On The Cloud Pod this week, news has been a bit slow coming out of the Cloud Providers; the team suspects they might be curled up on the floor in fetal position after the events of last year.

A big thanks to this week’s sponsors: * Foghorn Consulting, which provides full-stack cloud solutions with a focus on strategy, planning and execution for enterprises seeking to take advantage of the transformative capabilities of AWS, Google Cloud and Azure.

  • Open Raven, the cloud native data protection platform that automates policy monitoring and enforcement. Auto-discover, classify, monitor and protect your sensitive data.

This week’s highlights * 🚨 Amazon has gone to the gym over the holidays and is now kicking butt. * 🚨 Helping teach us the ways of the cloud, Google is. * 🚨 There’s nothing remotely funny about Azure this week.

General News: Ryan Doesn’t Want to Wear Pants * 🙄 Amazon has kicked controversial social media platform Parler off AWS. The multi-cloud people are going to be unbearable now. * 💌 Amazon defends its decision to suspend in response to Parler’s lawsuit. Most people don’t know Amazon sent Parler notices for months — it’s not like they weren’t warned. * 👎 F5 Networks to acquire edge-as-a-service startup Volterra for $500M. There’s so much buzzword lingo in this announcement, we suspect this service will lack substance. * 👒 Red Hat buys Kubernetes security startup StackRox. We’re surprised Google didn’t buy it. * 🔨 Pat Gelsinger is stepping down as VMWare CEO to replace Bob Swan at Intel. We think he has a very long road ahead to get Intel back on track.

Amazon Web Services: Family Time * 🤞 AWS announces Transfer Family now provides support for EFS file systems as well as S3. Would be nice if this would tie into Incognito or Simple Directory Service. * 😐 Amazon EMR now supports Apache Ranger for fine-grained data access control. Neat. * 🤷 Achieve faster database failover with Amazon Web Services MySQL JDBC Driver now in preview. Why not just re-resolve the DNS?

Google Cloud Platform: Ruby Red * 👌 Google Cloud Function is bringing support for Ruby, a popular, general-purpose programming language