Social Skills Coaching: Recent Episodes
Patrick King
While everyone wants to make themselves and their lives better, it has been hard to find specific, actionable steps to accomplish that. Until now...
Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication, and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.
He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk.
Brief Break, Back SoonLouisa: [00:00:00] Hello everyone, and thank you so much for tuning in to our series. We wanted to take a moment to express our heartfelt gratitude for your continued support and engagement. Your enthusiasm inspires us to keep creating and sharing meaningful content with you.
As you may already know, we'll be taking a short break. But don't worry, this pause is just an opportunity for us to recharge, gather new ideas, and come back with even more exciting episodes that we know you'll love. We anticipate returning with fresh and inspiring content in just a few weeks.
In the meantime, feel free to catch up on any episodes you might have missed or revisit your favorites. We’ll be back before you know it, ready to explore new topics and share even more amazing stories. Your support means the world to us, and we can't wait to embark on this next chapter together.
Stay tuned for updates, and until then, take care and keep being amazing. Thank you once again for listening. [00:01:00] See you soon!
00:01:11 Colin Powell, former Secretary of State
00:08:17 Beat Indecision
00:18:36 Here are primary takeaways from today's episode.
Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, Energized; Stop
Overthinking and Procrastinating By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/takerapidactionking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082YZ95LV
Practical, psychological methods to turn your thoughts into reality,
instead of endless avoidance and laziness.
Transform from struggling with getting off your butt, to a machine of
productivity and self-discipline. Create an action bias in your life --
starting now.
How to break inertia, overthinking, paralysis, sloth, and insecurity.
Take Rapid Action deconstructs the psychology of laziness and why
tomorrow always sounds like a better idea. This book is many things at
once: a shot of motivation, a spark of fire, an understanding of your
brain, and a list of techniques to get into motion. This is one of the
most valuable skills you’ll ever gain, because only action matters in
life, not good intentions.
Gain the ability to get things done and hit your goals, no matter the
circumstances.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills
coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific
research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Stop saying I’ll do it later/tomorrow… and overhaul your mindset for
productivity and efficiency.
•The Premortem Analysis and the Ostrich Theory -- how they can quiet
your overthinking.•How comfortable inaction is sabotaging
you.•Actionable and applicable rules to get started before you feel 100%
ready.
How to create motion and take the first step from complete stillness.
•How to defeat procrastination by bundling.•Strategically plan your
days to prevent laziness and distraction.•What you think is action, but
is actually a waste of time.
Become a machine of proactive energy and activity.
Action and results are the only things that matter in the world. Not
your planning, intentions, or nice thoughts. This book puts action at
the forefront of your brain and makes it nearly impossible to stay
still. That’s precisely what will get you ahead in life. Taking that
first step is always hard, but it doesn’t have to be.
Photo by Andres Ayrton: https://www.pexels.com/photo/thoughtful-woman-choosing-between-green-apple-and-donut-6550808/
From Addiction to Entrepreneur: Ken Miller's Inspiring Journey
Hear the full conversation at https://player.captivate.fm/episode/73428ea9-244c-473c-ab9f-63f9144490a9/
See the full conversation at https://youtu.be/fZy3UJpjDII
In this episode of Social Skills Coaching, join us as we dive into the incredible story of Ken Miller, a three-time convicted felon turned successful entrepreneur and mentor. Ken shares his journey from a tumultuous childhood and years of addiction and imprisonment to becoming a renowned author, speaker, and businessman. He discusses the importance of mentorship in the Black male community, overcoming shame and guilt, the power of transparency, and the significance of having dreams and aspirations. Ken also offers practical advice on finding a mentor and maintaining focus and order in life. Tune in to hear Ken's inspiring message and learn how he transformed his life against all odds.
00:00 Introduction and Personal Background
00:47 Welcome to Social Skills Coaching
01:24 Ken Miller's Early Life and Education
03:01 Struggles and Redemption
03:57 Life in Ecuador
04:36 Ken's Book and the Power of Transparency
07:52 Mentorship and Its Importance
12:14 The Speaking Circuit
14:09 Daily Routine and Final Advice
Unlock Productivity with Play: A Conversation with Jolyn Ledgerwood
See the full converstaion at https://youtu.be/VleRbyL5L0Q
Join us on Social Skills Coaching as we delve into an insightful conversation with Jolyn Ledgerwood, a consultant, coach, and founder of Elevate Your Talent. Discover how Jolyn transitioned from corporate training to personal coaching, using innovative methodologies like Lego Serious Play and Clifton Strengths. Learn about the importance of play in the workplace, the value of mental health, and practical tips for personal and professional growth. Tune in for an engaging discussion on how embracing playfulness can make you more productive and fulfilled.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:36 Meet Jolyn Ledgerwood
02:10 Discovering Lego Serious Play
03:33 The Power of Play in the Workplace
05:30 Jolyn's Background and Methodologies
10:24 Advocating for Mental Health
12:50 Connecting and Coaching with Jolyn
14:38 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Unlocking Deeper Connections & Overcoming Trauma with Sonya Figueiredo
See the full conversation at https://youtu.be/JFLM-8xD07Y
In this insightful episode of The Science of Self, host Russell interviews Sonya Figueiredo, founder of Mindful Transitions. Sonya shares her personal journey that led her to start her coaching business, focusing on professional women in the corporate world. She emphasizes the importance of addressing deeper issues, breaking through personal barriers, and fostering genuine connections in all facets of life. Sonya discusses the difference between coaching and therapy, the significance of understanding one's 'why,' and practical tips for self-improvement and daily routines. Learn how to navigate life's challenges and improve your relationships from the inside out.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:22 Sonya's Journey to Mindful Transitions
02:26 Understanding Trauma and Coaching
04:25 Purpose and Self-Discovery
06:32 Self-Improvement Courses and Techniques
13:20 Daily Routines and Habits
16:13 Final Thoughts and Closing
00:00:25 Welcome to Social Skills Coaching
00:00:37 Our featured book today is Practical Intelligence
00:05:05 Two Systems of Thought
00:08:25 Skepticism and critical thinking
00:16:30 Takeaways
Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08263KGHK
Neuroscience-proven guidelines to think, act, and become smarter ASAP. It’s not what you know, it’s how you think.
You've been fooled before. You've missed things. You've been slow on the uptake and others have passed you by. Radically transform your thinking for both speed AND accuracy.
Think quickly on your feet to solve problems, overcome obstacles, and win arguments.
Practical Intelligence is not a common “think smarter” book. No, it starts from biological bases of analytical thinking, and how we can re-program ourselves for deep insight. This book provides real, actionable tool after tool, because smart thinking is all about HOW, and not why or what. The bottom line is that you’ll be able to apply this book’s thinking models immediately, until they become habit.
Better decision-making, smarter reasoning, and greater mental clarity.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author. He has sold over a million books. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Learn to ask the intelligent questions, draw insight, and analyze situations.
•How the body and brain must work together for quick thinking.•What it truly means to think deeply and analyze.•How to think about your thinking, and the obstacles that short circuit your good intentions.
Science-based techniques to train your brain for optimal performance.
•Mental models for optimal decision-making.
•How to train your brain for speed.
•Tips for divergent and creative thinking - generating ideas.
Never get fooled again and find the truth in situations quickly.
At first glance, most things seem fine. And maybe ignorance is bliss. But to think clearly, deeply, quickly, and effectively - you’ll discover just how much of your life you have been missing, for better or worse.
This is the fourth book in the “Clear Thinking and Fast Action” series as listed below:1. The Science of Getting Started: How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage2. The Art of Clear Thinking: Mental Models for Better Reasoning, Judgment, Analysis, and Learning. Upgrade Your Intellectual Toolkit.3. 10-Minute Philosophy: From Buddhism to Stoicism, Confucius and Aristotle - Bite-Sized Wisdom From Some of History’s Greatest Thinkers4. Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled5. Learn To Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher6. Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating7. Relentless Focus: 27 Small Tweaks to Beat Procrastination, Skyrocket Productivity, Outsmart Distractions, & Do More in Less Time.
Finding Joy through Helping Others: Insights from Iuri Melo on Wellness and Prevention
See the full conversation at https://youtu.be/S8-vJTRqQHw
In this episode, Iuri Melo, a licensed clinical social worker and co-founder of School Pulse, shares valuable insights on improving wellness through 'other care' and proactive prevention. He discusses the impactful journey of creating School Pulse in response to a student suicide crisis in Utah, emphasizing the importance of connection and proactive engagement. The conversation also touches on the significance of maintaining a positive mindset, the power of relationships, and key habits for personal success. Tune in to learn strategies for fostering joy, meaning, and resilience in life.
00:00 Introduction to Creating Misery and Wellness
00:46 Meet Iuri Melo: Licensed Clinical Social Worker
01:30 The Genesis of School Pulse
03:18 Proactive Engagement and Support
05:10 The Power of Optimism and Relationships
08:03 Habits for Success and Well-being
11:19 Final Thoughts and Parting Words
How Proactive Mental Health Strategies Can Transform Lives | Interview with Iuri Melo
Join us in this insightful episode where we talk to Iuri Melo, a licensed clinical social worker and co-founder of School Pulse. Iuri shares his transformative journey from working as a psychotherapist to co-founding a proactive mental health service aimed at improving student wellness. He delves into the importance of shifting from just intervention to proactive care, the role of positive psychology, and how involving students in engaging activities like adventure therapy can significantly improve their mental health. Discover how other-care can be a more effective mood booster than self-care and the unparalleled importance of community and connections in fostering wellbeing.
Join us for a lively conversation as Russell Newton sits down with Iuri Melo, a licensed clinical social worker and co-founder of School Pulse, to explore the world of positive psychology, growth mindset, and personal development. We dive into how social skills, charisma, and emotional wellness can transform student success and everyday life.
Throughout the episode, we touch on the power of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), the importance of relationships, and how being proactive about mental health and wellness can make a real difference. Iuri shares insights from his experience with adventure therapy and climbing therapy, and we discuss practical ways to build resilience, presence, and likability.
We also chat about the influence of thought leaders like Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now), Viktor Frankl, Stephen Covey (Seven Habits), and Tony Robbins, and how their ideas can inspire self-improvement, leadership, and empowerment. Whether you’re interested in habit stacks, miracle mornings, or just want to boost your productivity and emotional wellness, this episode is packed with evidence-based advice and real-world stories.
Tune in for a casual, inspiring discussion that will leave you ready to thrive, not just survive!
PositivePsychology #GrowthMindset #CBT #SocialSkills #Charisma #Productivity #Likability #IuriMelo #RussellNewton #SchoolPulse #MentalHealth #EmotionalWellness #StudentSuccess #Therapy #AdventureTherapy #ClimbingTherapy #Proactive #Wellness #Relationships #Presence #ThePowerOfNow #EckhartTolle #ViktorFrankl #StephenCovey #SevenHabits #TonyRobbins #MiracleMorning #HabitStack #Altruism #Resilience #Thriving #PersonalDevelopment #SelfImprovement #Leadership #Empowerment
00:01:16 Chapter 2. Situational Riddles
00:02:23 The Man in the Bar
00:06:14 Death in a Field
00:10:10 An Unusual Birth
00:13:49 Adam and Eve
00:16:44 A Woman Shoots her Husband
00:23:06 Takeaway
Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay: Develop a Quick Wit, Think More Creatively and Cleverly, and Train your Problem-Solving instincts By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CD33V2S
Tired of thinking in the same old box? Want to sharpen your mind and become a creative problem-solving powerhouse? 🧠 Then you NEED to dive into the world of riddles, brain teasers, and wordplay! In this video, we're exploring the incredible power of "Learn To Think Using Riddles" by Patrick King, a book that will revolutionize the way you approach challenges.
We'll tackle some mind-bending riddles, like the classic "Newton's Magicians," which force us to question our assumptions and think outside the box (literally!). Prepare to be challenged as we explore:
Discover Your Inner Satisfaction with Cary Prejean | The Science of Self Podcast
See the full conversation at https://youtu.be/9Eva0A2oKRI
In this episode of 'The Science of Self,' we welcome Cary Prejean, an experienced business consultant and CPA, to talk about personal satisfaction and growth. Cary shares his journey from the financial world to coaching business owners on doubling profits and structuring successful businesses. However, this episode is not just about business; it's about discovering what truly satisfies you in life. Cary explains the importance of defining satisfaction, being your authentic self, valuing environments where you're appreciated, and distinguishing the narratives that shape you. He provides valuable insights on living a fulfilling life filled with joy, gratitude, and ambition. Learn how to cultivate a mindset that empowers you to achieve personal and professional growth. Tune in to redefine your life's satisfaction!
00:00 Embrace Your True Self
00:37 Introduction to Our Guest: Cary Prejean
01:05 The Importance of Financial Literacy for Business Owners
02:39 Connecting Business Strategies to Personal Growth
02:56 Defining Satisfaction and Happiness
06:16 The Role of Coaches in Personal and Professional Development
09:37 Understanding Your Unique Value
14:28 Habits for a Rewarding Life
18:16 Final Thoughts and Farewell
00:03:33 A 2009 paper by Aram and Aviram
00:04:11 A 2014 Journal of Applied Social Psychology article by Capozza
00:09:38 Tip 1: Choose Your Fiction Wisely
00:11:10 Tip 2: Sample Widely
00:12:52 Tip 3: Read ACTIVELY
00:15:39 Tip 4: Be Discerning
Train Your Empathy: How to Cultivate the Single Most Important Relationship Skill By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3shIydQ
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BDXLTRD2
This video dives deep into the profound insights from Patrick King's book, Train Your Empathy: How to Cultivate the Single Most Important Relationship Skill. In a world increasingly defined by digital distance and misunderstanding, King offers a powerful and practical guide to enhancing our capacity for emotional intelligence and human connection. This is more than just a book recommendation; it's a call to action to develop the foundational skill that underpins all successful relationships, both personal and professional.
Drawing on concepts from psychology and brain science, King breaks down complex ideas into actionable steps. He emphasizes that empathy isn't an innate trait but a skill that can be trained and honed, much like any other. This video explores key themes from the book, including the distinction between emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and compassionate empathy. We look at how understanding these different forms can dramatically improve our social intelligence and our ability to navigate diverse perspectives.
One of the most compelling aspects of King’s approach is his focus on applied social psychology. He moves beyond theory to provide concrete exercises and frameworks. For instance, he discusses the role of storytelling and literary fiction as powerful tools for developing perspective-taking. He argues that by actively engaging with well-developed characters, we can practice stepping into someone else's shoes, a process that strengthens the same neural pathways we use for real-life understanding. This perspective is echoed in the work of Doctor Sara Konrath, whose research highlights the neurological benefits of reading and its link to increased empathy.
This video also touches on how to apply these principles in various contexts. For social skills coaching, the book provides a robust framework for improving communication and building rapport. Whether you're a leader aiming to foster a more compassionate and understanding team culture or an individual seeking to deepen your personal relationships, the lessons from Train Your Empathy are invaluable. King’s insights are practical, helping us to move beyond passive understanding and into active compassion.
We also explore the connections between empathy and diversity. The book illustrates how a heightened sense of empathy allows us to bridge gaps and connect with individuals from different backgrounds and experiences. This capacity for understanding is crucial for building a more inclusive and harmonious society. The work of Russell Newton and Saffron Dreams, along with Faizan and Shaila Abdullah, highlights the importance of cultural understanding and the power of narrative in fostering human connection. Their literary fiction often serves as a powerful medium for developing these very skills, showcasing the practical application of reading psychology.
The video outlines several techniques presented in the book, such as "read actively" exercises, which encourage us to analyze characters and their motivations to build empathy. We also discuss how to overcome common obstacles to empathy, such as confirmation bias and egocentrism. Patrick King Consulting’s philosophy, which is embedded in the book, is all about transforming theoretical knowledge into real-world results.
By the end of this video, you will have a clear understanding of why empathy is not just a soft skill but a critical component of social intelligence and personal success. You'll be introduced to the core concepts of the book and gain actionable insights on how to begin your own journey toward cultivating this essential skill. This is a must-watch for anyone interested in personal growth, non-fiction psychology, or simply improving their relationships. Mar Oatley Peterson’s work on communication and emotional intelligence also aligns with these principles, emphasizing the interconnectedness of these vital social competencies.
The Mindset of Lifelong Learning with Dr. Carmen Bell
See the full conversation at https://youtu.be/v9nuF6CBdic
In this episode of The Science of Self, host Russell welcomes Dr. Carmen Bell to discuss the importance of maintaining a mindset of continuous learning and growth throughout life. Dr. Carmen shares insights on professional and personal development, emphasizing the value of always being open to new opportunities and knowledge. She highlights the differences between formal continuing education and a lifelong learner's mindset. Additionally, Dr. Carmen dives into how to identify and overcome blind spots in your career and personal life, as well as tips for effectively seeking feedback and striving for true leadership. The episode concludes with personal anecdotes about Dr. Carmen's daughter, a successful Harvard student, showcasing the impact of a strategic and supportive upbringing.
00:00 Introduction to Lifelong Learning
00:37 Welcoming Dr. Carmen Bell
01:55 Defining Continuing Professional Education
03:42 The Growth Mindset
04:54 Identifying and Overcoming Blind Spots
07:02 Leadership and Career Advancement
09:33 Discussing Personal Development
12:20 Dr. Carmen's Daughter and Parenting Insights
14:10 Navigating College Admissions
00:02:14 Chapter 2. Core Beliefs and Automatic Thoughts
00:05:15 Where Lack of Confidence Comes
00:13:31 See if you can notice any of these patterns in your own thinking
00:23:27 Takeaway
The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin (Be Confident and Fearless Book 8) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ConfidenceFormulaKing
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0994VF5XH
Join us as we dive into Patrick King's book, "The Confidence Formula: A Cognitive Model for Building Unshakable Self-Confidence." In this episode, host Russell Newton, of Russell Newtown MG, explores the roots of insecurity and how to transform negative self-beliefs into a solid foundation of confidence. Learn practical strategies from Dr. David M. Clark's cognitive model to identify and challenge your insecurities, such as rumination, lack of confidence, social anxiety, and fear of public speaking. Understand the importance of self-monitoring and safety behaviors while exploring the role of automatic thoughts in shaping our expectations and core beliefs. Discover how to reframe your negative bias filter to embrace positive communication skills and strengthen your emotional immune system. If you struggle with self-doubt, fear of social interactions, or a lack of confidence, this episode is for you. Learn how The Confidence Formula can help you break free from the cycle of insecurity and live a more confident and fearless life.
Tags: #NewtonMG #Insecurity #Rumination #SelfEsteem #AdrianWells #CoreBeliefs #Expectations #PatrickKing #DavidMClark #MentalHealth #SocialPhobia #RussellNewton #SocialAnxiety #CognitiveModel #SelfMonitoring #SafetyBehaviors #AutomaticThoughts #LackOfConfidence #SocialInteractions #CommunicationSkills #NegativeBiasFilter #SelfFulfillingProphecy.
The Interplay of Mind and Body with Dr. Margaret Cochran: Overcoming Fear and Inflammation
See the Full Interview at https://youtu.be/PMnQIw7fNEw
Dr. Margaret Cochran is a licensed clinical social worker, life coach, hypnotherapist, educator, social media personality, and author with over 25 years of experience in helping individuals achieve their personal and professional goals.
Throughout her career, Dr. Cochran has been featured in numerous media outlets nationwide, and she regularly contributes to the Huffington Post, appears on NBC Sacramento’s morning show, and has hosted radio programs such as “Wisdom, Love and Magic” and “A Mental Health Moment.”
Dr. Cochran is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, life coach, hypnotherapist, educator, social media personality and author with more than 25 years of clinical experience. A seasoned professional dedicated to the health and well-being of all her patients, Dr. Cochran takes a whole person approach to mental health and wellness. She seamlessly interweaves traditional ego psychology, transpersonal psychology and energy psychology affording her patients every tool possible to achieve their goals and make their dreams a reality.
Dr. Cochran has been featured in a range of media outlets throughout the country including BBC, ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX affiliates, CBS Radio, Healthline, Yahoo Life, Total Beauty, Media News Group, Mercury News, and many additional outlets. In addition to the Huffington Post, she has also been featured regularly on NBC Sacramento’s morning show and hosted radio programs such as, “Wisdom, Love and Magic” and “A Mental Health Moment.”
In this insightful episode, Dr. Margaret Cochran, also known as 'the relationship doctor,' delves into the intricate connection between the mind and body. She explains how fear and inflammation work hand in hand to affect our health and shares powerful methods to mitigate these effects. Dr. Cochran discusses her unique background in clinical social work, psychology, metaphysics, and wildlife rehabilitation, offering fascinating stories and practical advice. Learn about energy psychology, hypnotherapy, and the transformative power of gratitude. Discover how to challenge 'shoulds,' cultivate empathy, and rewire your brain for resilience.
00:00 Introduction: The Two Causes of Sickness
00:30 Meet Dr. Margaret Cochran
01:10 Exploring Metaphysics and Traditional Physics
01:50 Therapeutic Approaches and Fear
03:32 The Interplay of Mind and Body
04:31 Hypnosis and Its Applications
05:45 Understanding Trance and Hypnosis
08:15 Anchoring Techniques for Compulsive Behaviors
11:26 Teaching Compassion and Empathy
14:59 Dr. Cochran's Books and Their Themes
18:41 Daily Practices for Self-Development
20:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
In this insightful episode featuring Dr. Margaret Cochran, a relationship doctor with a unique background in wildlife rehabilitation, we explore the profound mind-body connection. Dr. Cochran delves into how fear and inflammation are deeply intertwined, affecting our holistic health and wellness. She discusses practical ways to achieve resilience and personal growth by utilizing techniques from transpersonal psychology, energy psychology, and hypnotherapy. The conversation highlights the importance of gratitude, empathy, and compassion as powerful tools for rewiring the brain.
The discussion also touches upon deeper metaphysical concepts, such as quantum entanglement and the interconnectedness of humanity, and how they relate to healing and personal transformation. By understanding the brain's role and challenging limiting beliefs, listeners are equipped to overcome fear, mitigate stress, and foster a stronger sense of emotional well-being. Dr. Cochran's expertise offers a comprehensive approach to self-help, blending clinical social work principles with a broader spiritual perspective to help individuals achieve lasting personal growth.
00:00:26 Welcome back to Social Skills Coaching with Patrick King.
00:02:26 Thinking About Thinking
00:11:42 The Problem of the Runaway Trolley
00:16:16 The Zombie Cat
00:20:15 Physics First
00:25:27 Takeaways
Learn To Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher (Clear Thinking and Fast Action Book 5) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing
The Zombie Cat, The Runaway Trolley, and Einstein’s Elevator: How to Master Your Mind with Thought Experiments
Welcome to a journey into the deepest corners of your mind, inspired by the groundbreaking book, "Learn to Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher." In this video, we're going to explore the incredible power of gedankenexperiments, or thought experiments, and how they can fundamentally change the way you think.
Do you want to unlock your creativity, sharpen your critical thinking skills, and foster a deeper sense of curiosity? Thought experiments are powerful mental tools used by the greatest minds in history, from Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton to Werner Heisenberg and Niels Bohr. They are mental simulations designed to explore the implications and consequences of a hypothesis without a real-world setup. They force you to confront your assumptions and challenge your preconceived notions. It's the ultimate exercise in problem solving.
Think about Isaac Newton's cannon: he imagined a cannonball fired from a mountain to understand orbital mechanics. This simple hypothetical laid the groundwork for our understanding of gravity. Or consider Schrödinger's cat, the "zombie cat" paradox proposed by Erwin Schrödinger. He used this bizarre scenario not to suggest a cat could be both alive and dead, but to highlight the strange interpretation of quantum mechanics. It's a brilliant example of using an outlandish idea to provoke deeper inquiry.
The most famous moral dilemma of all is the trolley problem. You see a runaway trolley speeding toward five people. You can pull a lever to divert it, killing only one person. This scenario has no easy answer; it's designed to make you examine your own ethical frameworks and understand concepts of responsibility.
The book "Learn to Think Using Thought Experiments" by Patrick King is a comprehensive guide to mastering this invaluable skill. It’s a practical guide to using these mental tools for your own cognitive development and intellectual growth. You'll learn how to create your own thought experiments and use them to improve everything from your career to your personal relationships. Imagine using a thought experiment to test a new business idea or to make a difficult life decision. The book equips you with the tools for these mental simulations.
The book delves into a wide range of thought experiments, from those of physicists like Werner Heisenberg and Niels Bohr to philosophical puzzles that challenge our understanding of consciousness and free will. It even touches on concepts from other fields, such as the famous Geiger counter, used in a way to illustrate randomness and probability.
This isn't about memorizing facts; it's about cultivating metacognition—the ability to think about your own thinking. By using thought experiments, you learn to question everything, explore every possibility, and think like a philosopher. You'll move beyond simple facts and into the realm of deeper understanding, honing your imagination and learning to see the world not just as it is, but as it could be.
If you’re ready to expand your mental horizons, improve your problem-solving skills, and ignite your curiosity, grab a copy of "Learn to Think Using Thought Experiments" by Patrick King. This video is just the beginning. The book is the manual that will equip you with the tools to master your mind and unleash your full intellectual potential.
LearnToThinkUsingThoughtExperiments #PatrickKing #ThoughtExperiment #CriticalThinking #Metacognition #ProblemSolving #Curiosity #Creativity #IntellectualGrowth #CognitiveDevelopment #Philosopher #Philosophy #Gedankenexperiments #Schrödinger #SchrödingersCat #ZombieCat #TrolleyProblem #RunawayTrolley #MoralDilemmas #IsaacNewton #NewtonsCannon #AlbertEinstein #WernerHeisenberg #NielsBohr #Bohr #Heisenberg #Hypotheticals #Assumptions #Implications #Consequences #Simulations #Interpretation #Geiger
Hussein Halak on Embracing Life's Diversity and Mastering Your True Purpose | The Science of Self Podcast
See the entire conversation at https://youtu.be/wOMJATWcOkU
In this episode of 'The Science of Self,' host Russell dives deep with guest Hussein Halak, an accomplished entrepreneur, strategist, and author. Hussein shares his journey from Syria to Dubai, discussing his experiences growing up amid economic sanctions, exploring multiple creative ventures, and the importance of living a life full of exploration. He elaborates on the concept of 'Life Mastery' as a dark art that requires personal touch and adaptability. Hussein also emphasizes the value of uncomfortable growth, continuous learning, and the importance of contributing to and teaching others. Join us for an insightful conversation that bridges personal values, cultural experiences, and life mastery.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:49 Meet Hussein Halak: Entrepreneur and Author
01:40 Growing Up in Syria
04:32 Life During Sanctions and Moving to Dubai
05:57 Passion for Music and Art
07:04 Philosophy on Life and Success
07:34 The Dark Art of Life Mastery
08:26 Embracing True Purpose
09:12 The American Dream and Personal Values
12:59 The Importance of Feedback
13:55 Final Thoughts and Advice
00:03:30 Physical Noise
00:04:41 Physiological Noise
00:05:31 Semantic Noise
00:06:56 Psychological Nois
00:09:14 Overcoming Noise
00:10:15 Understand the Noise and How It’s Impacting You
00:13:16 Plan Ahead and Minimize Obstacles
00:15:11 Takeaways
Mindful Listening: How To Be Present, Intentional, and Empathetic (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 35) By Patrick King
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CX1F3HFX
In this video, we dive into the art of mindful listening as discussed in the book "Mindful Listening: How To Be Present, Intentional, and Empathetic." We'll explore various types of noise that hinder effective communication: physical noise, physiological noise, semantic noise, and psychological noise. By understanding these distractions and how they impact us, we can learn to identify them, plan ahead, and minimize their obstacles in our daily conversations. Improve your listening skills and deepen relationships through empathetic perspective.
Tags:
MindfulListening #CommunicationSkills #EmpathicListening #Relationships #OvercomingNoise #ListeningTips #PatrickKing
Empowering Teachers to Become Entrepreneurs with Elliot Phillips | The Science of Self
See the entire conversation at https://youtu.be/NR4sjX7AetU
In this episode of The Science of Self, host Russell welcomes Elliot Phillips, a former UK PE teacher turned entrepreneur. Elliot shares his journey from teaching to launching a business that helps teachers build online tutoring businesses. He provides insights into his bestselling book, 'Teaching on Your Own Terms,' and details his 'Five to Thrive' routine. The conversation dives into the inception of his Teacher Fit Project, his experience during the pandemic, and valuable advice for personal development. Elliot also discusses his morning routines, emphasizing the importance of gratitude, learning, and physical exercise for overall well-being. Tune in to learn how to achieve greatness by helping others and fostering a growth mindset.
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
00:26 Meet Elliot Phillips: From PE Teacher to Entrepreneur
00:35 The Journey to Online Tutoring
01:12 Mindset and Success Principles
02:34 Elliot's Background and Path to Teaching
04:01 Teaching on Your Own Terms: The Book
05:25 The Teacher Project: Origin and Growth
07:47 Recommended Reads and Final Thoughts
10:27 Elliot's Daily Habits and Advice
13:58 Closing Remarks and Farewell
Uncover the secrets to building deep, meaningful connections with Patrick King's latest book, "How to Listen, Hear, and Validate." This insightful guide explores the art of effective communication, focusing on the fine line between reacting and responding.
In Chapter 3, we dive into the concept of invalidation and its impact on our relationships. Learn to recognize invalidating behaviors and discover powerful techniques to avoid them. King provides practical strategies for overcoming invalidation and embracing self-validation, ensuring your conversations leave a lasting positive impression.
00:05:38 What Is Invalidation?
00:12:41 Being a Good Communicator: How to Avoid Invalidating Others
00:25:22 Overcoming Invalidation
00:33:17 Takeaways
With this book, you'll transform your communication style, prevent conflicts, and cultivate the intimate connections you desire. Say goodbye to misunderstandings and hello to charismatic, empathetic interactions. Join us on this journey towards becoming a natural communicator!
[Keywords: Communication, Invalidation, Self-Validation, Relationships, Charisma, Empathy]
Get your copy now: Book Link
From ADHD to Mindfulness: Entrepreneur Rick Culleton's Journey to
Happiness
In this episode of Social Skills Coaching, host Russell welcomes
entrepreneur, author, and mindfulness advocate Rick Culleton. They delve
into Rick's life journey from growing up with ADHD, to his
entrepreneurial ventures across multiple countries, to his amazing
accidental sobriety story, and his ongoing pursuit of mindfulness and
happiness. Rick shares his experiences with meditation, creating a
'morning stack,' and the impact of cold plunges on his life. Tune in for
insights on building a successful team, overcoming personal struggles,
and living a fulfilling life.
00:00 Introduction
01:11 Rick Culleton's Background and Entrepreneurial Journey
02:29 Challenges and Experiences with ADHD
07:26 Building and Managing Successful Teams
14:52 Accidental Sobriety and Mindfulness Practices
21:24 Developing a Morning Routine for Success
26:25 Balancing Fitness and Recovery
27:19 The Importance of Techno Fasting
27:55 Optimizing Sleep and Recovery
29:37 Morning Routine Efficiency
32:26 Cold Plunge Benefits
34:08 Martial Arts Journey
41:02 Building a Morning Stack
44:16 Cold Plunge Alternatives
47:51 Influential Books and Final Thoughts
SocialSkillsCoaching
RickCulleton
Entrepreneurship
ADHD
Mindfulness
Happiness
Sobriety
Meditation
MorningRoutine
MorningStack
ColdPlunge
Fitness
Recovery
TechnoFasting
SleepOptimization
MartialArts
PersonalGrowth
SuccessMindset
Leadership
Productivity
WellnessJourney
00:09:30 For example, take the Pareto Principle
00:12:37 Models in Brief
00:14:11 Satisficing.
00:15:34 Distinguish feeling or thinking.
00:17:13 Prioritize motion.
00:19:14 Whatever Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong.
00:21:00 Here are the takeaways from today's episode.
Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08263KGHK
In this episode, we dive into the fascinating world of practical intelligence as outlined by author Patrick King. Discover the neuroscience-backed strategies to enhance your critical thinking skills and never be fooled again!
Chapter 3 unveils the power of 'thinking in models' - a game-changing approach to problem-solving. Learn how to create mental models for faster, more accurate decision-making. We'll explore concepts like satisficing, the difference between feeling and thinking, and the importance of motion. Plus, uncover why Murphy's Law is your secret weapon!
Join us as we deconstruct these powerful insights and learn how to analyze deeply, think critically, and transform our thinking for a smarter future.
Russell welcomes social media strategist and TEDx speaker Robin Nathaniel.
See the full interview at https://youtu.be/edHZvzIGu3o
Robin shares his journey from hip-hop artist to public speaker, emphasizing the power of forging intentional human connections online. He elaborates on his experiences as a father, husband, and author, highlighting the importance of sharing one’s personal story to create impactful connections. Robin also discusses his guiding principles—Connect, Create, Contribute—and how these can be applied to lead a fulfilling life. Additionally, he offers practical advice on becoming a TEDx speaker and recommends essential reading material to help find purpose and drive meaningful human interactions.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:15 Robin's Background and Career
00:56 The Impact of Social Media
01:35 Journey as a TEDx Speaker
04:21 Moving from New York to Atlanta
06:03 The Power of Sharing Personal Stories
07:11 Book Insights and Frameworks
08:39 Personal Philosophy: Connect, Create, Contribute
13:17 Spiritual Journey and Family
16:09 Recommended Reading and Daily Habits
19:34 Closing Thoughts and Practical Advice
#RobinNathaniel #Socialmediastrategy #Personalgrowth #Musicindustry #Authenticconnection #TEDxspeaker #Creatingconnections #Digitalcommunication #Resilience #SocialMediaSYNC #Publicspeaking #Inspiration #Careertransition #Storytelling #Intentionalcommunication #ConnectCreateContribute #Humanconnection #Socialmediaexpert #Author #Mindfulcommunication #Socialmediatips #Thoughtleadership #Professionaldevelopment #Entrepreneurship #thescienceofself
00:03:21 We Have Two Ears and Only One Mouth
00:08:56 Ineffective listening
00:15:59 Takeaway
Improve Your People Skills: How to Connect With Anyone, Communicate Effectively, Develop Deep Relationships, and Become a People Person By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3nQxB0N
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XK7WBW2
Dive into this insightful episode as we explore the second chapter of Patrick King's groundbreaking book, "Improve Your People Skills." Discover why staying quiet and honing your listening skills are essential for building deep connections.
In a world where communication is key, learn to adapt and navigate social situations with ease. Uncover the secrets to becoming likable, improving interpersonal relationships, and maximizing your personal growth.
This episode delves into the psychology of people, providing a blueprint for understanding others and developing harmonious relationships.
Don't miss out on this opportunity to enhance your soft skills and become a captivating presence in any social setting. With practical tips and actionable advice, you'll learn how to handle any situation with grace and confidence.
Click the link below to grab your copy of "Improve Your People Skills" and take control of your social life today!
https://adbl.co3nQxB0N
Are you ready to transform your people skills? Let's dive in!
In our fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook the fundamental yet powerful act of listening. This podcast episode delves into the lost art of active engagement, exploring how genuine listening and validation can transform our interactions. We'll uncover the distinction between truly hearing others and merely awaiting our turn to speak, revealing how this simple shift can elevate conversations from solitary monologues to vibrant exchanges. Moreover, we'll examine the parallels between listening and validation, understanding their shared goal of creating positive and meaningful connections. Get ready to explore these essential people skills, as we delve into the intricacies of effective communication, uncovering practical insights that will enhance your interpersonal relationships and foster deeper, more fulfilling conversations.
Intentions and Transformative Travel with Anywhere.com Founder, Zach Smith
In this episode of 'The Science of Self,' host Russell interviews Zach Smith, the founder and CEO of Anywhere.com. Zach shares his story of how a post-college trip to Oaxaca inspired the creation of his company. He emphasizes the importance of intentions and attention in shaping one's life experiences. Zach also discusses how travel can be a powerful tool for personal transformation, drawing from both childhood lessons and professional experiences. Additionally, he touches on his daily habits, the significance of conscious living, and the philosophy behind Anywhere.com's approach to meaningful and culture-respecting travel. Join us to explore the deeper aspects of intentionality and the transformative power of travel.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:14 The Birth of Anywhere.com
02:22 The Power of Intentions
04:22 A Childhood Lesson on Intentions
08:55 The Importance of Perspective
10:51 Daily Habits for Success
13:35 The Mission of Anywhere.com
00:00:12 Today's featured book from Patrick King is Practical Intelligence
00:04:55 Two Systems of Thought
00:16:22 Battling Biases
00:28:01 Four Cognitive Biases to Watch Out For
00:36:03 Beating Cognitive Bias
00:41:52 Logical Arguments
00:52:51 Takeaways
Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations,
Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08263KGHK
Are you ready to become an expert in practical intelligence? In this
episode, we dive into Chapter 2 of Patrick King's groundbreaking book,
'Practical Intelligence.' Discover the fascinating neuroscience behind
our thought processes and learn how to harness both systems of thinking
for optimal decision-making.
Biases can cloud our judgment, but with the strategies outlined in this
chapter, you'll learn to identify and overcome them. From improving your
critical thinking skills to mastering logical arguments, this video
will empower you to think faster and more accurately.
Don't miss out on these essential tips to stay ahead of the curve! Click
the link below to get your hands on a copy of 'Practical Intelligence'
and start your journey towards becoming smarter ASAP:
https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
Mark Connor on Boxing, Writing, and Reconnecting with Faith | The Science of Self
See the full interview at https://youtu.be/EhcVLPlyiGk
In this episode of The Science of Self, we sit down with Mark Connor, a literary pugilist from St. Paul, Minnesota. Mark discusses his unique career path merging boxing and writing, and his successful book, 'It's About Time,' which explores his relationship with his father and his spiritual journey. Tune in to hear about Mark's deep connection with his Catholic faith, his involvement with the Native American community, and how he navigates both worlds with respect and authenticity. Mark also shares insights on the discipline required in both writing and boxing, and offers thoughts on moral values and personal growth.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:17 Mark Connor's Background and Book Overview
01:12 Themes and Inspirations Behind the Book
01:53 Mark's Journey with Faith and Community
04:48 Involvement with Native American and Irish Communities
08:02 Reflections on Faith, Morality, and Writing
13:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Awakening Your Inner Billionaire with Debbie Dobbins | The Science of Self
Hear the full interview Here - https://self-growth.captivate.fm/episode/unleashing-your-inner-billionaire-with-debbie-dobbins/
In this episode of The Science of Self, our host interviews Debbie Dobbins, author of 'Your Inner Billionaire.' Debbie, who calls herself the barefoot thought leader, shares her journey of awakening her inner billionaire—an inner mindset of freedom and abundance—despite facing serious life challenges, including a cancer diagnosis and financial hardship. This conversation delves into the importance of gratitude, brainwave frequencies, the power of storytelling, and practices such as meditation and future journaling. Debbie also explores how spirituality and consciousness contribute to a fulfilling life. Tune in to learn how to reveal your true self and cultivate abundance in all areas of your life.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:12 Debbie's Journey to Writing 'Your Inner Billionaire'
00:30 The Concept of the Inner Billionaire
01:22 Debbie's Personal Struggles and Lessons Learned
02:36 The Power of Gratitude
06:09 Understanding Brainwave Frequencies and Hypnotherapy
09:23 Spirituality vs. Religion
11:44 Manifestation and Abundance
13:44 Practical Tips for Building Abundance
15:46 Final Thoughts and Resources
Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleasing Others (if that’s okay with you…) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 9) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3To6NDu
00:00:00.000 Hello listeners, and welcome to Social Skills Coaching
00:02:11.800 Trevor Powell is a psychologist and assertiveness expert
00:02:24.120 Direct NO
00:03:56.560 Reflecting NO
00:04:45.720 Raincheck NO
00:05:59.800 Enquiring NO
00:07:17.280 Broken Record NO
00:11:28.080 Challenging the Beliefs that Stop You from Saying No
00:13:50.000 Takeaways
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7GWJN4F
Are you tired of putting others first? It's time to stand up for
yourself! In this episode, we dive into the world-renowned book by
Patrick King, 'Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries,' and uncover
practical ways to practice self-care. Discover the art of saying NO with
confidence and fearlessness. From direct refusals to reflecting on your
priorities, learn six unique methods to set boundaries without guilt.
Join us as we explore why being nice to yourself is essential for a
fulfilling life. Click above to buy the book now! Let's embrace our
right to prioritize ourselves and bid farewell to anxiety-induced
people-pleasing!"
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:18 Jonathan's Background and Cancer Journey
00:46 Living with Uncertainty
02:10 Coping Mechanisms and Mindfulness
04:58 Life Lessons and Mindful Living
06:45 Optimistic Realism and Spirituality
10:02 Supporting Others with Cancer
11:37 Final Advice and Conclusion
Full podcast at https://self-growth.captivate.fm/episode/surviving-the-unsurvivable-optimistic-realism-with-jonathon-gluck/
Join us on The Science of Self as we welcome Jonathan Gluck, author of 'An Exercise In Uncertainty'. Jonathan shares his 20+ year journey as a cancer patient, thriving in a state of treatable yet incurable cancer. We delve into the emotional and practical strategies he has learned to cope with uncertainty, drawing insights from his life and his extensive research, including interviews with experts like sociology professor Kate Sweeney. Discover valuable life lessons on mindfulness, realistic optimism, and the importance of taking action now. Whether you’re facing serious challenges or seeking self-improvement, this episode offers wisdom and inspiration for everyone.
https://www.amazon.com/Exercise-Uncertainty-Memoir-Illness-Hope/dp/0593735781
https://www.audible.com/pd/An-Exercise-in-Uncertainty-Audiobook/B0DJHBLVQ6
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/2320094/jonathan-gluck/#
https://lithub.com/the-craft-of-this-mortal-coil-jonathan-gluck-on-writing-a-different-cancer-story/
00:00:08 We welcome you today to Social Skills Coaching
00:10:38 The Procrastination Cycle.
00:11:54 1. Unhelpful assumptions or made-up rules.
00:12:07 2. Increasing discomfort.
00:12:19 3. Excuses for procrastination to decrease psychological discomfort.
00:12:36 4. Avoidance activities to decrease psychological discomfort.
00:12:50 5. Negative and positive consequences.
00:14:06 Takeaways
The Science of Getting Started: How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/4biaP9J
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S4GSHZY
Are you tired of letting procrastination hold you back from achieving your goals? It's time to become a productivity powerhouse! In this episode, we dive into the groundbreaking book "The Science of Getting Started" by Patrick King. Discover why procrastination is an opportunity assassin and learn how to break free from its grip on your life.
Chapter 1 reveals the shocking truth about why you might be a 'couch potato' and how it's linked to your tendency to delay tasks. We explore the vicious cycle of procrastination and provide insights into understanding and overcoming psychological barriers.
King delves deep into the biological and evolutionary reasons behind our procrastination habits, offering a scientific approach to beating these instinctual drives. Get ready to transform your life by applying these powerful strategies! With studies analyzed and practical tips provided, you'll be equipped to slay your personal procrastination monster once and for all.
--
Don't miss out on this opportunity to boost your productivity and achieve success faster. Click the link in the description to purchase the book and get started on your journey towards a more disciplined and fulfilling life.
Hear it Here: https://adbl.co/4biaP9J
In this episode, Malitta Seamon shares her journey as a wife, mother, entrepreneur, and former CEO. She details her evolution towards leading a more authentic life through her organization, Inbound Leadership, and discusses her co-authored book 'Mindset Freedom' set to release on May 17th.
Full conversation is at https://youtu.be/8qwlMHaQyDE
Malitta candidly recounts the challenges of living a life that wasn't truly fulfilling and the pivotal moments that led her to abandon a successful business. She emphasizes the importance of being present, listening to inner voices, and the transformative power of proving one's desire for happiness. This heartfelt narrative offers valuable lessons on living authentically, making small meaningful changes, and pursuing inner peace over external success.
00:00 Introduction: Meet Malitta Seamon
00:12 The Journey to Authentic Living
01:35 Questioning Life's Path
02:34 The Turning Point: Choosing Happiness
04:41 Prove It: The Methodology
07:10 The Importance of Presence
09:01 Making Small Changes
11:35 Working with Malitta: Retreats and Workshops
13:15 Daily Practices for Centering
14:48 Conclusion: Finding Peace and Happiness
The Science of Reading People: How to Understand What People Are Really Saying and Why (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 26) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/47LRdYk
00:00:00 Hello listeners
00:02:27 Perceptual Selectivity
00:03:54 Attribution
00:05:20 Stereotyping
00:06:41 The Halo Effect
00:08:22 Projection
00:09:33 Perceptual Set
00:10:51 Implicit Personality Theory
00:12:27 Expectancy
00:13:53 Perceptual Defense
00:15:12 Improving Your Perceptual Accuracy
00:22:59 Summary
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTYQXK62
Uncover the Science of Reading People with Patrick King's New Book"
Are you ready to unlock the secrets of human behavior and become a master of perception? In this episode, we dive into the fascinating world of behavioral psychology and explore how it can be applied to our daily lives. Join us as we discuss "The Science of Reading People," a captivating book by Patrick King, which offers an in-depth look at understanding others and becoming more charismatic.
In Chapter 1, we uncover the barriers that hinder accurate perception: perceptual selectivity, attribution, stereotyping, and more. Discover how these psychological concepts influence our interactions and shape our perceptions of others. Learn practical tips to improve your own perceptual accuracy and develop a deeper understanding of those around you.
With tons of science-backed methods and an easy-to-understand approach, this book is a game-changer for anyone looking to enhance their social skills and become more likable. Don't miss out on this opportunity to boost your people skills and take control of how others perceive you! Click the link in the description to grab your copy now: httpsadbl.co47LRdYk
Whether you're a business professional, a student, or just someone looking to navigate social situations with ease, "The Science of Reading People" is an essential guide that will leave you feeling more confident and charismatic. Let's explore the power of perception together!
Remember to check out our podcast episode for even more insights and don't forget to subscribe for future content!
00:06:27 The True Win-Win
00:09:27 Unconscious Obstacles
00:23:42 But They’re Boring…
00:30:22 All Hail Conan
00:40:09 Summary and Takeaways
How to Listen with Intention: The Foundation of True Connection, Communication, and Relationships (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 7) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08B5QRV5X
Discover the secret to building deep and meaningful connections with Patrick King's latest book, "How to Listen with Intention." In this episode, we dive into Chapter 1, where you'll learn the art of active listening and why it's a game-changer in your relationships.
Did you know that by simply focusing on listening, you can go from a stranger to a cherished friend? It's time to unlock the true win-win situation! But beware, there are unconscious obstacles that might bore you (and your potential friends!). We'll explore these pitfalls and provide tips on how to avoid them.
Patrick King also highlights the importance of creating a balance in relationships - giving and taking equally. Are you guilty of being a conversational narcissist? Find out with this eye-opening chapter!
Transformative Leadership: The Power of Belief and Positivity with Dan Bowling
In this episode of 'The Science of Self,' host [Host Name] introduces guest Dan Bowling, founder and owner of a globally recognized sales and marketing firm. Dan shares his journey from overcoming personal adversity to achieving professional success. He discusses his company’s unique approach to scaling consumer product brands across multiple channels and his commitment to redefining success beyond profits through philanthropy and community outreach. Key themes include the importance of nurturing a positive belief system, consistent action, and celebrating small victories. Dan also delves into his company’s employee retention strategies, the impact of meditation, and the significance of protecting one's mental inputs from negativity. Listeners are encouraged to educate versus entertain, embrace challenges as opportunities, and celebrate not only their personal but also their organization's achievements.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:31 Dan Bowling's Business Journey
01:23 Philanthropy and Redefining Success
03:20 Creating a Better Story
11:35 The Power of Belief and Consistency
16:27 Overcoming Adversity and Personal Growth
23:04 Hiring and Company Culture
27:14 Celebrating Success and Building Momentum
28:22 The Flywheel Effect and Company Resilience
29:35 Overcoming Negativity and Embracing Opportunities
32:38 The Power of Small Steps and Consistency
33:15 Guarding Your Beliefs and Meditation
35:46 Incorporating Social Impact into Business
41:13 Celebrating Successes and Learning from Failures
48:17 Final Thoughts and Practical Advice
Dan Bowling is the president and founder of The Genesis company, a globally recognized consumer products commercialization firm. Under his leadership, his firm has redefined what success looks like for CEO’s and founders by using his company to serve as many people as possible, starting first with his own team, then his clients, and also his community.
The GC has not only earned prestigious accolades such as Inc Magazine’s “Best of” winner three times, but also won Sales Firm of the Year in 2024, and a Global Award for its industry’s Amazon division. But, what he’s most proud of is that he has a 100% employee retention rate and his firm is has fed over 1 million children, saved 200 girls from human trafficking, and provided domestic abuse counseling to 100 kids.
Discovering True Wellbeing with Colby Wilk: Intuition, Empathy, and Self-Realization
FREE GIFT FOR LISTENERS
The First Step to Finding Your Way – a short, powerful practice to help people reconnect with their truth and move forward with clarity.
https://colbywilk.com/the-first-secret-to-finding-your-way/
ONE SHEET: https://colbywilk.com/one-sheet/
In this insightful episode, we sit down with Colby Wilke, an intuitive guide and healer, to explore the concept of 'wayfinding.' Colby shares his unique approach to helping individuals discover their true selves and the life that calls to them, emphasizing the importance of intuition and empathy. He delves into the distinctions between empathy and being highly sensitive, discussing the challenges and gifts of each. Colby also addresses the misconceptions around wellbeing and the importance of self-realization over material success. Tune in to learn about the journey of becoming oneself and the role of spirituality versus religion, along with practical tips on how to navigate life’s challenges and uncertainties.
00:00 Introduction
00:30 Understanding the Role of a Wayfinder
03:15 Exploring Empathy and Being an Empath
11:17 Defining Highly Sensitive People
15:06 Spirituality vs. Religion
20:17 Colby's Industry and Daily Work
29:05 Self-Realization and Self-Actualization
33:25 Accessing and Enhancing Empathy
35:13 Navigating Psychic Abilities and Ego
38:53 Understanding and Controlling Gifts
43:04 The Journey to Self-Discovery
56:09 The Process of Letting Go
58:39 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
00:11:08 Reading Out Loud
00:17:01 Choose a Role Model
00:23:57 The landmark study on modeling and social learning
00:24:24 Life is a Series of Stories
00:29:59 Plumping up Your Conversation Resume
How to Engage, Connect, & Captivate: Become the Social Presence You've Always Wanted To Be. Small Talk, Meaningful Communication, & Deep Connections By: Patrick King
http://bit.ly/EngageConnectKimg
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0952B32XQ
Dive into this episode as we explore Chapter 2 of Patrick King's book, "How to Engage, Connect, and Captivate." Discover powerful strategies to enhance your social presence and transform mundane conversations into meaningful connections. Learn why reading out loud is an essential practice for improving communication skills and how choosing a role model can inspire your own charisma.
We'll uncover the secret to crafting captivating stories from everyday life experiences and discuss practical ways to "plump up" your conversation resume. Don't miss this insightful episode! Take control of your interpersonal relationships and become the confident, engaging presence you've always wanted to be. Get ready to embark on a journey towards more fulfilling connections!
00:00:00 Hello listeners
00:01:33 The visionary
00:11:54 Be present, build presence
00:29:46 Change your attitude to strangers
00:35:28 “Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow."
Massive Charisma: Likability, Charm, Presence, and Success With People By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72
https://www.amazon.com/MASSIVE-CHARISMA-Likability-Succeed-Charismatic-ebook/dp/B0C7Q9FBM8
Are you ready to take your social skills to the next level? In this episode, we dive into Chapter 2 of Massive Charisma by Patrick King. Discover the secrets to building real-world charisma and learn from experts Fox Cabane and Howard Friedman on how to exude power, presence, and warmth in any situation.
How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth: Make People Reveal Their True Thoughts and Intentions Without Them Even Knowing It (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 12) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B093ZRPCDK
Dive deep into the second chapter of Patrick King's book, "How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth." Learn powerful techniques to navigate conversations with ease. From putting questions in context to recognizing elicitation tactics, this episode uncovers the secrets behind getting honest responses. Discover insights from FBI experts, psychologists, and renowned lawyers. Uncover the truth, enhance your likability, and boost your charisma. Watch now to master the art of conversation!
00:00:04 Today is April 17th, 2025
00:03:45 Psychologist Tasha Eurich and colleagues conducted a massive study on self-awareness
00:05:43 Low internal SA, low external SA – SEEKERS
00:06:00 Low internal SA, high external SA – PLEASERS
00:06:18 High internal SA, low external SA – INTROSPECTORS
00:06:37 High internal SA, High external SA - AWARE
The Art of Self-Awareness: How to Dig Deep, Introspect, Discover Your Blind Spots, and Truly Know Thyself By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3J5AJhH
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09Q29TLNW
In this insightful episode, we explore the transformative power of self-awareness. Our host takes you on a journey through 'The Art of Self-Awareness' by Patrick King, uncovering the three crucial levels of self-understanding. From recognizing your actions to understanding your emotions and blind spots, this video delves into Kegan's theory of adult development. Join us as we discuss why looking within is essential for personal growth and how it can lead to a more fulfilling life. Get ready to embark on an inward expedition and discover the incredible rewards that await! Grab your copy of 'The Art of Self-Awareness' now at https://adbl.co/3J5AJhH"
Self-awareness is not just about knowing personal details; it's a deep exploration of what triggers happiness or sadness, and the core beliefs that shape these emotions. Most people seek solutions externally, but King asserts that true change begins within. It's time to uncover the hidden gems beneath the surface.
We will be covering an introduction and Chapter 1 of this thought-provoking book. The chapter delves into the three levels of self-awareness: what you do, feel, and are unaware of. This episode also explores Kegan’s theory of adult development, offering a comprehensive understanding of personal growth.
The book is available on Amazon, while the audiobook can be found on Amazon, iTunes, and Audible. For more insights, visit Patrick King's website at bitly - PKConsulting. Join us as we embark on this exciting exploration of self-discovery!
00:00:00 Today is April 9th, 2025
00:03:23 “Reward learning”
00:14:27 Rubber Hits the Road
00:23:56 The Takeaway
Motivation Triggers: Psychological Tactics for Energy, Willpower, Self-Discipline, and Fast Action (Clear Thinking and Fast Action Book 9) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/motivationtriggersking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08K8DQKRJ
Discover the secret to transforming from a sloth into a powerhouse of productivity! In this episode, we dive deep into the fascinating world of dopamine - the motivation molecule. We'll explore how your body's natural rhythms and everyday routines can either energize or drain you, and most importantly, learn practical strategies on how to create an environment that fosters success and keeps you sprinting towards your goals. Say goodbye to procrastination and hello to a life of action and achievement!
Motivation Triggers: Psychological Tactics for Energy, Willpower, Self-Discipline, and Fast Action (Clear Thinking and Fast Action Book 9) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/motivationtriggersking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08K8DQKRJ
"Discover the secrets of motivation in this enlightening video! Explore how evolutionary action can hack your brain and body to boost energy, willpower, self-discipline, and fast action. Learn about Sung Il-Kim's tripartite framework for cultivating motivation and how to generate, sustain, and regulate it effectively. Uncover the key role of dopamine levels, circadian rhythm, and exercise in your journey towards motivation. Don't procrastinate! Click now and take a step towards unlocking your true potential!"
Book Link: https://bit.ly/motivationtriggersking
In this episode, we'll dive into the science behind starting tasks with enthusiasm instead of procrastination. We’ll explore how to hack our brains and bodies for maximum energy while staying focused on goals. The book provides strategies that tap into your evolutionary drive towards action by understanding psychological tactics surrounding motivation, willpower, self-discipline, fast thinking, triggers, habit loops, reward systems—all of which are essential to taking control over our minds and behaviors for success in all facets.
"Motivation Triggers - Psychological Tactics for Energy, Willpower, Self-Discipline, and Fast Action", is available on Amazon as both a paperback and an audiobook—and can also be found at iTunes or Audible to enjoy it anytime! Visit the author's website: PKConsulting.com
Let’s get started by learning how we can transform our lives from complete apathy into full sprint, together!
The Science of Social Intelligence: 45 Methods to Captivate People, Make a Powerful Impression, and Subconsciously Trigger Social Status and Value [Second ... (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 7) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0893ZRW1B
Hello, listeners! This is Russell on "Social Skills Coaching," where we're delving into social psychology to become more likable, charismatic, and productive. Today, March 26, 2025, brings an exciting episode with a special focus from Patrick King’s book, The Science of Social Intelligence.
In this book, You’ll learn to understand and leverage motivation and popularity dynamics in social situations for better outcomes. We will cover key topics such as how dominance is different than prestige but equally important to projecting an appealing persona, why warmth matters more over competence when forming connections with others, and strategies to increase your own perceived value without compromising personal integrity or authenticity. Join us in unraveling the science of social interaction that will empower you for better relationships today!
MASSIVE CHARISMA: Small Talk, Charm, Likability, and How to Succeed With People (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 31) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3uhUQ6T
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C7Q9FBM8
"Discover the secrets to developing your own personal gravity with concrete skills to stand out, be noticed, and captivate people. In this episode, we dive into "MASSIVE CHARISMA - Small Talk, Charm, Likability, and How to Succeed With People" by Patrick King, uncovering the five distinct charismatic traits that can transform your social interactions: likeability and warmth, power and influence, emotional intelligence, presence, awareness, and self-control, and social intelligence and leadership. Learn from real-life celebrities and historical figures, such as Will Smith and Marilyn Monroe, how to effectively tick all five charisma boxes in your unique way. Find out how to design your own unique charisma formula by honestly rating your performance in each area and committing to taking action today to improve. Don't miss this opportunity to elevate your social skills and make a powerful personal impact! #Charisma #SocialSkills #PatrickKing"
00:00:00 Hello Listeners
00:03:11 Get a Little Uncomfortable
00:09:00 Tiny Steps
Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/takerapidactionking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082YZ95LV
Are you tired of saying "I'll do it later" and feeling stuck in a cycle of inaction? Look no further! In this episode, we dive deep into the world of productivity and efficiency with Patrick King's book, "Take Rapid Action."
Discover how quieting your overthinking through the Premortem Analysis and Ostrich Theory can help you overcome procrastination and laziness. Learn actionable rules to get started before you feel 100% ready, and how taking tiny steps can lead to significant progress.
We'll also explore how comfort inaction is sabotaging your success, and how strategically planning your days can prevent distractions and promote efficiency. Uncover what you think is action but is actually a waste of time, and how bundling tasks can defeat procrastination once and for all.
Join us as we break inertia overthinking paralysis sloth and insecurity to transform from struggling with getting off our butt to becoming a machine of productivity. Take rapid action now and start hitting your goals like never before!
How to Listen, Hear, and Validate: Break Through Invisible Barriers and Transform Your Relationships (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 11) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08WLBD418
📚 Are you looking for ways to improve your relationships and become more likable and charismatic? In this podcast episode and YouTube video, we delve into the powerful techniques presented in "How to Listen, Hear, and Validate: Break Through Invisible Barriers and Transform Your Relationships" by Patrick King.
In Chapter 2, we explore the concept of Validation - The Basic Steps and how it plays a crucial role in effective communication. We discuss the framework outlined by Patrick King, which consists of six key steps:
-
How to be present and listen
-
How to reflect and ask questions
-
How to mindread using feeling words
-
How to find context, validate, and center their experience
-
How to normalize and refrain from judgment
-
How to show genuine validation by being real
By mastering these techniques, you'll be able to break through invisible barriers, transform your relationships, and become more likable and charismatic in the process.
🔗 Get your copy of "How to Listen, Hear, and Validate" by Patrick King: https://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking
Discover the power of Validation and elevate your communication skills. Watch this video now to learn how to be present, listen, reflect, ask questions, mindread using feeling words, find context and validate, normalize without judgment, and show genuine validation in your relationships.
00:00:00 Hello Listeners
00:03:29 A Glimpse Beneath the Mask
00:05:12 The 2014 French movie Force Majeure explored this concept in an interesting way.
Become A Human Behavior Scientist: Observe, Read, Understand, and Decode People With Minimal Information (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 18) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/424plO2
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KQFLNSC
Discover the hidden art of reading people like a book with our exclusive YouTube video covering Chapter 2 of Patrick King's bestseller "Become A Human Behavior Scientist".
In this chapter, we dive deep into understanding the subtle cues and habits that reveal someone's true intentions, personality, background, and goals. Beyond surface-level observations, learn how to peel back the layers of human behavior using proven psychological principles and superior observational skills.
Our video explores:
-
The science behind effective people reading
-
How emotional and social intelligence play a crucial role in understanding others
-
The difference between generic books on body language vs. mastering human behavior
Join us as we unravel the secrets to becoming a true mind reader and gaining insight into what people are thinking without even saying a word. Get ready to level up your social skills, likability, and charisma by learning how to decode people with minimal information.
Don't miss out - grab your copy of "Become A Human Behavior Scientist" today at [book link] and hear it here: https://adbl.co/424plO2
Train Your Empathy: How to Cultivate the Single Most Important
Relationship Skill By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3shIydQ
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BDXLTRD2
Get ready to transform your relationships with "Train Your Empathy" by
Patrick King! In this groundbreaking book and accompanying podcast
episode, discover the power of empathy and how it can help you build
deeper connections with others.
In Chapter 1, dive into the fascinating world of empathy as we explore
its neurobiology, types, and importance in our lives. Learn the
difference between cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and
compassionate empathy, and find out which type is crucial for
maintaining strong relationships.
Throughout this enlightening journey, you'll uncover the secrets to
cultivating your own empathy skills, allowing you to truly understand
and support those around you. Patrick King's expertise shines through as
he guides you through the nuances of balancing compassion with
self-care, ensuring that you remain emotionally healthy while helping
others.
Whether you're seeking to improve your personal or professional
relationships, "Train Your Empathy" provides the tools you need to
succeed. As you navigate the topics covered in this podcast episode and
YouTube video, prepare to be inspired and equipped with the knowledge to
create more meaningful connections.
Don't miss out on this opportunity to revolutionize your relationships!
Get your copy of "Train Your Empathy" today and start your empathy
journey now: https://adbl.co/3shIydQ
Looking to boost your charisma and become more likable? In this video,
we'll explore the chameleon effect and attitude similarity to help
unlock your charisma!
The Science of Likability: 67 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate
Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger
Attraction (4th Ed.) (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 12) By:
Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3BXFuHQ
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09RW4ZJB3
Discover the science behind being liked and loved by everyone around
you. In this groundbreaking video, we dive deep into the 4th edition of
Patrick King's bestseller "The Science of Likability" to reveal
evidence-based methods that will make you radiate charm, impress others,
win friends, and attract people effortlessly.
Based on over 67 seminal scientific studies and psychological research,
including works from renowned minds like Sigmund Freud, Ivan Pavlov,
Stanley Schachter, and Daniel Goleman, this video distills actionable
insights into a comprehensive guide for personal growth and social
success. Learn how to subconsciously make yourself likable, trustworthy,
and intelligent by understanding what makes people tick and
strategically applying these findings in your daily life.
Our expert analysis covers topics such as creating equity within
relationships, the power of similarity in friendships, using eye contact
to build trust, and even how tripping or vulnerability can positively
impact social dynamics. You'll also discover universal definitions of
charisma, wit, and humor, alongside practical tips on eye contact,
touch, and charm.
Unlock the hidden force that propels people forward - likability - which
opens doors to better career opportunities, love life, relationships,
and friendships. Embrace Patrick King's science-backed wisdom to become
someone's favorite person and experience the transformative power of
likability in your life.
Don't miss out on this chance to hear it here: https://adbl.co/3BXFuHQ
Discover how to create a foundation for friendship, embrace the
psychology of social dynamics, and master the art of making people love
you. Watch now and start radiating charisma today!
Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:
https://www.magicmind.com/ERICJAN
00:11:26 Introvert Defined
00:15:54 Biological Differences
00:18:12 Kinds Of Introverts
00:28:42 Self-sabotage, And Why You Stay In Your Comfort Zone
00:40:18 The STAR acronym explains four main types
The Introvert Survival Guide: How to Stretch your Comfort Zone, Feel Comfortable Anywhere, and Become a “People Person” By: Patrick King
https://bit.ly/IntrovertSurvivalKing
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0976S4RGT
Are you an introvert struggling with social situations? Tired of feeling like a party pooper or doing a bad impression of an extrovert? Look no further!
In this video, we'll explore the revolutionary book "The Introvert Survival Guide" by Patrick King. Discover how to turn your introversion into an advantage and thrive in any social setting.
Learn:
-
How to understand and embrace your true introverted nature
-
Practical strategies for surviving and thriving in parties and demanding social obligations
-
The science behind introversion and why you recharge differently than extroverts
-
How to make deep connections, escape interactions gracefully, and implement introvert life design
-
Tips for feeling completely at ease with yourself while being a social powerhouse
This book is your ultimate guide to mastering social situations without social fatigue.
No more self-sabotage or staying in your comfort zone! Patrick King, an international bestselling author and social skills coach (and fellow introvert), shares his insights on how you can conquer your fears and make the most out of every interaction.
Join us as we dive deep into each chapter, uncovering the secrets to becoming a people person while staying true to yourself. Whether you want to make friends, network at work, or navigate romantic relationships, this guide has got you covered!
Don't miss out on this life-changing opportunity to boost your confidence and get out of your shell. Get ready to embrace your introversion, find your solitude in our loud world, and become the social powerhouse you've always wanted to be.
Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with my link:
https://www.magicmind.com/ERICJAN
00:00:00 Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleasing Others
00:03:32 The Terrible Tale of the “Gunnysack”
00:07:26 Try a Hypothetical
00:10:54 Use the “Five Whys” technique
Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleasing Others (if that’s okay with you…) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 9) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3To6NDu
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7GWJN4F
Are you tired of putting everyone else's needs before your own? Do you constantly seek approval and validation? If so, you might be a people-pleaser. In this video, we dive deep into the psychology behind people-pleasing and provide practical strategies to break free from this harmful pattern. Discover how to build self-worth, set boundaries, and overcome the fear of rejection. Learn powerful techniques like the "separation of tasks" exercise and how to challenge your self-limiting beliefs. It's time to reclaim your life and prioritize your own happiness. This video is your first step towards becoming a more confident and authentic version of yourself.
People-pleasing is a learned behavior that can be changed.
Your worth is not determined by others' approval.
Setting boundaries is essential for your well-being.
Overcoming fear of rejection is possible.
Self-compassion is key to personal growth.
peoplepleasing #selflove #mentalhealth #personalgrowth #confidence #boundaries
Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleasing Others (if that’s okay with you…) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 9) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3To6NDu
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7GWJN4F
Are you tired of putting everyone else's needs before your own? Do you constantly seek approval and validation? If so, you might be a people-pleaser. In this video, we dive deep into the psychology behind people-pleasing and provide practical strategies to break free from this harmful pattern. Discover how to build self-worth, set boundaries, and overcome the fear of rejection. Learn powerful techniques like the "separation of tasks" exercise and how to challenge your self-limiting beliefs. It's time to reclaim your life and prioritize your own happiness. This video is your first step towards becoming a more confident and authentic version of yourself.
Takeaways:
People-pleasing is a learned behavior that can be changed.
Your worth is not determined by others' approval.
Setting boundaries is essential for your well-being.
Overcoming fear of rejection is possible.
Self-compassion is key to personal growth.
Do you struggle to say no? Do you constantly put others' needs before your own?
In this video, we'll delve into the key concepts from Patrick King's book, The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, and equip you with the tools you need to confidently stand up for yourself and get what you want.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/assertivenessking
https://www.amazon.com/Art-Everyday-Assertiveness-Boundaries-Control-ebook/dp/B07N51DJ5V
You'll learn:
The importance of assertiveness in achieving your goals
How to identify and challenge the beliefs that hold you back from speaking your mind
Practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries and protecting your time and energy
Effective communication techniques for saying no gracefully and without guilt
How to prioritize your own happiness and well-being
This video is your roadmap to a more assertive and fulfilling life. Stop letting others dictate your choices – take charge and start living on your own terms! Today's episode is from the book 'The Art of Everyday Assertiveness' by Patrick King. In this book, Patrick King teaches you how to stand your ground without guilt, fear, or awkward tension. Finally, get what you deserve and stop 'letting it slide.' Stop enabling, sacrificing your needs, people pleasing, and being so 'agreeable.' This is a guide for the chronically 'nice,' 'overwhelmed,' and 'accommodating.' The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is available on Amazon, and the audiobook is available on Amazon, iTunes, and Audible. Assertiveness requires a delicate balance, especially if you are new to it. You may have started as too passive, but take care to not swing into the aggressive territory where you are robbing other people of their needs. You can’t control what others do or how they might respond to you, but you can control your own behavior.
Remember Tony Robbins' six needs of human happiness: certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution. These are what's at stake every time you choose to shrink away from asserting yourself.
Ultimately, the power to live as you want is within your hands, not dictated by others' acceptance. Yes, sometimes this might ruffle some feathers, but you're not living for them.
And finally, don't forget to write down your personal bill of rights and post it somewhere visible. These are your rights, not privileges.
The Art of Everyday Assertiveness by Patrick King is available on Amazon, and the audiobook is available on Amazon, iTunes, and Audible
00:00:00 Unspoken Social Rules & Etiquette, (Un)common Sense, &
How to Act (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 25) Written by
Patrick King Narrated by Russell Newton.
Unspoken Social Rules & Etiquette, (Un)common Sense, & How to
Act (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 25) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3lsqXzM
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BRWMQNRF
Ever feel awkward when meeting new people?
Unsure of the right way to greet someone?
Fret no more! This video dives into Chapter 1 of Patrick King's book,
"Unspoken Social Rules & Etiquette," unpacking the secrets to
mastering greetings and introductions.
In this video, you'll learn:
The difference between informal and formal greetings
How to make a confident first impression
Tips for mastering introductions that leave a lasting positive
impact
Unspoken social cues to avoid awkwardness
Say goodbye to social blunders and hello to effortless communication!
Plus, get a sneak peek into Patrick King's insightful guide - "Unspoken
Social Rules & Etiquette."
Don't forget to like and subscribe for more social skills tips and
tricks!
Today, we're diving into the world of apologies, a seemingly simple act
that can have profound implications on our relationships. We'll be
exploring the art of apologizing effectively, drawing insights from
Patrick King's book, "Unspoken Social Rules & Etiquette." This
comprehensive guide covers a wide range of social nuances, from
mastering greetings to navigating difficult conversations. You can find
it on Amazon, and the audiobook is available on Amazon, iTunes, and
Audible.
00:00:00.000 10-Minute Philosophy
00:05:56.080 The Trolley Dilemma.
00:09:57.040 Philosophy Is About Thinking.
00:13:08.600 What’s Your Life Philosophy?
10-Minute Philosophy: From Buddhism to Stoicism, Confucius and Aristotle
- Bite-Sized Wisdom From Some of History's Greatest Thinkers By:
Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/10MinPhil
https://www.amazon.com/10-Minute-Philosophy-Confucius-Aristotle-Bite-Sized-ebook/dp/B07T9QVSX7
Feeling lost and searching for answers? You're not alone! In this
video, we'll explore the exciting world of philosophy with Patrick
King's book, "10-Minute Philosophy."
We'll break down complex ideas from some of history's greatest thinkers,
like Buddha, Stoics, Confucius, and Aristotle, all in
easy-to-understand, bite-sized chunks.
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6A2fzPodcast
00:00:00 The Independent Thinker Written by Patrick King Narrated by Russell Newton.
00:00:42 The Levels Of Mastering Independent Thought.
00:01:56 Level 1 - A Patchwork Identity.
00:03:27 Level 2 - Developing trust in the self.
00:06:22 Level 3 - Truly independent thought.
00:14:53 The Fundamentals Of Independent Thought.
00:15:15 Habit 1 - Critical reading.
00:18:10 Habit 2 - Not getting too fond of your own perspective.
00:20:30 Habit 3 - Being O. K. With Being Disliked.
00:23:01 Habit 4 - Always staying curious.
00:29:00 Socrates – teaches us about challenging assumptions.
00:32:09 Niall Ferguson – teaches us the power of counterfactual thinking.
00:34:05 Friedrich Nietzsche – teaches us about perspective.
Are you tired of being spoon-fed information? Do you want to make
smarter decisions and see through manipulation? Independent thinking is
the key to a more examined life. In this video, we'll dive into the
ideas from Patrick King's book "The Independent Thinker"
00:00:00 The Art of Clear Thinking
00:05:14 The Armored Ego.
00:21:32 Obstacles To Honest Thought.
00:34:01 On Forming Opinions.
00:41:49 “Strong opinions which are lightly held” is a helpful rule of
thumb.
"The Art of Clear Thinking" by Patrick King
Hear it Here: https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking
Struggling to think clearly and make sound decisions? You're not alone!
In this video, we'll explore key ideas from Patrick King's book "The Art
of Clear Thinking: Mental Models for Better Reasoning, Judgment,
Analysis, and Learning."
We'll delve into the concept of intellectual honesty and how it's the
foundation of clear thinking. We'll also discuss the obstacles that
prevent us from thinking honestly, such as our ego and biases.
By understanding these challenges, you'll be better equipped to identify
and overcome them. The video will also introduce the concept of mental
models, which are powerful tools for simplifying complex situations and
making better judgments.
Whether you're looking to improve your decision-making skills, avoid
logical fallacies, or simply think more critically, this video offers
valuable insights and practical takeaways.
Ready to upgrade your intellectual toolkit? Get your copy of "The Art
of Clear Thinking" here: https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking
In this video, we'll cover:
What is intellectual honesty and why is it so important?
The biggest obstacle to intellectual honesty (and how you can
overcome it)
How our biases and blind spots cloud our judgment
The difference between real logic and deceptive reasoning
Practical tips for thinking independently
Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08263KGHKDescription:
Feeling like you're missing things or not thinking critically enough? This video is for you!
We'll dive into the world of Practical Intelligence by Patrick King, exploring how to:
Look beneath the surface: Learn to deconstruct situations and uncover the hidden truths.
Embrace curiosity: Sharpen your questioning skills and become a master of critical analysis.
Develop a skeptical view: Don't be fooled! Learn to identify biases and make informed decisions.
This video will equip you with the tools to think critically, analyze deeply, and make smarter decisions in all areas of your life.
In this video, learn how to master the art of conversation through
improv comedy techniques. Improve your banter and leadership skills with
insights from Patrick King!
In today's video, we're going to explore how to improve your
conversation skills using improv comedy techniques.
We'll discuss:
The importance of reading and reacting to everything in a
conversation
How to listen for emotion and be generous with your attention
The power of using improv to think on your feet and come up with
witty banter
I'll also share some practical tips and exercises that you can use to
start improving your conversations right away.
By the end of this video, you'll have a better understanding of how to
apply improv comedy techniques to your conversations and make them more
engaging and enjoyable.
In this video, we'll discuss the key points from Patrick King's book
"How to Speak Effectively: Influence, Engage, & Charm" (How to be
More Likable and Charismatic Book 29). This book is a comprehensive
guide to improving your communication skills and making a lasting
impression on others.
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
00:00:00 How to Speak Effectively
00:06:51 How To Use The Ladder In Your Own Life.
00:28:30 Chunking - Adjusting The Zoom Button.
00:42:58 Think Before You Speak.
We'll cover topics such as:
The Ladder of Inference: Using this framework to understand your assumptions and biases.
How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life: Practical tips for applying the Ladder of Inference to your daily interactions.
Framing: How to present your ideas in a persuasive and engaging way.
Chunking: How to break down complex information into smaller, more manageable chunks.
Conversational Extremists: The Nitpicker and The Philosopher: How to deal with these two common conversational partners.
Think Before You Speak: The importance of pausing and considering your words before you speak.
Understanding "Clean Communication": What it is and how to achieve it.
Ready to captivate audiences and command attention? Join us as we delve
into the world of charisma with Patrick King's groundbreaking book,
"Massive Charisma."
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72
In this episode, we'll explore the essence of charisma, providing a
practical definition and zooming in on the specific qualities that make a
truly charismatic individual. Discover how to cultivate a powerful
charismatic aura that will leave a lasting impression on everyone you
meet. Don't miss this opportunity to unlock your inner potential and
become the charismatic leader you've always aspired to be!
Tired of awkward conversations? Learn how to avoid the top
conversational landmines that can ruin your social interactions.
In this video, we dive into Chapter 1 of Patrick King's book, How to
Engage, Connect, & Captivate, and explore the 5 things you should
never do when talking to others. Discover how to avoid playing the cool
guy, being a boring know-it-all, bringing your ego to the party,
bragging, and mismatching energy. By understanding these conversational
pitfalls, you can become a more engaging and likable person.
How to Engage, Connect, & Captivate: Become the Social Presence
You've Always Wanted To Be. Small Talk, Meaningful Communication, &
Deep Connections By: Patrick King
http://bit.ly/EngageConnectKimg
00:00:00 How to Engage, Connect, & Captivate
00:00:14 Conversational Landmines.
00:01:54 What To Avoid 1 .- Playing At Being The Cool Guy.
00:08:58 What To Avoid 2 .- Being A Boring Know-It-All.
00:16:06 What To Avoid 3 .- Bringing Your Ego To The Party.
00:24:50 Thing To Avoid 4 .- Bragging.
00:30:58 Thing To Avoid 5 .- Mismatched Energy.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0952B32XQ
Want to know what people are truly thinking without them saying a word?
Join Patrick King as he dives into the fascinating world of human
behavior. In this episode, we'll explore the art of reading emotions and
predicting behavior. Discover how to differentiate between primary and
secondary emotions, and learn to listen to what the body is saying. You
can gain valuable insights into people's attitudes and intentions by
understanding emotions. Don't miss this opportunity to become a master
of human interaction!
00:00:00 Become A Human Behavior Scientist
00:11:15 Understanding Allows Us To Predict.
00:27:57 Learning To Perceive Emotion.
00:37:12 Listening To What The Body Is Saying.
Become A Human Behavior Scientist: Observe, Read, Understand, and Decode
People With Minimal Information (How to be More Likable and Charismatic
Book 18) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/424plO2
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KQFLNSC
Become a student and scientist of body language, mannerisms, and small
tells. Become a “mind reader.”
Discover the science of human connection with psychologist Robin Dunbar
in "The Social Animal." Explore the psychology behind relationships and
social interactions in this captivating book.
The Science of Social Intelligence: 45 Methods to Captivate People, Make
a Powerful Impression, and Subconsciously Trigger Social Status and
Value [Second ... (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 7) By Patrick
King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking
00:00:00 The Science of Social Intelligence
00:06:35 The Importance Of Being Social.
00:17:02 The Social Brain Hypothesis.
00:26:00 The Limits Of Our Sociality.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0893ZRW1B
In this video, we'll explore the fascinating world of social
intelligence and human connection. We'll discuss the importance of being
social, the evolution of our social brains, and the effects of
loneliness. We'll also delve into the limits of our sociality and how to
effectively focus our social efforts.
Here are some key takeaways from this video:
Social intelligence is about how to fit in, charm people, and allow
socializing to help rather than hinder you in achieving your goals.
Our brains grew and developed as a result of needing to be social.
Humans are social animals and need connection to thrive.
There are limits to our social interactions, and we should focus our
efforts on those who are most important to us.
I hope you enjoy this video!
Learn the subtle art of likability and how to make people crave your
presence. Discover the secrets of context-dependent memory and how it
can enhance your social skills.
The Science of Likability: 67 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate
Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger
Attraction (4th Ed.) (The Psychology of Social Dynamics Book 12) By:
Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3BXFuHQ
Learn the power of mindset in people skills before you open your mouth!
Discover the Clever Hans effect and its impact on communication and
perception.
Improve Your People Skills: How to Connect With Anyone, Communicate
Effectively, Develop Deep Relationships, and Become a People Person By
Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3nQxB0N
00:00:00 Improve Your People Skills
00:05:10 Hanlon’s Razor And Assumptions.
00:13:52 The Curiosity Factor.
00:25:05 Walk A Mile For Empathy.
00:28:36 Let’s take Patricia Moore, for example.
00:31:34 It evokes the quote by Brad Meltzer
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XK7WBW2
Learn how to adapt, win people over, and handle just about any social situation.
Your
qualifications and intelligence aren’t what will move you forward in
life. People skills (soft skills, interpersonal skills, social skills,
and likability) are. They allow you to effortlessly glide through life
and roll with the punches, as well as maximize the situations you’ll
find yourself in. When your relationships are harmonious and authentic,
the whole world opens up.
Make Friends Easily: How to Charm and Connect in Record Time By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3u0rxtc
00:00:00 Make Friends Easily
00:06:17 The Friendship Formula.
00:18:17 How To Use Schafer’S Formula To Your Benefit.
00:23:22 Create Your Own Reality Distortion Field.
00:28:39 Stay Present.
00:38:42 Reciprocal Curiosity.
00:52:02 Assume Nothing.
00:54:54 Person, Not Story.
00:57:29 You Go First.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CDWF4WLJ
Making new friends doesn't have to be a chore. Learn how to do it
quickly, efficiently, and effectively.
Networking events? Big group dinners? Karaoke parties? Please, no.
Get past boring small talk and deeply connect with others.
Make Friends Easily - it's a simple task, isn't it? But why is it so
hard in our modern age? There are so many distractions, so why should
people pay attention to you? That's your challenge and task, and this
book provides the answer. You'll learn how to become a presence that
people crave, how to get past shallow conversation, and how to make sure
that your connections are long and lasting.
It's simple, but not easy. So pick up this book to make it easier.
Discover the secrets to building lasting friendships and creating a
powerful personal presence. In this video, we'll explore Dr. Jack
Schafer's "friendship formula" and learn how to apply it to your own
life. We'll also dive into the concept of a reality distortion field and
uncover the techniques used by charismatic individuals to captivate
others.
Learn how to:
Increase proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity to foster
deeper connections.
Create a strong personal presence and leave a lasting impression.
Practice active listening and genuine empathy to build trust and
understanding.
Overcome social anxiety and develop effective communication skills.
Whether you're looking to make new friends or strengthen existing
relationships, this video has something valuable to offer.
How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 14) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/BeHilarious
00:00:00 How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation
00:06:37 Know Your Humor Style.
00:10:22 Finding The Humor In Everyday Life.
00:17:28 Consume More Comedy.
00:23:06 Puns And Dad Jokes.
00:29:03 What Funny Stories Are Made Of.
00:35:31 Funny Analogies.
00:36:37 The Death penalty and the McRib.
00:39:21 The Holy Trinity.
00:42:40 The Art Of Misdirection.
00:49:31 Be Oddly Specific.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09DBPMF23Exact phrases to develop your sense of humor, master witty remarks, make people laugh, and be funnier – even if you’re not naturally funny.
How To Be Hilarious and Quick-Witted in Everyday Conversation is full of strategies that dissect, break down, and analyze all of the types of humor that you’ll encounter in daily conversation – stuff you can really use with people you talk to. We’re not all trying to become standup comedians, and this isn’t a book about ha-ha jokes with setups and punch lines. These are little tips and tactics for you to become noticeably quick and clever.
Make a better impression on people, put them at ease, charm them, and make them smile with you.
Learn witticisms, quips, retorts, comebacks, and wisecracks without being cheesy or corny. Don’t worry if you feel like you’ve never understood humor or how to be funny. I’ve done the work for you and analyzed everyone from comedy writers to standup comedians and given you step-by-step, complete guidance to use common joke structures in everyday situations. Adaptable to any premise, topic, or setting!
Strategies to instantly be clever and witty and sound like a world-class comedian.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after Social Skills and Conversation Coach. He teaches building rapport, and a major part of that is using humor to connect with others – shared moments of laughter are incredible bonding moments, and you'll be able to create them without being "that guy/girl".
Humor is the highway to the relationships you want in life.
•What makes an impactful comedic delivery and storytelling.
•How to use irony and sarcasm conversationally.
•How to create and build a banter chain with others.
•Injecting role play into any situation.
•How to play on people’s expectations and sense of contrast.
•The art of misconstruing.
•Why relatability is so darn funny.
•The famous “comic triple.”#BeHilarious #Charismatic #EverydayConversation #Hilarious #PatrickKing #SocialSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowToBeFunny #ABeginner'SGuideToHumor
Neuroscience-proven guidelines to think, act, and become smarter ASAP. It’s not what you know, it’s how you think.
00:00:00 Practical Intelligence
00:00:17 Look Beneath The Surface.
00:09:15 Curious As A Cat.
00:19:25 A Skeptic’s View.
00:28:10 The Critical Thinker.
00:36:56 Paul-Elder Thinking.
You’ve been fooled before. You’ve missed things. You’ve been slow on the uptake and others have passed you by. Radically transform your thinking for both speed AND accuracy.
Think quickly on your feet to solve problems, overcome obstacles, and win arguments.
Practical Intelligence is not a common “think smarter” book. No, it starts from biological bases of analytical thinking, and how we can re-program ourselves for deep insight. This book provides real, actionable tool after tool, because smart thinking is all about HOW, and not why or what. The bottom line is that you’ll be able to apply this book’s thinking models immediately, until they become habit.
Better decision-making, smarter reasoning, and greater mental clarity.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author. He has sold over a million books. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Learn to ask the intelligent questions, draw insight, and analyze situations.
•How the body and brain must work together for quick thinking.•What it truly means to think deeply and analyze.•How to think about your thinking, and the obstacles that short circuit your good intentions.
Science-based techniques to train your brain for optimal performance.
•Mental models for optimal decision-making.•How to train your brain for speed.•Tips for divergent and creative thinking - generating ideas.
Never get fooled again and find the truth in situations quickly.
At first glance, most things seem fine. And maybe ignorance is bliss. But to think clearly, deeply, quickly, and effectively - you’ll discover just how much of your life you have been missing, for better or worse.
Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 9)
By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTYQXK62
00:00:00 Read People Like a Book
00:00:04 Why You’Re Probably Doing It Wrong.
00:00:06 The Problem Of Objectivity.
00:00:10 Motivation As A Behavioral Predictor.
00:00:16 Our Inner Child Still Lives.
00:00:18 The Motivation Factor—Pleasure Or Pain.
00:00:23 The Pyramid Of Needs.
00:00:28 Defense Of The Ego.
Speed read people, decipher body language, detect lies, and understand human nature. Is it possible to analyze people without them saying a word? Yes, it is. Learn how to become a “mind reader” and forge deep connections.
How to get inside people’s heads without them knowing.
Hear it Here - http://bit.ly/readpeopleking
Read People Like a Book isn’t a normal book on body language of facial expressions. Yes, it includes all of those things, as well as new techniques on how to truly detect lies in your everyday life, but this book is more about understanding human psychology and nature.
We are who we are because of our experiences and pasts, and this guides our habits and behaviors more than anything else. Parts of this book read like the most interesting and applicable psychology textbook you’ve ever read. Take a look inside yourself and others!
Understand the subtle signals that you are sending out and increase your emotional intelligence.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Learn the keys to influencing and persuading others.
• What people’s limbs can tell us about their emotions.
• Why lie detecting isn’t so reliable when ignoring context.
• Diagnosing personality as a means to understanding motivation.
• Deducing the most with the least amount of information.
• Exactly the kinds of eye contact to use and avoid
Find shortcuts to connect quickly and deeply with strangers.
The art of reading and analyzing people is truly the art of understanding human nature. Consider it like a cheat code that will allow you to see through people’s actions and words.
Decode people’s thoughts and intentions, and you can go in any direction you want with them.
DrJamesDrikell #DrRayBull #FloridaMaximaCorporation #JayOlson #JoeNavarro #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ReadPeopleLikeaBook #UnlockTheSecretsOfPeople #MasterTheArtOfReadingAnyone
Learn how to stop people-pleasing and break free from the need to be
liked. Say goodbye to the disease to please and start living for
yourself!
Stand Up For Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Stop Pleasing
Others (if that’s okay with you…) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 9) By:
Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3To6NDu
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7GWJN4F
Improve Your Conversations: Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What to Say with Improv Comedy Techniques (2nd Edition) (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 10)
By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/improvking
00:00:00 Improve Your Conversations
00:09:46 Spontaneity and Flow
00:15:41 Emotional Intelligence
00:21:26 Play
00:24:50 Make it Easy
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RY4HMHX
Does your mind blank in conversation and create awkward silence? Do you run out of things to say and struggle to keep dialogue flowing?
(A) Conversation isn’t scripted, (B) it’s 100% unpredictable, and (C) it can be terrifying at times. How do you prepare for such a thing? By learning how to apply improv comedy techniques to roll with any punch and improve your conversations and social interactions.
Become quicker and more clever in daily conversation.
Improv(e) Your Conversations teaches the ingenious rules of improv comedy that allow performers to turn boring prompts into memorable interactions worthy of standing ovations. This means there are real frameworks and templates to escape interview mode small talk – and start connecting and building rapport from the moment you say “Hello.” This book goes through over 15 of the most helpful and insightful improv comedy techniques with countless real-life examples to make you a great talker.
Learn the conversational secrets of the world’s best comedians.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Over 15 actionable tips that are actually practical and relateable.
•The three easy ways to always know what to say, even when your mind goes blank.
•What Sherlock Holmes has to do with great rapport.
•How to read people better and what to look for.
•The one goal you must always keep in mind (that you probably don’t even know).
Adapt, witty comeback, reply, and charm in record time.
•What causes awkward silences and how to prevent them.
•How your conversation should resemble a movie.
•How to “flip the switch” to be more entertaining.
Conversation skills are the gatekeeper to the rest of your life.
Improving your conversations gives you the ability to turn a random encounter into a flowing conversation, into a lasting friendship. Fewer acquaintances and more friends, less small talk and more true substance.
•Better networking, better career placement, better job interviews.
•New friendships, improved relationships, and being more attractive to the opposite sex.
•Instant likability and great first impressions."
Banter #Comedy #Conversation #Improv #ImprovComedyTechniques #ImproveYourConversations #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ImproveYourConversations #MasterTheArtOfConversation:LearnFromImprovComedy
How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth: Make People Reveal Their True Thoughts and Intentions Without Them Even Knowing It (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 12) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B093ZRPCDK
00:00:00.000 How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth
00:02:59.000 Look At My Face.
00:14:44.640 Body Talk.
00:33:09.000 Putting It All Together.
00:49:18.560 Thinking In Terms Of Message Clusters.
Learn to quickly read people and draw conclusions from seemingly innocent and easy questions.
Some people are forthcoming, and others are not so much. Either they are guarded, or they are deliberately hiding something. Well, whatever the case, this book is how you crack them and learn exactly what they aren’t saying.
Tips from FBI interrogators, psychologists, and famous lawyers.
How to Extract Info, Secrets, and Truth turns you into an expert reader of intentions, behavior, thoughts, and emotions. The tips in this book are used by professionals to extract valuable knowledge worth millions of dollars.You’ll read about body language, speed reading, thin slicing, and every other technique that has been scientifically proven.
The goal of this book is to arm you with tools to uniquely understand and peel back the layers on people before they even know it. No one will be a puzzle to you anymore.
How to subtly direct a conversation to exactly what you want. Exactly what to look and listen for.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Protect yourself from those trying to probe you.
The value of knowing how to extract information is in understanding human nature. That is the true purpose of this book. Once you know how people think, and what patterns tend to form, you’ll be armed with a powerful tool for the rest of your life.
Charismatic #PatrickKing #RevealTheirTrueThoughts #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth #BecomeAHumanLieDetector:ReadPeopleLikeABook
00:00:00 Intentional Communication
00:03:31 You versus Me ...or Us versus the Problem
00:13:22 Assume People Are Doing Their Best.
00:24:31 Telling The Third Story.
00:34:08 Address the Higher Self, Acknowledge the Emotional Self
00:44:54 Mastering Self-Differentiation
Intentional Communication: Emotional Validation, Listening, Empathy, and the Art of Harmonious Relationships By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3HhRPIm
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09MPQJ3BZ
How to read between the lines and eliminate conflict while improving every single relationship.
Communication is not just chit-chat, and it is not just the words coming out of people’s mouths. It’s like an onion with layers and layers of nuance, and the deeper you go, the more important it becomes. It has the power to transform your relationships, and thus your life. Learn how to utilize this powerful tool to the fullest.
All the tools you need to become the most effective communicator you know.
Intentional Communication is about the most important skill you can ever possess: how to clearly communicate your thoughts and feelings, and receive the same from others. It sounds simple, but then you realize that every day is filled with misunderstandings, passive-aggression, missed opportunities, and emotional outbursts. Why?
Genuine communication that leads to long-lasting relationships is rare, and it’s not easy to discover the gaps that hold us back. This book shows you the way and draws deep into both human psychology and usable tips and tricks to transform the way you relate to others.
How to truly hear people’s thoughts and emotions, while also clearly expressing yours.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience. He used to be turbulent relationships where dueling monologues was the norm. What changed? Implementing the techniques in this book.
The most essential mindsets to ensure comfortable, vulnerable, and satisfying relationships.
The biggest obstacles to healthy communication and listening
What true validation is, and the powerful catharsis it provides
The concept of self-differentiation and how it will change you forever
What an Imago dialogue is and how it can save marriages
Your unconscious contribution to conflict and passive-aggression, and how to conquer it
What empathy and curiosity have to do with each other
How to be immediately trustworthy and empathetic.
People don’t have the time to give you second chances. Put your best foot forward by understanding what really matters in communication. Relationships are the key to happiness and fulfillment, and this book unlocks them.
Apply these principles anywhere: parties, networking events, dates, and family get-togethers.
Communication #HarmoniousRelationships #Imago #IntentionalCommunication #EmotionalValidation #Listening #Empathy #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication #CommunicationBreakthrough: #StopFighting # #StartCollaborating
00:00:00 Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay
00:04:18 Thinking Modalities.
00:05:48 Going Outside The Box.
00:13:30 Mastering Critical Thinking.
00:24:33 Putting It All Together.
Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay: Develop a Quick Wit, Think More Creatively and Cleverly, and Train your Problem-Solving instincts By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CD33V2S
Learn how to ask the right questions, solve problems, and think more clearly.
In traditional education, you're taught to recite and regurgitate. But there is rarely application, and information just becomes information for information’s sake. Does this actually make us smarter and more clever, or do we just get better at taking tests?
Test yourself with over 30 maddening riddles and brain teasers designed to make you think outside the box.
Learn to Think Using Riddles, Brain Teasers, and Wordplay is about how to think backwards, forwards, and sideways. Starting with a conclusion and finding the possible causes forces you to analyze, investigate, draw connections, and hypothesize. You need to explore all angles and let no stone remain unturned. This is exactly what real life requires.This book will confuse, frustrate, and ultimately improve your thinking prowess like nothing else, on account of being thrown into the mental deep end. Challenge yourself and you will grow.
AncientGreekRiddles #AugustKekule #SalvadorDali #ThinkingModalities #UsingRiddles #BrainTeasers #WarrenBerger #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles #BrainTeasers #andWordplay #UnlockYourMind:MasterCriticalThinkingWithRiddles
The Power of E.Q.: Social Intelligence, Reading People, and How to Navigate Any Situation By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3OJ4V72
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C3CC2RM3
Your success in life will depend on how good you are with people. Sorry, that's the harsh truth.
But the good news is that this is a trainable skill - and this book is an amazing start.
Make a smashing first impression and make people crave your presence.
The Power of E.Q. is as practical as a book can be. You will get techniques to use immediately on the people around you, and you will suddenly realize how much you have been missing! You will gain a deep understanding of emotional intelligence and the small signs behind what people are thinking and feeling. Imagine how much more easily you could make friends or befriend business partners if you could analyze them better.
Read and analyze people with such stunning accuracy that they will be shocked.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.
Find the shortcuts to connecting with people in record time.
conversational intelligence and how to empathize in 4 steps
how to step outside of your own perspective and read the emotions of others
cold reading and being an expert at finding "clues" about people
understanding emotions and how to label yourself and others
how high-quality questions will make you seem like a mind reader
DrDurvasula #PatrickKing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #HandlingBigEgos—IncludingYourOwn
Mindful Listening: How To Be Present, Intentional, and Empathetic (How
to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 35)
By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3zldf8Y
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CX1F3HFX
The key behind communication - it's not about what you say. It's how you
shut up.
Empathy and listening - they sound easy, but you know that most people
you meet on a daily basis can't do it. So what's the deal?
Mindful listening is the skill behind deep relationships.
This book is about a skill that isn't complex, but also not easy. It's a
book about relationships and what drives them - what lets you into
people's hearts. Making someone feel seen and heard and important is the
highway to anyone's heart. So it's time to take a look at yourself,
diagnose your issues with connection and listening, and attack new and
old friendships with a more empathetic perspective.
Increase your emotional intelligence and people analyzing skills.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills
coach. His writing draws a variety of sources, from scientific research,
academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.
Listening well is like reading someone's mind. Everything is said for a
reason!
-Understand the purpose of pausing and using silences to your advantage
-How your ego sabotages your listening and how to get around it
-Four types of responses to let people feel seen and heard for sure
-How to validate and normalize someone's experience and emotions
-The art of paraphrasing and the effect it has on someone's levels of
trust
-Listening and thinking - you can't do two things at once, but you can
act like it
-The divide between listening for your own goals, and listening to
understand
ClarifyingQuestions #ComprehensiveListening #CriticalListening #EmotionalPreparedness #EmpathicListening #MindfulListening #ProfessorNadineMarsnik #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #MindfulListening #TheLOSTArtOfListening: #BecomeAMASTERCommunicator
00:00:00 Motivation Triggers
00:00:28 What Is Motivation?
00:02:52 Anything You Want.
00:04:46 What Is Motivation?
00:15:13 Science, History, And Biology.
00:28:44 The Science Of Motivated Action.
00:34:09 Three Primary Theories.
00:34:54 Drives And Needs Theory.
00:35:29 Arousal Theory.
00:36:50 Instinct Theory.
00:54:48 Theories Into Application And Practice.
Have you ever wondered what truly motivates you? This video dives deep into the science behind motivation, exploring its history, biology, and the key theories that explain why we do what we do.
In Chapter 1: Understanding Motivation, you'll learn:
What motivation is and how it differs from happiness and inspiration
How different historical figures viewed motivation
The importance of motivation in achieving your goals
The 3 main theories of motivation: Instinct Theory, Drives & Needs Theory (including Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs), and Personal Arousal Theory
How to leverage these theories to boost your own motivation
By the end of this video, you'll have a solid foundation for understanding what makes you tick and how to harness the power of motivation to crush your goals!
MASSIVE CHARISMA: Small Talk, Charm, Likability, and How to Succeed With People (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 31) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3uhUQ6T
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C7Q9FBM8
Develop your own personal gravity with concrete skills to stand out, be noticed, and captivate people.
If you (1) walk into a room and feel invisible, or (2) want to ensure you make a powerful personal impact – NEWSFLASH: you need better advice than “fake it ‘til you make it” or “just be yourself.”
Confidently approach and excel in any social setting.
MASSIVE CHARISMA is a book that just might fundamentally change how you interact with others. Never before have you looked behind the curtain of so-called charismatic people and the subtle ways they act and think differently. You get the “how to” along with the “why” and a multitude of illustrative examples.
We are always told that our interpersonal skills are the key to what we want in life, and it’s true. Let the actionable tips, questions, approaches, and replicable techniques in this book be your guide to growing your sense of personal magnetism and charm.
Advice from an internationally-known, professional charisma coach.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and teaches charisma and social skills for a living. He’s also a late bloomer and former social recluse – he made the transformation, knows exactly what it takes, and can relate to you every step of the way – advice from someone who simply gets it.
He has been featured in: GQ Magazine, Tedx, Forbes, Men’s Fitness, and the Huffington Post.
The highly focused advice will teach you what matters in an interaction, from beginning to end, subtle to obvious, small to big.
•How to wield your attention and focus for maximum impact.
•How choosing and being a role model help your charisma quotient.
•The subconscious body language signals that matter.
•How to exude true empathy and warmth.
Solve: small talk, interviews, networking events, and strangers.
•How to demonstrate your value, confidence, and powerful presence.
•How to tailor your communication and speak to individuals.
•How to listen and validate effectively.
•The top charisma mistakes people unknowingly commit.
Charisma is the one skill that opens all the doors you want in life, and the benefits are endless.
AffectiveCommunicationTest #BreatheAnchor #BuddhistZen #Cabane #CharismaMyth #FoxCabane #FredMcFeelyRogers #Friedman #FromCabanes #GretaThunberg #HowardFriedman #OliviaFoxCabane #SimsWyeth #SocialPsychology #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MASSIVECHARISMA
Improve Your People Skills: How to Build Relationships Anywhere, with Anyone, in Any Situation By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3nQxB0N
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B2P6YCS2
Become the ultimate people person and social butterfly.
Your qualifications and intelligence aren’t what will move you forward in life. People skills (soft skills, interpersonal skills, social skills, and likability) are. They allow you to effortlessly glide through life and roll with the punches, as well as maximize the situations you’ll find yourself in. When your relationships are harmonious and authentic, the whole world opens up.
Understand people's psychological drives.
Improve Your People Skills is a book of action that allows you to truly understand others and speak their language, no matter what it is. It will fundamentally change your approach to others and you’ll instantly understand where you’ve gone wrong. It goes beyond social intelligence and gives you a blueprint to the psychology of people.
People skills open the doors for your life in a way that literally nothing else can.
Become a captivating, comforting, and desired presence.
Whether it’s winning at work politics, making new friends, or strengthening current relationships, people skills are your quickest and surest route to success – no matter the situation. Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after social skills coach and trainer. He knows firsthand the value of people skills because they rescued him from lackluster grades and jumpstarted his career – the value of “just fitting in anywhere” cannot be understated.
Build trust, create emotional depth, and cultivate intimacy.
How to use empathy on a daily basis
What proxemics are and how to use them
The types of humor that you should and shouldn’t use
Navigating tense situations and conflict
How to argue better
How to respond to people to make them feel heard and valued
Learn how to fit in anywhere, and make any interpersonal situation pleasurable.
PatrickKing #PeopleSkills #Relationship #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills #MasterSocialSkills:EyeContact #BodyLanguage&ActiveListening
Establishing Boundaries: How to Protect Yourself, Become Assertive, Take Back Control, and Set Yourself Free (Be Confident and Fearless Book 6) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking
00:07:47.640 Drawing The Line
00:13:00.440 Types Of Boundaries
00:21:53.960 Are You In Need?
00:28:09.515 Your Relationship With Boundaries
00:33:02.040 The Conditional Statement
00:38:01.480 An Important Definition
00:58:21.120 Self Assessing
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CV1V7HL
How to Establish Boundaries: Protect Yourself, Become Assertive, Take Back Control, and Set Yourself Free (Be Confident and Fearless Book 3) Kindle Edition
by Patrick King (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
Establishing Boundaries: How to Protect Yourself, Become Assertive, Take Back Control, and Set Yourself Free (Be Confident and Fearless Book 6) By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking
00:07:47.640 Drawing The Line
00:13:00.440 Types Of Boundaries
00:21:53.960 Are You In Need?
00:28:09.515 Your Relationship With Boundaries
00:33:02.040 The Conditional Statement
00:38:01.480 An Important Definition
00:58:21.120 Self Assessing
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CV1V7HL
How to Establish Boundaries: Protect Yourself, Become Assertive, Take Back Control, and Set Yourself Free (Be Confident and Fearless Book 3) Kindle Edition
by Patrick King (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
Unlock the Secret to Better Relationships! People skills aren't just about what you say – they begin with how you think about others.
00:00:00 Improve your people skills
00:03:20 Members of the Belief Police
00:12:35 For instance, take the story of Clever Hans
00:17:02 Hanlon’s Razor
In this video, we explore the power of:
Hanlon's Razor: Why assuming good intentions strengthens connections.
Curiosity Factor: How genuine interest unlocks fascinating conversations.
Walking a Mile in Their Shoes: The power of empathy for understanding others.
Discover how these simple mindset shifts can transform your interactions and build meaningful relationships.
Ready to become a people magnet? Watch Now!
How to Listen, Hear, and Validate: Break Through Invisible Barriers and Transform Your Relationships (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 11) By Patrick King
00:00:00 How to listen, hear, and validate
00:10:37 Why Validation Is So Important
00:16:53 Isn’t Validation The Same As Empathy?
00:19:57 Validation—One Of The Clearest Ways To Express Care
00:25:52 Validating The Right Way And In The Right Moment
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08WLBD418
Cultivate deep connections wherever you go. Prevent 100% of conflict, misunderstanding, and loneliness.
Healthy relationships involve our feelings being heard, understood, and validated. Unfortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule. Are you doing it wrong, and alienating people versus comforting them? Find out how to walk this fine line.
Uncover the biggest obstacle to the intimate, healthy relationships that we desire and deserve.
How to Listen, Hear, and Validate is all about our top communication struggle - our tendency to react instead of respond, and forget that our goal is to build bridges rather than walls. You’ll learn what you’ve been doing wrong, and why your efforts at getting closer to people - in deep or light manners - have failed. You’ll learn actionable techniques and frameworks to have the most productive conversations of your life - ones that will walk away with people praising how empathetic you are. Most importantly, you will gain profound insights on how to reprogram yourself into a natural communicator.
No more unresolved issues, struggles to get close, or failures from ineffective communication.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. His struggles in his early relationships has inspired him to unravel practical ways to cultivate meaningful, reciprocative interactions.
Establish vulnerable, fulfilling and satisfying relationships.
•The big mistakes when we ‘listen’ to others•How to structure a style for effective validation and empathy•Scripts to validate others, to know exactly what to say•Simple tactics to make others feel loved and seen•How to use empathetic communication and active listening techniques
Did you know? Most communication problems come from a lack of validation.
Are we truly paying attention to the messages others are conveying, or are we just waiting for our turn to speak? Are we listening to reply, or listening to hear? After applying the proven techniques from this book, you’ll be able to increase love, respect and satisfaction to your relationship. You’ll become the person everyone wants in their life.
Connect deeper and better. Raise the standard for your relationships.
A #Aggressive #All #Are #ASo #AWell #AYeah #B #BNo #BOh #Brisini #ExpressCare #Narcissist #TianSolomon #Validate #Validating #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoListen #Hear #andValidate #ValidationAsACommunicationSkill
Do you wish you were the life of the party, someone who effortlessly commands attention and connects with others?
00:00:00 Massive Charisma
00:02:40 A Practical Definition
00:05:47 Being More Influential
00:16:39 Being More Affable
00:28:14 Emotional Expressiveness
00:33:50 Emotional Control
00:36:10 Social Expressiveness
00:38:34 Social Sensitivity
00:41:51 Social Control
Charisma might seem like a magical gift, but it's actually a set of learnable skills! This video dives deep into the psychology of charisma, breaking it down into practical steps you can take to become more charming and influential. Learn how to project confidence, have captivating conversations, and leave a lasting impression. Discover the 3 key elements of charisma according to Dr. Ronald Riggio, and practical tips for improving your expressiveness, emotional intelligence, and social awareness. Plus, uncover the surprising benefits of acting and improv for boosting your social skills! Watch now and unlock your inner charm!
00:00:00 Better Small Talk
00:02:15 A Life of Stories
00:09:34 The 1 -1 -1 Method
00:16:04 The Story Spine
00:25:32 Inside Stories
Struggling with awkward small talk? Discover how to turn those fleeting interactions into meaningful connections with actionable tips from Patrick King's "Better Small Talk." This video dives into the book's key points, including:
- The power of storytelling to build rapport and create lasting memories.
- The 1-1-1 method to effortlessly transition from small talk to deeper conversations.
- The Story Spine framework for crafting captivating narratives that engage others.
- And much more!
Learn how to navigate social situations with confidence, leave a lasting impression, and build stronger relationships through the art of better small talk.
Feeling awkward in conversations? Don't worry, charm isn't about you - it's about making others feel heard!
00:00:00 Hello listeners
00:01:28 Talk WITH people and not TO them
00:17:18 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful Acronyms
This video dives into Chapter 2 of "Tools of the Charming" and unveils powerful techniques to keep conversations flowing and engaging.
Discover the "Rule of Three" that prevents you from rambling, and learn the magic of "Conversational Threading" to effortlessly navigate discussions. ✨
You'll learn:
The secret to charm: It's not about you! (Spoiler: It's all about making them feel good!)
The "Rule of Three": Stop information overload and keep conversations interesting.
Conversational Threading: Never run out of things to say!
Why content is secondary to emotional connection.
Become a master conversationalist today!
P.S. Being open-minded, spontaneous, and genuine are key to everyday conversational success!
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• “Cooperative overlapping” is different from interrupting. It’s about talking along with the speaker, not to undermine or cut them off, but to validate what they’re saying, give encouragement, and show that they’re paying close attention. It can vary across cultures; neither way is right, but try to acknowledge and accommodate differences.
00:00:00 Hello listeners
00:04:29 Try to be alert of the different kinds of interrupting/overlapping
00:08:49 Mastering Turn-Taking
00:13:08 When They’re the Conversational Narcissist
00:21:27 Summary
• Turn-taking rules can be complex and culture-bound, but a big part of learning to be charming, likeable, and a good communicator is to constantly be appraising the situation and adapting and adjusting yourself accordingly.
• When dealing with a conversational narcissist, don’t try to rescue the conversation by being more attentive, understanding, and charming yourself, or you’ll be taken advantage of. Instead use the gray rock technique and be aloof and unresponsive until they lose interest, and minimize contact as much as possible. Tighten up boundaries.
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• People generally talk about things for a specific reason. If you can hear between the lines and find out what that reason is, you can have deeper conversations with others that are enjoyable for both of you.
• Doing this isn’t especially hard; all you need to do is pay attention to what is being said. People organically bring up topics they are interested in, and their body language will very obviously indicate excitement or happiness while talking about that subject. With practice, you’ll be able to spot these telltale signs better and use them to have more fun and engaging conversations.
• When someone is telling you something, try to determine what emotion is being conveyed. People are generally looking for some specific emotional reaction from you when they say something. It could be anger, a smile, amazement, curiosity, or something else. If you can figure out what emotion they’re trying to convey and what they’re expecting in return, you’ll make the other person feel understood and appreciated.
Remember that conversations aren’t all about you. It’s an activity that involves mutual sharing and listening. Reacting to the other person’s emotions appropriately shows that you’re paying attention and actually care about what they’re saying. This is why you should react to everything. don’t ignore or let comments or nonverbal gestures just pass with no response.
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:00:00 Hello listeners. Welcome to Social Skills Coaching.
00:01:00.070 Match and Mirror Internal Communication Cues
00:05:23.610 Match on Content
00:10:46.720 Expressing Without Speaking
00:16:22.630 Posture and Body Orientation
00:20:28.560 Eye Contact
00:24:38.790 Paralinguistics
00:26:09.440 The Four Ps of Voice
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
Feeling lost in conversation? This video is your one-stop guide to mastering the fundamentals of communication! We'll break down Chapter 1 of [Book Title] by [Author Name], diving deep into:
Identifying Your Communication Style: Discover your strengths and weaknesses as a communicator.
Psychological Barriers: Learn how to overcome common hurdles that block effective communication.
The Rapport Game: Unlock the secrets of building trust and connection with anyone.
Expressing Without Speaking: The power of nonverbal communication - understand body language and paralinguistics.
Summary Guide: Recap the key takeaways from Chapter 1 for easy reference.
Bonus: We'll provide actionable tips to help you immediately improve your communication skills!
Ready to become a communication master? Watch now!
Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/2Q5CWQM
00:00:00 Initial Impressions
00:10:41 Make the First Move
00:16:50 Find Similarity
00:27:35 Manufacture Connection
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871N22LF
Networking events suck, but they can suck less. What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.
Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation. From hello to goodbye, with strangers or old friends, you'll learn how to simply go deeper.
NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people’s attention.
Better Small Talk is a unique read. Imagine the following situation: you've just put on your name tag, and you're approached by a stranger. What do you say? Nice weather today. No, we can do better than this. Learn better small talk to avoid awkwardness, put people at ease, and build real rapport.
Learn to open people up without them even realizing it.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you.
You'll learn exact dialogues, responses, phrases, and questions to use.
•How to tell captivating stories and what to actually focus on. •Four ways to warm yourself up and prepare for even the most unpredictable conversations. •Instantly setting a tone of friendship and openness with strangers. •Common and subtle conversational habits you need to stop right now
Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.
Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You’ll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactic
EllenNaylor #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BetterSmallTalk #InitialImpressions #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:02:55 Are You a Conversational Narcissist?
00:11:01 The Power of the Support Response
00:17:03 ALBRECHT’S RULE OF THREE FOR CONVERSATIONS
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• The biggest threat to connecting well with others is conversational narcissism—i.e., the tendency of centering ourselves, talking too much, steering the topic, interrupting, invalidating others, bragging, manipulating, or acting superior to others. Everyone has the potential to be narcissistic in conversation at times.
• A shift response is an attempt to bring the focus and attention of a conversation back to yourself. A support response maintains that focus and attention on the other person. A great way to reduce conversational narcissism is to use fewer shift responses and more support responses. When used well, support responses lead to better, more fulfilling conversations for everyone.
• Dr. Karl Albrecht says that all conversations can be broken down into three fundamental components: declaratives, questions, and conditionals. His rule of three is to never make three declarative statements in a row without a question or conditional statement.
• Declarations can be presented as statements of fact whether they are or aren’t, and can shut down conversations or act as shift responses. Conditionals are modified, weaker forms of declarations that acknowledge their own subjectivity.
Keywords #Make #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #WhenEgoGetsInTheWayPatrickKing
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• This chapter is about how to steer conversations to different topics without making things seem restrictive. One critical aspect of talking to people is ability to transition between topics seamlessly. Many people struggle with this because they often want to discuss specific things and end up making the conversation rigid.
• The key rule to be remembered here is the “yes, and” rule. Whenever someone states a proposition, your response should be to agree to it, and contribute a line that will keep the conversation going. Simply agreeing isn’t enough, since it brings the conversation to a dead end. Disagreeing is even worse, because it might make you come across as combative and unsympathetic.
• Don’t be afraid to enter into conversational topics that you don’t know much about. You might just end up learning something new, and you’ll see that your fears about coming across as dumb are unfounded. If you keep conversations open-ended, people will naturally want to talk to you because they will feel like they can share anything with you.
• A more negative version of the “yes, and” rule is the “yes, but” rule. It’s similar, but the latter immediately makes the other person think of you as argumentative. This is because, unlike the “yes, and” rule, it doesn’t help the conversation flow.
improveyourconversationskills #communicationskills #socialskillstips #charismatips #likabilitytips #"Yes #AND..."technique #conversationflow #activelistening #overcomingconversationanxiety #improv #communication #socialskills #charisma #likability #conversation #activelistening #socialanxiety #self-improvement #personaldevelopment #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ImproveYourConversations #AlwaysSay“Yes #AND…” #PatrickKing
The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem,
and Comfort In Your Own Skin (Be Confident and Fearless Book 8) By:
Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ConfidenceFormulaKing
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0994VF5XH
00:16:21 Low Confidence Characteristics
00:22:05 Am I Unconfident—or Do I Have Anxiety?
00:24:09 The Spotlight Effect
00:30:53 Feelings Versus Automatic Thoughts
00:41:15 Your Confidence Resume
Stop making decisions based on fear of failure, rejection, anxiety, and
judgment.
Life is full of possibilities, but can you take advantage of them? Gain
the confidence to be all that you can be.
Not just “fake it ‘til you make it” or “just smile more.”
The Confidence Formula is filled with real, actionable advice for your
life TODAY. It’s not generic, borderline useless advice you can read in
any blog post online. This book will take you on a deep dive into the
depth of confidence, self-perception, and the psychology of confidence –
understand yourself so you can break through your mental barriers.
Everything from psychology, biology, and even cognitive behavioral
therapy is referenced in giving you the tools to feel more invincible on
a daily basis.
Finally feel comfortable in your own skin and become your own source of
confidence.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after
social skills coach and trainer. He was also one of the plumpest
children you’ve ever seen, and understands the pains and processes of
confidence like few others. This book was written by someone who knows
exactly what you’re facing and how you’re hurting.
Become bolder, more fearless, and good enough. Stop thinking about the
“what ifs” in your life.
Confidence will turn your life into a series of endless opportunities.
Your goals, your social circle, your relationships, your career, and
your life – confidence is the key. Confidence creates the life you want
and lets you smash through goals, while making sure you never feel
invisible, waste your potential, or feel paralyzed from anxiety.
Quiet the voice in your head and live how you want to. Stop feeling so
restricted.
Amygdala #Confidence #ConfidenceFormula #ConfidenceResume #FeelingsVersusAutomaticThoughts #Gilovich #SpotlightEffect #ThomasGilovich #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheConfidenceFormula #TheRippleEffectOfConfidence
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:03:17.360 Constantly Interrupting
00:05:38.100 Using Qualifiers
00:06:53.900 Equating Your Experiences
00:08:02.139 Floundering
00:09:13.940 Waiting Instead of Listening
00:13:42.170 The Rapport Game
00:15:09.470 Mirroring and Matching
00:18:48.220 Way 1: Match and Mirror External Communication Cues
00:21:06.070 Way 2: Match and Mirror Voice and Language
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
ConversationSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #OtherBadCommunicationHabitsToAvoid
Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King
00:14:25.120 A Childlike Exercise
00:22:30.760 Your Conversation Résumé
00:29:56.769 Conversational Stages
00:39:29.950 Initial Impressions
00:49:59.349 Make the First Move
00:56:07.650 Find Similarity
01:06:53.740 Manufacture Connection
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/2Q5CWQM
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871N22LF
Networking events suck, but they can suck less. What to say and when to say to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression.
Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation. From hello to goodbye, with strangers or old friends, you'll learn how to simply go deeper.
NO MORE: interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people’s attention.
Better Small Talk is a unique read. Imagine the following situation: you've just put on your name tag, and you're approached by a stranger. What do you say? Nice weather today. No, we can do better than this. Learn better small talk to avoid awkwardness, put people at ease, and build real rapport.
Learn to open people up without them even realizing it.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you.
You'll learn exact dialogues, responses, phrases, and questions to use.
•How to tell captivating stories and what to actually focus on. •Four ways to warm yourself up and prepare for even the most unpredictable conversations. •Instantly setting a tone of friendship and openness with strangers. •Common and subtle conversational habits you need to stop right now
Become someone who is magnetic and who can make new friends in any situation.
Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You’ll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactic
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:10:46 Four Easy Self-Disclosure Rules.
00:14:38 Mini Self-Disclosures.
00:17:30 How to Respond to Someone Else’s Disclosure.
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• Vulnerability is essential for human connection, and appropriate self-disclosure creates trust, authenticity, and intimacy. Self-disclosure is intentionally sharing personal information that other people wouldn’t know unless we chose to tell them. The most effective kind of self-disclosure is the one that only slightly pushes the current state of affairs toward more intimacy.
• Friendship-making is an upward spiral of mutual and incremental disclosures over time. Keep things symmetrical, gradual, positive, and small at first.
BanterLand #Chunking #Derlega #Disclosure #Selfdisclosure #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm:PrinciplesOfSelf-Disclosure
The Science of Likability: 60 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction By Patrick King
.00:02:19 Context-Dependent Memories.
00:10:07 The Power of Association.
00:15:36 Shut Up and Let ’Em Talk!
00:26:10 Equity Within Relationships.
00:32:04 Similarity Breeds Liking.
00:38:05 This is known as the chameleon effect
00:40:09 Three Stages of Friendship
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/likability-promo
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VCRTJ59
100% scientifically-proven ways to make friends quickly, turn enemies into friends, gain trust, and be flat-out likable.
Utilize the most interesting, shocking, and counterintuitive findings in psychological science to simply make people want to be around you.The Science of Likability takes over 60 seminal scientific and psychological studies and breaks them down into real, usable guidelines and tips to create the presence you have always wanted. Every piece of advice in this book to increase your social standing and likability factor is 100% backed by in-depth, peer-reviewed research, and it goes far beyond simple common sense and intuition.
Learn how to subconsciously make yourself likable, trustworthy, and intelligent.
You can get a new haircut and wardrobe, and you even learn knock-knock jokes. But likability is something more. It's subconscious, and it's about the small signs that signal our brains to let their guards down, seek others out, and embrace them. We know what to do if we want to make someone hate us - we now also know what to do to become someone's favorite person.
Understand what makes people tick, and strategically give it to them.
There are seminal studies from (in)famous researchers such as Sigmund Freud, Ivan Pavlov, Stanley Schachter, and Daniel Goleman, but also the most up-to-date discoveries from 2019 - all insightful, analytical, sometimes surprising, but most importantly effective and actionable. Pair that with the insight and human intelligence factor of bestselling author and social skills coach Patrick King, and you have a guide that can be read equally for education as for helpful, real advice. Patrick's writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. Discover:- How to take advantage of people's memories for your sense of charm.- The power of equity in relationships and friendships.- A literal formula for "friendship chemistry."- The real way to use eye contact to build trust.- Why tripping and being vulnerable in front of people is positive.- Universal definitions of charisma, wit, and humor - seriously. Universal.
Being likable unlocks the doors to everything you want in life.
A better career? You better believe that the people with the most promotions and highest salaries aren't just the most qualified. Better love life? Being likable makes you a potential love interest to anyone you want. Better relationships and friendships? Not only that, but you open the door to people wanting to be friends with you. Likability is the hidden force that makes people appear to be lucky in life and receive more opportunities than they know what to do with. Likability drives us forward, not intelligence or luck.
Ultimately, this is a social skills and charisma book to drastically change your presence. Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page.
This is the first book in the “The Psychology of Social Dynamics” series as listed below:1.The Science of Likability: 60 Evidence-Based Methods to Radiate Charisma, Make a Powerful Impression, Win Friends, and Trigger Attraction [2019 Edition]2.Think Like a Psychologist: How to Analyze Emotions, Read Body Language and Behavior, Understand Motivations, and Decipher Intentions3.The Science of Social Intelligence: 33 Studies to Win Friends, Be Magnetic, Make An Impression, and Use People’s Subconscious Triggers4.The Science of Engineering Attraction & Love: Flirt, Date, and Mate Using Human Psychology5.Introvert Survival Tactics: How to Make Friends, Be More Social, and Be Comfortable In Any Situation (When You’re People’d Out and Just Want to Go Home And Watch TV Alone)6.Control Your Emotions: Gain Balance, Resilience, and Calm; Find Freedom from Stress, Anxiety, and Negativity
Baddeley #Bargh #BernardMurstein #Berscheid #Byrne #ChameleonEffect #Chartrand #ContextDependentMemory #DaleCarnegie #DianaTamir #DonnByrne #EichMacauley #Godden #InterpersonalAttraction #IntrinsicallyRewarding #JasonMitchell #JohnSaneDo #JohnSkowronski #Walster #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofLikability #HowToMakePeopleDesireYourPresence
Hear it Here - http://bit.ly/improvking
00:02:51 Conversation Equals Improv
00:09:03 Emotional Intelligence
00:12:19 Play
00:19:53 Takeaways
Does your mind blank in conversation and create awkward silence? Do you run out of things to say and struggle to keep dialogue flowing?
(A) Conversation isn’t scripted, (B) it’s 100% unpredictable, and (C) it can be terrifying at times. How do you prepare for such a thing? By learning how to apply improv comedy techniques to roll with any punch and improve your conversations and social interactions.
Become quicker and more clever in daily conversation.
Improv(e) Your Conversations teaches the ingenious rules of improv comedy that allow performers to turn boring prompts into memorable interactions worthy of standing ovations. This means there are real frameworks and templates to escape interview mode small talk – and start connecting and building rapport from the moment you say “Hello.” This book goes through over 15 of the most helpful and insightful improv comedy techniques with countless real-life examples to make you a great talker.
Learn the conversational secrets of the world’s best comedians.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Over 15 actionable tips that are actually practical and relateable.
•The three easy ways to always know what to say, even when your mind goes blank.
•What Sherlock Holmes has to do with great rapport.
•How to read people better and what to look for.
•The one goal you must always keep in mind (that you probably don’t even know).
Adapt, witty comeback, reply, and charm in record time.
•What causes awkward silences and how to prevent them.
•How your conversation should resemble a movie.
•How to “flip the switch” to be more entertaining.
Conversation skills are the gatekeeper to the rest of your life.
Improving your conversations gives you the ability to turn a random encounter into a flowing conversation, into a lasting friendship. Fewer acquaintances and more friends, less small talk and more true substance.
•Better networking, better career placement, better job interviews.
•New friendships, improved relationships, and being more attractive to the opposite sex.
•Instant likability and great first impressions."
https://www.audible.com/pd/B08TK96H1S/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-235620&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_235620_pd_us
Charismatic #Conversation #ImprovComedyTechniques #WittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Charismatic,Conversation,Improv Comedy Techniques,Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Conversation Skills Training: How to Build Relationships, Navigate Any Situation, and Talk to Anyone By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3U8eoc5
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNPHL9PC
You are missing out on so many relationships in your life.
Communication is the bedrock of our relationships. But we often don’t know how to express ourselves, or truly hear others. Make sure that you are not letting amazing people pass you by.
Increase your social and emotional awareness.
Conversations Skills Training is truly about arming you with the tools you need for effective expression, listening, and relationships. Communication is the primary contributor to the relationships we attract in our lives, and this book takes you through almost every aspect of successful connection.
Imagine being able to walk into a room and make friends with strangers, avoid conflict, and have a charismatic presence. It’s not so tough, it just needs purposeful practice. This book will be your best field guide to knowing how to deal with people, their emotions, and your own emotions.
Get ahead in your career – because conversations skills gets promotions, not technical skills.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life experience.
The keys to preventing and dealing with conflict or other uncomfortable situations.
Identify your communication style, and why it might be holding you back
Exactly how much eye contact to use for emotional connection
One acronym to substantially improve your conversations
How to “hear” people’s emotions and make people trust you
Defusing conflict and tough situations
How to say no and assert yourself to anyone
An ancient Greek persuasion technique that works in any situation
Read people like a book – their emotions, feelings, and thoughts!
AggressiveCommunicator #AngeloStrenta #AssertiveCommunicator #BadCommunicationHabits #BodyOrientation #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #Defensiveness #DrArthurAron #FillerWords #FourPs #JohnGrinder #KaraRonins #ManipulativeCommunicator #MichaelEllsberg #Microexpressions #Mirroring #NeuroLinguisticProgrammingNLP #Paralinguistics #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RichardBandler #RobertKleck #SocialInteraction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
00:08:18 Preconceived Attitudes
00:17:48 Judgment and Premature Evaluation.
•••••••••••
Conversation #ConversationSkillsTraining #Training #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #IdentifyYourCommunicationStyle
Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating By Patrick King
00:04:28 Follow the Ostrich’s Lead
00:09:41 The Premortem Analysis
00:15:56 The Don’t-Do List
00:31:04 Err on the Side of Action
00:32:19 Get a Little Uncomfortable
00:39:04 Tiny Steps
00:45:25 The 40-70 Rule
00:50:14 Beat Indecision
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/takerapidactionking
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082YZ95LV
Practical, psychological methods to turn your thoughts into reality, instead of endless avoidance and laziness.
Transform from struggling with getting off your butt, to a machine of productivity and self-discipline. Create an action bias in your life -- starting now.
How to break inertia, overthinking, paralysis, sloth, and insecurity.
Take Rapid Action deconstructs the psychology of laziness and why tomorrow always sounds like a better idea. This book is many things at once: a shot of motivation, a spark of fire, an understanding of your brain, and a list of techniques to get into motion. This is one of the most valuable skills you’ll ever gain, because only action matters in life, not good intentions.
Gain the ability to get things done and hit your goals, no matter the circumstances.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Stop saying “I’ll do it later/tomorrow…” and overhaul your mindset for productivity and efficiency.
•The Premortem Analysis and the Ostrich Theory -- how they can quiet your overthinking.•How comfortable inaction is sabotaging you.•Actionable and applicable rules to get started before you feel 100% ready.
How to create motion and take the first step from complete stillness.
•How to defeat procrastination by “bundling.”•Strategically plan your days to prevent laziness and distraction.•What you think is action, but is actually a waste of time
Become a machine of proactive energy and activity.
Action and results are the only things that matter in the world. Not your planning, intentions, or nice thoughts. This book puts action at the forefront of your brain and makes it nearly impossible to stay still. That’s precisely what will get you ahead in life. Taking that first step is always hard, but it doesn’t have to be.
The more action you take, the luckier you become. Take that first step by scrolling up and clicking the BUY NOW BUTTON at the top right of this page!
This is the sixth book in the “Clear Thinking and Fast Action” series as listed below:1. The Science of Getting Started: How to Beat Procrastination, Summon Productivity, and Stop Self-Sabotage2. The Art of Clear Thinking: Mental Models for Better Reasoning, Judgment, Analysis, and Learning. Upgrade Your Intellectual Toolkit.3. 10-Minute Philosophy: From Buddhism to Stoicism, Confucius and Aristotle - Bite-Sized Wisdom From Some of History’s Greatest Thinkers4. Practical Intelligence: How to Think Critically, Deconstruct Situations, Analyze Deeply, and Never Be Fooled5. Learn To Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher6. Take Rapid Action: Get Productive, Motivated, & Energized; Stop Overthinking & Procrastinating7. Relentless Focus: 27 Small Tweaks to Beat Procrastination, Skyrocket Productivity, Outsmart Distractions, & Do More in Less Time
DontDoList #DrRobertLeahy #GaryKlein #Leahy #OstrichTheory #Overthinking #Plutarch #PremortemAnalysis #TakeRapidAction #Uncertainty #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TakeRapidAction #StopOverthinking
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00:03:25 Why Stories Matter
00:05:23 Four Elements of a Good Story
00:09:28 Be Natural ... But Have a Plan
00:17:16 USING WITTY BANTER IN BUILDING RAPPORT
00:22:35 Technique 2: Use the Element of Surprise
00:24:03 Technique 3: Sarcasm
00:26:25 Technique 4: Being Self-Referential
00:28:15 Banter Warnings
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• Though the real foundations of a good conversation are humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness, it’s still worth learning how to tell engaging and entertaining stories. Storytelling is human, and anyone can be a good storyteller. But a story’s value is in how it’s perceived by the audience.
• The best stories have an attention-grabbing hook; they’re short, precise, and have a relevant emotional core. In conversation, a story is meant to create connection and rapport, not showcase you as interesting. Prepare somewhat by building a story “library” beforehand, then use natural transition phrases such as “You know, that reminds me of . . .”to introduce the story. Remember that telling a story is still a kind of conversation.
• Witty banter is playful, clever, amusing conversation that speeds up rapport and builds closeness very rapidly. Anyone can learn to banter as long as they follow the rules: start small and build, banter WITH someone, not AT them, and a little goes a long way.
• Self-deprecating or self-referential humor helps you drop your ego and shows strength and maturity, putting people at ease. Be brief and very obviously exaggerate something you’re actually comfortable with. Be unexpected and use the element of surprise to grab attention and create spark and spontaneity. Flaunt conversational norms with playful sarcasm. The focus is always on building rapport, not on entertaining or impressing people.
AndyRichter #Banter #Sarcasm #ScottYoung #SelfDeprecatingHumor #Selfdeprecation #Selfreferential #WITTYBANTERINBUILDINGRAPPORT #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TurningOnTheCharm
How To Say No: Stand Your Ground, Assert Yourself, and Make Yourself Be Seen (Without Guilt or Awkwardness) (Be Confident and Fearless Book 7)
By: Patrick King
00:02:05 Why Saying No is So Essential
00:10:26 Why We Struggle to Say No
00:20:53 The Psychological Root of Never Saying No: Codependency
00:36:51 Getting Rid of Counter-Mindsets
00:44:54 Change Strategies for Counter-Mindsets
00:46:19 Rewriting the Script that Saying No Makes You a Bad Person
00:55:31 Rewriting the Script that Saying No Means You Don’t Care
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3vU090q
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0918PNTZV
Finally get what you deserve and stop “letting it slide” - without guilt, fear, or awkward tension.Saying no - just thinking about it sounds awkward, right? But that’s the barrier between you living your own life, and living for others. Get what you want, starting immediately.Stop sacrificing your own needs. Quit the agreeableness and accommodation habit.How to Say No examines the psychology of those unable to stand up for themselves. It’s not as simple as wanting to avoid awkwardness, and it’s not about the correct sequence of words. You’l dive deep and learn about your beliefs that are holding you back, as well as how to conquer them in short time.Saying no is the most liberating thing you can do for yourself, and this book tells you how to get there from inside to out.Swift tactics to gain respect, set boundaries, and ask for what you really want.Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.How to decisively say NO and stop being taken advantage of.•The counter mindsets you must change, and the mindsets you must replace them with•A multitude of categories for how to asset yourself•The easiest and least tense ways to simply say NO•An examination of your beliefs surrounding acceptance, love, and self-worth•Boundaries and how to ruthlessly enforce themStop putting others first and start treating yourself better.Who are you living your life for? Do you feel like you are exhausted by the time you can finally pay attention to your own needs?Do you finally wish that you could free yourself from self-imposed burdens and put yourself first? Learning how to say no and assert yourself is the most amazing tool that no one ever taught us. Start changing your life today.
Burnout #Codependency #Codependent #Countermindsets #FOMO #Overcommitting #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #HowToSayNo #TheImportanceOfSayingNo #PatrickKing
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
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00:01:53 Dr. David Rock created the SCARF model
00:05:34 Assertive Communication
00:09:17 What Makes Assertive Communicators Different
00:10:45 Ten Essential Assertive Communication Habits
00:22:06 Bonus: The Broken Record Technique
00:23:47 Give and Take: The Art of Feedback
00:27:02 The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model
00:30:50 The Best Way to Receive Feedback
• Regulate your own emotions by being aware of the underlying needs they express: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.
• Be assertive and communicate your needs, limits, and perspective with clarity and kindness. Be clear, calm, firm, open, in control, and respectful. Decide on the type of assertion that best fits your needs: basic, empathic, consequence, discrepancy, or negative feelings assertion.
• When it comes to giving or receiving feedback, remember that it is about behaviors and actions and not about people. Be kind, but also don’t take things too personally.
Assertive #AssertiveCommunication #BrokenRecordTechnique #DrDavidRock #Effective #EmotionalIntelligence #Feedback #SBI #SCARF #ThomasKilmann #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #RegulatingYourOwnEmotions
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:02:20 Identify Your Communication Style
00:04:20 The Passive Communicator
00:07:57 The Aggressive Communicator
00:11:15 The Passive-Aggressive Communicator
00:19:19 The Assertive Communicator
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• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself.
• Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however.
• The way you communicate is a choice. Assertive communication is the ability to express needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings directly without disrespecting or controlling others. Mature conversationalists are self-controlled, balanced, relaxed, open, and respectful.
• Communicating well is simple and easy, but we need to remove the formidable psychological barriers that stand in the way. With awareness, we can remove them and improve our communication skills.
AggressiveCommunicator #AssertiveCommunicator #CommunicationStyle #ConversationSkillsTraining #ManipulativeCommunicator #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ConversationSkillsTraining #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:02:46 Psychologist Shelly Gable coined the term “active and constructive responding”
00:12:42 A truly active and constructive response
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• Your response to someone’s good news can vary, being passive or active, constructive or destructive. Aim for active, constructive responses that acknowledge and reflect the emotion and energy in a speaker’s message.
• Give compliments—but keep them rare, sincere, specific, and appropriate.
• Avoid giving advice. Problem-solving is best achieved by helping people discover what they themselves think, rather than telling them.
Compliment #Constructive #Destructive #Gable #PerfectCompliment #Problemsolving #PsychologistShellyGable #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ACTIVEANDCONSTRUCTIVERESPONDING
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00:01:18 In an article published in the Journal of Managerial Sciences in 2009
00:01:48 The Different Types of Conflict
00:02:02 Not all conflict is the same—take a look at some variants: Affective Conflict
00:02:23 Substantive Conflict
00:02:45 Conflict of Interest
00:03:02 Retributive Conflict
00:03:19 Conflict in Values
00:03:33 Goal Conflict
00:03:39 Displaced Conflict
00:04:29 The Thomas Kilmann Model
00:05:34 1. Competing
00:06:22 2. Avoiding
00:07:17 3. Accommodating
00:08:01 4. Collaboration
00:08:48 5. Compromising
00:09:36 VOMP
00:09:58 Ventilation
00:10:48 Ownership
00:11:53 Moccasins
00:12:20 Plan
00:14:24 Uh Oh—We Talked and There’s Still Conflict
00:15:21 How to Master High-Stakes Discussions and Stabilize Intense Emotions
00:19:17 How to Navigate a Crucial Conversation
• Conflict is inevitable whenever people differ, but it can be managed with grace and tact. Try to understand the type of conflict: affective, substantive, conflict of interest, retributive, conflict in values, goal conflict, or displaced conflict from somewhere else.
• According to the Thomas Kilmann model, people come into conflict simply because they have different ideas, values, motivations, or wants. There are five conflict-resolution strategies according to degree of empathy and assertiveness: competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Each has pros and cons and is best used in specific circumstances. Compromising (medium assertiveness and medium empathy) is usually a good bet all around.
Affective #Collaboration #Compromising #Conflict #CrosbyKerrMinnoConsulting #DisplacedConflict #Emotion #Empathy #GoalConflict #Kilmann #ProfessorAbdulGhaffar #QurtubaUniversity #RalphKilmann #RetributiveConflict #ThomasKilmann #Ventilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #WhenItAllGoesWrong:EffectiveConflictResolutionPatrickKing
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:03:22 The Perfect Apology
00:04:41 A Mistake Can Be a Good Thing!
00:07:37 1. Express your genuine regret
00:09:50 2. Explain what happened
00:11:20 3. Take responsibility
00:12:24 4. Repent!
00:13:58 5. Offer to make amends
00:15:14 6. Ask for forgiveness
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• Conflict will happen, but what matters is how people respond to their mistakes. A perfect apology can actually strengthen a relationship if it consists of these six parts: expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong (without excuses or blame), taking responsibility, repentance, offering reparations, and a request for forgiveness, in order of importance.
• Good apologies are sincere and match the severity of the offense. Apologize quickly and remember that you are never owed an apology.
Apologize #EQ #Lewicki #PerfectApology #Repent #Repentance #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #Needs #Limits #Requests #Refusals...It’SAConstantNegotiation
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:01:48 Karen Huang and colleagues
00:05:35 Chunking Up and Down
00:18:15 When to Chunk Up
00:19:13 When to Chunk Down
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• Research suggests that talking about yourself makes you a little less likeable, while asking questions makes you a little more likeable. Open-ended and follow-up questions especially showed the greatest relationship to likability. People like those they believe are genuinely hearing them, seeing them, and reacting to them.
• Questions that chunk up or down allow you to vary the degree of detail at which you present or request information. Both approaches have their uses, but it’s about balance, variety, and aligning with the other person. Become curious about where a current conversation is and whether it might need more chunking up or chunking down.
Chartrand #Chunking #ChunkingUp #GeorgeAMiller #KarenHuang #Lacan #Lacanian #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #Question-Asking
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:00:48 Judi Brownell from Cornell University
00:01:07 Here are the components of Brownell’s model: H: Hearing
00:03:01 U: Understanding
00:05:01 R: Remembering
00:06:48 I: Interpreting
00:08:33 E: Evaluating
00:10:57 R: Responding
00:15:29 Don’t Be a Conversational Narcissist!
00:17:52 Reframe the Way You Understand the Purpose of Conversation
00:18:52 Don’t Jump Ahead
00:20:04 Avoid Advice
00:21:12 Stop Centering Yourself
00:23:06 Watch Out for Passive Conversational Narcissism, too
00:23:56 What If They’re the Conversational Narcissist?
00:26:37 The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order.
00:26:53 Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn.
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3N9lsjI
• Good listening is a collection of different skills: hearing, understanding, interpreting, and responding. The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order. Remember that listening is active and includes both verbal and nonverbal material.
• Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn. Reframe the way you understand the purpose of conversation and understand that it’s not about you or your ego. Avoid giving advice, interrupting (or thinking about what you want to say), or centering yourself in the dialogue. Similarly, don’t be afraid to disengage when you encounter a conversational narcissist.
AvoidAdvice #Brownell #CharlesDerber #ConversationalNarcissist #CornellUniversity #Derber #DontJumpAhead #HURIER #Narcissist #PassiveConversationalNarcissism #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #TheHURIERMethod
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:01:43 How to Create Healthy Boundaries
00:03:29 How to Set Boundaries
00:14:24 Use DEARMAN for Polite Requests and Refusals
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• Human beings are complex, and not all problems and conflicts can be solved by simply heaping on more and more empathy and understanding. Emotional intelligence means having boundaries that are not too permeable or too rigid.
• Take the time to understand who you are, what you want, and what is unacceptable to you, then take responsibility for communicating that message clearly and directly to others. Whatever type of boundary you are setting a limit for (time, money, emotional energy, etc.), make sure that you are willing to follow through, and not use boundaries to passively control or manipulate others.
• The DEARMAN acronym can help you make requests and refusals while staying polite. It stands for describe, express, assert, reinforce, mindfulness, appear confident, and negotiate. Emotionally mature and intelligent people take responsibility for how they navigate social spaces, and know that their needs and limits are always changing and under constant renegotiation. Real life is messy sometimes; be flexible and open to accommodation.
AppearConfident #Ask #Assert #Asserting #Boundary #Communicate #Confident #Conversational #DBT #DEARMAN #Decide #EmotionWheel #EQ #HealthyBoundaries #Mindfulness #Negotiate #Relationship #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #OwnYourLimitsWithHealthyBoundaries
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00:00:34 Part one of the Friendship Mindset is the Art of Active Listening.
00:06:12 Pay Close Attention
00:09:17 Be Mindful of the Little Things
00:10:52 Help People Think Out Loud
00:16:03 Restate
00:17:16 Summarize
00:18:10 Reframe
• Give the gift of solid, respectful attention at all times. Listen generously, as though you are prepared to hear the value, the sense, and the meaning in everything you hear. Don’t let your desire to seem like a good listener get in the way of actually being one. Let people know you are listening with small verbal and nonverbal gestures.
• Try not to let your own perspective impair your ability to understand somebody else’s. Start from a position of ignorance and work your way up to real understanding, rather than making assumptions about what other people’s experiences mean.
• To be a good listener, practice restating what you are told, paraphrase that content in your own words, summarize what you’re hearing in a useful way (or else condense things by labeling the core emotion), then potentially reframe the story or gently suggest something new if this might help solve a problem or create an emotional resolution. Do this without assumptions, biases, or interpretations, but with a mind to truly understand the other person’s point of view.
BeMindful #Concentrate #GoodListener #Listening #Mindful #Paraphrase #PayCloseAttention #Reframe #Restate #Summarize #Paraphrase #Summarizing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #TheFriendshipMindset #THEARTOFACTIVELISTENING #PatrickKing
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:06:04 How to Use Funnel Questions
00:08:26 Here's a summary of How To Ask Funnel Questions
00:11:50 How You Structure a Question Matters
00:15:14 Rhetorical Questions
00:16:09 To conclude, here are a few Tips For Using Questions
00:17:03 How to Be a Truly Effective Listener
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• One of the easiest ways to connect with another person is to just ask questions. The right questions help you gather more and better-quality information, build stronger connections with others, inspire trust and liking, learn, and help other people learn, too.
• Closed questions (those that have very short or one-word answers) can be used to confirm your understanding, make conclusions or summaries, or set the tone and scope of a more formal or structured conversation. However, they can kill a conversation and make it feel interrogatory.
• Open questions (any possible answer) allow you to probe for depth and can keep a conversation lively and open-ended. Use both in the “funnel question” technique, which probes for information down a narrowing path of increasing detail, starting broad and progressively becoming more specific. Start with open questions, then drill down for more detail as you go, eventually reversing the funnel if necessary.
FunnelQuestions #Openended #Probing #Question #Rhetorical #EffectiveListener #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #Communication’sMostUnderratedSkill
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:02:26 Anatomy of a Good Question
00:04:10 A Good Quality Question Is Open-Ended.
00:06:11 High-Quality Questions Actively Follow Up.
00:08:23 High-Quality Questions Use Paraphrasing.
00:09:37 High-Quality Questions Are Balanced With Self-Revelation.
00:10:37 Questions You Should Never Ask
00:17:53 Chapter Summary
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• High-quality questions are targeted, focused on understanding and not judgment, open-ended, and tend to paraphrase and connect to what has already been said. Balance questions with your own self-revelation. Remember what people say and follow up with thoughtful questions that show that you’ve truly heard and processed the message.
• Certain questions should always be avoided: those concerning jobs, salaries, financial costs, choices around children, relationship status, weight, diet choices, or physical appearance.
HighQualityQuestions #SelfRevelation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q. #AnatomyOfAGoodQuestion
Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:08:57 How to Build Curiosity
00:13:49 Assume Nothing
00:16:40 Person, Not Story
00:19:15 You Go First
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• Maintain reciprocal curiosity and the mindset that you can always learn something new from others. Be fully present, open-minded, and receptive rather than approaching with bias, judgment, or distraction. Instead of trying to convince others how fascinating you are, find what is fascinating about others. Conversations are co-creations!
• Genuinely connect to others by listening deeply, focusing on the person and not their story, and never making judgments or assumptions. Listen to understand, not to respond; listen primarily for emotion, not just fact. One way you can show that you’re willing to really listen to people is self-disclosure.
Conflict #Conversation #Curiosity #Listen #ListenDeeply #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily #ReciprocalCuriosity
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00:02:31 How to Paint the Picture
00:02:59 To get a hang of using imagery in conversation, you need to master the use of three tools: 1. Concreteness 2. Simile 3. Metaphor Concreteness is about being embedded in the world, about being real.
00:08:02 Rhythm and How to Go with the Flow
00:09:28 Parallelism
00:11:42 Repetition
00:12:39 Think about Winston Churchill’s famous “we shall fight them on the beaches” speech
00:13:58 Alliteration and Assonance
00:15:33 How to Be a Masterful Storyteller
• If you want your listeners to really absorb what you say to them, paint them a mental picture. Do this by using vivid and concrete imagery, similes (using like or as), and metaphors to connect abstract ideas with more real-world ones. Use adjectives and interesting details and be a little unexpected.
• Language is musical by nature, and much of the meaning it conveys comes down to its rate, its articulation, its flow, and the way it moves through time. Pay attention to the rhythm and flow of your speech.
• In parallelism, we repeat certain structures to create an effect. Repetition drives our point home and makes it seem more true, as do alliteration (repetition of initial consonant sounds) and assonance (repetition of internal or vowel sounds).
• Human beings react not just to “information” but to narrative; to be a good storyteller, you need to go beyond sharing information and facts, and help your listeners form an emotional connection to what you’re saying. Good stories enlist the use of our voice, body language, gestures, facial expressions, and even visual aids.
• Make sure that your story illustrates supports or connects to your larger point or circumstance. Set the scene but don’t dawdle on unnecessary detail. Start with a bang and keep things at a moderate pace, being concise. Be relevant and interesting, and if you can, practice your story ahead of time!
Alliteration #Assonance #Brevity #ChipsChannon #Concreteness #Metaphor #Parallelism #Repetition #Rhythm #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoSpeakEffectively #MasteringStyleandTone
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00:02:26 The Emotions Wheel and Learning to Label
00:04:47 Different versions of the Emotion Wheel
00:07:39 1. Anger
00:08:46 6. Disgust
00:09:53 7. Fear
00:10:53 8. Happy
00:12:26 9. Sadness
00:13:37 10. Surprise
00:14:45 11. Bad
00:21:36 Step 1: Put a name to the emotion (the Emotion Wheel can help).
00:29:31 What Invalidation Looks Like
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• Becoming more emotionally intelligent requires understanding of what emotions are, how to read them, how to feel and label our own experiences, and how to validate them in the people around us. We need to develop empathy, social skills, self-awareness, and self-control.
• There are universal basic human emotions, but they express themselves in varying degree, variety, and intensity. A tool like the Emotion Wheel can help you build emotional literacy and pinpoint precise feelings and emotions. Primary emotions include anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, and just plain “bad.” If you become an expert at knowing exactly how you feel, however, you are never in the position of misunderstanding yourself and will be a more effective and coherent person as a result.
• The more emotionally literate we become with our own experiences, the better we can recognize them in others. Pay attention, listen, and then (tentatively) call out the emotion you think someone is experiencing. Verbalize the emotion by putting a name to it, and without judgment or interpretation, validate their experience. Remember that you’re not validating the factual content of what they’re saying, but the emotional content.
EmotionalValidation #EmotionWheel #EQ #Invalidation #DanielGoleman #Validate #Validating #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.
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00:01:54 Bestselling author and self-help guru Tim Ferriss
00:04:20 Be Very Aware of Personal Space
00:06:42 Stay Present
00:09:07 In a now famous 1977 interview Barbara Walters did with Dolly Parton
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• To create a reality distortion field, you will need to increase eye contact, be aware of your personal space, and stay present and open-minded in conversations. Charismatic, confident people are physically present, without being imposing or threatening, and their eye contact is natural. They do not let judgment, anxiety, or distraction undermine their presence in the moment. The key is to acknowledge people and make them feel important.
• The biggest impact you make on people does not come from what you say, but from how you are.
BarbaraWalters #BeVeryAware #BillClinton #Charismatic #DollyParton #EyeContact #Ferriss #PersonalSpace #Charismatic #StayPresent #TimFerriss #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily
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00:03:51 Get Comfortable with Pausing
00:09:20 The Dangers of “Hedging Language”
00:14:35 Upspeak and the Mystery of Tone
00:19:37 The Five Types of Communication Tone
00:20:55 Type 1: Informative
00:21:20 Type 2: Humorous
00:21:40 Type 3: Respectful
00:22:08 Type 4: Formal
00:22:28 Type 5: Informal
00:31:36 Transitioning to a New Point
00:32:34 Providing More Details on One Point
00:33:17 Linking Similar Points Together
CommunicationTone #Conversational #DrKamiAnderson #HedgingLanguage #JamesGorman #Signpost #Signposting #Summarizing #Upspeak #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EliminateCrutchWordsAndEmptyLanguage #PatrickKing #HowtoSpeakEffectively
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00:02:24 Similarly, so called Barnum statements, named after famed showman and Hoaxbuster P t.
00:05:56 Avoid Emotional Disconnectors and Word Trash
00:13:47 Elizabeth Stoke is a professor of social interaction at Lowborough University
00:16:13 Researchers at Amsterdam's Vu University
00:16:24 Lead researcher Camille Buickenboom
00:18:41 Jacob Hirsch and Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto
00:19:12 Social psychologist James W. Pennebaker and his colleagues
00:29:14 Summary
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• Use the principles of cold reading to create quick rapport and “read” nonverbal expressions to gain insight into their personalities. Observe, redirect their attention, collaborate with them, and gather information during back-and-forth conversation. Pay close attention to the details and make constantly updated predictions, maintaining warmth while you redirect from incorrect guesses.
• Finally, avoid emotional disconnect caused by “trash words” such as “just,” “honestly,” “amazing,” “slay it,” or “should.”
• Listen to how somebody speaks and uses language to gain insight into their mental models of the world. Notice the focus of their speech, their pronoun use, their positioning of subject and object, and how they explain neutral events. Always be curious about what this expression tells you about the person’s perspective, beliefs, worldview, and focus.
AvoidEmotionalDisconnectors #Barnum #Beukeboom #BigFive #CamielBeukeboom #ElizabethStokoe #EllenLeanse #EQ #HowWordChoiceRevealsCharacter #JacobHirsh #JamesWPennebaker #JordanPeterson #Kufner #LinguisticInquiry #LoughboroughUniversity #Nonverbal #Openmindedness #Pennebaker #PTBarnum #Shotgunning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.
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00:00:35 The Friendship Formula is a simple framework for building and maintaining strong friendships.
00:07:04 The Friendship Formula
00:09:13 Dr. Jack Schaefer, former FBI agent and author of The Like Switch, has a theory that might have the answer.
00:19:04 How to Use Schaefer's formula to Your Benefit
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• Dr. Jack Schafer’s “friendship formula” is as follows: Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Friendship will develop according to the sum of all these four elements. That means that one element can be relatively weak if another compensates by being extra strong.
• Building friendships is about fostering increasing closeness—i.e., proximity. Greater frequency also means a stronger chance of friendship developing. The more frequently you engage with someone, the more they feel like part of your world. Friendship takes time to build, so greater duration of time spent together means greater chance of friendship. Finally, it matters how well you’re able to satisfy another person’s needs during any social interaction. The more you can, the better the chance of striking up a friendship.
• When making friends, deliberately find ways to increase proximity and the duration, frequency, and intensity of your interactions with people, in that order. Go slow!
ACTION #CignaLonelinessReport #CityIndexSurvey #DrJackSchafer #DrSchafer #FRIENDSHIPFORMULA #LonelinessProject #Schafer #SchafersFormula #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MakeFriendsEasily
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00:01:10 In 1974, business professor Chris Argyris created a handy tool
00:06:22 How to Use the Ladder in Your Own Life
00:16:02 Consider the following speech made by Barack Obama at the 2004 Democratic National Convention
00:18:23 George Lakoff is an author and professor of cognitive science and linguistics.
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• Poor communication arises as a result of a mismatch of perspectives, approach, or conversational skill. People process information differently, but to avoid misunderstandings, communicate consciously and use the “ladder of inference.” It shows the unique way that people use their experiences to make meaning: observations > selected data > meanings > assumptions > conclusions > beliefs > actions.
• Conflict can occur when people are on different rungs. To improve communication, see where people are and how their ladder of inference is working for them, then speak to that, in sequence, and without blame or shame.
• Good communicators deliberately create their own frames during conversations and position their line of thinking by using specially chosen words, expressions, and images. Change frames and you change meaning.
• Deliberately engineer your conversational frame and invite the other person in using pre-existing concepts they’re familiar with to improve the chances they’ll be receptive. Remember that reality is fixed, but the meaning of reality is dynamic and subject to change.
ACTIONS #Argyris #ASSUMPTIONS #BELIEFS #Birkin #ChrisArgyris #CONCLUSIONS #GeorgeLakoff #Hermes #MEANING #POOLOFOBSERVATIONS #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialSkillsCoaching #PatrickKindConsulting #PatrickKing #HowToSpeakEffectively
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00:02:54 Author Nick Morgan describes in his book Power Cues
00:08:34 How to Master Nonverbal Communication
00:12:08 Body Language Basics
00:14:37 Look for Clusters of Behavior
00:15:26 Don’t Be Afraid to Trust Your Instincts
00:16:16 What to Look At
00:18:50 The Art of Cold Reading
00:19:50 Four Important Cold Reading Principles
00:21:36 Redirection
00:22:32 Collaboration
00:23:19 Conversation
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• Be mindful of your meta-language and make sure that your verbal and nonverbal signals are aligned. Nonverbal communication can repeat, substitute, complement, or accent our verbal communication. If it doesn’t, we risk sending mixed messages or lowering trust. Pay attention to messages sent using facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, use of space, and voice characteristics.
• To build mindful awareness of your nonverbal communication, try to eliminate in-the-moment stress (by breathing, pausing, and connecting with your five senses) and cultivate emotional awareness (including the ability to tolerate and accept emotions as they are).
• When reading body language, think holistically, dynamically, relatively, and in context. Don’t rely on single data points, but look for clusters of behavior, inconsistencies with context, and a shift from baseline.
AuthorNickMorgan #BodyLanguageBasics #Clusters #ColdReading #Collaboration #Communication #EQ #FourImportantColdReadingPrinciples #MasterNonverbalCommunication #Morgan #Observation #Posture #Redirection #Stress #Substitution #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.
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00:03:54 Use a Journal and Be Your Own Therapist
00:06:50 How to Use Affirmations
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• A journal is a powerful self-help tool that slows your thoughts, keeps track of your progress, and helps you uncover patterns as well as develop your values and goals. Use writing prompts to guide self-exploration without judgment.
• Recurrent themes will emerge over time, and these can be inverted to create your own affirmations. These become like useful shortcuts to guide and shape your journey to healthier boundaries, better communication, and stronger self-identity.
Affirmations #Journal #Journaling #Meditate #Peoplepleasing #Relationship #SetBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers
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• Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation, and being able to occupy their perceptual position/perspective. In NLP’s “perceptual positions” exercise, first position is your own point of view, second position is another person’s, and third position concerns the view of you both from a third, neutral observer perspective.
• By switching between these positions, you gain more insight, understanding, and empathy, and find solutions to problems. No position is best, but wisdom comes from being able to skillfully shift between all three.
• Perspective-taking is an act of social imagination where you temporarily set aside your own frame of reference and entertain another, possibly very different one. Self-awareness and awareness of others means we can develop theory of mind and a certain mental flexibility.
• Build this capacity by looking at pictures of people and trying the “step inside” activity, the “step in, step out, and step back” activity, or the “context” exercise. These will help you strengthen your ability to consider the world through other people’s eyes.
• One of the biggest obstacles to genuine empathy and emotional intelligence is ego—our own and others’. When dealing with people who are constantly self-referential, uninterested in things that don’t benefit them, lacking in personal accountability and empathy, and have a heightened opinion of themselves, try to avoid getting into a battle of the egos. Lower expectations, stay firm in your boundaries, and maintain distance.
• Watch for narcissism in yourself, too: Don’t assume you’re immune to self-absorption, work on your self-esteem, and consciously mix with those who don’t always confirm your worldview.
DrDurvasula #DSM #Durvasula #Egotist #EgotisticalPeople #Empathy #Entitlement #EQ #Incivility #RamaniSDurvasula #Narcissism #NLP #Perspectivetaking #Ramani #StepInsideExercise #StepOutStepBackExercise #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofEQ
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• People-pleasers can sometimes fall into codependent relationships, where one person is reliant on another, whether that’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually. These toxic dynamics can only be broken when the person is able to re-prioritize themselves as their own “rescue project” and rewrite the core belief that they are only good people if they are needed. This requires understanding the roots of behavior and refusing to make excuses anymore.
Addiction #Codependency #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers
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• Persuasion is about trying to change or influence someone’s mind, and it rests on knowing what that person’s values, perspectives, and needs are so you can address them directly.
• According to Aristotle, the four main modes of persuasion are ethos (appeal to authority), pathos (appeal to emotion), logos (appeal to reason), and kairos (making an argument at the right time and place). Good oration and rhetoric are not about which mode fits you or your message best, but knowing how to put your message in a form that the audience is most likely to hear.
• To speak to pathos, be vulnerable or share a personal experience or even a secret. To speak to logos, use hard data and evidence or a deductive or inductive argument. To speak to ethos, share genuine and relevant credentials. In all cases, try to understand your audience’s emotional state, their perspective, and their most pressing need, then present your message in terms that will appeal to them most.
• Workplace communication runs on all the same communication rules, but we have to consider the bigger role that written and electronic communication plays, too. Professional communication is more about appropriateness, politeness, custom, convention, and formality.
• We need to consider the goal, content, and medium to the message, as well as the audience. First, clarify the reason for communication and let that decide the most appropriate medium. Factor in your company’s unique communication culture and be mindful of your tone.
• Professional communication should follow the seven Cs: It should be clear, concise, correct, concrete, considerate, complete, and courteous.
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• Emotional intelligence is also something we do rather than something we are. Thankfully, it can be learned.
• Empathic listening is total, genuine attention to the other person and the message they are trying to convey. Set aside your own ego and perspective and become genuinely curious about someone else’s world, listening to understand rather than to respond. Be curious and receptive rather than reactive, “listening” to verbal and nonverbal signals.
• To respond empathically, acknowledge their courage, ask questions to clarify their message, convey that you care, and check in with how they’re feeling.
• Offer responses that are both active and constructive, rather than passive and destructive, to create trust and connection. Remember that your response to someone’s positive expressions is a bigger determinant of the relationship quality than how you treat them when they’re unhappy. Show genuine interest in what you’re told and match and reflect people’s emotional experiences rather than invalidating it.
• Practice offering support responses (which maintain the focus on the speaker) instead of shift responses (which shift the focus of the conversation back onto you) if you want to avoid conversational narcissism. Try not to continually center your own emotional experiences or interpret other people’s experiences through the lens of your own. Instead, see conversation as a genuine back and forth and deliberately set aside yourself to learn more about others.
ActiveConstructive #ActiveDestructive #CharlesDerber #ConstructiveResponding #EmpathicListening #GableGonzagaStrachman #PassiveConstructive #PassiveDestructive #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThePowerofE.Q.
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• Kindness and compassion are wonderful if they are genuine. People-pleasers need to learn to develop the skill of genuine kindness rather than acting out of fear, obligation, or a sense of transaction. Mindfulness and loving-kindness practice are two ways to help rescue genuine compassion from the need to please.
• Mindfulness meditation is about presence and being aware of the present moment without judgment or grasping. Go calm and quiet within, setting aside thoughts as they arrive and accepting what is without trying too hard to achieve any particular end.
• Loving-kindness meditation practices generating warm, accepting, and loving attention and extending it to others as well as to yourself. Visualize kindness flowing to the people you love, then progressively to others, and finally to yourself. Compassion does not mean agreement or forgiveness, only that we can acknowledge that as human beings, we all have worth since we are part of what is.
Boundary #Compassion #Lovingkindness #LovingKindnessMeditation #Meditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessMeditation #Peoplepleasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers
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• The goal during conflict is to increase positive feelings for everyone involved. One way to do this is with Carroll’s COIN framework—context, observations, impact, and next (follow-up actions). Use plenty of “I” statements, pause often, and be as clear and direct as possible. When giving feedback, focus on what can be done in the future rather than what has already been done.
• There are many ways to navigate communication when you disagree. The agreement frame helps the other person release their resistance to your perspective because you are able to really support their views or values first and seek common ground that puts you on the same team.
• The art of saying no includes understanding the different kinds of assertions, including basic assertions (statements of facts and limits), empathic assertions (asserting needs and limits whilst acknowledging others’ with kindness), consequence assertions (following through with consequences of not respecting your boundary), discrepancy assertions (drawing attention to difference between what was agreed and what is happening), and negative feeling assertions (owning your own emotions and stating them).
• VOMP is another technique and stands for voice/vent, own, moccasins, and plan. Say your piece and allow the other person to say theirs, own your part in the conflict, show empathy for their perspective, and then move forward with a concrete plan on how to act in the future.
• Marshall Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication is about making neutral observations, expressing feelings with “I” statements, sharing needs, and making reasonable and respectful requests.
• If none of these three techniques work, you can manage a difficult person by “fogging” (being as neutral and non-reactive as possible) or repeating boundaries like a “broken record” until they lose interest.
• Finally, learn the six elements of a successful and genuine apology: express regret and remorse, explain yourself, accept full responsibility, repent, make an offer for reparations, and, only at the end, request forgiveness. Realize that you are not entitled to forgiveness, and accept whatever happens with grace.
AgreementFrame #AnnaCarroll #COINFramework #Communication #Lewicki #MarshallFritz #MarshallRosenberg #NVP #Ransberger #RansbergerPivot #RayRansberger #RoyLewicki #SixStepApology #VOMP #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
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• When we engage in people-pleasing, we are trying to extract validation, approval, and liking from other people. However, self-validation is the ability to provide all these things for ourselves.
• We create self-validation when we acknowledge and accept how we feel without judgment, normalize that feeling, then speak the truth about it.
Boundary #Normalize #Peoplepleasing #Selfvalidation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers
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• Lincoln’s genius traits included intellectual honesty, morality, non-conventionality, and soft skills such as empathy and communication.
• Lincoln had little formal education and had an ordinary background, but was someone who possessed all the skills we associate with genius. He was most talented, perhaps, at working with the genius of others.
• After he was elected president, Lincoln surprised everyone by appointing his “team of rivals” consisting of the men he had beaten in the election, and who often disagreed with him. But with this team, he was able to achieve the enormous accomplishments he is still known for today.
• Like Darwin, Lincoln understood that success and learning come from challenge and the courage to consider alternate and conflicting viewpoints. Lincoln’s cabinet also allowed him to make use of people’s diverse talents.
• Lincoln was also, unlike many in this book, a master at soft skills such as empathy, communication, and the ability to tap into a strong moral code of ethics to power his goals.
• The five genius traits already covered are enhanced and transmitted more effectively when combined with these soft skills, as Lincoln demonstrates. Under his leadership, the Civil War ended with emancipation and the end of slavery, as well as a new and unified national spirit that defined the democratic principles of the country going forward.
• To be like Lincoln, we need to know how to ask for help, to work with others, to engage our critics and competition strategically, and to take even our enemies as our best teachers.
• Lincoln also teaches us the power of connecting not only with our own moral compass, but with other people via their values and principles, to become better communicators and more effective leaders.
AbrahamLincoln #AdamSmith #AmericanCivilWar #Confederacy #Darwin #Declaration #Descartes #DorisKearnsGoodwin #Edison #Einstein #Genius #Gettysburg #GettysburgAddress #IsaacNewton #Kentucky #Lincoln #Nonconventionality #PoliticalGenius #Socrates #SoldiersNationalCemetery #Tesla #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #ThinkLikeaGenius
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• Validation is the process of genuinely hearing, seeing, and witnessing another person’s lived reality and allowing it to be what it is. It’s crucial in good communication. Validation is not agreement or reinforcement but recognizing emotions for what they are. It can be emotional, behavioral, or cognitive—or all three.
• Good listening is the ability to be open and receptive, to accept what we’re told, but also to process and really engage with that information so that we can also return it to the speaker if appropriate.
• There are six increasing levels of listening: passive, responsive, selective, attentive, active, and empathic. Remember your role as a listener with the HUR acronym: hear the message, understand it, and respond. We can respond and show our understanding by paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing.
Clarification #Cognitive #CommunicationSkills #Confirm #EricVanSlyke #HURHearing #Reflecting #Responsive #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining
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• To take our information extraction to the next level, we can use lighter, more relaxed versions of the interrogation techniques practiced by law enforcement.
• One key approach is to lower the person’s defenses by not appearing to them as a threat. This can be done by being casual and informal, or even prying when official interrogations are over. The trick is to behave as though you’re not especially invested in their answer.
• The Columbo technique relies on this impression of casualness so that a question can be sneakily slipped in and answered while the person’s guard is down. Play dumb, ask people to repeat themselves, and maintain a degree of plausible deniability. Hide questions in comments or statements that the other person can’t help but respond to—and reveal themselves.
• The false replay technique aims to confuse and disorient a liar and get them to slip up or confess. You repeat back their story but make a “mistake” with a crucial detail, and watch their reaction. A liar is most likely to ignore it, while a truth teller will correct you. Liars are also most likely to grow agitated, angry, or distracted with being asked to retell their story in different ways, or being asked about it repeatedly.
• Leading questions are typically closed questions that guide a person’s response to where you suspect the truth lies. A question can be made with a built-in assumption, or you could lead a person with priming statements or question tags.
• Being provocative is a great way to de-stabilize someone and observe their reaction—disproportionate anger, fear, or distraction indicate you’ve hit a nerve.
• The golden rule is to gauge a person’s complete response to a question, and not just their verbal answer. Use questions to trigger an emotional reaction and analyze this in context.
BeProvocative #Columbo #FalseReplay #GaugeResponse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo
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• People-pleasers often engage in self-sabotaging behavior: over-apologizing. This happens for many reasons, most commonly low self-esteem, the desire to please others, awkwardness and discomfort, conflict avoidance, anxiety, and perfectionism.
• To overcome over-apologizing, try to practice simply staying silent or expressing concern and compassion in different ways. You could also train out the “sorry habit” by expressing what you really mean to express—for example, gratitude. Don’t apologize for being imperfect, and reframe your idea of politeness so that it includes plain, honest, clear speech, which is always more truthful and assertive. Finally, don’t apologize for things that are outside your control.
Apologizing #Politeness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers
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• There is no communication without emotions. That means that conversational intelligence is emotional intelligence. EQ is a mix of three skills: awareness of emotions, harnessing emotions, and managing emotions.
• If we are emotionally aware, we are able to identify what we are feeling in a conversation as well as observe and comprehend what another person is feeling—even if it’s wildly different from our own experience. We are also then in a position to harness those emotions and to proactively and consciously choose a response.
• Slow down or pause, reflect what you’re being told, and see if you can put the newly identified and named emotion to good use.
• Managing emotions means being conscious and deliberate: We can accept and acknowledge how we feel but still make conscious choices about our behavior according to our chosen goals.
CommunicationSkills #CultivatingEmotionalAwareness #DanielGoleman #EI #EQ #IQ #JohnDMayer #PeterSalovey #PsychologyToday #Validation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining
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00:07:45 Technique One Shotgun Statements
00:09:09 Technique Two Barnum Statements
00:11:45 Technique Three ignoring the misses
00:14:38 Technique Four passing off failures as successes
00:17:11 Technique Five Keeping It Vague
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• We can improve our information extraction skills by following some of the techniques used by fake psychics when they do “cold reading.”
• General principles for cold reading include being subtle, open-ended, and allowing the other person to guide you—without them realizing that you are not doing anything magical but merely working with the information that they provide.
• Shotgun statements are random statements made in order to see what response you get so you can follow it up on what sticks.
• Barnum statements are those that are likely to be perceived as relevant to individuals, even though they apply to almost everyone. Barnum statements are broad guesses that look specific but actually have a high probability of being on the mark.
• When using shotgun or Barnum statements, a cold reader can also ignore their misses and focus on their hits, concealing the fact that they are guessing.
• Another way to mask misses is to pass them off as successes retroactively, or rework your claim to make it seem as though you were right all along.
• Cold readers deliberately keep things vague to start with, and then fine tune their approach according to the feedback they receive. They begin with a non-committal, low-stakes guess and then, by degree, inch closer to the truth using their audience’s response or lack of it.
• A key principle in cold reading is to pay attention to reactions of all kinds, including nonverbal ones.
• Expert cold reading combines all of these techniques seamlessly and swiftly to give the impression that the “psychic” has plucked accurate information from the air, when in reality, it has been fed to him unwittingly by the audience all along!
ShotgunStatements #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #ColdReading #BarnumStatements
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00:08:38 Psychologist Craig Malkin's book Rethinking Narcissism
00:10:59 The Soft Startup
00:13:19 The Empathic Communication Toolkit for Handling Conflict
00:20:47 Use techniques like the Positive no or the Soft Startup
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• To be both assertive and empathic, use techniques like the “positive no” or the “soft startup” when setting a boundary.
• When managing conflicts or difficult communication, remember to use open-ended questions; focus on strengths; let the other person lead; normalize rather than pathologize; and use open, conciliatory body language to show that you are on the same side.
Communicating #Communication #Conciliatory #ConversationalTools #CraigMalkins #DifficultConversation #EmpathicAssertion #EmpathicCommunicationToolkit #EmpathicStruggle #Empathy #ExpressEmpathy #Gottman #JulieGottman #Narcissism #NonviolentCommunication #SimpleEmpathicAssertion #UncomfortableConversation #UnconsciousMessage #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
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00:01:34 Talk WITH people and not TO them.
00:03:07 Dr. Karl Albrecht in Psychology Today
00:15:53 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful Acronyms
00:22:50 Useful Conversational Acronyms The acronym HPM
00:25:17 Another useful acronym is EDR
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• Having charm and charisma is not about you. It’s about the other person and making them feel heard, liked, and supported.
• Dr. Albrecht explains that conversations contain three elements: declaratives, questions, and qualifiers. The rule of three tells us that we should not have three declarative statements in a row and should instead mix it up with a question or a qualifier.
• It’s not really about the content of what you say but the emotional implications and the energy in how you say it.
• Conversational threading is a technique that will help you ensure you never run out of things to say. Listen to what the other person says, pick out a few noteworthy threads, then run with one of them. When the conversation dries up, return to these threads and pick up another one and follow that instead. Be patient, ask open-ended questions, and listen for emotions.
• Being a good everyday conversationalist is about being open-minded, spontaneous, and genuine. Keep things flowing!
Albrecht #CasualConversation #Communication #ConversationalAcronyms #ConversationalNarcissist #ConversationalThreading #DeclarativeStatements #DepthTechniques #DrKarlAlbrecht #EDR #EmotionDetailRestatement #EverydayConversations #HPM #RhetoricalQuestions #SkilledConversationalists #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
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• Eye contact is essential for building trust. If you aren’t able to use eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy. The optimal eye contact period is around three seconds of eye contact at a time, with sufficient rest between gazes.
• Active listening is a valuable skill set that any person should master, but the techniques of active listening can also help you improve your elicitation abilities and gather more information about people. You need to comprehend, retain and respond to the information people are sharing with you.
• You can build rapport and connection in many ways, for example by restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing (gently!) and using silence to encourage the other person to open up. Open-ended or leading questions (like those covered in the previous chapter) can subtly guide a person to open up to you.
• Avoid giving advice, lecturing, sermonizing or judging.
• Active listening techniques are best used when you would like someone to open up with you and share their true feelings. Other techniques are more appropriate for detecting deception.
ActiveListener #Binetti #CommunicationSkills #DohertySneddon #EmpatheticReflection #EyeContact #GazeAversion #GazeDuration #Kajimura #Kressler #LieDetection #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #Nomura #NonverbalCommunication #PupilDilation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth
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• People-pleasing behavior can stem from a harsh inner critic, who is the one telling us that we are not worth anything unless we serve others, or that we do not deserve to have our needs met or boundaries respected.
• We can push against our inner critic by becoming aware of its voice and honestly answering some questions, such as: is the choice I’m making ultimately for me or for someone else? Is this voice in my head serving my interests or working against me? The inner critic, however, is there for a reason, and we can ask what that reason is. Seek to understand what that function is, then consciously choose to meet that need in a healthier way.
InnerCritic #NegativeCoreBeliefs #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers
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• In empathic communication, we should always seek to understand first and to create connection. Empathic statements can help, but avoid deflecting, diminishing, dismissing, dominating the conversation with leading questions, or giving advice or personal anecdotes. Instead, ask empathic questions, compliment something in their character, or do something practical to show you care.
• The nonviolent communication model consists of four components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. First, become aware of the objective facts of the situation and separate them out from interpretations, assumptions, and judgments about those facts. Next, share what you are feeling, remembering that feelings are connected to our needs, met or unmet.
• Then, express these needs without blaming and without confusing needs with strategies used to meet those needs. Finally, finish with a request for that need to be met. Avoid requests that are vague, impossible to fulfil, framed as what you don’t want, or framed as a demand that can’t be refused. A request does not entitle us to receive what we ask for, so we should graciously accept if it isn’t granted.
DrMarshallRosenberg #Empathic #EmpathicConversation #EmpathicStatements #NonjudgmentalPerspective #NonviolentCommunication #NVC #Rosenberg #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathy
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• When reading someone’s body language, pay attention to microexpressions, their overall posture and orientation in space, as well as their degree of eye contact. Paralinguistics refers to information carried in the tone, pace, pitch, etc. of the voice.
• Think in terms of overall openness or closedness, but remember that no single detail is decisive and conclusive and that observations should always be compared against a baseline.
Communication #ConfidentSpeaker #DrArthurAron #EyeContact #InvoluntaryFacialExpression #MichaelEllsberg #NonverbalVocalCommunication #Paralinguistics #TriangleTechnique #VerbalCommunication #VerbalExpression #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTrainingPatrickKing
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• Trust has been shown to work in a linear fashion. The more you see someone, the more you trust them, regardless of interaction or depth. This is known as the propinquity effect and can be used to your advantage in making people feel psychologically comfortable with sharing more with you.
• Credibility is a notch above trust; Trust is about people feeling that they can believe you, and credibility is where people also feel that they can rely on you. There are also proven ways to create an aura of credibility around yourself. These include highlighting qualifications, showing your caring and empathy, showing similarity, being assertive, showing social proof, not contradicting yourself, and avoiding being overly polite.
Festinger #Schachter #Credibility #Credible #DirectTrust #Familiarity #OrielFeldman #RobertZajonc #ThomasSmith #Zajonc #Zanna #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruthPatrickKing
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• Assertive communication is not about force or coercion (aggressive) or pandering and submission (passive-aggressive) but about speaking confidently from the heart. To achieve mature, healthy communication, remember that feelings are never right or wrong, but it matters what we do with those feelings.
• Other people are responsible for their feelings, and ultimately, the goal of communication is not to control others but to connect with them and get our mutual needs met. Finally, an important skill is to ask for what you need from a position of self-knowledge.
AggressiveCommunication #Assertive #Communication #CommunicationSkills #GoodConversation #AssertiveCommunication #NegativeEmotions #Passive #PassiveCommunication #Peoplepleasers #PoorCommunication #Reframing #SilentTreatment #SpeakLoud #SpeakClear #AndSpeakFromTheHeart #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers
00:03:07 Can I just observe without judgment or evaluation?
00:07:41 Brian Grazer is the author of the bestseller A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life.
00:10:39 Type 1: Diversive Curiosity This refers to being attracted to novelty.
00:11:03 Type 2: Epistemic Curiosity Epistemology is the philosophical branch of inquiry related to the theory of knowledge itself.
00:11:51 Type 3: Empathic Curiosity The type we are interested in here.
00:14:16 Keep the Spark of Curiosity Alive
00:17:25 Resist Superficiality
00:20:47 No Such Thing as Boring
00:21:26 Artist and composer John Cage gives this advice: “If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four.
00:23:51 Random Acts of Kindness • Avoid psychologizing. When we interpret people’s experiences, we are no longer fully listening to them.
• Empathy is impossible without curiosity. Curiosity is about more than asking questions—it’s about having a sincere desire to understand someone else’s heart, mind, and complete experience. It requires imagination, a hunger to learn, and an open mind.
• The main thing that gets in the way of real curiosity in empathic listening is the impulse to insert our own opinion, perspective, or frame of reference into the conversation. Imagine that learning to be interested in others is not a boring challenge, but a gift and an opportunity.
• There are three kinds of curiosity: diversive (interest in novelty), epistemic (deeper inquiry into knowledge itself), and empathic. Whenever you notice mild interest in novelty, see if you can explore and amplify it till it becomes richer empathic curiosity.
• Keep the spark of curiosity alive by consistently asking why, digging beneath the superficiality of a situation, and challenging yourself to see nothing as boring.
• Random acts of kindness can make us more empathic. Try to be more alert to other people’s needs and respond spontaneously to them.
• Kindness is a shift from focus on the self to focus on the other. Continually ask yourself, “How are other people doing? What do they need?”
Empathy #Curiosity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathy
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• Good conversation is firstly about the degree of concordance, harmony, and synchronicity between you and the person you’re talking to, i.e., rapport.
• We can increase rapport by mirroring and matching both nonverbal and verbal expression. This can be done with internal and external cues, voice and language, content, and chunking style (i.e., up or down).
Chunking #Communication #EffortlessRapport #EmotionalContent #FacialExpression #JohnGrinder #NeuroLinguisticProgrammingNLP #NonverbalCommunication #RichardBandler #VerbalCommunication #TheRapportGame:FiveWaysToBuildRapport #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining
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00:04:28 Elicitation Practice If none of the above work, that’s where the practice of elicitation comes in.
00:08:15 Ellen Naylor in her 2016 book Win/Loss Analysis wrote about six specific elicitation techniques to get people talking.
00:08:27 Recognition Practice Human beings are social animals.
00:10:56 Complaining Technique This technique works with something else fundamental to human beings: how much we love to complain!
00:15:45 Naïveté Technique In the same vein as the above, many people can’t help speaking up when they believe that someone is not wrong exactly, but merely trying to understand, and it’s their job to clear things up for them.
00:17:57 Shift The Window This technique is a little more dramatic than the others, and may take a bit more practice, or otherwise being more familiar with the person in question.
00:21:42 Silence Practice This last technique may not seem like the others, but in many cases, it can be the most powerful of all.
00:25:05 Episode Takeaways
• Analyze the answers to these questions cautiously, and remember to place everything in context. Note how they answer, not just the content, and also not what isn’t said. Use extrapolation to draw conclusions about what their answers say about them in a more general sense.
• Questions needs to be iterative and responsive to the context and the answers you’ve already received. Also think about behavior online and in emails, or “read” a person’s possessions or home the way you would their body language. Use these observations to guide your questions.
• Elicitation leads you to the information you’re looking for, without it seeming that you are.
• Developed originally by the FBI, these techniques are really just ways to carefully work around conversational and societal norms to your advantage. They are effective because they work with human being’s natural social and behavioral tendencies.
• For example, one tendency is towards recognition, or social connection. Use compliments or accurate observations to foster a rapport with someone or strengthen your connection.
• You can also elicit information by encouraging people to complain, and in doing so, reveal something previously hidden, or else tap into the human need to correct someone’s error. Sued skillfully, most people cannot resist joining in on a complaining session or correcting an “error” you make.
• Playing dumb or using naivete or ignorance will also encourage some people to try to educate you, and share vital information, especially since you will seem so non-threatening.
• Finally, one technique is to say something quite dramatic to “shift the window” and then act as though nothing has happened; subtly, you may well elicit a revealing response. Silence can also be used effectively, since it encourages people to fill the gap with the information you want to know.
AccurateAssessments #AccurateObservations #AwkwardTension #BehavioralTendencies #Beliefs #BenignSituations #ComplainingTechnique #ElicitationPractice #EllenNaylor #IndirectQuestions #NaïvetéTechnique #SilencePractice #PuttingYourQuestionsIntoContext #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth
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00:01:27 In 2019, Matthew Berry and Steven Brown did research on the vocal tones
00:06:14 Jo Emerson is a confidence coach
00:07:10 Watch Your Body Language
00:08:33 Maintain Comfortable Eye Contact
00:09:26 Dress the Part
00:10:38 Develop Your Personal Sense of Poise
• Assertiveness is something you can fake till you make! Be mindful of your body language (stand tall and take up space), maintain comfortable eye contact, fine-tune your personal sense of style (whatever that is), and practice the habits of a poised, composed person (such as gracefully accepting compliments).
EyeContact #GenuineConfidence #JoEmerson #MatthewBerry #KarenPine #StevenBrown #BeingAssertive—OrAtLeastHowToFakeItTillYouMakeIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself
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• When we listen empathically and reflect, we go quiet and still within ourselves so we can receive as accurate a picture of the other person’s account as possible. We use mirroring and paraphrasing without questioning, leading, or starting a new thread.
• We can reflect either content, feeling, or meaning, but should always remain non-directional and non-judgmental.
Empathic #EmpathicListeners #Invalidation #Jung #DrAnnVertel #Psychologizing #Reflecting #BeStillAndReflect #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathy
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00:03:29 “But I thought you meant X!”
00:07:00 Preconceived Attitudes.
00:12:34 Judgment and Premature Evaluation.
00:15:11 Other Bad Communication Habits to Avoid.
00:17:12 Constantly Interrupting.
00:19:10 Using Qualifiers.
00:20:22 Equating Your Experiences.
00:20:27 “I know exactly how you feel!"
00:22:24 Waiting Instead of Listening.
00:23:14 Fluff and Filler Words.
Barriers to good conversation include assumptions, strong negative emotions like anger and aggression (which inspire defensiveness), preconceived ideas and prejudice, fear, inflexibility and a need to control, premature evaluation and judgment, and other negative conversational habits like interrupting or one-upping.
AmazingCommunicationSkills #BadCommunicationHabits #BadConversationalist #BadHabit #CommonHabitualConversationalTraps #Communication #CommunicationBreakdown #CommunicationHabits #CommunicationSkills #ConversationalNarcissism #ConversationFlow #DistortCommunication #EffectiveCommunication #FillerWords #Floundering #Fluff #GoodCommunicator #HumanInteraction #ManipulativeCommunicationStyle #PrematureEvaluation #PsychologicalBarrier #PsychologicalBarriersToCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
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Asking questions is an active way to deliberately elicit information from a person, but they need to be targeted and not too obvious. A few seemingly casual hypothetical questions can reveal a person’s deeper values, perspectives, and goals, for example asking what their favorite movie is, what they would save from a fire, or what animal they see themselves as.
Answer #Answering #DustinWood #Questions #Rorschach #AskedAndAnalyzed #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
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• Everyone has a right to have boundaries. Try to reframe how you think of boundaries—they are there to protect and prioritize what’s important, and not shut someone out or offend them. Trust your own feelings and judgments instead of avoiding them.
• State your boundary and don’t overexplain or ask permission. Then, if a boundary is violated, follow up with appropriate action. A big part of healthy boundaries is respecting other people’s boundaries, too.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Acquiescing #Assert #Boundary #Boundarysetting #Communicate #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #EveryoneNeedsBoundaries...IncludingYou! #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself.
• Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however.
• The way you communicate is a choice. Assertive communication is the ability to express needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings directly without disrespecting or controlling others. Mature conversationalists are self-controlled, balanced, relaxed, open, and respectful.
• Communicating well is simple and easy, but we need to remove the formidable psychological barriers that stand in the way. With awareness, we can remove them and improve our communication skills.
AggressiveCommunicator #Assertive #AssertiveCommunicator #Communication #CommunicationStyle #Communicator #Manipulation #Manipulative #ManipulativeCommunicator #Nonverbally #Passive #Passiveaggressive #PassiveAggressiveCommunicator #PassiveCommunicator #TheBasicsAreNotSoBasic #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• Body language signals cannot be interpreted in isolation. Rather, first seek a baseline of behavior to help interpret a particular new observation – a baseline helps you identify incongruent behavior and spot a deception.
• Look for mirroring, pay attention to overall energy, and remember that body language is dynamic, so you need to gather as much data as possible. Then consider this data in context of history and the current environment.
• The voice is a part of the human body and speed, timbre, volume, pitch, and degree of control can signify emotional state. The body is a whole, with verbal and nonverbal mingling together.
• Reading “message clusters” helps us organize isolated observations, and note whether they are aggressive, romantic, assertive, deceptive ad so on, in aggregate.
Aggression #Assertive #Clusters #Context #Deceit #Deceptive #DondersInstitute #HumanBody #Nonverbal #PaulEkman #PNAS #Pouw #Submissive #TheHumanBodyIsAWhole—ReadItThatWay #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• Use mirroring, paraphrasing, or reflecting to show active listening.
• Body language can be empathic too, and when your body mirrors another person’s, this is a way to show physical “active listening” of the body.
• To show that your body is listening, face the person, make comfortable eye contact, and seek to concur with “yeses” or head nods. Then mirror their words, voice, posture, or other idiosyncrasies.
• When mirroring, be mindful of the gender or cultural context, and only reflect what is positive. Avoid mirroring strong negative emotions (panic, anger, depression) and instead model a sense of calm by slowing down and taking a deep breath; the other person may then mirror you.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
DrKerstinUväsMoberg #Empathy #Gueguen #Heres #Listening #VanBaaren #TheBodyCanListen #Too #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Mirroring #Paraphrasing #ActiveListening
One of the most useful tools in the people-pleaser’s survival kit is the ability to say NO. There are at least six different kinds of no to learn and practice: the direct no, the reasoned no, the reflecting no, the rain check no, the enquiring no, and the broken record no. Each can be used in different circumstances, according to the boundary you need to set. Whichever form you use, you’ll need to challenge your assumptions and beliefs about saying no and communicate clearly and confidently.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Assertiveness #EmotionalAppeal #EmotionalResponse #HealthyRelationship #PoliteRefusal #TrevorPowell #SixDifferentWaysToSayNO #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• Ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro has some tips for reading body language, and they come from an understanding that body language is inbuilt, automatic and ancient, and based on fight, flight or freeze response in humans. For examples, “pacifying behaviors” like covering the neck can indicate the person is trying to manage stress.
• Note how the body is occupying space, and whether it is generally closed or open. Posture and gesture can tell you about whether a person is assertive, aggressive, uncertain or fearful. Bodies expand when they are comfortable, happy, or dominant. They contract when unhappy, fearful, or threatened.
ArmsAkimbo #AutomaticResponses #BasicGestures #BouncyLegs #FacialExpressions #JoeNavarro #Navarro #NegativeEmotions #NervousTension #NonverbalCommunication #NonverbalSignals #Pacifying #PeopleSkills #PrefrontalCortex #Ventilating #BodyTalk #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• To listen effectively and empathically, we need to let our egos take a back seat so the other person can lead. If we are sensitive, alert, and respectful, we can listen without an agenda.
• Listen with maximum attention without getting distracted by anything other than the perspective being shared with you in that very moment.
• Seek to understand, not to judge, appraise, or evaluate—in fact, your opinion is irrelevant! Only your presence and awareness are necessary. Have radical acceptance for what is simply because it is.
• Maintain deep curiosity. Ask questions that create space in which the other person can expand. This sends the message, “You are important. How you are feeling has value. I am listening because what you are going through is worthy of attention and worth knowing more about.”
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
CarlRogers #Mindful #Mirroring #Paraphrasing #RadicalAcceptanceFirst #Realizing #Reflecting #Don’TJustListenActively #ListenEmpathically #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• People-pleasers can be conflict avoidant, but this is actually a high-risk strategy, and you may gather resentments only to explode later (“gunnysacking”). Instead, use “and” instead of “but” in conversations, or try the “Five Whys” technique to get to the heart of what you’re really avoiding.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Conflict #Gunnysacking #Peoplepleasers #Peoplepleasing #PeopleSkills #Reparenting #ConflictAvoidanceIsActuallyAHigh-RiskStrategy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• It’s possible to extract loads of useful information from people merely by using the power of observation.
• First, observe the face, tiny, quick and involuntary movements of the face can “leak” a person’s true emotions – there are six universal ones: anger, fear, surprise, disgust, happiness. Look for microexpressions that contradict what is said verbally.
Ekman #Macroexpressions #Microexpressions #Observing #PaulEkman #LookAtMyFace #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth
• Your perspective on life is what makes you unique, but it can also be a source of isolation, misunderstanding, and conflict.
• A pre-conceived notion about who another person is may be the single biggest obstacle on the path to genuine empathy for them. Getting rid of bias is about more than guarding against sexism or racism and more about consciously choosing to remember that all people are united in their shared humanity.
• Prejudice is pre-judging what another’s experience is and what it means. Stereotypes and categories undermine authentic connections with others. Bias is a filter through which all the information we receive about that person is distorted. Being empathic is not just about being kind. It’s about clear, accurate perception and genuine comprehension of another worldview.
• To tackle your own prejudice, first acknowledge that you do have it! Consciously choose to expose yourself to the unfamiliar and challenge yourself to empathize not just with similarity but with difference. Assume there is always a common ground between you and another individual and actively choose to focus on that instead of what is different.
• Forget the Golden Rule and remember that the very meaning of compassion, kindness, and empathy changes depending on the recipient. Show people compassion, but on their terms, not yours.
• In interactions, try to explore: what the other person thinks about themselves, what the other person thinks about you, what you think about them, and what you think about yourself. This can be especially helpful during a conflict.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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GoldenRule #PeopleSkills #Prejudice #Stereotype #Stereotypes #AccountingForBias #Prejudice #Ego #AndPerspective #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
In the face of trauma and conflict, some people respond with anger, some respond by fleeing . . . and some, like Person A, respond with a flood of appeasing, soothing, and conciliatory behavior. “Fight or flight” is an option for some people, but for those with a history of trauma, another option when faced with threat is to go into fawning mode and try to make it all better.
Picture an animal defensively rolling onto its back, trying to appear as meek and agreeable as possible so that it’s spared by a powerful predator. Fawning is an attempt to fly under the radar rather than engage in conflict. It’s a way of deflecting attention.
In a crisis or disagreement, is your first instinct to soothe, calm, or please others?
Do you do anything to avoid conflict—even if that means ignoring your own needs?
In a stressful interaction, is your focus on other people’s emotions?
Fawning behavior is actually a kind of trauma response. This behavior, in other words, is something you might have learned in childhood, where “rolling over” this way was the only thing that helped you survive conflict.
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Fawning #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #Trauma #DefenseMechanism #Conflict
• To rewrite our negative thought patterns, We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
• We can use the ABCDE acronym (activating event, belief, consequence, disputation, and new event) and explore the stories we’re telling in a thought journal. We can decide whether a new alternative is a good one according to its accuracy, helpfulness, and congruence with our values.
• Once you’ve identified your current thoughts, ask if there’s a different way to think about things, and how you can bring that idea to life with concrete action. Seek out evidence for a new belief, practice self-compassion, and go into learning mode, asking questions instead of making statements.
• Negativity can be relieved by shifting perspectives and creating psychological distance. Remember that pessimism, negativity, and gloomy nihilism are all coping mechanisms and once served a purpose. But right now, we can choose to cope with adversity in different, healthier ways (and there always will be adversity!)
• Create spatial, temporal, and psychological distance from distressing thoughts, ask what others might do in our situation (role-switching), and turn your mind to concrete action instead of asking why. Focus on a small, concrete detail in the present and ask what you can do. Avoid identifying problems without seeking solutions—i.e., complaining!
• When we are stuck in intense emotions, we can try the ACT technique of defusion. Imagine that your Mind is something separate from you and that you can watch it.
• Remember that you are not your thoughts; you are just having thoughts. Make your thoughts earn their keep!
ABCDE #ACT #Negativity #StopNegativeThinking #AnalyzeThyself:TheABCMethodAndThoughtJournals #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ThoughtJournals #ABCMethod
• Reading literature may actually make you a more empathic human being. It can reduce bias and prejudice and literally change your brain physiology. The key is in the ability to switch perspectives.
• Choose literary fiction, preferably written in first person. Try authors who are different from yourself, or books about characters that are unlike yourself.
• Read actively and engage with the story. Pause to ask questions to investigate the character’s point of view, switching perspectives and exploring motivations and desires. Ask yourself, “What does the human experience feel like for this specific human? Why?” Instead of asking how you would feel in their shoes, ask how they feel in their shoes. However, be discerning about what kind of perspectives you delve into!
• Another way to build empathy is to create “emotional literacy.” Emotional literacy is the ability to identify and verbalize complex emotions. It is an act of self-awareness. With greater emotional identification and awareness comes more clarity, insight, and mastery—and better empathy.
• The emotion wheel is a helpful tool that helps you develop increased self-awareness, empathic mastery, and precision when it comes to emotions. It outlines shades and nuances of the eight primary emotions: sadness, anger, disgust, joy, trust, fear, surprise, and anticipation.
• We can use the emotion wheel both to identify and explore our own emotions and to identify and empathize with the emotions of others. To empathize with others’ emotions, pause to become aware, notice their body language, then identify a primary emotion on the emotion wheel. Keep asking questions, making observations, or offering emotion labels to home in on exactly what they’re feeling.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
HowToDiscoverAndFlexYourEmpathyMuscles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Reading literature may actually make you a more empathic human being. It can reduce bias and prejudice and literally change your brain physiology. The key is in the ability to switch perspectives.
• Choose literary fiction, preferably written in first person. Try authors who are different from yourself, or books about characters that are unlike yourself.
• Read actively and engage with the story. Pause to ask questions to investigate the character’s point of view, switching perspectives and exploring motivations and desires. Ask yourself, “What does the human experience feel like for this specific human? Why?” Instead of asking how you would feel in their shoes, ask how they feel in their shoes. However, be discerning about what kind of perspectives you delve into!
• Another way to build empathy is to create “emotional literacy.” Emotional literacy is the ability to identify and verbalize complex emotions. It is an act of self-awareness. With greater emotional identification and awareness comes more clarity, insight, and mastery—and better empathy.
• The emotion wheel is a helpful tool that helps you develop increased self-awareness, empathic mastery, and precision when it comes to emotions. It outlines shades and nuances of the eight primary emotions: sadness, anger, disgust, joy, trust, fear, surprise, and anticipation.
• We can use the emotion wheel both to identify and explore our own emotions and to identify and empathize with the emotions of others. To empathize with others’ emotions, pause to become aware, notice their body language, then identify a primary emotion on the emotion wheel. Keep asking questions, making observations, or offering emotion labels to home in on exactly what they’re feeling.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
HowToDiscoverAndFlexYourEmpathyMuscles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Over-giving stemming from fear of rejection is not genuine generosity. Break the cycle by changing the core belief: “I cannot survive rejection.” Instead, court rejection deliberately and teach yourself that it doesn’t define you. Challenge your narratives with self-compassion, and focus on process, not outcome. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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AreYouGenerous?OrJustAfraidOfRejection? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Over-giving stemming from fear of rejection is not genuine generosity. Break the cycle by changing the core belief: “I cannot survive rejection.” Instead, court rejection deliberately and teach yourself that it doesn’t define you. Challenge your narratives with self-compassion, and focus on process, not outcome. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
AreYouGenerous?OrJustAfraidOfRejection? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• How you think creates your life; negativity poisons everything in your world. • Changing negativity requires a degree of metacognition (thinking about thinking) and a leap of faith to do something that hasn’t been done before. Anyone can change their thought patterns; it requires only honest awareness and a willingness to take conscious and inspired action.
• Our mental shortcuts, assumptions, biases, and stereotypes are great at saving time and effort, but are not one hundred percent accurate one hundred percent of the time. The “all-or-nothing” disease is when we overextrapolate from one experience to other experiences we haven’t had; we are making an error.
• Words have power, and our speech reflects our thought patterns. “Out of power” language is passive, self-victimizing, doubtful, angry, unconfident, fearful, excuse-making, or pessimistic, and can create a self-fulfilling prophesy.
• Become aware of your internal verbal habits. Then focus on what can be done, embrace nuance and shades of gray, and speak to yourself like you would a loved one.
• A cognitive distortion is a persistently incorrect belief, perception, or thought—for example, mental filtering, personalization, jumping to conclusions, mind-reading, catastrophizing, and using “should” statements and labels.
• Positive thinking is not just the absence of distortions, but thinking that helps you feel calm, hopeful, curious, grateful, stable, and confident.
• To challenge your inner critic, commit to not allowing your thoughts to dominate you. Gain psychological distance by labeling the thoughts as thoughts, not reality, and have self-compassion.
• Change happens outside your comfort zone, so realize that at some point, you’ll need to take the leap and try something new.
InternalDialogue #Self-Talk #NickTrenton #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #StopNegativeThinking
• Empathy is about the ability to take another person’s perspective. It is similar to “theory of mind,” which is the human capacity to understand another person’s state of mind and comprehend that it is totally different from our own. Empathy is not only theory of mind but “theory of heart”—to feel other people’s emotions—and it’s hardwired into our brains and bodies. • Empathy is not about any particular situation, but about a unique individual’s perspective on that situation.
• Though it is an innate human ability, it is in decline. We need to consciously cultivate and develop empathy.
• There are three kinds of empathy: Cognitive empathy is empathy based on knowing or understanding what someone else is going through, on an intellectual level.
• Emotional empathy is the ability to actually share and take some part in the emotional experience of another person.
• With compassionate empathy, we put our feelings of understanding and sympathy to good use. We try to resolve problems, remove burdens, or inspire insights that will help progress the situation.
• In an empathic interaction, move from cognitive to emotional to compassionate empathy.
• Sympathy is like seeing someone is in a hole, but standing on the outside looking in with concern. Empathy is like getting down into the hole and relating to the person side by side, with them.
• Too little empathy is a problem, but so is too much. Becoming overwhelmed in another person’s world means we lose perspective—as well as the ability to be of any practical help to them.
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CompassionateEmpathy #Empathy #Sympathy #UnderstandingEmpathyAndWhyWeNeedIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• People-pleasing is a complex learned behavior, but it can be understood and changed. One of the most common underlying causes is the need to be liked. • We can counter this mindset by remembering we are like inkblots (i.e., what people see is about them, not about you) and understanding that your worth does not come from other people’s approval.
• When you untangle yourself from other people’s opinions and judgments, you free yourself to ask what YOU want, what you care about, and what you value. The “separation of tasks” exercise helps you to tease apart your responsibilities from other peoples’—their feelings are not your business.
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• To this end, we come to the concept of active listening. It’s a way to participate in conversations while being on the receiving end. Most might think that receiving simply means sitting quietly, but that’s a huge mistake. There are nine types of active listening responses we cover, to be used when trying to connect deeply with someone: comprehending, retaining, responding, restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing with leading questions, and silence. • Oversharing may seem like something to avoid, but there is plenty of research to suggest that honestly opening up to others actually makes them like and trust us more. You’ll distinguish yourself from the automatic stereotypes by giving specific details about yourself, and make your life seem more interesting and compelling.
• We can divulge both by revealing additional information or by confessing to how we feel, sharing a story or revealing something unexpected about ourselves. People bond over emotional identification, so don’t worry about appearing weak or vulnerable—divulging will actually encourage others to do the same and foster good rapport.
• When we engage with others, a golden rule of engagement is to focus on finding similarity and creating a sense of a shared experience and familiarity.
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AutomaticStereotypes #EmotionalIdentification #GoodRapport #Oversharing #NineTypesOfActiveListeningResponses #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• To this end, we come to the concept of active listening. It’s a way to participate in conversations while being on the receiving end. Most might think that receiving simply means sitting quietly, but that’s a huge mistake. There are nine types of active listening responses we cover, to be used when trying to connect deeply with someone: comprehending, retaining, responding, restating, reflecting, summarizing, labeling emotions, probing with leading questions, and silence. • Oversharing may seem like something to avoid, but there is plenty of research to suggest that honestly opening up to others actually makes them like and trust us more. You’ll distinguish yourself from the automatic stereotypes by giving specific details about yourself, and make your life seem more interesting and compelling.
• We can divulge both by revealing additional information or by confessing to how we feel, sharing a story or revealing something unexpected about ourselves. People bond over emotional identification, so don’t worry about appearing weak or vulnerable—divulging will actually encourage others to do the same and foster good rapport.
• When we engage with others, a golden rule of engagement is to focus on finding similarity and creating a sense of a shared experience and familiarity.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
AutomaticStereotypes #EmotionalIdentification #GoodRapport #Oversharing #NineTypesOfActiveListeningResponses #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• One quick technique is misdirection, where a statement has two parts: the first is expected and ordinary, the second contradicts it with unexpected and comedic results. Sarcasm can be powerful but is best when directed at yourself and used with those you are more familiar with. Ironic humor is similar to sarcasm, but more focused on the observation of the contrast between the expected and the actual. • The world of improv has a lot to teach us about good conversational chemistry. One improv rule is not to hold on to any outcome too tightly, and be ready to follow the emerging flow of the conversation.
• Another rule is to rely on quick connections to make sure you always have something to say. This can be practiced by free associating one, two, or five words. Good improv is about having faith in the conversation’s direction, and your ability to be okay with where it goes.
• The 1:1:1 method of storytelling is a mini story technique that relies on one action, summarized in one sentence, that evokes one main emotion in the listener. This keeps your stories engaging, short, and effective. Alternatively, you can ask for other people’s stories.
• Conversational diversity is about having as many different tools in your toolkit as possible. Hypothetical questions are one such tool. These kinds of “what if . . .?” questions inject some excitement, creativity, and unpredictability, while showing something interesting about the person giving the answer.
• Finally, thinking out loud can be a way to turn monologues into dialogues. If we speak freely and without self-censoring, we break the ice, share ourselves honestly, and invite (rather than demand) others to join us.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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Conversations #Ironic #Sarcasm #SubtlyCharismatic:HumorAndMisdirection #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• One quick technique is misdirection, where a statement has two parts: the first is expected and ordinary, the second contradicts it with unexpected and comedic results. Sarcasm can be powerful but is best when directed at yourself and used with those you are more familiar with. Ironic humor is similar to sarcasm, but more focused on the observation of the contrast between the expected and the actual. • The world of improv has a lot to teach us about good conversational chemistry. One improv rule is not to hold on to any outcome too tightly, and be ready to follow the emerging flow of the conversation.
• Another rule is to rely on quick connections to make sure you always have something to say. This can be practiced by free associating one, two, or five words. Good improv is about having faith in the conversation’s direction, and your ability to be okay with where it goes.
• The 1:1:1 method of storytelling is a mini story technique that relies on one action, summarized in one sentence, that evokes one main emotion in the listener. This keeps your stories engaging, short, and effective. Alternatively, you can ask for other people’s stories.
• Conversational diversity is about having as many different tools in your toolkit as possible. Hypothetical questions are one such tool. These kinds of “what if . . .?” questions inject some excitement, creativity, and unpredictability, while showing something interesting about the person giving the answer.
• Finally, thinking out loud can be a way to turn monologues into dialogues. If we speak freely and without self-censoring, we break the ice, share ourselves honestly, and invite (rather than demand) others to join us.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Conversations #Ironic #Sarcasm #SubtlyCharismatic:HumorAndMisdirection #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Being charming is about developing social awareness and conversational intelligence. Much of this depends on empathy, and being able to step outside your own reality bubble and honestly see your own blind spots in conversations. • Try not to ever assume that other people think, feel or believe as you do, or that their conversation experience is the same as yours. “Double click” on what they share with you and be genuinely curious and open minded, rather than making assumptions and guesses.
• Contrary to the conventional advice about small talk, you can build rapport with relative strangers by consciously choosing to go deep with them – and such conversations can be less awkward than you imagine. Just don’t complain or pressure people to respond in a particular way.
• Show people that you’re paying attention and understand them by using the principles of cold reading. Invite their participation, use high-probability generalized statements, downplay incorrect guesses, and collect observations to show people that you really get them.
• Generally, people tend to hide the fact that they want a conversation to end, and most people wish conversations ended sooner. Play it safe by quitting while you’re ahead. Gracefully disengage by waiting for a gap, starting with a positive, making an excuse, and leaving with warmth but also firmness.
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BlindSpots #ConversationalIntelligence #SocialAwareness #BoostYourCQ(ConversationalIntelligence) #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• In order to interact and engage more fully in conversations, we need to work against our not-so-useful habits and learn better ones. • A non-negotiable habit is becoming a master at using questions. The right questions help people feel closer to us, communicate our attention and care, share our competence, show that we’re aware and paying attention, deepen intimacy, guide the conversation, and make us more trustworthy.
• All exchanges, and hence all questions, are typically on one of three possible levels: those exchanging factual information, those exchanging feelings and emotions, and those communicating deeper values. In social situations, you’ll lean more heavily on the last two, but a good conversation works when people have similar conversational goals and are matched in the level they’re interacting on.
• Conversational narcissism is an impediment to curiosity, engagement, and good question asking. Whether unconscious or conscious, this usually results from us placing something other than connection with the other person as our goal for conversation, i.e. to brag, to defend, to compete.
• We can reduce our own conversational narcissism by using questions. Follow-up questions are very effective, as are open-ended questions that don’t make people uncomfortable, but may gently push on the barrier or normal etiquette.
• Just as a role model can be a guide and inspiration for your own behavior, a model can also help you stay curious when you talk to others. Talk show hosts are experts and placing their conversation partners front and center, so we can ask, what would they do? Usually, the answer is “treat my guest like the most interesting person in the whole universe.”
• Curiosity needs to be genuine. We all have a bias against others sometimes, assuming they’re not very interesting, but unless we ask, we won’t learn about their more fascinating sides. Assume that everyone has something to teach you, and foster genuine inquisitiveness. into the details of their world. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
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ConversationalNarcissism #GoodConversation #Questions–AnUnderratedSuperpower #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Arguments are sometimes inevitable but we can argue best if we use “steel manning” rather than attacking a strawman. Create the best version of your opponent’s argument by breaking it down, then help them build that argument, actively arguing on your counterpart’s behalf. You will more quickly reach harmonious agreement, or at least disagree more civilly. • Use the fogging technique to manage people who are aggressive or unreasonable. By giving people a minimal, calm response that they cannot easily engage with, you defuse tension. Listen carefully for a kernel of truth, repeat the truth calmly and neutrally, but don’t add any new information and keep maintaining calm.
• The Ransberger pivot is a way to “win an argument without arguing.” Listen carefully to start, look for points of commonality, and keep returning to any ways in which you and the other person are actually on the same page.
• The “feel, felt, found” technique is another a simple way to mitigate conflict. Acknowledge how they feel, point to another person who has felt similarly in the past, then show what you have found works based on how this person managed the issue.
• Finally, the agreement frame allows us to gracefully disagree with someone without destroying rapport. Use terms like I respect, I appreciate and I agree to signal an intention to cooperate. Agree, acknowledge their position, and acknowledge both your desired outcomes, using “and” rather than “but.”
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• What you don’t say is also important. When you speak, remember to include pauses in the right places to convey confidence or emphasis. Give your listeners time to digest what you’ve said. • Use the Pareto principle, or the 80-20 rule, and try to make 80% of the conversation about the other person and 20% about yourself. Listen, ask questions, and pay attention rather than forcing a particular topic, being fake, trying to impress or interrupting.
• Be aware of microexpressions (tiny, ultra-rapid facial expressions), especially those that don’t seem to match what is being said. Microexpressions tell the “truth” about someone’s feelings, so observing them can give you empathy and insight into how they really feel.
• People feel like they “click” more often when responses are swift, so pay attention and keep things flowing and responsive. That said, it’s better to end a flagging conversation than panic too much when it goes quiet.
• If you find yourself inching towards conflict, pause and ask whether the other person is speaking from a position of cognitive dissonance and, if they are, back away and try to re-establish rapport, since pushing will only invite more resistance. And, of course, be on guard against the tendency to hold incompatible or irrational views yourself!
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CognitiveDissonance #Microexpressions #Pareto #ThePowerOfShuttingUp #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Part 1 of this book is all about the charismatic presence. How might you wish for someone to describe you, and how much does that differ from reality? And then, how do you bridge the gap between these two versions of yourself? Part 1 is more theoretical and introspective, while Part 2 is all about action. How do you actually create the type of interactions that will draw people to you, regardless of your current personality? • Unsurprisingly, it all starts with empathy. When you have empathy, you know what other people are thinking and feeling, or at least you can make a pretty darned good guess about it. And if we know what people are thinking and feeling, we can also make a darned good guess as to what they want. And that’s what will allow us to create charismatic interactions.
• The first is to simply read more. This is probably the best practice you can do without having someone in front of you, because it forces you to inhabit someone else’s perspective and inner dialogue. You can see in the story that because X happened, Y and Z might happen. This seems simple, but it is not easy to practice in daily life. Having an experience filter is very similar, in that it forces you to step out of your perspective (which is necessarily limited) and really try to see someone else’s. It might sound like we are only talking about empathy here, but the truth is that empathy and charisma are extremely, extremely related. Yes, deliberately practicing theory of mind is also more in the same direction of understanding another person’s thoughts and emotions.
• Finally, understanding the difference between facts and interpretation will help you know what you should respond to. Almost always, you should be trying to respond to people’s interpretation because their emotions are buried within, and that’s what will draw people to you.
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CharismaticInteractions #CharismaticPresence #Empathy #TheBedrockOfGoodCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• There are many ways to assert your own boundaries and limits without encroaching on others’. Try the stuck record technique (calmly repeating your limit without budging), the “positive no” (reiterate what you are saying yes to) negative assertion or negative enquiry (accepting and enquiring about criticism). • The DESC model can help you stand up for yourself. Describe the facts of the situation, Express how you are being affected, suggest a specific Solution, then finish with a Conclusion/consequences, i.e. what will happen if the behavior is changed and what will happen if it isn’t.
• Humor is useful, but it needs to be the right kind. Positive humor styles (especially affiliative humor) are better for relationships. Avoid self-enhancing, aggressive or self-defeating humor styles.
• Use the platinum rule: Do unto others as they would want done to them. Listen, be empathetic and stay curious about other people’s perspectives, even and especially if they differ from yours. Ask what they want and need, and how they conceptualize of you, themselves, and the situation.
• A good apology needs a few necessary elements: expression of regret, explanation of what went wrong, taking responsibility, repentance, offer for reparations, and a request for forgiveness.
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• Your voice is a powerful nonverbal communicator. Be aware of your pitch, volume, articulation and pace, and practice to ensure you’re having the effect you want. • Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio found that people make decisions not from logic but from emotion – which is what you should speak to when trying to connect meaningfully with others.
• You can use open loops to create conversations that feel rich, full, and “complete.” Simply start a story and don’t finish it, so you can return later if the conversation stalls.
• When speaking, you will be more engaging and captivating if your language is fresh, novel and vivid. Use metaphors to explain complex topics in simple, relatable ways. To connect to people emotionally, use compelling language and colorful imagery, and allow your enthusiasm to shine through.
• Change the focus of the conversation from yourself to the other person. The goal is to connect and flow, not to compete or perform. Using the words “yes, and” borrowed from improv comedy, you keep things open-ended and dynamic. Be ready to abandon any fixed ideas of the conversation’s goal and follow what is emerging in the moment – your conversation will feel more natural, more joyful, and more connected.
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Conversation #AntonioDamasio #SocialInteractions #SuccessfulConversations #WatchWhatYouSay… #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• We can condense the four theories of charisma into 5 distinct charismatic traits: likeability and warmth; power and influence; emotional intelligence; presence, awareness and self-control; and social intelligence and leadership. If we can consistently hit these five notes in our social interactions, we cannot help but boost our “charisma quotient.” • To be impactful, charisma has to be genuine to us. We need to take responsibility for honestly appraising our skills and taking concrete action to improve in real life. Whether we are extroverted or introverted, there is a unique charisma style that will work for us.
• Real life celebrities and historical figures can serve as examples and inspiration. Both Will Smith and Marilyn Monroe show how you can tick all 5 charisma boxes, but in completely different ways.
• Will Smith teaches us to be prepared, stay humble and work hard, and lead with positivity, humor, and good-naturedness. Though his social mask makes him appear easygoing and lighthearted, it conceals the effort, deliberation and hard work required to build the life and image you want.
• Marilyn Monroe teaches us that charisma can also be about magnetically drawing people towards you, rather than being loud and over the top to demand attention. Marilyn shows us the power of appearance, and how to craft a performing person down to the finest detail. She also shows us indirectly that perfection is not required, and that if you can lean honestly into your own vulnerability and fragility, people may love you all the more for it.
• You can design your own unique charisma formula by honestly rating how you perform in each of these five areas, and committing to taking action today to improve.
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• One useful conversational skill is chunking, where you vary the level of information you get coming back to you. This way, you can reach an agreement, acquire more and correct detail, or even persuade people to move from one plane of thought to another. Chunk up to gain a broader view everyone can agree on, and chunk down to find detail. Move from general to specific, keeping the other person’s reactions in mind. • Use clean language to discover, explore and work with people’s metaphors without “contaminating” them. Listen for metaphors used, ask questions about them and continue the conversation using the same language and imagery to show your understanding.
• Use the HPM technique to always have something to say in conversations. Talk about history (a past experience) philosophy (your feelings on it) and a metaphor (describe both with a vivid metaphor). Keep is short, sweet and natural.
• Use signposting and transitional words to tell your listeners where your story is going. Signal what is coming and link your ideas logically using words that guide your listener’s understanding.
• Use conversational threading. Listen out for emotional hooks and pursue the conversation in that direction. Follow the most exciting or interesting leads and return to old, unexplored ones when conversation flags or ideas run out.
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• Conversational charm is about connecting genuinely to others. First, get your ego out of the way by suspending judgment and forgetting about agreement or disagreement. Listen actively, pay full attention and avoid the temptation to connect everything they say to yourself! • Move slowly and sequentially through the three stages of rapport by making appropriate disclosures to signal trust and willingness to connect. Light disclosure can be an embarrassing tale. Medium disclosure shares your beliefs and deeper feelings. Finally, heavy disclosure is about your more serious vulnerabilities. Don’t be a closed book, but be selective about who you open up to.
• Use connection stories to tell people about who you are – instead of dry facts, share anecdotes that sincerely convey your values as a person.
• You can come across as more charismatic if you show you’re paying attention by labeling the other person’s experience or emotions. Use “it seems like” or “it sounds like” to paraphrase and demonstrate your empathic understanding.
• Finally, don’t be boring! Boring traits are those that downplay fun. In conversations, be relaxed, playful, open and warm, and forego needing to be right or appear smart.
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AnnetteSimmons #Conversations #Dreeke #EffectiveConversations #HowardGardner #PositiveEmotion #Rapport #RobertCialdini #RobinDreeke #Tilburg #ToxicRelationship #ConnectingBeneathTheSurface #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Olivia Fox Cabane explains how there are four charisma types according to the proportion of power, presence and warmth. The focused charismatic (who pays deep attention to others), the visionary charismatic (who communicates their infectious passion), the kind charismatic (who inspires with warmth and compassion) and the authoritative charismatic (who leads others with expertise and power). • Depending on your goals, you can play up your natural charisma strengths or seek to balance out your weaknesses.
• To be socially and emotionally comfortable, plan ahead and make sure you’re physically comfortable, which will remove barriers to charismatic connection.
• Use ritual and visualization as a “social warm up.” Music, meditation, and affirmations can help you prepare.
• Build presence with mindfulness. Slow down, breathe and anchor in the senses. Pause before you respond, and take conscious care of every detail of the interaction, including your verbal and nonverbal expression, appearance, and behavior.
• Howard Friedman emphasized the affective, nonverbal expressiveness component of charisma.
• Communicate with all your body and laugh openly. Speak with a dynamic, varied voice that changes in pitch, tone and expression. Use touch to bridge distance and create warmth, aware that the rules differ for men and women.
• Speak less and emote more via facial expression. If you find yourself the center of attention, relax and don’t draw attention to awkwardness, using humor to defuse tension. Use exaggerated, pantomime-like gestures and initiate contact with strangers. Finally, practice the art of “platonic flirting.”
• Introverts can be charismatic, but they must do so on their own terms.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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AbstractVisualization #ActiveVisualization #AffectiveCommunicationTest #AuthoritativeCharismatic #Cabane #Charisma #ContrastCharismatic #FoxCabane #Friedman #GretaThunberg #HowardFriedman #KindnessMeditation #MindfulAwareness #Mindfulness #MindfulnessPractice #OliviaFoxCabane #Riggio #BuildingReal-WorldCharisma #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Empathy is a nonnegotiable ingredient in genuine, connected interactions, and one easy way to create it is to give compliments. Make it authentic, meaningful to the person receiving it and specific, Avoid insincere exaggeration or vague niceties that don’t speak to a person’s values. • Learn to recognize “bids for attention” because when you “turn toward” these unspoken requests for connection and validation, you deepen and strengthen relationships of all kinds, and respond with empathy. Turning against or away from these requests does the opposite.
• Practice the art of nonviolent communication by using four simple steps: first, observe without judgment or interpretation. Second, express how you feel without blame or making anyone responsible. Third, express your needs plainly and assertively, without implicating the other person. Finally, calmly express a specific request that stems from the previous three steps, without entitlement or force. This will make any difficult or emotional conversation infinitely easier.
• Use language softeners. Softer language can help foster trust, empathy, and likeability in all social situations. Use modal verbs and qualifiers, focus on the positive, be mindful of your word choice and use a gentler, more respectful and unhurried style to communicate a friendly willingness to cooperate.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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CarrereGottman #ComplimentTips #DefuseConflict #Empathy #EverydayConversations #GenuineCompliments #Gottman #GottmanInstitute #HealthyRelationships #InsincereExaggeration #JulieGottman #LindsayLiben #MarshalRosenberg #ModalVerbs #NonviolentCommunication #NVC #PassiveAggression #RomanticRelationship #Rosenberg #LanguageSofteners #ThePowerOfEmpathy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
• Most people fail to be charming in conversations because they misunderstand what it really means to be charming. But anyone can build their charisma by practicing a few concrete skills. • Firstly, use mirroring to signal connection and understanding. Whether it’s verbally, nonverbally, or even emotionally, mirroring can build rapport between you and the other person.
• Use Albrecht’s “rule of three” to help you have more balanced conversations, i.e. ones where you do enough listening. What you say can either be a Declarative (facts or opinion being stated as facts), Questions, or Qualifiers (or "softeners"). The rule is not to have more than three declaratives in a row – instead, use a question or softener to keep things balanced.
• Similarly, the ARE method is a helpful tool to help you nail small talk easily. It stands for Anchor, Reveal, and Encourage. First, identify a shared experience, then reveal something about yourself connected to that anchor, then finally encourage the other person to share, too.
• With small talk topics, remember the acronym FORM: Family, Occupation, Recreation (hobbies and interests), and Motivation (goals).
• You can avoid overly long-winded responses by remembering the 1 minute traffic light rule. The first 30 seconds or so is a green light to speak as you will, the next 30 seconds is an orange light – watch out for waning interest – and beyond a minute is a red light, where you will likely lose your listener’s attention. Keep it short!
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AuthenticConversations #ConversationFlow #DrCarolFleming #FacialExpression #GoodConversation #KarlAlbrecht #MartyNemko #NonverbalCommunication #WilliamJames #HowToNeverHaveABadInteraction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoTalktoAnyone
• Charming people may seem to possess a mysterious quality nobody else does, but charisma is a knowable set of social and emotional behaviors that anyone can learn. • Charisma can be defined as a blend of likeability and influence. Charismatics have presence in a room, can impact and persuade others, can lead, but also know how to put people at ease, are warm, smile often, and get along with anyone.
• Practice taking up more space in a room, and examine any core beliefs that may negatively impact your posture and expression. Believe deep down that other people are not a threat and that you have something worthwhile to communicate.
• Speak openly about your passions, and when you address others, speak to their highest selves. Smile often and remember the details of what people tell you.
• Don’t interrupt, judge, complain, gossip or express negativity. Instead, express gratitude and optimism.
• Ronald Riggio broke charisma into 3 social and emotional functions: expressiveness, sensitivity to other people’s expressiveness, and self-control.
• To be more charismatic, express yourself emotionally with colorful language and dynamic facial expressions. Pay attention to people’s nonverbal expression, but don’t be afraid to ask directly about how others feel.
• To improve emotional control, slow down, breathe and become present, rather than reacting mindlessly.
• Acting and improv can help you improve social skills, and the ability to consciously wear a social mask. Pay attention to how you’re physically presenting yourself and dress with care and deliberation.
• Finally, learn to “people watch” and get into the habit of asking more questions instead of talking about yourself in conversations.
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Charisma #EmpathySkills #HenryRKravisProfessor #NaturalLeader #Riggio #RonaldERiggio #So #WhatIsCharismaAnyway? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #MassiveCharisma
• No matter who you are, it’s always possible to improve your people skills and become a more charming and more likable conversationalist. • Start by building more social awareness. If eye contact is often awkward or uncomfortable, try the triangle technique: Draw an imaginary inverted triangle on the other person’s face around their eyes and mouth. During the conversation, change your gaze every five to ten seconds.
• Be aware of proxemics as a nonverbal mode of communication. Intimate, social, personal or public space are used in different contexts and can signal intentions, with people regulating their social closeness by changing their physical proximity.
• “Perceptual positions” can help you build empathy and switch perspectives. First position is seeing the world through our eyes, second position is seeing the world through someone else’s eyes, and third position is seeing the world through a neutral observer’s eyes. You can gain insight into a situation by adopting each position in turn.
• To be a better and more active listener, paraphrase, clarify and summarize. Avoid judging, interpreting through your own perspective or interrupting, and simply listen.
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ActiveListener #ConversationalArts #EdwardHall #GoodListener #HarmoniousRelationships #JoeNavarro #KaraRonin #NLP #Paraphrasing #Proxemics #TriangleEyeContactTechnique #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills
A lot of the art of body language is, once pointed out, rather intuitive. This is because each of us is actually already fluent in its interpretation. It is merely allowing ourselves to de-emphasize the verbal for a moment to take notice of the wealth of nonverbal information that’s always flowing between people. None of it is really concealed. Rather, it’s a question of opening up to data coming in on a channel we are not taught to pay attention to. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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ConversationPartner #NervousTension #TheArtOfBodyLanguage #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
We tend to think being agreeable and accommodating are positive traits. They are, but only to a certain extent. Studies have shown that too much of either conveys a negative impression to others—precisely what you want to prevent by not asserting yourself. Thus, it seems to make more sense to assert yourself consistently and stop the need for people-pleasing. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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Agreeable #EnforcingBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #IndependentThinker #FreedomFromTheDemandsOfOthers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
• Exploring kinks, however, is never a bad thing. To do so, it’s important to understand how a kink you come across, including yours, may have arisen. There are typically five theories on the matter: adjacent brain theory, Pavlovian conditioning, pain, gross-out theory, and subjective normal theory. • Yet, knowing your kinks and how they formed is of no use if you don’t feel comfortable enough in bringing them up. You may find it easier to bring it up as a side topic purely to gauge reactions and create a safe space to talk about them.
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AbnormalSexualPractices #BDSM #Chivers #Ramachandran #JongReiss #JustinLehmiller #Kink #KinkyInterests #KinkyWomen #Lehmiller #SexualArousal #GettingKinky #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Body language has a much broader range of possible interpretations. Generally, a relaxed body takes up space, while an anxious body contracts and wants to conceal and comfort itself. There are too many specifics to list in a bullet point, but just keep in mind that the only true way to analyze body language is to first know exactly what someone is like when they are normal. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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ArmsAkimbo #BasicGestures #FacialExpressions #JoeNavarro #Navarro #ReflexResponses #Ventilating #CommunicationStartedOutNonverbally #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
Finally, it’s important to understand logical arguments—especially illogical arguments. This is how you determine the truth and validity of what is being said. We hear these every day but may not pick out their logical flaws. You can think of these as a combination of math and argumentation. There is the conditional statement (X -> Y, true), the converse statement (Y -> X, usually a flaw), the inverse statement (Not X -> Not Y, usually a flaw), and the contrapositive statement (Not Y -> Not X, true). It’s not just word games; it’s understanding the foundations upon which true and misleading arguments are built. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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CognitiveBiases #ConditionalStatements #Contrapositive #Converse #InverseStatements #LogicalFlaws #LogicalStatements #TheLawsOfLogic #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Make a woman feel safe, understood, and respected, and sex will never be an issue. Make her feel valued for the unique person she is. Play with mystery and discovery. Be genuinely interested in what makes her happy and what her needs are, rather than approaching the relationship primarily with your own needs at the forefront. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to tell her often that she’s hot stuff. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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Intimacy #SustainableRelationships #WhatActuallyTurnsWomenOn #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Obstacle 2 is a VERB mindset—playing victim, acting entitled, awaiting rescue, or blaming others. A healthier mindset is based on taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. We can do this by first noticing feelings, asking what unmet needs create that feeling, and then exploring ways to meet this need ourselves. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
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IntentionalCommunication #VictimMentality #MeetYourOwnNeeds #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Next, we come to critical thinking. Critical thinking is concerned with questioning answers rather than asking questions. It seeks to take nothing at face value and provide a three-dimensional and nuanced view of a topic or stance. Without that, you are by definition jumping to conclusions or relying on someone else’s word—an opinion without inquiry is a weak one. We can practice critical thinking through a series of questions. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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IndependentThinker #TheCriticalThinker #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Many sex tips focus on either specific techniques or exploring kinks to improve your sex life, but that’s not what really matters. Studies have shown eight specific elements of great sex: presence, connection, intimacy, communication, authenticity, bliss, exploration, and vulnerability. This is empowering because it means literally everyone has the ability to be a great lover; it just takes time, energy, and attention. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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CompleteAcceptance #Connection #Intimacy #Presence #Vulnerability #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Finally, we get right into the thick of it. How can we read and analyze people just through sight and observation? We cover two primary aspects: facial expressions and body language. It’s important to note that though many aspects have been scientifically proven (with physiological origins), we can’t say that simple observations are foolproof. It can never be definitive because there are too many external factors to take into account. But we can better understand what typical things to look for and what we can glean from them. We use two types of facial expressions: micro- and macroexpressions. Macroexpressions are larger, slower, and more obvious. They are also routinely faked and consciously created. Microexpressions are the opposite of all of those things: incredibly quick, almost unperceivable, and unconscious. Psychologist Paul Ekman identified a host of microexpressions for each of the six basic emotions and in particular has also identified microexpressions to indicate nervousness, lying, or deception. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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DetectLiars #FacialExpressions #Macroexpressions #Microexpressions #PaulEkman #TheBody #TheFace #AndClusters #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
One methodical way to seek truth and simulate curiosity is by embracing skepticism. No, it’s not about being cynical or simply refusing to believe what people tell you. Rather, it’s refusing to blindly believe what people tell you and requiring evidence and facts. In this way, a skeptic is quite similar to a scientist utilizing the scientific method. No answer is required here, and only understanding is sought. Skepticism requires slowing down your thoughts and thinking like a scientist. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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ConfirmationBias #Cynicism #IndependentThinker #IntellectualHonesty #Skeptic #Skepticism #ASkeptic’sView #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
• The purpose of all communication, whether we know it or not, is to meet our needs. We can become better communicators (and improve our relationships) if we learn to properly understand, take responsibility for, and meet our own needs before we approach others. We can also improve communication by learning to proactively meet our own needs. • We can take steps to minimize or remove the obstacles standing in the way of effective communication.
• Obstacle 1 is not knowing ourselves and projecting our own issues or unmet needs onto other people, causing conflict. We can address this by noticing when we have a strong, automatic reaction or resistance, and becoming curious about it rather than going into reactivity.
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CarlJung #IntentionalCommunication #HowToOwnYourEmotions #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Loss, rejection, uncertainty, discomfort, humiliation, loneliness, failure, panic . . . all of these can be defended against using certain mental tricks. These mechanisms are there to protect us from experiencing negative emotions. They work in the moment, but in the long run, they are ineffective since they rob us of the opportunity to face, accept, and digest inevitably negative emotions as they crop up. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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AnnaFreud #DefenseMechanisms #SigmundFreud #DefenseOfTheEgoIsANastyHabit #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
The first and most natural way to probe below the surface is through cultivating curiosity. There are five types of curiosity, each of which can be a motivation for asking questions: joyous exploration, deprivation sensitivity, stress tolerance, social curiosity, and thrill-seeking. However, curiosity will rarely come easily or naturally, especially about things we don’t have an innate interest in. So, we need to generate that same approach through other methods. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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Curiosity #GeorgeMasonUniversity #IndependentThinker #Kashdan #MentalModels #StressTolerance #ToddBKashdan #CuriousAsACat #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Finally, we come to defense of the ego. This is one of our most powerful motivators, but it is mostly unconscious. Simply put, we act to guard our ego from anything that would make us feel psychologically less. In doing so, it is so powerful that it allows us to bend reality and lie to ourselves and others—all outside of our conscious awareness. Defense mechanisms are the ways that we avoid responsibility and negative feelings, and they include denial, rationalization, projection, sublimation, regression, displacement, repression, and reaction formation, to name a few. When you know the ego is in play, it often takes front stage over other motivations. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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DefenseMechanisms #DefenseOfTheEgo #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
• At this point in the book, you may have a better understanding of how to reach your goal of mating. However, in reality, your goal is sustained mating within a relationship. How can you make sure the sex is good enough to do that? • Many sex tips focus on either specific techniques or exploring kinks to improve your sex life, but that’s not what really matters. Studies have shown eight specific elements of great sex: presence, connection, intimacy, communication, authenticity, bliss, exploration, and vulnerability. This is empowering because it means literally everyone has the ability to be a great lover; it just takes time, energy, and attention.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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DarkerFetishes #EmotionalBond #Intimacy #Kleinplatz #ResearcherPeggyKleinplatz #ActsOfTheAmorousNature #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
The last way we must struggle to keep an open mind and clarity of thought is concerning our social influences. The people around us can determine what we think and do, no matter how hard we try. This was proved in the Asch Conformity Test and the Milgram Shock Experiment. It doesn’t matter how open-minded you are; your environment can push you strongly in one way despite your best intentions. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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Asch #AschConformityExperiment #ConfirmationBias #Conformity #Milgram #SolomonAsch #StanleyMilgrams #SwarthmoreCollege #YaleUniversity #BattleSocialInfluence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Next, we move to the pyramid of needs, otherwise known as Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It states that we are all seeking various types of needs in various points in our lives; when you can observe which level other people are in, you can understand what they are seeking out and motivated by. The levels of the hierarchy are as follows: physiological fulfillment, safety, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. Of course, this model, as well as the next one, also functions based on the pleasure principle. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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AbrahamMaslow #InterpersonalRelationships #Maslow #PhysicalSafety #PhysiologicalFulfillment #Selfactualization #ThePyramidOfNeeds #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperatives. We are subconsciously drawn to excitement and arousal, fulfilling gender-specific arousal triggers, a sense of humor, and masculine and feminine voices. Research shows that while smiling and expressing happiness can make people like and trust you, when it comes to relationships and dating, this is not always the case: men find smiling, happy women most sexually attractive, but women tend to rate as more attractive those men who express pride (i.e., competence and self-assuredness) and shame (lowered gaze and awareness of social norms). At least initially, expressing happiness is theorized to convey a lack of status or dominance. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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AlecBeall #Beall #EmotionalMaturity #Selflessness #SelflessnessIsSexy #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
The four principles of Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication are: observations, feelings, needs, and requests, in that order. First make neutral observations instead of judgmental evaluations. Next, seek to explore feelings and not opinions. Be careful about using “you” statements or attributing blame, and instead take responsibility for your own experience. Next, connect your feelings with any unmet needs with the format: “I feel X because I need Y.” Finally, end with a respectful and reasonable request focused on your needs. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
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Communicate #Communication #ConflictResolutions #EffectiveCommunication #Listening #MarshallRosenbergs #NonviolentCommunication #NonviolentCommunicationFramework #ListeningAndNonviolentCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Any discussion on motivation must begin with the pleasure principle, which generally states that we move toward pleasure and move away from pain. If you think about it, this is omnipresent in our daily lives in both minuscule and huge ways. As such, this actually makes people more predictable to understand. What is the pleasure people are seeking, and what is the pain they are avoiding? It’s always there in some way. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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Motivation #PleasurePainPrinciple #PleasurePrinciple #OurInnerChildStillLives #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperatives. We are subconsciously drawn to excitement and arousal, fulfilling gender-specific arousal triggers, a sense of humor, and masculine and feminine voices. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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AlbrightCollege #Arousal #ArthurAron #Attraction #AttractiveFemale #BiologicalDifferences #DesirableTraits #DonaldDutton #EmilyNagoski #FemaleSexualArousal #GenderDifference #PhysicalArousal #ResponsiveSexualArousal #SexualArousal #DrSusanHughes #TriggersForAttractionAndArousal #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Immersing yourself in someone else’s equally valid reality is harder than it looks, and so we need to routinely test our own assumptions. We need to ask people questions and challenge our own assumptions about what they think or feel or how we attribute their actions. Psychologizing people is a way we can believe we’re listening compassionately, but actually we’re forcing our interpretation or worldview onto another person instead of genuinely listening to their experience. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
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CompassionateConcern #ConstructiveFeedback #GoodListener #HarmfulAssumptions #IntentionalCommunication #MentalModels #QuestionYourself.QuestionOthers. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Confirmation bias is also the most prominent way that we fail to simply follow the evidence. If we perform research and keep an open mind, our task is simple: just follow the arrows where they point. But all too often, we are seduced into following the wrong arrows. These include the cognitive distortions of focusing on “must” and “should”, black-and-white thinking, the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and labeling. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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ConfirmationBias #DavidDunning #DunningKrugerEffect #IndependentThinker #InterpersonalCommunications #JustinKruger #Kruger #It’SOkayToBeUncertain #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
We’ve talked about analyzing and predicting behavior based on people’s emotions and values, but what about motivation? It turns out there are a few prominent and fairly universal models of motivation that can give you a helpful framework to understand people with. When you can pinpoint what people are motivated by, you can see how everything leads back to it either directly or indirectly. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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CarlJung #CompassionateUnderstanding #Jungian #PsychologicalDiscomfort #ShadowModel #WhyBotherToUnderstandPeopleAtAll #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
Finally, we become great people-readers when we understand ourselves. We need to know what biases, expectations, values, and unconscious drives we bring to the table so we are able to see things as neutrally and objectively as possible. We must refrain from letting pessimism cloud our judgments because its often easier to arrive at the more negative conclusion when an alternate, more positive one is equally likely. To gain better insight into the progress you make as you read through this book, you need to know your proficiency at analyzing people as you start out. Simon Baron Cohen has come up with a test available on http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/ that’ll help you gauge how good you are at reading people’s emotions right now. It is also a good way to come to the realization that we are perhaps not as good at reading people as we think we are. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
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Cohen #NonverbalCues #SaschaBaronCohen #SimonBaronCohen #SocialIntelligence #TheProblemOfObjectivity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
The most glaring example of this is confirmation bias, wherein we are deaf and blind to evidence that doesn’t support what we think. In other words, we see what we want to see, and we can make a belief appear out of thin air. This is dangerous because it brings the ability to ignore reality. You eventually become entrenched in an echo chamber of reinforcing information that will lead you astray. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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BertrandRussell #ConfirmationBias #IndependentThinker #ConfirmationBiasIsSeeingWhatYouWantToProveAPre-ChosenConclusion. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
It’s important to avoid using language that triggers defensiveness. This includes things like “what’s wrong with you?” “I’m sorry you feel that way,” “whatever,” “you’re overreacting,” “you’re entitled to your opinion,” or anything using absolute terms like “always” and “never.” These are invalidating and inflammatory and will be met with resistance, emphasizing emotional barriers rather than dissolving them. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
CompassionateUnderstanding #Conflict #DefensiveResponse #DismissiveAttitude #DodgeAccountability #EmotionalBarriers #HealthyCommunication #Listen #Listening #SignsThatYourListeningCouldUseSomeWork #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
We often think we know what we want based on singular experiences, stereotypes, or simple social pressures. But we are typically very, very wrong. In fact, most of the time, we are just making educated guesses. Psychological distance is deceptive, and we often confuse what we want with what benefits us from a self-interest standpoint. In reality, what we do know is simply what we don’t want. This is not the same as wanting the opposite of what we don’t want. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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BuildingAttraction #DynamicRelationship #EastwickFinkel #PhysicalAttractiveness #PsychologicalDistance #RomanticPartner #TropeLiberman #HowToKnowWhatYouWant(YouDon’t) #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Most of the communication that takes place between people is non-verbal in nature. What people say is often a poor indicator of what they want to convey, which makes people-reading a valuable life skill with almost endless benefits. Although we’re all blessed with different aptitudes, it’s possible to develop this skill in ourselves, as long as we can be honest about where we’re starting from. • No matter which theory of model we use to help us analyze and interpret our observations, we need to consider context and how it factors in. One sign in isolation rarely leads to accurate judgments; you need to consider them in clusters. The culture people come from is another important factor that helps contextualize your analysis appropriately.
• Behavior is meaningless in a void; we need to establish a baseline so that we know how to interpret what we see. This means that you need to ascertain what someone is normally like to detect deviances from that to draw accurate interpretations of when they’re happy, excited, upset, etc.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
NormalBaseline #StereotypicalBehaviors #TelltaleSigns #ObstaclesToBecomingBrilliantAtReadingPeople #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoReadPeopleLikeaBook
An integral part of crystal-clear thinking is to be open-minded. Being open-minded means hearing evidence or an argument and not making an instant judgment. It means being able to say, “I don’t know” and resist that feeling of uncertainty. These are all difficult because we are wired to do the opposite. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
IndependentThinker #WhyArePeopleSoClosed-Minded? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Active listening techniques help us to absorb, understand, remember, and respond to what we’re told. This includes non-judgment, reflection, paying attention, seeking clarification, summarizing, and possibly sharing your own experience.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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ConversationSkills #ActiveListeningIsHard.ItTakesEffort. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
A study specified the traits that predicted the most relationship success if similar: agreeableness and emotional stability. Conventional wisdom says that opposites attract, but for successful long-term partnerships, shared values and similarity in interest, communication, preferences, etc. are usually more valuable. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Agreeableness #Conscientiousness #EmotionalStability #Fraley #HudsonFraley #Kaufman #LoveMayBeLessImportantThanHowSimilarYouAreToYourMate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Most of the communication that takes place between people is non-verbal in nature. What people say is often a poor indicator of what they want to convey, which makes people-reading a valuable life skill with almost endless benefits. Although we’re all blessed with different aptitudes, it’s possible to develop this skill in ourselves, as long as we can be honest about where we’re starting from. No matter which theory of model we use to help us analyze and interpret our observations, we need to consider context and how it factors in. One sign in isolation rarely leads to accurate judgments; you need to consider them in clusters. The culture people come from is another important factor that helps contextualize your analysis appropriately. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/readpeopleking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
ReadPeopleLikeaBook #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
In the Imago framework, we seek to remove emotional barriers to connection by communicating. The Sender and the Receiver takes turns sharing their message.The Receiver listens by mirroring, validating, and communicating empathy as the Sender speaks. Then, they change places. The key is to be patient, don’t interrupt, and avoid trying to be the Sender when you should be acting as the Receiver. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
BodyLanguage #DrHarvilleHendrix #DrHelenHunt #EffectiveCommunication #EmotionalBarriers #EmpatheticUnderstanding #Empathy #Imago #Validate #WhatToSayAndHowToSayIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Your perception is biased. Understanding the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps are called cognitive biases. They seek to create a story out of as little information as possible, to avoid uncertainty. Battling cognitive biases involves telling stories in reverse, slowing down, and shifting your focus to questions instead of declaratory statements. Your memories are wrong. No matter how real and accurate they sometimes feel, a disturbing fact is that memories and false memories end up being indistinguishable to your brain. Factors as small as word choice or pointed questions can distort memories. Unfortunately, we depend on these memories to form our world views and perspectives.
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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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AbsoluteTruth #AnneliesVredeveldt #ChristopherFrench #Coan #EyewitnessTestimony #FalseMemory #HugoMunsterbergs #IndependentThinker #Munsterbergs #Neufel #JuliaShaw #Scheck #Shaw #Vredeveldt #WorkToImproveYourPerception #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
The triangular theory of love states that the most successful relationships score well on all three metrics: attraction, intimacy, and commitment. Happy couples need to have strong overlap and match in their “triangles” or else work to strengthen their weak points. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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Commitment #ConsciousChoices #Intimacy #IntimacyPassionCommitment #Passion #PhysicalAttraction #RobertSternberg #Sternberg #SuccessfulPartnerships #SuccessfulRelationship #TriangularTheory #WhenYouSayYou’ReInLoveWithSomeone #WhatDoYouMean? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Practice conversational patience, listen to others, and give them the space to be as they are. In other words, cut out the ego! You can validate others by asking questions every time you’re tempted to jump in and hog attention. Relax, slow down, and have the self-discipline and compassion to let the conversation unfolds as it will, rather than as you think it should. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
GenuineHumility #InstantGratification #IntentionalCommunication #TerribleListeners #ListeningWellMeansPuttingYourOwnNeedsAndPerspectivesOnTheBackBurner #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Your perception is biased. Understanding the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps are called cognitive biases. They seek to create a story out of as little information as possible, to avoid uncertainty. Battling cognitive biases involves telling stories in reverse, slowing down, and shifting your focus to questions instead of declaratory statements. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
AvailabilityHeuristic #CognitiveBias #GamblersFallacy #IndependentThinker #Postpurchase #PerceptionIsBiased #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Love is what most of us marry for, but arranged marriages have been around for a very long time. In fact, what most of us would consider romantic love is a luxury that is only a few hundred years old. Arranged marriages work precisely because love is placed as a low priority. Instead, commitment, problem-solving, and lowered expectations take the forefront and create conditions that allow for a harmonious relationship to first blossom, which allows love to follow.
Another factor that appears to be more important than love in relationships is similarity. Studies have shown that similarity is more important because people don’t tend to change, and over time, you’re just left with conflicting values and worldviews.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
ArrangedMarriages #Attraction #ConflictSkills #ElaineHatfield #Epstein #FrancineKaye #HappyCouples #HappyLife #DrRobertEpstein #Hatfield #HealthierMarriages #ProximityEffect #Rajasthan #Sprecher #SusanSprecher #WesternCultures #WesternMarriages #LoveIsAllThatMatters... #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Humility is the virtue that will allow you to quickly and sincerely own up to mistakes. This takes courage and maturity. Make sure any apologies show remorse, repentance, and full responsibility, as well as explain what went wrong, what you will do to fix it, and a request for forgiveness. Accept any response to your apology with grace. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
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Communication #DefensiveReaction #EffectiveApology #FauxApology #HeartfeltApology #IntentionalCommunication #Lewicki #Lount #RobertLountJr #RoyLewicki #BethPolin #Humility:TheRarestVirtue #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Your perspective isn’t reality. It represents your subjective and unique worldview, but it’s not objective, it’s not reality, and it is destined to be skewed in terms of your experiences. Some experiences are solidified in what are known as schemas and heuristics, which are the frameworks you use to organize and understand the world. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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Heuristic #IndependentThinker #JeanPiaget #MentalGuidelines #Piaget #Schema #PerspectiveIsn’tReality #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
• Dr. Jack Schafer’s friendship formula states that people build connections when they are in proximity to one another, when their interactions are frequent and long in duration, and when both parties get their needs met. • Schafer’s theory can be applied to flirting, especially in contexts where the three-part flirting process wouldn’t be appropriate.
• Whichever approach you use (short-term flirting or longer-term connection-building) remember to go step by step, building gradually on pervious connection, and adjust your approach carefully based on how you’re being received.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Attraction #AutomaticAssessments #BuildingAttraction #DrJackSchafer #FacialExpressions #NicolasGuéguen #PhysicalStrength #PickupLines #Posture #ProximityFrequencyDuration #Schafer #SexualAttractiveness #YogaCalisthenicsSports #AWordOnFirstImpressions—AndWalkingTheWalk #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
With curiosity, we stay open-minded and humble, and approach others in a spirit of opportunity, respect, and the desire to learn. Express genuine interest in someone by asking open-ended questions and really listening to the answers. Don’t assume, let people speak, and check your comprehension by paraphrasing.
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Communication #Curiosity #SuccessfulCommunication #ValueJudgments #StayCurious #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
• Usually, your brain, instincts, gut feelings, emotions, and hunches are all liars (usually). They aren’t doing it on purpose, but they inherently function by jumping to conclusions, saving time, conserving energy, and valuing speed over accuracy. Their goal is to function on less information, and the less of it, the better. Not quite crystal-clear thinking. • Your feelings and emotions can overpower you and completely color your thinking. But that’s confusing feelings for facts. They are entirely separate things. Reality is in fact neutral.
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AutonomousThinkers #EmotionalReasoning #IndependentThinker #FreedomFromIllusionsOfReality #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
the art of getting the attention of the opposite sex Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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ApproachStage #AttractionPlay #Fisher #FisherByrne #HumanInteraction #MentalAttraction #Synchronize #TimothyPerper #AllAboutFlirting #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
• Empathy is the ability to understand and feel into someone else’s experience, as well as take action to help them. There are three types—cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. • First gain cognitive empathy by switches perspectives, listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand. Find emotional empathy by addressing their higher natures and assuming the best of them, or find common ground. Finally offer compassionate empathy by taking action to enhance their wellbeing.
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Attenborough #CognitiveEmpathy #CompassionateEmpathy #DavidAttenborough #EmotionalEmpathy #Empathy #IntentionalCommunication #NonverbalCommunication #ButWhatAboutEmpathy? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
Many famous independent thinkers throughout history shed light on how we might develop the capacity in ourselves. Socrates teaches us the power of asking questions and uncovering our assumptions by taking nothing for granted. Niall Ferguson teaches us about counterfactual thinking, and imagining answers to the question “what if?”, and Nietzsche teaches us the value of perspective-switching to enrich our perception of the world. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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Ferguson #FriedrichNietzsche #IndependentThinker #NiallFerguson #Nietzsche #Socrates #WhatIndependentThinkingActuallyLooksLike #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheIndependentThinker
Finally, the deeper the love, the deeper the hate. Love and hate are closer than you think because they are both intense emotions. Work with love and hate in your own “chase” by leading with your polarizing attributes rather than aiming to please everyone in the boring middle. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
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Attraction #IntenseEmotions #JinXiang #OkCupid #Xiang #TheDeeperTheLove #TheDeeperTheHate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Better communication skills stem from a healthy mindset and a good attitude toward relationships in general. We can practice and communicate self-differentiation by knowing and taking responsibility for communicating our own needs. Then we can establish boundaries and gently but firmly assert them. Boundaries are not rules for others’ behavior, but for ours. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing
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Assertiveness #AssertivePerson #GenuineAssertiveness #GoodBoundaries #HealthyBoundary #IntentionalCommunication #Selfdifferentiation #TheGentlePowerOfAssertiveness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
The fundamentals of critical thought include learning to take in information (especially reading) critically, dropping the ego so that you don’t get stuck in any one perspective or opinion, having the bravery to be disliked for being different, and maintaining an open and receptive rather than closed mind. Conventional thinkers differ from independent thinkers in their approach to reality itself, and how they see the function of thinking. For the former, it’s to bolster the ego. For the latter, it’s for the thrill of encountering reality directly. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz
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ComfortZone #ContrarianThinker #ConventionalThinkers #CriticalReading #IndependentThinker #IndependentIsNotTheSameAsContrarian #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Most of us have been faced with being rejected and told that we are only thought of as friends and not romantic partners. Is there a way to deal with this? For females, perhaps. Studies have shown that females do indeed see males platonically, but males do not do the same for females. Can males and females be only platonic friends? Yes, but it will usually be the female’s choice. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Bleskerechek #Jonason #Jung #Just #Klein #Miranda #Parker #PlatonicFriends #Taylor #HumansWantWhatWeCan’tHave #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Finally, master self-differentiation and be crystal clear on thoughts versus feelings, and your thoughts and feelings versus those of others. Defuse conflict by taking responsibility for your perspective while seeing the other persons for what it is. Most important of all, have the maturity to maintain intimacy with others despite differences in opinion. Routinely ask what is your “business” versus theirs and what is observation versus evaluation. Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
• Independent thinkers can think logically, clearly and autonomously, outside the pressures of their cultures, upbringings, past experiences or historical period. They are conscious and aware, rather than reactive and automatic, and can truly think (and experience) for themselves. • Cultivating independent thought takes time and effort. The first stage is to assemble a patchwork identity as an independent thinker, and mimic others we see around us. The second stage is to gradually develop trust in our own perceptions and intellectual faculties, while occasionally deferring to convention. The final step is truly independent thought. This free, adventurous, creative, and proactive thought originates purely within us. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
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ConventionalThinkers #CriticalThinker #CulturalIdeals #DeepestCoreValues #IndependentThinker #WhatDoesItReallyMeanToBeAnIndependentThinker? #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IndependentThinker
In every interaction, consciously choose to address the other persons highest self, or at least their most vulnerable and human self. Acknowledge emotional content and not just superficial details. Have compassion, awareness, and genuine curiosity for other peoples different perspectives. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
The chase is something we subconsciously do, despite outwardly decrying having to play dating games. Mostly, the chase has to do with the appeal and addictiveness of intermittent rewards and understanding why human nature works this way. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Attraction #BFSkinner #OperantConditioning #RomanticInterest #Skinner #The“Chase” #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
Breaking rules can be attractive since it conveys confidence and power and communicates that you act from your own internal integrity, which is sexy! Never violate peoples boundaries, however, and cause any actual harm. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
In conflict, try to imagine a neutral observer and the “third story” theyd tell so you can identify a set of facts about the situation that both parties can agree on. Harmonious relationships begin when we abandon our egoistic need to be right.
Our attitude toward new information determines the extent of our learning. If we are “soldiers” who seek only to defend the beliefs we already have, we don’t grow or learn. But as “scouts” we learn for its own sake, reaching out in curiosity and receptivity. We aren’t afraid of the truth; instead we actively seek to learn from it and improve ourselves. We all have a native perspective, a set of assumptions, a non-neutral attitude and even unconscious bias. Yet, we all believe that we are the unbiased ones who look at everything objectively and without letting our emotions cloud our judgement. We only develop as people when we become conscious of these fallacies—and conscious of our ability to choose something different. Part of critical thinking is deliberately seeking out evidence against our chosen beliefs, rather than only seeking data that confirms them. Look for reputable sources and inform yourself about various things that are important to you. Inevitably, you’ll discover that some of your beliefs were mistaken or simply naïve, but that is a surefire sign of growth as well. If all else fails, abide by Darwin’s Golden Rule of trying to poke holes in your own argument. After all, it’s better if you do it rather than someone else. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ConfirmationBias #MentalBlock #TheBlockOfClose-MindednessConcluded #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ThinkwithIntention
You may appear more attractive when people are unsure of your feelings for them, so dont be too transparent too early on. Give compliments, but let their meaning be ambiguous. Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee). Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Assume noble intent and that people are doing their best. This will put you in a proactive, generous, and optimistic frame of mind that will inspire the best from others and keep you open to solutions and possibilities. Be kind and seek the moral high ground just because! Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
nobleintent #nobleintentions #positiveintent #AssumePeopleAreDoingTheirBest #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ThinkwithIntention #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Closed-mindedness is failing to be aware of the mental perspective we inhabit—and so failing to see that we can and often should step outside of it. This traps us into thinking that we know everything, because what weve decided in our minds is the only possible outcome. When things dont turn out the way we expect, it makes us less compassionate toward ourselves and prevents personal growth. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
When we think about trust, one of the first places our minds will go is to eye contact. Whatever the reality, if you aren’t able to use eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy. Thus, eye contact has been found to cause people to attribute positive traits to you and see you as more intelligent and more trustworthy. But how do we wield eye contact without creeping people out or appearing untrustworthy? The thin line appears to be around three seconds of eye contact at a time, with sufficient rest between gazes. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Argyle #Binetti #CognitiveControlProcesses #DohertySneddon #EyeContact #GazeAversion #Hanson #Kajimura #Kressler #Kreysa #neurolinguisticprogramming #Nomura #Phelps #Sushelsky #Tessler #Watt #Wiseman #EyeContact #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
• Everyone can learn to be better at communication, listening, and being heard. This can improve every kind of relationship, as well as help you deal with difficult people and conflict. • Cultivating empathetic, meaningful, and genuine connections with others means being aware of the barriers to that connection and committing to removing them. • One significant obstacle is the mindset that positions others as enemies or adversaries rather than collaborators on the same team. A healthier approach is “it’s you and me versus the problem.” Disagreement and difference are not necessarily a threat if both parties are dedicated to working together. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Communication #CooperativeMindset #UnmetNeeds #TheBiggestObstacleToRealCommunication #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #IntentionalCommunication
An intolerance for the inevitable hard work of self-improvement sometimes comes down to inappropriate expectations. We need to be honest and realistic in what we expect from life, so that we don’t give up too easily or assume that we’re not talented enough to achieve our dreams. The right way is seldom the easy way. When we understand that growth and evolution can be difficult, we become more resilient and succeed sooner. We must also accept that the good life is never without its share of difficulties. The easy life is a myth, and no matter who you are, you’ll need to make sacrifices before you can see the results you desire. These sacrifices are not an obstacle to what you want, but the way toward your goals. We can cultivate a success mindset by understanding that short-term gratification can never compare to the satisfaction of achieving our goals in the long-term. You can also apply the uncover, remove, reduce, and transform rule to identify this fixed mindset, patiently replacing it with a willingness to tolerate discomfort, reducing the things we don’t need to tolerate, and finally transforming the intolerance for discomfort into a tolerance for only the right discomforts. Aside from mindsets and retraining your beliefs, one way to have more self-discipline is to control and curate your environment. This is when we want to optimize our default decisions for self-discipline; in other words, make it easy to be good, and make it difficult to be bad. This is completely within your control. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
Many animals don’t have verbal languages. This means they must communicate their attraction, often forcefully, through their movements and actions. The human equivalent is how we communicate nonverbally with our body language, eye contact, and touching. There are different types of attractive body language for each gender. They do, however, depend on the factors of availability and fertility. Simply put, the more available you appear, the more attractive you will be, and the more fertile (this varies by gender) you appear, the more attractive you will be. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
BarbaraPease #BodyLanguage #EngineeringAttraction #EyeContact #TraditionalGenderRoles #UnattractivePeople #UnconsciousMessages #Don’tSayAWord #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
“Laziness” often masks the mental block of being unable to tolerate discomfort, or the belief that success shouldnt be challenging, difficult or take too long. Its not that “lazy” people are incapable of handling the hardships one needs to cope with for success; theyve simply convinced themselves that they shouldnt have to, and so they never try. This is just another form of a fixed mindset and self-delusion which says we just dont have what it takes to be successful because were “lazy.” With self-discipline and hard work, we achieve what we set out to. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
Human beings tend to want the same things in their mates—attractiveness, resources, and emotional connection—but people will rank the relative importance of these differently depending on their sex and their life stage. A good dating strategy takes this into account and finds a workable overlap. Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
Socrates was rather a know-it-all, or at least that’s how he would have appeared according to the Socratic Method. It was a technique of questioning a stance or opinion in a way to shed light on what was known and what gaps in knowledge existed. There are six types of Socratic questions: conceptual clarification, probing assumptions, probing rationale and reasons, questioning viewpoints, probing implications, and questioning the question itself. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
clarificationquestions #effectiveline #greatthinkers #intellectualhumility #Plato #Socrates #SocraticMethod #SocratestheKnow-It-All #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
To live with more integrity and honesty, we need to acknowledge that growth and comfort are mutually exclusive. Can we accept all that we are, even the dark and unwanted parts of ourselves? We must, because that is the only way we can ever improve. Pain, failure, mistakes; all of these are a part of life and we must not run away from them, because life is a package deal. The good life is never lived in a state of comfort devoid of hardships. When we can embrace our vulnerabilities with honesty and self-compassion, we can empower ourselves to act with more focused intention—and live the life we want. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
comfortzones #GrowthAndComfort:TwoMutuallyExclusiveValues #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Another reason for the instinct to apologize is to avoid conflict. Conflict is tense and uncomfortable, but it is the essence of assertiveness. Becoming comfortable with it by changing your vocabulary to apologize less is an important step. How do you apologize when you actually should? Include one of the six elements articulated by Beth Polin and make sure to actually take responsibility and not deflect or blame others. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AssertivePeople #DefenseMechanism #DrBethPolin #EasternKentuckyUniversity #ProperApology #DiscoverWhatPeopleReallyWant #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Waisman’s four steps are an elaboration on the classic sociobiological theory of attraction. They inform us as to exactly what we are looking for in a way that fuses sociobiological theory with modern dating. The four attractions are physical, status, emotion, and logic. It is a sequence you must pass through for a deep and fulfilling relationship, although we know many that only satisfied two or three factors in their own relationships. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
AttractionFactors #EmotionalSupport #EricWaisman #FriendZone #GenderRoles #InnateBiologicalPreferences #PhysicalAppearance #PhysicalAttractiveness #FourSequentialStepsToAttraction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction
We know self-delusion is at play if we recognize defense mechanisms, which develop to protect our ego from uncomfortable truths. Nobody can tackle our defense mechanisms but us. There are many common mechanisms such as denial, repression, regression, projection, displacement, etc. Each can be identified through its own unique indicators, but the thing unifying them all is that they allow us to stay in a comfortable bubble where we can get away with not challenging ourselves enough to experience substantial growth. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
Albert Einstein is known for many things, but his thinking method of using thought experiments helped him discover the theory of relativity. It is a hypothetical situation, played out to the very end, as if it were reality. It allows you to test and study things that would otherwise be physically impossible, and make new discoveries therefrom. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
quantumphysicstheories #Einstein #ErwinSchrödinger #IsaacNewton #Maxwell #Schrodinger #Schrödinger #EinsteinAnd“WhatIf?” #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Ultimately, maintaining healthy boundaries is a task that we have to persist with throughout our lives. As we discover new and better ways to communicate, develop new values and priorities, or enter relationships with different sets of people, the way we enforce our boundaries must adapt. Though maintaining healthy boundaries can sometimes come with conflict and unpleasantness, the many benefits outweigh these minor cons.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
bodylanguage #developmentaldisorders #dynamicequilibrium #eyecontact #healthyboundaries #mentalhealthissues #perfectboundary #socialinteractions #speechimpediments #CautiouslyPrioritizingOthersAgain #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Apologizing is the opposite of assertiveness—at least when you do it out of instinct like many of us are prone to do. Over-apologizing, however, does give a peek into how you view yourself and the patterns youve been exposed to. We are all products of our past experiences, and many have told us that apologies and not making waves is the best way to get through life unscathed. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
The classic sociobiological theory of attraction states that we are nothing but animals when it comes to attraction. Worse yet, most of what we are attracted to is subconscious and not fully understood. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
Self-delusion is the biggest mental block to our full and honest awareness. All of us delude ourselves about reality to some extent; it is nothing to be ashamed of. However, self-deception has many negative consequences for our growth as individuals, and we must identify what it is about our lives that we have chosen to blind ourselves to, in order to avoid ignoring opportunities to work on our flaws. We know self-delusion is at play if we recognize defense mechanisms, which develop to protect our ego from uncomfortable truths. Nobody can tackle our defense mechanisms but us. There are many common mechanisms such as denial, repression, regression, projection, displacement, etc. Each can be identified through its own unique indicators, but the thing unifying them all is that they allow us to stay in a comfortable bubble where we can get away with not challenging ourselves enough to experience substantial growth. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
DefenseMechanism #GrowthMindset #HighExpectations #InternalLocus #PersonalDevelopment #PersonalResponsibility #SelfDelusion #TheBlockOfSelf-Deception #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
René Descartes is sometimes known as the father of modern philosophy, and sometimes as the father of the modern Scientific Method. It was his usage of doubt as a tool that led to his significance in both fields. He believed that deduction and direct observation was the only path to truth, and thus everything contained a degree of uncertainty which was not tested.
So far, we have primarily focused on the way others violate our boundaries. However, we also inevitably violate boundaries that others have. This does not necessarily make us toxic or bad individuals, but it helps to recognize our faulty behavioral patterns so that we can fix them and have healthier relationships. Identifying our own mistakes can be hard, but some examples of pushing others’ boundaries might be engaging in gossip, arriving excessively late to a meeting, sharing secrets with others despite being told not to, etc. Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee). Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BoundaryIssues #BoundaryViolations #DysfunctionalFamilyRelationships #EarlyChildhoodExperiences #GoodBoundaries #HealthyBoundary #It’SNotYourTurn #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #EstablishingBoundaries
Though riddles are often framed in relatively simple words, they can be incredibly complex, utilizing many different but important modes of thinking. When faced with a tricky problem, asking yourself the right questions can often be the key to solving them. These include analyzing whether you’ve identified the problem correctly, what a solution might look like, whether the tools you’re using to solve the issue are actually correct, etc. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
logicalreasoning #RiddleThinkingApplied #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Assertive communication is standing up for yourself, being clear and direct when sharing your thoughts and feelings, and protecting your rights without taking away the rights of other people. Assertive communication is a product of high self-esteem and doesn’t come naturally to people who haven’t been taught to respect themselves and others and to value themselves on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. When you seek to control only yourself, you are assertive; when you seek to control others, you become aggressive. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Aggressive #AggressiveCommunicator #AssertiveCommunicator #Assertiveness #AssertiveStyle #PassiveCommunicator #RandyJPetersonProfessor #AssertiveCommunicationStyle #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #EverydayAssertiveness
When you smother someone, you hem in their independence and make it seem as if you have nothing better to do with your time. You are perceived as someone with low social value and even less sexual attraction. There’s no mystery or compelling reason for others to be interested in you because you’ve already presented them with everything they could want from you (we’ll be looking at this principle in more detail later in the book). Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
EngineeringAttraction #HumanPsychology #LowSocialValue #MaterValue #NaturalFlirts #RomanticConnections #SexualAttraction #SocialButterflies #SocialConfidence #UnconsciousTriggers #TooMuch #TooEager #TooAvailable #AllTooSoon. #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Just like we have empathetic communication, there’s also empathetic listening. Empathetic listening is very similar to active listening, wherein all of your focus is devoted solely to the speaker. There are a few different types of empathetic listening, such as making space, reflecting, and reacting. When you make space, you suspend your own ego and “make space” for the message that is being delivered through verbal and non-verbal cues. Things like making eye contact and having a receptive body language are all examples of making space. When we reflect, we’re mirroring what someone has told us right back at them. This is the best and easiest way to make someone feel heard and understood because it gives them proof that you’ve been listening throughout. Try to keep your own insights out of the equation when reflecting and simply focus on projecting the same emotions and words that are being expressed to you. Reacting is the most common form of listening, but it’s also the one where we should exercise the most caution. Reactions need not be comprehensive or something major. They can be subtle, like when we nod our heads along with the speaker. Like with reflecting, our reactions shouldn’t be about our own viewpoints, but rather indications that we’ve understood those of the other person. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
communicationstyle #emotionalimpact #empatheticlistening #facialexpression #feelingwords #genuineattentiveness #genuineempathy #goodcommunicator #openbodylanguage #reflecting #EmpatheticListening-MakingSpace #Reflecting #AndReacting #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Elon Musk and his usage of first principles thinking is all about rejecting what is thought to be fact. He describes a process where you identify your assumptions in the face of solving a problem, you break them down, and then you solve the problem by breaking down old barriers. Once you realize that truth is not as set in stone as you think it is, possibilities begin to unfold. Reinvent the wheel—because maybe you can find a better one. Charles Darwin lived his remarkable life according to one simple golden rule: immersing yourself in the world of your opposition and contrary opinions. This is how you can legitimately test the truth of your opinions or arguments. It is the ultimate example of avoiding confirmation bias. He turns his doubts and skepticism onto himself rather than others, which is the far more normal course of action.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
confirmationbias #Darwin #DavidQuammen #GoldenRule #CharlesDarwin #HMSBeagle #Hyperloop #intellectualhonesty #intellectualhumility #investigativeprocess #naturalintelligence #TheGeniusOfElonMuskAndCharlesDarwin #ClearThinking #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
There are generally four styles of communication: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. You can guess which one is the best to shoot for. Assertive communication is standing up for yourself, being clear and direct when sharing your thoughts and feelings, and protecting your rights without taking away the rights of other people. Assertive communication is a product of high self-esteem and doesn’t come naturally to people who haven’t been taught to respect themselves and others and to value themselves on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. When you seek to control only yourself, you are assertive; when you seek to control others, you become aggressive.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
aggressivecommunicationstyle #CarlBenedict #CommunicationStyle #passivecommunicationstyle #UnderstandingYourCommunicationPatterns #EverydayAssertiveness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
The key to validating someone effectively is being able to communicate empathetically. But what is communication, really? Essentially it is the passing of a message between a sender and a recipient. The message must be framed in a way that is understandable to the recipient. One of the key elements of communicating successfully is that the speaker must have empathy. Thus, to ensure that your words are communicated effectively, you must be empathetic, which means you must make an effort to understand the recipient and the best ways to cater your message to them. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
blindspots #communicationprocess #communicationstyle #empatheticcommunication #empathiccommunication #Empathy #HowWeCanShowValidationThroughEmpathy #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Some of the greatest thinkers of human history have shared many similar opinions on how to think. That’s no coincidence, and I’ll trust them, especially when there is a consensus. Clear thinking starts with deconstructing what you think you know, understanding that you know nothing, and then building up from there. It’s tough and tedious, to say the least. Elon Musk and his usage of first principles thinking is all about rejecting what is thought to be fact. He describes a process where you identify your assumptions in the face of solving a problem, you break them down, and then you solve the problem by breaking down old barriers. Once you realize that truth is not as set in stone as you think it is, possibilities begin to unfold. Reinvent the wheel—because maybe you can find a better one.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
efficientsolution #ElonMusk #inherentassumptions #intellectuallaziness #Musk #SpaceX #TheArtofClearThinking #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Though riddles are often framed in relatively simple words, they can be incredibly complex, utilizing many different but important modes of thinking. When faced with a tricky problem, asking yourself the right questions can often be the key to solving them. These include analyzing whether you’ve identified the problem correctly, what a solution might look like, whether the tools you’re using to solve the issue are actually correct, etc. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
criticalthinker #criticalanalyticalskills #decisionprocess #intellectualtools #mentalschemas #mentaltools #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #UsingRiddles
Lastly, our understanding is only worth something when we can communicate it well. Be careful in the verbal and non-verbal cues you send out. Respect boundaries when they’re asserted and try to remember the things that are shared with you. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
carefullanguage #deliberateaction #emotionalvalidation #empathy #inspireothers #respectboundaries #sixstepvalidationprocess #thoughtfulquestions #understandingperson #ChooseCompassionateAndCarefulLanguage #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Unfortunately, some people will continue to disrespect your boundaries despite being warned repeatedly. In such cases, you might have to cut contact either temporarily or permanently, even if these are people who you value and love dearly. By refusing to respect your boundaries, they are essentially telling you that your well-being does not matter to them. These are not the kinds of people you need in your life, anyway, and letting them go can often be the easiest and best option.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Boundary #EstablishingBoundaries #ToxicPeople #DealingWithRepeatBoundaryOffenders #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Boundaries become important very quickly to enforce, both to assert your rights and to defend against those who would seek to take advantage of you. Toxic takers are the epitome of those who would seek to take advantage of you, and they come in many forms of selfishness and non-reciprocation.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
TwoWaysToIDAndDealWithToxicTakers #ToxicTakers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #EverydayAssertiveness
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With a growth mindset, we see failure as the gift it is: an opportunity to learn and prove that we are evolving and changing. Fixed mindsets teach us that failures are something to be scared of, and to avoid because they are a damning indictment of us as individuals. We view them as judgments rather than as merely part of the process of learning. However, growth mindsets help us see failures in a positive light because they represent the potential to be better. We can develop a growth mindset by abandoning grand goals somewhere off in the distance and instead focus on tiny, consistent daily habits that bring us closer and closer to excellence. Having a growth mindset involves valuing the process over the outcome, letting go of outlandish expectations for ourselves, accepting our shortcomings, and prioritizing learning to improve above all else. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
TheGiftOfFailing #GrowthMindset #FixedMindset #Failure #ThinkwithIntention #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
The Gift Of Failing ,Growth Mindset,Fixed Mindset,Failure,Think with Intention,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The last way we must struggle to keep an open mind and clarity of thought is in relation to our social influences. The people around us can determine what we think and do, no matter how hard we try. This was proved in the Asch Conformity Test and the Milgram Shock Experiment. It doesn’t matter how open-minded you are, your environment has the ability to push you strongly in one way despite your best intentions. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Authority #Milgram #Obedience #StanleyMilgram’SElectricalShockExperiment #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Authority,Milgram,Obedience,Stanley Milgram’S Electrical Shock Experiment,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
This last set consists of language-based riddles - Focus carefully on the words used to form them. In some states, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Like previous riddles, focus on how the riddle attempts to deceive you. Instead of wondering why picturing men with wooden legs is banned in some states, think of alternative interpretations.
Lastly, a cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for just three nights, and then leaves on Friday. How?
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Language-BasedRiddles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Riddles #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Language-Based Riddles,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Riddles,Learn to Think Using Riddles,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Understand that the best creative thinking will draw upon different fields and disciplines. What is novel is one discipline is natural and worn in another. One of the best examples of this is Einstein’s combinatory play, which interweaves logical and creative thought—as a mental break, or through combining the two thought processes. Einstein’s other contribution to creative thinking is in his usage of thought experiments and playing out hypotheticals in detail to their logical conclusion. To get more creative, think more plainly. It sounds counterintuitive, but simple thoughts underlie complex processes and solutions. Thinking more basically allows you to refocus on what matters and escape what is known as functional fixedness. When we start to view goals and concepts in isolation and free of contextual constraints, we are freed.
Finally, try out an idea box. It’s a methodical way for you to rapidly generate a massive amount of ideas geared toward the exact problem you want to solve. It’s similar to the SCAMPER method because it very clearly and visually encourages force fitting. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AlbertEinstein #Clement #Einstein #Gedankenexperiments #IsaacNewton #McCaffrey #SCAMPER #TomMcCaffrey #ToGetMoreCreative #ThinkMorePlainly #PracticalIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Albert Einstein,Clement,Einstein,Gedankenexperiments,Isaac Newton,McCaffrey,SCAMPER,Tom McCaffrey,To Get More Creative, Think More Plainly,Practical Intelligence,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
People want positivity. This might be the surprising part: a positive mood spreads impressively as a result of emotional contagion. People just like being around positive and happy people because it makes them feel the same. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
behavior #Cacioppo #DrChristakis #GroupBehavior #HFowler #Levy #Nail #Petty #Schachter #SigalGBarsade #YaleUniversity #SocialIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
behavior,Cacioppo,Dr Christakis,Group Behavior,H Fowler,Levy,Nail,Petty,Schachter,Sigal G Barsade,Yale University,Social Intelligence,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Cultivating empathy in ourselves is something all of us should endeavor to do. There are three main steps to do this. First, we must be open-minded. Second, we must learn to walk in other people’s shoes. Third, we must communicate our acceptance of their experience in an appropriate manner. Being open-minded is a commonly exalted virtue that many of us can struggle with. We tend to have difficulties understanding the ways different people perceive the world and express emotions when these conflict with our own views. The best way to remedy this is to simply talk to people from different backgrounds and viewpoints. Expose yourself to different discourses and ways of understanding things. Travel far and wide if you can, and familiarize yourself with cultures where things are done differently from your own. Walking in someone else’s shoes requires that we pay as close attention to them as possible so that we can understand where they’re coming from and what influences are at play. We must suspend our own views and see the way from the other’s lens. A great way to inculcate this skill is to simply read fiction. This puts you into the mind of a character that is not you, and you get to observe how they describe events, emotions, thoughts, etc. Lastly, our understanding is only worth something when we can communicate it well. Be careful in the verbal and non-verbal cues you send out. Respect boundaries when they’re asserted and try to remember the things that are shared with you. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Empathy #humility #CultivatingEmpathyInOurselves #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Empathy,humility,Cultivating Empathy In Ourselves,Listen Hear Validate,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
It is obvious that we will make mistakes in our attempts to build healthy boundaries. However, knowing some of the common ones might help you avoid them. These include being too aggressive, not being mindful of your timing, being overly concerned with the emotions of others at the expense of your own, and being too dramatic by having long, drawn-out conversations. Remember that all you need to do is communicate a boundary using “I” statements.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
5MisstepsToAvoidWhenSettingBoundaries #EstablishingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
5 Missteps To Avoid When Setting Boundaries,Establishing Boundaries,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Stories can also be the basis for an inside joke. When you think about it, an inside joke is something that comes up multiple times with the same person and evokes a positive emotion. It’s the same topic brought up in a different context. Thus, you just need to call back to a story through a conversation and there’s a good chance it will stick as a “Remember when we talked about…” moment. The more you use it, the more a unique bond is created between only the two of you. Improving your storytelling ability is important, but what about eliciting stories from others? You can phrase your questions carefully to ask for stories rather than answers from people, which is a simple way to make conversation easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved. There are ways to make people open up to you and want to keep gabbing. Remember the lesson we learned with the 1:1:1 method in pinpointing the emotions that people are trying to evoke. To amplify this, you can pin the tail on the donkey and strategically add on to people’s stories. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Callback #Conversation #WittyBanter #ImproveYourStorytellingWithInsideJokesAndGoodQuestions #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching
Callback,Conversation,Witty Banter,Improve Your Storytelling With Inside Jokes And Good Questions,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching
The story spine is more or less the formula for every movie that exists. It’s a simple framework that you can use in your everyday stories and conversations, because it teaches you what emotional beats exist in a story. There is the status quo, the event that kicks things off, the set of consequences for changing the status quo, the climax or resolution, and then what happens after the fact. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
JakeSully #KevinAdams #Sully #SynergyTheater #WittyBanter #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheStorySpine #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Jake Sully,Kevin Adams,Sully,Synergy Theater,Witty Banter,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,The Story Spine,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
We can adopt a growth mindset and engage our conscious will to choose the self and the life we want, rather than passively accept the status quo. We tell ourselves that with the right amount of effort and the correct approach, we can be the person we want to be. If we aren’t good at something, enough practice will help us improve and eventually master that activity. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
TheGrowthMindset #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
The Growth Mindset,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The other major aspect is setting consequences and then enforcing them. This is what happens when someone attempts to violate your boundaries after you’ve communicated them. This is can be whatever you want; the only thing it cannot be is nothing. Failure to do so will create porous boundaries, which are as good as no boundaries at all. However, they also cannot be too rigid. Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Assertiveness #PorousBoundaries #Don’tLetBoundaryCrossersOffTheHook #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #EverydayAssertiveness
Assertiveness,Porous Boundaries,Don’t Let Boundary Crossers Off The Hook,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Everyday Assertiveness
Suppose that you’re an American who has never really cared much for soccer, but you’re going to be moving to a country in Europe or South America where soccer is a big deal. You might still find the sport itself boring, but learning about it and developing an interest can give you an easy conversation starter with a massive percentage of the population in your new home. You’ll find it much easier to make friends in any situation if you can talk to people about the things they’re passionate about. The goal is to find common ground, even when that takes some effort. Once the initial similarity is established, you simply stand a far better chance of overall social acceptance, and sometimes that is all we can hope for.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Descioli #Kurzban #PeterDeScioli #RobertKurzban #SocialIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching
Descioli,Kurzban,Peter DeScioli,Robert Kurzban,Social Intelligence,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
Strong and clear boundaries will be one of your best defenses against people-pleasing and the people who would have you do so. However, they can’t exist solely in your head, and they can’t be so flexible that people see no reason to abide by them. Thus, you must define them based on your values, and then communicate them clearly and enforce them without exception. The other major aspect is setting consequences and then enforcing them. This is what happens when someone attempts to violate your boundaries after you’ve communicated them. This is can be whatever you want; the only thing it cannot be is nothing. Failure to do so will create porous boundaries, which are as good as no boundaries at all. However, they also cannot be too rigid.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Assertiveness #ChangeYourself—AndOnlyYourself #TheArtofEverydayAssertiveness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Assertiveness,Change Yourself—And Only Yourself,The Art of Everyday Assertiveness,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Even if we find that we have been less than pleasant in some of our interactions, there are several things we can do to better ourselves. The first and most important step here is to accept and listen when others tell us about any misdeed we may have committed. Just like we are free to have boundaries based on our values and desires, so are others. There is no right or wrong boundary, and we must be accommodating of others without judgement. In cases of deep cultural differences, it is important to remember that the other person comes from a completely different background, with unique experiences that are different from our own. Generally, it always pays to be compassionate and willing to talk it out with others.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Boundaries #BrickByBrick #EstablishingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Boundaries, Brick By Brick ,Establishing Boundaries,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The 1:1:1 method of storytelling is to simplify it as much as possible. The impact of a story won’t necessarily be stronger if it is ten sentences versus two sentences. Therefore, the 1:1:1: method focuses on the discussion and reaction that occurs after a story. A story can be composed solely of (1) one action, (2) one emotion to be evoked, and (3) a one-sentence summary. Don’t get lost rambling, and also make sure your listener feels that they are fully participating in the conversation. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
The1:1:1Method #Storytelling #TheArtofWittyBanter #WittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
The 1:1:1 Method,Storytelling,The Art of Witty Banter,Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
To get more creative, think more plainly. It sounds counterintuitive, but simple thoughts underlie complex processes and solutions. Thinking more basically allows you to refocus on what matters and escape what is known as functional fixedness. When we start to view goals and concepts in isolation and free of contextual constraints, we are freed. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BrianUzzi #EngedesBewusstseins #JacquesSHadamard #Johansson #Medici #ProfessorUzzi #Renaissance #Uzzi #Take #Borrow #Steal #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Brian Uzzi,Enge des Bewusstseins,Jacques S Hadamard,Johansson,Medici,Professor Uzzi,Renaissance,Uzzi,Take, Borrow, Steal,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The last way we must struggle to keep an open mind and clarity of thought is in relation to our social influences. The people around us can determine what we think and do, no matter how hard we try. This was proved in the Asch Conformity Test and the Milgram Shock Experiment. It doesn’t matter how open-minded you are, your environment has the ability to push you strongly in one way despite your best intentions. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
This last set consists of language-based riddles. Focus carefully on the words used to form them. How can you drop a whole, raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
EggRiddle #LanguageRiddle #Riddle #UsingRiddles #WetCoat #LanguageAndWordRiddles #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Egg Riddle,Language Riddle,Riddle,Using Riddles,Wet Coat,Language And Word Riddles ,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
A fixed mindset is one where you believe that all of your qualities such as intelligence, motivation levels, your skills, and so on, are all inherently a part of you in pre-decided quantities that cannot ever be changed. This mindset precludes growth and the cultivation of our conscious intention; it tells us that any effort to improve is ultimately meaningless, because you can never be better than you already are. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
CarolDweck #Dweck #mindset #TheBlockOfFixedMindset #FixedMindset #GrowthMindset #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Carol Dweck,Dweck,mindset,The Block Of Fixed Mindset,Fixed Mindset,Growth Mindset,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Sometimes, simply communicating your boundaries to others will not persuade them to stop violating them. In such cases, it might help to ask ourselves some questions regarding this person. Is there any wiggle room with respect to your boundaries? Is there a pattern of any type of behavior that you can discern? Is this person even capable or willing to accept your boundaries? Are you allowing or enabling the violation of your boundaries in some way? Considering the answers to questions like these can help you determine the appropriate course of action when it comes to boundary violations. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BoundaryHabitChecking #YourRole #YourNeeds #EstablishingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Boundary Habit Checking,Your Role, Your Needs ,Establishing Boundaries,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
People want allies, emotional support, and friends who will go to bat for them and even defend them. No one likes to feel like they are surrounded by unreliable people, or even perpetual takers. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Briggs #Byrne #Caspi #Erdley #Gold #Herbener #Lazarus #Lewak #Morell #Nangle #Stanchfield #Sullaway #Twillman #TypeA #TypeB #Wakefield #Zeff #PeopleWantSimilarityAndFamiliarity #SocialIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Briggs,Byrne,Caspi,Erdley,Gold,Herbener,Lazarus,Lewak,Morell,Nangle,Stanchfield,Sullaway,Twillman,Type A,Type B,Wakefield,Zeff,People Want Similarity And Familiarity,Social Intelligence,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Strong and clear boundaries will be one of your best defenses against people-pleasing and the people who would have you do so. However, they can’t exist solely in your head, and they can’t be so flexible that people see no reason to abide by them. Thus, you must define them based on your values, and then communicate them clearly and enforce them without exception. The other major aspect is setting consequences and then enforcing them. This is what happens when someone attempts to violate your boundaries after you’ve communicated them. This is can be whatever you want; the only thing it cannot be is nothing. Failure to do so will create porous boundaries, which are as good as no boundaries at all. However, they also cannot be too rigid.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ChoosingAndEnforcingYourBoundaries #Assertiveness #Boundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Choosing And Enforcing Your Boundaries ,Assertiveness,Boundaries,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Empathy and validation are two very closely linked concepts. Validation is when we convey our acceptance of another person’s experiences and emotions, whereas empathy is when we see the world as they do and truly put ourselves in their shoes. One can validate without actually being empathetic and vice versa. However, when we combine the two, we get a powerful combination that can instantly uplift someone’s mood by making them feel seen and heard. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BeyondValidation #Empathy #ValidationEvenInConflict #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Beyond Validation,Empathy,Validation Even In Conflict,Listen Hear Validate,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Captivating people usually refers to telling a story that leaves them listening like children (in a good way). Storytelling is a big topic that is often made overly complex, but there are many ways of creating this feeling in small, everyday ways. To captivate others is no easy feat, but the material and ability lies within all of us. We just have to know where it is and how to access it. An easy way to imagine everyday storytelling is that your life is a series of stories—mini-stories, to be exact. Instead of giving one-word answers, get into the habit of framing your answers as a story with a point. It creates more engagement, lets you show your personality, and allows for smoother conversation. The bonus here is that you can prepare these before a conversation. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Ministories #CaptivatingStories #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheArtofWittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Ministories,Captivating Stories ,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,The Art of Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Confirmation bias is also the most prominent way that we fail to simply follow the evidence. If we perform research and keep an open mind, our task is simple: just follow the arrows where they point. But all too often, we are seduced into following the wrong arrows. These include the cognitive distortions of focusing on “must” and “ should”, black-and-white thinking, the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and labeling.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Cornell #DavidDunning #Dunning #DunningKruger #DunningKrugerEffect #JustinKruger #Kruger #FollowTheEvidence #PatrickKing #SocialSkill #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Cornell,David Dunning,Dunning,DunningKruger,DunningKruger Effect,Justin Kruger,Kruger,Follow The Evidence,Patrick King,Social Skill,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
The SCAMPER method forces you to think in foreign and novel directions. It stands for (S) substitute, (C) combine, (A) adapt, (M) minimize/magnify, (P) put to another use, (E) eliminate, and (R) reverse. It utilizes the general concept of force fitting, which is when you force unfamiliar concepts and ideas together mentally, thereby creating necessarily new patterns of thought. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BobEberle #discussion #eliminate #magnify #reverse #SCAMPER #SCAMPERMethod #PracticalIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Bob Eberle,discussion,eliminate,magnify,reverse,SCAMPER,SCAMPER Method ,Practical Intelligence,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
We live in a world where everyone has boundaries, strong or weak. As such, we must be mindful of not only our own boundaries, but also those of the ones around us. If someone has overly rigid boundaries, they might end up stepping over our own. Alternatively, if we have loose boundaries, we might be subjected to abuse from those who enjoy controlling us for their own benefit. Anyone who repeatedly violates our boundaries despite being warned is likely being abusive, and must be dealt with appropriately.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
DARVO #ReverseVictim #Stonewalling #RecognizingAbuse #EstablishingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
DARVO,Reverse Victim,Stonewalling,Recognizing Abuse ,Establishing Boundaries,Russell Newton,NewtonMG Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee).
A man hears his name spoken and is taken away by other men. Later, he dies under the care of others. What happened? Think of the context where this is possible. The answer is a courtroom, where a judge calls his name to confirm conviction. He is later executed in custody—under the care of others. Lastly, a woman is slowly walking outside on a hot Sunday afternoon when she spots a ferocious tiger. Instead of running away, she runs toward the tiger. Why? Think of the only time one might run toward a tiger. This can be in a zoo, where it is inside an enclosure and thus safe.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Neuroplasticity #AMan’SNameIsCalled... #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Neuroplasticity,A Man’S Name Is Called...,Learn to Think Using Riddles,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
In previous chapters, we’ve discussed some of the specific ways of thinking about social interactions that can make them more positive. They’re a bit indirect, and have to do with perception, psychology, and how to position yourself for the best outcome. They draw upon our brain’s tendency to make positive associations, where perhaps none actually exist. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Carnegie #DianaTamir #HarvardUniversity #InfluencePeople #JasonMitchell #Tamir #ASimpleRoadmap #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Carnegie,Diana Tamir,Harvard University,Influence People,Jason Mitchell,Tamir,A Simple Roadmap ,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
We tend to think being agreeable and accommodating are positive traits. They are, but only to a certain extent. Studies have shown that too much of either conveys a negative impression to others—precisely what you want to prevent by not asserting yourself. Thus, it seems to make more sense to assert yourself on a consistent basis and stop the need for people-pleasing. Keep the words flowing by https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RussellNewton (buying me a coffee). Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Agreeableness #Assertiveness #EverydayAssertiveness #SocialPsychology #AssertingBoundaries #PatrickKing #TheArtofEverydayAssertiveness #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Agreeableness,Assertiveness,Everyday Assertiveness,Social Psychology,Asserting Boundaries,Patrick King,The Art of Everyday Assertiveness,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Indecisiveness comes down to an intolerance of uncertainty, and often to informational overload. In our modern, technologically advanced world, we’re constantly bombarded with an endless set of options in all spheres of life. We’re also saturated with all the information we come across on a daily basis, and this makes it hard to decide on things because we’re always looking for a better choice. We can consciously decide, however, to embrace imperfection and take on risks in the service of achieving what we care about. Another way to tackle information overload is to ascertain what you need to know in order to make a decision, and identify the outcome you’re looking for. Then, narrow down possible decisions and take a leap of faith by choosing any because the opportunity cost involved becomes very low. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Intention #Overgeneralize #SetUpADefaultChoice #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Intention,Overgeneralize,Set Up A Default Choice,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
It’s one thing to validate someone when their grievances are aimed at someone else. It’s another thing entirely to do so when you are the source of their frustrations. Another challenging scenario is validating someone when they’re espousing views or thoughts that are morally abhorrent to you. However, in both these cases, it is essential that we focus on the person and not the content of their argument. Always remember that validation is not agreement; you can validate without accepting someone’s views. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
argument #disagreement #ListenHearValidate #Start #Validate #ValidatingAmidstDisagreement #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
argument,disagreement,Listen Hear Validate,Start,Validate,Validating Amidst Disagreement,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Second, we learn to tell stories in reverse using the fishbone diagram analysis. This is a powerful tool to deal with the problem of cause and effect and illuminate our thinking to the possibilities of alternative perspectives. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Causation #Causationvent #correlation #StorytellInReverse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Causation,Causationvent,correlation,Storytell In Reverse,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The final technique is all about dissecting misdirection and how it can lead to big laughs. First, we start with sarcasm and irony. Sarcasm is when you say something you don’t mean in an attempt to make fun or ridicule something. Irony, on the other hand, refers to situations where something happens that is the opposite of what you’d expect. This is more observational humor on your part, because you would be pointing out a contrast rather than creating one. Irony has a surprising amount of versatility because of the many places it can be applied. You can be on the lookout for ironic contrast between words and body language and tone, ironic hyperbole, and even use an ironic simile for yourself (lightweight as a brick). The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Heisenberg #MunicipalTrafficReductionCommittee #IronicHumor #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Heisenberg,Municipal Traffic Reduction Committee,Ironic Humor,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The most glaring example of this is confirmation bias, wherein we are deaf and blind to evidence that doesn’t support what we think. In other words, we see what we want to see, and we can make a belief appear out of thin air. This is dangerous because it brings the ability to ignore reality. You eventually become entrenched in an echo chamber of reinforcing information that will definitely lead you astray. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BertrandRussell #confirmationbias #BattleConfirmationBias #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Bertrand Russell,confirmation bias,Battle Confirmation Bias,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
We live in a world where everyone has boundaries, strong or weak. As such, we must be mindful of not only our own boundaries, but also those of the ones around us. If someone has overly rigid boundaries, they might end up stepping over our own. Alternatively, if we have loose boundaries, we might be subjected to abuse from those who enjoy controlling us for their own benefit. Anyone who repeatedly violates our boundaries despite being warned is likely being abusive, and must be dealt with appropriately. “I” statements are an invaluable tool when it comes to communicating your boundaries to others. These statements aim to convey how particular actions committed by others make us feel. If, say, we are annoyed by our spouse not doing their share of chores, we might tell them “I feel anxious and taken for granted when you…”.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
EstablishingBoundaries #StartWithWhoYouAre #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Establishing Boundaries,Start With Who You Are,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
A woman goes into a store and piles a shopping cart to the brim with things. She leaves the store without paying, yet nobody stops her or calls the police. Why? Think of situations where one can fill a cart with items that don’t need to be paid for. The answer is trash. The woman is an employee of the store who left to throw trash in the dumpster. A man walks into a small room and presses a button. In a few seconds, he loses twenty pounds. How? This is another riddle where many different answers fit the criteria, but the official one is that he enters an elevator, losing twenty pounds as he descends to a lower floor.
A man living in a fifty-story building decides to jump out of the window, but survives without sustaining any injuries. How? The fifty-story part might confuse you, but the answer is that he jumps out of a first floor window, allowing him to survive without injuring himself.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
LearntoThinkUsingRiddles #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #MysteryWeightLoss #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Learn to Think Using Riddles,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Mystery Weight Loss ,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Some of the most common ways in which we might invalidate others include using undermining language, having judgmental attitudes, trying to fix another person’s problems when they just want to be heard, etc. Avoid using words like “but” by replacing them with “and” while also being mindful of your tone while conversing. Don’t exercise judgement and remember that you are not being asked for a solution, the other person simply wants their thoughts to be heard. When someone invalidates you, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries, especially if the other person is close to you. If not, you may simply choose to end the conversation and cease contact. But if they are close, you’ll want to calmly use “I” statements to convey how the invalidation made you feel and set boundaries that establish how you want to be treated in the future.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Communicate #Invalidation #Validate #BeingAGoodCommunicator:HowToAvoidInvalidatingOthers #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Communicate,Invalidation,Validate,Being A Good Communicator: How To Avoid Invalidating Others,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Three mental models are specifically suited toward our purpose of practical intelligence and acting within the bounds of common sense. First, we discuss the difference between evaluating a process versus an outcome. Often we can fall into the trap of outcome bias, wherein we ignore our decision process simply because something turned out favorably. Second, we learn to tell stories in reverse using the fishbone diagram analysis. This is a powerful tool to deal with the problem of cause and effect and illuminate our thinking to the possibilities of alternative perspectives. Third, we come to separating correlation from causation, and understanding the true relationships between events we observe. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AnnieDuke #Duke #FrancescaGino #Gino #HarvardBusinessSchool #ProcessVersusOutcome #PatrickKing #PracticalIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Annie Duke,Duke,Francesca Gino,Gino,Harvard Business School,Process Versus Outcome,Patrick King,Practical Intelligence,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
The final technique is all about dissecting misdirection and how it can lead to big laughs. First, we start with sarcasm and irony. Sarcasm is when you say something you don’t mean in an attempt to make fun or ridicule something. Irony, on the other hand, refers to situations where something happens that is the opposite of what you’d expect. This is more observational humor on your part, because you would be pointing out a contrast rather than creating one. Irony has a surprising amount of versatility because of the many places it can be applied. You can be on the lookout for ironic contrast between words and body language and tone, ironic hyperbole, and even use an ironic simile for yourself (lightweight as a brick). The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
DouglasAdams #GeorgeJessel #Sarcasm #sarcastic #MisdirectionAplenty #TheArtofWittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Douglas Adams,George Jessel,Sarcasm,sarcastic,Misdirection Aplenty,The Art of Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Sometimes humans are painfully predictable. Even without reading the contents of this chapter, you probably could have guessed that humans seek the following elements. We’re all just selfish, hairless apes. At least now you know the specifics. People want to talk about themselves and express their thoughts and emotions. Studies have shown that it feels just about as good as sex to do so— psychologically, not physically.
People want to find those similar to them—because of all the assumptions that go along with those shared traits. If you do X, that means you do Y and Z, right? You’re just like my favorite person in the world, me!
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Billig #Bundy #Flament #PaulKlee #Tajfel #WassilyKandinsky #In-Groups #SocialIntellignece #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Billig,Bundy,Flament,Paul Klee,Tajfel,Wassily Kandinsky,In-Groups,Social Intellignece,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
An integral part of crystal-clear thinking is to be open-minded. Being open-minded means to hear evidence or an argument and not make an instant judgment. It means being able to say “I don’t know” and resist that feeling of uncertainty. These are all difficult because we are wired to do the opposite. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Aristotle #TheOpenMind #TheArtofClearThinking #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Aristotle,The Open Mind ,The Art of Clear Thinking,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Indecisiveness comes down to an intolerance of uncertainty, and often to informational overload. In our modern, technologically advanced world, we’re constantly bombarded with an endless set of options in all spheres of life. We’re also saturated with all the information we come across on a daily basis, and this makes it hard to decide on things because we’re always looking for a better choice. We can consciously decide, however, to embrace imperfection and take on risks in the service of achieving what we care about. Another way to tackle information overload is to ascertain what you need to know in order to make a decision, and identify the outcome you’re looking for. Then, narrow down possible decisions and take a leap of faith by choosing any because the opportunity cost involved becomes very low. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Commitment #Indecision #TheAntidoteOfCommitment #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Commitment,Indecision,The Antidote Of Commitment,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Marsha Linehan has come up with a comprehensive, six-step model of validation that we can use when listening to others. Each step in this model relies on the previous one. One can’t jump from step 1 to step 6; they must follow each step in the same order to validate someone in the best, most reassuring way possible. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
acceptance #communicating #Linehan #MarshaLinehan #validation #HowtoListen #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
acceptance,communicating,Linehan,Marsha Linehan,validation,How to Listen Hear and Validate,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Other methods of saying no include planting preemptive seeds, emphasizing how you are tied to other people and can’t act independently, reflecting and acknowledging, referencing the fact that you can’t do everything at once, resisting the moment where you want to insert an addendum or caveat, creating hoops for people to jump through and themselves say yes to, baiting and switching with related or unrelated tasks, keeping it nonpersonal and focused on the specific circumstance, and passing the buck to someone who appears to be able to solve the problem at hand much better than you. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
CreateHoops #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Create Hoops,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Your identity and relationship with boundaries are inextricably linked. Those with poor boundaries often struggle with them because they have never truly reflected upon what it is that they want. On the other hand, rigid boundaries are a sign of fear and insecurity about the world and its potential for causing pain to us. Our identity forms the basis for our values, and our values are instrumental to our boundaries. Only by cultivating an awareness of what our values are can we start to build healthy boundaries. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
boundary #KnowingThyself #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
boundary,Knowing Thyself,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
I don’t have a voice, but I speak to you. I tell you all the things that people in the world do. I have leaves, but I’m not a tree; I have a spine but am not human. I have hinges but am not a door. What am I? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
TheMan #TheCar #AndTheHotel #ThinkUsingRiddles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
The Man, The Car, And The Hotel ,Think Using Riddles,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
For every negative trait a person sees in him/herself, the key is for you to be accepting and considerate. Occasionally, you may run across a situation where someone’s self-perception varies vastly from their reality. In these instances, it’s worth asking yourself what your overall goal is—to be better socially, or to burst someone’s bubble. The answer to this question may guide your actions. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ElizabethPinel #Harkins #JamesStein #PaulWhite #Pinel #Ritts #Stein #StephenHarkins #Swann #VickiRitts #WilliamSwann #Self-Verification #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #SocialIntelligence
Elizabeth Pinel,Harkins,James Stein,Paul White,Pinel,Ritts,Stein,Stephen Harkins,Swann,Vicki Ritts,William Swann,Self-Verification,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Social Intelligence
Indecisiveness comes down to an intolerance of uncertainty, and often to informational overload. In our modern, technologically advanced world, we’re constantly bombarded with an endless set of options in all spheres of life. We’re also saturated with all the information we come across on a daily basis, and this makes it hard to decide on things because we’re always looking for a better choice. We can consciously decide, however, to embrace imperfection and take on risks in the service of achieving what we care about. Another way to tackle information overload is to ascertain what you need to know in order to make a decision, and identify the outcome you’re looking for. Then, narrow down possible decisions and take a leap of faith by choosing any because the opportunity cost involved becomes very low. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
InformationOverload #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Information Overload,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Among the innumerable approaches that exist, we talk about the Pareto Principle (80/20 ratio), thinking about secondary consequences, distinguishing between feeling and thinking, satisficing (satisfy + suffice), prioritizing motion over planning, and addressing Murphy’s Law (whatever can go wrong, will go wrong). Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ParetoPrinciple #ModelsInBrief #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Pareto Principle,Models In Brief,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
One comedy technique that relies on mental imagery is the comic triple. Here, you basically describe something using three adjectives, two positive, and one highly negative, in that order. Alternatively, X, Y, and opposite of X and Y. We generally expect a third related adjective after two consecutive ones, but an unrelated descriptor completely throws our audience off. The comic triple works because of the misdirection and surprise. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
TheComicTriple #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheArtofWittyBanter #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching
The Comic Triple ,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,The Art of Witty Banter,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching
Many people tend to confuse sympathy, empathy, and validation, and there is indeed significant overlap between the three concepts. However, sympathy is when we see other’s experiences through our own lens and react accordingly. When empathizing, we try to relate to other’s experiences the way they are experiencing them. Lastly, validation is merely expressing your belief that someone else’s experience is inherently valid. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Brisini #Communication #PennStateUniversity #Solomon #Tian #Validation #ValidationisOneoftheClearestWaystoSayYouCare #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching
Brisini,Communication,Penn State University,Solomon,Tian,Validation,Validation is One of the Clearest Ways to Say You Care,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching
One of the best ways to embody practical intelligence is Charlie Munger’s concept of mental models. These are heuristics, or handy rules of thumb, for how to approach situations in smart ways. It’s when we try to freelance everything in our lives that we truly run into trouble, so having (relatively) universal guidelines or blueprints for how to act intelligently and efficiently can be invaluable. Among the innumerable approaches that exist, we talk about the Pareto Principle (80/20 ratio), thinking about secondary consequences, distinguishing between feeling and thinking, satisficing (satisfy + suffice), prioritizing motion over planning, and addressing Murphy’s Law (whatever can go wrong, will go wrong). Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BerkshireHathaway #Buffett #CharlieMunger #InvestmentManagement #Munger #ParetoPrinciple #USCBusinessSchool #WarrenBuffett #ThinkInModels #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Berkshire Hathaway,Buffett,Charlie Munger,Investment Management,Munger,Pareto Principle,USC Business School,Warren Buffett,Think In Models,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
We end the book right back where we start—with questions. And this is illustrated through the parable of the happiness of fish, as noted by Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi. No one can peer into the minds of others—and this is shown right from the outset in two ways. Zhuangzi first assets that he knows the happiness of the fish, but in fact, he is not presupposing to know their state of mind, only that fish are simply doing what fish do, and this is their happiness. It’s that simple. Zhuangzi knows the happiness of fish because fish do what fish do and he can see them doing it. However, Huizi points out that Zhuangzi is not a fish, so how could he possibly know what brings them happiness, just as the two of them cannot possibly know what the other knows or does not know. If Zhuangzi cannot know the happiness of fish because he is not a fish, then, applying the same reasoning, Huizi cannot know whether Zhuangzi knows it or not. If the first premise is correct, then this conclusion would certainly seem to logically follow. And in the end, maybe it’s all a dream, and we’re just a butterfly waking up from a deep nap in mid-spring. Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BrookZiporyn #Huizi #Taoist #Wittgenstein #Zhuangzi #ATaleOfFish #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Brook Ziporyn,Huizi,Taoist,Wittgenstein,Zhuangzi,A Tale Of Fish,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
One of the main things that prevents us from being humorous and funny is that we take everything too literally, and we use boring language in doing so. This is a difference in mindset, similar to the play versus conversing/discussion dichotomy we had earlier. We miss easy opportunities when we can realize that some vocabulary choices are better than others, and that we have multiple chances a day to use them. So the first step in being funnier is to use language that is both specific and paints vivid images in people’s minds. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AmySchumer #VividImagery #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Amy Schumer,Vivid Imagery,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Indecisiveness comes down to an intolerance of uncertainty, and often to informational overload. In our modern, technologically advanced world, we’re constantly bombarded with an endless set of options in all spheres of life. We’re also saturated with all the information we come across on a daily basis, and this makes it hard to decide on things because we’re always looking for a better choice. We can consciously decide, however, to embrace imperfection and take on risks in the service of achieving what we care about. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
analysis #indecision #indecisiveness #intolerance #perfectionism #Uncertainty #TheBlockOfIndecision #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
analysis,indecision,indecisiveness,intolerance,perfectionism,Uncertainty,The Block Of Indecision ,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Reciprocity of liking—a phenomenon in which choosing to like somebody first makes it much more probable that they’ll like you back. The immediate application of this is simple—when you meet somebody new, make it known that you like them and you’ll increase the odds of building a positive relationship with them. But do we actually like each other, or is it all perception? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ElliotAronson #PhillipWorchel #reciprocal #reciprocity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Elliot Aronson,Phillip Worchel,reciprocal,reciprocity,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The concept of validation is especially relevant in our present age because of how socially isolated we are as individuals. Validating someone is a way of expressing solidarity with them, and makes the other person feel heard and understood. It adds a richness and sense of ease to life that would otherwise be missing if we felt that we have to go through life’s travails alone and without anyone else’s support. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
validation #willpower #WhyValidationIsSoImportant #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching
validation,willpower,Why Validation Is So Important,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching
Perception can also be shown to be wholly unimportant in the grand scheme of things, as demonstrated by Wittgenstein’s beetle in a box thought experiment. Suppose we have a box of objects that we call beetles, and so does everyone else. The thing is, no one can ever look inside each other’s boxes, so it’s a total mystery as to what a beetle means to all of us. The analogy is obvious: the box is each individual mind, the beetle is the mysterious and ineffable contents of that mind, and the fact that other peoples’ boxes are hidden from us is the idea that we never truly have access to another being’s mind. The way we perceive a simple beetle, and extrapolating to how we see the world, is singular. We can guess, and we can assume, but our deepest experiences and perceptions are fundamentally closed off to others, and permanently private. Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Wittgenstein #WhatsABeetle #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Wittgenstein,What’s A Beetle?,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Three mental models are specifically suited toward our purpose of practical intelligence and acting within the bounds of common sense. First, we discuss the difference between evaluating a process versus an outcome. Often we can fall into the trap of outcome bias, wherein we ignore our decision process simply because something turned out favorably. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PracticalIntelligence #ThinkCritically #AnalyzeDeeply #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #BeatingCognitiveBias #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Practical Intelligence,Think Critically,Analyze Deeply,Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Beating Cognitive Bias,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
Saying no is one of the toughest situations in everyday life because it is a mini confrontation every single time. But there are many ways to make this part of life smoother and less tense. Start saying “I don’t” versus “I can’t” because the former implies a policy, whereas the latter implies something to be negotiated. Likewise, get into the habit of saying no to specific and broad categories because that also implies a policy that you don’t make exceptions for.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ICan’tvsIDon’t #SayNo #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
I Can’t vs I Don’t,Say No,Russell Newton,NewtonMG
It is all too easy to fall into the trap of replacing loose boundaries with ones that are overly rigid. We might feel like we are protecting ourselves by erecting a huge emotional wall around us, but in truth, we are simply insulating ourselves from positive experiences that are necessary to live a fulfilling life. As such, we must discover the mean that lies between these two types of boundaries. Those are the ones that we should aim to integrate into our daily lives. Boundaries that are too weak will inevitably be an emotional drain on our mental health. When we keep such boundaries, we implicitly allow others to trample over us. This leads to us feeling used, unappreciated, and taken for granted. On the other hand, rigid boundaries can make us feel extremely lonely. It is understandable to be defensive and overprotective if we have been betrayed or hurt by those closest to us, but keeping everyone at an arm’s length only leaves us feeling alone and uncared for.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
blackandwhitethinking #ASimplePyramid #SettingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
black and white thinking,A Simple Pyramid ,Setting Boundaries,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
In a similar vein, learn more, read more, expose yourself to more, and think more. Stop relying on information to passively come to you; proactively learn about what you are interested in. Have intellectual curiosity. Develop opinions by thinking through different perspectives and become more knowledgeable in general. These two points make you the type of person with whom free-flowing conversation happens naturally, and doesn’t have to be manufactured. With that said, you could be the most interesting person in the world and no one will care if you have one of the most repulsive social habits: being judgmental. This is when you only see in black and white, and everyone falls into two categories: your perspective, or the wrong one. You are a member of the Belief Police. You can bet that this is annoying and frustrating to others, to the point where it will eventually lead to them feeling unsafe around you and outright avoiding you. When you are feeling an urge to judge, try to instead take the perspective that you lack the information to make a smart judgment, and become more curious about others and what you are missing. If all else fails, make the assumption that everyone is simply trying their best with what they have.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BeliefPolice #BranchOut #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Belief Police,Branch Out,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Seemingly contradictory, the answer is the word ... These types of riddles often include the solution within the question itself. How can you add two to eleven and get one as the correct answer? This riddle appears to be mathematically impossible, since 11+2 cannot equal 1. However, the context matters. Adding two ... which is the correct answer.
What makes more as you take them? There can be multiple correct answers to this one, as long as the object fulfils the condition that it increases the more we take it. ... are both examples of this.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
StrangeSum #StrangeWord #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Strange Sum,Strange Word,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Finally, it’s important to understand logical arguments—especially illogical arguments. This is how you determine the truth and validity of what is being said. We hear these every day but may not be able to pick out their logical flaws. You can think of these as a combination of math and argumentation. There is the conditional statement (X -> Y, true), the converse statement (Y -> X, usually a flaw), the inverse statement (Not X -> Not Y, usually a flaw), and the contrapositive statement (Not Y -> Not X, true). It’s not just word games; it’s understanding the foundations upon which true and misleading arguments are built. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Aristotle #converse #inverse #Contrapositive #TheLawsOfLogic #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Aristotle,converse,inverse,Contrapositive,The Laws Of Logic ,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
One of the main things that prevents us from being humorous and funny is that we take everything too literally, and we use boring language in doing so. This is a difference in mindset, similar to the play versus conversing/discussion dichotomy we had earlier. We miss easy opportunities when we can realize that some vocabulary choices are better than others, and that we have multiple chances a day to use them. So the first step in being funnier is to use language that is both specific and paints vivid images in people’s minds. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Ganesha #Misconstruing #GoBeyondTheLiteral #TheArtofWittyBanter #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Ganesha,Misconstruing,Go Beyond The Literal,The Art of Witty Banter,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
When we slow down and become curious about why we feel as we do, we can start to reduce, remove and transform negative self-belief into a feeling of self-love and high self-esteem. Other practical ways to reinforce a confident mindset are to dress the part and spend time grooming yourself the way someone who values themselves would, and cultivate the right mental biases which look for the silver lining in every negative outcome. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
TheCurseOfComparisons #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
The Curse Of Comparisons,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The Pygmalion effect states that if you have an image of a person’s behavior and personality, that’s exactly who they’ll become. Our perception becomes reality, because we can’t help but act accordingly and mold them in our perception’s image. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
HyunjinSong #IQ #NorbertSchwarz #PygmalionEffect #RobertFeldman #Pygmalion #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Hyunjin Song,IQ,Norbert Schwarz,Pygmalion Effect,Robert Feldman,Pygmalion,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
When we validate someone, we convey our acceptance of that person’s experiences, emotions, thoughts, and realities. Conversely, when we invalidate someone, we deny or minimize the importance of their issues and needs. Though validation is a common word these days, it’s not always clear how best to or even why we should engage in it. The fact is that every person’s experience is inherently valid and instead of exercising judgement, we should try and accept people as they are. However, acceptance must not be confused with agreement. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ValidationAsACommunicationSkill #ListenHearValidate #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Validation As A Communication Skill ,Listen Hear Validate,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Perception is necessarily unique and individual, because our perception is not just a shared circumstance or setting. Perception comes through the total sum of our experiences, memories, feelings, emotions, upbringings, and more. When phrased thusly, it seems an exercise in obviousness to say that our perceptions are all different. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg in thinking about the concept of perception—how we understand the world around us. We start with the thought experiment of the Chinese room, wherein language is reduced to a series of inputs and appropriate outputs. You are sitting in a room, and you are trained to recognize Chinese characters shown to you, and then display an appropriate response. For all intents and purposes, anyone outside the room interacting with you would assume that you are a native Chinese speaker—but you’re just pushing buttons. So what is language? It’s about understanding, emotion, and empathy; yet what happens if we conceive of it as a calculator with numbers and equations? What does it mean to actually understand someone on a real level, instead of just responding to them as you think you should? For all of our best intentions, are we just simulating thinking, behavior, actions, and emotion?
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Plato #Searle #Turing #TheNatureOfPerception #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Plato,Searle,Turing,The Nature Of Perception,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
We practice confirmation bias because, quite simply, it hurts to be wrong. Taking the emotional component out of our “truths” as much as possible and being open-minded about divergent views help us combat confirmation bias and think smarter. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Confirmation #FourCognitiveBiasesToWatchOutFor #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Confirmation,Four Cognitive Biases To Watch Out For,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
There are better and worse ways of making requests and asking for what you want. In fact, there are seven elements that will help you the most. Don’t fill the silence after your ask, consider the other person’s needs, make it easy and convenient, offer clear options, be direct and honest, be specific, and don’t you dare pout if you get turned down.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Assertion #Empathetic #EmpatheticAssertion #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Assertion,Empathetic,Empathetic Assertion,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
It is all too easy to fall into the trap of replacing loose boundaries with ones that are overly rigid. We might feel like we are protecting ourselves by erecting a huge emotional wall around us, but in truth, we are simply insulating ourselves from positive experiences that are necessary to live a fulfilling life. As such, we must discover the mean that lies between these two types of boundaries. Those are the ones that we should aim to integrate into our daily lives. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Loneliness #BetweenARockAndAHardPlace:EmotionalDrainAndLoneliness #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Loneliness,Between A Rock And A Hard Place: Emotional Drain And Loneliness ,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
This book is littered with tips and tricks to make small talk less painful and flow more smoothly. It’s been almost all outwardly focused—on the other person, on the interaction, and on what you can say to improve your social exchanges. While that’s ultimately the most important part, there remains a vital part of the equation left for the end: looking inwards to yourself. From the perspective of others, are you someone who is easy to make small talk with? Are you someone who energizes and makes people curious, or are you rather a drain on their precious energy? We have to make sure that our input is proportional to the type of output we want. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
LookingInwards #BetterSmallTalk #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Looking Inwards,Better Small Talk,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
The following set of riddles exploits the cognitive shortcuts and assumptions our brain makes. You are in a dark cabin and you have a single match in a matchbox, a candle, a newspaper, and an oil stove. Which do you light first? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
SayMyName #Teasers #BrainTeasers #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Say My Name,Teasers,Brain Teasers,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Your memories are wrong. No matter how real and accurate they sometimes feel, a disturbing fact is that memories and false memories end up being indistinguishable to your brain. Factors as small as word choice or pointed questions can distort memories. Unfortunately, we depend on these memories to form our world views and perspectives. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AnneliesVredeveldt #Coan #HugoMunsterberg #JuliaShaw #Loftus #Neufel #Nicholson #Palmer #Scheck #WitnessStand #MemoriesAreWrong #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Annelies Vredeveldt,Coan,Hugo Munsterberg,Julia Shaw,Loftus,Neufel,Nicholson,Palmer,Scheck,Witness Stand,Memories Are Wrong,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Our next few tricks rely on the art of misconstruing. The banter chain is the first of these. Banter chains are a series of exchanges that rely on you having misconstrued an ordinary remark as the other person plays along. You put forth a purposeful misinterpretation, and if they bite on it, you have now entered what you can call a banter chain, and can continue to ramp it up. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Improv #Misconstrued #InstigateABanterChain #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Improv,Misconstrued,Instigate A Banter Chain,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
We can change our core beliefs by slowly reworking our self-narratives. We can do this by accepting our negative emotions with self-compassion and curiosity, before we gently rewrite our stories. Avoid the temptation to compare yourself to others, especially if you are active on social media. Places like Instagram make you feel bad about your life because you’re constantly subjected to a barrage of updates with all of your friends posting about their successes, vacations, etc. However, it is important to remember that nobody posts their failures and dull moments, and that their reality is likely to be much closer to your own.
Perception is actually similar to the phenomena we discussed in the previous chapter. You don’t know for sure if it’s true, but you like what you see. That lends credence to the sad truth that we humans are shallow and don’t prefer to think twice. But hey, at least in this book, you are learning to use this to your advantage. The following principles are all instances in which our snap judgment and viewpoints lead to significant psychological perspective shifts. The first perception for us to use to the gain-loss principle, which states that as one person’s opinion of somebody else becomes increasingly favorable, the other person is more likely to develop a more favorable opinion of them in return. In other words, we perceive consistency as boring, and we like a little bit of chase even in platonic friendships. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Aronson #Darwyn #DarwynLinder #Elliot #ElliotAronson #Gainloss #Keywords #Linder #Minnesota #Palmer #Psychologist #Remember #University #PsychologicalPerception #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Aronson,Darwyn,Darwyn Linder,Elliot,Elliot Aronson,Gainloss,Keywords,Linder,Michael,Minnesota,Narrator,Palmer,PhD,Psychologist,Remember,Simply,University,Whenever,Psychological Perception,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Each of the thought experiments in this chapter follows the same line of thought. Swamp man asks how you would evaluate the identity of a swamp monster that rises after you are struck dead by lightning. This monster is physically the same as you, down to the molecule. And yet, it doesn’t have your personality, experiences, or quirks. Is it you? It seems to be a clear no; but what if this swamp monster also retains all of your memories and experiences? This possibility becomes much hazier, yet it’s still clear that we consider the identity of living beings to be far more than a simple physical representation. Finally, Parfit’s Transporter asks how we would feel if we were physically torn apart, and then reassembled every time we used a transporter, as in the fictional sci-fi television show Star Trek. Are you still you, even though the previous version of you is for all intents and purposes torn to shreds? Is this newly reformed being you, simply because it possesses your experiences and memories?
When you chew over these questions long enough, you start to see that the question of identity is one of continuity from the past to the present—of something that persists despite change and movement through this thing we call time. Body parts, soul/spirit/personality, and behavior/personality are all part of the equation. The question here is not which perspective is correct, but rather to give ourselves the chance to explore the consequences of adopting one or the other viewpoint. The way you think about yourself has the most profound of implications—it draws the limits and bounds of how you live.
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Biases can also come from the two ways in which we organize the limited information we have about the world: schemas and heuristics. They serve to put what we know about the world into action and facilitate quick decision-making. Each of them goes a long way in producing our psychological triggers. Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Passive-aggressive behavior is concealed hostility masquerading as niceness, often with the goal of inducing some type of behavior. This happens when people are too angry to ask for what they want, typically. There are better and worse ways of making requests and asking for what you want. In fact, there are seven elements that will help you the most. Don’t fill the silence after your ask, consider the other person’s needs, make it easy and convenient, offer clear options, be direct and honest, be specific, and don’t you dare pout if you get turned down. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
It is all too easy to fall into the trap of replacing loose boundaries with ones that are overly rigid. We might feel like we are protecting ourselves by erecting a huge emotional wall around us, but in truth, we are simply insulating ourselves from positive experiences that are necessary to live a fulfilling life. As such, we must discover the mean that lies between these two types of boundaries. Those are the ones that we should aim to integrate into our daily lives.
Two girls order iced teas at a restaurant. The first girl drinks hers quickly and orders four more, while the other drinks her first one slowly. The teas were poisoned, but only the second girl dies. How? What disappears the moment you say its name? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PoisonRiddle #Riddle #WindowCleanerRiddle #APoisonRiddleRussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Poison Riddle,Riddle,Window Cleaner Riddle,A Poison RiddleRussell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Say you’re shopping for home theatre equipment. You go to a showroom and see a couple different models. One’s extremely expensive, features a lot of bells and whistles, and takes up a lot of space. The other’s a bit cheaper and smaller, but to the naked ear, doesn’t seem to be much different in terms of quality. You might be persuaded to buy the bigger and more expensive one because, since it’s bigger and more expensive, it must work better. But it puts a serious dent in your bank account and is too big for your living room. And you might not even really be able to tell how well the sound’s working. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ChallengingAssumptions #Post-PurchaseRationalizationRussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #PeterHollins #ArtandScienceofSelf-Growth Challenging Assumptions,Post-Purchase RationalizationRussell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Peter Hollins,Art and Science of Self-Growth
This chapter will teach you how to be a witty comeback machine. If you’re the kind of person who thinks of smart replies twenty minutes after a conversation ends, the techniques laid out here will help you come up with them much quicker. It’s a matter of thinking non-literally, non-conventionally, and non-linearly, and realizing that a conversation is an opportunity for play rather than information dissemination. If someone is teasing you, there are two methods you can use which will help you come up with a witty comeback. You can either take the thing they’re teasing you about and exaggerate it to the point of absurdity, or point out a funny, but the positive side effect of that thing you’re being teased about. While delivering comebacks, it's important to use the right tone and act like you can take a joke. Nobody likes a bad sport, and you’ll want to indicate that you’re joking through your demeanor and expressions. Smile wryly after saying your comeback, and use a tone that conveys indifference rather than annoyance. The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic By Patrick King Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Comeback #Krabs #MrKrabs #SpongeBobSquarePants #WittyComebackMachine #TheWittyComebackMachine #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Comeback,Krabs,Mr Krabs,SpongeBob SquarePants,Witty Comeback Machine,The Witty Comeback Machine,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Peter Hollins,Art and Science of Self-Growth
We also wait for people to take action because of the symbolic value we assign to things. We believe other people’s symbolic value matches ours, which should inform their actions. But this is again projecting onto other people and depending on them to read our minds. We also can’t subtly try to condition people into feeling the same symbolic value as us. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Harville #Hendricks #Misunderstanding #Pavlov #SymbolicValue #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Harville,Hendricks,Misunderstanding,Pavlov,Symbolic Value,They Should Have KnownRussell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Peter Hollins,Art and Science of Self-Growth
We can change our core beliefs by slowly reworking our self-narratives. We can do this by accepting our negative emotions with self-compassion and curiosity before we gently rewrite our stories. Avoid the temptation to compare yourself to others, especially if you are active on social media. Places like Instagram make you feel bad about your life because you’re constantly subjected to a barrage of updates with all of your friends posting about their successes, vacations, etc. However, it is important to remember that nobody posts their failures and dull moments and that their reality is likely to be much closer to your own. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Self-Compassion #IntentionalThinking #Howtochangeyourself-defeatingnarratives #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #PeterHollins #ArtandScienceofSelf-Growth
Self-Compassion,Intentional Thinking,How to change your self-defeating narratives,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Peter Hollins,Art and Science of Self-Growth
Finally, in case all else escapes your mind, there are three incredibly helpful acronyms that can assist you in never running out of things to say on the fly. These are: HPM, SBR, and EDR. HPM stands for History (your personal experience with the topic), Philosophy (your opinion on the topic), and Metaphor (what the topic makes you think of). SBR stands for Specific (more detail on the topic), Broad (broader context of topic), and Related (related topics). EDR stands for Emotion (the emotions the topic evokes in the other person), Detail (more detail on the topic), and Restatements (restating the topic to prompt greater elaboration). Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
HPM #EDR #HPM #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BetterSmallTalk #HelpfulAcronyms #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
HPM,EDR,HPM,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Better Small Talk,Helpful Acronyms,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
Existence and identity are deep topics. One is reminded of Descartes’ immortal declaration of “I think, therefore I am.” In a way, that’s where we are headed in this chapter. The concept of personal identity makes you confront how you choose to define it, and also forces you to think about how you choose to define yourself. We start with the thought experiment of Theseus’ Ship, which asks you to evaluate at which point a ship is still that same ship if you continually remove its components, and even more so if you remove the components and then replace them with entirely different ones. So it forces you to consider what you use to construct an identity. Is it just the individual components? Is there something about a ship that can be more than the sum of its parts? And what about us—what makes us a particular person, and if removed from our physical body, what would we then become?
Eleatic #PlankbyPlank #ThoughtExperiments #RussellNewton #NewtonMediaGroup #Plato #Theseus #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching
Eleatic,Plank by Plank,Thought Experiments,Russell Newton,Newton Media Group,Plato,Theseus,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching
This chapter has a tall task—to get you to think about your thinking. When we’re not engaging in what is known as metacognition, it’s easy to veer off the path of clear thought. You must become aware of your thought patterns and where you tend to stray. Watch yourself and try to evaluate what’s happening inside your brain. This process begins with System 1 and 2 thinking, as conceived by Daniel Kahneman. System 1 thinking is quick, instinctual, and decisive—and also often incorrect. System 2 thinking is measured, calm, and analytical—and far slower and more difficult. Unfortunately, the brain operates on the principle of least resistance, so while System 1 thinking is first and foremost, we want to get into the habit of System 2 thinking on a consistent basis. The easier and more familiar a task becomes, the more instinctual and quick it can be, so the way to clearer thinking is consistent repetition and practice. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmgAwareness
DanielKahneman #JamesJoyce #System1Thinking #System2Thinking #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #PracticalIntelligence #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Awareness,Daniel Kahneman,James Joyce,System 1 Thinking,System 2 Thinking,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Practical Intelligence,Russell Newton, NewtonMG,
Frames are a different way to imagine listening styles. Frames are much more fluid, and simply ask you to consider what someone’s overall goals or the purpose for the interaction is. What is theirs, what is yours, and do they match? If not, utilize your new understanding and make them match. An easy way to think about frames is in terms of an acting scene. All the actors are on the same page, working toward the same goal, and trying to capture an emotional payoff. What happens if one of the actors wants to wing it for a bit, and expound on their character’s love of the sea? Nothing good. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #PeterHollins #TheArtandScienceofSelf-Growth #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Peter Hollins,The Art and Science of Self-Growth,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,
Your perception is biased. How you understand the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps are called cognitive biases. They seek to create a story out of as little information as possible, in order to avoid uncertainty. Battling cognitive biases involves being able to tell stories in reverse, slow down, and shift your focus to questions instead of declaratory statements. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #CognitiveBiases #AvailabilityHeuristic #Gambler'sFallacy # Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Cognitive Biases,Availability Heuristic,Gambler's Fallacy,
There are many different reasons why so many of us have poor boundaries, to begin with. One of the most common ones is suffering from childhood trauma, as this is where beliefs are formulated and solidified, for better or worse. Children who did not feel safe growing up or had their boundaries routinely violated are bound to internalize the lack of self-worth that others have projected onto them. Our cultures in general also tend to valorize sacrifice and martyrdom at the expense of personal happiness. Though we may have been disadvantaged in terms of learning about boundaries, it is nevertheless important to recognize that enforcing and communicating boundaries is solely our responsibility. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EstablishingBoundaries
Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Establishing Boundaries,
The mental block of self-doubt can show up in the form of imposter syndrome, where we choose to listen to our negative self-belief rather than the objective evidence of our success. We could be the best at what we do, yet some of us suffer from a nagging suspicion that our successes are a result of pure chance, and that fate, not merit, has made us successful. As such, you might fear being discovered for the incompetent self you really are. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ImposterSyndrome #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SelfNarrative #selftalk #ThinkwithIntention
Imposter Syndrome,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,SelfNarrative,selftalk,Think with Intention,
We haven’t, however, looked into what is really the glue that binds people to you. When it comes down to it, what are the things that really make a person likable? Think about the people you have known and liked. Why did you like them? Why do you think others like you? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AmyCuddy #CaptivatePeople #SusanFiske #highcompetence #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SocialIntelligence #TriggerSocialStatus #Warmth
Amy Cuddy,Captivate People,Susan Fiske,high competence,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Social Intelligence,Trigger Social Status,Warmth,
Analytical riddles are more challenging than situational ones because instead of shifting perspectives, they require you to carefully analyze information to arrive at conclusions. This is the classic comparison of divergent versus convergent thinking. It might be easier depending on your proclivities, but often, the devil is in the details. Five men are walking together when it starts to rain. Four of them start walking quickly, while the fifth doesn’t. Yet he stays dry, and the other four get wet. They all arrive at their destination at the same time. How? A window cleaner is cleaning windows on the twenty-fifth floor of a skyscraper when he slips and falls, yet isn’t harmed despite not wearing any safety equipment. How? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
FiveMen #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Riddle #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #LearntoThinkusingRiddles #BrainTeasers
Five Men,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Riddle,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Learn to Think using Riddles,Brain Teasers,
Children who don’t have control over their own bodies, personal space, emotions, or behavior may understandably feel confused and worthless, maybe even learning that they don’t deserve to fight for or demand better treatment. Such a child may grow into an adult who doesn’t even believe that they have a right to themselves, to say “no,” to want what they want. This can easily lead to a host of mental health problems, substance abuse, poor relationships, and more.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Boundaries #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EstablishingBoundaries
Boundaries,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Establishing Boundaries,
How do you ask for what you want? Well, you already know how. But we don’t for various reasons, the first of which is that they should have known. They should have been able to read our minds and understand and anticipate our needs. Yes, in fairy tales, but not in reality. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
action #altruism #assertiveness #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheArtofEverydayAssertiveness #SpeakUp #SayNo #SetBoundaries #TakeBackControl
action,altruism,assertiveness,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,The Art of Everyday Assertiveness,Speak Up,Say No,Set Boundaries,Take Back Control,
Finally, what’s half of half? 25 percent. What’s half of that? 12.5 percent. What happens when you get to infinitesimal numbers? Do you ever reach zero? Nope. But is that reflective of reality? Nope. That’s what Zeno’s paradoxes sought to explain: what seems to be apparent and obvious on paper often has no bearing to reality. Once again, the map is not the territory. Zeno’s paradoxes play out at the interface between math and life, between concept and reality. Importantly, they may show us how uncomfortable the fit really is: what can seem “intuitively” correct can be shown to be completely wrong mathematically, statistically or theoretically. Could it be that the conception of “infinity” itself is flawed, and so every story based on it will eventually contain strange paradoxes like these?
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Achilles #eleatic #Heisenberg #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Planck #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TrolleyProblem #Zeno #ThoughtExperiments
Achilles,eleatic,Heisenberg,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Planck,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Trolley Problem,Zeno,Thought Experiments,
Sometimes, despite knowing full well that we must create motion, we are unable to do it. Sometimes our minds go blank. The next couple of sections deal with this specifically—how can you think more quickly on your feet? This requires practice; no one who manages it consistently is truly born with such a quick wit. And so how do you practice it? With free association, by simply taking a word and naming a few words or concepts that it reminds you of. The important part is to train your brain’s quick response reflex and break through any mental filters you might possess. You can also choose two words and relate them with a brief story, or flip to random words in the dictionary and use them to create a story.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BetterSmalTalk #ThinkonYourFeet #FreeAssociation
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Better Smal Talk,Think on Your Feet,Free Association,
Your perspective isn’t reality. It represents your subjective and unique worldview, but it’s not objective, it’s not reality, and it is destined to be skewed in terms of your experiences. Some of these experiences are solidified in what are known as schemas and heuristics, which are the frameworks you use to organize and understand the world.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
heuristic #JeanPiaget #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #schema #PerceptionIsn'tReality #TheArtofClearThinking
heuristic,Jean Piaget,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,schema,Perception Isn't Reality,The Art of Clear Thinking,
Let’s suppose you’re trying to learn how to play the guitar. You’re right-handed, but you’ve accidentally gone and bought a guitar for left-handers. This is not a recipe for success. That’s how we can think about the different types of listening styles that exist. We must match our style with that of other people if we are to have any hope for success. Though it can be said there are countless listening styles, it’s helpful to think in terms of four main styles: people (emotion), content (information), action (to-do list), and time (duration and frequency) orientations. For our purposes, we want to recognize which is our natural tendency, and then try to skew more toward the people/emotion style. This is because when people communicate outside of giving an order or organizing an outing, they are doing so to express an emotion. Go find it! Another way to delineate listening styles is to think in terms of head, heart, and hands. Head is all about thinking and planning, hands is all about doing and action, and the heart, well, that’s all about emotion and people’s well-being. Again, recognize where you are, and how to move toward people/emotion/heart styles of listening. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BenjaminBloom #Communication #LarryBarker #NewtonMediaGroupLLC #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TrueConnection
Benjamin Bloom,Communication,Larry Barker,Newton Media Group LLC,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,True Connection,
Throughout this book, we’ll use the formula “uncover, remove, reduce, and transform” to address these mental blocks and develop intentional thinking. We can tackle mental blocks by uncovering their cause, removing them by challenging our self-talk, beliefs and assumptions, reducing the impact these blocks have on our lives, and slowly transforming this part of ourselves into something beneficial.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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Asserting your boundaries can be a frightening and scary prospect, especially for those of us who have never done so before. We may be afraid of conflict, or terrified at the possibility of being disliked by others who might not agree with our boundaries. Despite the initial reluctance, it is nevertheless crucial for us to express and communicate with others things that are not acceptable to us. This helps us to develop a positive self-esteem and attract healthy relationships in our lives. We tend to think that boundaries make us selfish, that we won’t be well-liked by others if we enforce them, or that it is somehow overly demanding of others. None of these are true. Learning how to create and maintain boundaries is an important skill that is useful for everyone.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EstablishingBoundaries #HowtoProtectYourself #BecomeAssertive #TakeBackControl
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Establishing Boundaries,How to Protect Yourself,Become Assertive,Take Back Control,
A man in an open field lies dead with an unopened package next to him. No animal or human is around him. How did he die? A woman gives birth to two sons born in the same hour of the same day. But they aren’t twins. How? Finally, a woman shoots her husband, then holds him underwater for five minutes. Later, they go out for dinner and have a nice time. What happened? Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #UsingRiddles #SituationalRiddles #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Using Riddles,Situational Riddles,Learn to Think Using Riddles,
Studies have shown that the following four traits are desirable, attractive, and place people high in social hierarchies: dominance, prestige, warmth, and competence. The studies (one found dominance and prestige, and the other found warmth and competence) present what is a very logical set of traits for being cool, popular, likable, and of high social status. Just think about how these traits might function in a tribal setting, or as leader archetypes. When it comes down to it, we’re a simple species. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg Columbia University,dominance,Gil White,Noam Zerubavel,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Prestige,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Sensitivity,Social Sensitivity,
ColumbiaUniversity #dominance #GilWhite #NoamZerubavel #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Prestige #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Sensitivity #SocialSensitivity
Emotional blackmail is the dynamic that most frequently occurs to make you let things slide when you really shouldn’t. Even if there don’t appear to be forms of emotional blackmail (if you don’t do X, you will cause Y), the elements of FOG—fear, obligation, and guilt—will make you avoid speaking up. Sometimes it’s not all in your head, and the people around you are enabling your worst tendencies. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg Emotional Blackmail,John Bradshaw,Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Susan Forward,The Art of Everyday Assertiveness,
EmotionalBlackmail #JohnBradshaw #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #SusanForward #TheArtofEverydayAssertiveness
If you’re the kind of person who thinks of smart replies twenty minutes after a conversation ends, the techniques laid out here will help you come up with them much quicker. It’s a matter of thinking non-literally, non-conventionally, and non-linearly, and realizing that a conversation is an opportunity for play rather than information dissemination. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at Podcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheArtofWittyBanter
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,The Art of Witty Banter,
The infinite monkey theorem is just that—what happens when you put an infinite amount of monkeys into a room with typewriters? Well, the law of big numbers and probabilities dictate that eventually, they will produce a word for word script of any of Shakespeare’s plays. In truth, this is a nod to how anything is possible with enough inputs, and conversely, nothing is impossible with enough inputs. You can’t rule out anything that has a slight possibility or chance, and you must always account for everything that is possible. Something is possible from almost nothing. It doesn’t sound like a revelation, but it’s a more eloquent way of encouraging thoroughness and looking at the concept of randomness and serendipity. Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Borel #GCollingwood #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #DanOliver #Shakespeare #VALENTINE #Verona #ThoughtExperiments
Borel,G Collingwood,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Dan Oliver,Shakespeare,VALENTINE,Verona,Thought Experiments
How can you keep conversation, small talk especially, flowing smoothly when you don’t feel like you have anything to talk about? This is a challenge even with good friends sometimes. Most of the time, this feeling of stagnancy occurs because you are doing exactly that—stagnating—and nothing is being added or extracted from the interaction on either side. But there are several ways you can change that.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
HeroCycle #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Reference #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Shift #stagnation #BetterSmallTalk
Hero Cycle,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Reference,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Shift,stagnation,Better Small Talk,
Your brain, instincts, gut feelings, emotions, and hunches are all liars. They aren’t doing it on purpose, but they inherently function by jumping to conclusions, saving time, conserving energy, and valuing speed over accuracy. Their goal is to function on less information, and the less of it, the better. Not quite crystal-clear thinking. Your feelings and emotions have the ability to overpower you and completely color your thinking. But that’s confusing feelings for facts. They are entirely separate things. Reality is in fact neutral. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #phobia #reality #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TrustYourInstincts
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,phobia,reality,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Trust Your Instincts,
For a role model on how to draw information out of people, look no further than late-night talk-show hosts. Their sole job is to make a celebrity, often no funnier than you or I, appear immensely charming and intelligent. That’s a tough task sometimes. Think about the energy, focus, attention, and listening they employ to make this happen. That’s what is possible. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ConanOBrien #curiosity #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ListenWithIntention
Conan OBrien,curiosity,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Listen With Intention,
Imagine you’re at a get-together of friends and are introduced to someone new, and you strike up a conversation with them. You compliment them on their cool shirt, and they tell you how surprisingly cheap it was and what a good deal they got on it. You make a lighthearted comment about how it was probably made in a sweatshop somewhere, like so much of our clothing today. The other person laughs but says, “Well, let’s hope not. But, not all sweatshops are bad.” Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Assumptions #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PracticalIntelligence
Assumptions,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Practical Intelligence,
Intentional thinking is the conscious, willful control of your own thought processes so that you can actively direct your own life toward success. By thinking intentionally, you determine your own place in the world and gain control of your daily life.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #IntentionalThinking #ThinkwithIntention
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Intentional Thinking,Think with Intention,
Personal boundaries are limits we place for ourselves and others in our interactions with others. They define the kinds of behavior that we are both comfortable and not comfortable with. However, the process of setting up boundaries can go awry if we choose boundaries that are either too harsh or too permeable. For instance, rejecting intimacy altogether is a sign of the former, while being too afraid to speak up for yourself is an example of the latter.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ConditionalStatement #Overshare #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Boundaries #PersonalBoundaries #EstablishingBoundaries
Conditional Statement,Overshare,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Boundaries,Personal Boundaries,Establishing Boundaries,
Situational riddles are those that involve some bizarre circumstances that have taken place. Your job is to account for or explain why the situation materialized in that particular way by challenging assumptions one commonly holds. The lowest hanging fruit in terms of solutions or reasoning almost never applies, so it’s up to you to deduce what’s really going on.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BrainTeasers #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #problemsolving #QuickWit #Riddles #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ThinkMoreCreatively #UsingRiddles #Wordplay
Brain Teasers,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,problemsolving,Quick Wit,Riddles,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Think More Creatively,Using Riddles,Wordplay,
Our first dive into the finer points of social intelligence is all about how to be more likable and popular. If you think about this question in the context of evolution, you might assume it has to do with some kind of standing within a tribe. And to be quite honest, you’d be correct, and this shows how close we still are to our so-called primitive ancestors. On a humorous note, we can use high-schoolers as a proxy for these ancestors, because high-schoolers are far more concerned with social standing and status, and are somewhat less sophisticated in their evaluations of such.
A couple of the most powerful predictors in who will be likable and popular are the simple motivation and sensitivity to such factors. In other words, those who want to be popular, and also can tell the difference between popular and unpopular kids, will be successful. You can say the same about people wanting a better job, or wanting to learn to play the piano, for example—if they want to do it, and they are sensitive to what makes a good versus bad piano player, they surely stand a better chance—but it’s a bit surprising to hear that simple social standing and likability follows the same rules.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BiologicalPsychiatry #ColumbiaUniversity #DiannaMartinez #DrJohnKrystal #motivation #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #popularity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Biological Psychiatry,Columbia University,Dianna Martinez,Dr John Krystal,motivation,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,popularity,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,
This abbreviated version of cognitive behavioral therapy is effective—changing your thoughts by pointing out inaccuracies and correcting them. This is known as the BLUE process: “B” stands for blaming myself, “L” is looking for bad news, “U” means unhappy guessing, and “E” represents exaggeratedly negative thoughts. Once you identify which of those you are engaging in, you then replace the BLUE thought with a true thought—one representative of reality.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
AmyMorin #CBT #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BLUEYourThoughts #TheArtofEverydayAssertivness
Amy Morin,CBT,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,BLUE Your Thoughts,The Art of Everyday Assertivness,
Instant role-playing is a technique that you can fall back on. This is perhaps one of the easiest tricks mentioned so far. The trick generally involves both of you taking up some generic roles and playing them out for comedic relief. There are four steps to consider here. First, compliment the other person on some quality that they have, like being a great navigator. Then, assign them a role based on this quality, say being like Magellan. This is the role they’ll play, that of a renowned navigator. Simply follow this up with interesting questions about navigation (“Which continent did you enjoy discovering most?”) and pull them into the role play.
Questions or comments regarding the podcast?
Email the show at KingPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment
Or send us an email at KingPodcast@newtonmg.com
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RolePlay #RussellNewton #NewtonMG
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Role Play,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,
The infinite is one of the most confusing concepts to grasp. The truth is, in reality, things beyond a certain point of frequency or amount (even money) cease to hold any meaning for us. We just can’t imagine or visualize them, and thus they become meaningless. And yet, playing with this concept and understanding it a little better will help stretch your thinking and expand your mind. Taking a subject out of the ether and examining it in a reality-based and consequential way can help you extract a few lessons on extremely big, and extremely small, probabilities, and understand why a mathematical construct like 1/3 cannot truly be expressed as a decimal.
Any discussion of the infinite must begin with the thought experiment of Lucretius’ spear. If you contend that the universe if infinite, and then you walk right up to the edge (first of all, what would the edge even constitute), and then you throw a javelin, then what would happen? Would it bounce off something? Would it disappear? Would it just keep sailing because the universe is indeed infinite? What exactly would take place? Thinking through this abstraction makes clear that we have to suspend reality sometimes and redefine what we think is possible. You might even find that you have been asking wrong questions all along by not accounting for what you didn’t consider.
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
BigBang #Godie #Heisenberg #Lucretius #LucretiusSpear #Mobius #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Schrodinger
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Of course, the tried and true way of directly getting deeper with people is to ask better questions. The simple truth is that most questions we use are surface level, and thus will only return surface-level responses. Here are a few guidelines for more piercing questions that will create more fertile ground for real substance: ask open-ended questions (don’t ask for facts, ask for the analysis and reaction associated with the facts), go beyond assumptions (what are you missing in your own analysis?), get all sides of the story (the more perspectives the better), use follow-up questions (don’t interject your own thoughts), get comfortable with dead air and in fact utilize it, and encourage people to come up with their own insights (so how did that change your opinion on things?).
Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
ArthurAron #DanielMenaker #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BetterSmallTalk
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Social Skills Coaching by Patrick King - a Newton Media Group production. It's December 2020.
This is Russell from Newton Media Group and Patrick King and I are going to take a little break from the regular podcast production schedule.
However, we're not going to leave you empty-handed this holiday season. Newton Media Group has a sister podcast to Social Skills Coaching entitled The Art and Science of Self Growth by Peter Hollins and during this holiday season, we're going to be presenting to you the Social Skills Coaching listeners some of the top episodes from the past year from Art
and Science of Self Growth. The show notes for these episodes will be abbreviated. But if you're looking for further information, you can always visit Newtonmg.com and choose the Art and Science of Self Growth from the drop down and you can find full episode transcripts there.
Of course, you can find further information from your podcast provider where instead of Social Skills Coaching, you'll want to search for the Art and Science of Self Growth by
Peter Hollins. We hope you enjoy these episodes.
Hope you have a great holiday season, and we'll talk to you back again in January.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home
Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.
Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Social Skills Coaching by Patrick King - a Newton Media Group production. It's December 2020.
This is Russell from Newton Media Group and Patrick King and I are going to take a little break from the regular podcast production schedule.
However, we're not going to leave you empty-handed this holiday season. Newton Media Group has a sister podcast to Social Skills Coaching entitled The Art and Science of Self Growth by Peter Hollins and during this holiday season, we're going to be presenting to you the Social Skills Coaching listeners some of the top episodes from the past year from Art
and Science of Self Growth. The show notes for these episodes will be abbreviated. But if you're looking for further information, you can always visit Newtonmg.com and choose the Art and Science of Self Growth from the drop down and you can find full episode transcripts there.
Of course, you can find further information from your podcast provider where instead of Social Skills Coaching, you'll want to search for the Art and Science of Self Growth by
Peter Hollins. We hope you enjoy these episodes.
Hope you have a great holiday season, and we'll talk to you back again in January.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home
Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.
Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Social Skills Coaching by Patrick King - a Newton Media Group production. It's December 2020.
This is Russell from Newton Media Group and Patrick King and I are going to take a little break from the regular podcast production schedule.
However, we're not going to leave you empty-handed this holiday season. Newton Media Group has a sister podcast to Social Skills Coaching entitled The Art and Science of Self Growth by Peter Hollins and during this holiday season, we're going to be presenting to you the Social Skills Coaching listeners some of the top episodes from the past year from Art
and Science of Self Growth. The show notes for these episodes will be abbreviated. But if you're looking for further information, you can always visit Newtonmg.com and choose the Art and Science of Self Growth from the drop down and you can find full episode transcripts there.
Of course, you can find further information from your podcast provider where instead of Social Skills Coaching, you'll want to search for the Art and Science of Self Growth by
Peter Hollins. We hope you enjoy these episodes.
Hope you have a great holiday season, and we'll talk to you back again in January.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home
Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.
Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Social Skills Coaching by Patrick King - a Newton Media Group production. It's December 2020.
This is Russell from Newton Media Group and Patrick King and I are going to take a little break from the regular podcast production schedule.
However, we're not going to leave you empty-handed this holiday season. Newton Media Group has a sister podcast to Social Skills Coaching entitled The Art and Science of Self Growth by Peter Hollins and during this holiday season, we're going to be presenting to you the Social Skills Coaching listeners some of the top episodes from the past year from Art
and Science of Self Growth. The show notes for these episodes will be abbreviated. But if you're looking for further information, you can always visit Newtonmg.com and choose the Art and Science of Self Growth from the drop down and you can find full episode transcripts there.
Of course, you can find further information from your podcast provider where instead of Social Skills Coaching, you'll want to search for the Art and Science of Self Growth by
Peter Hollins. We hope you enjoy these episodes.
Hope you have a great holiday season, and we'll talk to you back again in January.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home
Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.
Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Social Skills Coaching by Patrick King - a Newton Media Group production. It's December 2020.
This is Russell from Newton Media Group and Patrick King and I are going to take a little break from the regular podcast production schedule.
However, we're not going to leave you empty-handed this holiday season. Newton Media Group has a sister podcast to Social Skills Coaching entitled The Art and Science of Self Growth by Peter Hollins and during this holiday season, we're going to be presenting to you the Social Skills Coaching listeners some of the top episodes from the past year from Art
and Science of Self Growth. The show notes for these episodes will be abbreviated. But if you're looking for further information, you can always visit Newtonmg.com and choose the Art and Science of Self Growth from the drop down and you can find full episode transcripts there.
Of course, you can find further information from your podcast provider where instead of Social Skills Coaching, you'll want to search for the Art and Science of Self Growth by
Peter Hollins. We hope you enjoy these episodes.
Hope you have a great holiday season, and we'll talk to you back again in January.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home
Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.
Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Social Skills Coaching by Patrick King - a Newton Media Group production. It's December 2020.
This is Russell from Newton Media Group and Patrick King and I are going to take a little break from the regular podcast production schedule.
However, we're not going to leave you empty-handed this holiday season. Newton Media Group has a sister podcast to Social Skills Coaching entitled The Art and Science of Self Growth by Peter Hollins and during this holiday season, we're going to be presenting to you the Social Skills Coaching listeners some of the top episodes from the past year from Art
and Science of Self Growth. The show notes for these episodes will be abbreviated. But if you're looking for further information, you can always visit Newtonmg.com and choose the Art and Science of Self Growth from the drop down and you can find full episode transcripts there.
Of course, you can find further information from your podcast provider where instead of Social Skills Coaching, you'll want to search for the Art and Science of Self Growth by
Peter Hollins. We hope you enjoy these episodes.
Hope you have a great holiday season, and we'll talk to you back again in January.
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home
Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition.
Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Having an opinion is something we all do, but we must recognize that we often do it based on insufficient information and questionable evidence. An opinion is one thing, while forming a well-founded and defensible opinion is quite another. The latter, as Bertrand Russell writes, requires that you be wary of opinions which flatter your self-esteem. Imagine different biases and perspectives, look outside your immediate social circle, and question why an opposing opinion might make you react emotionally. It can be summed up with “Strong opinions which are lightly held.”
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Aristotle #BasicWritings #BertrandRussell #Munger #Opinions #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #WarrenBuffett #TheArtofClearThinking
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A conscious obstacle many people face is the feeling that the people they interact with are quite boring and have nothing worthwhile to say; thus, listening to them is not a good use of their time. Just reading that sentence, you should be able to spot a few flaws. If you think most people you run across are boring, you’re the boring one. You’re letting a prejudgment dictate your actions, and ruin your interactions. Instead, expect that you will find something fascinating and delightful, and that’s just what will begin to happen.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ListenwithIntention
Patrick King,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Listen with Intention,
One methodical way to seek truth and simulate curiosity is by embracing skepticism. No, it’s not about being cynical or simply refusing to believe what people tell you. Rather, it’s refusing to blindly believe what people tell you, and requiring evidence and facts. In this way, a skeptic is quite similar to a scientist utilizing the scientific method. No answer is required here, and only understanding is sought. Skepticism requires slowing down your thoughts and thinking like a scientist.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
cynicism #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #skeptic #skepticism #cynic #PracticalIntelligence
cynicism,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,skeptic,skepticism,cynic,Practical Intelligence,
Intentional thinking is the conscious, willful control of your own thought processes so that you can actively direct your own life toward success. By thinking intentionally, you determine your own place in the world and gain control of your daily life.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ThinkwithIntention
Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Think with Intention,
There are several different types of boundaries that one can have. These include physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, digital, time, and even energy boundaries. All of these various categories, however, reinforce the same message—that you are important and deserve to be respected. Whether this is with respect to your body, your feelings, your time, your sexual preferences, or something else, you have a right to demand what you desire in an appropriate manner.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #EstablishingBoundaries
Patrick King,Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Establishing Boundaries,
The first step is to identify the specifics of the problem you’re faced with. Following that, you need to evaluate the quality of the information available through research. Identify any biases you may have, and debate with yourself to recognize any holes in your logic.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #WarrenBerger #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles
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It has been hypothesized that the upper limit for our network we can keep in our minds is roughly 150 people, and this also springs from evolutionary patterns of behaviors. Before humans domesticated livestock and learned about agriculture and cultivating harvests, we were largely nomadic tribes, and these tribes naturally sustained a size of roughly 150 people. Obviously, this has changed in modern times, and it’s no small wonder that it’s been a confusing, anxious, and even depressing time for many of us, as the software for our brains hasn’t been updated in a few thousand years.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
RobinDunbar #Hutterite #Neolithic #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #Pleistocene #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Sociality #TheScienceofSocialIntelligence
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Too often, we feel like we must “let things go” for one reason or another. Are these reasons real or imagined? Important or irrelevant? Sometimes they appear important because of emotional blackmail, which is when there is an implicit threat that causes people to not assert themselves. There are four specific types of emotional blackmail threats: punisher, self-punisher, sufferer, and tantalizer.
There are four specific toxic beliefs that undermine your ability to be assertive. They are: (1) the belief that you live only to please and serve others, (2) the belief that you’re unworthy of love as you are, (3) the belief that asserting yourself means you’re a bad person, and (4) the belief that it’s always better to just go along with others.
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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If a conversation seems to be dying out or droning along, you might want to have some fallback stories to reinvigorate your interaction. These are extremely short incidents that you can narrate to get the other person’s opinion or ask how they’d react in the same situation. The emphasis here is on the discussion and opinion. For example, you can tell them about how a girl broke with stereotypes and proposed to her boyfriend, following it up with a question on what they’d do in a similar situation. This can spark a surprising conversation.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
FallbackStories #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheArtofWittyBanter
Fallback Stories,Patrick King, Patrick King Consulting,Social Skills Coaching,Social Skills Coaching,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,The Art of Witty Banter
Next, we have Descartes’ demon problem. This can be said to go a step farther, as it assumes that it’s possible (a non-zero chance, to be sure) that a demon is possessing you and causing you to reason and analyze incorrectly or unreliably. Thus? We can’t trust ourselves. We can only look at evidence and build from there.
Finally, we come to a short parable and thought experiment that Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi put forth: the butterfly dream. If Zhuangzi dreamt that he was a butterfly, and his dream seemed so genuine as to be reality, who’s to say that in his current life as a human, he is not just a butterfly dreaming that he is here? And again, how can we ever be sure, even about our very existence? You already know the answer, and how that should affect your approach to thinking.
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Descartes #LaoTzu #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Taoism #Taoist #Zhuangzi #LearntoThinkUsingThoughtExperiments
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Sometimes people will lower their guards without even intending to if they find a kind ear that’s willing to listen intently and let them voice their inner thoughts. Listening is a skill that should be taught from childhood, but it’s not, so we are left with all sorts of ineffective listening habits. We are all also naturally self-absorbed, which highlights the importance of listening as a skill to make others feel good about an interaction. While there are various methods to listen better, having a listening mindset is by far the most important part: it’s not about you, focus on the other person, and if they said something, there’s a reason—explore that.
Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
acknowledge #collaboration #congratulation #conversation #DaleCarnegie #interrupting #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #BetterSmallTalk #SocialSkillsCoaching
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Along with the ego, there are a few notable obstacles to pursuing truth and clarity of thought. They are intellectual laziness (I can’t be bothered to understand or research this, so I will accept anything), willful ignorance (I reject and deny that there is something further to understand), and adherence to sacred cows (that topic or stance is simply irrefutable truth; I refuse to question it).
It’s easy to tell someone who is intellectually honest versus dishonest. It’s all about how arguments contrary to their view are processed. The intellectually honest focus on understanding and following the evidence where it leads. The intellectually dishonest focus on a narrative that they want to preserve, and become defensive and sometimes outright hostile. The intellectually honest are able to answer questions directly and without justification; the intellectually dishonest must provide explanations, roundabouts, and deflections. Usually, it’s clear that there is something being substituted for evidence that shouldn’t be.
Having an opinion is something we all do, but we must recognize that we often do it based on insufficient information and questionable evidence. An opinion is one thing, while forming a well-founded and defensible opinion is quite another. The latter, as Bertrand Russell writes, requires that you be wary of opinions which flatter your self-esteem. Imagine different biases and perspectives, look outside your immediate social circle, and question why an opposing opinion might make you react emotionally. It can be summed up with “Strong opinions which are lightly held.”
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
Aristotle #BertrandRussell #Buddha #JackNicholson #LinjiYixuan #Munger #NicolausCopernicus #Opinions #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #PaulMcCartney #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #WarrenBuffett
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There are many unconscious ways we wrest control over a conversation and become a conversational narcissist. This is simply when someone speaks so much that it appears to be a monologue versus a shared dialogue. One subtle way this occurs is through support versus shift responses, where the feeling you impart to others can hinge on a single vocabulary choice. The underlying theme, however, is to accept letting go of control, pride, and ego, and go wherever someone else wishes to go.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
CharlesDerber #conversation #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #ListenwithIntention #ConversationalNarcissist #UnconciousObstacles
Practical intelligence is another way of saying common sense, but we all know that common sense truly is not so common. One of the key lessons to learn with practical intelligence is that nothing is what it seems at first glance. The world doesn’t readily reveal itself nakedly to you, so it’s up to you to look beneath the surface to understand what you see. We want to do this, but we are too often driven by certainty and speed instead of actual truth.
The first and most natural way to probe below the surface is through cultivating curiosity. There are five types of curiosity, each of which can be said to be a motivation for asking questions: joyous exploration, deprivation sensitivity, stress tolerance, social curiosity, and thrill-seeking. However, curiosity will rarely come easily or naturally, especially about things that we don’t have an innate interest in. So we need to generate that same approach through other methods.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
CentralPark #deprivation #GeorgeMasonUniversity #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching # #RichardBranson #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #Shakespeare #thrillseeking #ToddBKashdan #PracticalIntelligence
There are several different types of boundaries that one can have. These include physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, digital, time, and even energy boundaries. All of these various categories, however, reinforce the same message—that you are important and deserve to be respected. Whether this is with respect to your body, your feelings, your time, your sexual preferences, or something else, you have a right to demand what you desire in an appropriate manner.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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The most important tool that helps solve riddles is divergent thinking. This form of thinking demands that you survey and analyze all possible solutions to any given problem. In its opposite, convergent (or critical) thinking, we generally operate within a set of rules and use them to work our way to arrive at answers. However, in divergent thinking, the rules are immaterial, and we must explore any and all relevant solutions.
Other important tools include lateral thinking, which involves studying how we infer something from information given to us. Systems thinking calls on you to look at the bigger picture, namely how components of any idea or solution fit with one another to form a coherent whole. Lastly, inspirational thinking requires you to gain insight from some source, like a peak experience or an altered state of consciousness. This type of thinking lets our unconscious mind solve problems for us, allowing our conscious selves to benefit from it.
Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
convergent #creativity #critical #deduction #evaluate #induction #inference #insight #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #riddle #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #LearntoThinkUsingRiddles
The social brain hypothesis states that human brains evolved and became bigger in order to be more social, not the other way around. Furthermore, the theory states that increasing the capacity for communication about a wide range of subjects was the only reason that brains grew.
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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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Write the personal bill of rights down and post it on a wall in your room. These are rights, not privileges or luxuries. It’s easy to forget until someone snaps you out of it. Right from the outset, you might feel that you’re becoming someone that’s mean and “not nice.” But that’s because your definition of “nice” has become skewed over the years.
Too often, we feel like we must “let things go” for one reason or another. Are these reasons real or imagined? Important or irrelevant? Sometimes they appear important because of emotional blackmail, which is when there is an implicit threat that causes people to not assert themselves. There are four specific types of emotional blackmail threats: punisher, self-punisher, sufferer, and tantalizer.
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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The fourth wall is a term in television, movies, and plays where the character steps out of his role and addresses the audience directly. Think of it as an actor being surrounded by three walls on the stage. There are, of course, the back wall and the two side walls. The fourth wall is the space directly in front of the actor. When the actor speaks directly to the audience, he is breaking the fourth wall.
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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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Next, we delve into a thought experiment that you are already familiar with. It’s called the brain in a vat experiment, and it closely mirrors (or rather, the other way around) the premise for the movie The Matrix. What if we are all indeed just brains in vats of liquid, being externally fed a lifetime of experiences and nutrients? How could we ever know the difference unless we were physically shown the jar? And then how could we know that this vision was also true and unfiltered and untampered with? We can’t. And that’s the point. There’s more uncertainty, even to our very nature, and we again should cease all assumptions and think and question more thoroughly.
Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing
For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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Certainly one of the easiest ways to get into someone’s good graces is to compliment quickly and freely. This is ground zero for flattery and making people light up with a smile. If you think about it, you probably have positive thoughts about people running through your head all day, so there’s no reason not to simply give voice to them. We just tend to fixate on sneer-worthy aspects more than we like.
Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Converstaions, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King
Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg
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One of clear thinking’s biggest opponents is the ego. This is when an argument, stance, or opinion is supported not by evidence, but by pride, the need to be right, and the desire to avoid shame and embarrassment. Ego keeps us deaf and blind if we allow it to. It serves a purpose, but very quickly becomes detrimental to your evaluation of the world, as it has the power to warp reality around you. The most prominent defense mechanisms we use are rationalization and plain old denial.
Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking
Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home
For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg