Project Relationship You: Recent Episodes
Adinah Barlow
When we're in the heat of big emotions, it's hard to communicate with others and solve problems. This episode will teach you how to give yourself empathy first so you can communicate effectively with others.
We can change how our nervous systems react to trigger traumas through visualization and imagination. This is what inner child work is about. Creating a safe enough space to visit childhood memories, feel the feelings associated with them, and bringing that inner child what he/she/they needed at the time and didn't get.
These things affect your body in tangible ways, and you can train your brain to produce one more than the other.
Balancing the work it takes to create and maintain relationships, establishing and upholding your boundaries, and retaining your autonomy can be difficult. Here are some tools to help you with that.
This guided meditation is designed to help you get comfortable with your emotions and create a sense of safety in your nervous system around any and all emotions. Dr. Kathryn Kloos invented Somatic Dialogue, and I am so grateful to have learned it from her. Enjoy!
Nothing new is comfortable, so when you practice being with discomfort, it will be easier to try new things in your relationship to make it better.
A goal or dream without a plan is only a fantasy of a better future. Your priorities show up in our calendar and bank account, and the things that really matter to you deserve your time and money.
When you have your own back, no matter what, you can take more risks and try new things, and this improves your life greatly!
I mentioned the inventory of feelings and needs from Nonviolent Communication. You can find those here.
Feelings: https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory
Needs: inventoryhttps://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory
When you can soften your mind with curiosity, your creativity has room to flow, and you will find or create a way to solve whatever problem is presenting itself.
I mentioned the Triune Brain Theory by Paul MacLean.
It's not just our five senses that give us information. There are three major information centers that use all of our senses and bring us different kinds of information.
If you're finding yourself taking on the responsibility of your whole household or family, this episode is for you.
You can teach your partner how to support you in simple ways that they can feel confident about and meet your needs.
Anger and rage are like all other emotions. They are a source of information and tell you about needs that aren't being met. Here's how to work with them.
When you educate yourself about possible outcomes and try things, you're creating predictability for the outcome, and your brain will no longer fear it.
What is enough? How do you know when you've done enough? If it's arbitrary, it's an unreachable goal. This episode will teach you how to make it reachable.
There are steps that make a good relationship great and keep it that way. Just like eating healthy and exercising, the work you put into your relationships makes a difference for its long-term health. :)
When you take ownership of your actions and recognize your choices, you'll feel much more powerful!
As we move out of a culture of power-over others and domination into one of power-with others, consent is an essential ingredient.
Our brains need serotonin and dopamine to create new neuroconnectors as we learn new skills. When you can create a supportive emotional environment for yourself, you will much more easily learn the new skill you want.
Pride and shame are two sides of the same coin, and they have nothing to do with recognition!
When you can't or won't feel all of your emotions, you'll reject memories associated with them, but you can't block only painful memories. You'll also block happy memories.
Repairing hurts in relationships creates much more connection and safety than never feeling hurt.
Unmet grief can turn into violence (to self or others), disconnection, depression, shame, and addiction. When you grieve your losses, you heal.
It's the best way I know to prove to yourself and the universe that you are serious about the thing you say you are wanting. It's the best way to move through difficulties because you are all in.
Yes, they are different, and each are needed to create the best plan of action for yourself.
Your body, beliefs, and feelings need to be congruent with your actions to move forward effectively. So bring your emotions along!
How people treat you now (and how you treat yourself) is a reflection of how you've (likely unconsciously) trained them to treat you thus far. Now it's time to re-train them.
Grief is helpful because it alerts you that your actions did not meet your needs. whereas Shame, tells you that you are a bad person because of your actions.
Emotions are energy in motion, but there are ways we can trap that energy so it cannot move. This makes us stuck in it. Here's how to let it move again.
Especially if you've been sexually abused or physically abused, you may have dissociated from your body or rejected it. Here's how to re-establish a working (and hopefully harmonious) relationship with your body.
Emotional Intelligence is a valuable skill that takes learning and practicing. It may be hard, but if you're willing to try and fail and try again, your communication will 10X, and your relationships will get easier.