Aaaaand…we’re back! JD’s Cocktail Lounge has returned, and there’s a lot of pent up weirdness to get out. Everybody’s trying to make themselves better this week–or reveling in their failures to do so. Lindsey Wahowiak chats with the fellas about attempts at bettering themselves and trying to become who you want to be, while Dave’s Map Room is slowly trying to kill him and Jordan has a fear of becoming an inanimate object.

Plus: Cops get free sodas, a Comment Card with tips on how to spend your non-JD’s hours and a cocktail celebrating your (probably futile) attempts at self-improvement.

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