Vanity Project: Recent Episodes
Laura & Charles
Run by international co-conspirators Charles and Laura, Vanity Project is publishing dialogue (p- p- podcasts, sorry I can't say it out loud) and occasional writing. Our interest runs a predictably faggy art school gamut. We're the culture critics fighting extremely-online fatigue despite debilitating anemia.
Charles and Laura are joined by the second judge of Looking For A Third, Lily Golightly! Many have tried to wrangle Lily Golightly behind a mic, few have succeeded. But now that Vanity Project has her hostage, you’ll be begging “Lily GoHarder!”
Lily makes Vanity Project into Woo girls as they talk fondling, writing, bussing, and painting. We ask our favourite DIY school and publisher, Flower Books, what does she think about sex in a jacuzzi? Who is your favourite couple right now? When did you break your hymen?
Vanity Projectors, these are your captains speaking, and we’re going to land this mother-fucking-plane. It’s time to buy your tickets to the live show, Vanity Project: Looking For A Third for November 1st and 2nd: https://ticketing.humanitix.com/tours/the-flying-nun-by-brand-x
Vanity Project are breaking their silence on threesomes, virgins, and their third birthday (you’re invited), with none other than Michael Sun! Michael is not afraid to say it like it is, which is why he will be the perfect adjudicator of Vanity Project’s perfect third.
Listen to Michael’s waxing lyrical on sunning your yoni, Raecism, and why at a young age you need the guidance of a bossy gay boy a few years your senior. Michael Sun bears it all between Vanity Project and in front of the mic… to see live and in person buy your tickets Vanity Project: Looking For A Third for November 1st and 2nd: https://ticketing.humanitix.com/tours/the-flying-nun-by-brand-x
This week, Vanity Project went to Queer Ppt at AGNSW, so that you didn’t have to! We are instructed: one must imagine your grandmother horny...which brings us to McKenzie Wark! We all remember where we were on 9/11, right? Well not Vanity Project, we were too young. But this year ex-Novacastrian, now New Yorker came back to the antipodes to export the post-ethnography of the transgender raves of Bushwick. Yes, McKenzie Wark is still talking about raving and we’re back to raving about her.
From ground zero, to the first death-drop — we mean dip — that you ever saw at Addison Road, Vanity Project’s reportage skirts the life cycle of a boner, the ethics of White Lesbianism, and Law Roach’s role in ballroom academia. What was the most eusexual we’ve ever been? Tune in to find out.
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
When did Charles become a fag? When did Laura become a hag? Together, Vanity Project explore a sexless, but very sexy dialectic: this time, in the form of an introductory reading for the “Fag/Hag” launch. The new book by Max Fox and Madeline Laine-MicKinley published by Rosa Press and launched on Monday the 26th of August in Sydney.
“I’ve always had a fascination for gay boys, lesbians, and transgender people,” Laura confesses as she asks the question, is it more desperate for a hag to need her fag? Or the other way round? After Freedom! ‘90 comes the animated aughts. Modern Family, Glee, Prince Charming. Vanity Project were born this way, baby! And they wave the Fag/Hag Flag with pride!
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Laura and Charles address the last vanguard of perversion in our society in the form of a recently leaked sex tape.
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It’s no secret Vanity Project has been taking frequent trips to the sauna, not least of all the one at Ian Thorpe Aquatic Centre in the heart of steamy sex sydney! Come join Charles and Laura as they uncover the mystery of the Man-Hole, and find themselves in a sticky situation with one of Australia’s most awarded gay Olympians.
Vanity Project finds that the Ex-Olympian turned bored-of-Qtopia member shares their penchant for perversity. Your favourite podcasters run the risk of entering the Syphilitic Games, if only there was a way out of this sticky situation…Consider this Vanity Project’s Sex Olympics coverage!
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Vanity Project takes a trip down the golden mile, down the mineshaft, and into the trough (Proudly Presented to you by 357). Yes, Vanity Project visited the gay museum. Yes, there’s a gay museum in Sydney. What can you see through the arch window? The peep hole? The glory hole?
Qtopia invokes police brutality, high school bullying, and the periodic table as a confused metaphor for the multiplicity of gay identity in our city of sex today. Vanity Project chooses political lesbianism, they choose the public restroom, and they DO NOT choose the pill that cures homosexuality because they were # Born This Way and # Proud!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
It’s “The Met” as in “The Metropolitan Museum of Art” and not “The Met Gala,” you f****t. On the first Tuesday of May we turn our attention to the attendees of Vogue’s reason for the season. This year it opened an exhibition called The Garden of Time, based on a short story of the same name in which aristocrats are overrun by “an immense rabble.”
Sound familiar? Vanity Project turn their attention to protesters, who, in solidarity with Palestine tore down barricades to the Met, and were arrested on Madison Avenue. But never mind that, Rita Ora is wearing beads that are older, we think, than anyone, EVER!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, Vanity Project recover lost tapes from one of their perfect days in New York City. Laura and Charles are in need of a fresh perspective (one that isn't looking down at the crotch!). What can be said about the city that never sleeps?
Join Vanity Project as they traverse the island of Manhattan, from celebrity spotting in the meat-packing district, meeting Marc Jacobs and his peers at the Piers, all the way to the bathhouse on Gay Mens Only Day. Vanity Project just keep saying “yes, and!” to mounting the crap on the street in Brooklyn, and you’ll never guess where it takes them…
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Vanity Project split up! Last week a scene war was waged. One audience was divided over two venues. In a single evening more than sixteen tortured poets sang their sonnets (Jerk Off Instructions) between the Nicholson Building of Haymarket and the barren art school campus of Paddington.
As dutiful correspondents, Charles and Laura attended the two events in order to bring you this very special coverage. In the east, Laura reported from Syd's first Fatal Crush for the new issue of Framework: Return. Meanwhile, in Chinatown, Charles arrived at the scene of Flower Books latest event, presented by Lily at RTTS.Land. Who is more tortured? Does anybody still use a typewriter? What follows are the eyewitness accounts of two departments unfurling...
After their controversial municipal polemic Sex Sydney vs. Neuter Naarm, Vanity Project cross the pacific to form a definitive thesis about Los Angeles. Vanity Project look beyond Tinseltown and towards Nowhere. Sitting at erewhoN sipping on their Kin Euphorics, Vanity Project make like Baudrillard with their inciscive treatise on LA County. America has a problem, and the problem is… Nowhere is safe in LA.
A hypothetical hyperreal trip to Gay Obese Disneyland leads Vanity Project straight back to Azealia Banks. It would seem that Miss Cheapy was right once again, ashwaganda and sea moss are the only road to wellness in food apartheid California.
"You see, the difference between us and them is that they are corn-fed and we are grass-fed,” Laura explains fatty deposits to Charles as they board the plane to LAX. Welcome to the land of fame excess! There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, they chant to the click of the new tasers they picked up at Santee Alley. "We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto".
"Who's Melly Meldrum?" the Queen of Melrose asked Vanity Project after the Madonna show. All rise for Queen Cosmo, LA icon, internet sensation, fashionista, Madonna-truther and friend of the pod. When Vanity Project met Cosmo in the line for the Kia Forum coatcheck, they didn’t know what hit them.
Like Big Ange, she empowered us with her motherly spirit. Like Gwenyth Paltrow, she taught us what her vagina smells like. Like Molly Meldrum, she knows how to ask for a lap dance. Vanity Project visit Melrose Avenue on their triumphant return to Tinseltown to discuss the crown jewels, mother Madonna and answer the million dollar question; Who the fuck is Melly Meldrum?!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
In sunny Los Angeles, Vanity Project are finally ready to relive the night they died and were reborn! In early March, VP donned their individually stoned MOTHER F★CKER tank tops and high tailed it to Tinseltown to see Madonna live in concert.
This is their definitive Madonna Celebration Tour review. Charles and Laura are armed with insider info about exploded implants, viral concert coverage, and bacterial infections. If you Wanna Be Startin’ Something, then come join the party, it’s a Celebration!
Let’s be clear about one thing: Vanity Project was victim to attempted vehicular homicide after the show. And still, they have ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS. Everybody comes to Hollywood, but nobody told them it still hurts you when you look this good.
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This week we ask, what does Daily Male mean when they say “Make Oxford St Great Again”? How do you get Cancelled Twice 💋? Can you wear the Rick Owens “URINAL” shirt to a family gathering? This episode Vanity Project is rewriting the slogan tee, and it says I ♥️ [hate] Melbourne.
We trace its history to I ♥️ NY, The Thatcher Years, and HIV/AIDS. The slogan T-Shirt is as timeless as Charles’ Miranda Priestly impression, which was rejected by Vestoj if you even care. To paraphrase MM6: there is more to be done in the fight against Vanity Project, but this episode is a good start.
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, Vanity Project is asking what’s in a name? We have a sweet tooth, and we’re double dipping in Hard Candy (2005, 2008). In the countdown to their adventure to Tinseltown for the Madonna Celebration tour we remember the album Madonna has chosen to forget, and the infamous pedo revenge thriller of the same name.
We ask, are all gyms gay? What is to be made of the now-gone but not-forgotten global Hard Candy Fitness agenda? Can I have another screwdriver? A tight screw? Would “thonggirl14” by any other name be so obviously an underage Elliot Page? MILF Madonna is luring us into her store with candy galore! and to that, we say, Give It 2 Me!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
We are Vanity Project, whom no man will ever possess! We would be only too happy to become world dictators if only to fulfill our mission: the destruction of the last vestigial traces of traditional manhood in the race to realign the sexes, thus reducing population, while increasing human happiness and preparing humanity for its next stage.
Charles and Laura are back with a bookish transvestigation of none other than the book that sent shockwaves through 1968, 'Myra Breckinridge'. Gore Vidal’s incisive and divisive novel on the perils of modern media, Hollywood, and the Rape Revenge trope. This countercultural expedition through gender subversion asks and answers all of Vanity Project's core questions, and demands that they make their stance on circumcision public. Your foreskin will not protect you!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
In this Patreon exclusive Vanity Project use Poor Things (2023) to finally talk about the big topics. Sure, Lanthimos’ new film might be about a Frankensteinian pedophilia problem, but Charles and Laura want to talk about the Ball Drop. While we’re still in a festive mood from New Years we’re celebrating joyful semen!
Poor Things helps us to ask, is Fully Automated Luxury Communism compatible with Political Lesbianism? Is Laura finally giving up on fags? If an adult baby learns how to jerk off on the silver screen, is that ok to watch with your mum? Are we just like this because we were made to tap dance to LoveGame as children?
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Vanity Project is back. And this time they are on the loose! The team at Beare Park gave the girls special media access to cover the first ever fashion show at Elizabeth Bay's most beautiful pleasure playground!
As they retrace their steps through the notorious beat, the girls are forced to remember what really took place on NYE. They soon find themselves debating the moral pertinence of fur and sexual exploitation, leading them to question the gay cabal that brought them back to Beare Park to rub shoulders with the Australian fashion elite! Lions and tigers and Bears, oh my!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
It’s no secret Vanity Project are obsessed with Sydney and this week, they are fortunate enough to sit down with legendary performance artist Sydney Jarrett of Post Poems Collective. Their reappearance is a long time coming, and this time we’re here to say: Butch Is Not A Dirty Word!
They trace a history of deep and abiding camaraderie, from the working class history of Stone Butch Blues, to activist-sadomasochist Bloodsisters. They ask each other, where are you on the butch/femme scale? How ethical is it to share an ethical lesbian porn subscription with your ex? What does pre-workout and creatine have to do with it? Are lesbians really that unfunny? Ellen put it simply: Yep, I’m gay!
Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Vanity Project’s new treatise is as follows: if you are thinking about giving a standing ovation, vomit. If you are a little too drunk, vomit. Do you believe in bulimia? Vomit. Are you an exhibitionist looking for a new act? Get vomited on. That’s what’s known in these parts as a Roman Shower! We’ve done piss, we’ve done smell, and this time we’re espousing an abject-driven cultural study with a new subject: barf.
Sure, our compulsion to talk could be likened to word vomit, like a cultural hangover you get from gluttonous over-indulging. The girls sit over the toilet-bowl-cum-microphone and tickle the tonsils in the hope of bringing up something worthwhile.
Such sites include pregnancy-induced vomit scenes in Wild at Heart (1990), erotic vomiting scenes in Sex In Public (1998), Lady Gaga and Millie Brown at SXSW (2014), Dodie Bellamy clogging Eileen Myles’ toilet (2015), Laura in Spewcastle, and American Horror Story: Delicate (2023). Emetophobics need not apply...this may well be our messiest episode yet...
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
"What turns you on?" Laura asks Charles. "Oh my god...so much!" There is a spectre haunting the consciousness of gay people and this week the girls are speculating about the size of that spectre. In this Patreon exclusive, Vanity Project takes on Troye Sivan’s new album, Something To Give Each Other.
The album is surprisingly dense with provocation. Rush, the song about amyl-infused chemsex, naturally stimulated discourse about body positivity (see also: Lizzo) and got the girls to loosen their lips about Australia's sweetheart. The album’s promotion had some inciting remarks from Sivan about his own unbelievable positionality (see: topping and bottoming), and the music video for One Of Your Girls awakened something in Laura that she may never recover from.
Vanity Project’s unique perspective is the only one that can decode it all. This is actually something we wanted to clear up. We think that, in the sort of consciousness of gay people, we’re some crazy power bottoms or something, which is just...not the case.
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Laura and Charles sit down with new friend, writer, and illustrator, Indigo Bailey (recently published in Kill Your Darlings, Island Magazine, and editor of Voiceworks) for the latest instalment of our long tradition of Diva Double Features. This time we take aim at one-miss Juliette Binoche. The latest, but not last, of this fabulous cohort of VP-adored women, is gently and thoroughly celebrated in this new edition.
Laura gushes about the deeply evocative and kinda lesbian Clouds of Sils Maria (2014) while also wrestling with the high vs. low-brow casting of Chloë Grace Moretz. We rewind time to Binoche's early career, revisiting the deeply whimsical and still potent Mauvais Sang (1986), where in Paris, the new sexually transmitted virus STBO is ravaging the young and loveless sex-havers. Vanity Project says: this is a crisis!
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
International Lesbian Day may have passed us by, but we did watch the movie Bottoms (2023), and even still no one wants to say The L Word. They don’t even say the ‘b’ word... We finally thank Janey Jacke for letting us talk about ‘topping and bottoming’, and what it means to be a card-carrying member of the Topping and Bottoming Union.
We traverse prostrating at Beare park, preying and being predated, prostridation, and the location of the prostridate. The gay vs lesbian topping and bottoming reversal could be the thing that drives us apart. Or it could be the thing that finally draws us that much closer. Keep going! I’m so close!
Between us down there Vanity Project is joined by a real-life Angel. This is the Spring Summer 24 crescendo, and we’re finishing with one night in Paris. Angel Robertson offers insight into the exquisite pain of designing, and the slightly less exquisite agony of a bug infestation in the beds of the city of love.
We talk Balenciaga and being someone else, Vaquera and doing yourself, and Rick Owens and the perfect mourning attire. How do you put persona in a tchotchke? And isn’t the exquisite pain of correctly pronouncing trompe l’oeil better when you can just ask someone else to do it for you?
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
The girls are back with bestie-of-the-pod Carmencita! Like a hard cock, they reluctantly rise to the occasion and continue to talk about fashion week in Milan. Over a couple of wines, the girls are suddenly seduced by slippery gossip, desperately derailing what is usually sartorially focussed and semiotically incisive discourse. Sorry!
It’s bisexual awareness week, and we’re raising consciousness by Dressing For Pleasure. If New York was about bondage, and London was about flogging, then Milan is the city of Body Inflation. We horse around with cabbage patch dolls, Gigi Hadid, and Alex Consani in Blumarine, and get stuck at AVAVAV. Laura is for once, on the pod, brutally honest. About the clothes this time, she says: "I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me".
Australia's very own Tr*nny and Susannah are back behind the mic reporting on the inner-beauty pageant that is London Fashion Week. They discuss the relevance of London and the UK as a fashion metropole for global fashions. God only knows why FKA Twigs and Cara Delevigne are raising consciousness (kissing) on the West End at Vogue World!
If 4 slim people equals two multi-racial models then how many c-sections does it take to neuter the Mowalola show? This is the place where Caravaggio and Cronenberg convene at the naval-height altar of the low-rise mini skirt. Stefan Cooke is waving his freak flag with more hardcore craft and softcore BDSM on the runway, while JW Anderson is un-stuffing his stuff and molding Play-Doh clothing for fun. Fashion is child's-play! Surely Freud would agree: you can't spell artisanal without anal!
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
To paraphrase Collina Strada, “Everything sucks. We’re all doomed. The world’s on fire, but we’re doing another episode about fashion shows because that’s what we know how to do”. Strap in for the first episode of four weeks of epic fashion week coverage and conversation recorded on the anniversary of 9/11. Remember, every flight starts on a runway...
This week, the girls discuss seatbelts and safety at Peter Do, Collina Strada and her x-static X-men, the abject hideousness of the image, pubes at Dion Lee, the Hari Nef Method, offense, defense, and the skin wars at Coach. This may be Vanity Project’s most explosive fashion pod yet…
Vanity Project is moving to fortnightly paywalled content. Pledge allegiance to the struggle: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
After a few too many trips to Melbourne, Laura and Charles ask one another "Are you having fun down there?" The girls inflame the age-old rivalry between the two Australian cities, insisting that nobody in Naarm is getting any. Sydney is the city of sex and Vanity Project Knows Good Sex.
This episode is no limits! Topping and bottoming! Undress! Dental dams and dog dongs! Feel the rush as we engage in harmful hearsay about Troye Sivan and what is (not) happening in his sexy Architectural Digest house... Vanity Project are here to tell you that we like it raw!
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura sit down with Gertrude Studio artist and man who wears many hats, Francis Carmody, in a new commission for un Extended. They dive deep into Francis' practice and reveal the man behind the alibi. Francis' compulsion to curiosity suits Vanity Project just fine, after all, we have podcasted from far more precarious places!
We follow Francis' deep curiosity into dentist appointments with happy endings, cold calls with scientists, and reinterpretations of the myth of Atlas, whose job -- for those of us who don't know -- is to carry the weight of the world. The job of an artist at Gertrude Contemporary isn't so different!
Is there anything sexy about an Amazon Prime made-for-streaming adaptation of a Young Adult novel? And what if it was an independent Arthouse film about the Republic of France topping the monarchy of The Netherlands? This is the definitive ruling on the latest homonationalist propaganda movie 'Red, White, and Royal Blue' (2023).
This is Vanity Project at its finest. We cover topping, bottoming, and penis sizes as they pertain to racial physiognomies and the blonde/brunette dichotomy, and ask, is calling Prince George gay as bad as being a pedophile? How do you come out to your mum as a bi-top, and what if your mum, POTUS, is Uma Thurman? Really, we just want Uma Thurman to take us out of the closet, and into the Oval Office so we can make some hot pharmacopornography.
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, the girls have invited the gorgeous dancer and writer Belle Beasley to chat about the infamous, and now arguably well-loved Showgirls (1995). Vanity Project says, Showgirls won the culture war! Fix yourself a plate of doggie chow and enjoy this hour-long lap dance. Hide your pearls boys and girls, jewels are a killer in this industry!
We ask all the difficult questions, which Showgirls version is superior, cut or uncut? What are you willing to do? Are your nipples hard? "Of course, only I can make your nipples hard!" For one night only, Vanity Project is Goddess.
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Belle Beasley is a dancer, dancemaker, and writer with a background in classical ballet. She is currently based in Newcastle / muloobinba, and soon Paris.
Her recent curatorial project CAKE, a performance art event co-curated and produced with Henry Dooner, saw Vanity Project debut aesthetic thesis HARDsoft, as part of a multi-disciplinary program of performance, sound, discourse, and visual art.
@belleysbutton
For this tell-all interview, Laura and Charles join the one and only Joan Rivers under the covers for one last episode of her online mini-series 'In Bed with Joan'.
And because the girls are such generous power-bottoms, they've allowed their extra-special guest the chance to interview them!
R.I.P. Joan, you would've hated Vanity Project.
Tentatively, Laura asks Charles, “…did you… like dolls?” It’s another transexually charged podcast. We have returned from the only city to cut off its own Penis-Tower, Newcastle, to give our definitive reading of the Barbie movie.
Charles pronounces “Baudrillard” properly, and reads an excerpt of his upcoming text “Good For Drag”, which is actually about being Birkenstock-pilled, and Laura womansplains Lacan and the Mirror Stage. We beach-each-other-off with our greatest hits about Global Pedophile Culture, Feminism being actually good, and homophobia being actual misogyny. To borrow from the pussy (or lack thereof) discourse of our foremothers: let us quote the legendary Jasmine Masters, “we don’t want to see your barbie doll mannequin pussy. Panties, bitch.”
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
In the grand tradition of actress studies and diva-worship, the girls are back with another very special Double Feature Pod. This time, they are talking about the cinematic exploits and successive slidings of pleasure as depicted by one miss Isabelle Huppert.
Laura and Charles watch The Piano Teacher (2001) and Ma Mère (2004) so that you don't have to! They discuss the problématiques of the two films, which bear a striking resemblance, and recall getting kicked out of the Freud Musuem in Vienna. Is it okay to kiss your mother on the lips if she's Isabelle Huppert and is Huppert allowed to kiss her own mother on the lips? Vanity Project are asking all the questions you don't want answered!
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura are back in the closet [recording studio] to talk about transgender ideation [crossdressing fantasy]. We giggle nervously while we speak very, very openly about the ways we love and adore trans people, culture, aesthetics and ideology.
Through Viscose’s newest issue “trans”, the movie Dressed To Kill (1980), and the documentary Disclosure (2020), we ask: is there an international agenda by gay men that conspire to make cis women clocky? Were you really ‘born this way’? What’s the opposite of castration envy? In our most brave episode yet, we say to our transgender listeners: I’m sorry, and I love you.
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Finally, it’s just us girls, and Charles, just off the plane from Tokyo, is bursting with secrets. One listener asks “Charles, can I ask you a personal question? …What’s the craziest thing you did on your holiday?”
This week we’re aligning our heart, pussy, and boner chakras the old-fashioned way: in the bathhouse, where we make a return to form. That form? Hard-ons, naturally. Shall I compare thee to a sodomised goat? We ask, as an afterthought about female sexuality. The girls find the safe place between men’s crotches, arousal and distress, and quote-unquote “personal style” between me down there in the land of the rising sun.
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
While Charles enjoys a writer’s strike of sorts on holiday in Tokyo, Laura sits down with Drew in the studio to talk everything art and AI. Laura and Drew, yes, probably could have just created an AI Charles to join them, but isn’t there something nice about a human touch?
We talk creativity and labour, the limits of censorship in image- and text-generating software, the limitations of the form, the problem of promptism and trying to remember how to spell the word “vagina,” and if AI portraits make good imaginary friends.
The girls are back on the mic after their triumphant second birthday party on June 7th! For those of you that have been living under a rock, Vanity Project is now officially two years old and they’re finally putting on their big girl panties!
This week, Laura and Charles recap the night that was and share their sensuous collaborative Birthday-Suit text once again for your consideration (and pleasure). This is your trigger warning!
And that, Salvosfit — just so you will know — and your children will someday know ---is the night the lights went out in Goodspace Gallery!
Visit our digital room sheet: https://vanityproject.cargo.site
Listen to our official VPT2 playlist courtesy of our Lady Deejay in absentia, Chanel: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3GrQBz2Ae5VwQticncuVLD?si=AQKboJLKQzilpSft5oPKQg
For more paywalled content head over to the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, for the fifth and final VPT2 interview, the girls are joined by the one and only Miski! Vanity Project: Terrible Twos is just one sleep away! It’s so close we can taste it!
This is a masterclass in talking courtesy of #voicesbymiski. The girls chitchat about birthdays, stand-up, comedy, funny ha-ha jokes, playing-it-straight, writing as practice, and so-called apophenia! Here come the drums, here come the drums!
Repeat after us: Miski. Is. Our. Supreme. Leader.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week the girls sit down with artist, poet, and proud horse girl Elisabeth Sulich for the fourth installment of VPT2 interviews in the lead-up to June 7th! They wax lyrical about mother's milk and arrive back at the platitude that god is a woman after all. And so they are left asking the brave questions: does god have traction alopecia? Does she listen to Ariana Grande music on purpose? Was she raised on baby formula? Did she grow up in a household without a TV?
They discuss the movies that shaped their childhoods: Baby Mama (2008) and Daddy Day Care (2003) and soon realise that all roads lead to Bondi Junction car park.
As Nigella Lawson once said: You could probably get through life without knowing how to roast a chicken, but the question is, would you want to?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
We are graced with HRH, the People’s Princess, proprietor of Sugondèse Film Festival, and proud owner of Triple F tits, Kate McGuinness. In the third of our series of EXCLUSIVE interviews we have the distinct pleasure of sitting across from another cofa alum, an ex-performance artist and comedienne on her artworld journey to and from seriousness, humour, and Parramatta.
We discuss Kate’s love for filmmaking, her return to trekking the entirety of Parramatta Road, and if it’s more Bear Grylls or Marina and Ulay of her, and… yeah! Hold tight through the ex-head-of-sculpture’s bum-hole… we’re taking a sharp left at Granny’s vagina, all in the lead up to Kate’s performance on JUNE 7th!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, for another very special VPT2 interview, the girls are joined by the fabulous Joel AKA Billie Posters AKA Berlin Joel. Ceramicist, filmmaker, performance artist, reformed lawyer and Kitkat-enjoyer sits down between us to chat everything from cofa to UDK and back.
We open up in an anti-circle-jerk of sorts regarding our troubles with institutions, the Sydney art market, and painting. Attention to form is key: whether it’s art school or the sex club we’re searching together for divine inspiration, like Fiona Apple holding a coat hanger to the sky and waiting for it to strike. There’s some kind of cultural interchange happening between Berlin and Sydney… and we can feel it in our panties!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, the ladies are joined by national treasure and school captain, Jessica Rose Pearson. This is the first of many special interviews to come, announcing and introducing some of the fabulous artists who will be a part of Vanity Project’s 2nd birthday party on June 7th at Goodspace Gallery.
Jessica Rose Pearson sits down with Laura and Charles to discuss her imaginary cape and crown, her godmother Nicole Kidman, some of her most painful childhood memories, as well as her recently published book, ‘Yearning at the Opera Bar’ which can be purchased on the No More Poetry website. Get ‘em while they’re hot listeners! There are only 120 copies and we got lucky #69!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Vanity Project were in attendance at the avant-premiere screening of Branden Cronenberg's new film. It's...like a cumshot!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
On the first Tuesday of May (adjusted for time zones) we made ourselves breakfast and buckled into the live Vogue coverage of the MET Gala. Listen as Laura and Charles give a little more than their two cents on Karl: A Line of Beauty.
We give you the talking points you need to survive the media maelstrom of takes, take-downs, and gags of the gala’s red carpet. From Advanced Style and aging musty Chanel No. 5 smells to Nicole Kidman at the Fountain of Youth, Laura is entranced into a pheromonal firestorm that leaves her gagging! Charles can’t help but break down what exactly Karl Lagerfeld has to do with giving Kim Kardashian a pearl necklace AND, just this once, we go easy on Karlie Kloss and JW Anderson. Hear what’s changed the hearts and minds of fashion commentating’s most jaded semioticians.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Special paywalled, untucked, mouth-full, fresh-out-the-cinema hot takes about the new Ari Aster testicle movie.
For the full episode and more paywalled content join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
For this very special 50th episode of Vanity Project, the girls are taking your calls! Watch the gay men go quiet when dialing 1800-Vanity-Project. The devoted listeners of the pod make their voices heard…literally!
Laura and Charles field all your burning questions, like which Sydney art schools have cock shame and which ones have “pussy facing the world”? What are they putting on a sandwich? What is Vanity Project shoplifting? Can they find you a boyfriend? The answers live within this very special episode.
Vanity Project thank you for listening! And with that, the hotline is closed…officially!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Laura and Charles are joined by their dearest friends, Levent and Carmen, to speak about some upcoming special events! Vanity Project cordially invites you to the Fatal Crush: 037 issue launch ‘see-through’ on Tuesday the 18th of April at the Black Box UNSW A&D from 6-8pm along with Levent Kaya’s curatorial debut ‘Bonfire’ the following night from 6pm on Wednesday the 19th at Flow Studios in Camperdown.
Before recording this special four-way episode, Vanity Project flashed their press pass and got a sneak preview of Levent Kaya’s magnum opus. They spend the hour stroking their, and one another’s egos and admiring the cum on the walls à la Jackson Pollock. They discuss art school, drilling, pegging the patriarchy, auto-empowerment, student writing, mentorship, curation, and vision. Have your say, which motherfucker needs to speak up?
Strap in everyone because these shows are going to blow your cock right off! And because we’re feeling extra generous this week, we even included an untucked interlude and a sexy surprise strip tease narrated by Carmen herself! You’re welcome!
Well, our hard work has finally paid off. We somehow managed to get one miss Chloë Sevigny on the pod. Charles and Laura sit down with the one and only to discuss: what is she doing in Sydney? How did she learn French for her role in Demonlover? What did it feel like to give the first blowjob at Cannes?
In this EXCLUSIVE sit-down interview, we suffer the consequences of our compulsive and excessive fellatio discourse, complimented of course by a review of Sugondèse Film Festival, and the mythos and legend of the novel Sarah by JT Leroy.
Vanity Project are doin' it for the fame and no celebrity is safe! From Dennis Cooper to Kristen Stewart, Asia Argento, and yes...even Eliza Scanlen. This brush with fame is just the beginning for these two burgeoning star-fuckers!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
This week, the girls are listening to Lana Del Rey's ninth studio album while sipping root beer by the taco truck. Laura and Charles have developed a new form of navel-gazing: after skinny dipping in your mind, “let the light shine in” by sunning your privates, just like Shailene Woodley encouraged us to do many moons ago, there’s a word it in Japanese…
Whose shoulders are you standing on? Can you get covid by kissing your cousin? Is this the next-best American record? When you know, you know…if you're asking yourself, "How do you know?" Then that's your answer, the answer is "No”.
As Lacan once said, the voice is what’s left when signifying is done. And yet the question remains, do you really give a damn what Vanity Project do after years of just hearing them talking?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
For those of you who missed our exclusive invite only LIVE in-person debut, we present our new thesis: The Iceberg of SEX! Charles and Laura present their musings on gay friendship, sex contracts, and the suberotic tensions that bind and repel us.
As the proud CHAMPIONS of the inaugural TEDxAndrew talk, we rise to the challenge of Dick Tickle, the culture of gay narcissism, and forced thesissification. Finally, under this new theoretical framework we can reveal the answers to your questions: have we ever had sex? Can gay boys ever be friends? What does it mean to be a gay man trapped in a woman’s body?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
It’s 38 degrees and your favourite podcasters have re-entered the closet after weeks of welcoming pride into their lives. In order to weather this heatwave, Laura and Charles are sitting in a basement wardrobe shrouded in the finest of polyesters to discuss recent Fall 2023 défilés de mode. The climate-controlled and windowless cabin they are recording out of is sort of like a Balenciaga show location if you think about it…
New to economics, Laura and Charles unknowingly crunch the numbers; was there ever a second world, and are they in it? What’s the difference between 50,000 and 500,000 studs on a belt? Does anybody care about the business of fashion? And who gets to join them in a three-way? Mama, let’s research.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Happy Fucking Mardi Gras! This festive season we are giving you a scene report from the most fabulous, or as we say, fagulous, holiday celebrations and condemnations. Charles and Laura go deep on their so-called “World Pride” highlights thus far.
We give you the play-by-play on dyke bars, eulogies, the drive-in cinema that we got clocked at, and our experience getting personal with the one, the only…….Troughman! And we won’t let you forget the reason for the season. The Vanity Project etiquette is as follows: honk for the dolls, the freakier the float the louder you cheer, and finally, don't forget to give your bestie a loving kiss whenever you get the chance!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Let’s hear it for the boys! This week, Charles and Laura give YOU a blow-by-blow of FW23 menswear. This is what makes us boys: in a world where war is waged between effeminacy and forced masculinisation, where do you stand?
While Charles takes huge loads interning for Ludovic de Saint Sernin, Laura takes her top off in a perverted sexual pageant because she’s “just more comfortable this way”. Through Paglia’s ‘Sexual Personnae’ we examine the stylings of menswear as it crosses into somewhat-girlswear, through Preciadio’s ’Testo Junkie’ we ask you to relax your hole, you’re clenched babe, and with Glover’s ‘Thrust’? Just listen, you’ll find out.
We point out some very hard truths about erections, topping, bottoming, penis sizes, and the like. Do you have what it takes to be cast in the blow-job-wanting-to-give pageant that is Men’s fashion week?
What’s that smell? After another hiatus, Charles and Laura are back. If you ever wondered what Vanity Project smells like, now’s the time to tune in.
The top notes of their signature fragrance consist of discussions about panty and underarm sniffing and “feral man smell”, the heart notes of the chemicals in lavender that caused your gynecomastia (male breast tissue development), and finally base notes of stale piss that boys can never quite shake off.
We ask, is smelling bad part of feminist-killjoy praxis? Can affect theory balance your PH and what does Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina smell like? Vanity project are burning the Goop vagina candle at both ends so that you don't have to!
This week, join the girls as they sermonise about the ongoing cultural significance of the diva and her gay male sycophants. In the middle of the night ask yourself, must I worship? Charles and Laura do inner-child-past-life regression as they revisit the queues on their iPod shuffles.
As Lacan probably once said, walk into the hall of mirrors and take a long hard look at yourself. Are you a diva? Do you have a gay best friend? Do you crave one? The vanity project thematic universe is comprised of two devout gay best friends that are religious about their practice.
To listen to this podcast you are required to follow Azealia Banks on Instagram, stream Celebration by Madonna, read Fashioning The Unconscious and The Homintern Conspiracy, and watch every one of the A Star Is Born films.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura are back for Paris Fashion Week, and Laura’s trying to scream over the cacophony Girl Pusher’s harsh noise. We’ll continue to fantasise about Margiela, fall out of love with Vaquera, and suck Rick Owens' dick (some might even call it draining). We briefly talk Italian fascism as it pertains to the recent displays by Moncler and Ferragamo, and soon realise we don't know what we're talking about!
Cut to Paris, and Bella Hadid is starring in tasteful bukkake (her nipples are covered). We close the show by giving dignified good-faith interpretation of the Balenciaga pig pen and for what? When Demna throws an artistic tantrum and says "who cares!", we pull him out of the mud, wipe him up, and give him a fresh pair of clogs. Keep your head up king, your creative integrity is falling!
In the words of Azealia Banks, fashion week is finally over, "so...what now?"
We're back! After a long hiatus, Laura and Charles have returned to talk all things inflation! As the wise economist Timothée Chalamet once said, "It's tough to be alive now. I think societal collapse is in the air - it smells like it". And so we ask, what is that smell? Well, it's Glenn Martens' DIESEL of course! Having trouble with a leaky hole after getting pumped? They have an artisan-crafted purple glass plug for that!
For this spring/summer 2023 we give a blow-by-blow. From blow-up clothes to blown-out proportions, whistle-blowing, and even blowing oneself. We take the time to blow them all: Dilara Fındıkoğlu, JW Anderson, even Moschino! Jeremy Scott says we are “drowning in negativity”, which is why podcasters, now more than ever, must fill the room with hot air. Whether that room is a pokies lounge at the local RSL or a stadium home to the world's biggest inflatable scissoring orgy sculpture, you must blow.
Join Laura and Charles in their state of undress as they straddle the axis of sexy and smart. After successfully finding the ugliest dress on earth (see images only from behind the paywall on Patreon) in a dressing room somewhere in Berlin, which left them wondering...what does it mean to dress for success...
They take stabs in the dark as they try to situate straight male desire and let off steam about gay men who love to humiliate women. The world is rife with f-slur lounge lizard yes-men telling you to buy the dress, and for what!
Vanity Project is comprised of sexy, pretentious, and hostile Margielerites and we dare you to understand our very intelligent outfits!
Reading and Viewing list for this episode:
- Andre Leon Talley, 2020, 'The Chiffon Trenches: A Memoir'
- Derek McCormack, 2022, 'Judy Blame's Obituary: Writings on Fashion and Death'
- Eugenie Brinkema, 2022, 'Life-Destroying Diagrams'
- Reiner Holzemer, 2019, 'Martin Margiela: In His Own Words'
For exclusive access to see Laura humiliated in the dressing room and more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Back in Paris, just in the nic (sic) of time for the Balenciaga show, Charles and Laura shine a spotlight on the preeminent actress who could be Australia’s only diva… it’s time for a double dog of a feature with the one and only Nicole Kidman.
We talk radical formalism (re: Brinkema), anti-Americanism (re: von Trier), and the bravery it requires to portray falling in love with the wrong ten-year-old (re: Kidman and kid man). Between the wig in Dogville (2002) and Birth (2004) our favourite wig on Nicole is… well, she’s using her real hair now, so I think that’s probably our favourite, is her own hair.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
In Berlin your favourite threesome continues their hole exploration in the good company of bestie of the pod Lev Kaya! This time, situated in the arse end of the world, we stare deeper and deeper into The Hole dir. Ming-liang Tsai (1998).
We strain our talk holes to stretch the definition of hole, and ask how many kinds of excretion can you name? What’s the deal with the wiping gender gap? Can gay men explain a dental dam? Is cunnilingus when you lick the pussy hole? Stay tuned to find out what our favourite holes on each other are - you’d be surprised!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Today on Wednesday 22nd of June, 2022, our lovechild Vanity Project turned one! Charles and Laura do their greatest hits to celebrate and look back on their first year of one-off collaboration p-p-podcasts. Inspired by Drumloop's 'Open Space', and instrumental remixed by us from Cukor Bila Smert' 'The Great Hen-Yuan River'.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
On this week's episode of Vanity Project, Laura and Charles visit one of Berlin's most notorious sex-clubs so that you don't have to! Our names is both Dita, we'll be your mister-es-es-es tonight...
They go down[town] to see a jarringly immersive Tom of Finland exhibition, and challenge each other to take the Eiffel Tower. Don’t look now, there’s men in leather with huge hard ons that boyfriend of the pod is avoiding.
We ask, are people going to the sex club to avoid kink? Why are married bisexual men rejecting us from behind? Are two cocks better than one? Vanity Project wants to tease married men to the brink of absolute terror. Can you resist? You’re in danger, girls!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura are lured into the web of Kirsten - I mean Kristen - Stewart’s oeuvre (spelling?) for a double feature. Alongside Personal Shopper (2016) they slur, stutter and mumble their way through the streets of Paris. But a spectre is haunting Europe. Is it KStew’s dead twin? Or Willem Dafoe’s allegedly distractingly enormous penis?
In this exclusive peak into one of Cannes’ most anticipated premieres, we break the story of Crimes of the Future (2022). Spoiler, it’s the micro-plastics turning you trans.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura just got a sneak peek of Top Gun: Maverick. Your mission, if you have the courage, is to find Lady Gaga’s penis. We unsheathe mother monsters' biggest conspiracies in a journalistic undertaking of satanic proportions.
We take a peak behind the Scientological curtain to see what’s hiding underneath the covers… Spirit cooking, Clinton’s emails, Abramovic method, oh my!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
It’s that’s time of the year again! But this time, Charles and Laura are doing things differently. Join us on the Met steps as we desperately prove we are Not Like Other cultural commentators and their hot takes about rich people in expensive dresses. In a vain attempt to differentiate ourselves, we’ve refused to give our opinions on the clothes. Save from Cara Delevingne’s gilded chest, but does that really count?
We talk co-parasitic accelerated image creation, liberty, boobs’ shape and direction of boob spillage, making women uncomfortable, the emperors new clothes, snapback caps, Other Women in the form of Amanda Lepore. Do my gilded boobs look busty in this?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura are joined by bestie of the pod Lev to ram, head on, into Crash (1996) and Crash (2022). In a cataclysmic collison between a lavender Lamborghini (driven by one miss Charli XCX) and the car JFK died in (piloted by David Cronenberg) our podcasters try to keep their eyes on the road. Don’t look back, Deborah Unger is giving road head.
They talk the road, the highway, landing strips, Sophie Anderson's tits, and the highly politicised terrain of the foreskin. In a competition between death drive and sex drive, which urge will be triumphant? Get in loser we're going to crash! We've saved you the passenger seat of Lady Gaga’s car because she's just more comfortable this way...
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura, clad in micro-minis (rumoured to be the very same one Nicole Kidman wore) and branded satin ballet slippers, painstakingly examine fw22 fashion week so that you don’t have to!
They talk forever refugees, the hypernormalisation of the aestheticisation of war, violence, the UN, and garbage bags, how-to, and how not to make jokes in fashion, annoying gay men with no taste, learning object permanence through micro mini skirts, and boys invading girls spaces. Balenciaga, Loewe, Miu Miu, oh my!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Tuck yourself in for an hour of rest and relaxation, as Laura and Charles recount their experiences finally reading a novel. They talk everything girlblogging and godposting, twin towers and thigh gaps, competitive insanity, female frailty, general unhappiness and their past lives as treacherous princesses and feeble peasant boys.
Regular podcasting is a promise, and they can’t afford to lie. So get in bed with vanity project for this very special episode and do like a good girl blogger should: lie about being crazy.
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura are joined by the elegantly rockstar, First Lady of the Pod, Faye, to rate and review everyone else’s ins and outs lists so you don’t have to!
Listen carefully, did they just bleep your name? As 2022 dawns they discuss how embarrassing some of you were publicly with the hindsight of January under their sleeves.
I’m sorry I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy that’s in. Or sorry that’s out.
Charles and Laura sit down one-on-one, girl-on-girl, in an all-new REUNION episode where they read back their lockdown love letters… so you don’t have to! This e-pistolary breakdown pod debuts their never-before-seen one-off collaboration piece titled: Message Instances.
After an excruciating fifteen-month separation, find out what caused the once-in-a-lifetime shock that left half of Vanity Project SPEECHLESS. They reflect on separation anxiety, highly literate expressions of affection, and anxious-preoccupied attachment styles. This is a tale of devotion, junkiedom, craving miracles, and missing your best friend.
Love Profusion Playlist:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OJcD4uSUx0MKEkKmu98wi?si=7abeca8e02bd4a7a
Aortic Perforation Playlist:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6J0RGB4JDtXRDsXgyJfNlr?si=1ef0a52351be486a
Charles and Laura are joined by esteemed bestie and former Framework editor Carmencita, and catch Sydney’s last screening of Dasha Nekrasova’s debut feature The Scary of Sixty-First so you don’t have to! Legs spread, they dive headfirst into post-web conspiracy, substance abuse, and resist possession by Jeffery Epstein in the grand tradition of Isabelle Adjani when she was in that tunnel in 1981.
Listen to a world-first in-person recording of the trio as they attempt not to slur their words while asking, do we live in a global fedopillic culture? Who is Glenn Maxwell? Is Carmen controversial or brave? Can men be talented? And more urgently, can you open this bottle of Prosecco for me?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Madonna threw the first latte in Iraq!
Laura and Charles are once again joined by Madonna-sycophant, Drew Connor Holland. They listen to Madonna’s critically un-claimed album ‘American Life’ so that you don’t have to! Endure the X-Static Process of live unprovoked karaoke, pop-psychoanalysis under Freud’s Oedipus, pure stupidity, and digging on isotopes because this meta-physics shit is dope!
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
It's another double feature baby! Charles and Laura ceremoniously - and competitively - venerate Chloë Sevigny and say "hey" to Laura’s Theory of the Puritanical Society. After months of Laura’s begging, Charles watches The Last Days of Disco (1998), and they go to town together on The Brown Bunny (2003).
They talk gossip, pre-influencer-influencers, “It Girl” theorems, and [redacted]. Get on your knees, genuflect at the altar where Chloë Sevigny gave the first un-simulated blowjob at Cannes. They ask, Wednesday was gay day for me, was it gay day for you too?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura gently probe with manicured fingers at Laura’s new [read: raw, unedited] autofiction, titled “Horseshoe Theory, or HOOF RESTORATION VERY SATISFYING”. Listen in to the two waifs’ last-ditch effort at It-Girl-isms and self-aggrandisement before reforming themselves with some sense of humility.
They ponder the ceiling of Sydney’s degrees of separation, and inch closer to interviewing John Waters. Before that, however, they ask their listeners, what would you ask the mothers of the pod?
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Laura and Charles are joined by versatile submerging artist, Drew Connor Holland as they play boy-girl-boy-girl and talk all things female-to-male crossdressing.
As Drew and Laura make a valiant effort to pronounce Inez and Vinoodh, Charles googles ‘girls kissing’ and addresses his sexual confusion. They critique the drag-industrial-complex, dance monkey dance diva worship and all things Jo Calderone.
The three ex-artists continue to submerge and soon learn that they’re gonna need a bigger sock!
Required Reading:
Semerene, Diego, Cross-Dressing Violence: Barebacking as Symbolic Drag in RAW: PReP, Pedagogy, and the Politics of Barebacking. Edited by Ricky Varghese (Regina: University of Regina Press) , 2019
Charles and Laura are joined by special recurring guest star of the pod, Lev Kaya, to chat all things Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Fourth wheel with your favourite threesome as they experience love, laughter, gay-best-friendship, and colonial plundering, oh my!
Attempts were made at bringing feminist, queer, and post-colonial analysis (guess who is who), and Lev and Laura plan a secret podcast heist to an unknowing and frankly, at this point, worn-down Charles on one sore topic (guess which) in particular.
They baselessly speculate on Angelina Jolie’s bisexuality, Laura’s unsanctimonious family, and Mark Zuckerberg’s boobs.
Required reading: https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/movie-features/the-devil-in-miss-angelina-jolie-176199/
For more paywalled content head over to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Get in bed with Laura and Charles as they read Charles' text I'll Teach You How to-. A tale of epic body proportions and ratty blonde hair extensions, set in three acts. I'll Teach You How to- is self-insert fan-fiction. Its autodidacticism, except the auto, is the Pussy Wagon with Camille Paglia in the driver's seat and the didact is Sue Sylvester subbing sex-ed...
"Everybody open up your 1992 SEX Book to page 69. In today's class, we will be discussing lukewarm experiments in voyeurism, pederasty and bestiality."
Strap in and strap on for some good old bedtime stories, art-school-cum-rags, as well as live vocals by veteran podcasters, seasoned voice actors, and burgeoning chanteuses.
Find the full text and more paywalled content over at the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Join Charles and Laura as they immerse themselves in states, sexy, Laura’s new experimental writing piece. We air some dirty, cnted-up, behind the scenes podcast laundry, and read Dodie Bellamy’s Cunt-Ups alongside Sarah Rodigari’s Pulp*.
They discover the reasons Charles audibly groans each week when Laura references The L Word, delve into Cicciolina’s foreign policy (sex), and her imagined conversations with Bette Porter about “homosexual sex with me and states sexy.” View the PDF of states, sexy on Patreon. Be warned! This is no bedtime story, but in the words of Madonna, let’s get unconscious, honey.
https://www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura are joined by Brother of The Pod, Samuel, to talk Spring Summer 2022.
Samuel fills a gaping hole in our knowledge about The Simpsons while we bring fervour to low-waists and the Azealia Banks model of Body Positivity. We violently disagree about nostalgia, multiple L words (Loewe notwithstanding), and maternity-strength-inspired jumpsuits.
In the words of Lindsey Wixon, this podcast is going to wake you up. It’s gonna be like.. wake up!
Head over to their Patreon for paywalled episodes and more: www.patreon.com/vanity_project
In Laura’s absence, Lev fills her petit designer shoes to discuss diva-worship, Balkan turbo-folk music, pitting women against one another, the separation of former Yugoslavia, the separation of the art from the artist, and Beyonce performing for al-Gaddafi.
Join Charles and Lev as they cancel the First Lady of the Militia and try to pronounce Jelena Karleuša's name. That’s turbo-folks!
Must see Turbo-folk:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rO_0v_v228
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xK3-hR61Wh4
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfZoP9akUJo
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuFYCTdWqzY
Additional reading:
- https://balkanist.net/queer-turbofolk-part-iii-academic-voices/
Join Charles and Laura at la barre as their sadomasochistic compulsion to DANCE brings them closer to the brink of Climax than ever before! Something Suspiria this way comes…
They talk affliction, addiction, foot surgery, cosmetic competitive leg elongation, having a day job as a welder, and The Arronofsky Method. Le pod reveals the origins of Sealing With A Loving Kiss, and the cultural fascination with ballerina bodies at the intersection of fashion and dance.
Head over to their Patreon for paywalled episodes and more: www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Join foreign correspondents, Laura and Charles, as they try to locate America on Dan Levy’s Met map. They discuss the ins and outs of American fashion as it pertains to the 2021 Met Gala. From taxing the rich to pegging the patriarchy, the question remains:
“I don’t really care. Do U?”
Listen and look along to this innovative podcast experience by opening the Lookbook slideshow attached on Patreon: www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura relieve themselves with a warm glass of natural champagne while dissecting piss counter-culture and semiotics so that you don’t have to! They ask, what do Lady Gaga, Alexa Demie, Fergie, Kim Kardashian, and trough man have in common? Join them for a meeting in the ladies' room for performative disgust, denaturalising wet-look Westwood & Margiela, and pissing as resistance.
Head over to their Patreon for paywalled episodes and more: www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles and Laura go down on a Body Of Evidence Madonna double feature to celebrate their favourite sexagenarian’s birthday week so that you don’t have to! Get into the groove with these material girls as they desperately-seek-salvation. They chat coke in Oregon, hot wax, on-screen cunnilingus, justifying my kink, the susanification of Sydney, as well as the release and legalisation of sex.
Head over to their Patreon for paywalled episodes and more: www.patreon.com/vanity_project
Charles & Laura invite favourite female, Lev, to read Females by Andrea Long-Chu, so that you don't have to! Forced sissification is kind of foxy-moronic, so when she says 'everyone is female, and everyone hates it,' they kind of take it in their stride. They straddle the axes of critical desire, homophobic gay porn, 'you are valid' culture and macrophillic compulsions. Listen, as they dive head-first with Lana Wachowski's twice-daily blue estrogen pill, into Lana Del Rey's enormous vagina.
Head over to their Patreon for paywalled episodes and more: www.patreon.com/vanity_project