Coffee with Temmi: Recent Episodes
Temmi
Age has refused to let me define myself. Seems every five to ten years I evolve, intentionally and otherwise. This evolution is alarming even as it is delightful to me, to discover layers of myself, to move out of my comfort zone, to not be afraid to see what I can become. The journey really started when at the ripe old age of 47 I joined the motherhood fraternity, which I tell you is a different ball game entirely, parenting truly brings unexpected surprises.
I want to speak up about the issues that concern me because they may affect my child when she grows up, hoping my voice will multiply and move us into positive action.
Join me as I chat over coffee on life, parenting, books I'm reading, and all that takes my fancy.
Where were you at midnight of 31st December 1999?
It’s been 25 years since the world held its collective breath on that night. People prayed, panicked, and prepared for what they thought would be the end of the digital world. But when the clocks struck midnight — nothing happened.
The lights stayed on. Planes didn’t fall. Life simply continued.
Reflecting on how far we’ve come, what fear taught us, and why faith — even in uncertain times — never crashes
Boundaries
Have you ever seen a hamster running in its cage? Round and round, legs flying — but it’s not really going anywhere. Lately, that’s exactly how my life has felt.
And it’s all down to not setting boundaries.
Grab your cup and let’s chat
The people children trust the most; parents, relatives, teachers, and leaders, are meant to protect them. What happens when those trusted protectors become the very source of harm?
Abuse is not always committed by strangers; too often, it comes from the familiar, cloaked in silence and betrayal. We uncover the painful reality of broken trust and challenge the silence of adults who look away.
Protecting children means more than love - it demands courage, truth, and accountability.
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“You’ve heard the saying, ‘beauty is only skin deep.’ Well… the beauty industry has turned that into a multi-billion-dollar reality. We’re talking creams, serums, facials, treatments - each promising the kind of skin that’ll make you feel unstoppable.
But here’s the thing… are we really buying better skin, or are we buying self-esteem? And if confidence has a price tag, what are we actually paying?
Today, I’m looking at the skin industry through the eyes of a skin specialist, Bukky Eyinade, and we’re going to talk about what’s really going on beneath the surface.”
I sat down for coffee with Clinical Psychologist, Lola Bade-Aluko to talk about what depression really looks like in adults — how it shows up, how it feels, and why it’s not always easy to spot.
It’s August, and this month is all about women. I’ll be taking time to look at us — our experiences, our stories — through different angles and environments.
“Why am I not married?”
It’s a question so many women have asked—and have been asked—over and over again. It’s gotten to the point where the idea that a woman could actually be happy without a husband isn’t even part of the conversation.
For a lot of women, the thought of never getting married feels scary. Almost like something is wrong if it doesn’t happen.
But here’s something worth asking:
“Do I actually want to be married?”
Not should I be… not when will I be… but do I really want it?
It’s a different kind of question—and it might lead to a very different kind of answer..
I had a long and productive interview with Clinical Psychologist Kelebongile Lebo Mojanaga-Masilele on the increasing number of children struggling with mental health issues.
The Mental Health Crisis You Can’t See
In this episode, we’re opening up the conversation on children’s mental health.
Why are so many kids struggling? What signs are we missing? And how can we show up better as parents, caregivers, and mentors?
They are carrying things we don’t always notice.
They laugh, they play, they show up—but underneath, many are hurting in ways we can’t see.
Anxiety, fear, pressure to be perfect… it’s all there, behind the smiles and screen time.
Let’s talk about the things that matter—the stuff that doesn’t always come up at bedtime or in the car, because sometimes the quietest kids are the ones screaming for help.
Let’s talk about virginity.
The word itself simply means untouched, unused — in its raw form. But when we talk about virgins, we’re usually not talking about olive oil or hair. We’re talking about people — specifically, women — and their sexual status.
How far will you go to remain a virgin?
Is there a cost too high? Or is there no cost too high?
🎙️ Fatherhood: Remix
Not your today’s young dad — but the dad you pray for.
All for one and one for all. My guest today is Mlue Maguba. He has embraced the role of fatherhood with passion, purpose, and presence. He’s rewriting the narrative of what it means to be a young father — and doing it with heart.
Insignificant: too small or unimportant to be worth consideration - yet we seems to be consumed with it!
SHE RISES
She walks through fire, yet bears no ash,
With silent strength and steady sash.
The world may bend, the winds may roar,
Still she stands—then rises more.
Her tears are rivers—soft, yet deep,
Where dreams and promises dare sleep.
She weaves her pain into a song,
And sings it bold, and sings it strong.
With hands that heal, with hearts that fight,
She holds the dark, then births the light.
Not made of glass, but steel and grace,
The battle carved upon her face.
She bends, but never breaks apart
The thunder echoes in her heart.
A mountain moving through the storm,
A thousand voices in one form.
So here’s to her—the quiet flame,
Who burns with love, and not for fame.
The world may try to write her end—
But she begins. And then, again.
Dance like no one is watching.
There is almost nothing that compares to the freedom of your spirit and body like dance.
The death of reading.
We have murdered sleep.” Not the kind you get at night—but the kind that rests the soul through knowledge, story, and thought. In our chase for quick entertainment and instant gratification, we’ve killed the quiet power of reading. And our minds are no longer at peace.
“You have murdered sleep” Macbeth (Act 2, Scene 2). It symbolizes the killing of peace, innocence, and the conscience itself.
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" is a famous line from William Shakespeare's play Hamlet, used to describe a situation where something is wrong or corrupt. It implies that the current state of affairs is not healthy or moral,
When the smile is perfect but the heart is heavy.
Get your Reflective Journal on
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To stand on a frozen lake speaks of being consumed by something you desire, so much so that you can’t think logically again.
You look at this object of desire that seems to be just out of reach on a frozen lake.
You think you are fast enough to get it before the ice cracks, but are you that fast?
There is an arrogance in all humans that makes us believe we can schedule our lives the way it suits us, There is no consideration for time.
Being naked isn’t just about nudity—it’s about vulnerability. It’s about stripping away the layers we use to protect ourselves and letting someone see the real us.
Four Men and Me: https://coffeewithtemmi.com/four-men-and-me/
Intimacy: https://rss.com/podcasts/coffeewithtemmi/768291/
Relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re young and just starting out. What many don’t realize is that we often step into new relationships carrying emotional baggage from our past—things we might not even see ourselves.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, but it’s so important to take a moment and reflect on what you’re bringing with you.
If you can recognize your own fears, insecurities, and unresolved issues, you’ll have a better chance at building something healthy and lasting. Take it slow, be kind to yourself, and don’t forget that healing is a part of the journey.
There comes a time when you need a break - just a moment - it’s time to hit the Pause Button.
Relationships aren’t what they used to be. It’s not just starting a new chapter—it’s like learning an entirely new language while tiptoeing through a minefield.
So, grab your coffee as we unpack this ever-evolving landscape.
There is something so soothing about drawing repetitively with no expectations of excellence, or necessary explanations of finished work.
Today, I’m chatting with an amazing single dad who’s absolutely rocking parenthood.
His love for his kids is nothing short of inspiring, and along the way, he’s learned so much about himself—and life!
We’re diving into the ups, the downs, and everything in between, as he shares his journey, the lessons that have shaped him, and some great takeaways for all the single parents out there.
It’s going to be an uplifting and honest conversation you won’t want to miss!"
The new year is here—a time for fresh beginnings, gentle intentions, and a little sparkle of possibility. Today, we’re talking about stepping into this next chapter with grace, confidence, and a whole lot of self-love. So, grab your coffee, cozy up, and let’s start this beautiful year together."
2025 MANIFEST(O) link
https://bit.ly/40c5OdJ
Take Five with Temmi
https://spoti.fi/3PoWGNX
2024 felt longer than 12 months! It’s been rough and tumble but it also had its good moments.
Looking forward to 2025 and new beginnings.
Goodnight, goodbye Matholdi
I’m still in shock, I don’t want to accept that you are gone.
Success looks different for everyone. Over a hot cup of coffee, I dive into the personal, and unconventional, of what success really means. It’s not about fitting into someone else’s mold—it’s about defining your own path.
Join me as I challenge the norms, celebrate individuality, and sip on some real talk about success, life, and everything in between.
“Chasing Clout: Why Gen Z Will Do Anything for Fame”
There’s a growing obsession with fame at any cost among Gen Z. From shocking stunts to oversharing the unthinkable, they’re crossing boundaries—and broadcasting it all.
How did we get here? Let’s dive into the rise of this fame frenzy.
HAPPY PILLS
What's really going on with us? Why are more people turning to anxiety medication than ever before? This episode dives into the roots of our collective anxiety, from social pressures and digital overload to the impact on our children. Are we just more anxious than past generations, or are we becoming a culture too quick to medicate? Join us as we explore the big questions: What are we really anxious about, and is there a healthier way forward??
It’s okay to look after yourself!
October is Mental Health Awareness Month.
In today’s episode, I am sharing an interview I did some years ago with Clinical Psychologist Maud Bopape, that is still relevant today.
I want to take a moment to talk about mental health—something that’s a part of all of us, even if we don’t always acknowledge it. Our mental well-being shapes how we feel, think, and show up in the world. And the truth is, it’s okay to have days when things feel heavy.
Reaching out for help doesn’t make you weak—it makes you brave. Let’s make space for real conversations, support one another, and remind ourselves that no one has to face their challenges alone. You’re not alone, and your mental health matters.
"Listen in as Mathlohi Leteane breaks down everything you need to know about Wills and Trusts in this recording of a live Q&A session.
Get all the insights and answers to audience questions from the original program!"
When is love no longer enough to sustain, maintain a marriage?
Is it possible to have marriage without love?
How solid is your relationship?
Can it withstand the test of time?
Are you Will to fight for your relationship?
How far will you go to keep your relationship?
When life’s challenges continually press down on you, it feels like everything is on the verge of falling apart, and you’re desperately trying to keep it all together.
It’s an oxymoron to have the word lazy and job in the same sentence, yet today’s Gen Z have found a way to do just that.
The End Game is the final stage of a game…
Plans, Proposals, Relationships,
Do you have an End Game?
What is your end game?
Okafor’s Law says once a man has had sex with a woman, he can always have sex with her - anytime, anywhere.
Young people have been sold a bag of bills, too sour to swallow. Is it too late to remedy?
There is nothing free in Sexual Freedom.
I had a sit-down with three teenagers, it was an interesting eye-opener for me. Their level of tolerance and accommodation of other people is commendable.
There is more to cannabis than meets the eye. An illuminating interview on the plant with Linda Siboto, one of the Partners at Cheeba Cannabis Academy. Located in Johannesburg, South Africa, Cheeba is one of the leading companies in the emerging cannabis industry in the country. https://cheebaafrica.com
This episode is a reproduction of a message by Dr. Tim Grage. He is a Pastor, Author, Leadership Coach and the CEO of Tim Grage Consulting. You can watch him on his YouTube channel @timgrage. He is the author of two books, Daily Devotionals and The 12 Laws of Marriage.
When parents bend over backwards for their children and there is no discernible line of who is the parent and who is the child, the result can not be good.
In a number of families, good manners and discipline have become a taboo.
Dream it! Cease it!
How do you plan a dream, and birth it? If you can dream your desired future, you can achieve it.
Ayo Arogbo is a leader in Venture Capitalist, a Pastor, an avid reader and he is passionate about empowering young people to fulfill their potential. He shares with us the program he started to help youth realise their dreams.. It’s not too late, if you are breathing, you can dream it, if you can dream it, you can achieve it.
Katleho Monareng gives us an insight into the sexual confusion that’s challenging young people.
I am one of those people who "suffer' from JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out), so I don’t understand why parents plaster the internet with photos of their offsprings?
They are seemingly unaware of the danger this pose to the children or to themselves.
Sharenting is to frequently use social media to share photos or other details and information about one's child.
My question is why?
What are the criteria for fixing the age of consent; calendar age, size of the child, or preference of the person in authority?What are the criteria for choosing those who make these laws? and when other laws overlaps or supersede one another...The age of consent in most countries benefits not the young people it is meant for but the adults who should know better and who should be protecting the children.
To be authentic is to be genuine.Does being genuine mean you have to let the world into every facet of your life? Is it necessary to have your warts and all examined and probed by the public in order to gain a badge of authenticity?Let's chat.
Many women unreasonably fear the law. Matlhodi Leteane hope to distil that fear in negotiating and navigating the law. Women don’t have to be the “weaker” sex when they know their rights as well as responsibilities. Matlhodi on women “… don’t be mistaken that we don’t know our strength, the level of our education, our fierceness, the passion that drives us and the discipline that got us there”
Why am I not married? Being single is not a disease or affliction, yet I’m asked this question so often🤔here is my answer.
Freedom to be yourself, to be true to who you are is liberating, it's beautiful, and it should be welcomed, embraced, and enjoyed.
“I don't need to have my hands " held" to live/ navigate the world.
Being true to myself is the most liberating thing I've ever done.
I enjoy being older than my 20s” Demida.
I find that one of the most misconstrued words in English is intimacy.
Intimacy is not sex, though sex is a part of it it’s much more than the physical aspect.
In my chat with Pako and Dineo Tlou we look at different areas of intimacy- enjoy!.
This is the third and final session of the Post-Covid Career Prep with Femi Bolaji.
Femi puts all the sessions together with guidance on equipping oneself and preparing for the next step.. She unpacks the "bucket of competencies" that will be necessary to survive in the post-covid workplace,
This is Part 2 of Session 2
What exactly are soft skills? Leadership, Communication, Collaboration and more, Femi expands on them as she continues to guide us to work in the new normal .
softskills #postcovidcareerprep #learningagility
Continuing the interview with Femi Bolaji, International HR Management Consultant. In this session we focus on What Skills are needed to be “who you need to be” ( session 1).
What exactly are soft skills? Leadership, Communication, Collaboration and more, Femi expands on them as she continues to guide us to work in the new normal .
softskills #postcovidcareerprep #learningagility
Invest in yourself, books to read:
The Adaptation Advantage : HEATHER E MCGOWAN
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People : Stephen R Covey
Developing The Leader Within You : John C Maxwell
Automation. Atomisation. Augumentation
These are not just buzzwords, rather words that we need to familiarise ourselves with in the new post-Covid workplace.
Are you ready to emerge from the cocoon of your coach/bed office?
Do you have what it takes to:
COVID changed every aspect of life. Literally.
In this series of Podcasts (3 in all), we will focus on the career aspects of these changes. What has changed and what are the implications and imperatives of the 'new work normal'...for you?
To guide us is Ms. Femi Bolaji, an International Human Management Consultant.
Over the years the description of what the family is has changed, and yet some of have been the same but we just didn’t give it a name. So there was always the nuclear family, the step family and what we now call the blended family we just didn’t name that particular one.
To clarify, a Step-family have parent or parents who come into a marriage with kids from previous relations but none together.
In a blended family, each parent come to a marriage with their own children (who become step kids) and they then have a child or children together, creating half sibling or siblings for the step children, and they all live together under one roof.
Today, I’m speaking to a couple in a blended family. I truly will like to know how this works or how they may make it work.
My guests today are Johnny and Patronella Diedricks.
I can’t be a Karen, I am not a Karen, yet my peeves list is growing, and I need to vent.
There are so many more important things to worry about but they are so out of my control and nothing I can do about them so…
I may not be able to change any of these peeves either, but I can rant and vent on; hem lengths, bad manners and unisex changing rooms
Parenting a teenager can feel like having an alien in the house. To parent a teenager in a world that encouraging sexual freedom requires the wisdom of Solomon. What will you do if you find our your teen is sexually active.
I had a smile plastered on my face throughout this interview, with Granny Pat it’s always love, laughter, hugs and coffee! At a few weeks shy of 82, Patricia Matthes aka Granny Pat is an incredible woman; wife, mother, and grandmother to dozens of children, biological and “adopted”. She has and continues to touch lives with godly wisdom, sensible advice, straight forward common sense!
When couples stand before God and family and say their Marriage Vows, is it just a ritual, or are the vows meant to be kept?
We conclude Fathers month chatting with these incredible young men, Bongani Masilela and Thami Pooe are role models for the younger generation and game changers for theirs. They speak frankly about growing up in a free South Africa, their relationships with their fathers and how they will parent.
Pastor Tim Grage is a father of two incredible adult-ish children. What’s his secret? He unpacks for us what he and his wife have tried, tested, what has worked and what can be done to enrich relationships between parents and their children.
Parenting rules of engagement has changed to the extent that it can sometimes feel like navigating a field of uncharted land mines.
We live in a global village that is becoming smaller with access to social media, children are imbibing cultural, social norms and behaviour that are foreign to their parents.
The old one rule fits all in discipline no longer works, is all lost?
A review of Parenting 101 skills.
Recommend Books
Manlihood , the art of being a gentleman: Monique Stubb-Hall.
The Strong willed child by James Dobson.
Raising a strong daughter Meg Meeker
All of these should be read in conjunction with the Word and balanced therewith with the same.
Being a dad is more than biology. In a world of baby-daddies, absent fathers, men with multiple baby-mamas, men who live up to the true calling of a father are gold, a treasure to have and to hold onto.
A true father has enormous influence over their child’s life, determines his/her future. A father’s role can not be under estimated, in a world of chaos children find an anchor, a safe place, love, protection and provision.
So what does it mean to be a Dad? I chat with a few men who are truly fathers to their children.
Ndia Madagadela lives life to the fullest. In personal, family, and her business live she’s gone through broken them and is flying high.
The issue of abortion is a very sensitive one, for the person going though the procedure, having to come to that decision.
When should it be permissible to have an abortion? Is there ever a right reason?
Who should make a decision about getting an Abortion? Government? Politician? Family? Affected person?
One of the most difficult topic to talk about is Grief. It’s something that affects everyone, young or old, it has no boundaries, and yet it’s something we just cannot prepare for or guard against.
Everyone reacts differently and some people are emotionally touched that their mental state is destroyed or so impaired that they never recover from it.
Is there any advice, any word that can make it simply go away?
Grief is not a taboo, it cannot be, we must talk about it, we must.
These links to live interviews on mental health may help.
https://youtu.be/C0B6233MdbI
https://youtu.be/Pes-z_Zvg4w
What is the purpose of female circumcision?
Why are girls subjected to it? What is the benefit to the child? How do we stop the blood letting?
This was first posted on my YouTube page.
The shock of the slap given by Will Smith to Chris Rock is still vibrating round the world. Not only that it was done but also done publicly. The genesis of the slap is lost to most of us, for there is surely more to it than the unsavoury joke made by Chris Rock.
I don’t support the actions of either of men but I am a bit concerned about some of the comments posted online so, I felt the need to speak up and add my two cents worth.
Kone Gugushe is a ball of positive energy, if I could call an adult a bundle of joy then that’s who she is. Mum, wife, daughter, friend and very busy executive, how does she do it?
RAPE: the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will.
This crime is made worse when the person committing the crime is the one that is supposed to protect, Where is the escape? How does one move on from here? Is there hope for a normal life after this heinous crime?
We have to speak out, on this issue silence is not golden. Gender-based violence must not be stigmatized. The shame is not that of the victim but the abuser and yet the abuser is without remorse. Gender-based violence is a scourge on society, if one person is affected we are all affected. The occurrence of GBV has increased in recent years, made worse with the lockdown worldwide. This is not limited to a country or race, it cuts across the board and both perpetrators and victims are getting younger. Although this affects both genders, this chat focuses on the female victims.
This was streamed live on my YouTube channel.
I know you mean well but...there are times when love and concern are better shown by not speaking. Times when words and actions tend to scratch places that are already tender. They are unwanted and unwelcome, how do we navigate those instances?
This was initially posted as a video on my YouTube channel last year. I have edited it slightly but the main message has not changed.
I find that women are not as tolerant of each other as we should be, we disregard, belittle of just ignore the very thing that makes us different from men - our display of emotions. When we bruise other women emotionally we are all the less for it.