In this episode I go back to one the most pivotal parts of my life. I hit a kind of rock bottom. Looking back at this day now, I realized that the beginning of real healing and growth came from a moment of complete surrender, of having literally nothing left in me to keep on going as if everything was okay.

Here’s what I think matters in this story:

· We are conditioned to believe that surrender, that giving up control is weak. That’s a lie. The strength and courage that is required when surrendering is brutal as hell and is far harder than we give it credit for.

· Let people in, the people who really care about you and love you just as you are. Let them in. They’ve got you. You know in your gut who these people are. They are in your life for a reason. And they may need you in the same way at some point. Let it be okay for them to surrender fully in your presence too.

· Stop being an asshole to yourself. In my home with my daughter, we have one simple rule “Don’t be an ahole”…you might cringe or wonder if that’s appropriate, but that doesn't matter to me. This is said in the most loving way as possible. Being an ahole is not caring about someone they way they should be cared for, not loving and supporting them, talking sht about them…and too many more to list. But she knows when I say, "don’t be an a*hole," it means to be kind, empathetic, understanding, patient, gracious…

· Ask yourself if there are parts of your life that you can surrender to…to ask for help and receive help. Even consider asking yourself for guidance and strength and actually listening to that voice.