Lashon Ha’ra : Reflecting Our Own Negativity It goes without saying that speaking lashon ha’ra (negative speech about others) is always forbidden, any day of the week. However, the Pele Yoetz writes, citing the scholars of Kabbalah, that there is extra special importance to avoiding lashon ha’ra specifically on Shabbat. He explains that on Shabbat, we are given the power to affect the highest worlds. Whereas our actions are always impactful, and wield considerable influence in the upper worlds, our deeds are particularly powerful on Shabbat, reaching the highest levels. This means that the mitzvot we perform on Shabbat have an especially powerful positive impact, and the sins we commit, Heaven forbid, have an especially harmful impact. The most common sin committed on Shabbat, the Pele Yoetz writes, is דברים האסורים – forbidden speech. On Shabbat we spend more time sitting together with other people, and we are thus more prone to speaking lashon ha’ra than we are during the busy frenzy of the workweek. Therefore, we need to pay special attention to avoid lashon ha’ra particularly on Shabbat, even more so than on other days of the week. One of the sources in Tanach for the requirement of avoid lashon ha’ra – negative speech about people – is the pasuk in Tehillim (34): מי האיש החפץ חיים אוהב ימים לראות טוב , נצור לשונך מרע ושפתיך מדבר מרמה.. Who is the man who desires life, who loves days in which to behold goodness? Guard your tongue against evil, and your lips from speaking deceit… The Arizal noted that the first letters of the words מ רע ו שפתיך מ דבר מ רמה spell the word מומם – “their blemish.” This allusion refers to the Gemara’s comment in Masechet Kiddushin (70a), כל הפוסל...במומו פוסל – whoever regularly finds fault in people is guilty of that same “blemish” for which he always criticizes others. If we are prone to speaking negatively about other people, this is often because we ourselves are guilty of that negative characteristic. This is the allusion of נצור לשונך מרע ושפתיך מדבר מרמה . If we fail to guard our tongues, and are routinely pointing out other people’s deficiencies, it is usually because we are plagued by those very deficiencies. Rabbenu Yonah ( Sha’areh Teshuvah , 3) illustrates this point by way of an example to a fly, which is attracted to filth. If we are “attracted” to people’s “dirt,” to their negative qualities, and this is what catches our attention and draws our interest, then it is because we are like a “fly,” we are small and insignificant. It is blemished people who always speak about the blemishes of others, whereas righteous people always speak about the fine qualities of others. Rabbenu Yonah tells a story in this context of people who were walking and came upon an animal carcass. The people remarked to one another about the strong, offensive stench emitted by the carcass, while a certain wise man who was with him commented, “Look at how white its teeth are!” People plagued by faults will notice the faults in others, while pious people will notice the admirable qualities of others. One of the clearest examples of this phenomenon was Korah, who confronted Moshe Rabbenu and challenged his leadership, asking, מדוע תתנשאו על קהל ה' – “Why do you raise yourselves above the congregation of Hashem?” Korah accused Moshe of asserting his authority over Am Yisrael out of a lust for power and prestige. Startlingly, Korah chose to accuse Moshe of the one fault from which the Torah explicitly testifies to Moshe’s being very far: והאיש משה ענו מאד מכל האדם אשר על פני האדמה . Moshe was the humblest man in the world. If Korah was going to choose a vice to falsely ascribe to Moshe, why would he select the one vice of which Moshe was clearly not guilty? Rav Yehuda Ades, Rosh Yeshivah of Yeshivat Kol Yaacov, answers based on the principle of כל הפוסל במומו פוסל . Korah himself was arrogant and craved power and prestige, and so he accused Moshe Rabbenu of this same vice. This is a very sobering concept. If we find that we are always pointing out and complaining about the faults of other people, it is because of our own faults. The higher we elevate ourselves, the less fault we find in others. Many years ago, when I was learning in yeshiva, there was a fellow who needed $10,000 for his wedding. He decided to ask ten friends, including me, to raise $1,000 each for the cause. I figured I would contact ten different people and ask each one to donate $100. My efforts were generally successful, but as I was slowly reaching my goal, I spoke to a certain person whose response was very disturbing. “All you care about is money,” this fellow said. “You’re just like all the other Rabbis who care about nothing besides money. They never call just to say hello, because money is the only thing they’re interested in.” Indeed, there are many people who think this way. They come to the synagogue and see a Rabbi visiting from Israel , and they know right away that he has come to collect money. And so they decide that money is the only thing the Rabbi really cares about. I needed an effective response, and Hashem sent to my mind an accurate analogy which I used to show this fellow why he was wrong. Let us imagine a man who runs a vibrant and successful hesed organization. He spends his days, and often his nights, working tirelessly to help people and families in need, including ill patients, family members of ill patients, people with financial troubles, the unemployed, and so on. Every two weeks or so, he needs to fill up his car with gas, and he goes to a certain gas station which is on the way from his house to his office. Once, when he pulls up at the gas station, the worker who always fills up his car turns to him and says, “You know, all you care about is gas. You never come here just to say hello, or for any other reason than to get gas. This is the only thing on your mind.” Of course, this is absurd. The man has a very full, busy life, which he devotes to helping people in need. He comes to the gas station because it is something he needs to do, not because this is the only thing on his mind. And so the man turns to the gas station attendant and says, “No, you have it backwards. You spend your entire day pumping gas. You’re the one who has gas on his mind the whole day, and that’s why you accused me of the same.” Similarly, if a Rabbi runs a yeshiva or some other institution, he is devoting his life to lofty and important goals. As a matter of necessity, he needs to raise money to support the institution, just as we all need to go the gas station from time to time to fill up our cars. It is only somebody who thinks about money all day, for whom money is the paramount matter of importance, who would accuse this Rabbi of thinking only about money. Whenever we feel inclined to make a negative remark about somebody, to point out another person’s faults, let us stop and honestly ask ourselves whether that person is really a mirror image of ourselves, if we are looking at him critically because we are guilty of the same faults. The Gemara famously comments, הרואה סוטה בקלקולה יזיר עצמן מן היין – somebody who sees the death of a sotah , a woman who committed adultery, should vow to abstain from wine to help ensure that he does not make the same mistake. Many commentators ask, shouldn’t the shocking sight of the sotah ’s death suffice to deter somebody from this sin? Why does specifically somebody who saw what happened to the sotah need to take precautions to guard against immorality? The answer given is that somebody who sees evil in others is, very likely, plagued with that same malady. And so if one sees the downfall of the sotah , he might very well have this same tendency from which he must work to protect himself. The implication of this concept is that we should feel ashamed to speak lashon ha’ra . If we indulge in speaking about the faults of other people, we are, in essence, announcing to everybody listening to us that we are guilty of those faults. Let us, then, focus our efforts on trying to perfect ourselves, rather than focusing on the imperfections of other people.