Keep Your Courage: Recent Episodes
Sarah Sandifer
For the military wives who are overwhelmed, who are exhausted, who are lonely or scared or stressed, who keep going but sometimes need to be reminded how, exactly, to keep going. Consider this podcast your weekly reminder: You’re not alone and you’re gonna make it. Sarah Sandifer guides you into a way of living military life where you keep your courage no matter what, so that even in the chaos you have a strong center that holds.
This time of year, you might be aware that this season is supposed to be the season of hope, peace, joy, and love... but you can't quite see it. Even in the dark seasons, there's a way to get through. Listen in.
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Chances are that you might be entering the holiday season already weary. Maybe you just moved and the dust is still settling. Maybe you have a new job or a new baby or a new life rhythm and it's hard to imagine how you're going to keep going... and yet you must. How do you begin a season when you're already tired? Well, I have some thoughts and a few ideas that might help. Listen in.
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
Find Sarah on Instagram
It’s so easy to see whatever on-ramping season you’re in right now as the transitional period you have to live in in order to get you to THAT place in your life when it feels more settled or you have your group of friends or the baby is a little bit older or you find that elusive work/life balance and things buff out a little, but there's a better way to make it through these days. We'll talk all about it.
Sign up for Sarah's substack letter!
Find Sarah on Instagram
Sometimes life feels like you're in the middle of the miracle. And then sometimes it feels like you got walloped by a curveball. What do you even do with that? Listen in, we talk all about it.
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sometimes it can feel like nobody understands the toll that the military life takes- the uncertainty, the demands from constant interruptions, how many people need us but we need to keep going even when our own heart is broken.
If you feel alone, unseen, like maybe no one understands what it's really like to live as a military wife, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
One of the most common experiences I hear from military wives is best summarized with “I’m just trying to get through today.” Not all, but so much of military life is lived in those threadbare places- overwhelmed from a move, exhausted in the middle of a deployment, stressed from finding work or parenting solo or longing for friends. It’s hard to get perspective when your right-now life demands so much. When we have those moments- what do we do? How do we make it? I have some stories, some thoughts, and some questions to encourage you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
I bet I'm not the only one where my life doesn't necessarily look the way I thought it would or fit in a neat and tidy box. There's so much about military life that forces us into creativity- to look at something in a new way to see how it has actually been serving us or how we have been serving others. As hard as it is, I think this is a good thing. Let me show you what I mean. Listen in. Find Sarah on Instagram! Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
There's so many seasons of life, and especially in military life, when stressors aren't necessarily going to disappear. We can't exactly control any of that. But there are some things we can control, and today's episode might give you something you need to make it through your next stressful moment. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sign up to receive Sarah's monthly letter
If proximity builds connection, what do we do when so much of our military marriage is spent not in proximity to each other? Is it still possible to to have a strong connection and marriage? I fully believe it does, and I want you to experience it, too.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter
Related episodes:
Episode 83: How a Broken Marriage Can Be Strong
Episode 52: Building a Strong Marriage in a Stressful Life
Episode 23: Know Your Spouse's World
It's not always easy or simple to build community and I know how it feels if it's been lonely and hard. But I have found my save-my-life girls by showing up again and again with the determined belief that my girls are out there. Let's talk about making friends in the military life.
Sign up for Sarah's monthly letter!
Find Sarah on Instagram
Related Episodes:
Episode 6: Pray Small
In this hard military life, the most important way I have found to make it through is by finding connection with others. But it's also so, so important to remain connected with your own self, stay in tune with your desires and purpose and passion in life and make sure you're playing the note you're supposed to play. I have also found this is the piece of milso life that is most easily lost as we move so much and keep the ship afloat on behalf of our family. What do we do with that? We explore all of it here.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Related Episodes:
Episode 94: Maybe This is Why You're Exhausted
Episode 34: Rethink Your Vocation
Episode 21: Remember Who You Are (and find her again if you've lost her)
The thing about being a mom is that we give our kids what they need- even if we might need the same exact thing ourselves. But sometimes, the reassurance that we need to make it through a hard time comes in the most unlikely of places. Listen in and I'll show you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
In this military life especially, we are faced with so many opportunities where we don't control our own future or don't know what's coming next. In other words, we need to trust that it's going to be okay a lot. On my better days, I am able to do this with an adventurous and open heart. On my not better days, I hate it. You might be feeling the instability of this life right now in one way or another - listen in if you need encouragement that something is going to catch you when you fall.
Other episodes mentioned: Episode 99 - What To Do When We Can't See What's Next
Find Sarah on Instagram!
If you’re feeling a little threadbare from being a military spouse, if you need encouragement from the real side of military life, or if you can feel yourself spinning in anxiety or uncertainty or chaos or just plain overwhelm, you’re not alone and you’re in the right place. Listen in for a little extra boost in finding support to remain- or become- strong.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I really think we’re given such an opportunity in this military life: We are asked to go through some of the very hardest things a marriage can go through, but because of that, it can build some of the very strongest bonds a marriage can have. Let's talk about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I think I've gone through the whole spectrum of New Year experiences- the hope and fresh start that a new year brings, all the way on down to complete cynicism when it feels like we have no control over our life anyway? How then, do we move forward when both are maybe a little bit true? I have some ideas. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
As we walk toward Christmas, there's going to be a lot of ways we experience the mixture of darkness and light. Our work? Find the light.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We get to meet so many different incredible people through all of our military assignments. Have there been friendships in your life that have been a constant thread for you no matter the time or distance? We talk about why this is so important!
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Happy 100 episodes! In this special episode, we talk about the question "If you could give your younger self who is just entering the military one piece of advice, what would that be?" So many of you sent in your own answers as well as hundreds of other spouses and so in this episode we talk about what is something you wish you had known as you began this journey in the military? Listen in for what you wish you had known too, or maybe some hard-won wisdom that might help you!
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The military life causes us to reckon with how much we don't know about our future when we're not the ones deciding our future. There's so much uncertainty with our spouses' jobs, assignments, moves, a world in crisis. But are we the only ones who can't see what's next? Here's what we do about it. Listen in. Find Sarah on Instagram!
Military life asks so much of those who serve in it and marriages have to endure a lot of time apart. There's so many experiences we have without each other and it can be hard to bridge the gap. What if we could use the military life as a tool to push us closer together though rather than farther apart? Let's talk about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
If you pay attention to it, I bet you'll notice a lot of us using language around sinking: On a really hard day of a deployment, a text comes in: I'm drowning / Chatting with a friend at a park and she confesses: January sunk me / Talking with girlfriends over a group chat: We're all just trying to keep our heads above water. Well, I have some thoughts on how we might actually be able to stay afloat: It's by finding our balance. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
What if we could be the type of people who saw someone going through something hard- and then did something about it? People have done that for me, and so now I know how to do that for others. That's the thing about living a hard life like the military life- you know what it's like to hurt so you can then be with others in their hurting. I have a really great way to show up for others this week- listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
There are so many moments in the military life when you have hit capacity and have done absolutely all you can do. But because of the typical non-stop nature of military life- you have to do it again. Whether it's mothering, moving, or just making it through a day, we do all we can do and then we do it again.
If you're like me and need some encouragent in making it in this pace? Listen in. This episode is just for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We weren't designed to live by the military's pace and standards and stoicism, and yet because of the nature of our life we tend to operate by it by default. What if there's another way to live within this exhausting pace? Because I think we are all exhausted right now. I have some thoughts about why, and what we can do about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Here we are, at the beginning of something. A new assignment, a new deployment, a new school year, a new baby, a new job, re-integration, and on and on. In this military life, odds are that something has changed for you and you are maybe trying to figure out how to be you within this new normal. It has everything to do with knowing what is ahead of you and what you can do right now. Not 5 years ago, not next month, but right now. I'll tell you all about it. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
This is our last week of the summer series where we have been re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage from the year. And so today, we experience this military life as one in which we live a life on behalf of others in so many ways. One surprising way I have experienced this? The power of this sisterhood of military wives and friends who show me what it looks like to live a life that is so brave and gritty that it has a ripple effect onto my own life. I need to see other women live this hard life well because it makes me believe that I can be it and become it, too. This all makes such a difference, I hope you'll listen and see.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 75: See a Hard Moment in a New Way
For this summer we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage from the year - the episodes that form the pillars of what we are about around here. And so today, as we live a life that can take you past any limits you thought you had and asks you to do more than you thought you could do, you learn in those moments how much you need others in the ring with you. Is this how we discover that the hard life can actually be a good life? I think so. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For the summer we are revisiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage from the year - the episodes that form the pillars of what we are about around here. And so today- while the military life is as hard as it is, it does give us lots of opportunities to need to rely on other people to help get us through. But something happens along the way that feels a little close to a miracle - we could be going through the hardest time of our lives, but because we had someone in the ring with us, we make it through. And then can even sometimes look back on that season with fondness. How? And how do you get there with a new friend? Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 2: Remember What It's Like
For the summer, we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage from the year - the episodes that form the pillars of what we are about around here. And so today- when fear and overwhelm and and loneliness and resentment can be loud in the military, I want love and courage to be the loudest voices in the room instead. Today's episode is all about how to make that happen. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned in this episode:
Episode 32: The story of our family's return to the military
For the summer, we are going to re-visit some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage this year - the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here. And so today, when sometimes this military life makes it feel like our whole world is coming apart underneath us- well, those are the exact moments God asks us to trust him. And it turns out, those are the exact times that build the strength we need to get through those exact kind of times.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For the summer, we are going to re-visit some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage this year- the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here. And so today, as we military are ones who keep going- What then, do we do about when we actually can't keep going any longer? I think today's episode might be exactly what you need.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For the summer, we are going to re-visit some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage from this year- the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here. And so today, as we build our military marriages, we know that sometimes what connects us needs to be stronger than being able to reach out and grab their hand. Let's talk about it.
There are so many reasons why and how things could be changing for any of us this summer from deployments to moves to people moving around you to new unit leadership and the list goes on. We deal with a lot of change in the military life- but there are ways we can get through it better and well. I'll tell you some ideas here.
Listen to Sarah on Instagram!
We military wives tend to be tough. We are strong women- because we need to be. But what if strength can look different ways? And what if there was another way to be strong? I think today's episode could completely change your mindset.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We military wives can be a strong and feisty and independent bunch- which are good characteristics in a hard life like the military. But what if we could allow these hard things to make us tender and broken as well? This could be the exact thing our marriages need to get closer together. Listen in to hear what I mean.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
It's fair to say a lot of us have a lot of questions right now that we would love some answers to. We have a lot of things stressing us out right now that we would love some clarity on. If you're in a season where it feels uncertain and you'd love to know how it's all going to work out and what to do next, this episode is just for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Most of us know what it's like to have to move and be the new girl, with new people who don't know our life stories. The exhaustion from having to tell all of your stories again is a real thing, especially when they were hard ones from previous assignments that these people weren't a part of. There's something magic about military gals though, and I think seeing new military communities this way could make all the difference as we make new friends in each military assignment.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Within the military, I can basically guarantee that at some point you will move or at some point you have moved- away from home, to a new home. If that's a little confusing to you, it is to me, too- Can you have more than one place that is home? Is home where you are or where you've been?
If you are feeling all the ways about having to move a lot, about having to start over, about wondering how in the world do you make a new place feel like home when you're still grieving the loss of your last home, then this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
One of our greatest fears about this military life is if we're asking too much of our kids to live this hard life that they didn't have a choice in living. It builds resilience in them, yes, but what if it's too hard? Well, here are some thoughts about parenting a resilient kid and how we actually do it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Related Episodes:
Episode 58: What if We Don't Want to be Resilient?
In the military, we live a life on behalf of others in so many ways. One surprising way I have experienced this? The power of this sisterhood of friends and military wives who show me what it looks like to live a life that is so full and so brave and gritty that it has a ripple effect onto my life. I need to see other women live this hard life well because it makes me believe that I can be it and become it, too. Sometimes we're the believer in someone else, sometimes we need someone else to believe in us. Does it make a difference? I think so. I hope you'll listen in and see.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 75: See a Hard Moment in a New Way
I think we all could write a book titled "Not How I Thought This Would Go!" as a result of our military lives. We military gals have gotten pretty good at adjusting. Maybe we could also adjust a little bit in our marriage too, when needed. Our spouses are gone sometimes, a lot of the time. Maybe we can learn to get creative in how we approach our marriage and instead of letting the change and separation be a place of bitterness, we can use it as an invitation to take what we can get and see it as an opportunity instead. I'll show you how.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 32: The Story of Our Family's Return to the Military
This military life pushes you fully into experiences that take you so far past any limits you thought you had, asking you to do more than you thought you could do. And it's in those moments that you realize you can't do this on your own- you need others in the ring with you. Is this how we discover the hard life can still be a good life? I think so. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Part of the wholehearted military life is not only feeling some of the things, but actually feeling all of the things- the good and the hard and learning how to live with it all. And my goodness in the military life, we are handed It All. If you're in a season of military life that feels like Level 10 stress all the time, if you're wondering if you can actually make it, the perspective shift in this episode might be just for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We in the military know exactly what it's like to have someone else determine much of how our life goes. And as common as it is in the military experience, it still makes me feel a certain kind of way. So much of our own lived life is out of our control... but what if that could be a good thing? If your life feels a little out of control, if you're waiting on orders, waiting for word on what comes next, waiting for someone else to make a decision that guides the way your whole life goes, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The military life is a hard one. And my goal is to help make it a little less hard. Because the world feels a little precarious right now, right? A lot are going through deployments, a lot have them on the horizon. A deployment is one of the hardest things we can endure in the military life. But I've found some ways over the years that help me get through deployments- if you need some encouragement on getting through yourself, listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned:
Keep Your Courage | Episode 68: Think This Instead
It always surprises me that it's often the small moments that add up over time that make me come the most undone. This is true. But what if there's a completely different perspective to have about small moments in this military life? What if it's the small moments that actually give us a structure upon which to build our life? Listen in for more.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The military life, as hard as it is, gives us lots of opportunities to need to rely on other people in order to get us through. But something happens along the way that feels a little close to a miracle- we could be going through the hardest time of our lives, but because we had someone in the ring with us, we make it through and can even sometimes look back on that season with fondness. How? And how do you get there with a new friend? Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Other episodes mentioned:
Episode 2: Remember What It's Like
I've noticed my ability to handle what we go through in the military has a direct connection to how connected I feel to my husband. He's the soldier but we're the team and we're in it together. Ideally. Because it doesn't always feel like we're actually in it together. I discovered a way, a small way, to help re-connect our marriage. If you need some encouragement from the real side of military marriage, this episode is just for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Here we are, military wives, some of us mothers too, living a chaotic and uncertain life ourselves, trying to tend to All The Needs of tiny humans who can't do it themselves yet. What if that situation that seems like it's driving you to the absolute end of yourself is actually an invitation to deeper connection? If you need a little encouragement on how in the world to mother children in the midst of military life, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
It kinda feels like we're all being pretty shaken right now. From deployments to hard assignments to loneliness to waiting on orders, the military world feels kinda tender and hard. Instead of focusing on all of those hard things though that can lead to fear and anxiety and overwhelm, try focusing on what I offer in this episode. I think it just might help.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
James Bryan Smith Things Above podcast
Around here, we talk about what we can do to build a strong center that holds, and this concept- of being good to your own self is a central piece to that. Sometimes though, it's hard to even know how to do that- like, how to actually logistally, physically get through these hard things while trying to take care of ourselves too. We talk all about that in this episode.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Mentioned in this episode:
Episode 6: Pray Small
Episode 21: Remember Who You Are (And Find Her Again If You've Lost Her)
Episode 66: Be Good To Your Own Self
I know our tendencies. We are the ones who tend to everyone else before tending to our own selves. We show up to work right after our husband deployed so that we can take care of our clients or patients or students. We take care of sad and scared kids even though we're sad and scared, too. Are you as good at taking care of your own self as you are at taking care of others? Listen to this episode for a story, a question, and an idea about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I think I've run the whole gamut of new year experiences- the hope and fresh start that comes with a new year all the way on down to total cynicism about what's the point of even trying when we have no control over our life anyway? What if in this awareness of our lack of control though, is an invitation to a choice we can make instead? Listen in to see what I mean.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
In this Christmas season, my hope is that even when it's busy, these few minutes together can provide you with just a little reflection, a little time to re-center as you move throughout your day. This week we're talking about joy.
In this Christmas season, my hope is that even when it's busy, these few minutes together can provide you with just a little reflection, a little time to re-center as you move throughout your day. This week we're talking about love.
In this Christmas season, my hope is that even when it's busy, these few minutes together can provide you with just a little reflection, a little time to re-center as you move throughout your day. This week we're talking about peace.
I think a lot of us are walking into Advent with a limp. A lot of us are exhausted, threadbare, but it's not like world events get put on pause to allow us to be still and actually pause to ponder the season of Advent. It's not like units stop training, or a PCS is halted for a little bit. Maybe what we need right now- is hope.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I don't think I'm the only one in this zone right now, but I feel like I can speak for all of us when I say: We Are Exhausted. Can you feel it? The collective exhaustion? The individual absolutely tapped-out overwhelm? And yet we keep going. How, though? I have some ideas on what we all might need today.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Episode 12: Build the Community You Need
Fear can be loud in the military. Overwhelm can be loud in the military. Insecurity and loneliness and resentment can be loud in the military. I want love and courage to be the loudest voices in the room instead. Today's episode is all about how we can make that happen. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Episode 32: The Story of Our Family's Return to the Military
Resilience is no longer the Power Word that it once was for me, because I can't hear that word without thinking of what it cost to acquire it. And so the word resilience? That word? It doesn't make me feel strong- it makes me feel exhausted. Resilience is a hallmark of the military community- but what if there was another way?
Find Sarah on Instagram!
It's one thing to talk about hard things in the past tense- like, this is what I went through and this is what I learned. It's an entirely other thing to talk about hard times while you are in the middle of hard times. It feels extra vulnerable. But what if that's the whole point?
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sometimes we hit a hard season and we know the things that help- we know the rhythms that have worked before, the best pratices that help get us through- but nothing is helping. Sometimes this military life causes us to go through something that is just hard and we're tapped out - what do we even do then? We talk all about this experience in this episode.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I think it's the "Just Keep Going" part about this military life that can feel so hard sometimes. How in the world do you keep going when you feel so depleted and at the end of yourself but you still just have to keep going. I don't like feeling disconnected from myself during these kinds of seasons. I have some thoughts about how to re-connect back to the center of who you are, even in the midst of a stressful time.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
All of us military wives know what it's like to miss our person but then to also have to fill all the roles that they normally fill when they're around. The need for us to be a lot can be, well, a lot. How do we even do it? Let's talk about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram
Sometimes this life makes it feel like our whole world is coming apart underneath us. Well, those are the exact moments God asks us to trust him. And it turns out, those are the exact times that build the strength we need to get through those exact kind of times.
We experience such strong community with other military wives who are going through the same hard things as we are. I wonder, do we see our marriages the same way? Is it possible for these hard things we go through to be an opportunity to get closer in our marriage? Let's talk about it.
We are the military wives who keep going no matter what. What then, do we do about those times when we actually can't keep going any longer? I think today's episode just might be exactly what you need.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We know that one of the harder parts of this military life is that every 2-3 years we have to pack up and be the new girl. Sometimes we begin again with a broken heart after a hard pcs, sometimes we don't want to find new friends at all, doubting you can find your people in a new place. Here's where we start: We do it anyway. Listen in for more.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
When we said our marriage vows, I thought the phrase "to have and to hold" was literal, that I would actually be able to hold him. But in our military marriages, we know that there's a lot of times that what connects us needs to be stronger than being able to reach out and grab their hand. Let's talk about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
This life forms us and shapes us, sometimes in ways we don't even realize. And here's the thing- it's forming and shaping our spouse in meaningful ways also. And our military friends, and our military neighbors. What would it look like for you to think about how you have been changed, and then ask someone in your life about their experience? It just might a building block to help you be more connected and have more strength to handle this life. I'll show you what I mean.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Here we are, at the beginning of something. Maybe the beginning of the school year for you, but it could be the beginning of a new assignment, or the beginning of a deployment, of the beginning of a season that could be really hard. How do we live this crazy life with a sense of self and purpose? We re-attach ourselves to life-giving attachments. I'll tell you what I mean here.
Find Sarah on instagram!
For 6 weeks this summer, we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage so far. These are the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here.
We talk about being military wives around here which, if you're like me you're incredibly proud of, but also sometimes? You wanna quit. Sometimes this life is just really hard, and the best way through is with Lane's gritty, hard-won wisdom to just Keep Not Quitting. Listen in for what I mean.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For 6 weeks this summer, we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage so far. These are the episodes that form the pillars of waht we're about around here.
In this military life, it can feel like you are always the one that has to adjust, laying your desires down for the greater cause. It can leave you feeling like you are the supporting actor in somebody else's story. I've felt my soul a little faded from putting myself last for the sake of the military, but I have also felt myself come back alive, find that zing from doing something I, myself, love. You can do the same.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For 6 weeks this summer, we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage so far. These are the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here.
No one ever told us how hard it would be to make friends as an adult. Throw in frequent moves and military life, and needing community but not having it is a common theme in military spouse life. It doesn't have to be. Showing up, being brave, and putting yourself out there is crucial. I'll show you how in this episode.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For 6 weeks this summer, we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage so far. These are the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here.
I’ve noticed that my ability to handle what we go through, what the military tosses at us, has a direct relation to how connected I feel to Lane at that moment. He’s the soldier, but we’re the team, and we’re in it together.
If you struggle with being a military spouse, if you need encouragement from the real side of military marriage and don’t really feel in it together, or if you just need a little boost to make it through today, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For 6 weeks over the summer, we are re-visiting some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage so far. These are the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here. So today, if you're in the middle of a day that you're not quite sure how you're going to make it through, if putting two coherent words together seems more than you're capable of, my goal is simple: Remind you of love and courage and offer you one simple way forward.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
For the next 6 weeks, we are going to re-visit some of my very favorite episodes of Keep Your Courage so far. These are the episodes that form the pillars of what we're about around here. So today, if you're new to town and need some encouragement in beginning again, if you're lonely and need a reminder that you too, are brave, then you're in the right place. This episode is just for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sometimes we think we're doing totally fine, and then sometimes we're surprised by our own reaction to something that shows us how much is below the surface. We are deeply impacted, formed and shaped by the military- which might sound obvious. But also it might not. Let's talk about it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Wouldn't it be nice if we were given some sort of predictable calendar about the stress of military life and when it's coming? But that's one of the hardest parts about this life- we don't know what's coming in any next moment. All we have is this moment- and we can use this moment to help us get ready for the next one. Let's use these moments, our own battle drills, to help us be ready when the hard moments come.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Any given one day can be overwhelming. But those one day at a times do, eventually, add up, and it is time to move on to the next thing. If you are preparing to close one chapter and move on to another, if at some point you will be the one to close one chapter and move on to another, I have a simple practice to share with you that has helped me and it just might help you, too.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I can basically guarantee that at some point in this military life you have moved or you will have to move away from home, to a new home. Which makes me reckon with the question- Is home where you were, or is it where you are? Maybe where you are right now feels like home, maybe it doesn't. Either way, if you ever have or ever will move with the military: This episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
A lot of the time stress from the military life comes from the relentless overwhelm of one big thing to the next, deployment into crisis into PCS. But also, sometimes our stress comes from what feels like the opposite- waiting. We actually wait a lot in the military life- we wait for him to come home, we wait for someone to file the paperwork, we wait to move to the next assignment. If you're in a season of waiting, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I would guess that your previous year was actually pretty wild, even if it just felt normal. Maybe it actually took a big toll on you even though you haven't realized it yet. Sometimes we need to tell ourselves the truth about what our life is like, and keep holding on no matter what. I'll tell you more in this episode.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We military wives can feel lost when so much of our family focus is on his career, we're constantly moving, making it hard to settle on down and pursue paths of our own. Here's what I'm going to tell you about it: What's lost can be found.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The more life I live, the more I realize how finding and having and keeping friends is so tricky. A lot of us feel lonely, a lot of us don’t know where to even start in making friends when we’re not 2nd graders playing on the playground anymore, most of us move so much it feels next to impossible to cultivate a community before we’re uprooted again,
Here’s what I’m going to say:
We do it anyway.
And it begins with showing up. I'll tell you how and why here.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I've told this story in pieces throughout this podcast, but it's time to tell the whole thing. When we served those initial 4 years in the military and then got out, we got out for good, putting down roots in a very non-military life. And here we are, very solidly back in the military and very definitively committed and loving it. So- what happened? What happened in that middle part of the story where we realized we needed to pivot, made the choice to pursue getting back in?
If you are in the middle of discerning a big decision, if you are curious about how to notice the movements of God, if you're not sure whether to pursue a change, or if it would help to hear how someone else made this decision to be in the military life, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Mothering in the middle of a deployment or a wild assignment or in the throes of a PCS or even just on a Wednesday is really, really hard. When you, yourself, are exhausted and still tending to the needs of tiny humans who are also exhausted- that's really hard. This is the episode where we talk about it. Find Sarah on Instagram!
We talk about being military wives around here which, if you're like me you're incredibly proud of, but also sometimes? You wanna quit. Sometimes this life is just really hard, and the best way through is with Lane's gritty, hard-won advice to just Keep Not Quitting. Listen in for what I mean.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The pace and demands of military life really do add up, but we rarely name it as hard because it's just so normal in the military. We have to be strong to handle this life, but being kind to our own self is just as important.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Going into this military life, we know it's going to be a hard life, right? But the phrase "hard life" doesn't really do justice to how shaky and tender and... well, hard, this life can be. Here are some thoughts about how to handle it.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The military life can be hard for all of the obvious reasons. Also? It can be hard on your connection with friends & family back home, non-military neighbors and colleagues understanding the demands of your military life. If you have ever felt misunderstood or unseen by someone near you, if you long for more connection, not less, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Any one day in the military life can be overwhelming, but what's also overwhelming? How no two days tend to look the same. A life of consistency? Forget about it. Let's talk about how to settle into a life that feels very unsettled. Find Sarah on Instagram!
I bet that there are some of you who have your own list of why you're feeling overwhelmed right now. In order to help get each other through, we need to get shoulder to shoulder with one another, letting each other know we are not alone. This is how.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Sometimes it can feel like nobody understands the toll that the military life takes- the uncertainty, the demands from constant interruptions, how many people need us, but we need to keep going even when our own heart is broken.
If you feel alone, unseen, like maybe no one understands what it’s really like to live as a military wife, this episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
There's so much that we go through without our spouse in the military and when they come back home both he and us are different.
If you feel like a different person than when you first started out in this military life, if your husband feels like he is a different person than when he started out in this military life, if every time he comes back home kinda feels a little clunky as you re-learn how to work together again, share responsibilities, share your life.
This episode is for you.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We are strong military wives, right? Strength, though, can look many different ways. And sometimes- being strong is knowing when to admit you can’t do something on your own. Sometimes strength looks like vulnerability, asking for help, admitting you need help, allowing help to come in and help hold you up. Which, I know, can be super hard. I'll tell you all about how in this episode.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
In this military life, it can feel like you are always the one that has to adjust, laying your desires down for the greater cause. It can leave you feeling like you are the supporting actor in somebody else's story. I've felt my soul a little faded from putting myself last for the sake of the military, but I have also felt myself come back alive, find that zing from doing something I, myself, love.
Listen in for ideas on how you can do the same.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We talk a lot about making it through hard things together. How when we know we're not alone, we can get through any day.
But sometimes it's hard to know how to actually get through a day. Like, logistically, physically, literally. If this is you, you might need this one simple habit that has helped me with this very thing.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The constant instability of military life can make it feel like we are surviving, not thriving. When I live by the principles that I talk about in this episode, I am able to handle the hard of military life with more ease. Even within the hard of military life, it's possible to live in alignment with what I value, who I am, and what I love. It's still possible. Let me show you how.
Follow Sarah on Instagram
Here we are, looking at a whole year ahead of us- all of the possibility but also, as we know in the military, all of the curveballs that we can’t even anticipate-
What kind of person do you want to be as you go through it?
Maybe you’re like me wanting to be able to handle everything the military life tosses at you and not have it knock you off your feet every time something hard happens.
This episode is all about ways we build that strong center that can hold us up no matter what.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
It's our final week of the Advent series. Maybe things went exactly as you thought they would this Advent season, maybe none of that happened. It's okay. You're here now. God's love shows up here, too. This is the whole Christmas story.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We hear a name of God a lot this time of year- Immanuel- and it means God with us. As a military wife, that means a lot to me to know that no matter what we go through, God is with us. And because we have seen what that looks like, we can go and be with others.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
We military wives know what it's like to wait for someone. Waiting for him to come back home is intertwined with the hope of relief, the hope that things will be better when we are back together. I think knowing the feeling of anticipation, of waiting, can serve us well, here, in this season of Advent. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
A lot of us are walking into Advent with a limp. A lot of us are exhausted, threadbare, needing rest. But it’s not like world events get put on pause to allow us to be still and pause to ponder the season of Advent. It’s not like units stop training, or a PCS is halted for a little bit. The military world just keeps on rolling. My hope is that over these next 4 Advent Tuesdays, these minutes that we have together are one little way, maybe the only way, you get to pause for a bit.
Find Sarah on Instagram @SarahSandifer!
I don’t know about you, but I can say it’s true for me- I’ve done the anxious, unsettled, panicky fear-driven posture toward military life and wondering what’s-next, and I’ve also done, or at least tried to do one that’s more rooted in trust. When you're waiting to hear where you're moving to next, waiting for orders, waiting for someone else to make a choice about your future, life can feel out of control. We talk all about how to handle that in this episode. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram
Episode 4: Take Care of Your Own Self
No one ever told us how hard it would be to make friends as an adult. Throw in frequent moves and military life, and needing community but not having it is a common theme in military spouse life. It doesn't have to be. Showing up, being brave, and putting yourself out there is crucial. I'll show you how in this episode.
Mentioned in this episode: Episode 11, Believe You Have What You Need.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Psalm 23 is one of the most familiar passages in the Bible, but when I read the translation with the phrase "I have what I need," it first felt like salt in the wound and then it felt like a promise. I thought what I needed was other things, like my husband home, my kids to sleep, friends. Turns out, this little chapter taught me there is something much bigger going on.
Find Sarah on Instagram
When it comes to military marriage, we are in it together, we said yes to the military life when we said yes to them. But also at the same time there is so much of this life that we do independently of each other, away from each other.
There are huge chunks of our life that the other doesn’t see, and it's hard to understand what you don’t know.
What begins as an inability to understand each other can instead serve as an invitation to an even stronger marriage.
I’ll show you what I mean. Listen in.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
Turns out, being honest with ourselves and naming what we are actually having to go through is super helpful. Because after that? Can come some adjustments. Maybe in expectations, schedule, or even simply awareness of what is on your plate right now. The awareness has the potential to lead to something that feels revolutionary: Kindness to your own self. Listen in, I'll show you how to get there.
Another episode related to this: Episode 4, Take Care of Your Own Self
Find Sarah on Instagram!
The military life requires us to begin again so frequently, and it can be hard to rebuild friendships so often. If you feel lonely in this life, I have a tool for you in this episode that can help you feel more connection in your life.
Find Sarah on Instagram
I’ve noticed that my ability to handle what we go through in the military has a direct relation to how connected I feel to Lane at that moment.
If we’re in this together, what do I do when I don’t feel in it together?
I don't know exactly what is going on in your military marriage right now, but what I do know is the stressors that military marriages are under.
I made a huge shift towards my husband a few years ago, and it has been a game-changer in our marriage.
Find Sarah on Instagram
When life seems too big or too overwhelming, remembering short phrases that are true and good might be exactly what we need. When faced with the largest of pain, the most stress, what if instead of reaching for more of something, what if we went small and used our simple words to connect ourselves back to God.
If you need some encouragement on how to talk to God in the stress of military life, listen in.
These are the verses Sarah mentioned in this episode:
Colossians 1:17
1 John 4:16
Hebrews 12:2
John 15:5
Psalm 23:1
Psalm 91
Psalm 116:7
Find Sarah on Instagram!
As a military community, I think one of the biggest common denominators among us is that we all know what it feels like to be lonely. In the transient military lifestyle, we need to be the new girl so often, start over in one form or another so frequently, that loneliness and the longing for connection becomes a very familiar feeling. Loneliness is a tender topic, one without formulas to follow or sometimes even a solution, though I do offer some ideas and things to consider. Know that you’re not alone, find encouragement here.
For another kind guide on loneliness, Emily P. Freeman's episode served me well- listen to her on The Next Right Thing Episode 114: Welcome Your Loneliness.
Find Sarah on instagram!
We are military wives but also real human persons who need to take care of our own needs too. Sometimes though, because of the pace of this life and the hard things we deal with, those real human needs can be ignored. It's time to evaluate how you fill yourself back up so that you can take care of the many other things you need to take care of too, and live this life well.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
One of the most common experiences I hear from military wives, myself included, is best summarized with “I’m just trying to get through today.” Not all, but so much of military life is lived in those threadbare places- overwhelmed from a move, exhausted in the middle of a deployment, stressed from finding work or parenting solo or longing for friends. It’s hard to get perspective when your right-now life demands so much. When we have those moments- what do we do? How do we make it? I have some stories, some thoughts, and some questions to encourage you.
Find Sarah on Instagram.
I’ve learned I don’t have to let the circumstances of military life determine how I’m doing on the inside. I might not be able to control a lot of our military life, but I can control whether I react in kindness or bitterness, anger or calm. If you feel like you are constantly adjusting to what has happened to you as a result of this military life, we work through that in this episode with some stories, some practices, some ways to approach this wild military life in a way where you feel strong, capable, and full of love and courage no matter what is going on.
Find Sarah on Instagram!
I learned that in order to live this hard military life well, I had to let myself be known by friends who were in it with me and had to allow myself to admit when I wasn’t doing okay. And now, I have become the person that I needed in our early years in the military. As you think back to your first experiences in this military life, what was it that you needed? How can you become that for someone else? Military life is an opportunity and an invitation to connection. I have some ideas for how you can build that in your own life.
Find Sarah on Instagram
I'm Sarah Sandifer and this is the Keep Your Courage Podcast: Stories to Strengthen the Military Spouse. Around here, we are going to talk about military life and how we can remember love and courage so that we can live with a whole heart even in a hard life. Consider this podcast your weekly reminder: You're not alone and you're gonna make it.
Don't forget to subscribe to the show!