ourselves that we are destined to fail.

Listen to Danny as he breaks the cycle and shifts the narrative to giving yourself grace as you work towards the path of healing.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

In this episode Lindsay and Danny Poelman discuss the harms that come from telling women that the way they choose to dress affects men's behavior. This is not only harmful to women, but also disempowers men from making choices from their own agency.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Why is it that we are willing to do anything for our kids to set them up for success, but, at times, maybe without even realizing it, we are unwilling to do that for ourselves? If our children are struggling in school we will get them tutors. If they want to learn a sport we take them to practice/lessons. If they need something, we will find the resources for them, because we want the best for them.

Let’s become aware of how we may be holding ourselves back in some very important ways. What is the disconnect in finding help that could better our life quality? In this episode Danny and Lindsay explore what holds us back from seeking help, paying for help, being open to new approaches, or even working on areas in our lives that we want to improve in. They break down what are some mental barriers people tend to face and how to find what actually works for you.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Intimacy is an important part in navigating any relationship. Intimacy can be found in romantic relationships, friendships, familial relationships, and even our relationship with ourselves. It is one of the biggest markers in building a thriving community, or tribe, that will also enrich the life of the individual. In this episode Danny and Lindsay Poelman discuss the 6 forms of intimacy, the effects it has on our lives, and our relationship with intimacy. Join them as they delve into all the nuanced ideas revolving intimacy, and how it can shape complete relationships.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

**When learning, or unlearning, something, it is going to have a lot of bumps. Training yourself is a difficult thing to do and faltering is not uncommon. It is normal to feel frustrated, disappointed, or even angry when you don't get things perfect the first time around. But it is important to give yourself grace, especially when working on building a new skill.

It is ok to be ok with where you are in your progress.

It is ok to be ok with where you are in your journey.

In this episode, Danny Poelman breaks down the importance of being ok with where you are right now.**

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

**I believe that we are born emotionally connected to our bodies. Any disconnect we feel today is either instinctual, was instinctual, or was taught to us.

And guess what?**

**Anything that was taught out of you can be taught back in. Learning to trust your body is revolutionary. We get to provide what wasn’t provided to us.

Tune in to understand why we aren’t connected to our bodies, and get some ideas for how to approach a deep loving connection with that gorgeous, trustworthy body of yours. When we do this, we see that our bodies are our best friends.**

They are there for us on the hard days,

Easy days, they grow with us, shrink with us, adapt,

Make do with what they’re nourished with.

If you don’t absolutely love the relationship you have to your body, listen in.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.

For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.com

Click Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:

https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1

For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:

https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Submit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:

https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

You Don't Want What You Don't Think is Possible by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Tune in as I interview Erin Aquin is a Master Certified and Deep Dive Coach who works with entrepreneurs to create more love and success in their lives without burning out. We talk about:· Where certainty really comes from,· Having the courage as a woman to self-invest before your partner is fully understanding,· Investing in yourself when you’re not working,· Baby-stepping yourself into self-care even when it’s uncomfortable,· Why it feels morally incongruous to spend money to feel great, and· Erin drops truth bombs around coaching being the less expensive option when it comes to staying married versus getting divorced! I could have talked to her for hours, but we kept it to one. Find what you love and email Lindsay@LindsayPoelmanCoaching with any lingering questions you have! Want more of Erin? She is co-hosting the virtual Love + Success Summit happening May 11-13, 2021 here (www.revitalizeyourrelationship.com/summit).Her third book Revitalize Your Relationship is currently available on Amazon.com (https://www.amazon.com/Revitalize-Your-Relationship-Guide-Beautiful/dp/B08KTXW7K4).Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Revitalize Your Relationship: Your Guide to Wild, Beautiful Love

“It’s not okay to plan to look at porn,” right?If you think that reacting to urges with porn is better than planning to look at porn, you are accidentally buying in to some disempowering, progress-hindering ideas.What is an Exception Plan?Let me walk you through some of the things I’ve found while working with men to quit the habit of porn.Tweaking your mindset in these ways can have a surprisingly impactful effect.You can fight harder, with your same approach, and keep porn in your life longer.Or you can take a new, smarter approach, that helps you eliminate your habit of porn, so you can move on to your life without it.Do you really want to cling so tightly to your current approach?It’s time to work smarter instead of harder.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Lindsay does a solo episode.Whether you are a family-oriented woman or man, tune in for empowering approaches to being a parent.How to bring more YOU to the process, and how that’s a good thing.Relevant Mother hood is: YOU, deciding what works for you.Relevant Motherhood is: YOU, spending energy on yourself and thinking about what you want, not what you think you should want.Relevant Motherhood is: You, carving out your dreams and your life based on your absolute beautiful unique set of experience that NO OTHER HUMAN HASRelevant Motherhood is: You, knowing that it's not going to look the way everyone thinks your actions should look--letting that be ok.Relevant Motherhood is: You letting people be wrong about you--and loving them anyway.Relevant Motherhood is: You fiercely loving and protecting your beautiful self the way you would a beautiful newborn. Relevant motherhood is acting on your knowing when others disagree with you.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

The results in your life come from existing thought patterns in your brain.If you want long-term, sustainable changes in your results, then changing thought patterns becomes very important.Human brains average 60,000-70,000 thoughts each day.95% of your thoughts each day are unconscious/automatic.5% of your thoughts are conscious.Thoughts cause feelings.Even unconscious thoughts can cause negative, neutral, or positive feelings.Thought Work is using part of our conscious thinking time to examine the unconscious patterns going on.Gaining awareness of a pattern helps you gain authority over it.This is where your power to choose comes in. It exists in the now, in your consciousness.A belief is just a thought repeated over and over.Training your brain to think new things is like training a wild stallion (see podcast).You’ll notice the feelings before the thoughts a lot of times.Don’t get so focused on where you want to be and how you’re not there yet.Begin right where you are, not where you were yesterday or where you long to be.All of your power to exercise choice/agency in your thinking, exists right now.The more moments you can create in the NOW, of believing something even slightly different, the more you will shift in to transformation, inside and out.Test it with the feeling. Embody the new feeing of the new thinking.Too far too fast, forcing, does not work.But you can commit to eventuallly believing something.In the mean time, try on a new thought that is slightly different than current one, and in the direction of the desired one.I recommend starting with love.If I loved myself truly and deeply, how would I think right now?What would I decide for me right now?Do not underestimate the power of loving yourself.You are worth it.You are worth loving.You are worth helping.You are worth getting help.We can tell you these things all day long.But whether you believe it or not is up to you.And it really is a choice.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Telling yourself that you are powerless.Helpful or not?For me, NOT!For every guy that ends up coming to me for coaching? NOT!Why we tell ourselves we’re powerless?For one thing, it’s become a tradition in 12-steps groups (NOTE: studies suggest that only 5%-10% of people find success with 12-steps groups).In The Church of Jesus Christ, 12-steps is called ARP (Addiction Recovery Program).And the ones who do find “success” there, or lasting sobriety, many of them still walk around telling themselves they are powerless, and still wishing they could turn to their habit.More importantly, many of us have pretty painful stories we tell ourselves when we start to take responsibility for all of our choices with pornography.Most guys, when starting this work (including my past-self), have a hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that maybe it was always a choice.Maybe they’ve always had the power to choose.And if they always had the power to choose, that means that they used their power to choose porn.And what do we make it mean when we actually used our power to choose porn?Usually a terrible, no-good, shame-filled, all-out attack on ourselves and our character. A should-y conversation where we should all over ourselves.The biggest self-beatdown we can muster.Because we think: the bigger the beatdown for choosing porn, the more likely we’ll be to not choose it again.Works great, doesn’t it?Actually, the more painful we make it for ourselves to accept that we chose porn all along, the more difficult it is to claim your power.Your already-existing power.Your always-existed power.Your always-will-exist power.Shame is not the answer.Love and acceptance are more powerful.Change requires power.If I were to sum up what I do as a coach. I would say that I show guys how to more fully access their own, built-in, already-existing power.I don’t give them all the answers. I show them their brain, and where their power is, and they, using their power, find their own way to success.Yes, I offer them a lot of support and many tools along the way to help them know where to direct this power, to help streamline the process.But it’s still a process.And that’s okay.Because we’re playing the long-game here.We’re going for sustainability.For regular, intentional healing.For genuine enrichment of our lives.For greater love and enjoyment.2 Questions:What already-existing power might you be ignoring in your efforts to quit porn?How can you make it easier for yourself to access that power?Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

When you are a fish in water, you don’t even know you’re in water.Just because an abusive behavior exists does not make someone an abuser.You can honor your own feelings AND increase your awareness WITHOUT putting your marriage in jeopardy (if you choose).There are disempowering and empowering ways to approach the subject of abuse. You experience both ways while you’re healing/growing.Your process is unique to you.Developing your Self-Concept is key, for quitting porn and for up-leveling your marriage.Setting boundaries can become easy and full of love.Up-leveling your marriage experience can be uncomfortable, but it’s so worth it.You might not even know yet how good it could be for you.If you can imagine it, and desire it, it’s possible.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

“I’m starting over.”“I lost all my progress.”For many of us, streak-tracking is the only key-indicator we use to measure our progress.A streak is the number of days you’ve gone without porn.Streak = progressHas this approach gotten you where you want to be? If not, maybe it’s time for a new approach.Alternatives to streak-tracking discussed.What if we prioritize tracking our use of a well-planned system over tracking how many days it’s been since last viewing porn.Getting reps in is more important than amount of time spent on a goal, or new habit. What kind of reps will you measure for you?How to make progress more obvious, more attainable, and more enjoyable.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Lindsay’s shares some lessons from 2020. Including lessons on perfectionism and “reframing.”Coaching on porn/marriage helps you achieve business goals. What?!How to feel more alive and more fully embrace this experience we call being human. Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Money goals are like porn goals.Some lessons from 2020.Our relationship with money has everything to do with our thoughts about money.Danny shares about his work on money beliefs in 2020.Have you ever thought:“Once I make $X amount of money, I’ll be enough.”“Once I have $X amount of savings, I’ll be enough.”“Once I am out of student loan debt, I’ll be enough.”“Once I grow my business to $X in a year, I’ll be enough.”We do this with porn too:“Once I stop looking at porn, I’ll be enough.”“Once he stops looking at porn, I’ll be enough.”We got this backwards. With money and porn.Developing the belief in your “enough-ness” regardless of the circumstances of money in your life. That’s what propels you toward your money goals.Even though Danny hit his financial goal for the year last week, it didn’t automatically help him feel “enough.” What a great reminder!We wanted to share this reminder with you.Thoughts that you are not enough are what keep you going back to porn.Developing genuine belief that you are enough, just as you are (with or without porn), is what leads you to dropping porn.There is Not Better Than Here.Join us for some other lessons from 2020.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Don’t be too quick to skip this one just because it’s about grief. Grief does not only apply to losing loved ones. Grief is also part of the way we experience relationships with ourselves and others.The way we interact with grief matters. And it is, in our experience, a regular part of personal transformation.If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:“I should have done it differently.”“My best days are behind me.““That was my shot.” (And it’s gone, that was it. No more.)If you recognize these ideas from your own life, then come dig deeper what role grief plays in all of this. How we can make the most of our experience with grief and use it to our advantage.How to approach it in a more intentional, empowering way.How to begin to process your grief in a way that allows you to move forward: -in your relationship with self/others-in your marriage-in your life-in forming new habits.Love your way into change instead of hate/shame yourself into shame.Post traumatic growth.Is there a “right” way to grieve?Our guest is Krista St-Germain.She is a fellow life coach certified through the Life Coach School. She’s easy to talk to and has a fresh, empowering approach to grief. Her focus is on helping widowed moms.If what Krista said jives with you, go find her at:www.coachingwithkrista.comLindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

7 Ways to Build Self-control and Enjoy the Holidays:1. Give yourself permission to not want to do certain things with your family.2. Drop the judgment toward yourself3. Take moments to recharge when you need them.4. Give people permission to not change at all.5. Be willing to let discomfort be part of the holidays.6. Own responsibility for your own thoughts/feelings and let others own theirs.7. Do Thought Work/coaching/self-coaching.This month is the perfect opportunity to work on these things.We discuss these things more in depth in our podcast today, with a real client example.Many guys look at porn during these times, or in anticipation of these times. Or immediately after "getting through" these times.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

It’s not only okay, but also an important part of your growth to allow yourself to want more.2. You can experience desired changes regardless of whether the people/circumstances around you change.3. The changes you want are possible. If you can desire it, it is possible. The changes you want start with you. Would you really want it another way?You want that power. Trust us. It’s a good thing.Listen in on our discussion in today’s podcast episode.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

When finding out your husband has been looking at porn, some people over-react, some people under-react, but we would offer to you that all reactions are normal.Your reaction can show up physically in your body.Some of it feels voluntary, some involuntary.And maybe many emotions that you either aren’t sure how to handle or feel incapable of handling.Don’t worry, we’ve got you.Tune in to find out these 4 things that you need to know right away to start finding relief and healing. To help you feel more in control, at least a little bit. Don’t wait to take care of yourself in this way.You are worth taking care of today! Right now.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Come-From-Behind Periodic Wins Vs. Sustainable Blowout Wins by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

A Better Way to Solve Problems by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Have you heard the idea that if you are going to quit a habit (like porn) that you need a replacement habit?While the idea behind this can be helpful, the mindset with which you approach it might not be.You may be accidentally reinforcing your urges to go back to the old habit.For a habit you’re trying to quit, the last thing you want to do is make it even harder to quit.Tune in to this podcast episode to learn how to tweak your mindset in a way that will make it that much easier to quit your habit.Is it more impressive to build a house hammering one nail at a time (by hand)? Or would you rather work a little smarter, pick up the pneumatic nail gun and get it done lickety-split?Let’s use our heads and make something we think is hard a little easier on ourselves.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Do you feel like you are experiencing the same problems over and over?If you want to solve your problems, we are talking about some things you need to know in this podcast.It is likely that you will need to look at your problem in a new way if you want new results.New results doesn’t mean NO problems, it just means NEW problems.Why getting new problems can be the best thing ever.Some examples of what your life could be like if you join in the process of solving your problems, first, at the level of the mind.And then the magic starts happening.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Yes. Talking about money is directly related to you learning how to not look at porn, and/or creating the life and marriage you want.If you have any “money drama” at all about investing in coaching for yourself (so many of us do), part of you might want to skip this podcast. Don’t do it!The reason we avoid this type of conversation, is because of the money drama we create in our minds and the feelings that brings up.But do you really want the thinking you’ve learned toward money to be what stands in the way of you finding success with your problem?In this podcast, we’re having a helpful conversation about useful steps to take in decisions about investing money in yourself.After listening, you will have more clarity on how to make your most useful decision about whether to invest money in yourself on coaching or not.If this is a barrier for you, clarifying/honing your approach could change everything for you. Helping you create more of the life you want. It can be better than you even realize right now.Click the link below and tune in now.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

You feel like maybe you shouldn't want more because you already have so much. Or because other people need it more.For you husbands, part of you wants porn. Part of you doesn’t. You want to not want porn.You’re more likely to “distract [yourself] with pleasure when [your] life is void of meaning.” Because “the chief desire of man is not pleasure but meaning.” -Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor/neurologist/psychiatrist)So how do you intentionally bring meaning back into the picture?It starts with wanting.You now have permission to want more without rejecting your current self/circumstances/situation.You can love your current self/life AND want more. Simultaneously. Permission granted. You’re welcome!Also, this is more crucial than you realize to help you become the man you want to be.Where do you even start with this process?How do you know if it's even possible? (Because if it's not possible, is it even worth wanting?)Tune in to find out.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

You’re struggling but you think you’re not supposed to struggle because you’ve been so blessed.You feel alone in your struggle, but you can’t tell anyone if you’re not “supposed” to be struggling in the first place.Is your struggle not socially acceptable?“Where much is given, much is required,” you tell yourself.You want help with your struggles but don’t tell anyone or ask for it because it’s not supposed to be there.You want to be open and honest but you hold back because certain types of struggle (porn) are just “not okay.”If you let yourself think “It’s okay that I struggle with this,” then you worry what’s to stop you from letting your habit run wild.This type of thinking, although well-intended, is keeping you stuck in the struggle.Do you want to remain stuck? If so, continue this approach.If not, tune in to this podcast episode for some ideas of how to get unstuck and actually start working the problem once and for all.How we can help make it easier for our loved ones to get the help they want.In a way, regardless of our circumstances, every one of us has an equal opportunity to struggle in our own ways. Because each one of us has a human brain.And what if it’s meant to be that way.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Do you find yourself frustrated and powerless while wishing for things to be different than they are?Maybe you want to go back in time.Maybe you think a new husband will do the trick. Or you wish you struggled with a different vice than porn.Why do we not want to accept our new “normal”?Why can’t I handle it on on my own like “normal” people?It’s one thing to use imagination as the end goal to help escape our real life in this moment.It’s another thing to use imagination as a tool to help you know where you want to go and to deal with the present moment in a way that moves you in that direction.Spending time in fantasy land doesn’t help you deal with reality.If we practice choosing this fantasy (wishing things were different) over reality, it’s no wonder we turn to the fantasy of porn to escape our real life moments.How men and women both do this.Removing the fantasy can help you better clean up reality.The question is, do you want to feel empowered to deal with your problems or feel powerless?Imagination as the end goal? Or imagination as a means to the end goal?One of these keeps you stuck and spinning. One of them helps you find focus, vision, and forward movement.How can you use your imagination to help get you where you want to go?You don’t realize it yet, but your new “normal” will be even better than the “normal” you’ve been wishing for.At the end of the podcast Danny shares a vision statement that he wrote about his vision for the future as men, husbands, fathers, priesthood holders. Don’t miss it.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

People come to us all the time worried that they aren't progressing: sustainably in the way they want to fast enough at all* Or everything is just getting worseIf you are here reading this, progress is probably important to you.Even if porn is not your specific issue, these ideas can help you.Wanting instant results with little to know effort is part of what keeps leading you back to porn. Instant dopamine - hardly any effort.Using the same approach that leads you to porn is not going to help you learn the skill of not looking at porn.Here is a 5-step process to ensure that you are progressing...For Danny’s blog post on this process:https://www.dannypoelman.com/blog/5-step-process-to-make-sure-you-re-progressingLindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

We do it. Our wives do it."I should have known better" seems like a helpful story. But it's hurting you more than you know. How to be less obsessed about making the right decision and more focused on making the best decision you can.When we bash ourselves for decisions we made in the past, we can unknowingly extinguish the confidence and trust in ourselves that we could be accessing now.Confidence and trust that would help you make better decisions now and in the future.We expect to be duped again.We buy into the idea that we must just not be cut out for this.We practice this story that our decisions were "not enough."It creates distress which can literally shut off the creative and problem-solving part of your brain.When we are willing to view our past selves through this new lens, it better allows us to do the best we can do at this time.Turn off the doubting and 2nd guessing.Turn on the creative and problem-solving part of your brain.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Looking at porn is a quick, easy way to get a big dopamine hit that tricks our brains into thinking it accomplished something important to our survival.Often times, when guys want to learn to stop looking at porn, they want to take this same approach.Where's the magic pill that makes my desire for porn go away?If I had it, I would have taken it years ago. And I'd be selling it for millions of dollars right now.But if we use the same quick/easy approach in our efforts to quit porn, we'll just keep turning to porn.To quit porn, you need to learn to play the long game. You need to be willing to let it get harder before it gets easier.You need to be willing to:1. Feel uncomfortable AND2. Stay committed.Let's talk about both of these.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

You are unique. You are one of a kind. Nobody is arguing with that.But it’s possible to take this mentality to an unhelpful level. To a level that:-halts your ability to change-prevents growth-shoots yourself in the footIt’s called Special Snowflake Syndrome.Signs you might be doing this would be if you are thinking:-That works for other people but not for me.-I’m extra broken.-I always have compassion for others in these scenarios, but not for me.-My situation is just different because______-I should know better.-Other people just don’t understand.Basically, special snowflake syndrome is creating an excuse for why something is impossible for you and then believing it, as though it’s a fact.We talk about why do this.3 elements of Special Syndrome:1. Victim mentality. (Impossible)2. Wanting to believe that something is particularly special, hard, and difficult about our lives.3. A way to isolate ourselves.What the Drama Triangle is and how this comes into play here?Some ways that we appreciate our uniqueness are helpful.Other ways, not so much.You’re invited to join our conversation about it, increase your awareness, and get intentional about your approach.What if you can both appreciate your special-ness (your unique abilities and what only you can offer the world) AND recognize our shared human experience in an empowering, healing way.We can isolate and go it alone. Or we can choose to be in this together.What approach serves you best to create the life you’re wanting?We want to hear from YOU, individually.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

If you think you can’t afford to spend time self-coaching, we ask you this:What if you can’t afford not to self-coach?Self-coaching is a way to practice managing your own mind.We’re talking about how having a regular practice of self-coaching can actually create more time for you.How it can create more ease and clarity in your life.Less willpower-battling and more sustainable power.Why people don’t want to do it.Some of the pitfalls people run in to.Our personal experience with self-coaching and just how impactful it has been.Accelerate your desired results by starting with managing your mind.Repetition is key.We offer a basic, step by step way to get started.Our clients who utilize regular self-coaching progress toward their goals much faster.What if you prioritized meetings with yourself the way you would a meeting with the most “important” person in the world?You are the CEO of your own life, after all.An invitation.Link to Danny’s blog post (on his old website), “It May Surprise You What a Year of Coaching Did For Me. It Sure Surprised Me!”:https://iamoutofmymind.wpcomstaging.com/2020/01/10/it-may-surprise-you-what-a-year-of-coaching-did-for-me-it-sure-surprised-me/Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Lots of people want to feel validated, but what does that mean? And what does that look like in marriage?Don’t expect your validation to all come from one person. (Have a few different sources for different subjects)The most important person to get validation from is yourself.You don’t have to validate anyone that you don’t want to.Be willing to recognize whether validation is the most helpful thing for you in that moment.When is validation useful?When is validation not useful?Even if other people validate and agree with you, you are still responsible for how you choose to think/feel/act.Validation is comfortable. While “being comforted” can be nice, comfort doesn’t always lead to growth.Safety + Discomfort -> GrowthLindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Alternatives to people pleasing:The importance of wanting.Charity: pure love.Permission to say “no” helps saying “yes” genuinely come from you.Do you think you should be abandoned? Do you think you are worth being married too? I mean the REAL you. We make this about how others judge us, but it’s about how we judge ourselves.If people you care about are upset with you, and you don’t see this as anything having gone wrong, how different would your approach be?How to show up and support your spouse even better in this situation.Personal experience with doing the dishes.If you are not in a position to talk about something at the moment, say “no” and find another time that can be a genuine “yes” from both of you.It’s not other people’s job to like me, that’s my job.“I love you. And, ’No.’”Improve your life and relationships through less people pleasing.You can do things you don’t want to do, just tell yourself the truth about it.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

People pleasing comes up a lot with people we work with.It promotes shame and secrecy, not being authentic to yourself.It can interfere with intimacy and connection and healthier relationship.How we see this show up in people’s marriages.The term “people pleasing” sounds too pretty, too pleasant.We’re talking about what people pleasing really is.How to spot it.Why we do it.Why it can almost feel like life-or-death.How to do something constructive about it.Some personal experiences.Maybe you’re worried that honesty with her will limit your access to porn AND to sex with her at the same time.If you don’t know how to control your habits/urges yet, or how to want life without porn, this can be very threatening.Why trying to change how your spouse feels (help them feel better) isn’t always the most useful approach.Part 2 coming next week.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

What kind of thoughts are grounding?Which ones aren’t?Thoughts create Feelings, Feelings drive Actions, Actions create Results.The results in your life start with your thoughts.Thoughts are optional.What if you knew that you could handle any emotion or body sensation (or urge) that came your way?What would that be like?How do you start creating a more fully engaged human experience for yourself?Reframing things in your mind can make all the difference. So let’s do it intentionally. Because it’s life-changing in all the most important ways.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Like an electrical circuit, the human body has energy and even literally electricity flowing through it.Thoughts and emotions have energy to them.But what do you do when it feels like there is a short circuit?What can you do with the excess energy or the energy that’s stuck? Or with emotional pain that seems overwhelming?Or with urges that seem overpowering?Grounding is a place to start.It is a skill you can learn.Some activities may be more naturally grounding for you. Find what works for you.Some different ideas on how to approach grounding.When it comes down to it, where you place your focus can make almost any activity either grounding or not grounding.Tune in to Part 2 next week for tips on how to involve that most important part in your grounding. The part of you where it all begins: your brain.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

How do you approach your decisions about money in your marriage?Do you feel insecure? Get defensive? Do you just defer to the one making the money to make the “big” money decisions?This comes up for people all the time in our conversations with them.When Danny stopped working for a time, and Lindsay began working, it felt like our world got turned upside down.It was challenging. There were doubts, insecurities, friction to be worked through.You don’t need your circumstances to become drastic or dire to learn these valuable lessons from our experience. You may able to relate to the unhelpful thinking patterns we discovered during this time.Why we struggle having conversations about money or making decisions about money as a couple?Some helpful strategies.Some alternative ways to think about it without limiting yourself.What it means to be a provider and why this is so important.How going to bat for yourself can actually help your loved one and your relationship.A funny example.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Deciding is one of the most powerful things we do. In fact, all of your power starts with deciding.How are you directing that power?What holds you back?What decisions might you be making without even realizing it?We are talking about how your brain might be behaving in these situations, and how you can better utilize that machinery to create the life you want. To make the change you’ve been looking for. To take some of that weight off of your shoulders.You are probably lugging more weight around with you than you realize with your approach to decisions.How to unload the heavy backpack, and take your next step forward in a new direction.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

What are your current results in life and why do you have those results?If you know you want something more, don’t get ahead of yourself.First, it’s so important to understand why you are where you are now. Doing so will allow you to create new results in your life. We are using the Self-Coaching Model to explain how to start this process.How it has impacted us personally. How it is impacting clients.What blindspots might you have in your own brain/thought patterns?Even though actions are what create results, your results ultimately start somewhere else.Results are evidence of your underlying, optional, thinking.An example of a real person’s model.How to map out your desired results. How to follow through with your desired actions instead of fizzling out along the way. Hint: more will power is not the answer.Why we think we need to change the past or other people.Use the energy of “It’s possible” when choosing your desired results.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Some people say “I don’t have time for feelings, I just need to get the job done.” But what they don’t know is that feelings help get the job done.That’s why we are talking about feelings in this episode. If you want to achieve your goals, get out of pain, improve your life, grow, then feelings are crucial.Many of us naturally disconnect from our feelings.Feelings drive your actions.What are they? Where do they come from?Where do I start? How do we approach them without getting overwhelmed?What if it feels awkward, uncomfortable.How to get intentional with your feelings and influence what feelings you have by choice. Instead of just waiting to see what the feelings-weather is like that day or getting run over by the feelings bus.Feeling feelings cannot harm you. Resisting them can.Physical sensations vs. Feelings (emotions)If you are not taking the action you want to see from yourself, it is because of something you are feeling.Some steps to get you started so you can use your feelings to your advantage.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

What stories about your problem do you assume to be true?We’re discussing why this is so important to look at. How it can reduce your pain. How it can empower you to take control of your life in a new way. How it can help you create results you don’t even currently realize are possible.Some personal examples.Could the stories you tell in your brain be creating your results in your life? Could they be optional?Circumstances (Facts):-neutral data points that have happened in the world-something about which everyone agrees-no adjectives or judgmentsThoughts (Story):-sentences in your mind-things we think about the neutral circumstances-opinions/perspectives-create feelings-are always optionalThoughts seem like circumstances. Thoughts affect everything.A helpful exercise: question everything you think is a circumstance.Some examples of thoughts (story) and circumstances (facts) that we commonly see with married couples and pornography.The difference between talking with a friend/family member compared to talking to a coach.Use feelings as a clue where to start in managing your own mind.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Why are we talking about this?-for people who want to heal from past injuries-but also for people trying to get in the game and perform at a higher levelDanny’s experience with PTSD. Lindsay’s experience with numbing.Our bodies want to heal. Period. Not only physically but also emotionally.3 steps to intentional healing:-safety-correction-repetitionBe your own biggest proponent for your healthcare and healing in general.This is not only about healing and recovering from past injuries (physical or emotional), but also about the future. If you became really skilled at healing, what would that mean for you?What goals could you go for more confidently? What could you create? What kinds of failures could you tolerate on the way to success?Some useful questions to ask when your body gives you physical cues.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Bad news: if you want a change or want to accomplish something new, you’ll need to fail, a lot. We’re talking about why we naturally think this is bad news and how it might actually be good news.Why do we fear failure? What is so bad about it? Which part of that do we actually control?Failing well is a skill. And an essential one to get you where you really want to go. How to start developing that skill.Some empowering questions from Linz at the end. And, as usual, some personal experiences thrown in along the way.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

You know that space between who you actually are and who you want the world to see? We’re talking about that here. Why is it there? How do we bring them into alignment? What gets in the way?Whether it’s wanting to be the kind of guy that doesn’t look at porn (while you’re not that guy yet). Or some other way that your current situation doesn’t quite match with where you want to be. You can bridge the gap if that’s what you want. There really is a way. So tune in.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Why are we talking about self-care? Maybe you’ve heard it’s important. Maybe you want to get better at it but struggle to know where to start. Or maybe you have a hard time getting yourself to do the things that you’d really like to do to take care of yourself. We’ve been there. We can relate.Join us as we talk about what real self-care is and why it is important. Signs that you might not be taking care of yourself in some way. How to use self-care to help you better achieve your goals in life. Examples of things that may not actually be self-care when you think it is.Real self-care comes from love and worthiness and not fear or shame. Some personal examples. A discussion of some examples of real self-care. How to better access the power of self-care.Lindsay teaches an exercise on how to begin this process.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

Do you struggle going out in public together? Are you worried about your husband’s wandering eyes? Do you hate the feelings that come up? Do you feel like you’d rather just not go out, or have to control how and where you go to work around this?We are talking about why you might be having these feelings and how to work through them and manage them in a more empowering way.For you husbands who worry about your own triggers and wandering eyes, some tips for how to approach this as well. You have so much more power than you think to manage this, understand it, and make it what you want.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comLindsay’s free Emotional Awareness workbook: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/awarenessFor Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMk

People often hire us to coach their kids, whether they are trying to go on a mission, a return missionary, or just learning to navigate their life as a young adult. Since they are the ones paying and their loved one is the one getting coached, sometimes there are some questions that come up.In this podcast, we address some of those questions. We take you through some of the things that might be going on in your mind, what to start being aware of, and helpful ways to proceed in making your decision.How to best show up for and support your loved one who is getting coached, before starting coaching, through your decision whether to pay for coaching or not, and during the coaching process.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at porn and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comLindsay’s guide on How to Solve Any Problem: https://lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/free/ For Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

A powerful concept to help you in your efforts to manage your emotions: 50/50. What buffering is and why we do it. Common pitfalls in the way we approach our negative emotions.The 50/50 progression. How this can help you to drop habits you want to drop, reach your goals, and start creating in a way that’s unstoppable. You only have one life as a human, so how do you make the most of experiencing the full human experience.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys stop looking at porn. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comLindsay’s guide on How to Solve Any Problem: https://lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/free/For Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Do you have problems from being quarantined? Or have you just been quarantining your problems?Get a little insight into why things might not be as pretty as you’d hoped they’d be while you are all quarantined at home together. Some helpful tips.A guide on how to stay sane during this time, and really any time. Because the reality is, you can have anxiety/stress provoking thoughts and feelings at any time, COVID-19 or not, quarantined or not. Likewise, you can show yourself some love by owning what you can control, empowering yourself, and showing up the way you want to. Now is the best time to do this.Have tons of urges to look at pornography? Take this as an opportunity to find out why. Don’t love the dynamic between you and your spouse while both at home with the kids? Don’t miss out on the valuable information there.Take care of yourself so you can better take care of others.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys stop looking at porn. Lindsay helps women drop the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create a dream marriage with reality.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comLindsay’s guide on How to Solve Any Problem: https://lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/free/ For Danny's 5-Step Guide to Staying Sane: https://dannypoelman.com/5-step-guide-to-staying-sane

Nothing has gone wrong if you’ve felt fear. If you’ve never felt afraid then you might not be human.How we end up in a fear cycle and how to break out of it. Some useful questions and helpful tips.A few personal experiences mixed in.Why the feeling of fear itself cannot actually harm you.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys stop looking at porn. Lindsay helps women in their marriage whether it’s affected by porn or not. For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comLindsay’s guide on How to Solve Any Problem: https://lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/free/ For Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Do you feel hurt when your spouse says you aren’t progressing fast enough? Or even just from imagining they are thinking this? You are not alone.Being sensitive to something someone says about you can be an amazing opportunity. How to turn it into an opportunity instead of just more needless suffering.Join life coaches, and married couple, Danny and Lindsay Poelman as they discuss:-challenges we are faced with when it comes to this.-an example from a client.-where the hurt actually comes from.-a dart throwing analogy.-how to manage it-an empowering way to look at it.-some personal experiences from their own marriage-how it relates to pornography in a Latter-day Saint MarriageFor more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Lindsay's Guide to Processing Pain: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/processpainFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Many of us don’t take the time to tap into what it is that we want in life. Maybe we avoid it because: we think we won’t get it, think we shouldn’t want it (judge ourselves), think we’ll get our hopes up and they’ll be dashed, think others wants are more important than our own, think there’s not enough of the thing we want to get some for us, think there is not enough time/energy/money to get it. Maybe we just don’t know how to want.Life coaches Danny and Lindsay Poelman have a discussion of why it is important to learn how to want intentionally, with a hefty dose of awareness. How it can be life changing. And how it relates to pornography, urges, marriage, and personal development.Giving yourself space to want can help you:1. Live in your zone of genius2. Live the life you are meant to live3. Act with more power than ever beforeHow to start doing this. And see Lindsay’s freebie below to help get you started. How can you live the life of your dreams if you are not willing to dream?For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Lindsay's Free Guide on The Capacity to Dream: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/capacityFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

What kind of marriage relationship do you have? One where you always feel the need to stick up for yourself? Or where you are complying and being the peacekeeper all while seething inside? Have you become apathetic and given up on the chance of things being better? Or are you on the offensive, attacking, backbiting, cheating, criticizing?Certified life coaches Danny and Lindsay Poelman as they discuss pornography and marriage. They share some insights into their relationship before and now. A new way to understand you marriage relationship and, really, your relationship with anybody/anything. Will you wait around for someone to fix your relationship for you or will you own what is your responsibility and start experiencing empowering changes right now?Lindsay shares a step by step way to start this process.How to manage your relationship by managing your own mind.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Lindsay's Guide to Processing Pain: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/processpainFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

“Why should I get help when he’s the one with the problem!” Only you know if you need help from a coach or not. But if you are wanting something from your life, and you are not getting there (maybe you’re even stuck!), you may want to consider hiring a coach for yourself. Join certified life coaches Danny and Lindsay Poelman as they discuss examples of problems the spouse of the one looking at porn might come to us with. Lindsay shares her personal experience of going from victim and disempowered to empowered and totally boss! Benefits such as better physical health, more present with kids, better overall enjoyment of life, and even showing up better in marriage and other relationships.Sometimes the best way we can help those we love most is by getting help for ourselves and taking care of ourselves. This seems counterintuitive to some at first. Join us as we discuss why and how this process works.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Lindsay's Guide to Processing Pain: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/processpainFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Valentine’s Day, like other holidays, can be triggering for people. Some people will be more likely to look at pornography around holidays. Some people just can’t seem to have the Valentine’s Day experience they dream of. Join certified life coaches Danny and Lindsay Poelman as they discuss why that is and why can it seem even more complicated in a marriage relationship. How to be aware of what you might be doing, that you think is helping, but may actually be hurting. Some alternative approaches that may get you closer to the results you actually want in your marriage.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Lindsay's Guide to Processing Pain: https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/processpain For Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Many of us want to calm down when we feel unpleasant emotions but our approach often makes it worse. How to calm down by allowing the UNcalm first and working through it in a more healthy way. A way that helps with stopping porn (or other addiction-like behaviors), with your relationship with yourself and relationships with others, including marriage.A quote from the life coach of a kung fu master.Some practical techniques discussed. But if we only focus on actions to take then we miss out on sustainable long term results. How life coaching can help you address your emotions from the inside out rather than getting stuck on the outside in.How to increase your awareness and rewire your brain by tapping into the present moment. Let it be a process as you seek improvement in your relationship with anxiety, depression, fear, shame, lack of confidence, hopelessness, and any other emotions that are difficult for you right now.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

A discussion about ways that a we sometimes doubt ourselves or see ourselves as broken. For the one using porn: “Why does part of me want this and part of me not? Why can’t I stop when I try with willpower? Am I not strong enough? Diseased? Defective?” For the one married to the someone secretly using porn: “Was I wrong about him? About our marriage? About what I thought we had all this time? If I missed this, what else could I be missing?”“Once an addict, always an addict” may not be that useful for everyone to believe about themselves.For many people, we need a better solution than 12 steps.It’s okay to feel crazy. Just because you feel crazy doesn’t mean you are or that a something is wrong with you.Some helpful information/ideas to navigate these challenges.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

What it was like for Danny when telling Lindsay about his struggles with pornography. What it was like for Lindsay managing life as a working mom and caretaker. How we struggled with overwhelm. What made it worse? What helped? Patterns we noticed. We discuss some practical approaches to managing overwhelm, sharing some specific examples. Some strategies you can begin implementing simply and right away.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l

Trust by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Boundaries by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Don't Need to "Fix Him" to Feel Better by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

How to Feel Safe by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Divorce or Not? by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Dealing with Shame by Danny & Lindsay Poelman

Why are we doing this podcast? To help people who are struggling in shame, silently, with something that affects so many people. Yet no one wants to talk about it. So if we can talk about this as a couple, committed, and loving each other, in an open empowering way, then we want to. What it was like for Danny when he first told Linz about using pornography. What it was like for Lindsay. What helped? How we can accept, appreciate it and thank our process for what it was.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or dannypoelman.comFor Danny's free guide on How to Stop Looking at Porn to help get you started:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8l