"I love for people to come when the pipes leak instead of when they burst." — Vonda Tiede, LMFT

• Why do so many couples wait years before finally seeking help?
• What actually happens in the therapy room, and what is the therapist really doing?
• Are there situations where couples therapy can do more harm than good?

Couples therapy is one of the most misunderstood tools in marriage. People assume it means something's broken, that the therapist will pick a side, or that it's too late. None of that is true.

In this episode, Kenna sits down with two trusted colleagues and fellow licensed marriage and family therapists, Ben Baker and Vonda Tiede, for an honest, behind-the-curtain conversation about what couples therapy actually looks like, who it's for, and what gets in the way of people starting sooner.

They cover the myths that keep couples stuck, the difference between a disagreement and a full-blown fight, what "containment" really means in the therapy room, and the specific situations where couples therapy is actually contraindicated. They also share the one thing they each wish every couple knew before they ever walked through the door.

Whether you're considering couples therapy, currently in it, or just curious what happens in that room, this episode will give you real answers, not vague reassurances.

Chapters

• (00:00) - "Your marriage is my client"
• (00:28) - Welcome and guest introductions
• (02:14) - Highs and Hards
• (08:25) - Why couples therapy feels so mysterious
• (09:35) - How Ben and Vonda chose marriage and family therapy
• (14:01) - Individual therapy vs. couples therapy
• (18:38) - Myths and misconceptions therapists want to dispel
• (33:56) - When to come and when to wait
• (52:18) - The one thing each therapist wishes every couple knew
• (58:03) - Challenge by choice
• (01:00:27) - Closing prayer

Reflection Questions

Links and Resources:

• Martin Center for Integration - https://martincenterforintegration.com
• Vonda Tiede, LMFT - https://www.vondatiede.com/
• Related episodes with Ben Baker: Men and Mental Health, Men in Relationships, Triangulation - https://martincenterforintegration.com/show-notes-70
• Related episodes with Vonda Tiede: Marital Intimacy, What Happens in Individual Therapy - https://martincenterforintegration.com/show-notes-21

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Interested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for Integration

Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.