The Harmful Habits Podcast: Recent Episodes
Three Trees Center for Change
The Harmful Habits Podcast, hosted by Three Trees' very own Jamesa, Ben, and Amine, combines a blend of their clinical perspective, personal stories, and their love of poking fun at each other, to help illustrate different types of harmful habits and how to transform them.
In this episode of the Ben & Jamesa Podcast, we’re joined by author Jill Damatac, whose book Dirty Kitchen beautifully examines home through the lens of food, identity, and lived experience—and was just nominated today for the prestigious James Beard Award.
Together we explore the deeply personal and ever-evolving idea of “home.” Is it a physical place, a feeling, or something we carry within us? Through thoughtful conversation, we unpack how home is shaped by memory, migration, family history, and the world around us. Along the way, we reflect on how our understanding of home shifts over time, and what it means to come back home and also to ourselves.
Support the show
In this short end-of-season episode, we share why we’re pausing The Ben and Jamesa Podcast for the rest of 2025—and what it means to winter.
We explore the wisdom of slowing down, resting, and syncing with the natural world, especially as we enter a season that asks for softness and recalibration. We also talk about why Americans often do the opposite—speeding up, overcommitting, and pushing through the darkest months of the year—and what it costs us.
Expect a beautiful nature fact about how the living world winters, a reflection on choosing slowness, and a look at how we’re preparing ourselves and our community for the new year.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast explores the deep work of healing, leadership, and community in a world built for disconnection.
Support the show
What happens when gratitude becomes more than a feeling — when it turns into a shared responsibility?
In this week’s episode, we explore gratitude as a community practice — how remembering what sustains us can become a guide for how we lead, work, and live together. We talk about the real consequences of recent SNAP cuts, the vacuum they’ve created, and the people and organizations stepping up to make sure everyone is still fed. These stories reveal what we call gratitude in action — not just saying thank you, but showing up for one another in tangible, compassionate ways.
We also unpack how this lens of collective gratitude could reshape how governments and businesses operate — replacing toxic individualism with mutual care, responsibility, and respect for the many unseen hands that sustain every community and workplace.
If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like when compassion drives policy, leadership, and daily life — this conversation will give you a glimpse.
🌿 Listen to hear:
- The difference between performative and collective gratitude
- Real stories of communities filling the gaps left by policy failures
- How gratitude can guide workplaces toward deeper connection and trust
- Five ways businesses can lead through collective care
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Learn more about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
Gratitude isn’t about counting blessings — it’s about remembering the people, systems, and histories that make our lives possible.
In this opening episode of our Gratitude Series, Ben and Jamesa reclaim gratitude from individualism and performance, grounding it instead in interdependence, justice, and care.
We explore:
🌾 How gratitude became aesthetic and performative — and how to reclaim it as relational and transformative
🥣 What the threat to SNAP benefits reveals about how our culture has forgotten shared care
🌍 The difference between colonial gratitude and ancestral gratitude
💭 How remembering our ancestors and the land can return gratitude to its roots in accountability and reciprocity
This conversation is an invitation to remember deeply — to practice gratitude not as denial or comfort, but as a quiet act of resistance in a culture that teaches us to survive alone.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit to learn your control style and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
In this fourth and final episode of our anger series, we explore what happens when emotions are treated as private property—and how that belief keeps us isolated, performative, and disconnected.
We dive into the idea of toxic individualism—the cultural pressure to “handle your emotions alone”—and how it shows up in colonized therapy models, workplace expectations, and even family dynamics. What would it look like instead to manage anger together—to create communities and workplaces that can hold, process, and transform emotion collectively?
Along the way, we share one of the most bizarre natural phenomena on Earth: China’s Qiantang River tidal bore—a massive wall of water that reverses the river’s flow. Communities have learned to face this force together, turning danger into shared wisdom. It’s a perfect metaphor for collective emotional management: when the tide rises, no one faces it alone.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
What happens in the brain when we rise up against injustice — and how can anger become a force for clarity, compassion, and creativity rather than destruction?
In this episode, Ben and Jamesa explore the neurobiology of “good trouble,” drawing from the wisdom of John Lewis, Greta Thunberg, and the No Kings protest to understand how anger can transform into courageous, values-driven action.
We look at what actually happens in the brain when we’re angry — from the amygdala’s rapid-fire alerts to the prefrontal cortex’s capacity for reflection — and how this energy can fuel moral courage, not reactivity.
Together we unpack:
- How the fight-flight-freeze-fawn system processes anger
- The difference between reactive, suppressed, and regulated anger
- What neuroscience teaches us about turning outrage into action
- Real-world examples of anger as a moral force for justice and connection
→ Tune in for a grounded, compassionate look at how we can harness anger as a tool for healing, leadership, and community change.
🎧 The Ben and Jamesa Podcast explores the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Join our Patreon for insight-driven tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
In Part Two of our series on anger, we get honest about what happens when anger stops being a tool for truth and starts becoming a trap. From the self-righteous outrage that fuels online culture to the quiet, corrosive resentment that poisons connection, we explore how ego, projection, and unhealed pain distort our sense of justice.
We also ask: why are narcissists and politicians so good at weaponizing anger—and what can we learn from that about our own patterns?
Join us for stories, laughter, and a few uncomfortable truths about the difference between clarity and control, anger and arrogance.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit to learn your control style and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
Season 10 opens with fire. 🔥
In this episode of The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, Ben and Jamesa dive headfirst into the theme of anger—how it shows up in our relationships, our communities, and even in our healing. What begins as a lighthearted chat quickly turns into a mini therapy session, as Ben unpacks his own relationship with anger—with some help from Jamesa, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Thich Nhat Hanh, and James Baldwin.
Together they explore:
- Why anger isn’t the enemy—it’s information.
- How to notice what’s happening in your body before it erupts.
- The difference between managing anger and suppressing it.
- What healthy anger looks like in professional and personal spaces.
This is Part One of a four-part series that invites us all to rethink anger—not as something to fix, but as something that can guide us toward truth, justice, and connection.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast explores the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
Support the show
Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel is back on air—but what about the 300,000+ Black women who have lost jobs since January 2025 and haven’t been given theirs back? In Part 4 of our Open-Hearted Living series, we hold space for this reality while also lifting up communities that are demonstrating what open-hearted living can look like in practice.
From grassroots initiatives to workplaces and neighborhoods built on care and connection, we explore how people are building life-giving alternatives to a world dominated by profit and exclusion.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Join our Patreon for insight-driven tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit and sign up for our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
What does it mean to truly feel with someone else? In this episode of The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we explore empathy—not as a skill or a moral obligation, but as a living, sometimes fragile experience. We talk about how it grows across our lives, when it can feel heavy or conflicted, and how it connects—or sometimes fails to connect—to compassion. This episode is an invitation to notice your own experiences of empathy and to explore how connection shows up in both subtle and profound ways.
Support the show
Fear isn’t always what it seems. In this episode, we explore real vs. imagined fear, how it shows up in our nervous system, and how identity shapes the fears we live with. Stories from our life in Portugal, recent headlines, and listener letters help guide a conversation on moving from fear to freedom and living more openheartedly.
✨ Practical takeaways for noticing and working with fear in your own life.
Support the show
In this episode, we explore why living with an open heart can feel impossible—especially for white folks—and what it might take to shift toward more connection, presence, and curiosity in daily life.
We talk about:
- What it truly means to live open-heartedly
- The challenges whiteness and control culture create in staying open
- Fear, vulnerability, and the tension between safety and openness
- Small, practical ways to practice open-heartedness at home and at work
We also share our nature fact of the week about lodgepole pine cones and fire, reflecting on how disruption can open space for new growth, and announce our upcoming Mindfulness and Compassionate Living Group starting this October!
Join us as we explore the messy, challenging, and deeply rewarding work of opening our hearts to life, connection, and growth.
📲 Follow us on Instagram: @benthecurious + @slowhealingwithjamesa
💌 Subscribe to our newsletter: www.benandjamesa.com
🎙️ Join our Patreon: for self-paced personal growth, insight, and workplace transformation
🔁 Share this episode with someone ready to rethink what it means to live open-heartedly
Support the show
Love isn’t just desire, provision, or possession—yet too often that’s what men are taught to believe. In this episode, we dive into 5 Things Men Don’t Understand About Love, drawing from the wisdom of bell hooks, James Baldwin, and John Makransky.
We explore why love requires vulnerability, accountability, and daily practice—and why true love is always liberation, not control. This isn’t about shaming men, but about breaking free from harmful myths and discovering what real, connected love can look like.
✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:
• The difference between desire, possession, and love
• Why vulnerability is the heart of intimacy
• How love is a daily practice, not just a feeling
• Why accountability matters in relationships
• How love frees us rather than controls us
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Join our Patreon for tools + practices: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
→ Coaching + resources: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Free Connection vs Control Starter Kit: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
Control culture is everywhere—at work, in our relationships, even in how we treat ourselves. But what exactly is it, and how does it quietly shape the way we live, lead, and connect with others?
In today’s episode, we unpack the hidden ways control culture shows up in our lives and explore what it looks like to move toward connection instead. This is the first step in learning how to build workplaces and communities that thrive on trust, accountability, and real humanity.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
Resources & Links:
→ Join our Patreon for tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit to discover your control style and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Call to Action:
If today’s episode helped you name some of the ways control culture shows up in your life, share it with a friend or coworker who might need to hear it. And don’t forget to follow the podcast so you don’t miss Part Two of this series.
Support the show
We’re continuing our series on community with a focus on our very first one—family.
We’ll dig into the growing trend of adult estrangement, explore 4 common causes that fracture connection within families, and share 6 practical steps to begin rebuilding trust and closeness—no matter how old your children are.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Join our Patreon for insight-driven tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit to learn your control style and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
What if our workplaces actually felt like community?
In Part 3 of our series on community, we explore how the harmful patterns of whiteness and control show up in our work lives—and what it would take to build something more human.
We talk about:
🌱 The 4 pillars of building real community at work
🏢 Examples of companies that run without bosses or hierarchy (yes, really)
🌲 Tree communities that pass down trauma wisdom across generations
🇵🇹 Honest reflections on parenting, Portugal, and the pause of summer
💌 Listener letters on community fatigue, healing from harm, and feeling like you have nothing to offer
This episode is for anyone reimagining what leadership, belonging, and accountability can look like—in a system that wasn’t built for any of it.
✨ Join us in the work of replacing control with connection.
—
🔗 Support us on Patreon for extra tools & behind-the-scenes:
https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
📥 Subscribe to our newsletter for monthly reflections + resources:
https://www.benandjamesa.com
📲 Follow us on Instagram:
@benthecurious | @simplyjamesa
Support the show
In Part Two of Community as an Antidote to Whiteness, we name five common ways people unintentionally sabotage the very thing they say they want: community. From profit-chasing to power-seeking, avoidance of vulnerability to lack of accountability—and one surprise obstacle—we unpack how these patterns show up, why they’re rooted in whiteness and control culture, and what it takes to do something different.
We also share a mushroom fact about root entanglement, reflect on our first year living in Portugal, and offer stories from the daily work of choosing connection over performance.
🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.
→ Join our Patreon for weekly tools and insight-driven practices: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa
→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com
→ Download the Connection vs Control Starter Kit: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio
Support the show
What even is community—and how have whiteness and capitalism distorted our understanding of it? In this first episode of our new series, we explore how community has been replaced by performance, productivity, and transactions—and what it means to reclaim it as our birthright. From Trevor Noah’s critique of “buying” connection to our own stories of belonging and rupture, we’re asking the big question: You can’t build what you haven’t defined. So how do we begin?
Support the show
This week on The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we’re talking about what happens when some of America’s brightest minds decide they’ve had enough—and leave. We’re exploring the growing wave of academics and thinkers moving abroad, why it’s happening, and what it says about connection, control, and culture.
We also share a few updates from our lives in Portugal, a new mushroom fact, and our recent brushes with stardom—from thoughtful conversations to unexpected spotlights.
Let’s get into it.
Support the show
This Fourth of July, we’re unpacking the irony of a holiday built on freedom—while whiteness continues to rely on control. We explore how white people can move from control to connection using our CACTI model: Compassion, Accountability, Curiosity, Transparency, and Insight. Real freedom doesn’t come from dominance—it comes from unlearning.
We’re also talking about tree shyness—yes, it’s a real thing—and the wild experience of watching airplanes land at Madeira’s famously intense airport. Come for the reflection, stay for the turbulence.
Support the show
This week, we explore how violence—whether in relationships, policing, or foreign policy—is normalized and often celebrated in white American culture. Drawing from our experience in domestic violence work, we unpack how control, blame, and force show up not just interpersonally but systemically. We also respond to a listener’s discomfort with the idea of Black joy, revealing how even joy can be seen as a threat within a culture built on control. Plus: a São João festival story and a sleepy fungi fact.
Support the show
In this episode, we dig into the discomfort, resentment, and backlash that often show up when Black joy takes center stage—especially around holidays like Juneteenth. We explore why white supremacy depends on Black suffering, how joy becomes an act of resistance, and what it reveals about white identity when that joy is met with hostility. Jamesa shares personal stories, we unpack current headlines, and yes—there’s even a mushroom fact.
Support the show
This week, we’re joined by the brilliant Eckoes, creator behind one of our favorite social media accounts, Shit I Have a Problem With. We get into what it actually means to have a problem with something — and how to do it in a way that doesn’t just center your ego or shut the whole thing down. We talk about why discomfort isn’t the enemy, how calling something out can still leave room for connection, and why the goal isn’t to always be agreeable — it’s to be real.
We also reflect on Portugal’s quiet commitment to celebration, even (and especially) when there’s nothing “big” to celebrate. And we take a look at the recycled, racist narratives around immigration in both the U.S. and the U.K. — and why it’s not just the policies that are harmful, but the stories we keep telling to justify them.
Support the show
In this episode, we dive into the four F’s—Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—and how these survival responses can derail us from doing the right thing, especially in moments that call for courage, clarity, or connection. We unpack how these patterns show up in leadership, relationships, and everyday life—and share practical ways to navigate them more effectively.
And of course, we sprinkle in real stories from our life here in Portugal—because healing and humor go hand in hand.
Support the show
What do phrases like “pro-life,” “law and order,” and “family values” have in common?
They sound virtuous—but they’re often just control, dressed up as morality.
In this episode, Ben and Jamesa—coming to you from our life here in Portugal—unpack how language that sounds good on the surface can actually be a tool for domination, silence, and harm. We explore how these phrases shape everything from public policy to workplace culture, and how control often hides behind ideas that seem unassailable.
We also share what it means to move beyond that—to lead and live with more honesty, more discomfort, and a lot more connection.
Support the show
We hear it all the time: “Of course I hate racism.”
But when we start looking a little deeper — into silence, avoidance, who we protect, and what we’re willing to give up — the picture gets murkier.
In this episode, we’re talking honestly about the gap between intention and impact when it comes to anti-racism. We get into:
- Why it’s easier to say the right thing than to live differently
- How control, comfort, and avoidance keep racism alive
- What the recent Google discrimination lawsuit tells us about what’s still happening across workplaces — big and small
- And why not being racist is nowhere near enough
This isn’t about guilt or performance. It’s about getting honest, choosing discomfort, and doing something real with the privilege we’ve got.
Let’s get into it.
Support the show
If you’ve ever wondered where to begin with this podcast, this is the one. In our season 9 opener, we bring you into the heart of our work: building a community rooted in letting go of control and choosing connection.
We explore the recent Portuguese elections—how voting works here, what’s at stake, and how it all contrasts with the U.S. political system.
Then we dig into something heavier: Black Fatigue. A term originally created to describe the long-term physical and emotional toll of racism on Black people, now being twisted by some white folks to describe their own weariness with conversations about race. We unpack the irony, the harm, and the deeper truths behind that reaction.
And as always, we’ll mix in some recent happenings from our family life, a thoughtful listener letter, and Ben’s ongoing irritation with foot-specific socks.
Join us for another conversation about meaningful connection.
Support the show
In this episode, we dive into the viral video of a white woman calling a Black child the N-word—and the jaw-dropping fact that she made over $600K in donations afterward. We unpack what this says about whiteness, dehumanization, and the selective empathy that shields white perpetrators while abandoning Black children. We also talk about the staggering global indifference to the suffering of children in Gaza and the disturbing patterns in white responses to harm—especially when the victims aren’t white.
But it’s not all heavy. We also share some real, raw, and hilarious tales from our own parenting lives—because raising kids while trying to raise consciousness means you’ve got to find the humor somewhere. Join us for an episode that holds both outrage and tenderness, grief and laughter, all at once.
Support the show
In today’s episode, Ben and Jamesa reflect on the recent blackout in Portugal and what it revealed about control, flexibility, and unexpected stillness. They also dive into insights sparked by the film A Real Pain, exploring themes of grief, family dynamics, mental health, and the lifelong practice of learning to get along. It’s a conversation about disruption, connection, and what we carry with us—whether the lights are on or not.
Support the show
In this episode of Ben and Jamesa, we dive into the intersection of neurodivergence and social justice, exploring what it means to live as a neurospicy family in a world built for neurotypical norms. We unpack RFK Jr.’s recent comments about autism and why pathologizing neurodivergence is both harmful and outdated. From emotional sensitivity to sensory needs, we share how our neurospicyness shapes the way we move through parenting, relationships, and justice work. We also explore how neurodivergent folks often have a heightened sensitivity to injustice—and how that can become a superpower in dismantling systems rooted in control, conformity, and suppression.
Support the show
In this episode, we explore what it really means to step outside your comfort zone—whether that’s moving across the world, engaging with unfamiliar identities, or sitting with uncomfortable truths about privilege and power.
We kick things off with Jamesa’s personal journey into expat life and her new focus on coaching individuals and families through the emotional and identity-shifting realities of living abroad. From there, we dive into the deeper discomfort many people—especially those with dominant identities—avoid: confronting the ways they’ve been shielded from discomfort through systems of power.
We unpack how intersectionality shapes who gets to stay comfortable, who doesn't, and why leaving your comfort zone is essential for personal growth and collective liberation. We also reflect on recent headlines that show what happens when people resist change, and we answer a listener question on neurodivergence, accountability, and doing “white people work” without shutting down.
Support the show
In this episode, we dive into Adolescence, Netflix’s hit series on toxic masculinity, disconnection, and the Manosphere. We break down how the show illustrates the Hero-Victim-Offender (HVO) Cycle—the pattern that keeps men trapped in harmful identities—and what it reveals about power, control, and connection.
We also answer a key listener question: What’s the difference between therapy and therapeutic coaching?
Tune in for a deep dive into Adolescence, masculinity, and breaking free from cycles of harm.
Support the show
In this episode of the Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we explore what it truly takes to care for yourself deeply—beyond bubble baths and quick fixes—so that you can show up fully for your family, your community, and the world. We discuss life changes, including navigating the emotional and physical shifts that come with aging and menopause, and how embracing self-care as a transformative practice can enhance resilience and connection.
We also take a look at some inspiring headlines from around the globe, reminding us that even amidst the chaos, there are always stories of hope, progress, and humanity shining through. Tune in for an honest, compassionate conversation about change, connection, and the power of showing up for yourself first.
Don't forget to subscribe, share, and let us know your thoughts! 🌱
Support the show
In this episode, we break down the latest headlines and the recurring theme of white empathy deficits shaping public discourse. We unpack the return of segregation—not in name, but in practice—as systemic choices continue to isolate and exclude marginalized communities. And in a sharp left turn, we also talk about menopause—because if society refuses to discuss it, we will! From brain fog to surprise hot flashes in the middle of a meeting, we get into why menopause is basically puberty’s grumpy older sister and why everyone (yes, even you) should care.
Support the show
In this episode, we dive into the latest headlines and why the fight for Black lives is far from over. We share more details about our move out of the country, unpack the realities of white empathy (and when it’s more harmful than helpful), and discuss the erasure of Black Lives Matter Plaza. From systemic shifts to personal reflections, we break down what these moments mean for the ongoing struggle for justice—and why we refuse to let the conversation fade.
Tune in, share, and keep pushing forward. Black lives STILL matter.
🎧 Listen now!
Support the show
"Be More Curious"
Curiosity isn’t just a personality trait—it’s a tool for liberation. This week, we’re diving into why being more curious is essential for challenging the oppressive systems that shape our world.
First, we take you behind the scenes of our decision to leave the U.S. and why Portugal became our new home. Then, we break down some of the week’s wildest headlines—Zelensky at the White House, and Ben Shapiro’s outrageous call to pardon Derek Chauvin (yes, really).
But the heart of this episode is a bigger conversation: Why does curiosity matter in the fight against white supremacy? How does asking better questions help us disrupt harmful narratives? And what happens when we refuse to accept the status quo?
Get ready for an episode that will challenge you, maybe even make you uncomfortable—but most of all, inspire you to be more curious.
Support the show
We’re kicking off a brand-new season with a fresh structure, new ways for you to engage, and even bigger conversations! And what better way to start than by tackling the question we get asked the most—Are all white people racist? Buckle up, because we’re diving into the real meaning behind this question, the reactions it sparks, and what it reveals about race in America. Plus, we break down the week’s biggest headlines, share the personal stories that made us realize it was time to take a break from America, and introduce exciting new ways for you to be part of the conversation. You don’t want to miss this one!
Support the show
This week, we’re talking about the myth of self-sufficiency and why community matters more than ever. From recent headlines to personal reckonings, we dig into how toxic individualism is making life harder for everyone—and what we can do about it.
Also, are we getting a divorce? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, we’re working through it on the mic. And finally, the age-old debate: Man Flu vs. Woman Flu—who actually suffers more? (Spoiler: One of us has thoughts.)
Tune in for real talk, real laughs, and maybe even some real solutions.
Support the show
In this special Valentine’s Day episode, we dive into the intersection of joy, resistance, and the state of the world. From the Super Bowl halftime show to the challenges of celebrating love amid societal chaos, we explore how we can continue to celebrate joy, connection, and humanity when white supremacy is actively tearing the country apart.
We’ll reflect on the ways that the media, politics, and cultural events like the Super Bowl can distract or unify us, and how we can harness the power of love and celebration in the face of such challenges. How do we hold space for joy while acknowledging the systems of oppression that threaten it?
Join us for a candid conversation on how we navigate these contradictions—keeping love at the center, even when the world feels like it’s on the brink. Let’s explore how joy can be a radical act in a time when the stakes are higher than ever.
Support the show
This week, we've seen headlines that prove—yet again—how white silence protects power. These moments aren’t just happening in the news; they’re happening in your workplace, your community, and your home too.
Too often, white people choose comfort over accountability. They stay quiet when:
🚨 A Black colleague is interrupted in a meeting.
🚨 A racist “joke” lands, and everyone nervously laughs.
🚨 A qualified Black employee is overlooked for a promotion—again.
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t want to make this awkward”—this episode is for you. Because avoiding discomfort doesn’t make racism disappear. It just makes it easier for it to thrive.
Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, and let’s get uncomfortable for the right reasons.
Support the show
We had some audio issues this episode, but... Trump’s first week back in power is already showing us exactly what we feared—escalating authoritarianism, attacks on marginalized communities, and a playbook straight out of history’s darkest chapters. We break down what’s happening and what we need to be paying attention to. Then, we shift to Black History Month in the workplace—where performative allyship runs wild, corporate statements fall flat, and real change is often nowhere to be found. Why do so many companies get it wrong? And what does true accountability look like? Tune in for an unfiltered conversation on politics, race, and the workplace.
Support the show
In this powerful episode, we explore Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy through the lens of our CACTI model, focusing on Compassion vs. Politeness. We discuss how Dr. King’s approach to justice and humanity emphasized the courage to act with true compassion—speaking hard truths, challenging the status quo, and dismantling systems of oppression.
Join us as we unpack the difference between compassion, which seeks meaningful change, and politeness, which often prioritizes comfort over progress. We reflect on what Dr. King’s teachings mean for us today and how we can lead with compassionate courage in our lives and workplaces.
🎙️ Tune in for an honest, heartfelt conversation about the transformative power of compassion, the perils of politeness, and the work that still lies ahead.
MLKDay #CompassionNotPoliteness #CACTIModel #LeadWithHumanity
Support the show
In this reflective and heartfelt episode, Ben and Jamesa look back on the year 2024, sharing meaningful moments, personal growth, and lessons learned. Through thoughtful questions and candid conversation, they revisit the highs, lows, and everything in between that defined their year together. Tune in for an inspiring journey through the past year, filled with insights and a touch of nostalgia.
Support the show
In this episode, we dive into the CACTI model—Curiosity, Accountability, Compassion, Transparency, and Insight—and explore how these principles can help you shift from control to connection in both your professional and personal life. We’ll unpack the opposites of each principle, such as Compassion vs. Politeness and Curiosity vs. Judgment, to show how small shifts can lead to profound changes in relationships and leadership. Whether you're striving to build trust at work or deepen personal connections, this episode offers actionable steps and reflections to guide your journey toward authentic engagement and meaningful connection.
Support the show
This holiday season, let’s trade the stress of keeping up with traditions for the joy of slowing down and connecting more deeply. In this episode, Ben and Jamesa get real about 5 Ways to Decenter Whiteness During the Holidays—from ditching toxic positivity and embracing real emotions to shifting focus from consumerism to authentic connection. We’ll explore how slowing down, being intentional, and creating space for inclusion can transform your celebrations into something truly meaningful. Join us for an honest, thoughtful, and heartwarming conversation about making the holidays a time of healing and togetherness!
Support the show
Is your workplace built to include everyone—or does it unknowingly center whiteness? In this episode, we break down five clear signs that white-centered culture might be shaping your organization. From communication styles to decision-making processes, we explore how these patterns show up and the impact they have on inclusion, equity, and productivity. Tune in for actionable insights and steps you can take to help your workplace move toward true diversity and belonging.
Support the show
In this episode, Ben shares five actionable steps he’s taking as a white man post-election to challenge systemic racism, foster accountability, and support collective healing. Jamesa offers insight and critiques to push the conversation deeper. Let’s move beyond awareness into action.
Support the show
In this episode, "5 Things This Black Woman is Doing in the Next Four Years," Jamesa shares her personal plan for thriving amid ongoing challenges, offering inspiration and practical advice for other Black women. From prioritizing radical self-care and creating boundaries to cultivating joy, amplifying Black voices, and nurturing community healing, Jamesa highlights actions that empower and sustain. This episode is a heartfelt guide for Black women to navigate the coming years with strength, intention, and resilience, rooted in love and collective support.
Support the show
In 6 Things White People Need to Stop Doing After the Election, Ben and Jamesa share candid insights on navigating the post-election landscape. The episode outlines key actions white people should avoid, like performative campaigns and forcing engagement with Black people, and emphasizes the importance of listening, recognizing privilege, and making genuine change. Join Ben and Jamesa for a heartfelt discussion on authentic allyship and resilience.
Support the show
In this 7 season opener, Ben and Jamesa dive deep into the emotional and relational turbulence of election season, highlighting how to stay grounded when everything around you feels chaotic. They unpack the essential distinctions between self-care and self-indulgence, offering insights on practices that support resilience rather than escapism. For those navigating challenging dynamics with family members who hold different political beliefs, Ben and Jamesa provide strategies to manage these relationships with compassion and clear boundaries, helping listeners maintain both inner peace and authenticity during high-stress times.
Support the show
In this thought-provoking episode, we sit down with bestselling author Soraya Chemaly to dive into the complexities surrounding the concept of resilience, especially as it relates to race. We explore the idea of resilience as a cultural expectation—asking whether it truly empowers or instead serves to uphold systemic inequalities. Soraya shares insights from her book, The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, challenging the narrative that communities of color must be endlessly resilient in the face of oppression. Together, we discuss the impact of this narrative on marginalized communities, how it intersects with race and gender, and what it means for our understanding of healing and justice. As we transition to the next season of our podcast, focused on our own journey of racial awareness and healing, we consider whether it's time to redefine what true strength and support look like.
Support the show
In this episode, 'Neurospicyness and Race,' Ben shares his experiences as an autistic white man, while Jamesa opens up about her journey with an ADHD diagnosis as a Black woman. Together, they explore how their neurodivergence intersects with their experiences of race, discussing the challenges, strengths, and unique perspectives that come from navigating the world through these lenses.
Support the show
In this episode, we sit down with graphic novelist and historian Joel Christian Gill to explore the untold stories of Black history and their lasting impact on our understanding of race today. Joel shares how his work uncovers forgotten figures and pivotal moments in American history that have been erased or overlooked, and why reclaiming these narratives is essential for collective healing. We discuss the power of storytelling as a tool for justice, the intersection of art and activism, and how re-learning history can challenge and transform our understanding of systemic racism. This is a rich, enlightening conversation about the role of art in reshaping the future and the importance of recognizing the stories that have shaped our past. Tune in for an episode that will inspire reflection and action.
Support the show
In this week’s episode of the Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we dive into how states like Florida and Texas are using voter roll purges to disenfranchise Black voters and marginalized communities. We’ll break down why this matters and explore the latest current events. Plus, Ben might just give us a sneak peek into his and Jamesa’s upcoming anniversary plans! Tune in for an insightful and timely conversation.
Yesterday, Marcellus Williams was executed despite lingering doubts about his conviction, sparking renewed conversations about racial injustice. In this episode, we reflect on Williams' case and examine the dissonance many white people experience when faced with uncomfortable truths about systemic racism. We delve into what happens when white discomfort leads to inaction and how accountability requires moving beyond dissonance to engage in meaningful, collective change. Join us for a powerful discussion on how to confront and transform the barriers that prevent true racial justice.
In this episode of the Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we tackle the headlines that continue to demand Black women remain calm and composed. From social media backlash to public figures, we explore how the "angry Black woman" stereotype persists and why reclaiming our right to express anger is key to challenging these narratives and dismantling oppressive norms.
In this episode, Ben and Jamesa dive into the tragic reality of the latest school shooting, examining it through the lens of race, media coverage, and societal narratives. Titled "More White on White Violence," this discussion challenges the silence and framing around violence in predominantly white communities, while exploring why these acts are rarely analyzed as a part of larger systemic issues. Together, they break down how race influences our understanding of tragedy, asking hard questions about accountability, culture, and the role media plays in shaping public perception.
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation that reframes the narrative around school violence in America.
In this episode of the Ben and Jamesa Podcast, titled "Don't Put That in Your Mouth," we dive into the surprising history of how cigarette companies moved into the processed food industry. We explore the tactics Big Tobacco used to make unhealthy foods as addictive as their cigarettes, and the long-term health problems this has caused, especially in vulnerable communities. Join us as we uncover the dark side of corporate greed and its impact on public health.
Why do people like JD Vance continually attack women but yet claim to be the family values party? Why does the "pro-life" party allow humans to be cooked inside their prison cells? Join Ben and Jamesa (plus their friend Deb) to learn more about the cognitive dissonance of white supremacy and patriarchy.
What the hell was going on with the Break dancer from Australia, and how does this symbolize how white people operate in this world? Well join our conversation to find out as Ben and Jamesa take a look at the Olympics and other events from the past week to help you decolonize your thinking.
With the announcement of Kamala Harris's bid for the president's office came the predictable white supremacist dog whistles attempting to minimize her successes and qualifications. One of the loudest dog whistles was to call her a DEI hire. This is common among white people when they see Black women breaking the glass ceilings placed over them and on today's episode, Ben and Jamesa discuss the irony of this judgment considering all the white supremacist hires throughout America's history.
Have you noticed the tropes used to diminish the election campaign of Vice President Harris and other Black women in leadership roles? On today's episode, Ben and Jamesa discuss the trends in these tropes, why they are problematic, and what you can do about them. Join the conversation!
Have you ever looked at how violence is used to engage or disengage people from the political process? On today's episode, Ben and Jamesa review the different ways white people have used violence to disenfranchise political minorities and compare that to recent headlines. They also discuss how this is their last episode on American soil, and what you can expect next.
When democracies move towards dictatorships there are specific patterns that they follow. On today's episode, Ben and Jamesa look at current events to decipher if we are currently on that path as a country.
Where would you move to if you could move anywhere in the world, or would you stay put? In today's episode, Ben and Jamesa discuss their upcoming move to Portugal, what they are excited about, and what they will miss, all while discussing recent headlines that, in part, drove their decision to take a break from America.
After a recent outing to a pride festival and encountering a group of white evangelical protestors, Jamesa and Ben wondered how white people are so confident that they are right and everyone else is wrong. They review some recent news stories and are joined by a special guest to help unpack this topic.
Have you ever heard of compassion dissonance? or compassion hierarchy? On today's episode we explore how these concepts allow white people and others to be selectively compassionate. Join Ben and Jamesa as they explore todays news headlines through the lens of compassionate curiosity.
Are you curious how racist you are, or if non-white people can be racist? Join Ben and Jamesa as they review these questions and more using examples from the latest headlines to explain.
Have you ever wondered why White people act like the judge and jury when Black people are in trouble, but act like social workers when people who look like them get in trouble? We explore these questions and more and their toes to toxic individuality, and the cost that has on society.
Ben and Jamesa are joined by international recording artist Eckoes, who shares her take on the problems with how people talk about race as well as sharing some of her music and a previously unheard track! Join the colorful conversation and grow in your ability to lead with compassionate curiosity.
Ben and Jamesa discuss several recent news stories through an anti-racist lens while Jamesa refuses to apologize for calling Ben "Hannibal Lecter" while wearing his new CPAP mask.
Jamesa attended a high school marked by the painful legacy of segregation. During a recent visit to her mother for Mother's Day in the town she went to High School, she and Ben engaged in a poignant conversation. They delved into the unsettling reality that many within the white community remain resistant to understanding the profound impact of historical injustices on the Black community.
Ben and Jamesa are joined by New York Times best-selling author Margot Starbuck and Licensed Independent Social Worker Deb Riley to discuss white women's tears in the workplace. In a recent episode, Jamesa mentioned a study that showed that Black women would rather work with white men than white women, so Ben, Jamesa, Margot, and Deb explore why.
Ben and Jamesa discuss this week's headlines through a colorFULL conversation deep in compassionate curiosity and humor. A big theme this week was white people losing their damn minds, so sit back, relax, and let Jamesa and Ben walk you through their take on the week's headlines.
We often talk on the podcast about compassionate curiosity, and today, we start to break down this term, what it means, and how to let it lead your life. Join Ben, Jamesa, and Amine as they scour the headlines and help you develop your compassionate curiosity.
Andrea Morehead, a 7 time emmy winning journalist, joins the team to discuss abusive work environments and what you can do about it.
We discuss the recent success of Dawn Staely and the Carolina Gamecock's unbeaten season and review why white people find it so difficult to observe and participate in Black Joy!
Ben's back from his trip to Portugal! The pod crew discusses their hueless hooligan of the week, featuring Alex Murdaugh, Julie Delpy, and more, as well as other news headlines such as the ongoing P. Diddy case.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
The crew continues their conversation with Bhoke from last week, discussing the impacts of colonialism on modern day racism around the world.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
Season 6 is upon us! This season Ben, Jamesa, and Amine will host guests to discuss their experiences with race in their respective fields as well as their opinions on recent headlines in the news as they come up. In this episode, Bhoke joins the show to talk about racism in Canada vs Tanzania.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
The podcast continues with it's series on Women's History Month! They discuss Nia DaCosta, Caitlin Clark, Katie Britt, and more! Ben and Jamesa also discuss their surprising upcoming plans.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
Happy Women's History Month! The crew bring in the new month with a discussion on intersectionality, news regarding women's rights around America, and much more!
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
It's the last in our Black History Month series. Jamesa, Ben, and Amine close out the month discussing recent events and news headlines that highlight the racism and white people s%^$t in America.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
As Black History Month continues Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss recent events and news headlines that highlight the racism and white people s%^$t in America, from Trump's new sneaker scam to international news.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious and @SimplyJamesa.
The crew continues to celebrate Black History Month by challenging the White People S$@t featured in many of the recent news headlines. They discuss the Super Bowl, the massacre in Rafah, Joe Biden, and much more.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
As we continue to celebrate Black History Month Jamesa, Ben, and Amine talk about current events and how to mitigate the white people s$!t featured within them.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
Happy Black History Month! Join the crew (and Deb) as they discuss ways to better celebrate black history and help foster safe spaces for Black people in America that extend beyond the month.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
What would you do if your child was dismissed from school because they didn't like their haircut? In this episode Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss the Crown Act in recent headlines and other double standards that exist in racism in America.
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
It's almost election time in America, who are you voting for to bring change in 2024? Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss their thoughts on recent news regarding the current electoral process, the upcoming election, and more!
You can follow us for more content on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
Joan joins Ben and Amine to continue the conversation from the previous episode and discuss more things that white people should stop doing in this new year to foster more inclusive and safe environments for the people around them.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss things white people do that should be abandoned in 2024 to foster more inclusive and safe environments for the people around them.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen or on Instagram @BenTheCurious.
Happy New Year! In this episode, the crew discusses what their 2023 experience was like, and what they expect from or look forward to in the upcoming new year.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen, on Instagram @BenTheCurious
In this year-end wrap up Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss many of the highlights (and lowlights) of 2023, from the battle of Montgomery, to the Israel-Palestine situation, Keke Palmer and Usher, and much more!
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen, on Instagram @BenTheCurious
What holidays will your culture celebrate this season? Join Jamesa, Amine, and Ben as they discuss their own holiday traditions, and the harmful habit of non-inclusivity during the holiday season.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen, on Instagram @BenTheCurious
Are we really #1? In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss American Exceptionalism, the thinking errors that come with it, and the importance of recognizing areas of improvement.
You will also be able to watch each episode on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen, on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
Who makes the best CEO? Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss an article published recently that concluded black women make the best CEOs, despite the headwinds they face on the way there.
You will also be able to watch each episode on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen, on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
In this episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine talk about the Congo, the lack of news coverage around the situation, and what we can do to support those who need it.
You will also be able to watch each episode on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
You can follow us on TikTok @TheCuriousBen, on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
How much is the trauma around you impacting your day-to-day life? In this episode, Jamesa and Ben discuss how the trauma that we hear and learn about can impact our own emotional well being.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @TheCuriousBen Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
Cats or dogs, Israel or Palestine, Congo and Sudan. The crew discusses how people often pick and choose teams to support, even in news cycles, and how this affects our abilities to see situations clearly.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @TheCuriousBen Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
In this episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine tackle a number of headlines from the week using the three trees of change, and the healing habit of not taking yourself so seriously.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @TheCuriousBen Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
The international news that everyone is talking about. This episode of The Ben & Jamesa (plus Amine) podcast focuses on the Israel and Palestine conflict, and how to incorporate the three trees of change when navigating the emotions we experience as we learn more.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @TheCuriousBen Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
Are we curious enough about the headlines we see on a day to day basis? How would being more curious rather than knowing impact our lives? In this episode of The Ben & Jamesa (plus Amine) podcast, the crew talks about news stories like Israel and Palestine, giraffe poop jewelery, Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, and more!
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @TheCuriousBen Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
The Harmful Habits Podcast is now The Ben & Jamesa (plus Amine) Podcast! We will be continuing our theme of discussing the Three Trees of Change in current events. In today's episode they discuss a teacher with an OnlyFans page, Wally the Alligator, and much more!
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @CuriousBenConsulting.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @TheCuriousBen Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @BenTheCurious and YouTube @CuriousBenConsulting
Too often, the beliefs we follow are based more on our emotions than logic. In this episode, Jamesa, Amine, and Ben talk about psilocybin as a psychological treatment, more Deb theories, empathy in animals, and other stories in the news.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesofChange Thursdays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @ThreeTreesCenter and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast
What is cognitive dissonance and what does it look like around us? In this episode Jamesa, Ben, and Amine talk about cognitive dissonance in current news stories, what it looks like, and how to challenge it.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesofChange Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @ThreeTreesCenter and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast
New season alert! Ben, Jamesa, and Amine kick off this season by talking about recent headlines like pig kidney transplants, Coach Deion Sanders, the search for the Loch Ness monster, and how so many of our opinions derive from our emotions and not our logic. Tune in to review how you form your opinions.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesofChange Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @ThreeTreesCenter and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast
We are back with our season 4 finale! In this episode, Jamesa, Amine, and Ben talk about the prevalence of systemic racism in workplaces.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesofChange Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @ThreeTreesCenter and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast
Jamesa, Ben, and Amine kick this episode off by discussing the recent Battle of Birmingham before delving into other current events featuring issues of racism.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesofChange Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram @Healing_in_the_Wild and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast
How is violence related to racism? In this episode Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss the direct correlation between violence/harmful habits and racism.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HarmfulHabitsPodcast Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
How harmful can microaggressions be? Join the conversation as Ben, Jamesa, and Amine describe the impacts microaggressions have on those from different racial backgrounds, and what can be done to navigate through them.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HarmfulHabitsPodcast Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
Do you talk to your kids about race? Jamesa, Amine, and Ben discuss strategies on developmentally appropriate race conversations with children of all ages.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HarmfulHabitsPodcast Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine talk about racism on a spectrum rather than a binary, and how this helps create better opportunities for change.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HarmfulHabitsPodcast Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HarmfulHabitsPodcast and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
What does it mean to be an ally? Tune in as the Harmful Habits Podcast crew discusses ways to better be an ally to people from marginalized and minority communities!
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
We are kicking off Season 4 of the Harmful Habits Podcast with a focus on Race in America and how it relates to the CBI topics we talked about in previous episodes.
You will also be able to watch Jamesa, Ben, and Amine in each episode moving forward on our YouTube channel @HealingHarmfulHabits.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
It's the Season 3 Finale! In our 50th episode ever, the Harmful Habits Podcast crew discusses neurospicyness in families, including their personal experiences with neurodiversity.
We will be resuming with Season 4 in a few weeks. Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
What part of your triune brain are you responding to daily stimuli with? What part do our kids usually respond using? In this episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss the triune brain theory, what it means, and how it relates to decision making in our day-to-day lives.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
How diverse are the people you choose to spend time with? How do you think this impacts the way you see the world around you? Join the Harmful Habits Podcast crew as they discuss their experiences in multicultural families.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
What emotions arise when you feel that you are not being listened to or heard? Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss the healing habit of deep listening in families, and the painful emotions that can result from a lack thereof.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
Taking accountability for mistakes we make is an important skill in developing healthy relationships, especially in families. In this episode, Ben and Jamesa explain what it is to hold yourself accountable, and what issues arise when we do not do so.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
What is an area of life that you feel is not better understood by placing it on a spectrum? Jamesa, Amine, and Ben talk about replacing the harmful habit of binary thinking in parenting and families with the healthier habits of spectrum thinking and curiosity.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
How well do you and your family communicate? What communication styles do you tend to use and what are their effects? In this episode Jamesa, Ben, and Amine go over the different communication styles, what they look like, and their potential impacts.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
Don't "should" all over yourself! It's episode 9 in season 3 and in this episode the Harmful Habits Podcast crew discuss gender roles in families, where they come from, and good practices to stay in the "green" of managing these roles in our families.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
Are you emotionally regulated as you navigate your day to day situations? In this episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine talk about the importance of regulating our own emotions prior to making decisions and how this can benefit our families.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits Fridays at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! You can also follow us on Instagram and YouTube @HealingHarmfulHabits and Twitter @BenAndJamesa
If you search the word "healthy" in your phone's emoji and gif gallery, what comes up? In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss how to talk about sexual health and intimacy within our families, the benefits of doing so, and the harm of not doing so.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @HealingHarmfulHabits every Friday at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! We are also live on TikTok Mondays and Wednesdays at Noon EST, so please feel free to join the conversation!
It's part two of our two-parter! Jamesa, Ben, and Amine continue their discussion on building resilient families and developing skillful mindfulness practices.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesChange every Friday at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! We are also live on TikTok most weekdays at Noon EST, so please feel free to join the conversation!
In the first part of this two part episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine introduce the topic of building resilience in our families, the benefits of doing so, and using mindfulness practices to help with this.
Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesChange every Friday at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! We are also live on TikTok most weekdays at Noon EST, so please feel free to join the conversation!
All too often, we place the people in our lives in defined, specific boxes. In this episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine talk about the harmful habit of creating rigid identities for ourselves and our family members, and what we can do instead. Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesChange every Friday at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode! We are also live on TikTok every weekday at Noon and 9PM EST, so please feel free to join the conversation!
In this episode, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss the importance of having boundaries within our families and why we need to assertively reset boundaries when they are crossed. Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesChange every Friday at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode!
Our third season continues as Ben and Jamesa explain how our F3 can be triggered in families and how it can lead to harmful habits, as well as the importance of going back to the R2 prior to dealing with situations. Each episode this season will be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesChange every Friday at Noon Eastern Time. Questions and comments are welcome as we record the episode!
Season 3 of The Harmful Habits podcast is upon us! Each episode this season will also be aired live on our TikTok @ThreeTreesChange Fridays at noon, so feel free to join us and ask questions or make comments as we record. Join Jamesa and Ben in this episode as they discuss how the drama cycle is often experienced within families and ways it can be avoided.
Get to know Three Trees Center for Change's very own Executive Director, Jamesa! In our season 2 finale, Jamesa tells us a little about herself, her current role, and what our listeners can expect in Season 3. Feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments on our socials at ThreeTreesChange or on our website at threetreescenterforchange.com
Join us for this unique episode where the 3 Black Women team sit down with Ben to discuss what Caucasian men get right and wrong about interacting with black women and so much more! Be a part of the conversation on our Instagram or TikTok @ThreeTreesChange or reach out to us at threetreescenterforchange.com
It's a Holiday Special! Join the Harmful Habits Podcast crew as they talk about the importance of assertively setting boundaries during the holiday season. Be a part of the conversation on our Instagram or TikTok @ThreeTreesChange or reach out to us at threetreescenterforchange.com to share your experiences during this time of the year!
The Harmful Habits Podcast crew is back to discuss consent and the importance of it in both sexual and nonsexual situations. Jamesa, Jennifer, Ben, and Amine share stories of the discomfort they would feel when consent was ignored, and how we can avoid creating this same discomfort for others. Tune in and join the conversation on TikTok and Instagram @threetreeschange or on our website at threetreescenterforchange.com
Jamesa, Ben, and Jamesa are joined by two new guests, Kevin and Chrissy, to discuss stages of a relationship. The crew talks about their experiences with the stages, as well as things to do and things to avoid in each. Tune in and join the conversation on instagram @threetreeschange or on our website at threetreescenterforchange.com
They're back! Jamesa and Jennifer are joined by returning guests Joan and Amber to discuss being a women in our society. They discuss similarities and differences in their experiences being a black or white woman in America. Tune in and join the conversation on instagram @threetreeschange or on our website at threetreescenterforchange.com
The Harmful Habits Podcast team are joined by Lisa (from the Grief episode) and her best friend, Jay, for a very unique episode. They share with us the hardships they faced as Jay was struggling with alcohol and Lisa's experience as his supportive best friend. They discussed what worked well and what did not work at all on Jay's path to sobriety. Tune in and join the conversation with us on our instagram @ThreeTreesChange or connect with us on our website at threetreescenterforchange.com
The Harmful Habits Podcast crew discuss the topic of adult friendships. They share some of the challenges they've faced while trying to make friends as adults, and discuss ways that they have built strong friendships in the past. Tune in and feel free to share your own experiences with us on our socials or at threetreescenterforchange.com
It's another episode of our year of giving up! Jennifer, Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss their experiences going a month without complaining and the difficulties they experienced doing so. They also agreed on what they will be giving up this month. Feel free to join us in our next month of giving up and let us know how it goes!
Part 2 of the podcast takeover! Jamesa, Joan, Amber, and Amine pick up where they left off on part 1. Tune in for some laughs and to hear more of their experiences as minorities in our community.
It's a podcast takeover! In this special two-part episode, Jamesa and Amine are joined by Amber and Joan to discuss their experiences as minorities in America. Tune in and join us for this one-of-a-kind episode, and feel free to share your experiences with us on instagram @threetreeschange or on our website threetreescenterforchange.com
Drive it like you paid a lot of money for it! In this episode, the crew discusses the Car of Experience. This activity helps us demonstrate how we often allow our emotions to dictate our actions and the problems this can create. Join us and feel free to share your experience with this exercise on our socials or at threetreescenterforchange.com
In this installment, the Harmful Habits Podcast team engage in the Great Egg Debate to demonstrate that emotions rather than logic tend to dictate the truths we hold dear. Tune in to learn how to more effectively change your mind and the minds of others!
In this episode we continue our year of giving up! Jamesa, Ben, Jennifer and Amine discuss their month of giving up meat, the struggles that they faced in doing so, and whether or not this is a change they wish to continue implementing in their lives. They also discuss what they will give up next month, and you are all invited to join them and tell us how it goes!
On this special episode Ben, Jamesa, and Amine are joined by Lisa, whose 8 year old son died in an accident in 2021. Lisa shares the emotions she experiences on a daily basis, as well as the things that other people do that have and have not helped her throughout this time, despite their best intentions. Join us for this episode to learn how to care for loved ones as they experience grief, or for yourself on your own journey of grief.
Have you ever wondered where we learn about the rules of our gender? In today's episode Jennifer, Amine, Jamesa, and Ben discuss gender boxes and the rules that society implicitly and explicitly places on gender behaviors and roles, and some of the prolems these rules cause. Join us to explore this topic and self assess the impact the gender box rules have on your life.
Remember playing Rock, Paper, Scissors? Well, in today's show the Harmful Habits team is going to show you why these three objects are perfect representations of the different stages behaviors go through as they change. So join Amine, Jamesa, Ben, and Jennifer as they discuss and examine the stages of change.
It's our first episode of season 2! Amine, Ben, Jamesa, and a brand new host discuss their month of giving up using their phones for entertainment. In doing so, they introduce the model that is used at Three Trees to help organizations and individuals create shifts, the Cognitive Behavioral Inquiry (CBI) model. Join them as they investigate what they learned, what they changed, and what they struggled with so that you can learn from and laugh along their journey!
This episode is the first of a monthly segment where Amine, Ben, and Jamesa decide together on a behavior to give up for the month and then report back on how it went, what they learned, and if they are going to keep the change. This past month they gave up alcohol. Tune in to see how it went and who was able to abstain and who was not.... Spoiler Alert: Ben and Jamesa have different versions of each other's success!
This a special episode that is quite unlike any of our previous episodes. We hung out at the Rock Hill Pride Festival and asked members of the LGBTQIA+ community and their allies about what this festival meant to them and what the rest of the community could learn from their experiences. This festival is a one of a kind experience where a small conservative town has decided to rise up and support some of it's most vulnerable community members.
So a Christian, a Buddhist, and a Muslim walk into a podcast... well you are just going to have to listen to hear how this one goes! But we think you will find that our second Let's Get Ready to Rumble (LGRTR) episode is an interesting investigation into the way our religious beliefs and practices are both similar and different, and what we can each do to increase conversation around this challenging topic.
Dr. Martha Edwards joins Amine, Jamesa, and Ben to discuss how her work as a pediatrician has been impacted by the groundbreaking Adverse Childhood Experience Study. Join us as she explains how the emotional experiences we have as a child impact our future mental and physical health, and what we can do to reverse these negative effects. This is a fascinating episode that will inform you on what Dr. Edwards considers to be the most important study to come out of medicine in the last 30 years.
In today's show, we learn if Jamesa or Amine are Psychopaths or Sociopaths, or if there is even a difference. This is a great episode to see what we can learn about being fully human from those who are not.
In this episode, Amine was absent due to the grief he is still processing regarding his favorite soccer team. Ben and Jamesa temporarily replace him with John, a self-identified conservative, to discuss how people can more effectively discuss differences in politics. This is our first episode in the series of "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" (LGRTR) episodes where we have people who care about each other talk about subjects we are sometimes hesitant to discuss in mixed company. The goal of the LGRTR series is to highlight the importance of people having difficult conversations and provide some of the tools to do so.
In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss the concept of Foxes and Chickens, and how we often allow our harmful habits to harm the very things we say are our top priorities.
In this special live recorded episode, the Harmful Habits Podcast visited the owner of The Mercantile, Brittany, to explore the differences between individual and collective change.
Ben, Jamesa, and Amine sat down with their special guest, Lester Young from Path2Redemption, to discuss his experience serving a life sentence, the harmful habits that lead to it, and what he is currently working on to better the community we live in.
Our very first Harmful Habits special guest! In this episode Amine, Jamesa, and Ben talk with Joan Harris from Safe Passage about her work with victims of violence and what we can all do to improve community safety and care for those who have been harmed.
Jamesa, Ben, and Amine discuss a recent experience with someone in their community flying a Nazi flag in front of their home. They discuss their response to it, the different types of responses they observed from others, and their best attempts to move forward when such experiences happen.
In this episode Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss the feeling of shame, the need to understand it, and personal experiences they have had in their own lives.
In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss how avoiding discomfort, instead of embracing it, can lead to a number of different harmful habits.
In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss how the Fight, Flight, Freeze response can lead to harmful habits when not managed in a healthy way.
In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss the harmful habit of Binary Thinking and the damage it can do to those around us.
In this episode, Ben, Jamesa, and Amine discuss the Karpman Drama Triangle, also know as the Drama Cycle or the Hero-Victim-Villain/Offender Cycle.