Emily Aborn still has a couple years to go before she turns 40, but she’s already thinking about how she wants to celebrate. She’s also considering what she wants to accomplish before the big “four-oh” and the time remaining to reach those accomplishments seems to be dwindling at the speed of life. Skydiving is the easy one. Writing a book? Is there still time for that? Emily has already learned that it’s ok to change your mind, but she yearns for the “I don’t care about your opinion” attitude she sees so many of her older friends enjoying.

Guest Bio

Emily Aborn is a Content Writer, Podcast Host, and Founder of She Built This, a community for women entrepreneurs and professionals. She’s been an entrepreneur since 2014 and has experience in running brick-and-mortar as well as online businesses. She’s worked with over 86 different industries and loves helping those with a big mission increase their visibility, connect with their clients, and bring their dreams and visions to life. For fun, Emily enjoys nerdy word games and puzzles, reading, listening to podcasts like they're going outta' style, and tromping about in the woods with her husband, Jason, and their dog, Clyde.

Meet Emily AbornEmily Aborn feels like the countdown to 40 is equally as important as what happens on the other side of 40. At 36, she’s already starting to think about how she’s going to memorialize her 40th. As someone still facing forty, though, she wonders what’s on the “mysterious” other side. She already feels like something is different, but finds it hard to put her finger on it while she’s still in the midst of it.

In her 20s, Emily was trying to figure out who she was and says she burned A LOT of things down in the process. She says she has had more jobs than rotations around the sun; she thinks the number is 42. After graduating college with a nutrition degree, she jumped from job to job to try to find one that fit. In conjunction with the job changes she moved many times and found herself in “ridiculous amounts of debt for that age.” Once, she watched from the window at work as her car was repossessed and towed away.

In her late 20s she went to work for a chiropractor who she had worked for right out of college. Emily found it hard to be around the chiropractor because she was such a positive person who was following her dreams and working towards her goals with such clarity. Emily felt so out of alignment with that kind of life. She always knew she wanted to be an entrepreneur and here she was working for one, which made her feel bad about still working for someone else.

You Are Allowed to Change Your MindShe and her husband opened a non-toxic mattress store and she ran that for almost five years before she acknowledged that she didn't love it. That’s when she realized “you’re allowed to change your mind.”

Emily pivoted and got her real estate license and, while she loved the classes part, she did not love the ‘being at the beck and call of the clients’ part. She needs more structure in her day. So she started doing marketing for a real estate group, which led to helping someone else with their marketing, and then someone else. Then she honed in tighter and tighter until she realized that the consistent throughline with all her jobs was writing. Now, she just provides marketing writing services for clients.

Today, she’s put it all together: she owns her own business doing something she feels successful at and satisfied by. She’s been on this path for four years now. In addition to the marketing services, she also started a company called She Built This to support women entrepreneurs.

What Really MattersAt 32, Emily lost a nearly lifelong friend in a tragic accident, which she says aged her. It helped crystalize what mattered in life. She realized she wanted to make an impact on the people around her, like her friend had.

Another thing she wants is to have the “I don’t care” vibe she sees her over-40 friends rocking. She wants to shed the “inner committee” of all her friends and family and colleagues.

When Emily thinks about 40, she feels like it’s simultaneously a celebration and leaving something behind. There are also a bunch of things she wants to do in the four years before she turns 40. But of all the things she said she wanted to do before turning 40, the pressure is building because the window between now and then is getting smaller.

At the same time, Emily thinks turning 40 comes with a “permission slip” to finally own who you are. She feels like she’s already going through a process of letting go of things she’s “supposed” to do. Thinking about relationships or events that she attends, if Emily wonders who she’s going there for, or if she’s uncomfortable, or if she’s just trying not to miss out, those are indicators that it’s not really serving her.

Who Am I? If Emily had a magic wand, she’d grant herself two weeks away, by herself, to allow her to figure out who she really is. In two weeks away from her community and the influences that shape her, she thinks she could really get a sense of what is the personality that’s underneath all of the influence and expectations in her life. She thinks there are probably pieces of her personality she isn’t even aware of because of the expectations of the people around her.

One thing she's focusing on this year is finding things to do that are fun. She wants to experience fun in new ways this year because she’s not even sure she knows what she thinks is fun - besides working. She thinks figuring out what you consider fun can help reveal parts of you that you might not have known about.

The To Do ListBefore she turns 40, Emily has a list of things she wants to accomplish including skydiving and writing a book. She wants to find a hobby she thinks is fun. She wants to grow her business. She’d like to own a second home in the mountains. And, after being married for seven years, she’d like to take a honeymoon.

Emily has a clear picture of how she wants to celebrate her 40th birthday.

When they got married, Emily and her husband wanted a small, cozy wedding but as the planning went on, it kept getting bigger and bigger. She was the bride and the wedding planner. The day was stressful for both her and her husband.

For her 40th, she wants to plan a party with that ‘backyard wedding’ feel that includes her family and her closest friends. One thing she's sure of: there will be dancing.

SponsorThe Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Additional Resources

She Built This Community

She Built This Podcast

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