Most conversations don’t fail because of what’s being said.
They fail because of everything that’s not being seen.
Because in every conversation… There isn’t just one conversation happening.
You’d be curious to know that there are actually three.
There’s the one happening inside of you:
Your past experiences, your values, your identity, your emotions, all shaping what this moment means.
There’s the one happening inside the other person:
Their fears, their beliefs, their history, their own bundle of feelings reacting to you.
And then… there’s a third space.
A space that holds both of you.
Where more nuance exists.
Where both people can be human, imperfect, and still worthy of understanding.
Most of us never access that third space.
And so we repeat the same conversations…
the same arguments…
the same patterns…
over and over again.
In this week’s episode, I unpack this idea, and why learning to step into that third space can completely transform how you relate to others.
Because when you can do this…
You don’t just communicate better.
You create safety.
You open the door for true connection.
You change the entire dynamic of a relationship.
Episode timestamps:
00:54 — Why this skill changes everything in your relationships
02:18 — The idea: 3 conversations inside every conversation
03:49 — Conversation 1: Your inner world
04:46 — Conversation 2: Their inner world
06:56 — Why we reduce others to negative intentions
07:02 — Conversation 3: The space in between
08:11 — Why we stay stuck in the same patterns
09:36 — The superpower of accessing the third conversation
This is one of those concepts that, once you see it… you can’t unsee it.
And once you start practicing it, conversations stop feeling like battles, and start becoming bridges.
Resources:
Book “This Is How It Always Is: A Novel” by Laurie Frankel - https://www.amazon.com/This-How-Always-Laurie-Frankel/dp/1250088550
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