There is a particular kind of stiffness that comes from believing your intellect is the only thing that will get you through. You put forward the version of yourself that has the answers, the version that never lets the mask slip, because somewhere along the way you learned that being seen as capable was the same thing as being safe. Then life takes the choice out of your hands. A cancer diagnosis. A five-year survival window. A 925-kilometer walk across France and Spain with nothing but a change of clothes and a set of questions you thought you had already answered.

This week's guest is Alexander Ee, a former lawyer, management consultant, and corporate real estate executive who left a decades-long career in the boardroom to walk the Camino de Santiago after losing his wife, Regina, to cancer. What began as an attempt to outrun grief became something closer to a reckoning: with the mask of competence he had worn since childhood, with what it means to let people see him without it, and with a small stone he almost didn't pick up. Alexander shares the story behind his book, A Glimpse of Heaven, and what quiet courage actually looks like when the applause isn't the point.

Questions Answered in This Episode

• What is the Camino de Santiago, and why do people walk it after loss?
• How do you know when you're performing competence instead of being yourself?
• What does the "stone tradition" at Cruz de Ferro mean, and why is it hard to let go?
• How does faith help someone process grief and rebuild a sense of purpose?
• Why do quiet, retiring people sometimes step forward when it matters most?
• What can someone navigating grief or a major life transition take away from this story?

Key Takeaways

• The exhaustion of always having to look like you have the answers, and the relief of finally letting that go
• Realizing that the friends who saw every flaw were the ones who made you feel most accepted
• The strange, almost physical weight of carrying something you haven't admitted you need to release
• Discovering that purpose doesn't arrive as a plan, it arrives as a talent you're willing to lend to someone else
• Watching a quiet, retiring friend step into the spotlight exactly when the moment called for it, and realizing that same courage lives in all of us
• Learning to take grief one day at a time, rather than trying to picture an entire life without the person in it

Notable Quote

"You can command your fingers to open, and then they don't."

Chapter Approximate Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction to Alexander Ee

00:53 – From law to consulting to corporate real estate

02:08 – His wife Regina's cancer diagnosis and the decision to stay home 04:48 – Rediscovering faith through prayer and humility

08:27 – What really inspired the Camino de Santiago

11:34 – Dropping the mask: discovering he was "quite likable"

19:51 – The stone he almost didn't bring, and letting go at Cruz de Ferro

26:05 – How grief still resurfaces, and where he finds comfort

28:19 – Finding purpose through talents used for others

31:09 – Money, achievement, and mistaking identity for what doesn't last

36:23 – Turning an annual pilgrimage into a fundraiser

37:15 – Community, quiet courage, and the ethos of the Quiet Warrior

39:33 – The friend who stepped up when it mattered

42:12 – A message for anyone navigating grief or transition

43:34 – Alex’s book, A Glimpse of Heaven: Grief, Self and Community on the Camino

About the Guest

Alexander Ee is a former lawyer, management consultant, and corporate real estate executive based in Singapore. After the passing of his wife, Regina, he walked the 925-kilometer Camino de Santiago, an experience that led him to write A Glimpse of Heaven: Grief, Self and Community on the Camino, currently available in bookstores in Singapore. He has since completed the pilgrimage three times and now works for a Singapore charity, with this year's walk serving as a fundraiser.

About the Host Serena Low

I'm Serena Low, former lawyer turned Root-Cause Coach, and I work with professional women on one question: should you stay and rebuild, or leave on your own terms. It starts with one Diagnostic Call, where we get underneath the stress to what's actually driving it — the root cause beneath the symptoms. Book your call HERE.

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This episode was edited by Aura House Productions